Stella my wedding is a few weeks away, God knows if it were just me, I wouldhave put a stop to it but I cant,, my mum is soooo fragile it'll kill her,,I cant even tell her wt I'm going thru,, Ive got no sister and my brothers willnot understand,, Ive got two best friends but I don't like revealing toomuch even to close friends, so no one really knows how I feel...I'm a bit ond reserved side but I dont think I deserve this treatment...Stella I'mconfused, my happiness is very important to me that's y I refused theproposal of a wealthy car dealer based in Dubai some years before I met myman., I remember then I called this man one day and while we were gisting Iasked "wait o, have u ever beat a woman?" and he said "y not? If u dononsense ill beat u!" Ha! Stella na im I borrow leg join my own take pickrace o...
Pls I need advice as I'm gradually losing it, I'm going into dis marriageuncertain of wt d future holds for me...Stella, I neva chased him, he did dchasing, after a while came to see my parents, I luv him so we gotengaged...now hes suddenly changed (outside d house)....
pls blog visitors do not cuss me out Biko! Thanks in advance to those that will drop kindadvices, nd to d anonymous that will say maybe I stink, or I'mugly/fat...nope I don't stink,, maybe I'm not pretty buh I'm to those that will cuss me out, pls go ahead but bear in mind I feel a lil relieved just typing this....nd to those dat will cuss me even before reading my story i typed this in tears so back to sender.
Poster, have you talked about this to him at all? Does he know you don't like the cold treatment he gives you outside? You either back out now, or go into the marriage and remain indoors.
ReplyDeleteHappy bday 2 me do I av any bday mate on the blog?
DeleteGbam!
DeleteLol @ stay indoors
~ stella's Biggest fan!
My partner did the same thing to me when we got together newly. I noticed that he was not always comfortable walking with me in public becos then I was asthmatic and very skinny. After some years later thy lord healed me, and I started to gained weight ,all of a sudden my bin couldn't fit into UK size 14 with diff toasters here and there . Now he wants to show me off but I find it uncomfortable becos I'm used to him treating me as a stranger in public.
DeleteTalk to him tell him that you will call off the wedding and watch his reactions,if his reaction wasn't impressive,please follow ur instincts.
DeleteUna too dey fear insults. Anyway, I can't tell you what to do but I think you are having second thoughts and I respect this type of second thoughts. Someone is going to come on here and say o be prayerful or he will change (na lie). My hubby did this after we got married, all I did was give him a doze of his medicine and he was shocked but it hurt my feelings. You have not stepped into this thing yet, I would really think deeply sha. If you can talk to him and ask him how far, if not delay...but I would not go into a marriage when I have second thoughts.
ReplyDeleteHmnnnn....you already got cold feet.
ReplyDeleteBabes! Follow your instincts.
You ain't married to this guy yet, so, confront him! Ask him why he does that? Making you feel neglected and all outside and becoming a loverboy behind closed doors. Why is that?? Ask him!
What is he afraid of? Is he not proud of you or what?
You had better trash out this issue with him now. Tomorrow may be too late.
Deal with the issue now ...let there be a fall out or ammendment before you let him a slip a ring on your finger in the presence of multitude.
Remember! A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DeleteShuo!
DeleteIs that her name??? Hahahaha pls fill me in....this is the numero Uno of blogs...lwkm
DeleteYes! That's her name! She should not just do anyhow or I will expose her on this blog ooo. Your own dun too much! Ah ah...Lil tip: You stay at the outskirt of FESTAC (Agboju). Bring it on!
DeleteHmmmmmm anon 11:14 na wa make una dey fear God now, what has she said to warrant this kind of hate? P.S I don't know her buh if u cuss me, naman's leprosy eats up that ur hand u use in typing rubbish to bully pple.
DeleteHmmmmmm anon 11:14 na wa make una dey fear God now, what has she said to warrant this kind of hate? P.S I don't know her buh if u cuss me, naman's leprosy eats up that ur hand u use in typing rubbish to bully pple.
DeleteYeah!!!! Anon 11:04 what did bloglord do to warrant all this from u? She didn't say anything bad @ all. SDK make ur blog visitors understand that here is not a platform for expressing hatred but to hear juicy gossip, learn tips about life and share opinions. It's boring and evil when ppl just start swearing for no reason.
DeletePlease if u have issues with bloglord, approach her and sort it out. U really don't have to become a cyber bully to bloglord coz u may end up making us like her more esp if she can play the part of the victim. One love to u and bloglord coz both of u r children of God. Although una fit dey give devil access but God loves us all. Winks
hmn, i can actually identify with you because I have a similar situation and mine is always constant, when we go out, my man will go to the other side of the room and does not even want to associate with me, even hug me in public be like say dem dey pour am acid. i dumped his ass.....he kept begging and begging and begging, eventually i set out the rules for him and he followed them and since then he has been good and behaving himself, he has asked me to marry him but ours isn't till next year June.. in the meanwhile he is still under review.... but for you, i will tell you talk to him, e go hard sha considering say na next two weeks but I'll tell you this, if you don't address the situation, once married, it will only get worse and will be worst when you have a baby... so sweetheart, woman up, talk to the man, u are doing him a favor by being his wife and if he can't be proud of you... sod him.
ReplyDeleteBest advice so far
DeleteBless you dear.
DeleteDear Poster, it is better you address this issue now cos it would definitely get worse after you get married.
Dear, life is not all about what happens around u, sometimes is all about what happens in u. And I believe in life, the best advice that works is the one u advice urself. U poeple are not yet married and he is behaving this way, do u think he will change when finally marry him? I think u can still talk to him and find out his reasons, before drawing conclusions.
ReplyDeleteYou've started taking advice. You are becoming sensisble.
DeleteBabes, it seems you lack a little self esteem because from the last paragraph in your write up, you seem to think pple will cuss you out for not being good enough and that might be the reason why ur fiancé is being odd. Girl, HE is the problem , not you. Never ever let a man bring you down because believe me , it will get worse after marriage. Stand up for yourself now; demand respect and don't give in. If he continues this behaviour , kick him to the kerb like you did with the man in Dubai . As for your mum, sit her down and have a heart to heart discussion with her. Mothers are the toughest people l know. If you think she's fragile now, what do you think will happen to her in a few years when you are trapped in an unhappy marriage?
ReplyDeleteLadies, God has given us intuition ; use it.
PS- Kudos for dumping the Dubai guy. It shows you know what you want in life and that you are smart and intelligent. I bet you are gorgeous too and any man will be glad to have you by their side. Good luck!
Best comment/advice.
DeleteI couldn't have said this any better.
Deletetalk to him abt it. It mite b his nature or he jus doesnt care dah much! Wendy
ReplyDeleteJst sit him dwn and talk 2 him! Mayb his d shy type dat doesn't lik 2 b arund 2 many pple...jst talk 2 him and let him knw wat he does wen u guyz are out,he might not knw his doing all of dat! u can make him change in 2weeks!
ReplyDeleteShy type? Oh please! Don't make excuses for him. Every guy should be proud of his woman. Especially your wife to be.
DeleteNo need to sit him down anything. AS I'M.DEY USE DERICA.GIVE YOU BULSHIT USE PAINT.GIVE AM. SEE BABE AS UNA DEY GO OUT, FEED YOUR PHONE WELA. BEGIN INSIDE MOTOR DEY MAKE CALL, BROWSE MAKE YOUR PHONE YOUR COMPANION , MAKE AM FEEL LITTLE OR NOT IMPORTANT TO YOU. DO AM 2-3 ※ EEEEHHHHEEEN.NO BE SPIRIT GO TELL AM TO CHANGE . (MEN DON'T.LOVE THEIR EGO TO BE TOYED WITH ) KEEP YOUR HEAD UP HIGH ALL MEN ARE THE SAME .
DeleteKnow it today that u are not getting married for ur mother.. She has lived her life, why don't u live urs.
ReplyDeleteU are about to enter a marriage that u see a bleak future in, and yet u still wanna go ahead with it... As fragile as u say ur mum is, if she doesn't die now, she will surely die when u enter the marriage and start suffering..
Thank God it's still before marriage.
ReplyDeleteRun as fast as ur legs can carry you
This guy is just settling for you. He feels he is too good for you. And definitely not proud of you. But ofcos he likes some of the good qualities u posses and wants to just settle
Trust me it will only get worse. Life is too short to be unhappy. You need someone that will love u totally for who u are and treasure you. So my dear, back out o.
U will meet ur true man in no time. Cheers
Dear poster,Have u asked him why he does that? If u haven't, just try and sit him down and ask, he might be one of those people that do not like to show affection in public. Ps I think dis is a minor Problem not enough to call off your wedding for.
ReplyDeleteMy dear talk to your husband to be about this behaviour of his. Watch him closely and see if there are positive changes after. If there is fine but if there is not, then you can take it from there. But do the dialogue as soon as possible( today or tomorrow) before your wedding. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteWc one is bk to sender again? Mtcheeew ma dear u talk too much and y did u accept his proposal in d first place infact wt do u want us to tell u nw?
ReplyDeleteThe same legs you used to bolt from Dubai car dealer,go back there and borrow again. If he's not syrupy sweet right now,he's gonna be so pepperish,sour and bitter when you get married. I suspect that this man just wants to get married cos its a goal he set for himself around this time.You happen to be in the picture right now.I also suspect he may not be in love with you.Men love foolishly. Except there's some attitude from you in public that puts him off.Some people tend to thrive in public display of affection. whereas indoors,they are passive or outrightly cold.The PDA lover,sets out to 'brand' the partner as 'owned' with overblown kisses and smooches. A smart but annoying way of warding off trespassers. Search yourself if you are a' brander';if not,take off abeg.Your mum won't die. Wait for a man that loves you as if you put jazz in his head.its worth it!
ReplyDeleteNne chop knuckle!
DeleteFrom d look of things..u r not only scared of ur mum but ur man too! Aint u suppose to b friends? Don't u guys talk? Can't u ask him y he is always that way? Does he even knw u feel dis way? R u settling for ur mum? Pls answer dis questions truthfully! Ma 2cents, talk to ur mum abt it and don't make it sound like u wanna end it..more or less like mum dis is wat ma fiance does outside what should I do? And talk to ur man that isn't proud of u enough outside! Who d heck does that..its just not fair so madam, talk to ur mum(most important) and ur man! 2weeks is a short tym tho but u can save ur self a heart wrenching marriage b4 it arrives!
ReplyDeleteMaybe he's d type that don't like PDA's and here u are,too emotional.that might just be d issue and not that he doesn't care about u. it's not like he talks bad about u in presence of those pple?just detachment?
ReplyDeleteTalk to him about it,let him know u have a different love language' and he should adjust a Lil to suit u.
As for ur mum being too fragile,its not reason for u to mortgage ur happiness in marrying the wrong person,if it can't work,explain to her and move on!i bet u she will understand....well if not now,someday soon.
Sweetheart, please DO NOT marry him. First of all, your mother that you think is fragile is probably stronger than you can ever imagine. She's the mother of sons and a daughter, she will be strong.
ReplyDeleteA loving husband can never behave this way. There is more to it that meets the eye and if you go into marriage you might end up depressed by the time he reveals his true self completely.
You need to be strong and place a higher value on yourself than you are currently doing. Do you deserve to be treated like that in public? Hell no! Please move on baby! Trust God and he will not let you down.
Like all the comments above, talk to him. Try to understand why he acts the way he does and do it NOW. Theres no time, you have just two weeks to make a life-altering decision. Do not mortgage your happiness please. If your instincts tell you not to go ahead with the wedding then talk to your mum. No matter how fragile she is, I'm sure her greatest desire is for you to have peace and happiness. You sound like a very sweet person, I hope you make the right choice. Please talk to your fiancé ASAP and let him know how u feel. My ex was the exact opposite, outside he was all sugar and spice and all things nice. Indoors his as cold as ice. Men sha....
ReplyDeleteVALERIE.
ℳÿ̲̣̣̣̥
ReplyDeletedear everybody deservs τ̲̣̣̥
ọ̥
be loved. Talk τ̲̣̣̥
ọ̥
him about it. Ur mum won't die trust м̣̣̇e, it i§ in matters like dis dat family support counts. I wish Ɣōų luck with ur decision. Be wise
hmmmmm i think.i know ur fiancee oh! is he in.uk? dump him. hes an ass
ReplyDeleteNa wich advice u need again, u'v already made up ur mind, rememba u sed ur mum's heart is fragile. My dear sacrifes ur apiness ova ur mama hrt.
ReplyDeleteBTW d guy in Q is ashamed of u in d public (sits far, detaches himself, etc).
Smiles @ blog visitor don't cuss me out biko, my dear no dey fear cuss, yoobas say 'ebu o n le mo yan lara'(cuss no de stick for peson bodi)
Did u just notice d attitude? My dear it seems u have inferiority complex issues, u knew he was like that and stayed put till now because of what people will say.. What do u want us to tell u now that ur wedding is in two weeks?
ReplyDeleteThe worst misery is been in a very troubled marriage, two is weeks is just around the corner..
ReplyDeleteTry talking to him about your feelings and let him no ur stand on the issue . Treat the matter now before you start having side kicks in your marriage.
Sister, I think you know your man better than we do! Though even if he's a shy type, he shouldn't have negleted you in front of his people to the extent of hurting you, see, there's no patch patch in marriage, u have to make sure u'r going to a very conducive environment b4 u jump in.
ReplyDeleteIts a two way tin, its either it worked or not, ur happiness is what counts to you most, so u gonna challenge him face to face imediately, give him guildlines which he must follow or call d wedding off. Don't be intimidated, this is ur life, u might not even have the chance to come here and complain wen things gets out of hand!
Marriage is to be enjoyed and not endured! So my sister make hay while the sunshine, as u comfront him, don't be scared to call the wedding off even on that day if there's no meaningful changes.
U want a good and happy life dats y u rejected d dubai guy and if afta doing dat u don't have that happiness, u'r d biggest looser.
Don't sit down and say u'l pray, prayer is used to compliment work, its better to work and not pray than to pray and not work.
U'r favoured and blessed and u comfront him, God is your strength!
PLS PLS PLS Stella post my comment. MY DEAR LISTEN TO UR HEART. I was engaged to be married last year and called of my wedding the night before!! I simply was not happy. My bf was controlling and I couldn't have male friends. In my mind I convinced myself that his jealousy was out of love. But I couldn't lie to myself anymore. My aunty sat me down I told me what I would never forget. Marriage is NOT a bed of roses, u CANNOT change a man. If you're not happy now, I'm sorry you're headed for divorce before December, let's bet it. The night before my wedding I had a panic attack, I SIMPLY could not see myself spending THE REST OF MY LIFE with this human being. I woke my parents and said I could not do it. My parents cried, but my mother hugged me. And I would do it over and over again. I am VERY happy now. So my dear don't do it because of ur mother cos my dad wasn't even happy with me for aa while. But ur mom will not live with u in that house o. U are a queen in ur own right. And u deserve a king to treat u like one. Pls dnt think of what ppl will say. UR happiness is paramount. U won't regret it. Stay blessed. A concerned sister.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, a frd(a guy) of mine told me he is ashamed of his galfrd cos his brothers cald her ''cement face'' cos she's nt pretty but has a good character and if he marries her,he wil neva take her out n wil cheat on her,pls am nt saying u'r nt pretty but it cud be as a result of what his frds/relations have tld him abt u.talk 2 him..am sure it wil help alot.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, a frd(a guy) of mine told me he is ashamed of his galfrd cos his brothers cald her ''cement face'' cos she's nt pretty but has a good character and if he marries her,he wil neva take her out n wil cheat on her,pls am nt saying u'r nt pretty but it cud be as a result of what his frds/relations have tld him abt u.talk 2 him..am sure it wil help alot.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, a frd(a guy) of mine told me he is ashamed of his galfrd cos his brothers cald her ''cement face'' cos she's nt pretty but has a good character and if he marries her,he wil neva take her out n wil cheat on her,pls am nt saying u'r nt pretty but it cud be as a result of what his frds/relations have tld him abt u.talk 2 him..am sure it wil help alot.
ReplyDeleteLolz @ cement face! Na wah for people sha!
DeleteDear poster, a frd(a guy) of mine told me he is ashamed of his galfrd cos his brothers cald her ''cement face'' cos she's nt pretty but has a good character and if he marries her,he wil neva take her out n wil cheat on her,pls am nt saying u'r nt pretty but it cud be as a result of what his frds/relations have tld him abt u.talk 2 him..am sure it wil help alot.
ReplyDeleteMarry the bobo in two weeks and dey waka your own or stay indoor like 1st. Commentor talk.
ReplyDeleteWow I tot I was the only one having this problem,he is all lovey dovey inside but once we step out,he gets cold,he doesn't introduce me to his friends,we hardly talk wen we are outside,wen we eat out he makes me feel like am not doing the right thing.its Ʀεǻℓℓƴ embarrassing.
ReplyDeleteJust tell him off! Half of the time we're managing the men, when they start this kind rubbish, we should just drop a piece of our minds and they should make up theirs!
DeleteHe's not proud of you.dump him.
DeleteODE, A DOG IS BARKING AND U ARE SEATING THERE ASKING US IF ITS A CAT THAT IS BARKING CONTINUE SEATING DOWN THERE O.
ReplyDeleteLeave him. It never gets better. Leave now!!!!
ReplyDeleteI would suggest talking it over with him first. Have you done so already? Marriage is a tough business and things almost always become harder after marriage, so if you are being treated this way already...
ReplyDeleteTalk to him. Pray about it and hope for the best.
Good luck
Talk to him.
ReplyDeleteTell him you are also considering calling of the wedding Cos you can't live like that. Things (mostly) don't change for the better after marriage. His opinion will be you knew about it, you still agreed to marry him so why did he changenow.
And have you considered marriage counseling? , that's a very neutral Avenue to talk about all your worries.
-babe
Lmao... Una no go kill person.
ReplyDeleteDear blog visitor, that man you are about to settle down with is damn too proud, feels he is doing you a favour by marrying and definitely isn't proud of you. What you should do? Address the issue now now, if you are not seeing any positive result, pity him and dump him!
Lmao... Una no go kill person.
ReplyDeleteDear blog visitor, that man you are about to settle down with is damn too proud, feels he is doing you a favour by marrying and definitely isn't proud of you. What you should do? Address the issue now now, if you are not seeing any positive result, pity him and dump him!
Are you sure your man is not bipolar? Its possible he is not too proud of you and settled for you out of no options. He may have a fine face and small this thing. yes?
ReplyDeleteThou shalt not marry that guy! There are no two ways about that, don't coulda woulda shoulda anything. He'll make you invisible after the wedding! EEE!!!
ReplyDeleteIt seems your bobo suffers has superiority complex and you have got an inferiority complex. With such a combination, your marriage could be a toxic one in which he would be constantly chopping away at your self esteem and TRUST me, you don't want that.
ReplyDeleteAbeg call of the wedding, because in a marriage, you need all the love and attention you can get.
Just my 2cents...
It seems your bobo has a superiority complex and you have got an inferiority complex. With such a combination, your marriage could be a toxic one in which he would be constantly chopping away at your self esteem and TRUST me, you don't want that.
ReplyDeleteAbeg call of the wedding, because in a marriage, you need all the love and attention you can get.
Just my 2cents...
Leapsealed .....
ReplyDeleteMy own happens mostly at the palms, see run, he wld run far away frm me, I'll b wondering if I'm dressed like a local girl, I nneva suspect he hates my looks cos I'm so damn pretty, lol, I think he has a complex though so he feels we inferior once he sees all tis girls lookin all flashy, wen I knw they girls and guys ma are lookin at us and goin wow! Then d his family iiiiish, I bet its ego, make dem no say he is a woman wrapper, talk to him, dnt leave
ReplyDeleteMhhh,my dear talk to him and see his reaction.I wish I had .now am a single mum.with a year old son.it became worse dat he ent even kiss me.said he does nt like kissing imagine.and when we make love he tells me to just lie downmi can't even cuddle him.but he had galfriends and kiss them as he likes and sleeps with them.my dear am a pretty gal with all men want.it really got bad I asked him y did u marry me cos dis is nt love.after a year I left him.I did nt care wat people said,oh give him tine,time? At d expence of my own happiness.I blame myself though cos I sw d erly signs but i was so inlove I ignored those details.so my dear be wise
ReplyDeleteIsn't that stupidity? You left the father of your son becos he decided not to kiss and cuddle you . Now tell me, ain't you regretting it .
DeletePealie stfu! The father of her own child couldn't kiss or cuddle yet he does it to hez hoes making the wife feel a dirty cheap slut......abeg dump the motherfuckers ass over and over again
DeleteBabe,
ReplyDeleteHave a talk with him; trash it all out and then drop the bombshell that you have to call off the wedding to think things through properly.
This is an opportunity to trash out all those things you have been ignoring because of love; you better let him know you aren't a jellyfish.
You need to up your self esteem and dignity during the break.
My dear, like I've been reading, those little things people ignore during dating/courtship become MAJOR ISSUES in marriage.
@Anon 2.25pm yes ooo .... I will be glad & feeel blessed to have her by my side.
ReplyDeleteBeta 2 be singl and happy than married and misreable
ReplyDeleteOne thing have got to say is, what has/is GOD saying about d marriage.plz I beg you if u go in without his consent n approval.dnt know what would become of such marriage.so please ask GOD n hear what he has to say.like I once heard! "A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage".GOD BLESS
ReplyDeleteMy ex was like that eeeeeeeeee,anytime I complained he'd become all lovey dovey,thank God I dodged a fucking bullet.u better wake up.ur mum has a fragile heart,my dear if ur marriage crashes ur mum's heart will shatter to pieces,and here's a Warning,u need to be very sensitive,if he senses u wona call off the wedding he might become all lovey dovey just to avoid shame and disgrace,and then resort back to his old ways after marriage,uve waited too long to nip this issue in the bud,2weeks is not that hard for sm1 to pretend,I wish u well,but girl,u need to Pray.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby keeps tearing my pant,he has torn 3 2nite...hmmm. Its fun playin wit him dat way esp after gettin back frm a hot date...its not complete without d fun outing
ReplyDeletemy dear, i understand ur pain, but remember that u dod not have to marry to please anyone, ur happiness should come first, if ur husband to be is not proud of you outside, then check very well, you still have time to opt out, you might get the worst treatment from him when you finally tie the knot. if he truelly loves you, then he should be very proud of you.
ReplyDelete#53, your guy has someone that walks at the Palms that he is eyeing. Dey there make show dey were you.
ReplyDeleteLoool...its funny som of u feel she shld end d marriage. Loool again,,u think it's dt easy. My dear, u shld ve weighed ds guy long b4 now and if ds is d only clause h has,dn its not enuf 2 quit honestly. Marriage is not as easy/difficult as ppl think,d basic thing is understanding. Make him realize u dnt lik dt other side of him and if h continues,,jst let it b. I feel h ll get tired somday, but jst mak sure u dnt ever feel less of urself wen h does it, act lik u dint even notice it. Dr's more 2 marriage dan ds issue ok.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteMy dear, pray and discuss it with him. If a man have no confidence in you now when do u think he will do? It once happened to me and now i'm not in that marriage today. Before i married the guy, his mother was always pushing him inside in hush hush tone, he was not free around me, i thought it was all love. But, I only discovered later that there was so much i would have known about him before marrying him. As at the time i started to ask questions nobody want to answer me again. The family said they did not marry me for him. The marriage packed at the end of the day.
ReplyDeletelmao
ReplyDeletepls...i will advice you,,,,know what u are getting into
ReplyDeleteA failed relationship is better than a failed marriage
Pls....dont say,,,haaa...have printed my wedding invites,,have bought the weddin gown..bla bla bla....is better u postpone the wedding,,,and you both,,shud do a rethink,,,than u going into the marriage and marriage packing up few months after
The lord be with you,,my dear.
@Galore
Marriage is so overrated. Look well b4 u join urself with a mudafucker. It'll be a lifetime of regret if u dont get it right from the very start. Forget ur family, be selfish and think of only ur happiness. Speaking frm a sour experience
ReplyDeleteDon't marry him, it will be worse.. Your mum can save herself, who will save you when the emotional madness starts
ReplyDeletePeale you are dumb, stupid and a nuisance on this blog....did you read her comment before opening your anus you call a mouth? Stupid girl, run along from here before I cyber slap that your smelly weave on from your coconut head.....oloshi alakori
ReplyDelete