THIS IS SOME SERIOUS WAHALA!
''Dear
stella, I read your blog everyday. Pls I need advice from your readers.
I am 25yrs old, a lawyer,I just finished my nysc still looking for a
job. I met a guy during my nysc and we fell in love with promises of
marriage, we have been together for 9months, we have been having sex and
yes I knw it is a sin but I hv since been asking for forgiveness, okk
so now I am pregnant, but the issue is we never for once talked abt our
genotype, as it turns out I am AS and he is also AS,thanks to the pre
netal genotype test, one can check the genotype of the fetus before
delivery and you hv the option of terminating if the child is a sickle
cell carrier, now we are confused we don't knw if we should go ahead
with marriage plans or just terminate the pregnancy n let go. What If
God has a bigger and better plan for us,we are not financial stable but
we can eat 3square meals n we have a roof over our head. The guy prefers
we terminate the pregancy but is still sitting on the fence abt it''
*do you really know the seriousness of bringing a sickle cell child into the world?remain with your boyfriend if you want,marry him if you must BUT PLEASE DONT MAKE BABIES!
Stella has said it all. Thank God for technology you can find out and you can stop it.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I are both AS. We didn't know till I was 5months gone. My 1st child his AS and while d 2nd is AA. I prayed and fasted to God when I 1st found out. My husband wanted us to go our separate ways after wards becos of our Genotypes but I wasn't about to start a polygamous life for myself and kid. (Trust me d next line our parents would throw is look for another man that's AA.)I prayed again to God about it because he is the author and finisher of my faith. So I would never accept defeat from sickness. I declared my blood AA. We reconciled n made another beautiful baby. Sister don't kill that baby. Go to God in prayers. Wake up before Sunrise and talk to God. Put the holy spirit to work and fellowship in d spirit. God loves a pure heart.
DeleteAmen to that my sister. God is God and he is the creator of us all. The sister just needs to trust in the Lord thats all, no need to terminate the pregnancy.
DeleteIve seen sickle cell chidlren and i feel so sorry for them. They suffer sooo much. Its not fair
ReplyDeletePlsss ooo. Let's get this straight. Yes I believe in God and His mighty wonders. But let's be pragmatic here pls. It may have worked well for a few people, but let's not capitalize on other pple's lucks. Each to his own. Yes God can interfere with science, he can make the foolish things of this world to confound the wise. However, it will be sheer ignorance if u know the deal and u start to call on God. Faith may save the day for a mistake, but not for foolishness. Pls don't let situations like this compel pple to ask u where and who your God is. Don't use God to replace carelessness.
DeleteA pastor I know was diagnosed with HIV. Instead of going to the hospital to treat the virus, he started to go on prayer mountains to fast 40days and nights, sometimes more. And gradually the virus became full blown AIDS. He became weak to even pray, all of a sudden he was incapacitated, he spent several months at the military hospital in Ikoyi, where he finally died. Moral of the story, he died an ignorant man of God. And I just imagine that God will query why he refused treatment.
Understand that it is the same God we pray to, that has given knowledge and the materials to heal to our doctors. Using medications doesn't transcribe to disbelief in the powers of God. NO. God understood this when he created diff genotypes. That is why Jesus was called the great physician in His days. Pls give Caesar's to Caesar. Dear lady, activate ur discerning spirit. Godspeed!
My candid advice. Go for sickle cell test b4 birth. It can b done here in Nigeria .
DeleteSickle cell test for unborn can be done in Lagos and Abuja hospital
DeleteMedically, it is 50% chance to hav SS or not to hav SS for every preg u hav. Its so risky medically but dats not to say u cant be lucky wit ur chances. I wuld neva advise abortion. So take ur fate since u were careless wit ur medical compatibility b4 engaging in sex. I hav cases of couples like dat who were lucky wit their 2 trials. So, @ dis point, u need only God to make dis ur trial safe. Bimpe
ReplyDeleteIt's actually 25% to have an SS child. It's rather a 50% chance of having an AS and another 25% of having AA. Thank me later
DeleteYou can guarantee a healthy baby AA/AS even if both parents are AS and will cost about the same as the new iPhone.
DeleteMedically, it is 50% chance to hav SS or not to hav SS for every preg u hav. Its so risky medically but dats not to say u cant be lucky wit ur chances. I wuld neva advise abortion. So take ur fate since u were careless wit ur medical compatibility b4 engaging in sex. I hav cases of couples like dat who were lucky wit their 2 trials. So, @ dis point, u need only God to make dis ur trial safe. Bimpe
ReplyDelete"...PLEASE DONT MAKE BABIES"
ReplyDeleteSDK!!!! That's not a pure advice. The probability of having a child with genotype SS is 25%. That's 1 in 4 chances. 1 in 4 chances you can get an AA child, while you have 50% chance of having an AS child. Please don't terminate the child! It's like saying you want to kill a baby because he's HIV positive. Besides, even if they do have a sickle cell child, the disease can be effectively managed. I know people living with sickle cell who are above 70 years, so it's all about management. Follow the simple rules the doctors give you religiously and you'll be fine.
Have u ever seen a three year old having an attack? Effectively managed? Get down from ur high horse
DeleteI don't think you have eva come across some1 living cos if u do, u won't sound like this.
DeleteOh please shut it with the percentages! There is no hard and fast rule to it. Some AS/AS combination couple have been known to have 3 SS children out of 4 and I know a couple whose 2 kids have SS.
DeleteMadam writer, you are too young to put yourself under this type of stress. I can tell you your love for the guy won't survive the wahala when you have SS kids. You've done your homework and you know all about aborting foetuses with SS. Its not that easy. There's an error chance and its physically and emotionally draining.
Make your choice with your brain, not heart.
Dont be scared, God is greater than all that. i have a friend who is AS and her spouse is AS as well, she just had twins, one is AA and the other is AS... So God can perform a miracle that only a God like him can do, and my friend just had her twins less than 2 months ago...
ReplyDeleteU better advice her not to get pregnant again. She might not get such miracle another time. And how are u sure she didn't ascertain d genotype of the babies? Pls for those saying it can be properly managed would u give dem d funds to manage it or would u stay with d family in the hospital n share their pain during attacks? If AS stops marring AS we can successfully eradicate SS. Feel so sorry for d poster cos honestly I won't know what to do.
DeleteI won't advice you to abort.what's done is done. Sickle cell sufferers live normal lives if well catered to medically. I know a few and they ve managed this condition well.Don't be afraid girl.ve the baby.what about those who ve kids and discover they ve one less chromosone and that's down syndrome? What about kids with autisim from immunisation gone wrong?should their parents Mercy~ kill them? No! You love them and find ways to ensure that they lead normal lives. At the end of the day,its what impact you leave here on earth that matters and not the number of years you spent just staying alive!I know some peers of mine who as sicklers, ve outlived many with "great" genotype! BTW, am AA, so its nothing personal.I submit that the baby be given a chance! Signed:wide eyed!
ReplyDeleteComment loved.
DeleteCousin wide eyed! Today I disagree o. Haba! Sickle cell is not about management. Have you seen a kid suffer a crisis? It's unimaginable. Its also financially and emotionally draining. U see this love they share? That time eh e go sawa! Terminate and move on. He loves you today, he may not be there tomorrow. Sometimes you have to think with your head and be selfish. Eucharia Anunobi is divorced and has a sickle cell son. Try ask am as e be.
DeleteI knw a couple who were both AS and thy v 2 boys who are "aa",go c a doctor for advice! May God c u guys thru!
ReplyDeleteY terminate....d baby mite nt be SS...I dnt advice u terminate coz itz a sin...u can marry each oda still
ReplyDeleteDon't listen to Memphis. Fucked up post.
ReplyDeleteGø̲̣̣̥d̶̲̥̅̊ can still change D̶̲̥̅̊ child ɪ̣̝̇₪ Ūя womb. Y kill ┏̲A̶̲̅┓̲ human being
ReplyDeleteMy dear, all I will say is God is a God of wonders. Will tell u briefly about my story, I am totally against knowingly bringing a sickle cell child into this world, I think it's selfish cos these children suffer a lot. So I used to tell my friends off n abuse people who r AS and married another As. When I met my hubby he told me he was As and I boldly told him I was AA ( that's what my mum told me all my life). A year after we got married n I was pregnant, during d routine check I was discovered to be AS. I argued with the hospital n told anyone who cared to listen that hospitals in d Uk also make mistakes. Long story short, I made them repeat d test 4 times, at 2 different hospitals, alas it was so. I was 14 weeks into d pregnancy and 18 weeks, we had an amniocentesis done, baby was AS ( thank God) did I mention that the hospital as a routine tested my hubby and he was not As but SC a milder form of sickle cell. I believed God n prayed that no child that will come out of me will be a sickler. God heard my cry d second time. 4 yrs after, he blessed us with a daughter. Both kids are As ( d best combination we can ever get from As and SC) my dear trust God n be wise there after abeg
ReplyDeleteHmmmh...I'm happy 4 u dear!!! Ur God is truly alive.
DeletePt 2)
ReplyDeleteWhen I say be wise, I mean don't have too many children. As for me no more babies ( except God says other wise) both our mums told us they were told by hospitals in Nig that we r As n AA , I never would have ventured marrying him knowing d consequences, but I know God allowed it. Pls pray n God will surprise u. Don't abort, u av already admitted to sin by having sex before marriage, don't dig a deeper hole. God bless
Anon 11:06pm with arrogant tone. Answer to your ignorant question - YES I have. And he is 15 years old now, with correct 6 packs. If you don't know anything about the disease don't come here to drop a foolish comment. It's not by force, ok?
ReplyDeleteAs for Anon 11:18pm, your post isn't fucked up, then tell us how to manage a sickle cell patient. Or maybe you'd advice her to kill the baby, right?
People know little about an issue and just come here with itchy fingers to post rubbish.
Ure a big fool
DeleteGbosa!
DeleteI agree with Memphis. My roommate during my undergraduate days was/is a sickle cell patient. She is 27yrs old now and getting married soon!
DeleteMay God help you!!!
My cousin is 32 nw.shes ss.got married at 23 no issue yet cos shes always havn complications with d pregnancy.God help u to mk d right decision dear writer.Amen.SS kids are nt wat anybdy shld pray for.cos I knw d kinda trauma our family goes thru cos of anty ihu.yea dats her name.
DeleteWell this issue is serious oo.. Terminating the life of an unborn child is sin. You both chose to make the baby, so why terminate it. You guys just have to take full responsibility for your actions. Get married, keep the child and pray about it.
ReplyDeleteplease dear don't ever try making that mistake ,you guys should go you seperate ways and you shall find another man.don't subject your unborn kids to pains you could easily avoid that's wickedness,I can remember a girl who is SS genotype when ever you visit their home she will tell you that she know she's gonna die soonest.and I lost a friend too RIP to him.his approaching 30 when he died.pls I know that love is blind,but stand in love my sis for the sake of your unborn kids.God bless
ReplyDeleteAfter two or three episodes of crises, the love will fly out of the window and resentment will fly in and live there.
DeleteMy neighbour and her husband na as..dey hd 6children .4boys and 2guls..na only one of d boys b ss..d boy died last 2months..don't abort dat baby.pray God will change ur story.may him see u tru.Amen
ReplyDeleteAm sorry but your neighbours are illiterates .
Deletememphis, me no go advice anybody to use statistics play with his/her life o.
ReplyDeleteIf you are both AS, use protection and adopt when married.If na me after we adopt two either my wife ties are tubes or i will willingly do a vasectomy. Life has enough uncertainties,why create more for yourself? Forget all that talk of what people will say,pikin na pikin. If both of you are not comfortable with this sort of options, then part and find other partners. There is no one person for anybody.
However,since you don get the belle,born the pikin and commit all to God. Then you can begin to trust that the stats Memphis mentioned will favour you. I wish you God's best.
too many tales of wrong genotype diagnosis in Nigeria. Advice for those yet to marry,try and do your genotype in at least 3 different places(reputable hospitals).
ReplyDeleteKnw the genotype of d baby 1st b4 knwing wht nxt to do..if d baby isn't SS,lucky u..u can still marry each oda with dat buh with the mindset of having a child(that is, ur present foetus if nt SS)..or just go ur separate ways for d sake of ur unborn children!
ReplyDeleteI suspect this e-mail was sent by my sis-in-law.. if you are the one read this clearly...You knew you both were AS about 6months ago n your family discouraged you from continuing the relationship. Since you decided to disobey by taking in, if you do harm to that baby your womb will be sealed forever because you knew before going ahead idiot!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhy are sisters in law more headache this days than mothers in law? Na u get her womb? WITCH!
DeleteIts ur womb that will be sealed. See sister in law! I dont know why u guys are all bitchesp
DeleteEgbami, wickelia of life, inlaw from hell-kilode?! U sound so mean! Wetin consine u reach dis level? You come dey curse. Biko mind your business or go get a life. Ika buruku.
DeleteMemphis, since she has reservations and wants to terminate the baby let her do it. Truth is if you had known your baby was SS you would have terminated it. You are being emotional and not rational. I feel sorry for SS kids. I know so many people that have died from it and those still suffering. It's not worth it if you can avoid it.
ReplyDeletemy dear don't do "if love is a crime I rather be a criminal" because you will never enjoy your marriage. as for your baby fast n pray the genotype is AA or AS gudluck to you
ReplyDeleteI wonder why people just talk with careless abandon, it's very unfair and insensitive to think that every sickle cell carrier will automatically live a life of pain. Yes, there will be occasions when things will trigger a crisis and they will fall I'll, some mild, some severe but don't people fall I'll? Do people who do not even have sickle cell die from minor illnesses? Are millions of children not born with other congenital effects? I had a silent or missed abortion(please read about it) and I only discovered when I went for my 12 week dating scan. I wailed like a baby and cursed and ranted. I went in to have an evacuation a week later because I didn't believe and requested a repeat scan with the hope of a miracle but nothing changed the pregnancy stopped growing at 8 weeks and I discovered around 12 weeks so you can imagine how I felt! When I went in for my evacuation, I requested the lab send a sample of the product for testing to investigate why I lost the pregnancy, few weeks later results showed a chromosome abnormality, chromosome 15 or something. This was regarded as a big issue and my husband and I went for genetic counselling, tests etc Infact we were told the results of our test would determine if I would ever be naturally able to have babies on my own! But I had 2 kids already so imagine if I had none what would I have been thinking, thank goodness results came out fine and the rest is history.
ReplyDeleteWhy am I telling the world my story? There are a million and one things worse than sickle cell, a sickle cell carrier can live a crisis free life if in the right environment and get the right care.i have seen obese children with sickle cell! Who would have thought? As everyone typically has the notion that sickle cell carrier are usually strangely and sickle in appearance. These days, you only get to know when people say "hello,am a sickle cell warrior!". I think that says a lot. Sickle cell or not healthy lifestyle is the key to general wellbeing.
I support charitable courses and am actively involved with sickle cell UK, people with sickle cell tide over,live long and well just like everyone else. The human body is not a machine so it will always break down, that is its way of telling you to give it the attention it needs, it's not any different for sickle cell carriers, they just need to know what works for them and just so you know sickle cell carriers don't live for pity,yes, they will have their own sad times but don't we all have not so great moments as humans? Developed countries all over the world are actively working on research to cure diseases that affect their race even hiv that isn't as old as sickle cell is gained world attention, enough to warrant the search for a cure but it amazes me that as Africans all we ever can do is tell of the woes and fear and stigma that comes with sickle cell without even making enough efforts to work towards a cure. Don't ever believe that there is no cure, there will always be break through in science and medicine, research continues to go on with research to sickle cell cure but it is just not enough because the people concerned the most do not care!
I am not advocating for AS couples to make babies but when the deed is done you look on the brighter side, that child is human and you would not give him or her up because of sickle cell! Sickle cell pales in comparison to some other diseases,i can go on and on but please poster be wise enough to know that if you have done the "crime" you should be decent enough to do the "time". Please don't abort that baby,please don't.
*yes, I am a mother and sickle cell warrior*
Madam Tolotolo you've done well with this comment. Be blessed. There're worse diseases out there than sickle cell. People should do more research about it before posting obscene comments here. Any pro-abortion advice given comes from selfishness, not love. Ask yourselves, if my baby had down syndrome, would I kill it because I don't want him to suffer, or I don't want to suffer?
DeleteThe sickle cell patient who's living on drugs everyday(Anon 1:19AM); I must say I sympathize with you. But don't HIV+ people do the same? Don't hypertensive people do the same? Truth is, you've given up on life a long time ago. Like madam Tolotolo has said, it can be effectively managed. Sure there'll be crises at some point but that's not the finality. I have family friends living with SS. One is 15 years old now, 5ft 10, and as healthy as a heifer. Don't be discouraged because of your pain.
Thanks for d write up. Poster already said dey are not financially ok. Its not chicken feed dey use to take care of SS kids ooooo. Does dat have been able to manage it are usually from rich home that can afford the best of medical care n standard of living. Average naija homes won't even cut it oooo.
DeleteLong epistle. Well, most spontaneous abortions in first trimester are due to chromosome abnormaly. You are like a million other women in the world plus it's not a recurrent thing.
Deletewho told you kids wt deformities are not sad? Think again!!!
it's wicked to have a sickler child. Very selfish. Wat evil romance adults do should not be paid for by their children
My goodness!!! Pls how can I contact you tolotolo? I haven't read anything this sensible regarding sickle cell.
DeleteI love ur comment tolotolo I am a mother if sickle cell warrior and I will not change her for the world get that u people who always talk about negativity.they are people ....
DeleteDoctorly advice,since u hv said u re nt financially stable,pls save d unborn kid n urselves d physical n psychological pain of bring an SS innocent baby 2 dis wrld.pls terminate.
ReplyDeleteI read this blog everyday and comment every single day. I'm SS, 24years old and trust me it's not funny but God has been faithful. My parents were ignorant just like this lady but thankfully we are very comfortable so we can afford all the expensive medicines and check ups. But do you know what it means to live on medication everyday of one's life? Sometimes I feel resentment towards my parents. I keep loosing love either b'cos d guy can't marry an ss lady or because he's AS. I'm so scared to ask the genotype of the man I'm dating right now cuz I'm so scared and in love. That among others is what I've had to live with. Ko funny o! My candid advice is to chk the baby's genotype 1st if it's SS pls pls do a DnC.
ReplyDeletewhat I dont get is why you would not give full details yet you want advise. You acknowledged the existence of testing but you did not say if you have carried out the test.
ReplyDeleteMethink you have decided on abortion and you just want us to give you liver. Remember that abortion is murder. Its the worst form of murder because "Children are a heritage from the Lord and the fruit of the womb a (His) reward" Ps 127:3.
Personal responsibility means that you MUST have the baby. You should have considered all this before fornicating without rubber.
Its disgusting how we are not consistent in our views. AIDS IS REAL and sicklers are humans too. Carry your cross and know ye that no murderer shall enter the kingdom of heaven
Aboki, u got me tripping. Hmmmmm
DeleteThis is my own case now I've pleaded with God and my guy wants to abort the pregnancy,I don't want to soil my hands with blood
DeleteMy dear blog visitor,
ReplyDeleteYou need to think deep, very very deep, this is a very serious issue that involves lives. The deed is already done, way forward: ask yourself, are u ready to nurture a sickle cell child all the days of your life? We can all comment on this blog from now till thy kingdom come, truth is, at the end of the day none of us will contribute to the upkeep of your child.
I have a sis 34years and lives with sickle cell. You don't want to know what she goes through. My mum nko? She suffers too when this girl is in pains. Thank God for his provision, my dad has a good job and was able to cater for all her needs and makes sure are medication are always available. Do you have the means, to keep a sickle cell?
While I am against an abortion, I believe there is nothing too hard for God to do. Pray that this pregnancy is not SS and break up with your BF( though its very painful) but wise.
I dated a guy for a year, within that year we both discovered we were AS, we were actually planning to get married but that situation was a Snag. Infact, when we discovered we had same genotype, we were already so in love that that situation made us closer. My dear, we had to use our heads and ended the relationship. After thinking deeply , i knew I didn't want to go thru what my mum is going thru.
Thank God, a year after, I married AA and my ex too found a girl with AA genotype.
Avoid living in fear of having several abortions in future all in the name of, avoiding a sickle cell child. Some people get lucky, all their their kids turn out without being SS even when both parents are AS. While some are not so lucky? Do u want to gamble with your future? The choice is yours!
Madam Anon.
HUMPH!
ReplyDeleteThis is like between the devil and the deep blue sea!
If the foetus is SS, my religious belief is saying don't terminate it, because it is a sin, but my realistic belief is saying do it because i have seen a SS carrier in a crisis and it is no child's play!
Well, the deed is done! If the child happens to be SS, please be prepared physically, morally, spiritually and financially to take good care of him/her. Best of luck.
Google about selective abortion procedure on fetus with disability/complication.
ReplyDeleteI have heard of a couple who are both doctors and AS. Whenever she is pregnant, the genotype of the fetus is determined, and the the SS fetus is terminated. They have 3 children of AA status!
Your last sentence;'The guy prefers we terminate the pregnancy but is still sitting on the fence abt it''
Your fiance is sitting on the fence about this? Am i not seeing a red flag already? Hope you won't be left with the care of the baby alone when born?
visit hospitals, talk with doctors and watch documentaries on this to help you make your decision.
The way I see it, u have 3 options. Or 2 depending on whether u want to stay in the relationship. No1. End things with ur boyfriend and start a new relationship with an AA guy (although tying ur love to genotype isn't overly realistic). No 2. Wing it naturally and depend on the potential genetic sequencing (not advice able though as u Neva know. 2 dr friends of mine have 4 kids and the 1st 3 are SS. Go figure). No 3. I'm glad to tell u that genotype should really be an issue as u can have assisted conception like IVF for ur future pregnancies (the dr harvests eggs from ur ovaries, separate the ones with the sickle cell traits and fertilize the sickle cell free ones. And voila!
ReplyDeleteWhoever you are I love u! Thanks a lot for this info. Am going to see my Dr right away about this. My husband and I are both AS.
DeleteStella for once your blog is useful to me lol!
DeleteIt annoys me d way Nigerians talk. We are soo ignorant. We believe in Miracles all d tym. Do u guys understand what it means to be SS? Do u even know d pain d child will go tru in life? Anon 11:06 has said it. If u see dem avin attack, u won't wish it 4 ur children. Dey go through a lot in lyf. Y let ur child suffer for ur Mistake?
ReplyDeleteErrr ... Better terminate it !!!! Have u seen a sickler b4 ?????? U don't want to have a child like dat , its very unfair bringing in a child like dat to dis world & all just 2 suffer !!! Don't be fooled by love ! I have a friend he is d only child of his parents now , he lost his little sister last year while in dubai for summer , she just developed crisis & after some hours she passed on there in dubai ( & mind u this was d daughter of a lagos big man & if u know d strength of his account enhhh , she had d best of doctors b4 her & yet she passed on ) so my dear re u ready 4 all dat ??? Don't u know its a curse 4 a mother to bury her child ???? Or are u a learner ? Better take it out now that u can & go ur seperate ways or ...... Sha talk 2 God about it & also ur parents & a strong man of God cause I still do believe in miracles
ReplyDeletethis is the instance where i reckon termination is justified however having said that i have heard of advances in modern science ABROAD where people suffering from ss live full and productive lives .i dont want to keep banging on but for an educated lady you have behaved very irresponsible indeed,not just having sex as such but to the extent of getting pregnant without a solid plan in place
ReplyDeleteAh ah Luca dear, y d emphasis on abroad, No UK today? No worry, we already love u and accept u as u are
DeleteIM BEGGING YOU IN THE NAME OF ALMIGHTY GOD DONT LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE TELLING YOU, "KEEP THE BABY".THEY WONT BE THERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHEN THIS CHILD WILL BE HAVING ATTACK/SUFFERRING
ReplyDeleteIM TELLING YOU FROM EXPERIENCE NO SHIT CAN BE MANAGED TO THE PERSON SAYING IT CAN BE MANAGED PLEASE O DONT LISTEN TO THEM I BEG YOU REMOVE THAT BABY BEFORE HE OR SHE SUFFERS FOREVER PLS...MY ROOMATE PRESENTLY IS SS WE HAVE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS IN THE ROOM IM ALWAYS SCARED THAT ONE MORNING WE WILL WAKE UP WITH A DEAD BODY...THEY CAN NEVER HAVE A NORMAL LIFE...WONT THAT BE SELFISH ON YOUR PART?YOU HAD A NORMAL LIFE DONT DEPRIVE AN INNOCENT BABY,DONT BRING HIM HERE TO SUFFER
I'm begging u in the name of Almighty God, disable ur caps key next time
Delete! Sickle cell is a very expensive disease! The drugs my brothers takes on a daily basis scares me! He is only alive because of the God's love and the provision he has made for his drugs and medical bills. When my brother is in pain I cry because there is nothing i can do to help. Please if u decide to keep your baby your gonna need also the cash you can get! God help u guys! Love isn't everything,when the going gets tough, this ur loving man can break under pressure.
ReplyDeleteAboki na mallam! Where is it written that no murderer will go to heaven! It is people like u that make sinners run away from the love God!
ReplyDeleteI thought there was god ? Hahaha all you people are just proving evolution right!
ReplyDelete@bimpe its 25% per pregnancy...not 50%.
ReplyDeletei personally dont support abortion though.
Please in the name of God almighty I beg you not to bring a sicle cell baby into this world, I blive in miracles and the power of God but most importantly I blive in wisdom which is profitable to direct. The excruciating pains they pass tru is smtin I kant find any adjective to qualify, please in God's name don't try it
ReplyDeletePls dont bring an ss child into dis world oh. I am ss n both of my parents are AS. I lost my brother to SS. Words cant describe hw I feel during crisis n I used to blame my parents before for the ignorance. But ryt nowI just thank GOd for each day I live.all my bfs broke up with me when they found out my genotype. But am still beleiving GOd for the ryt man who will love me for who I am. Nigeria has not gotten to d stage where they treat sickle cell as a priority in health. So my adv now u knw pls dont bring dis child to suffer not just during crisis but in all aspect of life. The stigma, heartbrks, rejection and the stress. Honestly if I could give a toe I will give all to just change one of my S to an A. May GOd continue to give all sicklers the grace to continue n live long.Thats my two cent.
ReplyDeletePresently i work in an hospital,just this week,a patient barely 18 yrz,pops in like evryday b4 d end of d week,i just come on duty n meet him,n am like dear God,he left here just 2dayz ago.n i got tlkin to him,coz i wanted to pray wif him n he said,am in painz!I said a short prayer went to ma office n wept.hv u seen thz pple hv crisis?Evry time it comez i feel dem parentz wld b like,is this d end lord?plz,let go n let God,dnt bring children into d world to suffer,d world is full of sufferin already.BTW,i was dated an SS,n i knw wat trauma i went thru wen i get a call!God help us all.PS:Dear lord,i seize this opportunity to ask,dt u plz let Y.T,scale thru d age limit,hez a gud boy.
ReplyDeleteU work in a hospital and this is how poorly u write? I hope ure not a nurse cuz thats scary
DeleteThere's no nonsense age limit. Its a myth.
DeleteAll these Nigerian girls who tie men to them by getting pregnant. To the blog visitor who wrote in and all others, I have one thing to say nnntoin. Don't
ReplyDeleteuse prophylactics oh, aids is real, an ss baby is a walk in the park in comparison.
I failed to give ma piece on d bone of contention which is d questn u asked,ma dear this aint formin holier than thou o),therez nofyn as gud a as absteinace b4 marriage,God has formed this one in ur womb naa,i kick against abortion,in one word,i dnt hv advice for u based on dt,buh plz,ladies SAY NO TO SEX B4 MARRIAGE AS MUCH AS U SAY NO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.God help us all
ReplyDeleteDo no make that mistake my dear, My younger brother is SS and trust me the experience so far has not been pleasant. When the crisis starts, nobody sleeps in the house, he cries to the extent of praying for death. He is 18years now, very intelligent boy as in genius, God being God the criss frequency has reduced a lot. We just praying God keeps him for us.
ReplyDeleteMy dear i would advice you get in contact with a child going through crisis, what you see would determine if you have the heart to watch your own child go through that.
Yo were making sense until you mentioned man of God... smh.. Man of God na doctor abi? smh for people like you that still see pastors as gods.
ReplyDeletelol, this one na personal beef...hehe
ReplyDeleteMadam, I think its better u terminate it cuz its not just fair bringing such a child to suffer.My niece is 4yrs, SS and just had her spleen removed last month at a hospital in the Uk. Why? The surgeons said it would save her a lot from the crisis,pain and blood transfussion that she gets anytime she breaks down. The last time she broke down,she had to be admitted for 3days in the hospital and I stayed there with her,so i understand the pain she is going through. In my sis case(her mother) she had her genotype in naija when they got married and it was AA,so she travelled afterwards,believing she was AA,while the hubby is AS, twas when she was about to have her first child that they carried out another test on her and it was discovered that she is actually AS. That was when the reality set in.So out of the 3kids,only one is SS,while the other two are both AS. And I could remember the doc giving her the option of terminating the foetus then, but she refused and insisted that she was gonna have her baby.So my dear,the choice is urs cuz u should have tot about that before getting pregnant in the first place, may God help and forgive us all.
ReplyDeletewhy do people shy away from using condoms?
ReplyDeleteDon't come with that story of it breaking,use it first and let it break.
Most of these problems will be solved to a large extent with condom usage. Besides,all these HIV talk una think say na fiction?
Or postinor?!
DeleteMemphis still chatting from an emotional view. Use your head please.
ReplyDeleteMy dear,Am in the same situation so I know how it feels.its really scary but with God you can overcome it,there's a way you can test the genotype of the baby before you deliver and can discontinue the pregnancy if its ss,trust in God and have faith in him.he would work things out just the way he did for me.your partner has to be very supportive to cos it takes a real man to go through this with you,wish u all the best
ReplyDeleteA DOCTOR WRITING: IF YOU SHED THAT BLOOD, YOUR OWN BLOOD WILL BE SHED (YOU AND YOUR FIANCEE AND YOUR DOCTOR; YES THREE HANDS JOINING TO SHED INNOCENT BLOOD). SEE THE SCRIPTURES;
ReplyDeleteProverbs 6:16-19
King James Version (KJV)
16 These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
Genesis 9:6
King James Version (KJV)
6 Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he man.
Genesis 9:6
Good News Translation (GNT)
6 Human beings were made like God, so whoever murders one of them will be killed by someone else.
Matthew 26:52
New International Version (NIV)
52 “Put your sword back in its place,” Jesus said to him, “for all who draw the sword will die by the sword.
THE ISSUE IS NOT WHETHER YOU MARRY THE MAN OR NOT, IT IS "SHEDDING OF INNOCENT BLOOD!" IT IS A SIN WORSE THAN THE FIRST ONE YOU MENTIONED.
BY THE WAY, THE MEDICAL STATISTICAL CHANCE OF HAVING A SICKLE CELL BABY (SS) BY TWO AS IS 1/4 (25%). THAT OF HAVING AA IS 25% WHEREAS THAT OF HAVING AS IS 50%. YOU CAN SEE THAT THERE IS 75 PERCENT CHANCE THAT THE BABY IN YOUR WOMB IS NOT A SICKLE CELL BABY. THAT IS BY THE WAY
A DOCTOR WRITING: IF YOU SHED THAT BLOOD, YOUR OWN BLOOD WILL BE SHED (YOU AND YOUR FIANCEE AND YOUR DOCTOR; YES THREE HANDS JOINING TO SHED INNOCENT BLOOD). SEE THE SCRIPTURES;
ReplyDeleteProverbs 6:16-19
King James Version (KJV)
16 These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
Genesis 9:6
King James Version (KJV)
6 Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he man.
Genesis 9:6
Good News Translation (GNT)
6 Human beings were made like God, so whoever murders one of them will be killed by someone else.
Matthew 26:52
New International Version (NIV)
52 “Put your sword back in its place,” Jesus said to him, “for all who draw the sword will die by the sword.
THE ISSUE IS NOT WHETHER YOU MARRY THE MAN OR NOT, IT IS "SHEDDING OF INNOCENT BLOOD!" IT IS A SIN WORSE THAN THE FIRST ONE YOU MENTIONED.
BY THE WAY, THE MEDICAL STATISTICAL CHANCE OF HAVING A SICKLE CELL BABY (SS) BY TWO AS IS 1/4 (25%). THAT OF HAVING AA IS 25% WHEREAS THAT OF HAVING AS IS 50%. YOU CAN SEE THAT THERE IS 75 PERCENT CHANCE THAT THE BABY IN YOUR WOMB IS NOT A SICKLE CELL BABY. THAT IS BY THE WAY
Uncle/Aunt doctor, disable your caps next time. Who are you shouting at?
Delete@ANON NO 52
ReplyDeleteITS because of you i stopped putting uk nah lol
I don't care what you do with ur man but pls and pls u both should not bring any child into this world to suffer him/her, cos if U̶̲̥̅̊ do u will continuously shed tears as the pains that child will g☺ thru will not give u happiness. I am talking from experience.
ReplyDeleteMy elder sister died at age 27 after a crisis. My mum was devastated. I am AS and am in my early 40's but i still remember the day like yesterday. I would never wish for what she went through on my worst enemy.[if i have one]
ReplyDeleteFornication and murder are both sins! None greater, none less! And other terminal diseases are more manageable than SS. Nobody would help you with a kobo or their time to look after your child, YOU WOULD BEAR THE BURDEN ALONE!
Our parents were ignorant in the days of yore, but in this present era with awareness and technology, why INTENTIONALLY bring a SS child into this world?
You think love alone can keep the child well? Or your faith is strong enough for the miracles you hear people talk about? [sorry, which i don't believe!] Humans can be economical with the truth or exaggerate in a bid to help and praise God.
Be prepared:
Hospital would be your 2nd home.
Most of your income would be going for drugs.
Most of your time and thought would be with the child.
Creche and day-care would be scared of looking after the child for fear of crisis on their hands.
You would always be over-protective because of fear of anything triggering a crisis.
And your fiance would likely not be able to withstand the pressure and stress, which would affect your relationship.
Then you would begin to ask yourself later; DOES IT WORTH ALL THE STRESS?
I will still advice u keep that baby and while it grows keep praying to God 4 a perfect genotype. God can do it. Keep this baby and you will not regret doing so.
ReplyDeletepls dont have babies
ReplyDeleteSee now u think d love is sweet
He loves me bla bla bla
If the problem comes now,,,he will tell you,,,he cant cope with SS kid
I lost my room mate...she was SS
And also,,,,we lost a youung boy in the church,,about to get married next month,,he was SS
Then my sis friend sis,,,died,,bcos she was SS
This is no joke @ all
It is not story
A word is enuf
@Spy
@anonymous 44, Galatians 5:19-21. You cannot not claim ignorance at the Judgement Place. I agree that those with sickle cell anemia go thru so much pain and suffering. My ex Girlfriend was a sickler. I loved her till she went to be with the Lord. She displayed so much strength and faith in Jesus that on her death bed she said to me," Don't think that God failed us, He never fails." Death she reminded me is not the end but the beginning of eternal bliss. When I read comments like, " we never knew we were AS" I wonder what kind of human beings are here on the blog. There are some basic facts of your life you should know. these include;
ReplyDelete1. Your Blood group - In case you need emergency transfusion. It saves time
2. Your Genotype
3. Your HIV status - Which you should check every 6 months as long as you are sexually active. You never know where your husband/wife has been.
If you do not know something as important and basic as your genotype, do you then know your HIV status?
Aboki Na mallam!let God be the judge. What ur saying about your girlfriends death, is it meant to serve as encouragement to this people. The only thing u said and I agree with is why are u having unprotected sex with a man without knowing his genotype? Who still does such?!
ReplyDeleteby the time you have the child and you struggle with the stress of having an SS child, are you sure your love will survive that?
ReplyDeleteHave we all gone mad in Nigeria??? so, sickle cell risks for AS/ AS couples is 25%, and on the strength of that, we break relationships, abort babies and cancel wedding plans?!!! Ok, pray tell me: What is the risk factor for AA/AA couples in terms of having kids with down's syndrome? or cancer? or a deformity?
ReplyDeleteThen, if the child is even born normal, what are the risks that they will become armed robbers? unambitious? lazy? drug addicts? Prostitutes?
And if the children happen to make something decent out of their lives, what are the risks of the child dying young?
Ok, let us assume that the children stay alive and healthy. What about the marriage itself? What are the risks that the marriage itself will experience extramarital pressures? financial pressures? extended family pressures?
Finally, even if the marriage itself is strong, what are the risks of the man dying early? or the woman dying early?
Are you convinced yet that life cannot be lived if you are focussing on risks? Focus on God and you will be alright. Focus on risks and you will die without having lived! As for the girl in this story, repent of premarital sex, and even if ur boyfriend doesn't want you anymore, go ahead and have the baby. He/ she will bring you great joy and great peace. God bless you!
As someone born a sickler and currently living with the ailment, the reality of it is really not easy. I'm currently in my late 30s and married with children(thankfully who are AS).
ReplyDeleteWhile i will never advocate abortion, having a child who is SS can be financially and emotionally draining , so you need to realistically view your capabilities for managing such.
There will always be crisis, some mild, some severe and long hospitalizations can occur and certain medication is required for the lifetime of the child. Are you financially able to handle this, hearing the cries of a child/adult in crisis is not something most people can handle.
Having said this, it is possible for the child to grow to relatively old age, hold down a job,, marry and have kids ( i have done all this by His grace) but it really is not an easy process for all involved so let no one sugar coat it for you. I thank God for my own life and I happen to know others living with Sickle Cell who are living their lives, working, married and with kids) currently in their 40s and 50s.
Ultimately the decision is yours and I will not blame you should you decide to opt out of the situation as it is something you need to go into with your eyes wide open and mentally prepared (not to judge you but I don't think you are). It will not be fair to you and the child going into this wishing and hoping with rose colored glasses.
Thank you comment 95 for telling it as it is. I pray God mighty hand would continue to be on you and your family in Jesus name. Amen
ReplyDeletePoster, the ball is in you court.KNOW FOR THE FACT THAT NONE OF US GIVING ADVICE HERE WOULD HELP YOU CARRY YOUR CROSS! Whatever bed you pick, be ready to lay on it because you made it with your own hands.
Churches always carry out test on HIV, Genotype and Pregnancy before marriage because they have come to understand that many troubles in marriage can be avoided by a simple procedure.
Those that are wearing the shoes would tell you where it pinches. Here in the advanced countries, the % of sickle cell carrier is minimal compared to developing countries because they have put measures in place to correct that. And nature itself causes a fetus that is not developing well to fall, which is called miscarriage, should that also be considered wrong?
I read all the comment maybe it is too late already I have 3 daughter my 1 is As,my second AA and the last one out of nowhere really we wanted only 2 butiI could not go through with the abortion, I loved my bump so much it was the easier pregnancy and the easier birth a month later a midwife and some people came into my house telling me she was SS, oh my days I cry my heart out but I loved her more .... She is 6 now and she is so sweet everybody adore her and no one believe she is SS unless we told them , she get sick and it is hard swing her in pain but she have so many good days where sh do normal thing and dance around, and sing and go shopping she just love to shop. I am not going to judge but dear just because someone has SS that's not give anyone the right to be taken out of this world. About the relationship I have been with partner since I was 18 and I am 29 now if u truly loved each other it will bring you closer but that is just me ... A lot of couple blame eachother we did in the first year but swing her on her good months good days I am glad she is here because I know she have a purpose in this world.
ReplyDeleteseriously confused, dont know what to say to you because i have similar problem, except that am not pregnant. i love my partner infact he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. we are both AS but we wanna risk it thinking that because we live in Europe whatever children we have will be fine. both families have faith, i have faith so does my partner but some people around us think we are crazy hoping to get married with our medical status being AS. my question here is 1) because i live in europe does it make any difference? please people i need your opinion.
ReplyDeleteAnd darling, follow your heart, you will be fine, i have seen far more worse disease, i work with people with intellectual disability, you dont wanna know what thier parent are going through.
ReplyDeleteit is well with you, have faith, be positive, all will be well.
My fiancee and I are both AS though his initial medical report was AA and guess what?he is an only child but we have concluded to get married against all odds and conselling,we are ready to face any situation we see though we have a strong faith of not having any sickler!
ReplyDelete