Friday, August 16, 2013
Blogvisitor In Shock ''My Boyfriend Just Landed Me A Hot Slap!''
GBOSA!
GBOSA!!
GBOSA!!
Hello Stella,
Trust you having a nice day. Please I want you to help publish my mail I need advice from people who read your blog but not insults.
My boyfriend of 4 years for the first time ever just hit me (hot slap)today and I can't seem to get out of that shock. It all started last week I needed to my hair I asked him for money not that I didn't have but I just wanted that feeling of getting it from him,he said he didn't have that after all I work I was hurt we quarreled over it n even insulted him to be honest with you.
Days later we both went to the supermarket to get some things and as he was picking things I asked if I could take foundation powder he said ok so as we finished shopping n wanted to pay apparently we had picked things more than what he had at hand to pay so he had to take out something's and d foundation was part of what he took out and said if only I know how much he hates make up I didn't say nothing felt bad again but his drinks he didn't remove if only he knows how much I hate alcohol.
Getting back home I was so upset he asked me n I said nothing was wrong but he knew why I was sulking I finished cooking n left his house in annoyance all this happened in just a week besides we v just being disagreeing over trivial issues and it's so annoying. This is a guy that we intend to get married by December after dating for four years truth be told he is the life wire of this relationship left for me I would wanna explore other options I love him so much but he loves me more than I do and trusts me more than anything.
The straw that broke the Carmel's back happened yesterday we got back from work together decided to spend a nite with him yesterday after work so as we got home I got into the room and began to tidy the room while he went to the kitchen to prepare dinner so while he was doing that I had finish tiding up the room n was chatting with a friend(female) on my bb not a serious chat though but just wanted him to get jealous because am also jealous when I see him so engrossed with his so I decided to be doing mine so he was like who am I chatting with I said a friend he wasn't satisfied he snatched it n began to read and I was like why d hell would he because I don't do so to him then I began dragging it wit him he ended up smashing it n shredded it to pieces n landed me hot SLAP after then he has been apologizing all nite till this morning when we had a discussion he told me things that yes I know I have to work on as regard my attitude n my nonchalant attitude trust me i know my self well it takes a strong man to take the shit i dish out but even at that he had no right to slap me,he told me it was accumulated anger n all that. I have forgiven him but as it is am afraid if he can hit me once like now then he can do it again.
Do I move on with my life n call it quits despite how far we have gone?
Do I give him another chance although I have decided to keep my distance away from him for now.
Stella am confused.
111 comments:
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first off,i dont condone or encourage violence of any sort especially against women.however this girl-woman deserves the slap not because of why the guy slapped her but for the way she has handled the relationship from the little she posted here.
ReplyDeleteis he your dad or guardian to be footing all your bills?
if a boyfriend pays for part of your upkeep,its not your right but a privilege,he is working for his money so if he goes to the store for supplies obviously what he needs is first priority. because he didn't buy on a single occasion not only were you sulking,you searched out another potential who will probably pay for the foundation and made it obvious to your boyfriend right there in his house and presence and you are surprised he slapped you??
the question is has he been spending on you before? if yes then not only have you sold yourself cheaply you are also self centred and greedy
searched out another potential, really???? Did you understand what you read at all???
DeleteSo if I get you right Luca, u don't support any guy slapping a lady but the lady sure needs a slap from d guy..As in,What does that even mean??. And how did she search out another potential who will pay for d weavon? Luca I don't understand you o,I don't understand you at all at all..
DeleteAnd u Poster,
U and that your razor mouth! So u talk down on your future husband cause he didn't pay for a weave and then he smashed your phone, slapped u ontop u wan wait till he starts telling you to knee down,raise ur hands and close your eyes ba??
How much be foundation? When he met u, were u not using makeup then?? He suddenly hates makeup now ba?
U sef, havnt u "heard respect is reciprocal".. I just tire! I tire.. Am not even going to tell you to do anything.. U are d one in the relationship so u should know better.
Lucabracee ur a fool ad u sound stingy. She obviously hasn't bin askin 4 money 4 her upkeep b4 ad she jus wanted him 2 her love thru buyin her gift 4 once deres non bad in dat. If u are stingy 2 ur gf pls learn nw dat u show luv 2 som1 by buyin dem gifts also no matter hw little! U disgust me rilli!
DeleteMr disgur! Stingy ugly bastard.. Knw him well o sdkers hav dated him b4 u go all defensive.
DeleteMr Deportee, is she his mother that she will be cooking for him free n help cleaning up his house after getting free sex whenever he feels like. You forgot it's 50/50 in a relationship. He can't forgo his beer for the one he claims he loves. We know your type stingy London pple. Tongue out.
DeleteMy dear luca,
Deletedon't be a daft soul! She said she ws chatting wiv a GIRL on her fone! Even if it ws a man she ws chattin wiv sef, so dat gives him d ryt to slap her abi?
Give him another chance...since he has apologized.....forgive him
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing u are btw 19- 23yrs, in mind actually. Pls dump him, move on and explore the world but first give me his contact. Thanks
ReplyDelete#laff don gimme bowl leg#Choi! Best response ever!! No dulling my sister...
DeleteLwkmd!!! I like ur innuendos. Nice one. LooL!!
DeleteHahahahahahahahhahahahaha... Anon5:15 U are such a funny person... But I love ur honesty, may God give U ur own man that would treat U like his queen... Mwuahhh
DeleteLol.
DeleteBeautiful answer!
@Poster, u knw u "dish out shit" & u still want 2 continue dishing it out, eh? Smh4u! Don't u think dat he too may be scared dat if u cld deliberately keep on disrespectn & pushn him 2d wall as a mere gf, u may do much worse as a wife?! Wake up girl n b realistic, either u dnt really knw what u wnt, or u think u've found sm1 beta. In any case, d choice is urs!
Lmao
DeleteLol
DeleteLMFAOOOOOO girl you hit the nail
DeleteLike give Anon his fucking contact ugh!!
Stella shouldnt be posting every shit mail
Ah ahn kilods?girl you obviously dont have a pr-
Oblem
Stella,kindly punctuate ur stories.it can b very difficult reading withion punctuation marks
ReplyDeleteIts hard to understand what the word "Withion" means!And While stella busy is punctuating,can you pls "spelltuate" too? Dear slap victim,see why its needless to play games in a relationship? You wanted him to be jealous and you succeeded! Then again,he smashed your phone.I guess u sent this poser via ipad o!If na phone,how manage? Signed:wide eyed!
DeleteMy dear u better run for ur dear life cos a man dat hits u once ll do it over and over again.
ReplyDeleteAbasi mbok.....iko mmakara.
ReplyDeleteSorry dear......if u luv ur guy....pls sort thingz.
Klemo
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Anon 5:15 has finished me with laugh....Pls i dont mind having his contact too. Beta Grab ur man like stella's bitterleaf, before u regret ur actions.
ReplyDeletei dont agree with other comments on here, i think he has a bad temper and he will do it again. no excuse for slapping you , he could have walked out but to slap you he will do it again. run now before you are stucked after marriage
ReplyDeleteNigerian girls and their silly attitude in relationships. How wont he slap you? I'm a woman and I would have slapped you too if you had pulled that stun with me. Don't you work? Why should he pay for your hair or your foundation? So your money is good enough for you to keep but you can't spend anything on him? Why did you not even offer to pay for the shopping? This is why nigerian men have no regard for nigerian women; always coming across as grasping, greedy women. I don't condone violence but if you want to keep this relationship, then take a good rad look at yourself. Giving a man attitude, being money grabbing is not the way to have a long lasting relationship. Whatever happened to simple decency, courtesy and respect? If you don't exhibit those qualities, it does not matter how many relationships you have, dem go still dey slap you dey go.
ReplyDeleteLucabree, yes he spends on me normally he doesnt believe in giving me money but rather do the things for me. Well I know I v my own issues to sort out but I appreciate ur comment.
ReplyDeleteGuys need to learn, there's absolutely no f**king excuse for violence!
ReplyDeleteWhile I don't see the sense in girls DEMANDING that their BF buy them stuff, I still think you should leave.
He slapped you because he was jealous or It might be a build-up as a result of the past week wahala. Either way, he does not have the kind of self-control required in a marriage.
When you guys get married and a guy/couple of guys admire you in a public place/party and you smile and say thank you, na to drag you comot go chop slap for house be that.
If you get married and you demand too much, instead of him to look you in the eye and tell you a firm NO and maintain that stance, na to pummel you be that. If he has had a couple of drinks... oh,la,la
#Runforyourdearlife
Luca broda ode she was chatting with a female friend, jeez, u just rushed to comment n displayed ur over-sabiness. U sound like a wife basher urself gan, easily siding with the guy like it's something u do/will do....smh! Not shocked!
ReplyDeleteMadam advicee, my advice is not wise beware but it can help u determine if he's going to be a wife-beater, slap him someday soon in the middle of a mild argument n blame it on stored up anger, if he holds back his anger n doesn't beat u, he's not violent n was extremely pushed when he slapped u, and if U don't come back to give me a response, well then i will take it he beat u blue black n u r in no condition to visit blogs, in which case u must certainly dump his ass.
The choice is urs my friend....marriage is not easy n if he's already smashing phones in ur r/ship ermmm i don't wanna judge him but think carefully n don't allow any sentiment/pressure make u stay in an unwanted relationship but also keep in mind that he may have been pushed by ur rude n negative attitude n may actually be a good man (hello he's cooking for u)
And girl, behave urself n stop messing with yo man, clean up that attitude of urs n give urself plenty brain!
Nice write up
DeleteHahaha, anon 5:15, I love ur comment joo. Some girls sef,lol
ReplyDeleteWhat a question. U better go say sorry to him too coz its like u too hv a bad attitude. Or better yet give me his number then go explore
ReplyDeletedear, you don't need anyone to kill your self-esteem or tell you whether to look beautiful or not. When a man begins to tell you that then you have to check it, particularly when it comes to make-up. That is part of every woman. A real man spends on his woman unless he is short on change when making a purchase. Hey! That's why they are hunters. Do you buy him gifts too?
ReplyDeleteThat brother has no right forcing your phone out of your hand much less shattering it. And for him to slap you on top is distasteful and horrible! Control-freak, i would say.
My advice is this: make sure he replaces that phone and stay away from him. You know why? You don't slap your woman then apologise to her while blaming her for it. That is wicked!!!
oh boy. I do not condone violence in any form full stop. I also do not condone emotional torture and violence. Deliberately seeking to cause another human being pain whether physically or emotionally is evil. That said, Don't you guys work on Fridays? For me, I just got paid, so I am off to get some presents for my wife. I hope this weekend is hmmmmm.....
ReplyDeletehahahahahahaha,u b badt chic ooo,u want his contact,hmmmm,i rest my case sha,back 2 d matter babe,i dnt support dv bt 2 b sincere dat slap was wat u really needed 2 wake up 4rm ur dreamland,u av bin bottling up ur anger against him,u used ur weapon 2 fight (nagging,non challant attitude etc)and u want him 2 sit back nd watch?nba nu!4give him nd move on with ur relationship,b more careful next tym 2 avoid double portion!***elegant***
ReplyDeleteI will walk pass this one,let me hear what others have to say.
ReplyDeletesince you know you have a bad attitude please try n work on it n be nice. You sound like trouble. though he has no reason to slap u. i suggest you take a break and work on urslf first. relationship is all abt giving and receiving if he didnt hv enough money why didnt u complete him for him sine you are also working? please learn to be a good person n hv a good attitude it pays. See what ordinary foundation that you can afford did to u. Have self respect stop begging for small small things thats why u hv a job. He will respect you more when u show u can be independent. All the best and plz forgive him since u said it takes a strong man to take the shit u dish out. The nxt guy may not be dat strong n will panel beat u.
ReplyDeleteAll these kids she. Which kain complicated relationship story be dis. SMH
ReplyDeleteBabe, can you really handle the truth?
ReplyDeleteYou need to work on YOURSELF. If you leave him, what's the guaranty you won't do worse in your next relationship?
From what you've typed: you come across as one childish, petty, immature lady who lacks wisdom. Also, try be be understanding too. This relationship isn't about YOU!
As far as I'm concerned, you are taking him for granted because he does more of the loving.
Please carry yourself in a way he would want to spend willingly on you and not forcing him too.
Some women sha!
Your demands are killing the poor guy buy buy wan kill you . Ehim never begin slap you .
ReplyDeleteWon #3, Abeg collect the no quickly cos truth be told she sounds like an immature spoilt brat, babe grow up pls!
ReplyDeleteUhmmm u said no insults but I can't help it...seems like you are looking for an excuse to dump him cus yansh don de scratch U...u don tire 4 dis 1 abi??? Knw now say husbands don de finish ohh...it was jst accumulated anger so dnt use this as an excuse to dump him...if u want to dump him cus ur tired then fine....thanks Lucabracee for that comment me luv u*kiss kiss*
ReplyDeleteIf u love him y are u provking him.I'm not in support of him hitting u.but I feel its all ur fault.
ReplyDeleteTwo wrongs don't make a right & you aren't in competition with each other. Both of you need to make amends. He should never raise his hand again and you should chill out a bit. Address the slapping issue that if he does it again, it's over.
ReplyDeleteleave him fast fast,and stop picking up his call ok?
ReplyDeleteyour boyfriend is in kitchen cooking dinner for you and you are there chatting right?
You are a goat. Lol.
ReplyDeleteNa so dem De slap,beat, come apologise. Nxt thing na stab
ReplyDeleteSeems u are very demanding and it's getting on his nerves. No man likes to be treated like trash. Chatting with your friend on bb to get back at him is totally uncalled for. If truly that's the man you want to marry, u should accord him some respect.
ReplyDeleteYou have the money to make your hair why bother him? Some of we girls sha! We too like wahala. He is not your husband yet, am sure your hair wasn't even rough/untidy, if you have the means, why bother him? Being independent will even make him respect you more.
Before you both went to the shop, did u mention to him that you would like to buy foundation powder? Olojukokoro! Long throat! The guy had a budget before leaving the house my dear.
Be very careful, guys like this that u think are d mumu in the relationship, take heed. They are very observant, and coded, when you think u are smart, they will secretly go and marry someone else and tell you they are smarter due to these little foxes in ur character. No man wants a nagging and over demanding wife o.
Sorry for the hot slap, that's all I can say.
Mya
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't have the right to slap you..
ReplyDeleteDon't support violence against women whatsoever..
But the way you describe your relationship shows that you take ur boyfriend for granted and you dis respect him bcos you do not love him deeply as much as he does(u said he is d live wire of d relationship)..
I think you should re-evaluate ur love for him since you said you are willing to explore.. You need to sit down and search your heart deep down and find out if you really really do love him and deserve him or someone else... how do you feel when you are apart? Do you feel sick and lost whenever he is not around?? Does are the questions you should ask urself?Marriage is about loving ur better half endlessly, for better for worse.. So look before you leap most especially search ur heart, if you don't love him enough then you should let him go... Don't love someone out of pity or bcos they treat you nicely.. Love is deeper than that..
Wow,a guy dat cooks for U? OMG!! Maybe.d slap was a one-off sha,but dat tendency for a second slap is very rife if U don't stop taking him for granted.U shud respect him by not tryin to provoke him to jealous.
ReplyDeleteHe will slap u again n again. My advice: move on if u can.
ReplyDeleteIf he slaps you once, he can either slap you again or never slap you again. The choice is yours to make, but if he slaps you again, don't be surprised
ReplyDeleteAnon 5:15 u r a snake.
ReplyDeleteMy dear.......from ur hart of hartz yu kno u nided dat slap* ure wit a man dat has bin tolerating ur excesses for 4years ure asking if yu shud leave or not* wetin hapun to ur money?? His money our money, your money my money? Grow up dear, u have a wonderful relationship don't lose it and bsids only kids stil practise "do me I do yu bak relationship" beta pray 1 sharp chick is not by d side playin d all goody goody chick* TAKE YOUR TIME Ohhh. Lolz#Sugarous Sugar
ReplyDeleteMy dear.......from ur hart of hartz yu kno u nided dat slap* ure wit a man dat has bin tolerating ur excesses for 4years ure asking if yu shud leave or not* wetin hapun to ur money?? His money our money, your money my money? Grow up dear, u have a wonderful relationship don't lose it and bsids only kids stil practise "do me I do yu bak relationship" beta pray 1 sharp chick is not by d side playin d all goody goody chick* TAKE YOUR TIME Ohhh. Lolz#Sugarous Sugar
ReplyDeleteMy dear.......from ur hart of hartz yu kno u nided dat slap* ure wit a man dat has bin tolerating ur excesses for 4years ure asking if yu shud leave or not* wetin hapun to ur money?? His money our money, your money my money? Grow up dear, u have a wonderful relationship don't lose it and bsids only kids stil practise "do me I do yu bak relationship" beta pray 1 sharp chick is not by d side playin d all goody goody chick* TAKE YOUR TIME Ohhh. Lolz#Sugarous Sugar
ReplyDeleteMy dear.......from ur hart of hartz yu kno u nided dat slap* ure wit a man dat has bin tolerating ur excesses for 4years ure asking if yu shud leave or not* wetin hapun to ur money?? His money our money, your money my money? Grow up dear, u have a wonderful relationship don't lose it and bsids only kids stil practise "do me I do yu bak relationship" beta pray 1 sharp chick is not by d side playin d all goody goody chick* TAKE YOUR TIME Ohhh. Lolz#Sugarous Sugar
ReplyDeletePlease dump him. I met my husband and he was the most loving and affectionate man in all of africa then one day he hit me and I was making excuses for him that he was angry and I forced him to hit me with my attitude. We got married and I got pregnant and that was when I started getting the beating of my life. I had my baby by C-section and about 5days later I got the beating of my life because he felt I deserve it for being so lazy and asking him to do stuff for me using jst having had a baby as an excuse. My baby is not even up to a year and I still dey chop slap and beating everywhere. Jst waiting to stop nursing the baby and I'm out of here. Gotta go before he sees this and beat me up.
ReplyDeleteCan you just imagine? Abeg make una helep me see this girl?
ReplyDelete@ lucabracee
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with everything you said with the exception of her 'deserving the slap'. Saying she deserved the slap means you think that there are occasions where violence is justified. There is absolutely no justification for domestic violence.
To the Blogvisitor: I have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to violence so my advice will be to call it quit. You should also know that a boyfriend paying any form of bill or picking up a tab for you is a 'special advantage' and not a requirement or necessity. You need to get that entitlement sleeve off you.
hmmn you are so lucky yet u dont know. A guy that loves you and u still want to explore. May u not explore into ur old age o
ReplyDeletepls give him another chance
ReplyDeleteYes, you may have a bad attitude, work on that to be a better person. But I advise you to forgive him and leave. Unless you intend to chop even worse when you're married, even after you change your ways. I don't think you really want to be in that relationship and u're just settling because he trusts you and loves you more than you love him. Madam, leave, your life is too precious to play Russian roulette.
ReplyDeleteU would have given him that same slap back!...or grab his Two balls...!!!..Am just thinking he has not married you ,he is behaving this way....HMMMmmmm!..you both should take a break from each other !!!..*good luck *
ReplyDeleteFrom slap to blow,From blow to kirk,From kirk to what? biko run,Visit Angel Maryjane David Blog.
ReplyDeletemugu@ lucabracee"I needed to my hair I asked him for money not that I didn't have but I just wanted that feeling of getting it from him" dont you read properly b4 u comment?
ReplyDeleteyou are obviously a guy and a dumb ass one!!!!!
He has no reason whatsoever to slap her!
Sweet heart! dump the mofo fast before u end up in the hospital
I seriously dnt condone violence bt hee, u went too far. Believe me u would hav let him knw u were chatting wt a grl wen d drag started n den hav a gud laugh @ hs jealousy n evn tell him u feel d same way wen he does dat. U eva hrd 2 wrongs dnt make a right? U tried to correct a wrong attitude d wrong way. Besides, an african woman is submissive.Since u wrk, u shuld evn b lik "hee, we may nt lnid to leave doz, lemme pay for dem" we knw hw we get doz money bck*winks*Thatdone, i would lik to say babe take it easy na marraige u dey talk so xcept u want d frst yrs to b vry shocking for u. Av bn married 4 6yrs.
ReplyDeleteMadam poster u know the ansa to your talk just go back to him nobody will insult u, all that justifying the slap talk you are doin is just rubbish. Ur sm1 that dishes out rubbish bla bla bla. Goodluck punching sac
ReplyDeleteam sorry to say this, I think something is wrong with this girl or maybe she is still a primary school girl. When u know u re the cause of everything, u still have the guts to ask for advice. With this kind of behaviour, maybe u can start making plans on how to marry one of ur brother or probabily ur father. Stella please this is not the kind of wife am searching for.
ReplyDeleteYou've said it all....if he hits you once, he'll hit you again! If he can hit you before marriage, he'll beat the hell out of you after marriage! He also destroyed your phone. He had no right to do that.
ReplyDeleteBy your own admission, you have to work on your attitude. A relationship is give and take. Don't expect a man to always pay your bills. If you are a difficult person, remember that people have varying degrees of tolerance and NEVER take anybody for granted!
Hahahahahahahaahahah@"but first give me his contact"hahhhahhahahahahah u sef wan make dem dish you hot slap ni?
ReplyDeleteMy sister, dust ur slippers, put it on ur head and run. Since he has started he will continue. This is how domestic violence begins.
ReplyDeleteDomestic violence ko... She has attitude problem and is immature in wisdom.
DeleteYou know what u want... Follow your heart.
Abeg its d guy dt needs to dump her. ...she feels she's all dt so she's just misbehaving. ..u cant last in marriage with this kind of attitude. ...no1 deserves a slap sha bt she rily needs to work on herself.
DeleteStill doesn't give him the right to slap her. If you don't like her attitude, then leave her and move on.
DeleteHope it does happen to you
I thk u suld give him anoda chance becos u pushed him to d wall.If u continue with dis attitude in ur relationship den u mite end up nt gtn married.Evn dis attitude won't help u in marriage. Geh drop ur childish attitude and grow up!
ReplyDeleteIs he suffering from financial kwashiokor at the moment? If +ve,be col with him n know that wen u push him to the wall again,he may hit u. BTW,how's his nocturnal gyrations?. Ok or just there?. Check everything b4 jumping into marriage.
ReplyDeleteFrom what you have said here,i can tell you have the bigger problem.he loves you and you are taking advantage of it.he seems to be a gentleman.i know women,we take d men dat loves us for a ride.if u wanna explore do so but not on acct of what happened cos u already said he is d one holding d relationship.becos stella is advocating for womrn doesn't mean you will go and look for trouble and think people will support you.Grow up.
ReplyDeleteU neva marry am, he don dey slap u! Oya quick quick waka comot infact run for your life! A word is enough for the wise.
ReplyDeleteole..you want to snatch him away from her...
ReplyDeleteYou are so childish. By the time you go for other guys and see how terrible some are, that man would have been gone. Stop doing things to make a man jealous. I don't think your man is violent. You provoked him and you deserved that slap of life.
ReplyDeleteLocal people
ReplyDeleteLol @anon 5:15..ur so damn funny,no mind d yeye girl, my dear grow up nd stop being childish,appreciate wot u hv nd put in more effort 2 make ur relationship work out,frm wot u wrote,it obvious d guy rili loves u,biko put aside ur shakara cos soon u'l bcom his wife nd mother of his children,so start acting matured
ReplyDeleteNo commas or full stop in your post. Oga o. Am not 100% a good writer, but I can't just ignore it.
ReplyDelete@ Ihekire Tony, Is Stella searching for a wife for you?
ReplyDelete1.the guy has a bad temper which will manifest more when u get married.
ReplyDelete2.He also has insecurity problems which will be more severe when u eventually become his wife.
3.He'll still slap u and beat u up whenever u disagree n he feels u re wrong.
4,stay with him if u think u can handle the above stated points.
5.if i were u,i ll walk away cos i cant stand any man that cant control his anger.
6.All the best.
I strongly do not condone DV of any kind.. Whatsoever and there is no excuse for violence.
ReplyDeleteMy dear...your attitude stinks!...if you are tired of him...please let him go...u clearly what out and you have been looking for that outlet since..(as you described events prior to this slap)...i think him slapping u played nicely to your plans...and now u will milk it dry.
Truth hurts but its better than living a lie...maybe you need to explore other relationship....learn from the experience (s)...and maybe you will find your soul mate..someone you will love as much as he loves you, someone you will deeply care for and most importantly respect.
Good luck
i respect her for stating that she too got ish bout her she needs to sort out... D rate @ which women push men wiv jes their mouf ehn, it takes a very patient man not to lose it o.... anyways, its been 4yrs, and dis is d ist, so forgive him buh make it crystal clear dat if it ever happens again, its over... If u ask me, i will say postpone dat december wedding to teach him a serious lesson(it sound extreme, but if ur not desperate to b called a Mrs, its doable), give him dat distance u talked abt(violence on a woman, whether na jes slap shldnt be condoned), watch ya mouf ! Watch ya mouf !! Watch ya mouf!!!!.. Godspeed
ReplyDeleteSeconded,she shuld work on her attitude with time,I tink she shuld engage in more conversations wit her Boo,always talk abt hw u feel wen an issues arise instead of keeping grudges N hurting each odas Feelings.Cos my dear every relationshps or marriage has issues,u jes need to talk more n relate ur Worries wit ur Boo.Well u knw ur man more so leaving or staying is based on ur feelings n level of tolerance.Above all Wisdom is d key,Be Wise!
DeleteWhere is bloglord? I have missed you here o hope you are fine where ever you are. Abeg show face u hear :)
ReplyDeleteSigned: concerned blog visitor
Dear Poster,
ReplyDeleteUnder no circumstance, I repeat, NO circumstance should a man ever hit a woman. There is absolutely no excuse for that kind of behavior. Be rest assured, he did it once, he sure as heck is going to do it again. Maybe even worse the next time. You are not even married to the guy yet, I shudder at what he's going to do to you when you folks tie the knot. Hey, he might just be one of those one in a billion guys that hit once and never do it again. But in my opinion?, don't hang around to find out.Leave while you still can.
Anyway, it should be fairly easy to leave since you said you "wanna explore other options" and he loves you more than you do him. You have just been presented with a very tangible excuse for leaving, make use of it!
P.S This is by no means justifying what he did to you but no offence honey from what I read, I think you have a bit of an attitude problem. Nagging and sulking unnecessarily to be precise. I mean he refuses to buy you something and you quarrel with him and even insult him over it? C'mon!!! I won't even mention the second incident at the super market. You really should work on that attitude.
P.P.S He is your boyfriend, it's his prerogative whether or not to give you money. If he was your husband, that'd be a different thing entirely. So please get rid of that feeling of entitlement, will ya?
Cheers!
Leave him quickly. Once a guy starts hitting u he never stops. And it's always the devil or u pushing him. Talking from experience.
ReplyDeleteThis era wen Man dey hard to get naim u dey dish out shit,u need to work on ur attitude...
ReplyDeletework on urslf babe, and stop thinking u would alyz get someone beta,it make ur attitude worst,respect ur man and pamper him too, dont do sometin to anger him or know his responds, as for d slap give him treathen him wit just a week malice,and warn him if he try it again he should forget abt u,dis bcuz u cause it, dont drag issue wit him, and if u are feeling relationship is 50/50tin u r on a long tin oooo.and dont alyz expect man to do it all for u,
ReplyDeleteMany Nigerian girls are fast turning to these black american chicks, if not worse. Too much drama and all..
ReplyDeleteI agree with no violence thing but I don't see the women winning in a society such as ours, where you can marry more than one wife. So sad but it is the truth; problem is that there will be so many broken homes, much more than we have now and the society will not be able to handle it.
It is amazing how girls want boys to carry all the load and still live with their insults! A girl that respects herself will definitely get a high level of respect from her boyfriend/husband.
And by the way, lots of these girls still want to snatch their friends husband even when they know the guy wacks the woman.
Very strange world these days..I think the guy will benefit more if you leave him, I wont touch you with a borrowed dick if you threw yourself at me.
I wish you luck as you take your decision.
@renne davidenko
ReplyDeletedrop your own comment and piss off!!
she said she was chatting on bb basically to make the guy jealous
@anon 10
ReplyDeleteyou are welcome.if the guy spends on you then give him a break when he doesn't ,the critical question you should ask yourself if the violence is a one off or consistent
@mama ijebu
ReplyDeleteim not supporting the guy's action o,but like you have stated in your comment to her i am inferring that her actions of provoking and goading the guy put her in harms way
@don davido
ReplyDeleteloooooooool so how much money i lavish on a gf is the measurement of love and affection?
is my gf or wife a property i am buying or taking care of like a pet?
a woman who demands or collects from a man every time is lowering her self worth in the man's eyesand self respect when you hear oyibo people divorce and share everything 50-50 why do you think this is so?
how come same does not happen in nigeria where the husband will drive the wife out with only her wrapper and maybe a small bag? think about that
@laduns lesbian lover
ReplyDeletemy dear demented oaf,she said she was doing the whole "bb chatting caper" to make the guy jealous meaning she knows precisely how to push his buttons and she activated his anger.
like i said in my comment if you had bothered nothing justifies violence but strictly for her own safety she should not have provoked him safety first
the arowolo guy has already murdered his wife, even if he is punished but I'm sure her family will have preferred her alive and not provoked the guy to violence
If bf's money is our money... What is gf's money for? I believe a guy should spend for a lady. But once d lady starts working or is working, it becomes a two way thing. Esp if he is planing for ur marriage. Babe, u don't deserve the slap becos what u just needed was attention and he gave it to you the way he could understand(kpele). Both of u obviously lack communication skills.
ReplyDeleteImmagine him telling u @ a shop that he hates make up and u sulking on how much u hate his drinking harbit. Jess!!! What have u guys been doing for 4 yrs, if u as a woman u dnt knw what to avoid and him as a man doesn't knw how to react when u get all moody and sulky. Then u are heading towards divorce next year.
Am a woman and we sure love attention and some dude just don't knw how to deliver one( like ur oga). Babe, u say u wan explore the world? Hmmmmmnnn, don't allow d world to explore u too ooooo. There is nothing to explore in dis world as a woman. You will only end up counting the numerous guys u've slept with. You don't knw how favoured u are to have a relationship for four yrs( if u've been faithful). The number of dicks u've not seen as a result of that relationship. Most girls in d process of exploring end up sexing more than 3 guys are year. 3x4=12( 12 dicks in 4 yrs, u were speared that). Forgive him, forget exploring( except u are exploring with him), work on ur self and make ur self better for him. He deserves d best just as u do. U sound inmature, work on that. Marriage is not relationship.
@Wide eyed, there are computers for a reason besides how long does it take to get a phone?
ReplyDeleteExcuse me! Why won't he pay for ur hair even when you asked? Why wouldn't he buy you foundation? But buy alcohol for himself? He could have at least asked you to pay part of the bill rather than dropping the foundation. Your bf chats on his fone and u condone it. Yet he's smashing your own probe when you are chatting? And you are there asking for advice? You are even talking of marriage? When you both clearly have issues. There is no communication or understanding btwn both of you. And with that there's no successful relationship. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteAnd u, lucabracee you are bad omen. I pity the woman who would get married to you. You are a bad example of a man. Let me tell you, I have a better job than my bf, I earn more than him. But my bf makes sure he pays my bills. He gives me money for my hair, my toiletries, monthly allowance for these. I would never shop with him and he old drop
He won't drop my foundation to buy his alcohol. Never! Instead he old ask that we come back and buy everything. Whenever I wan to talk, he would tell me he must be my head. So I should keep my money let us spend his change. And since he started doing this, I must say his finances have picked up. I respect him to bits. I obey him like an elder brother. Becos he has proved that he's a man not challenged by responsibilities or intimidated by a woman's success. So it's not about whether u fend for ur self or if ur man fends for u. It's about a man letting u know that he is ready to make u a responsibility and he's not scared of it. I find myself doing stuff for him too. Stuff I swore I would never do for a man. Why? Because I have seen that I am a priority in his life and he respects me to bits. So if u like Mr. Lucabracee be there insulting her for asking her man for favours. (and the rest of you too) dude isn't just responsible enough to be called a husband. He's f**king selfish and needs to learn hw to communicate with his babe or future wife. Shikena
ReplyDeleteWell said.....N poster stop making excuses for that boyfriend of yours. If ur man can't control his temper then flee from him!!!
DeleteGirl I smell danger! So he hates makeup and u are just dating when u get married he will ban u from applying make up and wearing hair extensions. He's just your bf and he smashed your phone and slapped u?? These are the signs and symptoms of a wife beater. Tell me if u were his brother or his male friend would he slap u cos u misbehaved and all? He slapped u not only cos he was angry but cos he knows u are weak and can't fight back. Tell me if a shop attendant or his driver or employee annoyed him would he have reacted with a slap..the answer is NO! He would have controlled his anger. Rather than control his anger he slapped u!. I wouldn't advice u to leave him or stay with him. Its up to you to make that decision
ReplyDeletelucabracee or whatever your name is, you are stupid and an apology for the male specie......no excuse for violence whatsoever....young lady if you are reading this, leave the guy and get yourself another boyfriend......meanwhile work on yourself and realise that marriage is give and take....if you had been married then i would have advised you to forgive and try work on the relationship but for a guy to hit you when he is not yet married to you, dont even tolerate any violence at this stage.....just FLEE
ReplyDeletemtscheww...some ladies sha i really do not know what they want. What advice do you need now for the readers? is it for them to advice you to move on or to preach against domestic violence to you? you caused everything to yourself so why then are you complaining that he slapped you? am sure that slap is to bring you back to ur senses. If you do not want a man to slap you then watch what you say or change your attitude...NEXT PLEASE...
ReplyDeletecome on ladies haba!!! most men do not like makeup, some do like the natural thingy and becos he doesn't like makeup doesn't necessarily mean he's ripping off your self esteem.I have male/female friends who tells me i look more beautiful without makeup, its not as if my makeup aren't good, but they see beyond the makeup and that doesn't mean i do not makeup. How to apply your makeup is most definately important, some would use all the colours on the makeup palet and end up looking like a masquerade and then apply lip sticks / gloss as if the whole groundnut oil is on their lips. Work on your attitude my dear, asking too much from a guy would def. push him to the wall especially when you're a lady with a "CREEPY ATTITUDE"
ReplyDeleteyou guys both sound very immature with how you handle relationship issues!!!! you don't make each other jealous on purpose, you talk about the issues! LEAVE HIM, I've been where you are!!! that first slap was the open door now he will feel comfortable it the next time "you anger him". it will become a first reaction the next time, TRUST ME. The four years if it matters to him, he will go to counseling, anger management to get you back (means he has to see you don't accept that behavior and you break up with him)....but that's after real work, not a few weeks or months before you take him back. then i'd suggest you both go to couples counseling to work on the issues, then maybe it could work. Sounds like he might have an alcohol problem too. If it can't be fixed leave it there broken and the right one will come along for you.
ReplyDelete