THIS IS A CRY FOR HELP....PLEASE
I need help to control my temper or to even stop getting angry if possible, i have a very short temper which has been making it difficult for my relationships to work.
I seem not to be able to keep relationships, though I am notthe type that destroys things when angry, but I insult and say things that might keep ringing a bell for months or that could wreck the other person involved emotionally, though I later feel sorry after 5mins of going crazy and I always apologise, but forgiveness is always impossible for my words...
Please blog visitors advice me on what to do...Is there anywhere ii can attend anger management classes or is there any church that offers counselling on this?
I really Need help!
hi
ReplyDeletepls,,take things easy
ReplyDeleteGOD will help you
Dont develop High BP oo
@Galore
@Poster: Anger is such a terrible thing. I was always in a shouting competition with all my past relationships & turned down marriage proposals cos I knew it wouldn't work, as my main aim when angry is to rubbish the person who got me angry. I started praying seriously about it & jokingly started asking friends for help until somehow gave me Joyce Meyer's, Managing ur Emotions: Instead of letting ur Emotions manage U. That book coupled with prayers & determination solved my anger issues. I've been married for one year now & my husband tells his people that I'm the most cheerful woman he's ever met. Thank God he didn't meet d old me. U can buy the book on Amazon or big bookshops. All the best in your journey to control ur anger.
DeleteI can feel your pain for u was once in your shoes. My anger destroyed a lot of my relationships. I made a grown man cry a few times because of the manner I spoke to him. I only learnt to calm down when my brother asked me to treat men the way i would want women to treat him. That was the wake up call I needed. I also learnt to keep quiet whenever I got very angry. Six years on, I'm happily married with 3 kids .
ReplyDeleteYou are already on the right path to a change of attitude because you have accepted you have anger issues and you really want to learn to control yourself. Well, I don't know any counsellor to direct you to but first, it has to start with you. Learn to allow your brain think before talking. You can do it, you can control it. Try by first keeping quiet when an argument or quarrel starts. Even if the person is trying to get on your nerves, remember what your anger issues have cost you in the past and try to keep quiet.
ReplyDeleteJ.knight is that you
Delete
ReplyDeleteAre you a learner?
Looks like you have never caused a monumental diasaster with your anger. I learnt to control my anger after I said something so hurtful I hated myself.
It sounds so cliche but it works: learn to bite your tongue and count to 10,20, whatever, when you feel like saying something out of anger. Or start muttering "I'm not going to get angry, I'm bigger than my anger". It takes time but it's helped me.
I've reached for my phone, typed a nasty message, changed my mind, and discarded the message, then felt so good afterwards for not sending the message. Your first reaction when angry is always the wrong one. Always také some time out to cool off.
Dis person don watch keeping up with d kardasian die...heheheheheeh
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Awwwwwwww,I'm in your shoes presently and I'm seriously battling with it, but I want you to know there is nothing wrong with getting angry o but we shouldn't allow it control us,we should always learn to control our anger, try and read books on angers, which I'm currently doing and pray about it, when you are angry and you are at home just try and bathe it will help to calm you down and properly sleep then when you are calm you discuss everything with your partner.I hope it works
ReplyDeletePoster,re u male or female?Any which way,we re all products of our backgrounds.One angry parent or angry siblings are enough to infect you.A toddler who constantly throws extreme tantrums(rolling on the floor,hitting his head against a wall in defiance,walking out on authority etc),if not corrected,grows up to be a magnified version.No regular person wants to be around an angry person. I don't know about anger management classes in Nigeria,but you need to seek counselling. In the meantime,handle yourself! Life is not that serious. Angry people are mostly Anal.Everything can't be perfect in an imperfect world;that is why you must cut people some slack. Most things are not worth the rage.infact,if you look at a scenario that makes you angry from another weird point of view,it may as well be funny. Pick the humour in the palaver and laugh it off or zip it! it works.Coolu temper dear.
ReplyDeletewide eyed long tym! Wia art thou bin? Misd ur comments plenty plenty *no homo*
DeleteAlways short ur mouth up whenever u are angry or aving issues with ur man or anyone, if u know u can't short it den dress up and take a work outside.
ReplyDeleteYou need Queen Premier!
Delete@Ola, instead of correcting her, in your haste you also made a blunder. It's Queen Primer.
DeleteAnd @ chick felix, it's shut up.
No thanks needed.
Please,tell her
DeleteTnxx @okubo.
DeleteNo! Its QUEEN PREMIER book 1 and 2. Not PRIMER.
DeleteIt's not premier it's primer!
DeleteYes!you re right! Its PRIMER. Thanks Love.
Deleteplease i need help seriously also. im very impatient with people and lack zero tolerance for b/s
ReplyDeleteYou lack zero tolerance or you have zero tolerance?
DeleteWhen you are angry , collect a good quantity of water in your mouth ,don't swallow it and don't spit it out for 10 mins.then let me know what happened. Good luck. ANGER IS AN ORPHAN.(you have to carry out this procedure before you utter a word NOT AFTER )
ReplyDeleteMy dear, I have the same issue. My 2 brothers are like that. Its just one of my sibling that is different. We don't insult oo. But we shout the roof off.
ReplyDeleteJust imagine I had probelm with a church member in order not 2 shout and fall my hand I left the church cus my anger can fall my hand. If I am angry na shout oo but not insult.
There was a guy at work that use se always play rough play. Small time he will touch my waist. I used 2 warn him he didn't listen. One day he graduated 2 my breast. That day I be like beast. HE started it but I gave him what he deserved. I shouted at him that I warned him never to touch me.
Do u know what he called me!? Abuja ashawo that he can never date a girl like me but just 2 sleep with me. cus I reported him 2 my boss so in front of my boss and other staff to protect his ego he ranted trash. My God that's when he knew my true colour. When I don't sleep around not to talk of the fact that I've not been in a relationship 4 almost one year. I called him "akpa doty" (bag of dirts) cus he has a natural body odour and truthfully he does but I am 2 nice 2 tell him. Omen that day I hide my face cus them start 2 dey knew me as ph razz babe.
Anger is not a good thing. I try 2 avoid people and situations that will make me angry. Like if my friend says an annoying thing I just walk away. That's the best option 4 u. Walk away. Then come back and tell the person in question that what he or she did is not good. Like me I 4gave the church member since. The person will not understand cus I haven't returned. But I have cus I walked away rather than confronting the person with my mouth.I am the softed and most cheerful person without the anger. People aways tell me I am nice.
If ur angry with some1 breath in n out and walk away. Later come back n tellk the person his or her wrong. Everything is in the mind. U can control ur anger.
THERE IS BEAUTY BEHIND EVERY IMPERFECTION.
Dear Poster,
ReplyDeletefirst and foremost, words re like eggs, once they hit the ground, you cant pack back. they hurt....
that said, you can work on yourself without seeking for counselors
look for scriptures (google can make things easier)that teaches you the destruction anger brings,
with the word of God, you will be peaceful inside which will manifest calmness outside should you get provoked.
breathe!!!!! easy!!! relax!!!
When am angry, I get so angry that everyone around me at the time will have a taste of my temper; prayer is the key to destroy this spirit of anger. If GOD can make me meek and calm now HE can surely do yours......open your mouth and ask GOD to help you!
ReplyDeleteIts simple!...try not to say anytin wen angry..just keep calm..u can just keep calm..u don't hv much problem
ReplyDeleteWhen you get angry, count 1-30 before saying anything!! By the time u;re done, u should be calmer! If 30 secs aint enough, you could count to a million! by that time, the person who got you angry sef would be snoring in his or her house! If only you can keep to this simple method, you'd see an improvement! Remember, whatever is said in annoyance cannot be taken back. Guard your tongue!! Death and life are in the power of the tongue.
ReplyDelete*cheers*
First thing pray and secondly learn not to take things too serious life is short and your happiness matters more. it is well stella please support my friend
ReplyDeleteSee how a ritualist was caught sleeping with a mad woman in lagos here God help us all
Stop putting up fake jheaflines here to draw people to ur blog
DeleteAm short tempred too but I try as much not 2 talk wen am upset....clam down nd be silent wen eva som1 upsets you or you can as well walk away till wen tinz clam down!!!
ReplyDeleteDear poster its juat what u have to learn on ur own. I'm also very hot tempered but I learn to control by just keepn quiet then pour out all my anger in a writing or a txt then when I'm calm I just delete it or throw the paper away so I feel like relieved. Nd I also watch my words cos words get to me so I wouldn't also want to get some1 hurt with mine. So just learn how to b calm nd even if u have to express urself pls use less hurtn words.*CHIZZY*
ReplyDeleteI was once like you, used to bully my sisters when we were little because they were *really annoying*...I later figured out I was only trying to impress my superiority on them. When I was in SS1 I gave my immediate junior a slap that made her left ear bleed. My dad was about to desend on me when my mum calmed the tension and called me into her bedroom. "Whenever you get so angry, count 1 to 10" she said. That, and the sight of my sister's blood stained ear, drove that demon from me for good. So, dear poster, whenever that annoying thing irritates you, pause, count 1-10, and pray. Meditation calms tension, and diminishes negative reaction(rhymes..ko easy). Be Blessed.
ReplyDelete@ola #19- na "queen primer" ooohh! u sef e be like say u no sabi d book.
ReplyDeleteWhat if u're driving and ur annoying bf who is making u mad is in d car. How do u walk away or handle dat? Bcos my own anger is horrible! And d words I say can kill a child in d womb. I swear its bad
ReplyDeleteThis comment just made me smile! Like serzly? U needed 2 have met me 3yrs back. Have u ever seen a girl drag a man out of her car? In presence of his friends n her friends. Till date 1 of my friends stopped talking to me, she called me a monster. Thank God for this new me. I worked on myself cuz that monster statement hit me. Now I keep quiet when I'm angry or I start cleaning the house even if it's clean. Lol! All the best dear
DeleteMy wife can represent Nigeria at the anger games, if there is one. Not sure how I have been coping but I am sure praying for the madness to stop.
ReplyDeleteAside walking away or just staring at her, what else can I do? I need help oh, please.
Tear her betta slap,wat rubbish,she wan take ur position as d husband ni?
DeleteUchenna u are a beast. How dare you encourage a man to hit his wife? Idiot.
DeleteUchenna they have reserved your prison space for domestic violence, you just haven't taken it. Oloshi!
DeleteNo matter how hot your anger, it cannot cook yam!
ReplyDeleteSierra Leone proverb!
When i am angry, i beat people up or address all their previous
ReplyDeletefuckups!
I am really violent!
He he he! U can do it on ur own trust me... I use to have very very bad temper... The kind of temper that made my mom give Thanksgiving after completing one yr in marriage and didn't come back with my properties cos she didn't even know I will marry on time talk more of staying without my hubby chasing me..... I say a lot of horrible horrible things when am angry..... Things I regret saying but I have improved a lot... I am not totally better but I am way better than before... Cos my hubby is so understanding,tolerates and never gets angry.... So now when sm so angry at him,I count 1-20 and the things I wwe piling to say wouldn't have any meaning again... And then prayers too
ReplyDeletePray and ask God to help you.
ReplyDeleteI think one way to curb anger, is to first of all pray for God's grace and strength. After which u make a decision to take things lightly. I understand that anger is from within,therefore u must always put your heart in other I.e letting go all worries. That's my little advice.
ReplyDeleteAunty Stella my comments have never appeared on your blog. Dunno of u don't like me oh��
Hello I am a counsellor nd I could hlp u.u can't contact mi via bbm.
ReplyDeleteCan I have ur pin pls? Coz I need it too
DeleteHello dearie i was once like u. i get angry for nothing.buh i conquered it thru prayers .ask God to help u out .yes u can with God all things r possible .gudluck.btw Stella .keep d flag flying.God bless u.
ReplyDeleteThat's one thing I learnt from my friend, how to control my anger although it doesn't last. my problem now is how to control d ill~mannered words that follows suit, my bad mouth no be here ooh I can bury u with my bad mouth even though I don't read meanings to wot I say,i pray it stops soon, God I need ur help.
ReplyDeleteIf you have been taking anger management classes then anger management subliminal messages may be an excellent tool to use in addition to help control your anger. While you will not want to rely solely on subliminal messages to help you control your anger, you can easily add them to your tools to help to become more relaxed, and more resistant to anger.anger management classes
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ReplyDeleteWhen you go into any drug and alcohol rehab center, you will find that it is full of people who are just like you - people with addiction problems who have been unable to tackle them on their own.anger management class
Have you encountered such a comment? Maybe they mean what they said. You need a doctor though it may sound irritating but consider it anyway. Men have so much pride that they get furious to hear a comment from anyone.anger management classes
ReplyDeleteReading these comments made me realise that a lot of people go through this anger. Well, i am on the receiving end of the anger. My fiancée anger is so bad, that she destroyed the doors, broke my laptop, broke the mirror and even broke the main gate of my compound..yea it is that horrible. Honestly, i am looking for a reliable anger mgt counsellor..she needs help..i need help..i have tried to run as far as I can. it is just killing me inside...
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