hi stella,
I have been fighting within myself if I should send you this mail..I don't want readers to insult me because they do not know the war waging in my heart, good day to you all.
I need your help, I'm the only girl with 4 brothers, I'm 25 and a lawyer and still single and jobless, I have had series of failed relationships which I came out of without thinking about them. Even though now I'm not in a relationship I'm not bothered.
My problem is that my folks are always talking about marriage and its getting to me gradually, its depressing, to the extent that they don't want me to leave the house again. They don't want me visiting friends or socialising, That I'm supposed to be indoors "praying" for the right man to come. now I stay all day in my room, the only thing keeping me sane is my phone, I know they wish me well but I think they are going about it the wrong way. No doubts I love them but they are pressurising me too much!I can't rush into a relationship because of my parents! That's even if there's any single guy out there! Every guy around seem to be hooked or trying to untangle from whatever is holding them.... I don't know what to do! please advice me.. Thanks All.
*WOW...this is serious.why do parents put pressure on their kids to get married?this is so wrong*
I'm 24 and my mum won't let my rest
ReplyDeleteInfact somedays she cries!
I am happy this topic is out my own parent are practically killing me to get married I am 23 reason my elder sis married at 20 and she has 3kids at 26 so they say is late for me. If am late at 23 don't know what will happen when I get to 25 I feel like leaving the house
DeleteHehehe! See small children-o! 25,? 23,? Who is hurrying you people? Me I am 30-! SINGLE. Searching with 3D eyes. But why does it look like you children sound more desperate than I am.
DeleteI have this funny feeling that all of you claiming 23,24, 25, are all liars. Why should anyone nag you at this age? Just wondering! Its like u are so used to lying about your age, pls remember u are on a blog, and u are commenting under anonymous, so pls keep it real. If u insist that's your age, sorry, just checking.
Deleteah.3D babe I be guy wey dey search with 3D.eyes.too abeg wetin be ur number
DeleteLmao! @ Anon 9:05. You mean your mum goes as far as crying? Wow, that's serious. I am 23, and my mum isn't giving me breathing space. Always talking marriage and even going as far as asking my siblings if they know who I am seeing. Poster, you need to release yourself from that house. You need to go out and meet people. No man will just walk into your room, mingle please. May God help us from our parents.
DeleteMy dear i'm in same shoes wt u,i have lots of sisters,i'm d youngest d d only single girl left in my house,i have some1 but wants 2 finish his masters b4 settling down,i don't know how to tell my folks that I have a year to wait. As it is now i've closed my mind,wont allow their talk get 2 me but will be prayerful 4 God to bless my bf so we can get married b4 d end of his masters programme
ReplyDeleteGet a job,then get married. You are their only girl and they wanna see grandkids. BTW is ur mum Patience Ozokwor?
ReplyDeleteIrene Bernards Wat a silly comment, so easy "get a job then get married" still boiling to the same preasure she is talking about. Do dey sell husbands in d market? Are u God to suggest dey want to see their grankids! May God 4gv u. Do u know what lies ahead for u? In as much as everybody wants a good job and a husband, that doesn't mean people shuld kp rubbing it in people's faces. My dear writer just kp calm, take things as dey come, God will surely see u tru. ~Ritty~
DeleteMy dear, if you have a job please give her andvif you also have a husband you kept somewhere please help her out! I'm sure she will be grateful. Na wa oh! Sometimes we talk without thinking.
DeleteVisit koolblend.blogspot.com for true life stories you can't afford to miss.
Ok, this is so funny. For goodness sake, you are just 25! I'm sure if you were 30, they would have killed you. With the way you/them are going about it sef, e go tey wella o.
ReplyDeletePS: SDK that wedding gown got me staring. Let me just use style and forward this page to my boo ;;)
U are not alone...I'm 26 and currently facing the same thing...don't rush into anything that u'll regret later..bcos ur parents won't b there 2 face it with u..hang in there and be strong,be prayerful and don't be desperate..keep ur options open and gudluck
ReplyDeleteGood advice...I was in the same shoe too...when I was 26 my younger sis got married before me, she was just 23...I went thru hell,people mocked me to a point I felt like killing myself..but I thank God I kept believing him for a miracle and today am 30 I got married this sept to the best man in the world,who loves me more than myself....pls be patient,put your trust in God,he knows when its time...people who rushed before their time are all leaving in regrets ..if not divorced.
Deleteam telling you...
ReplyDeleteDs pressure is getting much
If is not from ur family,,is from society,,,ur pastor,,ur neighbour...almost everyone
They are making ds young girls go '''gaga''',,,which is very unfair.
@Galore
Please what Job does TINUKE AKANDE do besides being the second in command make up artist after BANKE MESHIDA at BMPRO looks like she does RUNS I'm asking cos I have a friend who wants to wife her but has been hearing stuff about her
DeleteAnd u that is looking 4 what else she's doing outside her job,are u saint,u should be ashamed of ur self 4 dis rubbish. Let he who is without a sin cast d first stone
DeleteHahahahaha. Which kind enquiry be this.?
DeleteLolzzz.... I'm dreading returning home after youth service cos I know it's not just my parents, but "concerned" church members, neighbors and even my friends back home !!!
DeletePublic enquiry ni!
DeleteUyoyo the fool you're obviously tinuke herself u better not let me cast u here uhn lemme just shush like I dnt see that comment
DeleteHow r u gonna meet a guy to marry u if dey keep u locked up in ur room?
ReplyDeleteBless Ʊ ! How is the guy gonna meet Ʊ when Ʊ not even 'outside' †̥ be met?Dear Poster,don't allow pressures make Ʊ get hooked †̥ the wrong person,a lonely marriage is something u wouldn't wish of yourself and ΰя family won't be there then †̥ help with the burden.God knows ΰя desire †̥ settle down,TRUST in Him and in His provision,at the right time,He would come through for Ʊ !It's well.
DeleteI tire ooo.Make dem free d babe jare....ave a sis who rushed in at 25 now out of d marriage.
DeleteLmao.dnt mind dem dear.take it slow,dnt be in a hurry so dat u won't hurry out.afterall,wen d main problem comes in ur marriage,they will still castigate u nd say all sorts of tins.it's nt how far,it how well.if marriage is worth doing den it's worth doin well.so take ur time.
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of family do you have? Are they confused? They want you to marry, yet they want you to remain indoors and not socialise? I don't get.
ReplyDeleteYour greatest problem now is your joblessness. A lot of young people in Naija need to stop looking for non existent jobs. Start buying and selling, take baked stuff to people's offices, offer your legal services to people you know at a discounted fee, lean a trade and empower yourself, etc. Just get busy and be away from the house.
Free yourself from the shackles of depression.
hmm... She said she's grounded and dependent. How can she leave the house to source the funds for this business?
DeleteSome parents are totally responsible for the marital problems their children face. And since it's not in their power to remedy the situation, they put pressure on the child, taking them from church to church and further entangling them. How can a parent prohibit an adult from socialising if they truly intend for that child to get married? It's odd. I smell something fishy.
@ ur age, pressure ll surely come 4rm parents, neigbours,, family, friends and whoever cares. My dear 25 yrs is not too old to still be searching, I got married just last month @ age 30 I went true hell from my father 10q God 4 my mum who is undastdn. I stood on the fact dt no body can force me 2 get marry $ beside I need to give my man some time I even threatning to leave the house for him if I cnt bear it anymore. My dear keep praying d right man ll come @ d right time it is normal 4 dem to b concern bt they shld not overdo it. Let them understd that staying indoor cannot help they shld let you socialise so you can meet ppl, free ur mind $ enjoy ursef it is well.
ReplyDeleteMarry Sir Emeka Offor and your maale go cool down. #straightface
ReplyDeleteLmao.dnt mind dem dear.take it slow,dnt be in a hurry so dat u won't hurry out.afterall,wen d main problem comes in ur marriage,they will still castigate u nd say all sorts of tins.it's nt how far,it how well.if marriage is worth doing den it's worth doin well.so take ur time.
ReplyDeleteNne, bear with dem. But d ban on going out get as e be cos wen u pray finish u need 2 go out make d guy fit locate u naa. With such pressures, little wonder babes are settling as 2nd, 3rd wives as the case may be. Some sef marrying their grandpas mates. Shyla
ReplyDeleteMy dear I went through the same with my parents, to d extent dat dey said I was to fat and had to loose weight (I'm jus size 10/12) the only advise I would give u is dat u should jus give in to their demands. A month of being their perfect daughter wouldn't kill u. Also the prayers would help. Jus dedicate a month to do every tin they demand of u. Pray with all ur heart, and den dey would be free to let u out. Also make sure u grad dem out to pray with u, morning and night. Their attitude towards u would def change. Trust me, I'm talking from experience. And I'm sure ur parents r not monsters. U might hav also been living an unhealthy life style dat would make dem lock u up (just speculations). Jus check yourself to make sure u r without fault, den do what dey want. Jus for a month. U r still young so 1 month of no socialization can't kill u.
DeleteHmmmm.....im 32 already wif a gud job n I can tell u I'm pretty bt also as single as u...I av decided to ignore d pressure n wait fr d rite time.get sthg to focus on n Jez keep praying.it is well
ReplyDeletewao phoenix am a fairly decent guy with a fairly decent job but l hadly have time to socialise bcos of my job Phoenix l will like to meet you if you don't mind.
DeleteYayyy...someone is interested in me. Who knows I cld meet Mr right here on SDK o.lol,drop ur info pls
DeletePls phoenix don't be decieved..the guy obviously saw "good job" and that is y he is interested. Ask him y he is hiding under annonymous?.."fairly decent guy and fairly decent job indeed..its either u r decent or u r not and it's either ur job is decent or its not which one is fairly there?
DeleteThis is just unfair.. Why do some parents do this? My dear, just develop a thick skin and never allow their words hurt you. Btw, is it when you are always indoors that your hubby would find you ni? Go out, have fun, visit places of interest, let your hair down. Abeg, enjoy your single life now. Marriage isn't the beginning and end of one's life..
ReplyDeleteLong ago, on my birthday, My dad called me and said "Don't let anyone pressure you into Marriage". I fell in love with him even more. From that day, I had automatic visa to shut anyone down when they asked.
ReplyDeleteYour response to whoever is bothering you about marriage should be that they are not praying hard enough. Tell them to dry fast for 21 days make the man come. Rubbish! Them dey pick man for junction? Especially with all these lazy boys around.
And madam under pressure, you're 25 not 13. Find something to do make you comot for house for this pipu. I won't say get a job cos it's so hard. But get busy.
#rme. African parents be acting like marriage is a do or die affair. Marriage wey hard pass further maths. Mschewwwww.
LoL@ they need to pray more. Well said.Nothing to add.
DeleteWide Eyed! I dey ur back on this one!!!
DeleteLol....... marriage hard pass further maths. Tell them. They don't know that they don't know.
DeleteMarriage does nt make u a happy lady....Btw single ladies in the haux this is a must watch movie..BAGGAGE CLAIM!
DeleteU r lucky now at 25,i am 32 n my mum, dad,sis,uncle n d whole family is on my neck.they forget thrs jez so much one can do in getting into a rltnshp....d Lord is ur strength n btw I am gainfully employed.
ReplyDeleteI just clocked 27, my mum has started disturbing me, although in a subtle way for now o. Even my sugar daddy is wondering if young guys don't see me cos I am a beauty to be hold. Will I tell him yes they see me? Please I need advice here o. I didn't say insult up in here. Loooooool. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteYour sugar daddy and you want to marry? O di nma.
DeleteForget marriage as long as you have a sugar daddy. Can you mock God ni? My dear, let go of that sugar daddy and watch eligible men come your way.. They aren't blind, no man wants to compete with a sugar daddy.
DeleteUr sugar daddy is d one holdin ur marriage,he has taken ur luck and star,no marriage,no kids 4 u if u don't stop seein him and go 4 deliverance.
DeleteLol, did you say your 'sugar daddy?' You are so funny. You need a fiance not a financier, lol. Seriously, I am not saying you or anyone within your age range HAS to be Married, having said that, maybe the 'Sugar daddy' is the bitter pill that is blocking your sense of reasoning. Dump that old foddy, because you are his plaything, you are wasting your time since you can't eat your cake and have it too, you are wasting your youth and are being deceived and you know it. Get a grip.
DeleteAs long as u are with 'papa,u definitely will not have time for single guys.u think guys don't sense when u don't have their time?
DeleteBtw ur sugar daddy is stylishly trying to tell u the end of ur era' is close for him to suddenly notice u need to get married.and I bet u he will soon dump u for a younger more beautiful gal!...the younger and fresher spring up everyday u know,haha!
So advice urself hun!
Abegii that's a lie! Mock God in what way madam know it all? Am 28 and no bf but I have a 'companion' am not desperate to marry. When u r talking about mocking God how about those runz chic who even marry good men? Na mock God be that we need to stop thinking backwards! I won't leave my companion and Mr right will come you want make depression kill person? No man, no job? No sex? No money? That's y pple want to start committing suicide, something has to give o!
DeleteSugar daddy and I aren't planning to get married dear & Oluyomi a few women have left their sugar daddies to get married, I will never mock God. I don't through it in the faces of single guys. When the right t man comes I will put all my energy into building my relationship. Unless God for bid the matter Don turn spiritual. Thank you for your advice with out crucifying me.
DeleteAm 34 no single no bf. U can imagine pressure 4m everybody even 4m people not family but I ve learnt to encorage myself, trusting unwavering in the Lord while moving forward in my professional life
ReplyDeleteEyah I feel u gurl!m actually goin thru d same thing in d hands of my mother.she always tells me y its nt gud 4 a gurl 2 continue stayin wit her parents after her master n dat p'ple myt start thnkin dat m a bad gurl n dats y m nt married.my elders ones r married.remainin jst I n younger sista n she's realy hungry 2 host a big party nw..my dear jst pray bout it cuz I blieve wit time everythin will pass.I sooo mch bliev in time,i bliev in a short whyl my problem 2day will soon 4 4gotton.last year I had 2 bring som1 I didn't luv home jst2 please her .the guy works in mobil eket n na so my mom fell inluv o.she insiSted I must marry him.bt had 2 back out cuz I cudnt marry som1 I dnt luv.n no chemistry@all.last last I tld her 2 leav me alone n wen I meet som1 I luv she'll knw.I dnt wanna mak any mistake dat willl ruin my future.knw wen u marry a wrng guy it can kill ur bryt future.so ryt nw everythin is in God's hands
ReplyDeleteAnother piece from Charly Boy...enjoy...
ReplyDeleteWanting so badly to get hooked is something many people seem to take far too lightly and for granted these days. Something some of them feel they should do to win acceptance from people and society. These days’ people look at the package and never the content, forgetting that marriage should be a life time commitment of two strangers. In some cases the marriage may workout, like, Charles and Diane, Tunde and Wummie. But most of the time it falls like a park of cards, because as people are rushing to get in, people are rushing to get out, at an alarming rate. Kai!!
These days break ups and divorce has become the trend as soon as the honey Moon is over. People use to think that divorce rate is only high amongst celebrities, but now, across board, couples are falling asunder, going under the pressure of a very bad decision , just because they Must Marry.
In these hard times, people are blowing and burning pots of money on very fancy weddings that really don't last after the honey moon. In this age, some parents still pressure their daughters in getting married early. It's like, once your girl crosses the 30yrs bracket, they start to panic, getting anxious and putting pressure on their girl to get married, like it is that easy. She just can't go to the market and buy a husband, or can she? When the poor girl insists on finding her dream man, she is accused of being unserious. Parents please learn to back off joor, it's not by force. After all, are they the ones who will leave with the spouse?
There is nothing wrong with waiting for the right person, because if it is the razzmatazz of the wedding things that you enjoy, go ahead and throw yourself a big nonstop party for a whole week. After all, weddings are just one day event, but a marriage is supposed to be a life time thing. I know that weddings are fun, romantic and you can finally tell your girlfriends, boyfriends or your sugar daddy's that you have finally captured your own ‘mugu’. But has this guy been tried and tested? Dating and courting is a different matter from ‘Till Death Do You Part’. Living with one human being for the rest of your life. My sister look the thing well oooo. Bebe, do you have an idea how your guy functions in rough weather? When reality bites, is he calm or does he freak out? Do you share the same interest in some things? Bebe, before you rush into this marriage, it is important to learn where your partner stands on the bigger issues of your life together. Do you have the same values? Sit him down and have a long talk about these and other issues that are of importance to you, you may discover that chances of a long lasting marriage could be slimmer; women are intuitively wired to pick up these things. Are you a learner?
For me, I got hooked up with a woman I never saw coming and a woman I will never let go. When I met my wife, she was not even a girlfriend or a lover. I liked her physically, because she had and still have curves that men would die for, but she was never my idea of a wife.
My dear I'm 26 and I'm under pressure to marry. I have a stable job o. I keep telling my dad to pray harder when he starts with me. But Lemmi confess the need to marry is dawning on me- it's honourable my dear. I don't advocate for rush but I also identify with the reality. I think u should pray about it,get yourself really busy.
DeleteMy consolation these days sha is like this Adam was asleep till eve was made and he was happy to see her,he named her eve
My dear, pray for ur Mr right to locate u soon. Early marriage is the best o. I was 27 last July, been married for 6 yrs, with a 5 year old gurl, 3 year old boy and preggy for my last. Nothing is as beautiful as a young mum with grown kids. God bless all the singles dat are honestly seeking for their Mr Right. Amen
ReplyDeleteI envy u dear. Amen to that Prayer
DeleteDats Lovely. But do u have a job? Just asking cos thr is always a price to pay for such early marriage.
DeleteMs I got married @ 21,what do u do for a living?hope u aren't totally dependent on ur husband?
Delete@ladies,better have a career before starting the marital phase...#enufsaid
Hmmmm, almost all the girls that comment here are single.
DeleteI pray for all the girls that are single here, that before the end of this year, you shall all find your mr right IJN amen.
People like you encourage single women to make bad decisions. Poster asked for advice and all you can say is early marriage is the best, you got married at 21 , you have 2.4 kids.... bla bla bla! Boastful much ? Pls spare us the perfect life details. When will people learn that life is not a race and everyone is different? Not EVERY girl will get married at a young age; not EVERY girl will give birth immediately after marriage; Not EVERY girl will find a ready made rich husband ! Thank God for your life and don't rub your good fortune in other people's noses!
Delete@ Topha, married ladies are in the house too.
DeletePoster, you are too young to be stressed by this. Your parents are doing more harm than good. At your age, my parents were more concerned about my MBA in the UK. I've been married over 8 years now and l give God the glory. I have friends that got married at 24/25 and their marriages have now crashed. This life is not a race. Everyone has their own pace.
@Anon 1:58, I Just think you are one frustrated old ulgly single woman here. I haVe not seen what Anon 10:15 have said wrong. Please if you don't appreciate other people's good fortune, u will die wretched. My dear, Am saying Amen for my Mr right.
DeleteLol @ all the Replies here. @ Anon 1:58, am sori if ve hurt u in any way, I never meant to @ Elle, yes I'm a civil servant. With FIRS to be precised. U don't need to be a career lady before getting married. I got married in my year 3, and got my job immediately I finished my nysc. When God designs for u, everyting becomes perfect. Pls stop deciding for God. He is the master planner. Give ur ways to him and he will surely fulfill d desires of ur heart. God bless u all. One love
Delete@Mimi, sorry to disappoint you. I've been married for over 10 years with kids. I however have single friends that are struggling to settle down. I don't rub my fortune in their faces and tell them " it's good to be married with kids". I pray with them and support them. You have to be careful what you say to people struggling with issues. It takes understanding and maturity.
DeleteI'll take my own advice and stop here before l say something else to you!
All I will say is marriage is like the Four Seasons. Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. Inevitably, you'll pass through all 4, some more than once. It is NOT a journey to be endured for and with someone you settled for. Something will have to give. Him, You, Marriage, Kids, Sanity, Happiness, Fulfilment. Something. Which of the above is the least important to you? And he who has ears should hear. Make sure you have a job or at least a complete education before marriage. Mrs. Young Mother, na your type dey tell people say dem take gold line road for America. Na to just dey pick am. Tell them what you go through candidly. The good AND the bad.
DeleteSigned: A much older Mrs.
Dear Poster,
ReplyDeleteEyaa, pele. Parents and excessive marital pressure. Hian!
Babe, you only have one life to live and live it for yourself alone. GOD forbid, if you end up with a man who makes life a living hell for you, it's only you that will bear the pains alone and not your parents. If you inform them, they will say pray for him; endure; he'll change.
Also, praying indoors and not going out is a futile effort. You have to go out and meet people! After prayer, then
ACTION!
Also what are they doing to help you? Are they also praying for a good partner for you?
Please I beg you, don't give in to their pressure. The highest they can do is TALK, the rest LIES in your hands. You have got to develop thick skin.
If the pressure is way too much, change of environment will do your BSS(Body Soul Spirit) some good!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteUr family must be living in the 16th century. WTF are they smoking? who does these shits these days? do they want to force into something they will regret later.
ReplyDeleteI thought lawyers are outspoken.
Hmmmm my dear d pressure is everywia but be strong n prayerful! Try and go out visit places. Drop ur Cv with law firms. Infact visit lagos multidoor high court obalende. Lagos dey re accepting cv for contract jobs! With dat u can move out. Its a little start u know !
ReplyDeleteHun dats very kind of u......... TITO
DeleteI swear, many parents are the ones leading their kids to eternal sadness... Jes bcos ur my mum and dad does not give u the right to talk anyhow and make me do things am gon regret forever simply bcos u wanna look good as a parent in the eye of neighbours, other family members, the church and the public in general.. So many parents will go to hell because of this singular act, they just dnt know it.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is most of our parents are just selfish... why do they want us to get married? so they can have a big parent invite all their friends and 'church' people then boast about their grandchildren blah blah.. I love my friends mum so much am 30 by the way, the day she took her man home her mum sat her down and asked are you sure he's the one? Asked her very good questions that made her think hard and examine the man well. I took my man home a few weeks ago and my mum start rolling on the floor saying thank u Jesus, my father never fails and the whole rubbish she didn't even ask where I met him, when I met him and d likes she was just too happy she's gonna throw a party and to top d whole rubbish she did testimony to that effect in chuch the next Sunday I was so embarrassed!
ReplyDeleteChai! Laugh catch me !!! No be small.....lol..
DeleteHahahahahahhahhahahahhhahahahahha
DeleteLollolololol *coughs coughs coughs* LWKMD LMAO
Hahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahha *coughs*
Pls look for that old Nollywood movie titled $1, starring Patience Ozorkwo, Victor Osiagwu and Jim Iyke and entertain your mum with it. Lol again.
Pls don't kill me with laughter
DeleteUr parents are funny o,how can they want u to get married,and still lock u up in the house. Do they expect the Mr Right to break in thru the roof top and come propose to u?
ReplyDeletethis is a serious matter o.summon ur father's kinsmen to advice him.
Marriage is not child's play.
Lol! Na wa o, I'm under pressure but not from Family, I'm under peer pressure,lol, all my friends are getting married, this mber month I've got over 4 weddings and Ashoebi lined up from close friends, I sat and thought about my life and concluded that bettering myself and life is more important, I'm in a serious relationship we've been together since our school days so our ages are close kind of, if I'm to marry early say this year then I would have to break up with him and accept some people coming around, but I'm not ready to break up with who I love because of pressure and be stuck with someone I will/might grow to love.
ReplyDeleteTo the poster staying at home won't help u at all, Socialise more, join a unit in church be active, that way u can meet ur Mr Right.
Wow, I can definitely relate to you. Since I reached a certain age, there has been a lot of pressure on me to get married, especially from my folks. But, you shouldn't let that get to you. You are still very young - getting a job should be your priority for now. Also, you don't want another failed relationship since you've had a series of failed relationships. Take your precious time dear cos you don't want to get married then divorce. Marriage ain't easy- ask any married person. I don't understand your folks at all - They want you to get married and yet they want you to stay indoors. A man will not fall from heaven. In your case, you can only hope. Finally, there are lots of single guys out there ( you need to get out of the house first). At the right time, the right man will locate you. Remember, He makes all things beautiful in His own time. Enjoy yourself for now and watch Him take care of everything x
ReplyDeleteVery funny....@ 25 they are already worried? Are ur parents poor? Sorry for dis question but pls 25yrs is even too young to handle marital issues, Nd if I may ask can't ur parents get u hooked? Abi dem no get friends wit single male kids? My dear u just started life nd f u don't remove dis marriage tin from ur mind u wil end up wit d wrong man, I was 28yrs wen I called off my wedding nd my family stood by me., My supposed husband was sleeping wit his cousin unknowing to me, dis cousin of his was always on my case but as God will have it my elder sister told me she's not feeling right wit d marriage plans nd all dat I shld pray, bcos of how we were brought up I knew dat even if she wasn't married she can't envy me nd I started d prayers $ fasting , my dear bloggers u won't believe I caught dem red handed in bed nd dat was d end of it. I knw some desperate ppl wld had went on wit such a wedding cos it was just 4weeks to d wedding but I backed out. Pls I beg u don't b in a rush live ur life nd d right man will come.
ReplyDeleteSo Nemo u still exist? God forgives you.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts exactly! How do they expect Mr Right to appear in your bedroom when they keep locking you in? Manna do not fall from heaven
ReplyDeleteNor be who go outside, go see who tell am 'hello'?
I seriously do not understand some parents. Pray for your child and not frustrate her!
If her home isn't comfortable for her due to pressure, where else will?
My dear, the good lord maketh everything perfect in his own time. But I implore you, try to go out and socialize, find excuses to leave the haus. ....wetin i de talk sef? infact, no find excuse sef, tell your mama bluntly say you de comot. If she shout "to where?" Tell her "to go look for husband since you people won't let me rest"
It is well my dear! Pressure everywhere. #sigh
since they will not allow you go out kindly publish your address so we guys can come and check you out. every problem has a solution also go and learn a vocation like interior decoration or events management or go for your masters you have lots of options as a lawyer you ought to be smarter than these people please don't disgrace lawyers you are meant to be a problem solver the solution is in you so get up and do something and pray ceaselessly for guidance. May God b with you.
DeleteGod's time is the best. My Dad's advice and it worked for me. Just got married to a handsome rich young man who was very single too in my early 30s. And hes in his late 30sWait and pray and when people ask you when u are getting married. Just smile and tell them "At Gods time" even if u have somebody or not. #talkingfromexperience
ReplyDeleteGod will do it, just keep job hunting and be prayerful a good man will come. Am 30yrs with 2 kids a boy and a girl and planning to hv my last baby the 3rd. You are on the right track its not late 4u.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, good news is there are a lot of single guys out there looking for potential wives, now thing is u have to go outside to see them. Try also to get something doing, guys like ladies who are independent. But the main point is GO OUT, single men can't come to ur house to marry u.
ReplyDeleteAnon 10:15 ,God wil so bless you. Babe u need to stand on ur feet and pray. Coinsidentially I am a lawyer and am 25, single and jobless as well. But I took solace in God and now I have serious job offers. Who knows one can get connected to a boo from there lol.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile pals check dis
http://www.TheWorkPaid.com/?share=50581
Absolutely free.
Dear urs is even bata, my as an orphan i was 19 wen my useless anties pressure me 2 get married but thank God 4 he bless me fainacialy n am on my own now and waiting 4 God's time is the beast
ReplyDeletePrecious! Precious!! Precious!!! How many times did I call you? Hmmm!
DeleteU get anything to say ni julit abi juliet
DeleteI'm 31 n have had failed relationships n my mum keeps telling me not 2worry dat d right man will come that I should believe in God.n I feel bad dat I should have given her grand kids by now but like she said God will provide d right man.so I'm shocked wen gals says they get Pressurised by their mum cos both parents pray 4me every n by d grace of God its happening in Jan.
ReplyDeleteEcclesiastes 3:11 He hath made every thing beautiful IN HIS TIME: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.
ReplyDeleteThe word is "IN HIS TIME" and not "in our time or your time or your parents' time". Patience, watching and praying . . . and of course "closing your legs" (kindly permit me; mean no insult and don't imply you are immoral). As for "closing leg" it can only take one who is saved by Christ and who is living in the word of God. Are you saved by Christ? Turn to him and ask him to save you for every good and perfect gift is from him. God bless you.
@anonymous 10:15. Pls shut up. Ur time to enjoy ur cradle days was snatched by ur husband. We know ur type. B acting like it's all rozy wen ur husband is showing u pepper. Pls stfu and av several seats.
ReplyDeleteIn other news, yes my parents are pressurizing me as well. N I av decided not to let it get to me. I have celebrated at least 10 weddings for friends in the last 4 yrs. only 3 r still married. In fact, the third one is still shaky.
Pple need to understand that d wedding is a day. Marriage is for life. I see pple throwing divorce parties very soon.
My dear, kindly ignore any scum that's trying to force u. Get urself a job n b busy. Instead of joining this stupid bandwagon of confused girls that are all in the " i want to/ must marry phase" .. Insecure lots.
Kmt!!!!
Haven't you heard that a celebrity ex-couple threw a divorce party somewhere in the US last August..
DeleteI don tire for this marriage matter. My dear girl don't let anyone pressure you into marriage. Whenever my mum brings up the topic I bluntly tell her to go on her knees and pray for me, because that's the best she can do and that's all I need. I won't stress myself over the issue because I know at the right time God will do the needful. In the mean time find ways to add value to yourself. And pls ask your parents if the husband is going to come looking for you at home. Best wishes.
ReplyDeleteVALERIE.
abeg al this our parent shld take a chill pill already. Am 23 n ma parent are already letn m know am nothing both a goods for sale itz disheartening
ReplyDeleteHey Ladies, take it easy. I just clocked 26 and recently got engaged- I'm very grateful for that. My advise for the singles (that cant socialize) is get on social networks. You never know where you will meet your husband or where he will find you. Nigerians have this habit of not wanting anyone they met on facebook, twitter etc. YOU NEVER KNOW. U have a phone, use it wisely. Facebook, twitter, even bbm. God be with you. And keep praying...there's nothing God in Heaven cannot do.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteStella wetin apen?
DeleteDdnt no reference to anoda blog story related to this,is a taboo on ur blog.
U bloggers shld tk it izy on yasef ooo.
Queen Bee, you should be called little bitch. Immature scoundrel . You come out on blogs to insult people , why don't you shut up if you have nothing positive to advice or contribute.. It's you that will get dumped, it's same you that will never find a husband in a single guy. Imagine this rat that hasn't sourced 3 square Meal . People are discussing serious issues you are busy mocking me. You are definitely not God and I thank God for that.
ReplyDeleteHehehe!
DeleteSo dat sugar daddy will dump u soon is what's paining u?
That's a sure fact,deal with it!
U are the one dat needs 3square meals,dats y u are following sugar daddy!kpele dear.
Better thicken ur search for husband and leave papa' alone cos as for me,i have lonnng left the searching part!#tongue out#
You are delusional. So because you have left the left the search long ago according to you of course you think your life us any better.
DeleteI pity you sincerely. Look at you feeling all high and mighty because you are married, it certainly doesn't make you any better the single ladies. Thank God and move on, so nor and I repeat do not insult other people if you Don not or can't relate to what they are going through. Marriage no be achievement sane as no condition in life us permanent. With you dirty heart I can imagine if you respect your husband. It's the likes of you that marry good men until one day he will realise he married a Baaaaaad thing. Madam left the search long ago. Applaudise!!!!! Bastard
Was in a relationship dat failed after engagement nd ℳÿ̲̣̣̣̥
ReplyDeletefamily stood by м̣̣̇e dis was possible becos I didn't even give any1 d room τ̲̣̣̥
ọ̥
run or talk τ̲̣̣̥
ọ̥
м̣̣̇e down, I have a job and I Δ♏ a christian. I have been looking unto God solely and just wen I thought it was all ova he sent м̣̣̇e an angel. Dear Poster go out dere and find urself sumtin τ̲̣̣̥
ọ̥
do no matter how small. It ll earn Ɣōų ur respect b4 ur parents. It i§ well
Hmmmn lemme share my story. First my fav Bible verse; Luke 1:37 For with God nothing shall be impossible. I am 27 nd married expecting my *twins* I thank God for that though that's another story for another day. I don't mean to bluff but I am a beautiful young woman nd have met several wrong men in my life so much that they meet my parents and other family members and then we end up breaking up. I left naija for the UK for my masters I was glad to start another life nd nothing changed same story girl meets boy, boy tells girl to start a relationship meets my family then he messes up and we break up. I met boys who cheated me, pressured me into sex nd extreme cases make me spend on them. I lived with friends then before moving in with my aunt nd I had a wrong orientation of a relationship and marriage with my so called best friend it was more like a competition. I got things wrong all I wanted was marriage and found myself changing guys. The only good thing was that I never had sex with any of them. It became embarrassing when I moved to my aunt's place and every 6/7 months she meets different guys that claim to be my boyfriends. They even go as far as calling my mum nd introducing themselves and after some months I tell my mum it's over. My mum was supportive nd assured me that my man will find me nd not give up.
ReplyDeleteAfter a while I used my time better than sitting around trying to impress a friend who thought we were in some sort of competition. I joined the choir in my church, went for evangelism nd did some extra shifts at work went out with friends and I absolutely enjoyed my life above all I prayed for a good man. Dec 2011 went to naija to visit my parents and celebrate new year nd my pastor told me I will meet my man nd he told me 3 signs to look out for. Jan 2012 back in the UK nd I could swear it was the guy sitting next to me on the plane that was my man that was me being paranoid. March 2012 after church service I dropped a seed offering after days of fasting that same day a woman that never talks to me in church asked if I have a spouse or a bf she didn't believe I was single( was 25 then) . The next thing she told my aunt that she wants to hook me up nd my aunt told me after 3days or so. I met his(now husband) mum a week after nd people I have never seen a woman desperate to get her son married. For the signs the pastor talked about; 1: He would come in a way I dont expect. And he did I have always said I won't marry a guy younger than me. I am 2 years older than my husband. He was 23 when I met him nd I was 25. 2: Our relationship will be more of family interference. It sure was his parents are pastors nd they did all the setting up for us to meet and date. 3: He will disrespect me if we ever go sexual. He didn't touch me till we got married and yes he disvirgined me at 26. We got married October 2012 after dating for 7months. He was God's perfect gift to me. Since we got married his parents have only been to our house twice. 1: The day I moved to his house they came to bless our wedding gifts nd 2: on my birthday his mum baked a cake for me. My epistle leads to one thing. My darling use that time indoors to pray to God strike a deal with him God loves challenges. Ask him to give you a job and a man nd promise him something in return that's my little secret and it works.
For others waiting on God for a man use your time for him, wait on God he always delivers. May Almighty God give us our heart desires in Jesus name. Amen
I haven't read your comment, can u summarise it in two short sentences, pls? Haba!
DeleteU got me confused at u were pressured into sex by some bfs and den ur hubby disvirgined u after marriage
DeleteLol no mind me o English hard me speak. @anon 6:17pm n summary sometimes in life we put so much efforts in the wrong things when God has better plans for us. In his time he makes all things beautiful.
Delete@anon 6:24 sorry I didn't make myself clear pressured into sex meaning that's all they wanted nd they (ex bf's) rubbed it in my face hence why I kept breaking up with them because I wasn't ready.
Read well she was presured for sex but nvr succumb to d bfs demand.
DeleteWooow your story is similar to mine... Met my hubby to be at 25 n he was 23.
DeleteFastforward 2years we are getting married & expecting our son. I swear to never marry a man younger than me but it was too late i was deep then he confessed he lied about his age because he knew i wouldnt give him a chance. This man is perfect in everyway i thank God every day for him. He loves me to pieces and treats me like a queen. Infact i am spoilt amd his family love me.
In the past i went through hell with ex's but i tank God for giving me my own.
Lol, ts always worse wen ur sis married at a younger age, my sis is married with a cute baby boy, now am just 22, tho they r not really pushing me buh my mum keeps saying, to marry early is good oo, can't u see ur sis or she keep asking, will u like to marry like ur sis? At 24 she already have a baby! So u are not alone, smtyms I can't just face it.
ReplyDeleteJust 25 and already under pressure? Na wa o! And the worst be sai dem no allow the poor girl venture outside, so na how she wan take find husband na?
ReplyDeleteMama, Papa, take am easy o. Do not frustrate your children, so says the Good Book.
Girl, just take it easy and do not succumb to the pressure. Meanwhile, tell them you have decided to join a church group so as to get closer to God and godly people. That at least will help you get out of the house from time to time.
Cheers
My two cent...
ReplyDelete1. Marriage has nothing to do with how early or late. The best thing that can happen to you is to marry the right person at the right time. God determines the *right* in the two. So BE CLOSE TO GOD. It has nothing to do with what your parents want.
2. Get busy. Engage In activities that will add value to your life. Go for seminars, join workforce in your church/mosque, learn new skills.
3. Develop yourself, drop bad habits, be friendly and be happy. It is well with you.
Madam abeg don't bring your holier than though attitude. You got married at 21. What did you achieve before marriage and even after? Flaunting your three kids to show the best time to get married. Poster relax you will get married. Just don't listen to all these girls. you are just 25 and I think now is the proper time to start searching.
ReplyDeleteAm 30 only gal of ma 1daful family no such pressure on me, my folks nd I keep paryin to GOD cos we knw soon we shall celebrate BIG, so babes dnt rush due to d pressure on ground, cos u might rush out if u rush in, pary and believe in GOD u man wil com mosdef. Cheers dear poster.
ReplyDeleteDear don't let anybody put you under pressure, I dated a guy for almost 5yrs, things weren't working out at the later part of the relationship but I kept quite cos I was afraid of what pple will say, especially my family who insisted I marry the guy by force I had to leave in order to regain my sanity. Am not dating anyone but am happy.
ReplyDeleteIf I knew wut I know rite nw, id rada had remained single. I got married last yr to a man 15 yrs older dan me, nd dats d worst mistake ve eva med. Family pressure; ma sis older dan I am wit just a year already had 4 kids, ma younga sis wus married wit a kid, I wus ova 28, ma friends wr gettin married left,right nd centre nd all of dat. Nd today,everydy I ask myself y? Am a catholic,nd we married in d catholic church,so absolution of d marriage is out of d question. I can't standd him touchin me,infact I mek sure we hav sex onli on days wen am safe,so I don't get ppregnant,while I look for a way out,so children don't compound d issue for now. Infact d story is a long 1. My point my dear is, don't be 'pressurized' by anybody into marriage,cos @ d end of d day, na u go suffer am,na u go bear ur cross. It is me who cries everydday,it is me who can't bear his snores and bad eatin habits, it is me who suffers,not ma mum,not ma siblings,not family or 'gossipers'. Be wise! Not foolish like me. Me sef I need advice. Wut do I do now dat am in dis shit?
ReplyDeleteEhya poor u, since he's not impotent, he doesn't beat you(I guess) I think u only have a problem with his attitudes(bad eating, snoring) I'm thinking he's not as "tush" and "swagish" like the guys u dated before u married him, u don't have to leave him, u could help him to drop those attitudes that makes him "disgust" you, try helping him buy his clothes, make babies!!!! You will love him when u see those kids.
DeleteYou will get used to those things with time. I am sensing you didn't date for long. Give it time and stop comparing him with. . . . .
Deleteam i the only one with a mum that believes marriage is not about age, she sings abt how i should go into marriage when i believe i am very sure and i'v backed it up with prayers and try by all means to have something doing b4 marriage and while married, she is always saying in whatever you do your happiness is the ultimate, biko?...if you pray finish and God ans your prayers is the man supposed to scale your fence then breakdown your door?,
ReplyDeleteIn my own opinion darling u should try to love your husband I smell hatred and regret. Look out for the good things he has done nd then draw a list if the good outweighs the bad then please make your marriage work. If the bad outweighs the good look for the ones u can live with nd accept them d ones u can't live with it please tell him how u feel nd demand a change. After all u saw him, liked him and above all married him u had enough time to back out before walking down the aisle. If you learn to love him u will see the good in him.
ReplyDeletePray to God to give you "GRACE" it will go a long way. In your comment u didn't mention domestic violence, cheating or other bad habits. Snoring is a minor thing, my husband snores if u must know. I hate it but I can live with it. God heals all wounds and strengthens us to do what we can't do. It's well and u re in my prayers.
Nice
Deletechei see the huge population of girls, babes, ladies, women etc claiming to be searching na lie they are not really serious about marriage there are so many great single men out there but the women are more interested in fat wallets and deep pockets you better park well because una go tey there.
ReplyDeleteMy younger sis married 2 whole years before me but I was happy for her. It was her own turn. I had options, in fact 3 serious contenders at the time but knew in my heart that none were right for me. I'm old o lol but wonderful father told off my mum and some others. He reminded them that I lived in his house, and he clearly wasn't complaining. He told me to seek happiness above all and not rush. Just like some above, we met in the one way I had said I'd never be interested in. I was over 30 but so relaxed till he gave me a deadline to make up my mind. In fact, husband, did you jazz me? Like I said, Four Seasons. But with the right partner, it is tolerable and sometimes even enjoyable.
ReplyDeleteNice
ReplyDeleteAnnon Oct 17, 11:49am......u must really be angry with Queen Bee ooo,,,,but sincerely,,truth hurts so much but then that's the only thing that can set u free according to the scriptures.......U cant be seeing a sugar daddy and expect a young man to be around u,,,its a matter of choice,,,stick to ur sugar daddy and forget about a young guy OR stay away from ur sugar and find ur future hubby..(the choice is urs)......Queen Bee made a point i think u should ponder on.......ur sugar daddy has been having u for some time but now he suddenly sees the need for u to have a man u can call ur own,,,,my dear that's an orange light indicating GET READY TO GO.......ur sugar papa is probably eyeing a younger lady.......pls be truthful to urself. it is well!!!
ReplyDelete@Poster.....marriage is like a wedding cake,,,,its so attractive to the people outside just like wen u see a wedding cake and wen u get into it ,,,it's just like wen u cut a wedding cake,,,,u could see different layers of colours in a wedding cake.....DO NOT allow anyone not even ur parents to pressurize into falling into wrong hands,,,that will be the greatest mistake,,,get urself occupied and ur dream man is just around the corner......i got married at 26 and now am 30 with two lovely kids but that doesnt mean every girl's case will be like that.we were created differently and our destinies are different too.....keep praying and God will sure grant ur desires...
Hehehe! I m 25 n a graduate wt good prospects..my junior sis is 23 n married wt a baby..my mom prayer point in mecca dis year is dt I gt a nice responsibl man to marry me..no be say I no fine o..Any responsible muslim guy shud contact me on 28f681bc or jummy4all2love@yahoo.com ..husband come o b4 I shoot our cat..*crying*..jummy
ReplyDeletepls are you 25 or 35 cos i see no reason why you are being pressurized at 25
ReplyDeleteHi I am a friend of Jimmys Ex Fiance Kris and I have witnessed all the beatings, hackings on her computer, phones,he's been cheating ob her their whole relationship. But he's good hes a mind fucker. He did it bad to her his ex Lis and atleast 2 other Kris told me about. I promise you he's still cheating on your ass right now and if you call Kris she has names and numbers and locations. Please talk to her before you marry him or even b with him
ReplyDeleteCONT. GIRL HE'S BEEN ALREADY LYING TO YOU AND MISLEADING YOU AND HES GOING AWAY FOR SOME TIME IF I CAN TALK SOME SENSE INTO kRIS. gIRL JUST HEAR HER OUT. tHEN YOU DECIDE. sHE WILL SHOW YOU PROOF FOR ALL. sHE STILL LOVES jIM AND WANTS TO BE FRIENDS SO IF YOU CHOOSE TO MARRY THEN ITS YOUR BUSINESS BUT KNOW WHAT YOUR GOING INTO. hE HAS A BAD BAD TRACK RECORD. tHE MAN IS A CON AND LIES ABOUT EVERY THING HE SAYS. hE AND HIS FAMILY. watch OUT. jUST BE WARNED HE WILL BEAT YOU, LIE TO YOU, HE CANT BE LOYAL IF HE TRIED, AND HELL DO MUCH MUCH MORE CALL HER I AM THINKING SHE CAN TELL YA WHAT TO LOOK FOR. PLEASE JUST TAKE MY ADVICE GOOD LUCK
ReplyDeleteARE YOU EXPECTING HIS BABY GOD I HOPE NOT PLEASE CALL HER
ReplyDeleteARE U KIDDING THE MAN IS LYING HES A BROKE ASS HE ROBS DEAD PEOPLE HE DIDN'T WORK FOR THAT MONEY HE'S NO SUGAR DADDY. GIRL WAKE UP
ReplyDeleteExcuse me that was my friend and she hate Jimmy so excuse her. Jimmy and I made up so you do what ever you desire. But I need to talk to his crazy ass so please do have him call or I will be headed that way he knows with who. More lies...Not cool
ReplyDeleteu asked for it im calling pigs now
ReplyDelete