Hi Stella and Blog visitors,
I met a lady while in the university, we didn't date but I made my intention known to her.
she didn't stay long before she left for overseas to finish her studies. fast forward to 2011,we met again and we started a relationship immediately .
we had our introduction early dis year.I was jobless when we got back again but she spoke with her dad and the man set up a business for me to manage,we live in the same city but not together cos her religion forbids us staying together before the wedding but we see often.
Now after the intro I noticed some strange behaviour from her ,like she doesn't respect me,she'll talk to me anyhow in public,very aggressive ,she gets angry easily,she's not proud of me becos she wouldn't want me to attend any of her family functions with her etc.
she's from a popular family.now its not that I'm bad looking,I was once a model.I met another lady like a month ago through an old friend,I thought I could just use her to kill boredom and while away time but I was wrong.she happens to be a very good and lovely girl,very fun to be with and a wife material.she's based in south Africa but we met during her last visit to Nigeria.
Now this lady is very much in love with me and she's very serious about settling down.I like her too because she's kind and very humble.now back to my fiance,my business is not going on well again and i am so broke right now to d extent that I live off her,she feeds me,gives me little money once in a while' even to the extent of paying for my BB subscription in the last 2months.
I know she's not happy in the relationship becos i am not the type her family expects to marry, Am also not happy too cos I have lost all my self respect.she cheated on me sometime ago and her reason was that she doesn't know what the future holds for both of us,although she later blamed it on the devil.
The lady in south Africa is trying to get me over to her base so that we can start a new life there.she's very okay too and she's already promised to get me a job too as soon as I get there. Please Stella ,I don't want to marry out of pity. should I just quit the relationship with my fiance and go and start another life with this other lady?
please advice me.I am so confused.
*she cheated on you?both of you cheated on each other.
*what makes you think the one in SA will not change after your financial burden becomes too heavy?
*The father might have invested in you to test you,now your business is bad and you are broke..bad omen.
*Are you lazy?
Why don't you sit your wife to be down and have a heart to heart talk?that will help you make up your mind,tell her how her actions make you feel.tell her your fears.her reaction will help your make up your mind faster.good luck.
Lazy man that's what you are! Forget both ladies and get castrated! Gold digger oshi!
ReplyDeleteThis man is a gigolo, he has ruined d rich girl n hurt her family, now he wants to run away and start living off another woman. Thank God d poor girl hasnt married u and am sure d biz went under cos u wr spending the money on other girls. Please get a job and stop looking for a woman to take care of u.
DeletePoster, get lost - You are a shameless gold digger!!!
DeleteKwakwakwakwakwa! That girl! Wicked much
DeleteI actually feel sorry for the woman that will end up with you cos in my opinion,u are not a man in the real sense of it!
DeleteImagine the fool!
DeleteYou wanted to use another woman to chase away boredom eh kwa?
Instead of to think of how to "better" ur lazy and selfish behind..
Ok na boredom don chase you. You go see Oba for SA..
Lazy man. I hate laziness. Why won't you lose self respect?
ReplyDeleteRunning from pillar to post looking for where it is sweet. Onye ori. Tiff.
feel what women feel. This is how women feel almost all the time. A woman gives you everything and you turn around and sting her with useless behaviours. Now table has turned you're crying. My advice, stay there and suffer. Ewu. Most men are badly behaved. This should be every bad mans portion. He should relinquish his balls to the woman.
Inshort I like all the comment unu gwatalianya ofuma.men of nowadays have turn to obiangeli.lazy man go and struggle biko melu onwe gi ebele onye ori
DeleteYou've said it all julit. Mchew
DeleteGood advice Stella!
ReplyDeleteStella said it all
DeleteWhen you say you dont want to marry out of pity, which of them may you be marrying out of pity? Cos it seems to me that you are the one to be pitied. Anyway, my take is that you take a minute, step back and start from the point where you find your feet as a man. That is the only time you can make an informed decision. Get a job, get ur life and pride in one piece, then find a wife. You cant move from being a liability to being a liability
ReplyDeleteThank you for this comment. To think he wants to relocate to South Africa to be a burden to another woman. Gosh I have no word for you Mister.
DeleteBelledazzy.blogspot.com
Annie you hit the nail right on the head.
DeleteGo and get a freaking life.
Mr Pity Pity!
Stella, I second ur opinion jare. GBAM!
ReplyDeleteI think u forget about this women for now n focus on getting ur biz back on track or look for a better job.When u r financial stable other things will fall in to place.
ReplyDeleteI pitied ur situation till I got to the SA lady part, I think u just need an excuse to move on to ur new meal ticket since ur present on is tired and u've exhausted ur ticket(business) get a Job young Man!gather ur self respect back before thinking of starting a new relationship, a man should be able to take care of his woman, "marry out of pity"? Indeed! Please do ur Fiancee a favour and dump her, make sure u start earning Money b4 u toast another girl, a girl that ppays ur BIS might love u but she won't respect u much, and she would be bitter if it goes on for too long. BTW ur father in law to be is a very good man, when u start working give him his money back and buy him wine.
ReplyDeleteExactly! Only a matter of time before the SA lady will find his lazy behind out.
DeleteMeanwhile the only thing that qualifies u a man is ur dangling dick, from all indication. That ur dick is the only contention that u have with these women.
****I once dated a guy who was jobless like you. I am one of the few ladies who wouldn't mind to help salvage her man's financial situation if need be. But never bcos am desperate or I don't want the man to leave me. But u see, when u are known with a man u are dating, u'll do anything to cover his nakedness in public bcos if he is shamed u are shamed too. But some men misconstrue it that u want to keep them at all cost, or that u are passive.
**Anyway I used to render whatever I could for this man, but suddenly, he started to irritate me.
See, no matter how blinded and in love u are with a man, when what should normally be his responsibility becomes urs, its only a matter of time before ur heart becomes weary...subconsciously. This was the case with my ex. And the worst part of it is that he started to play mind games with words.. saying..."Oh so u are behaving like this bcos u gave me this or that"...and I hated that with a passion.
***So times that I should have genuinely reprimanded him for his wrong doings, I would keep it inside bcos I didn't want him to say those things again. So my behavior towards him became unnatural. For as long as I could hold up the pretense, I did.
**Of cos the relationship frizzeled out. So don't come here to talk about that poor lady being disrespectful and all, I can relate to her dilemma and it is YOU who has the mega issue.
As for the lady in SA, every single lady who lives abroad will tell u that they can be very lonely sometimes. So when some of them hit luck to find a man who gives them abit of attention like YOU, I tell u, they'll resurrect and migrate him even from the grave to their location just so they don't die of boredom. Any cry will do for a burial.
The same boredom that u attributed to be the reason u started off a relationship with the SA lady in the first place, is the same boredom that is compelling her also to import u to SA. So boredom don jam boredom.
***Whoever tires first between u two, will determine where ur next meal will come from nigger. But I am sure she'll be the one to invalidate u ike 'June12' before u realize it. Don't try to play smart!
Mrs Zulu, don't I just love u!
DeleteThis dude sounds like he is the problem. He is living off all these women and he has the mouth to complain. The wife doesn't respect him because he can't even run tbe business that her father started for him. Honestly, he would be doing her a good favor by moving on. And with the girl in SA, that relationship will fissle out the moment he gets there abd she figures him out. This guy sounds like a looser. Women, approach with caution.
ReplyDeleteSince she is d man of d house...
ReplyDeleteShez doing wat a typical man wud do...
Feed u...
Clothe u...
And..of cos.
CHEAT on u!!!
U wud hav done exactly d same if roles wr reversed..
U r just a tout looking for wr d grass is greener and simpler!!
D S.A lady must be older and desperate!!
Chase on...
Gold digger!!
Billie jean
He cheated on his fiancee even when she was feeding n clothing him. A true asshole indeed. May God deliver us from such men.
DeleteMr. Poster,
ReplyDeleteU are a leech, u love to live off wmen. D disrespect wey u collect for naija neva do u. U need an 'INTERNATIONAL HUMILIATION'.
Plz go to SA, and send us anoda 'story dat brings tears'. Tanx in anticipation.
LOL DAMMMM !!!!!!! Una don finish dis guy!
DeletePoster of life!!
DeleteU no think this ya mata well before u come open ya yash for SDKers...
Ntoiii...
Tommorrow come post another tori make we for sorry for u.
Ewu south Africa. They take u do pepper soup when u get there.
Lazy man!!!
Well,I concur wt wat stella said.u v to shw d man(ur intended father-in-law) dt u r nt al dt useless esp nw ur business z in backward movement by gettin bak on ur feets,doin wat real men do in such situation.bt u runnin away wt d SA wman wil shw dt u r a real gold-digger,reapin wia u didn't sow.v a serious discussion wt ur wman so dt u guys wil offsets d differences dt r nw in motion.Bt u can @d same tym keep d other wman in waitin so dt u won't loose @both ends wen d later didn't wrk out as planned.For d mean tym,focus more on hw to invest on ursef dan dependin on oda pple's fortunes.As a model,u can build ur modelling career,dz wil put food on ur table and I blv dos wmen wil b more pleased to notice dt u r valuable.Avoid seethling any of d wmen mst esp d one dt picked u up wen u wia nobody.Think twice b4 u choose.Enjoy dz road-map,I blv u wil find ur true identity.Tanx
ReplyDeleteAnnon 12.46, Can you please write good English? Your sentences are just horrible. Thank you
Delete@ JJ,its true, all these 'z' "dz" are so annoying!
DeleteMscheeewww (long African woman type teeth-kissing)
Aunty tella н̣̣̇̇̇αv̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣ said ΐτ̅ all.
ReplyDeleteU are a lazy man n ur speciality is living off women, u see ur life now? Better go n get a job or get serious in ur business. Obviously d business ur gf's gave u was used to chase girls around town n form big boy n now u are broke n looking for d next available way out, pueh! Shame on u, **claps hand, market woman style **. We know ur type. Stella he is a typical runs boy tins. Using ur acclaimed good looks to scam hardworking women. U will not see heaven!. Amen.
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahahaha! Omfg! U crack me up. Hahahahahaha! Best comment on here. Very true tho. Runs boy looooool
DeleteYour are simply a gold digger dats all. Looking for where its rosy if ur biz nt goin well I wld expect dat shld be ur major concern and how to fend for urself since thats d reason ur relationship is nt going well but instead u want to get into another relationship that looks like d woman is going to be d breadwinner. It might end up like d first one cos if worse case scenario she cant get u d job and she starts taking care of you my dear u will be a burden and u start irritating her. Work things out with d first one cos ur laziness is getting to her trust me but if it doesn't work u can nw move to d oda one.
ReplyDeleteDude, take it from me, you are a lazy man! How come you are looking to women to find solace? As big as Nigeria is you can't find something to do for yourself. Why are you tying your survival to women? Get your lazy arse up and be a MAN! Nonsense!!!
ReplyDeleteThnks jare..I lov Ūя̲̅ coment..I hate lazy men
DeleteNonsense!
ReplyDeleteAbeg leave your poor fiance alone and carry your laziness to wherever you please.
Shame no they catch you. You accepted your future FIL set up a business for you((what a nice man, you aren't even married to his daughter!). Then you had the audacity to run it to the ground. You are still shameless enough to continue living off the poor woman afterwards. You have no iota of shame.
I'm not surprised she doesn't respect you. How can she? You are a terrible parasite. And you are using her money to cheat with your SA girl. I hope your Fiance dumps your lazy arse before you decide to move on to your next victim. Why aren't I surprised you are an ex model? Faworaja oshi! Alainitiju! Onijekuje!
Dude is just a lazy sod living off women. He knows he won't get another investment from his fiancee so he wants to use the new woman to travel to SA.
ReplyDeleteIs this story comedy or serious stuff? How can stella share this stupid story. Well I was about sleeping, let me get back to that. #sealed lips#
ReplyDeleteEka
Gold digger! Dig on...I have no advice for you.
ReplyDeletethese are the gold diggers toke makinwa was talking about on her blog. woman wrapper na him you be. thank u stella jara for you said it all.
ReplyDeleteezechimereuchenna.blogspot.com
Lazy gigolo. See your thought pattern sef. #Amoiruyin.com#. Hissssss
ReplyDeleteEverything is wrong with this guy. You sound like an opportunist. First and foremost, you seem not to know what is right or wrong about you, hence you're blaming the lady's *escapades* on your shortcomings."her religion forbids us staying together before the wedding...", please which religion promotes a man and woman living together before wedding? "she's not happy in the relationship becos i am not the type her family expects to marry..." Yet her father gave you a capital to kick-off something. "She cheated on me...", and what were you doing with onye SA? Playing apele? Ok. Guy, let me spell it out for you: YOU ARE LAZY, SELF RIGHTEOUS, AND SELFISH. Be religious and change your ways. A word is enough for the wise.
ReplyDeleteGbam, Gbamer, Gbamest comment so far.
DeleteGuy, ur fellow man don tell u oo. Make e no be say d women get bad bele for u.
Help urself abeg and stop being lazy and irresponsible.
That ur fiancé must realy love u.
And you don fall her hand wella for her family. How she no go shame for u???
Oga please don't leave your girlfriend please. Do your self a favour and get your business back on track. No let another woman disrespect you cos of money mata o.
ReplyDeleteBtw is the SA lady that pompous girl that calls herself Lemonade Lake?
Oga please don't leave your girlfriend please. Do your self a favour and get your business back on track. No let another woman disrespect you cos of money mata o.
ReplyDeleteBtw is the SA lady that pompous girl that calls herself Lemonade Lake?
Mtcheew! Foolish man! You can cheat on her but she has no right to cheat on you??? Olodo! Lazy man!
ReplyDeleteI quite agree wif u stella, u need to get ur act right; focus in getting a job, u shld av asked ur father inlaw to help get a job rather than business. U need to stop leaving off women and mind u, there's no job in SA except u want to do drugs or arm robbery. Both my cousins ran back home afta spending some time there. SA is no option.
ReplyDeleteI see an emerging pattern.You ve planned to be a kept man. We can talk from here to jericho and nothing will change your mindset. Please go to SA and get the continental version of the treatment you re receiving here.who knows? From there(fingers crossed) you upgrade your 'levels' to the united states for the international revised version.A rich nurse sounds lucrative. Kai! Some mothers really do have em!
ReplyDelete@ Wide Eyed You always make sense with all your comments. And u sound extremely mature and experienced. Your comments always stand out. Keep it up
DeleteI love wide eyed!
Delete(no homo) ...
You should be ashamed, you're moving on from a woman who feeds, clothes... Etc to another who's going to do the same? Have you lost all sense of pride? If it were a woman who was doing the same thing you'd call her a gold digger, get your sorry ass up and find meaningful employment for yourself, you can't take care of yourself and you want to marry? When the kids start coming and she sleeps with other men to pay the bills you will mail Stella and call your wife a witch. Stay away from women till you can provide for yourself and others.
ReplyDeleteStella, you've said it all.. Dude, no woman will respect you as long as you feed off her. The south african babe may show you love now, but trust me, the tables will turn once you become an item.. Become a real man, sort out your finances and leave relationships alone for now..
ReplyDeleteMadam Stella, u hit d nail on d head. I shake my head for dis dude. I don't know y guys of today are just too lazy and want to feed off women, where is d dignity in dat? I pity u, u want to jump from fry pan to fire. Niger where u dey, u neva balance, na south africa u wan come run go. Na u go run come back. What do u tink will happen wen it is d woman dat pays d bills in d house? read pastor Femi Fasheru's book(married but living single) den u will understand. Mr man, u r d problem. Dust ur behind and get something to do. Start being d man u r supposed to be so u can get ur respect back. U see woman wey d papa wan help u and u r messing up. If u go south africa, wetin ur eye go see, u no go fit talk am. Let those dat have ears listen.
ReplyDeleteLazy boi!
ReplyDeleteHope u also wash her undies?else u never start!
U need to go and struggle like other men,if not this is the beginning of ur sorrows.
The guy de make me laugh "I don't want to marry out of pity" story! Abi na u dem wan marry out of pity.
ReplyDeleteBuahahahahaha...reverse psychology. Lazy man! Don't get out there and fend for yourself. Cross leg de find who go set u up, clothe n feed u. You need to be flogged to your senses.
luca's type of woman. hahahahahahahaha
ReplyDeletethese comments are so funny im sure after today hs life will never remain d same.how do women get attracted to jobless men? #okbye
ReplyDeleteMy dear, it's a big turnoff @ jobless men! ...EEE!!!
DeleteLol this guy own don finish! U wrote to stella and her warriors? What do u expect? A pat on the back? You ate definitely a lazy dude. Model oshi! Pls stop living on and extorting women.
ReplyDeleteMr man u need deliverance
ReplyDeleteAbeg the sender name na Tyrone? Coz this guy sound like am ex model I know who was telling some bad things about hez gf just to get me to pity......guy no know say I correct waffy pikin. Stupid ass gold digger u better find a job.
ReplyDeleteThe posters on here have said it all, if really u sent this, u r a very confident lazy man. Go get urself a job!
ReplyDeleteStupid boy, go look for work first! You violated the first principle already..living off a woman.
ReplyDeleteAll dis for one person, laff wan scater my brain. U pple should take it easy with him, hungry dey catch am when him send these write up to stella, make una no worry d guy don chop, by now his brain don clear.
ReplyDeleteU all shuld stop cussing dis guy.God will not come down to help u.he ll cause someone to do so.no big deal in helping out ur to be husband if he's broke.no big deal at all..they say behind every sucessful man is a woman.
ReplyDeleteSuspect. Laziness na terminal illness u hear?
DeleteGod will use person help u,who de talk dat one.prayer of a lazy man.
DeleteGold digger, jigolo, thief, sugar boy.......get off your lazy backside and get a job....no right thinking babe will respect you...
ReplyDeleteGold digger alert! From Nigeria to south Africa then maybe US. Better get a job and stop deceiving desperate women with your so called good looks. You started a relationship with another woman and still have the guts to say she cheated on you mchew. Pls get a life. Lazy man.
ReplyDeleteBelledazzy.blogspot.com
the devil you know is better than the angel you don't.
ReplyDeleteIn my own case,I support my spouse financially,spiritually n physically..he has a good job yet I still support him financially. he wuld run to me whenever he had problems..can't remember the last time he gave me money or bought me something good or gave me a nice treat. Recently,I discovered he gives money freely to some babes n even trips them out.can u imagine?I've stopped being stupid n I dnt evn respect him anymore..he's stl begging for forgiveness n am nt ready to have him back..Guys are heartless.I've come to realise that.I dnt blame the babe fr disrespecting this poster,I strongly believe there's more to the story which he isn't telling.
ReplyDeleteDiary of a very lazy man. Yawns
ReplyDeleteDiary of a lazy man.
ReplyDelete@stella tanks 4 d advice,guy u jobless and oblivious an NFA.mitcheeeeeeeewwwww
ReplyDeleteGuy, I wish I were you. Enjoy joor, leave bad belle people...... You're not the people that commands good things to your way.
ReplyDeletehonestly, i no pity this guy. Many men in the girl's shoes would have done worse. Let him taste what 99% of men in this world do to women. Ntuooo giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!
ReplyDeletehe is a gold digger. since you dey find woman wey get money to marry instead of struggling to make ends meet, come let me marry u and give u U.S. citizenship so we can go to America together. Oloshi
ReplyDeletemehn, your husband needs 99 strokes of koboko. Imagine that!
ReplyDeleteI nid an advice plz.My colleague in my office threatened to beat me up today.This is someone I call my friend.Recently my bf gave a car n a driver cause he has been transferred out of town and wants me to be comfortable.My boo loves me n never fails to express it to me n I tell her everything.My bosses dots on me and makes it obvious they prefer me to her.I'm a young lady below 25 but I'm very intelligent,classy and pretty.I don't know if its jealousy or something else .she has been acting strange recently that my boss almost sacked her yesterday cause she was shouting on me irrespective of the fact that customers were there.Today she threatened to beat me up cause she raised her voice @me and i told her I didn't have time for lousy people.I had to tell my boss that I nided to go home early after closing my account for the day cause I wasn't feeling fine.Na so I carry my bag run comot for office before she go beat me up after work ooo cause me I know I don't have the energy to fight.This is someone I pick every morning n drop off after work evryday.the last time someone threatened to beat me was when I was in primary school.I try as much as possible to avoid arguments cause me I know I can't fight.abeg make una advice me on what to do cause me I don't understand where this whole hatred and beef is coming from.abeg no mind my grammatical error oo.I dey vex that's why.
ReplyDeleteShe can't try it! Is she mad? Arrange with some policemant and get her arrested if she tries anything funny. Its like she knows you are too gentle
DeleteMeanwhile cut her loose. Don't respond to her threats or insults. Ignore her completely.
You sef, I hope you have not been carrying yourself arrogantly in the office to have gotten that kind of reaction from someone you call your friend?
"He whom the benevolent gods have cracked his palm kernels should not forget to be humble"
DeleteIf this is how you sound in real life, I'm surprised you haven't been slapped by several people already.
See how you are praising yourself. Everybody loves only you! Pele o. You have not even bought a car yourself o, arrogance no gree you rest.
Change your ways and bring down your shoulders
My Dear, clear case of Jealousy, Just avoid her totally, since u don't have energy for wahala, Apologise to her for calling her lousy and clear mind, then AVOID her, don't tell her stuff about u, ur BF, your happiness, Nothing,after ur Good Morning,hi hi, give her space.
DeleteLazy man..keep going frm woman to woman..
ReplyDeleteDear poster :-) it's HILARIOUS how you think you're doing anyone a favour. Aswear your laziness is SPIRITUAL. Hehehehehe..... You are a complete disgrace!!!.
ReplyDeleteDamn!!! I love SDK readers.
Abeg where is busy body corrector. We need her back oooooooooooo
ReplyDeleteGuy, i don't know what to say to you. Are you a man or a toddler? with your i don't wanna marry out of self pity, i have been a model before bla bla bla! whining like a baby. I pray the two women will read your posts here and give you the boot. You are supposed to be hustling for them and not vice versa,i feel you are a gold digger.
ReplyDeleteLook for a job first,be a man and respectful women will seek u.Forget about relationship for now.
ReplyDeleteWhat planet is this guy from? How would you expect a woman that feeds you to respect you?
ReplyDeleteWhere is the respect coming from? Her father set up a business for you and you couldn't even make a success of it. And then, you come on the internet to tell is how she doesn't respect you.
Are you even a man at all? No you are not....and please get the fuck out of here. Run to South Africa and you will surely get disrespected and even ridiculed by your new woman.
Fucking gigolo!
Hahahaha! You dare not fuck with SDK readers. They could be very sweet and warm with their advice and they can also fist on you too if u are not careful. Rotfl
ReplyDeleteMy opinion - BE A MAN.
ReplyDeleteTake responsibility of your life. Take action. Decide what to do and begin to do it. Stop trying to live off the women in your life...they'd only lose respect for you. Make an effort. A woman can help, but she's not meant to head.
I suggest you first fix your life and then you make a choice which of the ladies you truly love.
God bless u for this comment
ReplyDeleteHaba!!! Dude needs ur advice and u guys should do that instead of criticising him. He has done wrong I agree. Don't be too harsh on d dude pls, Its just gonna make people who needs advice keep quiet n continue their wrong doing. Dude I advice you sit urself down, figure out what u wanna do (job) n make a move on it. No matter how bad or worse the situation is things will definitely get better with time and when it does u can go in search of ur partner and you will earn ur respect back. Just for her to see you are struggling to be a man might be enough for her to respect u, she might not even need to wait till u r able to stand firm on ur feet. U want respect then earn it as a man.
ReplyDeleteI think I know who this guy is, a former model, he is also a tailor abi na designer. Babanla good digger, run. For ur life. OJB is. His initials or ODJB, very stupid guy, even his mum is an iya oko bournvita, they actually expect you to feed them, he can buy engagement ring, lives in surulere near marsha. This guy can never be rich in his life
ReplyDelete