You have a good job and you feel good leaving the home everyday to your place of work but your man doesn't feel a woman should work...he feels her place is in the kitchen tending to her family.
He wakes up one day and tells you to quit the job,you look at him in shock trying to see if he is joking but he isn't.
Not quitting means trouble. quitting means you become dependent on him even when in some cases what he has cannot keep the home front going financially.
What do you do when you are faced with this decision?
Staying at home means the devil finds job for an idle mind?
has any woman been faced with this decision?did you manage to talk him out of it?
what did you do?
praise d Lord......., 1st to comment space booked...
ReplyDeleteHus dis frog? Pls jump back to linda's blog dats where kids like u play.dnt bring dis annoying first to comment shit here.if uve gat nothing to say STFU!
DeleteExactly!
DeleteWho i̶̲̥̅̊s̶̲̥̅̊ dis okoro boy playing with G̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡D̶̲̥̅̊ name?
DeleteI dey crase? No man can tell me to quit my job. Never nt in dis life. I will never agree to dat. It happened to a friend of mine, nw she is deeply regretting it everyday of her life. She was a banker. Her husband told her to quit and take care of d children. He promised her heaven and earth. And she agreed. Few months later, d husband was sacked frm work. Nw d both of dem are sufferin with d children. Hell no! I won't leave my job 4 a man.
ReplyDeleteThis one is Single.....
DeleteBebe
This one is Single.....
DeleteBebe
Mayb ur frend no read d passage of d bible wey tlk say heaven nd earth will pass away.....as for me ooo, even if am dangote+gate, cnt stand an idle wife
Delete@ Bebe. Yes am single, independent and happy. I don't wait 4 any man to make decisions 4 me. I know what is gud 4 me and what I want to achieve. Aint gonna let any man stop me. SHIKENA.
DeleteAm married with kids and NO, won't take that from ny hubby. He can't even suggest it. This is an issue you agree on long before marriage so you don't find yourself in this situation. Ladies, NEVER agree to leave your job. Never be dependent on your man, trust me, you WILL regret it.
DeleteAm married with kids and NO, won't take that from ny hubby. He can't even suggest it. This is an issue you agree on long before marriage so you don't find yourself in this situation. Ladies, NEVER agree to leave your job. Never be dependent on your man, trust me, you WILL regret it.
DeleteWhen I was younger I said if I find myself in this situation I would gladly accept it, cos then I thought life was that simple, but if my Man is insisting it means one thing that he can comfortably pay me monthly ,not feeding allowance o, Salary.. A salary befitting my qualifications.cos I didn't go to school to learn how to tend to his needs and to cook
ReplyDeleteShe is also single....
DeleteBebe
LOL Bebe abeg no use laugh kill me. Single females be having the sharpest mouths until life humbles them.
DeleteBebe pls shut up, Marriage isnt everything.
DeleteLmfao bebe ooooh
DeleteI face the exact same thing. So we came to an agreement... I started getting my masters degree online and started a small online business. :) its all about finding the right way to get what you want. Anyway, love your blog stella.
ReplyDeleteSweet@rt pls help a sis in nid. What type of online biz b dt. Am in dr nid of 1. Meanyl u r so lucky oooo bt u stil neva bcome full housewife
DeleteWell said!
Delete@miiiii i was very careful about it. You know men like to be the head. You need to stroke thier ego. The whole point of being a housewife is to be at home when he gets back. Lol... i ran a little marketing consulting company online. trust me there are sooooo many opportunities around. You know your husband...u know what makes him tickle. mine likes to feel like he is the only thing in the world. I make him feel like superman..and then put the idea of schooling and working online in his head. In the end he suggested it like it was his idea. Looll... im sure when u sit down and draw a plan.. u would find a way...no one knows ur husband but u.. goodluck
DeleteTanx jawe
Delete@anon 1:18pm, u r the kind of woman that knows how to take control without a fight, the kind of woman most men need, intelligent and smart not the rigid kids we have all around.
DeleteI know a girl whose husband asked her to quit her bank job because he thought he was doing good enough for both of them and thought he could sustain the family alone. Kasala come burst. Things come change. Come and see wailing and gnashing of teeth. A girl who was carrying all d designer bags and trendy stuff come begin fly keke napep. She had no choice but to start petty trading. The man isn't back on his feet till my next full stop. She suffer no be small.
ReplyDeleteif you are a wife who listens to those kind of instruction and requests because I no get that kind time. any male specie I ever dated and even the one I'm married to knows how much i like money and material things. If you aint buying it then I'd buy my shit. So I always have to work. What you can do is find something else to do that can keep you in d house eg, you can sell jewellery even without your husband knowing because anything can happen. Ehn like my mum will say "A di ama ma, o gwa o" in other words Onitsha gwalu obosi."
Also women should try and have "Hand Work". Hand work!!! Saving families since 200BC.
My dear, you are so on point. Please tell them.
DeleteNoo! Its obosi gwalu onitsha *wink*
DeleteThank God I didn't marry a dictator. We discuss things over in my home and make decisions together so I don't have any input on this.
ReplyDeleteSo a man that's not so financially stable can demand that his wife stops working? Such women have my sympathy but I guess they must have seen the handwriting on the wall
I will not quit but take leave for a month or two paid or unpaid without telling him. In that month I will nag him tire call him several times a day because I am bored and I miss him staying all alone at home. Ask him for money for the smallest of things like salt, In fact ask him for money every single day when he leaves for work.. If he gives me a weekly shopping allowance I will make sure I finish it in one day and keep asking him for more. Every now and then when he wants to have sex I will tell him I am too tired from all the house chores I had to do since now that am a stay at home wife it doesn't make sense to have a househelp. I will spend his money recklessly in that month and if he refuses to give me some more report him to his people and my people. Infact he will even come back home once in a while to find me unkempt and smelling of sweat because he refused to give me money to buy deodorant and do my hair. I will not reveal all I would do here but trust me by the time that month is over he will be begging me to look for work even if it is part time if not have gotten me a new job already. It is at that point that I will tell him that I will speak to my old boss and see if they can take me back and go back to work *evil grin*
ReplyDeleteYou are such a child. Start thinking like an adult
DeleteNo, she isn't a child, she is wise.
DeleteGenius
DeleteSmart
DeleteYou are smart and naughty. I've learnt from you..
DeleteLolest!u cracked me up walahi!
Delete@anon 2:04,shes not a child but a very wise woman.
Infact will adopt dat style just incase #it can't even happen to me#
Anon 1:24, I'm laughing like an insane person. Ua soooo damn funny. Love ur response, babe!
DeleteI am laughing my ass off in a restaurant and people are staring at me like am crazy!.......u r so smart and naughty. Am totally going to adopt your plan.
Deletehmmm can't wait to read the comments. Tough one. I can't imagine my hubby telling me to quit my job cos I love it so much. Telling your wife to quit her job just because you believe a woman's place is in the kitchen is wrong,she can never be happy being a house wife. some men do it because they are insecure and don't trust their wife.
ReplyDeleteHe has to choose either the marriage or me plus my job.if my Dad allowed my mum grow through the ranks until retirement,then am waiting for that bushman to suggest I jump off a professional ladder I climbed (almost at the pinnacle),for whatever marital excuse.It ain't happening! Infact,it won't even come up for discourse. Everyman knows his woman.Her strength, limitations,irritations,weaknesses excesses,tolerance level etc.He works with these parameters. From the on set of a relationship,be yourself! When u say yes to everything because you need to get married,it becomes a tug of war when you try to assert yourself in that marriage. Women married to men in forbes list,work too.So let no man trouble any woman.If the job is too demanding,a flexible alternative must be adopted. No woman should be idle.Some widows can tell you the consequences of being full time housewives because Late 'oga' told them to play their role as kitchen custodians. Most Men who ve gone through dry spells financially,managed to keep up appearances because their wives stood in the gap! This is the 21st century.With global recession and life's hard~knock lessons,am shocked the issue of women working or otherwise,is still contentious.
ReplyDeleteCan I be your friend?
Deleteneed to tap into that brain of yours
U don talk A̶̲̥̅♏ finish babe..Love Ʊ for this comment(and so many other highly intelligent ones Ʊ make) #no homo#
DeleteI love you WIDE EYED.
DeleteI love u wide eyed ... Can I b ur friend plssss.
DeleteAny man dat tells u to stop doing wht u love doing for whatever reason on earth doesn't love u. Dats my two cents. As for me I can never n wont quit my job for any man born of a woman. If na divorce we go divorce. I wont be d first or last. Life goes on. My happiness comes first before anything I do. Call me selfish I don't care. Learnt d hard way.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest i wont quit the job. Me quitting my job means he has to have loads of money that he doesn't know wat to do with, so at least i can set up something which won't take so much of my time. But if he is a regular comfortable guy earning a normal salary, i'm not quitting so he had better call both umunna and umunne because i'm very ready for whatever trouble he brings up. I can't suffer doing masters and all other qualifications i have just to get my dream job and repay my parents and one man will wake up on the wrong side of his bed one morning and ask me to quit it. Ashi ashi! The trouble that'll i'll make will tie wrapper with body magic under sef. I don talk my own finish. That's all!
ReplyDeleteEven if he has all †ђξ money in dis world.,i will never quit ma job..Ma hubby knew †ђξ stress i went tru in Law school so he won't even dare to ask ♍ε̲ to quit ma job.,a job i L♥√ع with all ma heart!!Odiegwu
DeleteYou Ladies are smart and intelligent, as well as humorous ! You cracked me up real good ! I love that ! @call both Umunna and Umunne, @will tie wrapper with body magic under sef........ Loooooool !!! Kudos Ladies !
DeleteI do not have experience in this matter and do not wish to. But I would suggest the wife seek counsel from God-fearing reasonable men/women who can also speak with her husband and make him see her point of view.
ReplyDeleteBut I really believe that this is one of the things that should be sorted out before the wedding day o. Couples should always clarify these things abeg.
Its my first time commenting on ur blog SDK. Your blog has very mature contents. Kudos to you and may God keep blessing you. Don't relent on ur oars.
ReplyDeleteNow to d post, I have never been in dat shoes and don't pray to be in it. Haba after all d suffering in sch, husby will now ask me to be a house wife. I don't pray to fall in dat shoes biko.
SDKers, pls I need you help. We all know dat saying about "an idle mind being the devils workshop". I just finished from Law school and won't be going to serve until March 2014 which means Oct to Feb are gonna be idle months 4me. I'm tired of being idle. Is there anyone out there who is willing to employ a law graduate or willing to hook me up wif someone who's willing to employ me. I can do any kinda job being dat I'm jus a law graduate .Pls I'd appreciate if someone decides to help me so I don't become d devils instrument. Thank u all.
if i get married and my husband wants me 2 quit my job..no problem na. Na to open boutique 4 me or supermarket.chikena. No be afta d struggling n cane way i chop 4 sec sch i go cum stay house dy wash man clothes.kpom
ReplyDeleteI have a frnd whose elder sis was married married to a Zenith bank manager and he asked his wife to stop work. Imagine bank manager since the 90's, he was rich but neva knew wat the future holds. Along the line the idiot bank manager died and he left his wife and kids in abject poverty. If u see this classic woman is now a street woman, her parents and siblings are the ones taking care of them now. Wat a world. Men can be wicked sha....#alinko
ReplyDeleteWhen a man doesn't want u to work, he will make life miserable for u till u get d msg. Mine did and I quit my job to save my marriage. I was totally dependent on him for years. I was subjected to all forms of humiliation until d marriage packed up. Now, am jobless and I regret quitting my job. Things we do to please our men!
ReplyDeleteNa wa o! As if he paid your school fees
DeleteChai! Loose job, loose marriage. I don't envy you. D man probably never loved you. It is well, ma'am.
DeleteLeave my Job! NO odiro possible
ReplyDeleteI will never try that! Infact this cannever be a topic for discussion in my home. Every man knows the kind of woman he is married to. This is y u don't take down hook and sinker wat ever shit a man spews with his mouth esp during courtship. No matter how wealth he is I can ner become a house wife. I have always been a very hard working and dependent lady, marriage will be to my favor and not sorrow. Amen
ReplyDeleteIt's not all tales of woe please! Had to stay home for four years, in that time hubby and I bonded like never before, saved our marriage. Now I am back to work and the children are well settled. Each circumstance , is different.
ReplyDeleteJst tel him "U mst b joking"!!!
ReplyDeleteQuit my job fa????
ReplyDeleteNonsense. Only an insecure man would tell u to quit ur job and stay in the kitchen so that u tend always to his needs and he lords his financial muscle over you.
Thank God for my husband o. Fine he no fine. Sexy mbanu. He come short join. But the guy knows the value of educating a woman and letting her achieve her full potentials. Adejoke
=))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º=))
DeleteAny man that demands that his wife quits working just like that is very wicked and insensitive. I will rather he suggests and help fund a business that will allow her have more time for the family.
ReplyDeleteI remember while growing up my dad use to be broke sometimes but we hardly notice because mum always backed him up till things gets better. Could she have done that if she had no source of income?
Some men should stop being insensitive and unresonable and face reality. Anything can happen. Things can change for the man. The man might even die and his relatives might strip the wife of everything, it happens a lot. But if she has her own source of income, she can at least provide for herself and the kids. And I also advice men whose wifes are still students or still searching for a job to try and be giving her monthly allowance, this should be different from house keeping money. It helps make the woman happier. Nothing like knowing you have some money in the bank. This will ananle her to be able to buy 1 or 2 things once in a while for herself and the family and still be able to send to her people without disturbing you. Everyone likes to be financially independent abeg. Marriage is not slavery. We should always consider our partners feelings.
If the man can pay me double what i am earning why not, but he better think well because at this point in my life, my life style is very very expensive and classy. My oga at the top wont even dream of such because him know how much dey roll into my acct. every month.
ReplyDeleteWomen open your eyes well!!!!! stop work for what? My husband is wealthy and generous however he has always told me that I must have something doing at all times. The businesses I had prior to marriage he insisted that I must maintain. On top of it he gives me small small work to do.
ReplyDeletePlease ladies do not let any man deceive you. Your financial independence is part of what attracted the man to you. I beg you.
It works for some ppl. My cousin hus asked her to stop working and she did,they are happy with their children but she later learnt decoration, she now makes her money and also gives her time for the children and hus.@first daughter
ReplyDeleteIf I have to quit my job it would be my own decision and not my husband's decision and I doubt if its gonna be possible for me to decide to quit my job to become a housewife. But if its necessary for u to quit ur job to save your marriage then your husband must allow you and also assist u in starting your own business so that u won't be idle and also for u to have ur own source of income and the business must be in your name!. No matter how much ur husband earns or how rich he is, there's nothing like being financially independent. What if your husband looses his job or dies, then what happens?
ReplyDeleteLastly, Its advisable that during courtship u discuss this with your partner.
Wide eyed ur an angel indeed I want to be ur friend too.u just spoke nd conveyed d right msg nd wth confidence too.no MAN has d right to ask or tell his wife woman to quit her job except he d husband can foretell d future or quarantee me d future of me nd my kids is well secured even after he dies though I don't pray for such then I quit but until then HELL NO.
ReplyDeleteLike a commentator said "she is single"its out of d question its just been who u r
Omo! That's a pretty long thing! Full time house what? It's ain't happening..... It's just not possible.... So i actually went through school to study home-ology all in the name of "i wanna please my hubby"..... He didn't send me to school, my parent did....and if i wasn't educated, he wouldn't be attracted to me in the first place.... So it's no issue at all.... Am gonna work! Elxcuse me?....I-dey-pay-my-tax!(In Jenifa's voice)
ReplyDeleteSTELLA, you are a very creative woman, always seeking out ways to make your blog engaging and interactive, dont rest on your oars. Be yourself and to all those saying stella is not classy, what are you doing in a local blog? Alleast she is not forming oyibo which many of you are faking. Calling stella ugly at the slightest provocation is getting out of hand, how many of you can create a human being and also breathe in life into the person. You will answer for a every idle word spokon on the judgement day. Stella never believe in your mind that you are ugly or you will also answer for every thought and motive of the heart. We are beautifully made by God and none of us can make the hairs on our head. God bless us all. Happy sunday. Elizabeth B.
ReplyDeleteTrue talk my dear.. No man can create a strand of hair..Micheal jackson wey go fix fake hair for ontop the skull wey God give am, whr is he today?
DeleteIF a lady find herself in such dilemma, the way out is simple.IF the job interest is on finance; you quit but a calling to upgrade mankind[not religion] ;divorce.
ReplyDeleteStella thanx for this one.my neighbour is currently goin thru dis as I write to u.she is a qualified nurse oh .pretty you g chic.dey got married like 2yrs back.all of a sudden we noticed she stopped wrk all thanx to d proud man shes married dat thinks he hasplenty mny to fend for his family.to cut mata short sha nw d once upon a time rich man is nw a cabu cabu driver.d wife jst pit to bed deir second baby pple practically contributed to bail her frm d hospital.deir first child is at home no mny to go to skul.ive nt seen dat man dat'll tell me to quit ma job.ma dad tried it on ma mum too thank God she dint listen to him cos ma mum practically saw us all thru d uni all by herself cos dads business crumbled md she rings it everyday into our ears neva quit ur job cos of ur husband.its nt even possible I love money nd fine tins nd I dnt want to hear story wen I need smfin.so lemme kip my job nd be able to buy dese stuffs for myself.
ReplyDeleteYou discuss these things before marriage. If he changes his mind, he should be willing to refund my family all the money they spent putting me through school. Yes, I could start a business but lets be honest...it would have to be a shop or something that is not too demanding. If I wanted to be an employer of labor. I would still have to work like a 9-5er (heck even more). If he says his salary can sustain both of us, I will ask him about my family's upkeep. All you married women, despite cleaving to your husbands, no forget your own parents o. They should reap the fruit of their labor. Some people say their mothers utmost joy is to see them married...to that I say tah.
ReplyDeleteAnyway Aunty Stella, my husband would hopefully have a rethink biko. I try my best to raise my babies right and keep him happy. I did not marry him to become his housewife. The only way I might quit is if he is need of full attention due to a debilitating illness.
That one don jam rock o, me can't fit to stop work o! Though am jobless at the moment due to relocation. Na me and hubby dey find work for me, cos seeing me at home is making him sad as am not as active as I used to be and taking it all out on him. Those of u ladies doing online biz pls introduce me na.
ReplyDeleteSLK
@ wide eyed am a guy, don't kw who ure but I want 2 tape into dis ur deep sabiness if u guy 5n,if na babe even beta abeg see mail dominicani45@yahoo.com make we chat ciao
ReplyDelete@ Wide eyed make connect cos I nid dis ur sabiness it deep sha weda na babe/guy I twale 4 u see mail dominicani45@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteOnly insecure men with a complex tell their wives to quit working!
ReplyDeleteBut most times,intending couples should discuss this issue and clear the air about the job thing, also even during family introduction before marriage,the bride's family should re-emphasize that they need their daughter to work!cos then if u sense the guy is that kind of insecure person,hmmmm u find ur square root(leave d relationship)!
As small as it seem,this is causing a lot of tension in some homes!yes its worth leaving the relationship for,some men are wicked ehn!
They will make a woman leave her job,just so they can be in control and continue to oppress her in the marriage.
Women know dat if u are not working,u don't have a say in ur home,his family will treat u as shit dats if they don't link ur whole existence on earth' to their son's money.
No woman should agree to being housewife in this 21st century,at most have a trade!
But also,some women don't help out in the home with their earnings,they only use it to buy designer bags and hair,so the man will definitely not see it as an addition to him.hence he can tell u to leave the job!
As for me,my leaving the job is not even a topic of discussion in my home cos my hubby knows how helpful I have been in the home,unto job dey pass job na..infact he prays for me against conspirators in my office,cos what he makes in a month(as gud as his job is),i can make in one day.#well no bragging intended#ok bye.
i'm still single sha... but if he insists, he should be ready to pay me 500k monthly plus pension too...
ReplyDeleteset up shop for me, attatch 3 house help to the house...
*Cheechee...
....but why should a man demand that his wife quits her job? Family? Insecurity? Jealousy?
ReplyDeleteNo man has the right to stamp a foot on this. Its a matter meant to be discussed and a consensual agreement reached.
If you do not want her to work based on whatever, (maybe family reasons, time for the kids and all....)set up a good business for her.
A woman being idle isn't a way forward.
My hubby is just a regular guy with a regular job. We live in abuja. He asked me to quit my job. Im a senior banker. Told him I was more than willing to quit cos even the pressure at work was too much. I asked he should just pay for 2 yrs rent at a mall in maitama and give me 10m to start the bizness. That was d end of the quit ur job saga. Na where him wan see d money give me. The matter died a natural death.
ReplyDeleteLmmmaaaaoooooo. Niiiccceee oneee.
DeletePahahahahHahahahhz lwtmy.sharp babe! D mata lost sharperly
Deletehmmm! d kind of bf i have that is so stingy...i can never quit for anyone, someone that said we would have joint account when we get married,i just dey look d guy...let that time come,come and carry me...nonsense!
ReplyDeleteJoint acct?
DeleteIf I hear?#picks shoes and runs away#
NB:most men only ask for joint acct if they don't bring in the bulk sum else they never will agree to it!
I can never forget my mums advise to my sister inlaw b4 she married my brother. In her words " do not quit ur job for him ooo, he is my son but he is still a man. When u quit ur job now is when he will start tellin you dt ur body cream is too expensive, use Vaseline. He will tell you to plait ur hair and not fix good hair. U will lose ur shine and become miserable." Still rings a bell in my head. If she told ds to her sons wife, I wonder d much she'll tell me wen its my time to be married.
ReplyDeleteFast forward, when my brother started tellin her to quit her job, she quickly told my mum and they both persuaded him in their ways nd he slowly changed his mind.
This quit ur job issue is very common among d oil workers. They believe their wives should not work, yet they don't give them money to take care of themselves or money to start up a reasonable business. They buy their wives a brand new car to drive around so that she will be envied by her peers who do not know any better. SMH
ReplyDeleteEven if u are Dangote + Coscharis join with Pascal Dozie dont try that robish with me. Cos idleness is a punishment, u either teach me ur line of biz lets manage it or u come bk also to become a house hubby. By the time u stay for 1 month then u tell me ur experience gbam.
ReplyDeleteI Was an unemployed graduate when I met my husby. Searched for job for like 5 years, nthg came up. He came into my life at a point I was at a crossroad; should I continue searching or go into business, he encouraged me to stop searching and be self employed, he also assisted by investing in my business. Years later, I av 3 stores at different locations, and still welcoming new ideas, and he's still ready to invest. He has never asked how much I make from d stores, at times, he even assist in paying d staff whenever am short of cash. Moreso, he takes good care of me and d kids.
ReplyDeleteSo my take on the issue is, if he asked u to stop working, then he shud provide an alternative. It might not necessarily mean one will be a Sit-at-Home mum, buh u will av sumthg handy to do and be financially independent, as well as taking care of the family, which I guess is d reason a husband will ask his wife to stop working in d first place.
I stayed at home for 7 yrs cos my hubby asked me too. I spent dat time getting my masters, keeping my brains sharp by reading everything available. I showed interest in his business and asked lots of questions about his job. I got involved in church activities. This made him realise dat he had an intelligent woman at home using her brains for church things. Everybody kept telling him what a bundle of talent his wife was. 2 yrs ago, my hubby called me and told me i was not being a backuP for him. He told me, i was spending my time doing my own thing. He then asked me to formally join his company and work for him. Afterall, all d kids were in school.i refused, telling him i enjoyed being a full time housewife. He had to beg and call our parents. I then gave him my terms. We became co signatories to all company accounts, he was chairman and i was vice chairman. He was in charge of getting contracts and operations while i handled finances and admin. I give him maximum respect at work and address him as sir. I try not to bring domestic matters to d office. This has been working well for 2yrs now and i just thank God i agreed to quit my job then. It saved my marriage and now i am also involved in a fast rising business. My hubby see me as an equal now and we spend more time together.
ReplyDeleteAm sorry but my husband wouldn't even dare bring such up. He ma knows I will tell him when he quits his job first, then I can consider quitting mine. No messing around it sef. Which kain! Lmao. Just the tot of be is amusing me. Sha, the men who ask for this know the kain wives dem marry. No be everyone u fit talk dis kain thing to.
ReplyDeleteIn this present era and economy? Soaring cost of living? No way! I will refuse!
ReplyDeleteWhat happens discussing and agreeing with a man on future plans??? No wonder lots of you girls end up with too many issues. Few men would "order" a woman to quit her job, it is usually some form of discussion between couples.
ReplyDeleteOnly stiff necked women make this a big issue, I have been chasing my wife around to find work but she wont. SImply because I carry all the load, neck dey pain me. I need help oh, make una help me beg her abeg!
wide -eyed love ur comments! u r a very smart woman! keep it up
ReplyDeleteI pray to you Lord that my story ends well. I need a job and have been searching since I got married 3 years ago. It hasn't been easy. Even though I have been doing my masters on the side, it's not easy being idle.
ReplyDeleteMy mum has always hammered it in our ears never to solely dependent on our husbands. She was a full time housewife for almost 15yrs, till my dad grudgingly opened a small shop for her, yrs later when tins were so tough and dad was ill, dat small shop became our saving grace. Even after Dad passed away, mumsy put 5 of us thru Uni from dat same small shop. So just imagine if she were a housewife, I might have been one apprentice in a tailoring shop by now. Am married now and I work, my younger sis is also married and working. Infact her wedding was delayed by one year cos mumsy refused to allow her get married immediately after service, she was lucky she got a bank job soon after. So any man that tells u to quit ur job is not very wise cos no one knows what 2moro will bring. Lady E
ReplyDeleteMy other was on level 12 in d civil,service shortly after I was born. My dad relocated and couldn't wait for her to transfer and he selfishly told her to resign. As a submissive wife, she did. We suffered! Suffered!! Suffered!!! After my dad's financial house collapsed, at a point he had to drive bus btwn routes in Lagos, just for us to feed. My mums juniors are now major directors now, some have retired after setting up their kids. Me im here suffering as if i have parents in d village. Things have picked up now, cos we have struggled thru and are all grown up. My own is, I'm educated and I also have 'handwork' if i have a job that is intimidating u, give me capital to start my biz. Until I see DT capital, I move nowhere. No man can sweet talk me. Never! Or else, let d marriage be. After all, single mums are everywhere. One day, u will look,for me and the kids. Cos I have promised myself to be successful through hard work. And no one can stand in my way. My husband had better be hungry for success too and lets work towards it together. Or, u shift and go and marry that girl from,ur village. My children will never go thru wat I and my siblings went thru.
ReplyDeleteStella oohh! Thanks for posting. Guess what? Just got a text from,some multinational. Attended the interview and I've BN asked to come collect letter tmr *dancing* let that ewu man come and tell me rubbish in d name of marriage, after I've BN hustling. Nonsense.
DeleteI want to comment from experience.My husband met me a worker and married me like that.5 years into the marriage,d dude wakes up with a craze to relocate abroad.i objected.he threw the choose'this marriage or ur job card"my dear sisters,i chose my job.my home became a living hell.he threw me out for 4 months for being such an unsubmissive woman who refused to obey her master.i took care of myself very well and my kids too because I had a job.he is back from wonderland.but I tell you not all men are men.A real man lets his wife fly and become who she is destined to be.is insecure men that suppress their wives.i have nothing against stay at home moms or owning a business.let it be out of choice not coersion.
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