Some ladies are still single by choice and not because they cannot find husbands,some decide to even go a step further to become baby mama's and that does not make them less of a human being.Some are happy just dating and cannot stand the stress of marriage.
Surprised?Yes,as sweet as marriage is,it comes with a double edged sword and if you do not use the wisdom of Solomon to operate,it falls apart like a pack of cards.
Yes,because of this some women choose not to go in at all...Some are desperately looking for husbands but they cannot find anywhere,The responsible and single men have all vanished..lol
Whilst some married women keep preaching to single ladies to go and find their own husbands,the single ladies school of thought is that they must not marry and it will happen in God's time.....fine.
Some women are in their fifties and still searching,some are in their twenties and are not even looking..call it different strokes for different folks.....abi?
Now my question is....Where exactly is it stated that A WOMAN MUST get married to be happy?
It is only Nigerians that believe a woman must marry. There is no where that it is stated. Even Paul gave options. We run into marriages with anything(I am referring to both men and women) and end up divorced in less time than it took for us to plan the wedding. I always say if you do not feel it is for you, do not venture into it. I am a married woman BTW and I do not feel it is by force. I hate when other married women look down on single girls. I have learnt that women do that to project their insecurities on others.
ReplyDeleteWhere's d like button?
DeletePls if u want to quote the bible,quote it well. Apostle paul gave options where? He said if U don't want to be married then u must be celibate by not having anything tthing to do with anyone. So all this options u talking abt,I don't know where it came from cos naija gurls don't stay celibate,they jum from one man to the other and then say they don't want to be married So stop quoting wrong scriptures cos u are yet to find a man for urself
DeleteI like ur last 2 sentences, it is true, they look down on single ladies just to cover their insecurities, meanwhile some of them are really wishing they were single again.
Delete@ qutie
DeletePls, if u jump 4m one man to anoda or ur babe left u to jump 4m one man to anoda,
It doesn't mean all naija gals jump arnd.
Celibacy is very possible
I would knw cos I'm practising it
Mind u,
I'm a hopeless romantic nd would love to get married somday
Bt for now
My t**toh has bin padlocked till 'oga' arrives
Paul said that marriage is not necessarily for everyone. Celibacy did not come up. However that should mean that ladies should be promiscous. I was a married lady for 5 years with no kids. I will say that I see those years as wasted years. I am wiser and appreciate life more. But marriage again is the last thing on my mind.
DeleteMarriage isn't compulsory, its the society we live in that makes it looks like it is, even the bible says if u r not ready for the wahala don't get married
ReplyDeleteBible says "if u re not ready for the wahala don't get married" Hmmmm!!! E beru Olorun ooooooo. ..... Your version of the Bible is Epic!
Deletewell.......
ReplyDeleteMe i must marry
And i must be happy
#In Typical 9ja womans voice#
I folo join u biko
DeleteEt moi
DeleteDo lesbians get married too.
DeleteNo man or woman should be alone. Even after God created man, He said it is not good for the man to continue staying alone so He created a woman for him.
ReplyDeleteBut then it is not everyone that is meant to marry. If you think you'll be better of alone then pls don't get but if you feel its important, then by all means get married and again, if you don't find a suitable husband pls remain single.
And if you are the one that is always waiting for Mr Right , just tell Mr left to move to the right.
Like St. Paul implied, it's preferable to stay single and not be distracted in serving God. But if your sexual passion overwhelms you, get married to avoid adulterous acts. Married or Single, nothing do you. God will bless you and make you as happy as you deserve no matter your status. But if you must pro-create, then do it within the institution of Matrimony. Be Blessed.
ReplyDeleteI stopped reading, where u said responsible single men has vanished
ReplyDeleteLol!!! Why e pain u? Becos u are single and responsible abi? Don't mind SDK, they are there!!!
DeleteThe truth is that, its not compulsory to marry true! I am a female n married, I am happy, but there are times when I've considered being single and free and having children outside wedlock! The question however is "is that right?" Am a Christian and I know that this thot is totally wrong and from the pit of hell!!! So while it's not compulsory to get married, if u must remain single then do it right...no fornication, no adultery, no forming "baby momma" things, cos that is totally wrong (at least from most religions/faith esp in Christianitiy)! So don't use the celebs(esp the hollywood and nollywood) as a role model when saying " its not compulsory for women to marry"! Cos everyone gets to stand (for himself or herself )b4 the Judgement throne on the last day. Its appointed unto man once to die and after that Judgement!
Madam, all sin na sin oooo...Not only adulturous people would be judged oooo...
DeleteWindows can be single mothers. Mothers who have been left by their husbands or have left their marriages are single mums. There is no where in the Bible where it states that having a child out of wedlockis a sin "from the pit of hell" as you put it. Are you forgetting that our saviour was concieved outside wedlock? God looks at the contents of our hearts. Humans spend time on pointless issues like this but will lie, steal and kill.
DeleteAfter a marriage filled with adultery and abuse. I plan to be a single mum in a few years. If God decides otherwise then so be it.
Marriage is not a must.Marriage is the most difficult institution and it takes a lot of hard work for it to be successful. I have been married for 6 yr,love being married, but believe marriage should be a choice not a must.
ReplyDeleteShe is pretty,intelligent.humble,hardworking,talanted,spiritual and fertile.Why is she not Married?"...When society starts to moan aloud to a young woman so blessed,she goes into a frenzy.Every male not related to her, suddenly becomes a potential husband.Very concerned close watchers may try to find her a spouse if she's not succeeding on her own in that regard.Finally there's a wedding.Everyone is relieved.If it works out or not,it doesnt matter. Someone has made her honest by law and no more dry fasting and tiresome night vigils;which BTW are easy tasks, compared to the stigma of having an old maiden as daughter. Anyway,we all know how most of those by~ force marriages are faring(fared?). One realistic fact about this topic is that, not Everyone will marry! Want it or not,Not Everyone will marry. To avoid this, some settle for 2nd best,polygamy(against their will am saying),spiritual facade,etc. In the face of all these emergency alternatives, the 21st century~upwardly mobile~been there done that woman,who thinks like a tactician,'jejely' gives birth on her own. Who born you make you nor congratulate am? Some adopt too;which they disclose to all. Dem say "At all at all na winch".instead make person carry last,make e draw! Once a woman has economic power,her private decisions are respected. Hey,even in a marriage,a high powered wife has a mind of her own...mostly sha. Long and short of it, Marriage is honourable.Marriage is a good thing.Two are better than one. Having agreed to these,society,religion and everyone,must adjust to the new order of things. A woman can save herself from depression,suicide and 'mental problems' by doing the needful.if push comes to shove,she can still smile in the end. Condemn her from here to jericho.you can't sue her! Whether by choice or fate,remember,not everyone will marry.But everyone has a right to make lemonade out of life's lemons.
ReplyDeleteTanks for ur comment! U hit d nail on d head.
DeleteMy cousin wideeee!
DeleteI'm going to type this comment that I got from a website (http://thesinglewoman.net/) in response to a question that was asked on what the greatest fear of a single woman is. I found it quite interesting and thought I’d share. Below is the response from a Beth T:
ReplyDelete"I am a married woman reading these entries on fear. I was single until age 41. I married and then had a child at age 43. My daughter is now 13 and I am 56. I have found that married life is not better than being single, just different. I have a great husband and a beautiful daughter but we have had our share of problems over the years. Don't think you are missing out just because you are single. You have a different blessing than I do. Sometimes I miss having that blessing. You have an opportunity that I don't in the fact that you have freedom to be whoever you want. I have to be a wife and mother first before I can be me. I am glad God chose me to wait for marriage and family because I don't know that I could have made the sacrifices that you have to make when you have a family. God knows what he is doing for each one of us, whether marriage and children are part of it or not. You each had a special calling on your life. Rise to the opportunity to be a blessing whatever situation you have. God is faithful! He has a plan, trust Him. He loves you!
Syca
My dear we all know! She however won't tell us the pain and anguish she went thru will she was waiting and crying to God to give her a husband when she was still 40yrs and unmarried. My ppl, all these things nah wash! Ppl that are in marriage are happy, enduring, wanting to get out or are out! Yet those not yet married are crying unto God DAILY in several Fastings and prayers to get into marriage....some even say "even if its for 3mths"! I've stopped reading ppl's opinions becos most ppl lie a lot jor! Its good for ppl to marry, and on time too! But its not compulsory...so don't kill urself if u are not yet married!
DeleteMy dear don't let the asoebi wearing husband and wife tinz fool u. There is nothing as sad as a woman who has to be a wife and mother before she can be all she can be as a woman. In today's world, achievement is everything. If I have a child or 2 with a lovely boyfriend now and again, a great career, my own home, good health, peace of mind and personal freedom, how can another woman be better than me because she answers Mrs so and so? We really need to rethink this our backward culture.
Deletehttp://www.TheWorkPaid.com/?share=48984 click on the link above, register and make cool cash instantly
ReplyDeleteMarriage is not a must bt me I must marry. I don't want to av children outside wedlock. If u don't marry, d community sees u as a Prostitute or a witch.
ReplyDeleteGoodness me, what kind of community are u from? Pls move!
DeleteMarriage is not the ultimate for a woman.I don't think every woman must get married.I know many women who are married yet miserable.I also know women who aren't married and are as happy as can be.
ReplyDeleteGet longer hair in 7 days
Marriage is not by force. Sometimes it is better to be single than married and heart broken, depressed, with low self-esteem and harassed so much that you are wishing for death.
ReplyDeleteVisit koolblend.blogspot.com for true life stories you can't afford to miss.
I am married and I love it, yes, not everyone must marry but marriage is a good thing. Yes not all marriages are sweet but it takes 2 to tango. There is some kinda societal respect that comes when a lady says she's married. I can tell of a truth cos I was once single. Even if you may want out some day in your marriage, it is good to give it a try. Then you can make a well informed decision if it is good to be married or single. I don't respect those who have never been married yet say all sorts of rubbish about the institution, instead I respect a separated or divorced lady who will come and say "marriage is not for everyone" y? Because she has tasted both sides. In as much as I know "men plenty but husband scarce" syndrome, I believe every woman has a man out there for here. It may take a longtime but keep making your mark, d man will surely come.
ReplyDeleteSLK
Wide Eyed, i respect you....i am your biggest fan.i have learned too many things from your always wise comments over time. God bless you and yours.Amen!
ReplyDelete*that_Edo_babe!
If u re an African lady and not married, the society will be against you. Thank God don marry oh!
ReplyDeleteMarried n living a sad life for others. Smh
DeleteStella our society is the cause of all the tension,if u are not married at a particular age,no one respects u,even at work ur bosses treat u differently and respectively when u are married!
ReplyDeleteIf u are not married,no matter how well paid u are on ur job,pple just still conclude u are sleeping around to get the money!they just must call u old hag' its dat unfair to the woman gender!
Whereas there is no where in the scriptures that compels anyone to marry but d African scriptures' compels with a gun to ur head!
This has caused unnecessary fear and desperation which at the end leads the average matured girl to enter a bad marriage.
As a result,there is cause and effect:when a woman enters a bad marriage or a marriage without love,that will now lead her to start having affairs outside!so who is deceiving who?
Our society needs to chill on this marriage issue abeg!#my two cents#
What is wrong with u? The fact that u can't find a hubby does not mean sometn is wrong with our 'African society' I live abroad and I can tell u most girls dream of marriage, even in d UK now d govt is offering tax relief to people who are married. I wonder for my people o! In the bid of trying to be civilized, u have become so secular than even the people living in the Netherlands.
DeleteMadam or Mister Anon,if u must know clearly,i am HAPPILY married and a mother of two!
DeleteWhat is secular abt us chilling' on the kind of pressure we put on our young gals to get married here?
Inasmuch every country encourages it,the pressure in the African society is too much!it has now made d average unmarried gal a plaything in the hands of playboys,fake Pastor's and sexual predators as they run from pillar to post looking for husband!its really not cool.
I have a daughter,and by his grace if she reaches the marriageable age,i will rather encourage her to develop herslf (educationally and financially)live a decent life and wait patiently for Mr Right and not otherwise!
I'm wiv queen b on dis. Tax reliefs are purely economic moves that favour the country's balance sheet. In naija a woman's socio-economic contribution is a relatively new concept. To even compare UK n Naija is silly. Our female politicians are called prostitutes if fix nice weave on. We are very backward.
DeleteMarriage is not a must but I wan wed next year, dear Lord I need my own spouse sharpaly abeg. I dnt respect single ladies dt v children outside wedlock, even d bible is against it. Lastly, nvr force urself to marriage in order to answer mrs. AMY BABE
ReplyDeletemarriage is by choice, but I think all ladies must have once in their life time thought of having their dream wedding and all,think when ppl start making statement like everyone mustn't get married is when age knocks,been married is a beautiful thing despite the ups and down.
ReplyDeleteMarried women, please what do u do for fun? I'm bored. Any ideas?
ReplyDeleteIf you were single you would already know.
DeleteWide eyed....... I luv u! Swear down ur fantastic! God bless u for ur little write up!
ReplyDeleteHahahaha see women not respecting women with children out of wedlock. Some of you are products of unfaithful women who had you out of wedlock and pinned you on some man o. I respect a woman that is about her business. Nowadays, it is by His grace that women are marrying right. Some are in a sham because of "I must marry tomorrow". What I say is a must is? Women MUST not be financially dependent in this day and age. Too many shockers biko, marriage is not the security blanket we once thought it was.
ReplyDeleteGood marriages are nice to be in but sister, if you never marry you better ignore society and live your life. Society will not come to your rescue when you are kicked out in the street by your husband or his family when he if he is no more or they disapprove of you.
All of you shouting I must marry, I hope as you are waiting you are adding value to your lives. Too many women are living as married single mothers. So open your eye past Banke Mashida makeup bookings and large reception venues, once that one finish some of us are seeing the shocker of our lives. The person wey talk say the financially independent wife is allowed to have a mind of her own and is feared is a correct person. Inlaws no dey too mess with you, even your husband ma will arrange himself well. Not to be negative o, but this is just a caution to my dear singles.
All that whole, they respect you more when you are a Mrs is half and half o.
See orgasmic comment of life! You finish 'werk'!
Delete6million likes
Deletelove this comment
ReplyDeleteI would love to get married
ReplyDeleteBt wil only do d@ wen I'm in love and loved
Not gonna compromise cos of age
Lai lai
I've bin in 3 relaxnships
I noticed wit my last bf d@ men now believe d@ women re desperate for marriage
Who can blame dem
Wen gals throw demselves @ men all cos of dis marriage waka
As for me
I'm focusing on being a beta person so I can mke d world a beta place
Thr is no single lady that is up to the marriage age that isnt married dat is happy,trust me that all fake it and tell u they are happy. Marriage is not a do or die thing buh it is necessary,it comes with all its bruohaha but it is worth it. Most ladies set too much standard for themselves thats y they are not married. Am a graduate buh currently dont have a job am preparing for a wedding, a frd said to me she cant get married until she gets a job i asked her wat if u dont get a job say until like 2yrs wat will u do,she didnt answer me.i told her i can achieve watever i want to achieve in my hubby's house marriage dosent stop me.
ReplyDeleteU r a dreamer. When ur hubby n his semi illiterate mama command u dat to carry pikin for back n to pound iyan na dat one be d job work wey fit u na u go carry ur self come SDK to cry.
DeleteCertainly nothing that is beyond your power is a must. Being single is not a sin and will not stop anyone from making heaven. Only sin and unbelief will stop one from making heaven. In saying that, I know of loads of ladies who desire marriage but can't find the right partner. Only God knows why there is pain in the world just like a childless woman's pain, I guess sin itself brought pain and loneliness. But I have a lot of issues with some married women this days who lament over married life and let some single people to believe that marriage is something to endure. Yes some marriages are hell but even some single people also have it tough, but marriage and family life can be SWEET! I am married and if I come back to this world again I will want to live the same life I am living now. I also have daughters and I will say this to them, desire marriage, Godly home, but if it does not come, still be happy. If you are single do not wear yourself out with finding a husband, just do the right thing and let it happen naturally. Be prayerful and thankful.
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU OOOO
ReplyDeleteI don't care what people may think, but I believe in marriage and mine will work out excellently when I finally get into it, I'm always looking forward to it, no matter what is happening in marriages today, we still have people that their marriages are peaceful, and my own will be part of it.
ReplyDeleteBut ladies should be patient and not rush into marriage, or force themselves on a guy by getting pregnant jst to get married, most of such marriages usually hit d rock at last
Ok o.
DeleteDo you recall this conversation? You:"This lady fine o.she too much! Heard she's successful. Is she married?" Reply:"No". You:" But she get pickin abi?". Reply:"No". You:why naa? She for just born naa. Time dey go ...". That's reality! If your sister,at 42 is not married,you will secretly hope she gets in the family way. Popes full here.so make una gather beat me. I don talk my own!
ReplyDeleteMarriage isn't compulsory? but God himself saw that it wasn't okay for man to be alone and he made a woman for him.. So was God not thinking right to have made a companion for adam? Why didn't he make eve and tell her to be on her own...
ReplyDeleteWhen single galz come out and say marriage is. Not compulsory,they must not be married to be happy and the lots of other things they say,I laugh,u know why?cos in the corner of there room,they are crying,fasting and praying. To have a man to call there own but when they come out of their houses,they act like they don't need aman..
Just like someone said,I don't like hearing marriage talk from single galz,but from divorced or seperated people cos them alone have tasted all angles andknow what is best
Somone here said there are married women who are misearble and single galz who are happy as they can be"huh"? Really? Is that what u are going by? There are lots of misearble single galz,trust me as there are lots of misearble married women.. Single galz get depreesed too cos of one disappointment or the other,having bad relationships. There are even single gals that there bf beats them up,instead of them to leave the relationship,they hook themsleves cos of love and still come out and shout ata married woman whose husband is doing thesame thing her bf is doing to her,telling her to leave,
Abeg,marriage is a good thing. I am married and I love every bit of it. I won't trade it for anything at all,in as much as there is problem in a mere relationship,that's how marriage goes thru its own but when u have love,understanding,God and respect,u will over come
So yes,God has made a man for every woman. Urs might have come and u missed it,urs might have been hooked to the wrong woman or urs is till waiting for the right time tocome
Mmmh... Ok but you've not considered a lot of facts. You example of Adam and Eve is cool but Adam didn't beat, cheat on and abandon Eve. And say he did and Eve of course wanted out of the marriage, there was no societal pressure to stay put. Fact is, women are scared of marriage because mendo awful things to their wives. Women enter marriages with good intentions then turn into scared mice or horny goats because of the awful things men do to their wives. Women stay because of society. Single girls are depressed because of society. Pls where is God in it?
DeleteIt is not a must to get married. But like the Bible says, if u no fit hold body, den get married.
ReplyDeleteOn the single mother issue, some girls just get people to knock them up because they feel they are getting old and since the don't have husband, they use a child to console themselves. Some get pregnant to trap a man and the man ends up leaving them instead of marrying them.
Whatever the case, two is better than one. Everyone needs a companion. You will get lonely and loneliness is REAL.
Many married women are lonely. Their husbands are out chasing single ladies even older than the wives gan.
DeleteAlot of women will miss heaven because of marriage.
ReplyDeleteBut 'not getting married' will not stop you from making heaven. IT IS NOT BY FORCE.
Marriage is all about sacrifice and what you can live with.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is good because we all need a shoulder to lean on in the long run
whoever said marriage is not good is a BIG liar(excluding cases of domestic violence and abuse)
No woman deserves to be alone.We are emotional people.We always want smone to cry to and laugh with.No matter how hard you think you are as a woman,the day will come when loneliness will set in as as the bible says'"none shall lack her mate".Just pray earnestly to God and stay true to yourself and what you want in your man,and trust me,you will find your friend and this doesn't mean that you won't have your differences,but you'll see how amicably they will be settled and you guys will forge ahead.
You want to remain single abi?Wait until old age sets in...
I think the problem is that a lot of look out for very baseless and senseless things while dating/courting and that way we end up with the wrong people in our marriages.Marriage isabout understanding.If do not understand you,there is no way we can live happily as man and wife.There is no marriage without challenges and issues.What's important is how it is handled.We really need to stop copying the western culture by thinking living single or being single mothers is the best.Jeeez!They have their own way of life and we have ours.We are missing it honestly.Stella Marriage is verrrry good.Even you sef know this,inspite of the ups and downs.
ReplyDeleteWell done with all the comments. Looks like a vast majority are from women/men living in Nigeria. I will make it simple, marriage is meant for everyone but is not for everyone. Some believe more in the wedding ceremony and receive the shock of their lives after the Confetti settles. The older and financially secure one becomes, It might become a bit of a complex issue because so many things have to be taken into consideration, I will leave each individual to fill in the gap...
ReplyDeleteUltimately, two heads are better than one but in a case where couples butt heads incessantly and constantly then that's a problem.
I don't need to state my status, location, gender or profession since I am "anonymous" to all but the account holder who can fish me out through my IP, but the point I am making is Marriage is Good, it is meant to bring stability, procreation, Unity and all the positive but not everyone is going to have this unfortunately or they will have something... Fill in the gap again.
For those trying to force people to go get hooked, take a look at your marital state. For those condemning the single parents, look in the mirror have your children eaten today? And for those who call single men Gay and women Ashawo and witches, take a look at your family tree.
I am speaking for almost everyone that fits into one of these categories and I am wearing an armored suit for the barrage of tongue lashings but that's what neutral people get. Sorry to have rattled some.
@DSmartNigerian Read my tweets and learn or follow if you like. Thanks. :)
Infact,be my besto! Word, worder,wordest!!! #goes back to read again#
DeleteSweeeet!
DeleteStella please can u upgrade ur comment page to have the red and green arrow botton like dat of the daily mail,plsssssss
ReplyDeleteas for been married,I think its good to be married,theres a lot of respect wen u r married,naturally u won't feel complete if u arnt married,no matter how many fake smile u put on d face to people u know deep inside u will love to have a man as ur crown,we r human,it just natural,genny,Rita,funke won't say dey don't wish to be married someday,but just dat they are afraid of failed marriage, but it really a good tin to be married,even u stella u can't compare urself to Linda day not married,ur thinking are different,while she think abt the latest shoes and bag in vouge, u forcuz on ur baby boi day just enroll to pry sch,tell me u don't enjoy the feeling of been married and a man to support u alyz,to me if u arnt married I won't respect u,no matter ur achievement if no man control u,u r loose
I pity u
DeleteMarriage is sweet when you 're married to the right person.But if society and family pressure pushed you to settle for less, then you 've got to be ready for the crises sooner or later.Personally, I believe two heads 're better than one...family is priceless, and it doesn't stop me from being a carrier woman.
ReplyDelete@Wide Eyed....U're always on point. I totally agree with your comment. Hi5 babes!
ReplyDeleteMarriage is like a crown as one gets older.
ReplyDeleteIt commands respect.
While some are lucky with the institution, others find it a nightmare, a trap, a prison.
Marriage is by choice not by force.
It is better to be single and happy than married and frustrated.
It is beautiful and 'awesomestatic' to be married to a partner who adores you to Pluto and beyond....