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You have forgotten but cannot forgive?you have forgiven but cannot forget?
Perfect day to start this post!
Has anyone done anything to you that you find it so difficult to forgive and forget?
Its hurting you so bad that even though you go to church every Sunday and hear the preacher talk about forgiveness you still cannot let go?
Do you want to discuss this?
Have you been through this unforgiving path before?please tell us about it,your story might heal someone else of their pain and help them let go.
Is it true that not being able to forgive places the hater and the hatee in bondage?..you didnt know?
If someone holds a grudge against someone and the other person has released them and forgiven them,does the grudge from the person who has refused to let go still place both of them in bondage?
Whats your story?
Hmmmm. I av a lot to tell. Dis is always d best tym to comment under anonymous. Sum1 offended me, even though av forgiven him I still find it very difficult to forget. More to kom....... #sippin alomo bitters#
ReplyDeleteMy own na long tin Oº°˚˚°ºo! I have a very srong unfgvn spirit..and am good @ payin bck evil wt evil n good wt good..
DeleteI hve been tkn for granted for too long..
My close frnd acus me of havin an affair wt her ugly crayfish husband whom she feeds..it was so so embarasin..
My aunty who wunt let me hv peace in her house bcox i dunt bring take way pack,ice cream n burger for wen eva i go out.
My stupid udeme frnd who wunt apprct all i did for her,intead na to de gossip me and wish me evil..
My sistas husband who wuld told me he cant gv me 10k to complt my sch fees bcx he is broke but rada send money to a frnd of mine he is toastin but dint no am awer..
My boy frnd of 3yrs whom i waitd and neva cheated on came bck and lukd into my eys and told me he is nw married so i shuld muv on..i felt like killin him dat nyt.he was lucky ther was no knif close to me..i try to fgv but d pain dis incident brut to me neva seem to reduce..
am very nice,open n dwn to earth but pips tk simplicty for granted..dis days i feel happy wen i watch karma fuck dem up..lol
Nw iv learnt to b more private..i see my frnds(frenermie)only on my bbm..
Stella God bless u for this post.....this month made it 10months since I broken up with ma bf, I have forgiven him buh I still feel very bad each time I remember how he looked me in d eye each day n lied to me. He has this girl he has been dating before we met but shez not in same town as us so I didn't know about her n when I asked him if he had a gf when he asked me out he said no. 3months later I found out about the girl tru hez fone n fb n the motherfucker was still denying. Out of anger I called the girl n told her, then I went to hez place to pick up my wristwatch n chain I left there n I overheard him on the fone begging the girl telling her that "what God has joined together no one can put asunder, not even me( he mentioned my name)" u can imagine how bad I felt coz he made me look like the devil while he was the one that lied to me n was even talking marriage. That day it took the grace of God for me not to stab him to death. I banged on hez door n when he finally opened d door coz he knew I had all he said n refused to open d door intially buh he also knows am a drama queen n am ready to embarrass him before hez neighbours...when he opened d door n I confronted him, d motherfucker threaten to lay hands on me but I went into hez kitchen n brought out the knife n told him dat if he as much as exhale bad air towards me, I won't hesitate to kill him. Nigga got scared n tried to calmly take the knife from me I fought him n stab hez new leather chair in the process, grab hez dick n pulled as it(am very aggressive when pissed) buh he succeeded in collecting the knife n threw it into the kitchen n locked d door. I took my things n left but I was so hurt n heart broken coz I actually gave him my heart.....n this motherfucker didn't even care to apologise for the lies(has always been a proud mofo buh I was blinded by love). Each time I remember him I just want to hurt him like he hurt me.......still looking for closure, may God help me not to kill him one day.
DeleteHian! @ wounded pride, I thank God the man didn't marry you biko!
DeleteYou need deliverance!
Anon 4:03pm. Who wants to marry an insensitive so of a bitch? I was so pained coz the lies was just fucking too much.....fyi I didn't even agree to marry him coz I sensed the lies which prompted my investigation, meanwhile I wish u the exact same thing I went through, if u come out a saint I will go for mfm deliverance session. Until then don't tell me I need deliverance
DeleteHian here too o @wounded pride, the dude probably perceived you were some aggressive babe and was just with you probably for other benefits while he had his main babe. In clear terms you were the side chick. If na me sef I go run from ur type o!! Hian
Delete@ wounded pride take it easy u hear, I understand u felt exploited coz i exprienced similarly thing buh u have to let go.....and all this anons talking rubbish. If u no go touch beehive the bees won't get aggressive, no be the guy go toast girl? Him get luck sef. if u hv a gf be contended with her n stop looking for vulnerable girls to hurt in the name of side chick.
DeleteAnon 8:03pm.....I honestly couldn't be happier that we broke up atleast I don't hv to put up with hez mouth odour n pervert behaviour anymore....just really angry that I got carried away n actually believed men are capable of thinking with there head n not their dicks. I feel nothing for him buh hate n disgust but I pray God will continue to help me let go of those feelings. Wish u all happiness that isn't wrapped around deceit
DeleteOh wounded pride,shut it already!
DeleteU shut up...Anon. U are so insensitive and you are thinking like you have never being hurt. I don't wish for you..so pls just SHUT UP. @Wounded pride, may God comfort you and bless you with a good man who will love, respect, and take care of you in all aspects and above all, lead you to Heaven. God bless you.
DeleteHi stella happy sunday. I had a friend I was assisting wen she was pregnant n she was going tru a lot then frm hubby n family pressures but one day we had a little quarrel as humans we are but I will say it was neither of our fault cos it wasn't d ist time such happened n we made up. Wot I didn't knw was she was so serious about dis one n dt severed our relationship. I swallowed up pride n apologised to her without knowing it wasn't d main course of our separation. Later hrd from friends dt d hubby has made money n she has no use for anyone again, it still pain me even though I bear no grudge against her but I still remember wot I suffered n d pain I went tru cos of her, its only God dt will judge us.
ReplyDeleteLife is a lesson we learn everyday.I was very close to ds guyhe was a nice person no dought he was a family friend and like a brother he is gentle and God fearing he was an ophar but he found a home and a mother in my family he had issue wit our family and moved out like 3mnths ago he comes to d house not all d time, my point he had an accident last 3wks was in d hospital for2wks we spoke he said he was ok only to die 2days ago am still crying as I type ds, he was in his mid 20 what a wicked world can't still believe it.may his gentle soul rest in d bossom of the lord Amen.
DeleteHmmm too many heart broken Nigerian females, Odiegwu oo. As for me i believe in an eye for an eye and i barely get close to people cos i knw i dont forgive without revenge. I give my friends or anyone am dating d best of me and if u dare hurt me, i ll double hurt u and get rid off u in my life and dats d only way i can move on. Truth is one cant really be satisfied if u dont revenge. Say wat u like, as for me if u aint willing to loose an eye, please dont take an eye. Shikena.
DeleteHmmm too many heart broken Nigerian females, Odiegwu oo. As for me i believe in an eye for an eye and i barely get close to people cos i knw i dont forgive without revenge. I give my friends or anyone am dating d best of me and if u dare hurt me, i ll double hurt u and get rid off u in my life and dats d only way i can move on. Truth is one cant really be satisfied if u dont revenge. Say wat u like, as for me if u aint willing to loose an eye, please dont take an eye. Shikena.
DeletePeople sef. My dear do the best u can and leave the rest for God for He is not asleep
DeleteErrrm @ anonymous ur actually wrong nd u hv a lot of bitterness in u revenge does nothin to ease d soul
DeleteHelp I married my mother
How to attract d man of ur dreams visit
www.sabrinachuks.blogspot.com
Am currently seperated my hubby threw me out because i didnt have a child in three years, i begged nd begged he refused and neva took my calls or called me. I forgive him tho and i let go... But it was a painful experience.... Forgiveness brings u joy
ReplyDeleteIt is well with you.
DeleteYou will find joy again
Pls, with all due repect, I hope you didn't marry him with kopnomi and the result was a childless marriage, cos I know someone who did the same. Well, if that is not the case, pls I beg you in the name of God, take heart, be courageous, trust in God, He will make you smile again. And your ex will come back on his knees. But it will be too late for him cos you will be carrying a child for another. God is your strength.
DeleteStella, it takes only a goat to not remember a hurt done to one. I forgive totally but the lesson learnt guides me in my dealings with such people and others I come across which means I don't forget. Does that keep me in bondage? I don't think so.
ReplyDeleteI agree with u...espcially when u catch sumone gossiping abt u,u don't stop talking to them,u jus watch what u say when they are around!...
DeleteI agree too. I'm always open with people. I open myself up and believe there's a good in everyone. But once I'm hurt I close up. Thing is, they even come back to beg me for forgiveness
Deleteeven after years I've forgotten. I forgive easily but I never let the person close
again. - deni
Yes Stella'I av an experience.I'll b 28yrs in few days..I had sex 4 d first time 2011 december..yes dats afta my 26th bday.I met d guy online thru a friend n he became my best friend online.we were friends 4 2yrs.he was in sweden n was in a rship yl I always was in a serious rship here in 9ja wit a very gud guy.I started avin issues wit my bf n we brk up n d same time d guy brok up wit hi chic.we started datin n shortly bout 2 mnths he came 2 9ja.I had sex 4 d first time wit him n he went back.2weeks l8r I found out he had other chic in 9ja n we broke up.d mst painful part was wen I realized he only used me.he had his game plan b4 he came..I was sooo disapointed cuz I thot he was real.he even tricked me 2 av sex wit him.I saw him cryin wen he found out I was a virgin n I asked y n he tld me dat all d chics he meets as virgins ends up leavin him my dear na so I fall mugu o cuz I slept wit him 2 proove 2 him dat I wnt hurt him.n @ d end of d day he only acted all dat 2 gt me.my life has nt bin d same since then.av nt had a serious rship afta d experience.I cnt even live past it.its still very painful dat I lost my virginity dat way.though av 4given him buh I can neva 4 get
ReplyDeleteMay God be with u.
DeleteMay God be with u.
Delete@ur age, u fell for such a trick? Smh. Wen wuld ppl learn to stop all dese internet loving? U sound lyk a 16yr old. I tink u r living 10yrs behind u cos som 16yr olds sef know better.
DeleteAww same as me,the worst ws dat d man was a married man wit 2girls,I lost my appetite for days,I was so pained bt thank God I hav gotten over it bt cnt forget.
DeleteMiss gemini a woman @ 45yrs can still b a fool 4 luv.wen u reaLly luv som1 u luv completely.except if uv neva bin inluv..n yes p'ple who meets online still gets married.nt evry1 is bad online tho dere r a lot of bad p'ple online buh few p'ple r lucky2 meet their spouse dere.I av a friend who recently gt married 2 a guy she met online.n 4 ur infomation I wasn't lookin 4 a guy 2 marry wen we met onlinne cuz I was in a steady rship then.we were friends 4 bout 2yrs b4 we started dating..
DeleteDid you call that love? I think its because the guy was in abroad (sweden) and possibly contributed to the break up with you ex. How would a woman lose 26 years old virginity so cheap? I wish it were the person you were in serious relationship with. Babe accept you acted 16.
DeleteI had this guy I was dating, he did something, scratch that...he always does things that get on my nerve...he did one that hurt me so bad and even though he begged, cried, knelt down, called our friends, I just couldn't let go of the hurt. It seemed the more he tried to make it right, the more angry I get. The whole thing was just so overwhelming...after some time, I forgave and decided to work on our relationship, but every little he does puts me off, I couldn't even let him touch me again, all those little ignorant things he does that I always overlooked suddenly became a big deal. He didn't have a job (but the sex was really good) when we started but I was ok with it so long as he's making efforts to get one but after the issue we had, I began to see things differently, he wasn't making enough efforts to get a job, he's lazy to a fault and extremely defensive. It just dawned on me...That I probably didn't love this guy as much as I thought I did, that i just didn't give a fuck about him enough to stomach his short comings...the relationship died a natural death but up until today I've still not forgiven him....Maybe I would with time but for now, I just hate him!
ReplyDeleteIjeoma,is dat u?
DeleteAhahahaha@ijeoma is dat u......sdkers una sabi break code sha lol
DeleteMy long time friend introduced me to her brother on bbm and we kicked it off. Fast forward to soome months later, he popped the question and I said yes. Funny thing is, he didn't even know he was supposed to wear the ring on my left hand I corrected him and stupidly ignored the sign,we had a problem for like one week but we later made up...after some weeks, dude stopped taking my calls, deleted me off his bbm list, won't talk to me when I visit...if u are gonna break off an engagement, atleast have the decency to tell the girl why and tell her to her face!!! lesson learnt, never ever date a guy that can't tell ur left hand from ur left hand on the day he proposed, did I mention he was crying the entire time? Yes, he was. That's how evil they could be. Never date an illiterate with zero exposure, they'll totally ruin your life.
DeleteI'm not Ijeoma, im not even ibo..so take several seats
Delete@anon 2:54, my dear u were not engaged na. Na I go marry scam dem dey call dat one. Even ur friend dey involve. Na she be her bro pimp.
DeleteCan I still forgive?
ReplyDeleteHe killed my parents,
she killed my son,
he poisoned my uncle, she destroyed my marriage,
he stole my happiness,
his father killed my carreer,
she lied against me,
even in all these difficult circumstances and more, yes you can still forgive. Sometimes you forgive in tears.
Always ask God for the grace to forgive and forget, if u hope to make heaven.
Yes,forgiveness is a grace!a very special and rare one at dat!
DeleteI forgive dou,i never forget!at that u can never mess me up twice,dont know if that's part of unforgiveness?
if it is,hmmmm!then I don't know if to pray for the grace to forgive' cos living this way has helped me against reoccurrence of bullshit' from pple!
Yes forgiveness bring freedom, forgive and letgo, it could b difficult to 4get at times though
ReplyDeleteI always forgive, thank God for dat grace
I'm just asking God for the grace to forgive cos he just lied about me. Hurtful personal lies that are so unheard of. I just pray that God give me the grace to forgive, i just pray
ReplyDeleteForgiveness brings you happiness....the lessons learnt is wot key,it helps in ur dealings as you go through life.my story is very long I was a 15 years old naïve young boy things were hard for my family at the time as ma dad had just lost his job.I meet this guy late twenties @Church,he liked me lot,very attached like an uncle I never had...I was very free with him so naturally I toldd him evrytn.when I was younger I had attended an all boys school so I ad done a bit of all that...tin is then we never felt any guilt we were very young boys so for us we were just playing...xperimentin + we never got to orgasm.Well crux of the story my new found friend then told me that it was a very wrong tin making me feel like the worst sinner on earth,days later he says he spoke wit a psychologist and the best way to totally get rid of it+ so I don't go out to do stuff with any1 waS for us to start making out...months......years we made out almost evry week of course lik a bad habit hard to curb,it was difficult to stop.I continued thus amidst so much guilt,ma life was so useless at the time...consoling myself with the money,gifts I got.End of story we got caught by his sister..shocked,tells other family members,I was the devil-ma friend says I made him go into it he was only tryin 2 help....she is very churchy she demands he goes for cleansing..he goes pastor mentions my name...pastor says he musn't leave me jus lik dat so I don't fall deeply into the act by now habit turn bad bad...ma friend crying says to me he didn't know wot got into him,he got lost + no psychologist told him anytin. I have forgived but can never forget that incident cos now I struggle hard to get over it and it is difficult...lessons learnt tho. Let me state clearly that life is live and let's live I have nothing against any1 who lives that life,Only God is judge....I have seen a lot from married men 2 pastors+big boys doing really well.Ma pain is probably cos I got into an act I never would have if not of d cock and bull psycho stories and I would never had to worry about stopong any bad habit but it is well!
ReplyDeleteOl'boy,u still don't sound repentant o.Leave prick and try face toto.tufiakwa,e sweet you sotay u continued,he didn't rape you,did he?You continued taking dicks,cos you enjoyed it and wanted to,so shut your trap,bloody faggot!!!
DeleteDon't be a bully. I'm sure you're not as homophobic as a lot of people on her but "Hear the unspoken words" here. Dude sounds like he's in bondage. If you can't advice him nicely, forget it.
DeleteSomeone comes here under the cover of anon to get some of his burden off his chest, and you reply with such a vile comment. If your blood cannot wash away anyone's sins you have absolutely no right to judge, especially not when someone confesses to struggling like this. Remember that according to the Bible guys taking dicks and you insulting and using vile words against a brother will prolly end up in the same fire. He who is without sin should cast the first stone.
DeleteMe too,will comment as Anonymous..*flips hair and walk away
ReplyDeleteOh but u can openly proclaim ur hubbys smelly mouth!
DeleteMean wife! U were fast to tel us ur hubby has mouth odour. Now its bout u, u wanto comment as anonymous..
DeleteDo u sell fish?
What's ur business by the way, he's her husband and not urs. Pple shld learn to mind thier businesses biko!
DeleteMy uncles and aunts from my father"s side kicked I and my sibblings out after the demise of our parents. Hurts so bad that I dnt see my self eva forgiving dem or their generations.
ReplyDeleteMy ex was very uncaring towards me,kept on loving him no matter wat he did and would beg each time I threatened to leave..den my mom had cancer and he wasn't there to support me emotionally like I wanted....I broke up with him,lots of people begged on his behalf even his parents,grandmother buh I refused,it had reached dat point dat I couldn't forgive him anymore.....thank God am married now to d kind of man av always wanted
ReplyDeleteMy husband was very mean to me the first two years of marriage, he was having affair and lying about it. If I confront him he will turn it against. Whenever he travel to Nigeria, he will start arguing with me g me unecessary so he will have reasons not to pick my calls till he comes back because he don't need any disturbance with his affairs. Three yrs into out marriage I have my second child a baby boy, he lost one of his sight, lost his Job stop the affairs, started treating me like a queen.I have forgiven him but can't forget it cos the emotional abuse was too much. Sex with him now is even a problem, I fake orgasm all the time and never initiate sex. I don't really know what to do I still care about him and his family adores me. they never support his evil ways. I don't want to divorce him and don't know how to forget either.I pray to God every day for guidance .
ReplyDeleteHmm. Similarities here! My husband is having affairs, yes plural, one with a lady I know well. It hurt so much. Even with the amount of overwhelming evidence against him, he still denies to high heaven. I've now noticed a pattern; he starts the silliest of arguments and escalates it into a fight, all in a bid to not feel guilty when he wants to go and meet his lady whores. I met my husband a virgin, he's my first and only, I'm shy, reserved and don't have too many, heck, no friends cos I took him as my all in all. Now this betrayal is coloring my everyday existence and for the fact that he still denies after I found out one of his whores is pregnant for him, I can never forgive him. I have 3 kids for him and they are my world. I cannot forgive him because he is the reason I wake up every morning bitter when I look at him.
Deletestella, i added you on bbm and you ignored my request. i have neither forgiven you nor will i forget.
ReplyDeleteHahaha......oh my!...stella,good u brought this up,u wuldnt av known...
DeleteMe too o. I was In a very badcondition ssometime last month and amidst confused tears that night I summoned courage and did something I never thought I could do. I sent a complete stranger the details of my family's issue. Mrs. Stella. Asking for advice. She never replied my mail. Till this minute.
DeleteIt hurts knowing I sent Stella a mail abt a month or 2 ago abt d abortion I did bcos I felt I could talk to her or mayb she cld let other blog visitors talk to me thru comments..but stella never did acknowledge my mail. It still hurts nd I forgive her bcos I stl com to her blog bt u dnt forget such tins as pain..so stella, thks for nt acknowledging my mail..it shows u deeply care for a fellow lady
DeleteI know all about unforgiveness my husband has it. It actually keeps both parties in bondage. Our relationship keeps suffering different setbacks due to his unforgiving spirit. But I have decided not to let it hold me down. If he offends me or I get upset over anything I forgive and let it go that way I always have peace.
ReplyDeleteVisit koolblend.blogspot.com for true life stories you can't afford to miss.
Its good dat u know u r a separate being from ur hubby. Let him continue in his unforgiveness.
DeleteJames Ukeje, yes my ex boyfriend.. I loved dis guy with my whole heart. It was always him 1st before anybody, now i cant say if he loved me too cos i think i made a mistake. He didnt have a job wen we started dating, he was so into d relationship, we prayed nd fasted togethet nd finally he got a job in Ebonyi State, Abakaliki. Oh i 4got to mention, he is a medical Doctor. He changed immediately he got dis job, started misbehaving, he wouldnt even call, i kept calling, on his birthday in March, i suprised him nd he looked into my eyes and said "I love u" all na wash, dis guy became too proud, he would always say, he's in a ward round, clinical meeting nd all. I still loved him, even as he was paid 180,000 every month, d boy stingy die, even recharge card, he no gree send. If i visit him, he would give me 3000 to travel from Abakaliki to Owerri. Somehow i added his younger sister on my bbm nd told her my story, i didnt tell her i was dating her brother oh, she adviced me to dump d guy bf he dumps me nd i will hurt myself, i refused nd still loved him. So he later found out dat i am close to his sister, he called me and said its over, dat we are not meant to be 2geda. Dat he isnt intrested anymore, i begged nd begged but he said NO. I cried nd cried, James Ifeanyi Ukeje broke my heart nd left me in tears for months. He even deleted me from his bbm nd all. I moved on, deleted his sister nd 4got everything abt him.. last month, he called me apologizing, saying we can still be friends, i told him never to call my number again cos ave moved on. I wish him well, but i will never ever forgive him, never... He will miss me 4ever too cos, datz my promise to him. I am still single cos i cant even trust any guy after wat James did. God dey and he will completely heal my heart so dat i can date again... Stella pls post cos am crying as am typing dis...
ReplyDeleteBabe no b only u medical doctor don break her heart o...seems they inhuman wen u com to think of it. DR ATILOLA ADeleke is SOAB! He may think that e has gotten away with d hurts he left in my heart but I knw better. Patiently waiting for Karma...lyk dis guy continuously deceived me for lyk how long that he has no commitments to His baby mama only for her to threaten me on d fone+him gettin married to her wen she had anoda baby! God! I swear payback is a bitch but I'm just chilling... Atilola,u and dt ur pussy of a wife never halla..nnugo?
DeleteSome men shaaaa, sometimes i wonder wat they think we have inside our hearts. Maybe stones, hahahahaha
Delete@anon 12.42pm, Ezinneamaka right??? Thank God u moved on oh. You deserve better jare. I love u, Ijay.
DeleteI can forgive bt i don't forget! N i space u for life!
ReplyDeleteGbam! As in, real space for life.
DeleteWhen I finished secondary school I had a very close friend, bak then I didn't av maths in my result&she didn't make like 5paperz so I encouraged her to rewrite waec with me cos I needed maths. I introduced her to a tutorial class&we both enrolled, infact she stayed wit me &ma cousins, during d exams I remember leaving my seat to hers to help her write up the exam cos she was a slow writer, my phone was stolen that day bt dat was jst d beginning. Wen d results came out I made maths bt she still dint av up to 5credits n both our jamb results was withheld that year,I left lagos for Akure to start PDS & on getting back, she stole ma boyfriend. It took a while bt I av forgiven her cos where I am nw,she aint near. Bt I cannot forget cos she reminds me how friends can be frenemies.
ReplyDeleteMOA
Stella I v 2 stories to tell but I'll say one first b4 the other. A gal I call my frnd betrayed me to d last,met her on d very first day in skul we started chattin,I told ha bout ma sef she did dsame,I later found out my family and her family were rilly close and we stayed in dsame hostel back den,after d chit chat we bcame very close. We go out 2geda,eat 2geda,sleep 2geda,and do almost evrytin 2geda to d extent dat pple started callin us lesbians but we neva cared. Yrs later sumthing I'll neva 4get happened,sumfin dat made me blieve the word dat says 'TRUST NO ONE' neva knew who I cald ma frnd ws just a green snake. On one faithful day she rushed 2 ma room and said 'baby' dats wt we call eachoda. I'm jus comin frm ma bf's place and I misplaced ma gold necklace,I yelled how? When? Thot I told you to always wear ur gold necklace cnt u see mine is always on ma neck she said she forgot to put it on dat day; then she dropped her bag with me and told me she is comin let her check her room to know if she left it bhind b4 leavin 4 her bf place,b4 she left ma room I askd her of her perfume she said it's finished,wen she left I opened her bag and saw d perfume,took it out and sprayed a lil and kept it inside my bag. She later came bk immediately and said she did nt see d necklace; I told her is all ur fault,if u had listened wen I told u to always wear it this wouldn't av appened. Then we left 4 d market in the evenin, wen we got bk frm d market she checked her bag and askd me Where is my perfume? Jokingly! I said I dnt no,she den smiled,I did dsame and later gav it to her....ever since I knew ds girl I've neva stolen a dime frm her or any of ma frnds,she kips money carelessly,under her carpet precisely,if I step on it I'll tel her babe remove dis money frm here if i were to b a thief u'll bid ds money gudbye,severally I saw dollars and money close to 20k kept carelessly on d floor or table buh I've neva 4 a day touched it rather, I'll ask her to remove it. D nxt day bin a sunday,after d sat gold necklace incident. We slept 2geda dat 9te,d next mawnin wen I woke up I did ma normal house chores,few hrs laer a very good frnd came visitin we were all gistin 2geda b4 d 'bitch' left and said she is comin. D nxt thing I saw on ma phone ws a txt frm d so called bf. It says; return d goldnecklace u stole frm ma gf or I'll report u to skul security and any length u want we'll take it to. Immediately I read it I ws depressed; I showed d msg to ma visitor he askd me who snt it? I told it shuld b ma so cald frnd bf,I ran downstairs bought a card and cald d no, I askd d 'loser' wats d meanin of d msg he snt 2 ma fone? He said take it as u v seen it and cut d call on me,I went upstairs and started cryin d visitor said if I dnt stop sheddin dose tears he'll slap me dat he has known me for yrs even wen I do come to his sis place dat I've neva stolen a dime so y am I cryin? I told him accuse me of prostitution I'll bear,accuse me of lyin I'll bear but stealing I cannot take it,I left immediately to d gal's room and askd her bout d msg! She ws shocked 2 her bones,she said I told him nt to snd ds msg dat u did nt steal it but he refused,he said his instinct told him I'm d one who stole it; I said tell ur bf dat his instinct is misleadin me and dat any length he really wants we'll take it to.....I went back to ma room still cryin. She came to my room few mins later wit a plate of beans and plantain and said baby come let's eat 4gt bout wt ma bf said......4give ma grammatical blunder......contd frm below
ReplyDeleteI never 4gotten the pain,I went through cos of a close relation,who once lived with me.She thought me lessons that will always linger in my heart abt gurls,or frenemies.I have forgiven her bt I can't 4get.
DeleteI have or I never forgot.
DeleteTaught
Girls...I mean if u can write the word in full, why not spell correctly.
You are welcome..
Ma son's father hurt me so badly dt I tld him dt I won't forgive him. Didn't av a choice 2 forgive cos all d while, I felt dt I was in bondage bt d moment I forgave, I was so relieved dt all I cld remember was d gud tyms we av shared 2geda and our son. We r best of frnds 2day, though I still wish we were married cos I luv him and I'l always luv him.
ReplyDeleteHurt people, hurt other people and the circle keeps growing wide. When you are holding a grudge, and having a unforgiving spirit, it will turn into bitterness and resentment and so much darkness and then hate in your heart. If you let this take root it will affect your relationship with that person that hurt you and every other person. Next thing u'll find your self dealing with so much anger in your life and even end up taking it out on other people hurting them as a result of the pain you are carrying. I am talking from experience here having nursed i un-forgiveness in my heart for about 2years. Before I knew it, I started treating people the way I had been treated and hurting people the way I had been hurt. Thank God that I quickly examined myself and the what I was slowly turning into. I prayed to God to have mercy on me and help me forgive. Slowly God started healing my aching heart and I started coming out of that bondage. I even started reaching out in prayer to that person that so hurt me. I have completely let go and rather than hold that grudge, I feel free, happier in my life and I am able to look at the person that hurt me with so much mercy. If you are dealing with un-forgiveness, no matter what it is that has been done and how hurt you are, I ask that you please and let God help you deAl with it, so that you feel free and happier and you don't ending up spreading the hurt. It's not the easiest thing in the world to deal with because many times you really have a reason to be that hurt but for the sake of your sanity and mental health, please pray and let God help you deal with it. Shalom!
ReplyDeleteIf I can forgive mai hubby for wat he has and still doing definately I can forgive anybody.its a pity I got married to most wicked man on earth,a man dat doesn't care wether his pregnant wife and 2kids ar ok,all he does wth his money is beer and foreign films,he his so lazy,heartless evn wen he wrongs me he wu never dim it fit to say sorry,I pay d children's schl fees,I clth dem wth mai money,I feed him also without a dime coming frm him to me as a his responsibility,d most painful aspect is dat he doesn't care.I can't type all wat I go tru day by day in dis hands of dis wickedman,d more I type d more tears coming out frm mai eyes.
ReplyDeleteSweetheart, leave.
DeleteHave you had a sit down with him?
If that fails, you can co-parent when he comes to his senses, but you must not allow yourself go through this.
You should consider re-posting this comments to Eya's blog at wivesconnections.com. You will probably get better advice on how to handle your husband type.
DeleteGood luck
My dear, be grateful you are capable of paying your children's school fees, clothing and feeding them. It is well.
DeleteWhen you forgive, the prisoner u actually set free is you, we shld all strive 2 hv a forgiving hrt, it helps I tell u.
ReplyDeleteHappy Sunday to everyone.
Contd......I shouted @ her to get out of ma room wit dat beans and plantain,d bitch said common wats wrong wit u come let's eat joor,it seemd lik a joke to her; she refused leavin ma room,I ad to leave d room 4 her,I went to ma ex bf's room and stayed I ws still cryin,I decided 2 call ma elder sis and narrate d story,ma sis got angry and said I shuld snd her number immediately. Ma sister cald her and askd wt happened she claimed dat is nt her fault and she dosen't know anything bout it, ma sis said there is no way ur bf would v snt d msg witout ur consent; d two of u conspired against her; my sis said if u no hw d two of u did it go and mak it right cos I no ma sis and she'll neva do such,I also told my bf den,he repeated dsame thing dat d two of dem planned it,ma sis told my mom and dad,ma mum ws furious cos she knows I cannot do such. My mom cald her immediately and started questionin her! Told her to go and apologize and reverse wt she said cos her daughter cannot do such,d stupid gal den said is not possible 4 her to apologize dat yes truly I'm d 1 who stold d gold and any length my mom wants we'll take it to dat she is nt scared,my mom askd her do u v a prove to wt u sayin she said yes dat I also stole her perfume and returned it. Jeez some girls are deadly,ma mum said no problem. The nxt day my mom prepared went 2 her aunt's skul and narrated d ordeal ,my mom and her aunt r very good frnds.The girl is an orphan,her aun't is d 1 takin care of her. Her aunt shouted and said so all these happened? My mom said yes she started apologizin to my mom,cald d gal immediately and started shoutin on her and told her to tender an apology letter and she must go on her knees while doing that,d girl started cryin and sayin she did nt do such dat is her bf dat did it,d aunt cald me also and started apologizin; askd me to snd d guys no, which I did. She cald d guy also and warned him seriously not to lay baseless accusation if he has no prove dat she knows my family well we r not lik dat. She den told my mom to forget evrything and said I hope it won't affect our frndship? My mom said no. After all that I ws still hurtin and cryin, for 3 good days I did nt eat I ws so sick,even if a visitor comes to ma room I'll b cryin,if u ask me y are u cryin? I'll say I lost sum1.... After 3 days had gone by,I said to my sef. NO ONE HAS D POWER TO BRK ME XCEPT I DO SO MYSELF. Dat ws hw I got over d incident,travelled to my villa came bk days later. She came to my room d evenin of d day I cam bk frm d villa and apologized, cryin and beggin me,I 4gave her immediately we ate 2geda dat same day but I've nt bin able to FORGET d incident. She still did anoda thing dat made me to stop talkin to her till 2day and I've vowed NEVER TO FORGIVE AND FORGET whoever hurts me again. Pple r wicked. Lik I said earlier pls 4give my grammatical blunder. Stella biko post it. thnx
ReplyDeleteC ur chewing gum issues. Chain, perfume, beanz n plantain....plz take a seat n let dose in real pain speak.
DeleteHmm forgiving is very hard dnt knw aw to stat i ad a frd wen i ws in sch we did evritn 2geder we where close tho i knw she ad sm bad habit dn again nobody is perfect she wears my cloths eat my food i evn gv r mony smtyms cs shes jst managn i neva knw she ws jealous of me she strtd sleepn wt my bfrd i cnfrontd r abt it told to back off cs i put a lot into dt rlstionship she strtd insultn me she felt no remorse 4 wt she did i felt so bad lng ad shory of d story dey bcam official bt dn av lft sch dey r both readn a 5yr course i rili felt bad i cried seriosly my so calld bfrd ws my frd 4 3yrs b4 i we strtd goin out i ws hurt av moved on bt i dnt tink i can forgive.i now find it hard to trust pple.it is well dha
ReplyDeleteHaving a forgiving spirirtis very good. @ sdk, if I start my own e, ds comment page to full but I just tank God for the type of spirit he gave me. Funny enough when I meet people that offended me I will still be the first to greet. Initially it wasn't easy to let go but now I even discuss it peacefully.
ReplyDeleteWhen i was 17, i got admission in2 a higher institution, but my father had lost his job n my mother was just a petty trader. There was no money 2 send me 2 sch. In tears i went 2 my mum's VERY rich sister. I wanted just transport 2 get 2 d sch n d registration fees. She sat me down n told me 2 go n work instead of going 2 sch. She told me dt losts of pple don't go 2 sch n dey r successful. She wouldn't listen 2 me when i swore dt i was goin 2 get a part time job wen i get there. I left her house in tears. I'v 4given her, but i'll neva 4get cos it took me 5 yrs at home b4 i eventually got 2 go 2 a higher institution.
ReplyDeleteSimilar thing happened to me, my late dad(bless him) was a business man and he worked for his elder brother who was a politician a three times minister, and my dad worked really hard for him, but he pays my dad peanuts , so after ssce my dad had a wish of sending my twin sis and I to a British college , but his money was not enough so he went to his brother as a matter of fact my twin sis and I were present , so my dad asked him to pls borrow him 700k to complete our school fees and he said , he was broke, dis man was worth 700milion Naira , yes he told my dad some year's bk dat he will soon turn a billionaire , I was very hurt but I told my sis its ok cos he is not our dad and if he was lying , he will become broke no matter how rich he is, fast forward 10years later this man has barely 10million naira in his acct thanks to his property his is selling as he lost his money to swindlers. And we are doing pretty well all thanks to God, I say karma is a bitch.
DeleteMy husband cheats on me. It's only when he's broke he doesn't. He's a good husband and father but it still hurts. don't think I will ever completely forgive him. Even if I do will never forget.
ReplyDeleteOh how I suffered!! Oh how I cried!! Oh how......emeka johnson nnwaneri...hav forgiven all u did to me but I don't tink dat chelsea ur dead daughter will forgive u even in d grave.......jus ask God to forgive u concerning chelsea's mata........u abandoned one of d prettiest girl in d world n she died a painful death wen she was 8months old.....will neva 4get sha
ReplyDeleteNa wa 4 all dis heart break stories o. I met one liar 2 yrs back n fell 4 him. We had the sweetest love ever I loved him with my whole being but I dnt knw what he felt 4 me. He lied cheated with mee cos I belive he had a gf but lied abt it. I met someone else down d line n today I'm happily married. Wen I drive past his house I just want to stop go in and give him a dirty slap cos of the emotional stress he put me tru. Truth is I still love him.
ReplyDeleteSilly u!
DeleteI choose not to remember when am being offended and I keep my distance.
ReplyDeleteI say 'not to remember' cos it helps me hide the episode somewher in my memory...Forgiveness is a virtue.
Had a nasty experience with a cousin of mine....the most jealous human ive ever met! A perfect description of green snake in a green grass! oh dear....infact, I choose not to talk about it cos if I do, It becomes fresh in my head, I become unforgiving, anger stems and danger spells.....
Make she just maintain her lane, and I'll do same. #parallel lines
# not interested face
Forgiving hmmmm,I had a vewi close friend,she uses ma phone frequently bt av neva used hers.I do save bbm pin in ma mesg drafts,so one fateful day I decided to add d pins I saved on ma drafts unknowingly dat ma friend used ma phone to save a pin,I had a normal chat wiv d contact,den he asked me if I was a student I said YES,he den askd sch and dept I told him.all of a sudden ma gf kald me on phone and said y did I steal her bf broda pin 4rm her phone? I was so shocked and confused,I askd hw come,she said I wanna date her bf broda,dis is a girl wo knws almost everi tin abt me,she even knws I dnt av d mind to double date,she started blahing and kallin me different name and even threatened to tell ma bf dat I was a boifrnd snatcher,I told ma bf was was happening cos I was wit him wen she kald, and I no want make person use em own witch scatter ma serious relationship,4got to mention, dis a girl I gv clothed,foodstuff.shoes and even money cos she nt financially stabilized, dis girl went ahead to tell almost evri one in ma dept dat I was a thief,dat I stole her bf pin 4rm her phone,I was so down den cos evri wan was just looking @ me like a bad friend,I swore dat I will neva 4give cos she's a girl dat I helped wella,will pay her soonest,
ReplyDeleteSamuel chinda ruined me cz of nyore
ReplyDeleteI got married in 2011,to a very caring nd wonderful man,bt his elder brother made life miserable for me out of jealousy.His wife is an illiterate,who didn't expect dat my hubby will marry a graduate.Anytin I do,they will turn around nd say dat I'm pretending to be good to gain my motherinlaw's favour.His brother will always say dat he brought my hubby to lagos nd everytin my hubby has belongs to him,to d extent dat when I put to bed a bouncing baby boy out of jealousy they refused to see my child,(sorry to say he has four girls).Alwys looking for d slightest opportunity to spite for no just cause.Always monitoring my husband business,hubby gives him money,when its easter,newyear or xmas we buy foodstuff nd give to them even though d brother is doing well in his biz he still envies my hubby.Dis man nd his wife tells people so many lies abt us to d extent of accusing me dat I am an Ogbanje,that I'm in a cult dat is why I'm beautiful nd dat I've caged my hubby.He said so many negative tins abt me without gettn to knw me at all.Now he is abroad,sold his trucks he uses for biz nd tells pple dat he is going to deal with my husband when he returns after making his money,dat we've nt seen anytin yet.His wife claimed dat during my trad.weddn she lost her pregnacy due to d fact dat my motherinlaw sends her on errands which is nt true.She never for once played the role of a senior wife who shows love,care nd maturity to d newly married ones.My brotherinlaw always made me cry when I was pregnant due to the tins he says abt me to outsiders dat whenever I pass I become d topic of discussion.D promise I made to my God was dat he sees our hrt nd knws more dan I do,dat this man must never go unpunished,cos even as I write today,it causes me so much pain and tears that there r so many tins which r better left unsaid nd unwritten.
ReplyDeleteI too love this blog. Crazy arse people. From SDK to those that make comments. Hilarious. You guys can make the most boring topics interesting.
ReplyDeletel forgive stella dimokokorkus,she left me in naija and travelled to Germany to marry oyinbo. l forgive her but lam still single any girl interested should get in touch i got two legs,two hands, one head before i forget i got one heart too for the special one one.
ReplyDeleteAww... Sorry oo. But why u nvr find love till nw? For u to hv moved wit aunty stella u must hv advanced in age nw. Hmm...
DeleteWhy is it that every single time I hear or see this nwanneri name its always attached to smn bad,nawa ooo.
ReplyDeleteanonymous 4:35 i didnt get any mail oh...did you have an abortion?why nah?when pple dey find pikin up nd down?whats your story?
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry.
Stella abeg leave matter for Matthias. Me sef vex for u I no for forgive. I bin send you Saturday and Sunday laughs like five times you no gree display any of them. Na you be the high priest of comedy to judge Wetin funny or Wetin no funny?
ReplyDeleteI got married som years back wen i was in my final year. My engagement and reception cake was done by a friend of mine, we agreed on certain amount i paid and later she called me dat ingredient ar expensive dat i sud add five thousand naira bt due to d fact dat is nt part of my budget i told her to go ahead wit d cake bt will giv her d money d following month,d wedding was succesful so d following month i went back to skul to write my final paper wit my frend money bt unfortunately getting to skul i fell sick threating abortion to b precise,i was admitted spent all d money on me and i was discharge a day to my exam,hmmmmmmm my frend call me i explain everytin to her bt she came to my exam hall d following day to disgrace me asking for her money shouting, i wept bitterly cos i cant believe a friend can disgrace me for 5k bt tank God my hubby sent me money to settle her d following day. She came later to ask for forgiveness dat som of my friend pushed her to behave dat way. I forgive her bt its hard for me to forget i tank God, God fight for me and put all d so called frend to shame since den av stop aving frends
ReplyDeletePlease keep quiet jor, u took her for granted, if she hadnt embarrassed u, u ll keep telling her stories upon stories. I know ur type, and u are here playing the victim.
DeleteAnon #64, I am game.....what does your special heart have to offer?
ReplyDeleteI had one friend in skul den one halima abubakar abi na wetin. I tot we were close oh I evn used to do voltron for her evn to my boyfriend self u dare not speak ill of her. One day I was advisin her dat she shld mind d way she talks to a particular set of girls bcos dey usuall laff at her and evn deny to ppl dat she is dier friend dey say she bhaves like mumu. Only for d foolish bitch to go and tell dem wat I sed which kin mumu pass dat one abeg I jus gave d girl distance nd now she is d one famzin me tinkin I'll forget I jus pity her sha bcos wit dat attitude she cn neva kip a good friend
ReplyDeleteI had one friend in skul den one halima abubakar abi na wetin. I tot we were close oh I evn used to do voltron for her evn to my boyfriend self u dare not speak ill of her. One day I was advisin her dat she shld mind d way she talks to a particular set of girls bcos dey usuall laff at her and evn deny to ppl dat she is dier friend dey say she bhaves like mumu. Only for d foolish bitch to go and tell dem wat I sed which kin mumu pass dat one abeg I jus gave d girl distance nd now she is d one famzin me tinkin I'll forget I jus pity her sha bcos wit dat attitude she cn neva kip a good friend
ReplyDeleteThis comment cracked my ribs
DeleteStella,I must give you a kiss whenever I see you cos you really dealing with life threatening issues n you are healing many hearts n homes.God bless you darling.Where do I start 4rm,the lies n deceit...I wonder how some guys sleep @ nite with all d develish things they do 2ladies.I say I ave 4given him but deep down in my heart I just can't 4get.How can someone dat claims,he wants 2marry u leave u outside @ about 12mid night after bin robbed cos he was inside wit anoda woman.I just can't 4get dis incident,cos it has destroy everything I believe in when it comes to trusting people.
ReplyDeleteOn dat faithful night,on my way back from church...I was robbed,my car was gone,gadgets n valuables...The only person I had in mind was my Fiance!I called severally wiv someone's phone but no response,sent him several messages when I got 2his place n still no reply.Called d elder sis n told her what has happened,she called him immeditaely,he picked her call n she begged him 2come open d gate 4mi but he refused despite d fact he was informed of my ordeal in d hands of robbers.All because he had another girl inside with him!D sister called back n came 2his place @ about 1;30am 2come take mi 2her place.How do I 4give him and take him back?Had the guts 2come 2my place d next morning 2come beg me...Even if I 4give,how do I 4get...If they had raped me that night @ his gate,what would have become of me...Its so easy 2say 4give n 4get...But very difficult 2deal with it.
ReplyDeleteHe's such a dickhead! I know a former boyfriend of mine who would have acted the Same way.
DeleteAhhh my sister, time to retrace ur steps and fast too. I use God beg you. You do not want to start writing stories that touch to stella after some years. I still don't understand and will never understand how women love blindly. A man would not change overnight.
DeleteI was also madly in love with my ex. To cut the long story short, I retraced my steps immediately I noticed his promiscuity. It was a gradual process, but first of all start with asking yourself can I cope with this kind of behavior after marriage? If the answer is NO then you know what to do.
Your fiance is highly irresponsible and you should better start thinking of plan B. Please do not make excuses for him, excuses such as "it was just that one time" "he was prolly carried a way" blabla
mehn I already feel for u, if u call that one fiance. Smh
Hmmmm......well mine is still very fresh,jst yesterday my husband went 2 d office so I told him 2 get som foodstuffs cos am preg n can't go 2 d mkt....anyways he later calld dat he cudnt make it 2 d mkt. Cos he finishd late I was lik no probs. Was still waitin 4 him 2 com back only 4 him 2 call me@ abt 9pm dat he won't b able 2 com back home cos1 of his friend is in town n dey'll hang out....I was so pissed(its d 1st time he wud spend d night. Outside our home).....well 2 cut d long story short I cudnt slp @ 9t,so 1st tin in d mornin I went 2 d friend's house only 2 catch my hubby in bed Wit a whore! Dey went 2club n jst returnd abt 4am so I caught him while he was tryin 2 fuck her!! Altho he apologised but am hurtin n I don't kno how 2 4giv him....infact weneva I close my eyes all I c isd image of him n d whore on d bed... HELP!!!!! I want my marriage 2 work
ReplyDeleteMehn ds ur story funny I no lie
DeleteSom1 is in pain n her story is funny 2 u.....oga ooooo....plz if u can't help u keep quiet!
DeleteAnon 8:19. Plz try n 4giv n move on wit ur marriage also pray n ask God 4 help cos it won't b easy.....
Haba! You would have allowed him atleast to do once nahhhhhh
DeleteI grew up in a family where my mum brainwashed us as children to think that my dad was an evil man, she made us hate him for absolutely nothing, we held so many grudges against him and never appreciated the efforts he made towards us. We are all grown up now, and it has taken a whole lot to forgive my mum for all the controversies she stirred up in our family. she made us (siblings) fight and quarrel with each other she was horrid to our friends and extended family, she was an angel in church but a devil at home. At one period or the other all of us were witches or the wizards fighting against her progress *big sigh* my mother na wa. We hated her for a long time, most especially me the last, but the grace of GOd has healed our hearts and has helped us let go of all the hurt and move on.
ReplyDeleteLong story short, it's hard to forgive, and harder to forget. But we have to learn to forgive people, not because they deserve it, but because we deserve peace of mind
I feel you pains!!! Some mums are just wicked.
Delete@wounded pride........I agree he did hurt you.......However, sweetheart pls whenever u r upset never never take a weapon.
ReplyDeleteI have heard too many 'I never meant to kill/hurt him.......theres more to life than being a murderer. May God Help us all
Stella, I don't even knw where to start frm! Is it a father dat abandon me n my Mum for 19yrs, I got to meet him wen I was 20yrs n I have to go stay with him 'cos my mum is late den, my step-mum send me out of d house after some months and my father couldn't do anything abt it,he died a year later and I wasn't even recognised as a child talk of getting any inheritance from my step mum. I have moved on, but I pray I forget all the trauma
ReplyDeleteThe only person who can forget his past are the death people,,
ReplyDeleteyou will forgive is easy,but any person who is telling you to forget is wishing you death,,etc,,the bible,,books,movies,all was written through remembering from memories of the past,,so forgiveness is important in life,,while you will use your past to face your future,,if a pastor can forget his past,then why is him reading the past book called bible?dont be deceived,i can forgive easily,but can,t forget my mistakes in the past
Women, u still love him ke, abi d guy koboko pass ur hubby own, u wan go chop am again.
ReplyDeleteOk; I hate my brother I think dats d worst;ones I leave his haus ds mnth end dnt think I wl call him ever ever again.
ReplyDeleteStella has finally find her niche in this game! May God bless all those who pour their hearts here....
ReplyDeleteI will forgive her , but forget never ! my aunt she promise to help me in my academics, after I got admission she abandoned me leaving my poor mother to suffer for with her petty trade.....God will judge us.
I commented on DV post abt d pains I have gone through in life through my parents. Truth be told, there is no human dat has hurt me like them. I hv chosen not to feel anything for my father and as such I am indifferent abt him. However, for my mother, its leading to hatred and she strongly hates me as well. She sees me as her biggest enemy. She has repeatedly driven me to being suicidal with d words of her mouth, I fight dat everyday. One time tho I almost failed in that struggle and when I ws rescued, she tormented me n sounded it to my ears hw I was better off dead. Right nw I got a job far away from home, its been months and never hs she called to find out hw I am coping. Instead she laughs at how I'm suffering and begging for money to settle down. I encourage n strengthen myself everyday but I don't knw how I can ever forgive her of all d pain, hurt and bitterness she caused me.
ReplyDelete@Olanna. My dear release ur self of that hate. I know it can be so difficult becos its your mom who's hurting u. A mom who by every standard and authority given by God should be the one to safeguard you from harm and hurts, but alas, she seems to be the 'enemy' within.
DeleteHowever dear, I believe you will excel, yes you will. My own mother also has a mom (my grandma) who didn't love or care about her as such. At some point in her life, when her dad was the one showing all the love and care, made sure my mom went to school etc, her mom would talk down at her efforts and insult both my grandpa (of blessed memories) and my mom. She would shrug and hiss at them, she even told my mom to drop out of school to learn a trade when her father had an accident at work and couldn't pay her school fees for just one term.
My mom who is her first child is today her sole benefactor. If she doesn't see my mother she cannot eat. The house she lives in today was built for her by my mom. See life? But As christians we are told to revere out parents no matter the ill they may have done or are still doing to us.
I remember once, somebody asked, "what if my mother is a witch and the cause of my struggles in life, am I to love her still"? The answer is YES. Don't ask me why, only God understands his reasons for insisting on it. God has given our parents the powers to curse and to bless us with their hearts and tongues. The efficacy and the authorities given them over us is astounding and no one can contend with it. Same with when u have ur own kids. Need I say Olanna, brush aside ur mother's thots while u scale tru the hurdles of life. Make sure that you excel while she's still alive to watch what God has done in urlife without her.
You wouldn't need to curse or say much, when that day comes, your success will force her to her knees to reckon with God, that is if the thot of ur success alone doesn't kill her with guilty conscience. Rather than find an adversary in ur mom, find in her a challenge of life that's inevitable and that'll propel u to greatness. Trust me, such victories as urs will end a sweet one. Later your life will be an encyclopedia for your children to learn from. Same way I myself has/is learning from my mother's. Godspeed my dear!
Thank you so much Mrs Zulu. I try everyday to kill those feelings. As I am away from her I am much happier. I know we shall reconcile our differences soon, I also pray about it. Thanks again for your words of wisdom.
Delete@Olanna just be stronge. I feel like crying for you cos It pains when your own parents are your enemies. Thank God you'v got a job away from them, I would advise you still try and make peace with them, help them in a little way you can, believe what they put you through makes you stronger and whom you are, forgive them, call them but give them distance. Parents are the only people you can't win war against. Find a way of being at peace with them (its hard in some instances) and God who determines our destinies will handle the rest. Its well.
Deletei bless GOD for this blog
ReplyDeleteI bless GOD for ds ''topic''
I took my time ds evening after meal,,,i read all comments
At the end,,,,i realise that,,,,we all hv been ''hurt'' one way or the other
But pls,,,above all....
To err is human,,,and forgiveness is ''divine''
Forgiven those that hurts u,,,it takes the GRACE of GOD
GOD help us all.
##thanks for sharing ya'all,,have learnt alot##
3 years only? How about people who stay for 10 years before having their first child? men...
ReplyDeletebreak up with him. The earlier the better. If he is cheating on you now, what will happen after your marriage? And he left you outside around midnight! no caring man will do that
ReplyDeletesweet story
ReplyDeletegirls, choose your husband wisely. Dont just marry any dick and harry. Save yourselves the future heartache
ReplyDeletechoi
ReplyDeletetake heart. Shit happens. God will vindicate u one day
ReplyDeleteplease forgive him. You are not God. One day, God will teach him a lesson. I have noticed a trend. Many Guys who sleep around always look for a virgin to marry so she will raise their children up well while he continues to sleep around. May God not give me such a miscreant for a husband
ReplyDeleteGod has forgiven you for worst things so forgive her
ReplyDeleteTo err is human, to forgive is not Bloglord's policy.
ReplyDelete#straight face
i wish you had given him a deep cut with that knife :)
ReplyDeletedat boyfriend needs otapiapia
ReplyDeleteJeez!!!
ReplyDeleteWomen/ladies!!! beware of guys who follow you for your money. It is a common trend now. Some follow you because they feel you have connection and after getting what they want, they walk out of your life and leave you with a broken heart. MAKE WISE CHOICES!!!
ReplyDeleteout of curiosity, what kind of pleasure do gay people get from gay sex that makes them prefer men to women?
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone. I still love an idiot who dumped me years back. But one thing is for sure. Even if he returns and cries blood, i will never agree. He is a FOOL
ReplyDelete4 me I guess is a gift from God. I rarely have friendz dat hurt me and whenever they do I easily tell them 2 thier face and that is it, I 4give but I no dey 4get some since na human I b! In termz of guys, it has alwayz byn my ex bf, we are still friends and I wont say he hurt me, we drifted apart cos he hardly calls even though we are miles apart each other. #Smilyn# If I tell una how long I dey call dyz guy 4 phone ehh... No b say I get d money Ooo! Hahaha... Luv! Na only 200naira I don chop 4 dyz guy hand since all d years wey I know am and na me ask am 4 dat money 4 me and my friend transport fare back 2 our houz but I no dey complain. Hahahahaa... Even wit d distance I was faithful 101% and honestly I cant say for him but then I still respect him cos he didnt take advantage of me been naive, thank God my thing still dey intact and as e be, e be lyk say I go carry my thing go grave datz if I no marry. Lolzzz... Bottom line is it wasnt meant 2 b and in his own case I had 2 do serious fastyn and prayer 2 stop thinking about him cos I luv dyz guy sincerly die! #Laughz# yea I fasted and prayed! To make it easier I began 2 pray 4 him and my pains went away, til date I still pray 4 him, his wife and his son, little fynbobo. Years later I began 2 understand y we were never meant 2b and sometymz when I think about it I smile and say Thank You Jesus 4 everything. Indeed God alone knows d best. Dont get me wrong he is doing very very well just that God has separate plans 4 us. If u are hurt or are in pains cos of any situation just take it 2 God in prayer, pray 4 him or her. I know is very hard sometimes but honestly Jesus Christ understands and he will take d hurts and pains away. One luv!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm known as the peacemaker,even when I hear stuffs about me I don't bother asking or defending myself cos I'm like why give myself headache?2months ago I found out that my flatmate that I 've been living together with for 5yrs has been the one spreading stories about me,insulting me,saying all manner of stuffs about me.worst part she has been saying its another of my friend,just dey paint the girl black and blue.lawa come gas when she talk the last one.the girl she has been accusing came to me and told me'see what your roomate told me'I'm like its not possible,it can't be.I was advised to just ask for asking sake.
ReplyDeleteI asked infront of the accused and found out my flatmate of five years has actually been the ONE!!I was too shocked to move,I have so much hatred in my heart for her and I know deep down I will never forgive her.
And I'm too happy cos she's been engaged for years no marriage,KARMA BITCH!!!
If u think ppl will not cheat on you or do you wrong in life,then you are a big time JOkER!
ReplyDeleteWrongs that people do to you wl definitely hurt badly bt u must realise d greatest hurt does nt come frm d bad ppl rather it comes from you!You!..You kp d grudge.You kp d hate,d bitterness,u kp reminding urself of the hurt.You kp looking at d bad side of ppl and u wana be happy???C'mon ppl,LET'S GROW UP.4gv and let go.
LG....Life is good
To forgive aint that easy...but in my case I do forgive easily..I'm a very open minded person that understands that ppl are bound to fuck u up at anytime...everyone should pray for a forgiving spirit cos that's the only way u cn forget ur hurt n move on
ReplyDeleteAnon 72@6.07 my heart is full of gold with sense of humor but lazy one is not welcome and selfish person please.
ReplyDeleteI dey come...I go comment under anonymous...Its the story of my Life!
ReplyDelete@4:56,,,,are. Related to d nwanneri's???? He's 4rm ngorkpala in imo state......him no even know where dem bury d chelsea baby till date,na one yoruba girl born d pikin 4ram.chai d babe saw hell.......abeg make I stop here tory plenty
ReplyDeleteMen are very wicket and only God will juage them. I went throgh alot in the hands of guys until dis last he realy no me very wel he no wat i pass thro in live dat an an orphan but he stil hav the hart to hurt me i find out resently dat he had a child wit another woman n they r stil together
ReplyDeleteStella Godbles u . U rock!!!. For me I mind the way I love n I ve tortured my self dat anythg dat happens durin a relatonship after lk 3wks am done wit the heart break. Ladies u ought 2 b strong n wise at the same tym. Check the signs n dnt b carried away. Lastly neva tie ur happines to any man # 4m verde
ReplyDeleteHmmm hearing all dis ..don't even knw whr to strt from..in ma 1st year I met dis guy ..we strtd dating in 2011..I was still a V den..told him I didn't want sex..he was pressuring me at 1st..den he stopped...till 2012 I neva slept with dis guy cos I had a good plan for ma self! Unknowingly to me he was cheating wt 1 ugly chic like dat cos of sex! I meet dis gal arnd ma house whr I stay nd she walks in d company of 2gals whyl I walk in d company of guys..they always look at me wt so much hate I didn't get what was happening until during easter break 2012..1 of ma neighbor now told me when we were gisting dat how stupid can I be..didn't I knw ma bf was going out wt d gal..I was like lailai..it got to a point I sent a msg to ma bf on that same day to ask him if he's going out wt d gal..he didn't reply so he came to ma house late in d night..I asked him he couldn't lie again..I was so broken cos I respect him so much..I don't go to parties or even mingle cos he doesn't want! I sha went for ma easter break oooo..na only God knw wetin enta me as I return to skul lik dis..na with hatred of d highest order! I might not pick his calls for weeks nd he'll b beggin me to flash him bk if I c his calls! I even gave him grace to break up wt d gal within 2weeks he didn't! I was arguing wt him den nd he made 1 statement dat 'do u think she's nt complaining too' ..all dose things dawned on me ooo..I was just 20 so I didn't knw wat to do..I sha strtd giving attitude frm dat april to march dis year he kept callin lik he's ma guy ..beggin me dat he wants me bk and wants to open up to me so dat dere won't b secret..in d end he nw said he has a son! Choii..wetin I knw for ma age..told him no p nau let's continue but ma mind no dey d thing again...just whylin away time whyl dating som1 else ooo..no beta way to hurt him dat to waste his tym!
ReplyDeletefew years ago, in my final year in university i went through a lot. infact, for a period of almsot 2 years everyone i kept trusting kept hurting me. even when i think i have found a saviour and pour out my heart, the person will do worse than what i said the other person did. i was so hurt and sad and lonely. i started to think i had a problem.
ReplyDeletei deviced a plan, i cut off from everyine. friends, boyfriends, ex boyfriends, toasters. then i stopped trusting too much. yes! i decided to get so defensive, and watch who actually wants to break through the film. i also stopped talking too much about myself, my plans, and opening up to people. right now, i can say i have people around me who are worth it. very few indeed, but ive watched and seem that they truly have good hearts. no gossip, no backstabbing, ready to help and selfless. and all my fake ex-associates are hearing about how well im sailing and are wanting to come back. so, my advice is that: when too many people are upsetting you all at d same time, dont let them cause u to sin out of bitterness. just move on and change ur associations, be more vigilant about who comes into your life. you will chase fake people away. sometimes look inward. you might be your own weakness. accept ur faults and work on your personailties.
sorry for those who have been hurt by spouses. being single for a while actually helps you step back and see the situation from afar. perharps you also didnt apply wisdom when you saw signs. Lean on God, he will help you go through the pain.
i was 20 then,he was 28.he never knew my age cos pple always think im 23/24.i met him on one of my sad days and during my 'i will never love again vows'. we started dating, i held off for a months before i finally gave into sex.we were like best friends.alwasys together.along the line i spelt smthng fishy and asked,he came out clean that he has this babe he has been dating for a while but she doesnt live in naija plus their parents merged them so hes not really into the girl.he even said he was gonna travel nd set thngs straight with the babe cos he was no longer interested.after he got back, i noticed he wasnt picking my calls as he used to, i asked again, he confessed that the babe was around nd he was tryng to sort it out w/o causing family issues.cut long story short, one day he came to see me,stayed up to 12am outside my aus,net morning a babe called me."sorry,are u jane?" i answer "yes". she says "im wole's wife" that was as if smone hit me wit a trailer.he was married to the girl and dey had a one yr old. i wept for days.i told my guy friend about the incident after much persuation bout wat was wrong with me.he was always dere for me.my friends adviced me to date his since hes been asking me out for a long time.i tried tellng them he was ugly nd not my type. after giving it sm thoughts,i agreed.fastforward months later,i found out he had a fiancee all along.hes been disturbing me to 4give him nd i av.bt will never 4get these 2 guys.sorry 4 my epistle
ReplyDeleteforgiveness is when you set a prisoner free and later discovers that you are that prisoner. So forgive and forget
ReplyDeleteAfter graduating, I got preggie for a banker I was dating then, d guy denied pregnancy, but the parents accepted me. He wanted abortion, I told him its okay by me if he doesn't want to marry, but the pregnancy is our responsibility so he shud sit up and accept it. I told him abortion is not an option, as at then, I was 28 years old and a graduate so I had no excuse to commit such. I went thru hell! Used all my savings to cater for d preggie and later d child. But that's not d hurting part. The most hurting part is that my younger sister used that incident to make life miserable for me. One would think a sibling is supposed to support at such a miserable time but No! She would go behind me and tell my friends 'Now d innocent one is pregnant, but me d wayward one is yet to get preggie out of wedlock'.
ReplyDeleteHaving a child out of wedlock was not as hurting as one's sibling jubilating at one's misery. No work! No assistance from anywhere! With God though, I got by and pple thot my hubby was abroad. Whenever any of her friends come visiting and they tell her they like her sister (me), that am nice and homely, she will use that point to tell my life history. It wasn't long when I started hearing my life history from every Tom, Dick and Harry. She would buy shoes & clothes worth thousands of naira, she never for one day spared 1k to assist, not that I expected such from her anyway cos she's very much younger (8 years younger).
The shame was just too much for me, I had to leave home for another city to start afresh. I left home with my baby with 2k, with tears in my eyes. Today, I thank God! Leaving home was d best decision I've ever made in my life. Now am happily married, and a successful business woman. However, my sister too is married. She relocated to the same state I left home for. Her mother in law who took liking to me, she made sure she fed her with this sore story of mine just to tarnish my reputation. It really hurt, cos its like picking at a sore wound over and over. Funny thg is, whenever she has marital issues, she comes running to me, as per big sister, to pour out her mind. I render listening ears but I don't share my marital stories with her except d sweet part.
In my mind though, I find it hard to forgive and forget. I know she's my blood and am supposed to let go of the past, but anytime I remember what she did in d past, I get filled up with rage and d urge to revenge. Ironically, she expects me to keep her marital issues secret, as if she does that to me. I wish she will just stop burdening me with secrets. Yes! Secrets are burden to me.
B4 i married my hubby,i rendered so many financial assistance to him cos i had a better financial stand dan him.after we got married,i wasnt working while he was working.he made me suffer so much,i was almost close to rags,i went witout food so manytimes,yet he was living d good life. thank God for my parents who were dere for me. Today i hav a good job&earn more dan him.i still find it so hard to forgive and forget and bcos of dat,i hardly help him financially.
ReplyDelete