Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: An Ode To My Mama 13 Years After...Rest In Peace.

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Thursday, October 10, 2013

An Ode To My Mama 13 Years After...Rest In Peace.

A SONG DEDICATED TO MY MAMA....Loving you always is like food to my soul mama.



October is a somewhat sensitive month for me, a time of reflections and flashback...its that time of the month where i do a lot of soul searching and thank God.....its been 13 years without my mama,the woman who brought me to bed and gave me milk from her small breasts .

13 years since she untimely passed in my human eyes but God probably called her cos her time was up,i will never understand the mystery of her leaving when she did but she left when we needed her most,she left at a time when the storm was raging.she dropped like a pack of cards,without saying goodbye to any of us...She left Lagos to see her mum in Delta state but never came back alive.

i still remember looking at her lifeless body and talking to it,asking her to stop the joke and wake up...told her she had scared us enough,we had cried enough,now it was time to get up but she slept on and said nothing,i was the only one in the living room in my father's village crib and i kept talking till the pastor walked up to me and said ''she's gone,she's with the lord'' and he walked me out.

There was a multitude of people and i kept pinching myself asking what we were celebrating,there was so much to eat and drink,for some people it meant partying,for me it was pain like i had never known,fear like i had ever known...oh the pain and the dry eyed tears that refused to stop.

Mama was lowered in that box and the shock waves came..i kept crying and asking God why it happened,i feel and i was held up and words of consolation filled my ears,made me cry more and as i watched them close my mama inside that hole,something in me snapped and i told God if he was real,i told him my mama needed to wake up that minute.

I gave JEHOVAH My God an ultimatum to let my mama rise like Lazarus but i waited and waited all through the night but nothing happened....Nothing.
I kept asking God why,i kept asking but i got no answers for the pain i felt.
honestly?I walked out on God when i woke up in the morning,took a look at the hole and asked if my mama was inside there and i was told yes...i was scared my mama would be lonely and worried about us,crazy thoughts of freeing her filled my head.

In 13 years, a lot has happened.i became a woman,a mother,a wife,a better lover and maybe a better person.i became a writer that is loved and hated.heck i even became someone whose name comes up on google..ha ha!
13 years and the tears have dried but the memories linger and i ask myself where my mama is and what she is doing.

13 years and i have stopped questioning God and he has healed my heart,answered my questions and given me peace,peace of mind to free my mama.

It took the death of my mama to make me appreciate who she was but alas i couldn't tell her that i loved her,i waited too long to tell her thank you for all the times she made life worth it for me,i wasted time to buy her those little presents which makes a mother smile and appreciate their child.
I wasted time and didn't tell her how delicious her food was......i wasted time!...don't waste yours!
Today i remember my mama 13 years after her passING and i celebrate her...yes i have made her proud,she would have been if she could see me now.

I still don't like beans,i still don't eat Eba well cooked,i still cant stand salt in food,oh i still hate to cook sometimes but i only learnt to be a woman because she left.........it took her passing for me to know that to bring beans to cooking till it is soft no be joke.l ol

This may look like a rambling to anyone reading but if ya all still got your mother alive,please celebrate her whilst she lives,writing stuff like this ain't no joke.love her,tell her and make her
happy...NOW...don't wait for tomorrow like i did.

The smile of a mother is priceless....tell her so.
The food a mother cooks is the best....tell her so.
The words of a mother are annointed words on marble...make her bless you.
The arms of a mother are the warmest....hug her if shes near you.
13 years on and i use this space to celebrate the best mother who ever was,the mother who birthed a 'lion' like me. lol

Join me in thanksgiving as i celebrate my mother and the beautiful memories of her that i hold unto,join me as i celebrate COMFORT my mama.....life doesn't explain why it takes or gives but i have found peace with the knowledge that my mama is happy wherever she is and i have stopped questioning God why certain things happen.

I must confess that in 13 years,this is the first memo i will write concerning my mama that i didn't break down,my eyes are dry and my hands are not shaking.
my eyes are dry,my eyes are dry,my eyes are dry....yippee!

I will never forget my mama and i urge anyone who has lost a parent or both parents to let go of the pain and think only of the laughter they gave you.

my eyes are still dry!

Dear Mama RIP,i reminisce on all the stress i caused,i was a very stubborn and difficult child but if i knew back then what i know now.....



Thank you Lord for placing yourself in harms way,thank you for the master plan,now
i truly,truly understand,with tears in my eyes,i truly do.


In the end LOVE CHANGES EVERYTHING.....it really does!...I love you mama...always will

RIP.

70 comments:

  1. Sending love your way aunty. It is well. God will continue to comfort you

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    1. Stella you made me weep. Still weeping here...called my mum...she will be 80 next year...may our good Lord continue to keep her for us...we love you mum...
      This Ode is for Ada...kosiso and Bube's mummy...My brothers wife...my friend and sister in law...
      6 yrs ago on the 12th of October...a Friday morning...sallah holiday....I was with my bro outside the theater waiting to hear that first baby cry...it never came...suddenly everyone was running up and down..the stretcher was wheeled out without you...
      It was like a dream that morning...but in actual fact..reality...
      You left your 2 angels behind..at ages 3 and 1+..till today AFii is yet to remarry...how can he replace you...Daadaa...you were too good...an angel on earth...maybe that's why you had such short sourjourn...
      Forever 34, forever 34...
      Your 2 Angels are 9&7 yrs now...such lovely children...your daughter is just your carbon copy...with that amazing figure..you can see it even at 9!
      My darling..you always wanted them to attend corona...thats where they are.
      Nnemuo, I always tell people that you are so blessed, cos your angels are well loved and cared for by your sweetheart...we try our best to assist him too. It wasn't easy initially but God has been his strength...he actually wanted to follow you...but your angels gave him a reason to continue.
      To say we miss you ain't true...you were all about ur hubby and ur babies...I love you my wife...will always do
      Continue to rest...

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    2. This is soo touching,God bless and keep her 2 Kids.ur brother is an exceptional Man.
      Aunty Stella, Mama would be so proud of u truly, that was beautiful.
      My mum almost left me last year thru this year(early this year), she was so sick, that I get scared at night wondering if that was going to be the last night we will spend with her , God did it and she's better now, me and my mum don't have the best relationship(that mum/daughter closeness) but that periiod I knew I couldn't live without her and asked God to keep her and I promised to be a better daughter, I will be my best henceforth, I don't want to have to write memo's like this till I'm gray in the hair, and I want to be able to do it with a smile on my face knowing she lived a long and fulfilled life.Amen

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  2. I feel you girl, Lost my mum too when i needed her the most. I feel so empty without her. When i see people with their mom, i feel sad. Love you mom. Miss you so much and appreciate all your sacrifice. Carrying on, all your discipline to my own kids too. My heart still arches from pain. I feel so lost.................*crying* It is well

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  3. GALORE loves Her MUMMY10 October 2013 at 10:13

    oo dear SDK....take heart...Ur mama has gone to be with the Lord...It is well...

    I bless GOD for my mother,,I love her so very much
    I pray i have the money to take good care of her

    Above all,,,I dont have the money now to buy her the dream house ,have always wished for....
    But am glad,,,i show her Love always
    She means the world to me

    I pray,,,I will make her proud some day....Amen.

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  4. Miss Kindergarten10 October 2013 at 10:14

    Pls pardon me o madam sterra....@ first wen i saw the caption 'An Ode' to my mama...... i tot u meant 'An Ode' (MUMU) fear com catch me ooo i com dey wonder wetin u mean by dat nt until i read ur writeup! Lols!

    Hmmm....Wooow! Eeeyah!! What lovely writeup!!!

    May her soul continue to rest in peace!

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    Replies
    1. Lol @ ode

      That should make SDK smile.

      We love you SDK! I hate beans cooking too.

      You are blessed.

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  5. Wow, so touching... ..Cant imagine living without my mum

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  6. Awww stella, may God continue to be ur pillar *hugs*

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  7. Awwww, wot a Touching tribute
    As yu get older, yu appreciate your parents better, dere was a time, I couldn't stand my mum, remembering dose times now, I look stupid and fOolish...
    I love yu Mum, yu shall live to enjoy d fruit of your labour

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  8. It so touching sorry sis may her rest in perfect peace and I pray for my mother to reap the fruit of her labour over me and my younger ones may God pla spare her life for us.I love my mom so such

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  9. #Smiles @ Small breasts
    A broader smile @ partying (som ppl no de tk nose smell moimoi ooo)

    To ma-mush-ka (pet name)
    To ONLY GOOD mothers

    E ba mi kira fun mama mi
    Orisa bi iya oooo
    Ko is laye #SingsInAsa'sVoiz

    Translation
    Plz help me praise my mother.
    Dia is no oracle lik 1s mother.


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  10. Stella I hope you took care of her when she was alive- in your own little way?
    By the way Stella, are You A Witness of Jehovah?

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    Replies
    1. Anon 10:34AM, is it those group of people that claim Jesus died on an electric pole? They've also predicted the end of the world in at least 2 occasions. Yet we still de kampe. They don't have pastors, and SDK said something about her pastor.

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    2. @Memphis: Jehovah's Witnesses are they only religious group that teach the truth found in d bible abt d resurrection of the dead.
      Find this in John chapter 5 vs 28, 29 and Acts 24 vs 15

      As for dis wicked world coming to an end, read Matthew 24 vs 2-14
      All in ur own copy of d bible.
      Jehovah's witnesses haven't "predicted" anything...dat wld mean they mentioned a date. They simply tell all of a time when wickedness and d ones who perpetrate it, will be removed forever.

      @ Aunty Stella: derz hope of seeing ur mother again...just like lazarus' sisters did. All in d nearest future. Till then, I fink she'd be proud of u were she alive. U're wonderful.

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  11. May God bless her soul. Thank you so much for this reminder. I value my both parents much, I'll be going soon to abj to see them. God grant me journey mercies.

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  12. *tears* so touching stella. RIP to ur mum. GÕ̳͡D̶̲̥̅̊ bless ma mum & keep her 4me & ma siblings& ma kids. Love u crazy MUM.

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  13. I know the pain of loosing a family member cuz i lost my brother last year so i understand ur pains Stella. It is well with u. Things ll only get better...

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  14. i have tears in my eyes reading this stella! may her soul rest in peace.

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  15. I lost my brother last year so i know how it hurts. It is well with u Stella. Things ll only get better.....

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  16. awww, stella, God would continue to be your strength. Lost my dad October as well and also now a dear uncle. Indeed a sensitive October. it is well #deep sigh

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    1. Are u talking about uncle Deji? I'm still in shock about his death

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  17. Aunty Stella I can totally relate, I remember when my mom passed 4 years ago I was numb I couldn't even cry I just started walking and kept walking o till my sis came and grabbed me I fell to the ground and started wailing I couldn't believe it, even after the funeral I was still expecting her to walk through the door like she normally did after work with gist of what happened through the day. Its only God that has brought me and kept me this far and its by his mercies that I didn't lose my mind...........

    I still miss her terribly, things happen everyday that remind me of her and because we used to gist a lot, things happen that I'll just want to fill ears with but......

    I LOVE YOU MUMMY.

    REST IN PEACE.

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  18. Its so touching stella,had to call my mum after this just to tell her how much I love and appreciate her....

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  19. SDK, beautiful indeed. Thank GOD you've finally had HIS Peace to celebrate your mummy in such a happy mood.

    After The Big Guy Upstairs, there's no one like your mummy. Appreciate your mummy now and always.

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  20. Rest on Mama. It is well Stella, thank God for your life and that of your siblings.

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  21. Stella baby,It is well with you. I am sure Mama is in a good place smiling down on you and watching over you too. No harm will befall you and you will also live long to enjoy motherhood. May you NEVER be found wanting on the many many days of joys of your children.

    The lord is your muscle babygirl, God bless you abundantly.

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  22. Stella. U̶̲̥̅̊ just made ♍ε̲̣̣̣̥ remember M̶̲̥̅̊y̶̲̥̅̊ dad. RIP dad. ℓ̊ miss U̶̲̥̅̊ ℓĭkε̲̣̣̣̥ crazy. Sobs

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  23. Wow. So touching..

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  24. Th world is a lesser place without ur mum. But I know she is with God and the angels. And heaven is improved by her presence there. I know u, too, are sure of this....... And yet this knowledge can't diminish her loss...... and ur grief. With abiding respect and affection. Tony.

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  25. Lost mine 8yrs ago n still miss her so much. May God almighty continue to comfort us. Its not easy losing a mother.

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    Replies
    1. Lost my cousin and I can still feel the pain...take heart dearest Sterra, we love u. RIP to all those who lost one relation or the other...May God continue to keep us and give them enternal rest. Plz visit bondedhome.blogspot.com

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  26. Awwww....may her soul continue to rest in peace. Hugs S to D K!

    Never easy loosing a loved one. 20years would seem like a flash, like yesterday....

    She must have been a strong woman ....just like you! God knows best! Continue being strong dear.

    The good lord is your muscle! God bless you!

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  27. Lost my own mum some time ago. She also travelled and never came back alive.
    I have since become a wife and a mother and I miss her all the way. It's terrible!

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  28. I lost my mum wen I was 8,i didn't rilly understand wat it meant to loose a mother,dad has bin very great,he has also bin our mum all along and my man has bin wonderful too but d truth is,dere is no one like ones mother,so many things I want 2 share wit her,so many sacrifices a mother can make but in all, glory be to God,cont 2 rip ADERONKE,luv and miss u so much.

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  29. Stella RIP To ur mum. My heart is bleeding again after reading this, I lost my mum 4th of sep 2010 and is still like yesterday. Mummy Mu, I thank God I spent the whole 2009 with you before leaving for lagos early 2010. We were so close that even when I left we talked all nigth. You taugth what I know today about marriage and even how to deal with in laws whiCh is really
    helping me in my marriage. Oh death! Mum I missed u dearly, countinue to rest with the lord..

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  30. Continue to rest in perfect peace Mama

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  31. Can i ur pin pls @stella ....

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  32. Ve béen crying since morning cos of this post Stella...
    Lost my mum @5,
    No father , brought up by her bf who is also late ...
    N today been my birthday, It brought soo many sad memories ...
    If mama were to be here, life cldnt ve been like dis...
    My 2kids re my only source of joy.... Nothing more... Nothing , just nothing
    Mama died poor, no one to give her water, food even her medication cldn't be paid 4....
    How I wish mama waited 4 me, how I wish she held-on a bit .... Mama was ashamed to die in my presence ... Oh God ...

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  33. This ode just made me cry cos I miss my mum 2 like crazy my mum died 27th September n was buried oct 13th n its been 3 years since she left . Dis period is actually a very sensitive one 2 me n dis ode completly broke me down especially with d bebe winas song. I hope dat God will answer my prayers some day n give me d opportunity to celebrate him n my mum 4 d whole world 2 c just like u just did. My mum left when I needed her most n I feel very helpless most times n vulnerable 2 d world without her. I hope I will receive the strength dat stella just received some day so dat I will be able 2 go thru this sensitive period without tears in my eyes. Rest in peace till we meet 2 part no more.

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  34. I read this with tears in my eyes cos October is like that for me too, I lost my dad in october 14years ago. He is still the most caring man I ever met. I can't stop thinking how much I need him around. Not for money (though it would be nice) but for defence. My family has been oppressed and tossed since his death so much that sometimes I wonder if being fatherless is a disease or a curse. I dread talking to his ffamily so much that ive been stalling my wedding. If you have parents, be grateful and love them.

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  35. it is well with u Stella, just try and be d best mum u can to ur children. reminded me of what happened during one of my son's Christmas party at school and parents were asked if they know their children, we were asked a lot of questions like their favourite cartoons, food etc and I was asked who is His best friend was, I mentioned someone I knew was close to him. I was wrong, my son actually said I am his best friend, it was so amazing to realize that he chose me as his best friend, I cried that day, the teachers were all consoling me. We mothers shall not labour in vain.

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  36. Very touching Stella. Wish you all the best.

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  37. my father abandoned my mum and I, and my mum is d best mother in the world, the sacrifices she has made for me, sometimes i fight with her and later i ask myself why? if anything happened to her, im most def going with her, she is my world. d only person that loves me unconditionally. we r both broke and someone dashed her 55k yesterday, because i am in a far country she gave me 50k and kept 5k for herself. i just pray God will bless me so i can wipe away her tears and sufffering. thats my only prayer

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  38. take heart, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord

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  39. I lost my dad 9yrs ago and since then it has not been easy but God has been faithful. Sdk may her soul continue to rest in d lord, AMEN.

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  40. Stella,ur post brought tears 2 ma eyes, it made me realise hw special parents r 2 dier children...............I love ma mum n dad......May ur mum's soul rest in peace........Lynda( First tyme commentin)

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  41. Touching writeup Stella I have been shedding silent tears since i started reading this,had to pick up the phone to call my mom to say hello again,its funny because i still spoke with her on saturday. I just relocated to Germany over the weekend to join hubby and what she wanted was for her to hear from hubby n I every weekend,had to pick up the phone now and just hear her voice when i read this. Before i left Nigeria for the 2nd time i just felt like giving mom everything I had,i kept giving and giving and she wanted me to stop but i could not,i felt that would feel the void of my leaving her to a far away land again but it can't. Mothers are the best and they deserve all our love and attention while we still have them around,may God keep my mother for me,I love u mom,u are the best. May God keep you long so u can keep eating the fruit of ur labour,AMEN.

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  42. RIP mama! Stella may God continue to be your strength. It is well! I can't live without my mum, God in heaven knows!

    Visit koolblend.blogspot.com for true life stories you can't afford to miss.

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  43. SDK do take heart ok its a phase or shld I say a price we all hve to pay for our sinful state which we inherited frm our first parents,its pity do take heart nd let fun nd fond memories of her make u strong ok.take heart.u wil get to see ur mum in d near future when our dead loved ones wil be resurrected by our heavenly father Jehovah ok
    @memphis Jehovah's witness NEVER! NEVER!! ever predicted d world coming to an end at any given time they only made clear understanding of d signs dat wil indicate d end of dis wicked system of things which lies in d power of d wicked one Satan d devil nd pls our lord JESUS wasn't hung on any pole but on a torture stake
    Pls nxt time @memphis get ur facts right before saying dis nd dat about Jehovah's witness pls cos am proud nd happy I belong to d ONE TRUE organisation pls feel free to join us in our meetings at d kingdom hall to hear listen nd get more knowledge nd incite as to how d organisation gets thr true facts wth d aid of d bible
    Am sure thrs a kingdom hall in ur area so pls its an open invitation to all other visitors of SDK

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  44. SDK do take heart ok its a phase or shld I say a price we all hve to pay for our sinful state which we inherited frm our first parents,its pity do take heart nd let fun nd fond memories of her make u strong ok.take heart.u wil get to see ur mum in d near future when our dead loved ones wil be resurrected by our heavenly father Jehovah ok
    @memphis Jehovah's witness NEVER! NEVER!! ever predicted d world coming to an end at any given time they only made clear understanding of d signs dat wil indicate d end of dis wicked system of things which lies in d power of d wicked one Satan d devil nd pls our lord JESUS wasn't hung on any pole but on a torture stake
    Pls nxt time @memphis get ur facts right before saying dis nd dat about Jehovah's witness pls cos am proud nd happy I belong to d ONE TRUE organisation pls feel free to join us in our meetings at d kingdom hall to hear listen nd get more knowledge nd incite as to how d organisation gets thr true facts wth d aid of d bible
    Am sure thrs a kingdom hall in ur area so pls its an open invitation to all other visitors of SDK

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  45. May Mama continue to rest in peace.

    Can you put up her picture, Stella?

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  46. To all those on here, who has lost their mum, dad, brother or sister.....may God comfort you from the depth of your hearts, may his perpetual light shine upon the rest of your household...and may death be far from you and your loved ones until we all have lived long and fruitfully on earth.
    God bless every heart that bleeds through this post. Amen!

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  47. Hmmmm...this is beautifully written. May her soul continue to rest in peace. Take heart Stella dear.

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  48. 'O' so so sorry about the loss, I can't even imagine what you went through that period but as the word says it is well. May God keep comforting you and May her soul continuously rest in peace
    chi

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  49. Stella just like you MY DEAREST AMAZING MOTHER DRIFTED TO HEAVEN ON OCTOBER,10 2000. EXACTLY 13 YEARS TODAY....SHE WAS JUST 49...I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL. I AM THE BABY IN THE FAMILY...I AM HER BABY. I miss everything about HER Gosh. The love, the care, the attention, the sacrifice, the suffering...yeah the suffering and sacrifice are countless...A widow of seven with nothing but a civil servants income. Yet she did it ALL.... I MISS HER, I MISS HER O GOD DO I MISS HER. #wipetears# Yes I still see HER she is on my mind everyday...and always in my dreams ( if only she's here to love, chastise and celebrate her little girl like she used to). No one is here to celebrate my little efforts :'(

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  50. Anon 2:30pm, God has heard your prayers. He says that you will have cause to shout for joy in the nearest future. Your mum will be blessed beyond measure. May God bless all the mothers, mine inclusive.

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  51. SDK,I knw ow u feel.Lost my mum 4yrs ago and I mst confess it hz not bin easy buh God ll continue to comfort.

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  52. Awwwww so touching......... May mama soul continue to rest in peace and not in pieces

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  53. Pele o Stella, Mat her soul continue to rest in peace.

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  54. may his perpetual light shine on your mom and may she continue to rest in the Lord,and to all those that have lost someone it is well,God shall heal your hearts and continue to keep the dead in his bosom.

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  55. Oh dear! I wept when i read this, its so touching. Hnmm, i love ♍γ̲̣̣ mum to heaven and bak, i wonder ђã† i wld do without her. She's d strongest woman i know, a woman who can work her last strenght out, just to support her family, d most hardworking woman i know on earth, God, ♍γ̲̣̣̥ mother is D̸̸̮̮̃ best. I also love ♍γ̲̣̣̥ grandmum ( maternal) she's a lovely woman, n very strong. I never met ♍γ̲̣̣̥ fathers mum, but heard she was a wonderful creature too. Iv bn blessed with wonderful women in ♍γ̲̣̣̥ life, and dats y i have no reason to be a failure. ♍γ̲̣̣̥ mum is ♍γ̲̣̣̥ darling, a woman i look up to, a woman that can stand under any heavy rain or sun 4 her family, a God fearing woman, she's strait 4ward, strict, and also loving. I Love u mum, will neva ake those words 4 granted again, n will always tell her often from today how much i love her. Infact running of to give her a peck and tell her i love her. *running*. Kisses.

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  56. Stella may your mama's soul continue to rest in peace,amen.A woman appreciates her mother more when she becomes one,the rigors of motherhood is superb.

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  57. I have tears in my eyes too stella, cos my mama was never there eventhough she is still alive. But i have wonderful people (aunt) that i called mama.
    Thank you for this piece.
    ME

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  58. I'm so touched.May ur mum and all others who have lost their mum.May the souls of all the departed rest in perfect peace(Amen).pls I need people to advice me.Growing up me and my mum weren't close but this days I'm trying to build a steady n loving relationship with her,we usually quarell I get real mad @ her n go on 4 days without talkin 2 her,I hated this I so much hated this cos I knw deep down in my hrt dat I so much love her bt scared 2 show it.I'm the only daughter n I knw we re supposed 2 b very close bt I dn't really knw wat is wrong jst recently we quarelled again and I said dis painful words"I knw u hate me"but hw can she hate me?hw can a woman who only what she does n thinks of is to give I n my brothers a good life?how can a woman who wants me 2 stand out amongst my peers hate me?how can woman who slept on the floor for days with me @ d hospital hate me?how can a woman who sees her beauty in me,prefers luking old n trashy n would spend her last dime for me 2 luk beautiful?how can she hate me???we have always quarelled but she has never kept malice with me but this time even though I've tearfully apologised she still won't talk 2 me.I swear I luv my mum,I jst dn't knw wat 2 do.

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  59. I'm so touched.May ur mum and all others who have lost their mum.May the souls of all the departed rest in perfect peace(Amen).pls I need people to advice me.Growing up me and my mum weren't close but this days I'm trying to build a steady n loving relationship with her,we usually quarell I get real mad @ her n go on 4 days without talkin 2 her,I hated this I so much hated this cos I knw deep down in my hrt dat I so much love her bt scared 2 show it.I'm the only daughter n I knw we re supposed 2 b very close bt I dn't really knw wat is wrong jst recently we quarelled again and I said dis painful words"I knw u hate me"but hw can she hate me?hw can a woman who only what she does n thinks of is to give I n my brothers a good life?how can a woman who wants me 2 stand out amongst my peers hate me?how can woman who slept on the floor for days with me @ d hospital hate me?how can a woman who sees her beauty in me,prefers luking old n trashy n would spend her last dime for me 2 luk beautiful?how can she hate me???we have always quarelled but she has never kept malice with me but this time even though I've tearfully apologised she still won't talk 2 me.I swear I luv my mum,I jst dn't knw wat 2 do.

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