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Tuesday, July 09, 2013

From Project Alert:Signs You Are Dating An Abusive Man...

                              YO....YOU NEED TO READ THIS

CONTACT PROJECT ALERT FOR HELP
Project Alert head office.
 21 Akinsanya street off Isheri Road,
 Ojodu-Berger,Lagos
 
Telephone numbers: 
 08180091072,
 08052004698, 
018209387.







Hi Stella,
My name is Ngozi ****** the Programme Assistant on Social Media
Advocacy with Project Alert on Violence Against Women, an organization
that promotes and protects the rights of women and young girls and
renders practical support to female victims of violence.We received a
client in our office today that got our contact by sharing her story
on your blog. Thank you for giving people a platform to share their
stories on your blog. We would love to contribute to the discussions
and assist as many women as we can.

One of our goals is to educate as many women as possible about all
forms of domestic violence especially young women that are yet to get
married so that they can make better choices. Prevention is always the
best approach.
Attached is an article to guide young ladies on abusive relationships.

We would like you to post it on your blog and would gladly love to be
part of the discussion to advice as much people as we can

Keep up the good work.



FROM PROJECT ALERT


SIGNS YOU ARE DATING AN ABUSIVE MAN
If the man you are dating displays any of the attributes below then you need to beware.

The Jealous Controller in Chief:  He always wants to know who you are talking to, calls you every time to know where you are, who you are with and what you are doing. Suspects you of flirting any time he sees you with a man including your boss and insists on following you everywhere you go. He constantly checks your call history, text messages, BBM chats, Facebook chats and inbox, twitter conversations, emails or website history and visits you at home and work unexpectedly.

The Heavy Weight Champion: He has past records of battering past girlfriends, beating up women at work or on the streets and tells you it was the victim’s fault. He fights with anyone at anywhere at the slightest provocation and can remove his clothes to fight with a bus conductor over change. He has past records of rape and enjoys viewing child pornography like having sexy pictures of children in his phone or viewing videos of adults performing sexual acts on children.

The Professional Blamer: He never takes responsibility for his problems and blames other people and you for his own mistakes. He may make statements like, “you made me angry,” “it was all your fault,” “I lost this opportunity because of you.” In his world, it is always everybody’s fault but him.

The Lonely soul: He gets angry when you spend time with your friends and family and gives you reasons to stay away from other people but him. He changes your SIM card, deletes every contact of your family and friends and tells you who to associate with. He will rather you stay at home than work so that men won’t look at you and ladies won’t corrupt you. He prevents you from joining groups, professional bodies and attending any social gathering alone. 

The Boiling Stew: He always feels insulted and blows things out of proportion. When he’s angry, he breaks things around him. He can be charming and sweet one minute and angry and explosive the next minute. During an argument or disagreement he may hold you down, restrain you from leaving the room, push you, shove you, or hold you against a wall.

The Stinging Talker:  He constantly criticizes you or says cruel things to you and about you. He curses at you and calls you ugly names. He uses vulnerable points about your past/life against you and puts down your accomplishments.  He puts you down in front of others as well. He makes you see yourself as stupid, not good enough, not beautiful and lowers your self esteem.

The Perfect Perfectionist: He has unrealistic expectations and expects you to be perfect. He has an imaginary world in his mind with a stipulated role he expects you play and never satisfied by what you do. He makes you feel like you can never do anything right for him.

The Sober Militant: He uses threats, black mail or physical force to control you. He may use words like, “I’ll kill you”, “I’ll beat you,” “I’ll break your neck”, “If you ever leave, I’ll kill you,” but then dismisses it with "I really didn't mean it." He uses force to get you to obey him and keep you committed to him.

Ladies, you can use make up to hide your scars but it will never hide your pain. Stop making excuses for him and call off that relationship now. Abuse doesn’t stop after your wedding day; it gets worse and affects your children.


Project Alert is a non-governmental human rights organization established in 1999 to protect and promote the rights of women and young girls in the society, especially their rights to live free from all forms of violence against them. Our areas of intervention are Research and Documentation (R&D), Human Rights Education (HRE) and Support Services Program (SSP) which includes legal aid, temporary shelter services for abused women, counselling, and skills acquisition training. www.projectalertnig.org follow us on twitter @Projectalertvaw and connect with us on Facebook: Project Alert on violence against women.











Sexual Assault Referral Centre opens in Lagos



Hi Stella,
Please can you share this news on your blog so that we can help as
many sexual violence victims as possible. It was set up by an NGO
called Partnership for Justice

Do you know any victim of sexual violence, who is in need of medical
attention in Lagos, please refer the victim to:

"The Mirabel Centre",
Lagos State Teaching Hospital, Ikeja.
Tel: 0811 555 4877 or 0818 724 3468 or
01-295 7816.

Partnership for Justice is pleased to inform you that our sexual
assault referral centre started providing services to victims of rape
and sexual assault today.

The Mirabel Centre, is a safe, friendly and private place that
provides holistic and quality services and support to survivors of
sexual assault in a compassionate and caring manner, in a way that
respects each individual's specific need and rights to make choices
about how to address these needs.

The Mirabel Centre provides the following services

A. Medical examination and treatment for illness and injuries caused
by the assault

B. Counselling (face to face and telephone) to help cope with
emotional and psychological effects of rape

C. Help reporting to the police

D. Information on the legal system

E. Referral to other agencies for help not provided at the Centre.

All the services at the Centre, including drugs, are provided free.

Doctors and nurses working at the Centre are trained forensic medical
examiners and the counselors have undergone training on sexual assault
trauma. Confidentiality is a key principle at the Centre.

The Mirabel Centre is located within the premises of the Lagos State
University Teaching Hospital (LASUTH), Ikeja, Lagos.

It is open every working day from 8 30am to 5 30pm.

We look forward to collaborating with you all as we work to eliminate
gender based violence and provide support to survivors and members of
their families.

Please share these numbers with all your friends and networks





















40 comments:

  1. Well done Aunty Sterra

    ReplyDelete
  2. "You can use make up to hide the scars, but it will never hide your pain" Like

    ReplyDelete
  3. Not me! My boo is an awesome gentleman! Perfection redefined! He's an angel...sent to me from heaven! He's my honey bunny! I love my baby yep! Yep! I love ma boo!!!

    Lucinda

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bia Lucinda or whatever dey call u, shaaaaaaaataaaap!! Who askd u about ur boo?? Atulu Kenya!

      Delete
    2. Make una leave this Lucinda alone. What has she said wrong now?? All these cyber bullies sef, make una fear God abeg..

      Delete
    3. Lucy why d advert? Dis is 27th time u are changing a boo in a year! What's wif u luv ur OloriBOOruku? Dem take man do u? If I hear.....

      Delete
    4. Ms. Maya it looks like you suffer from logorrhea on per second billing. Why can't you be sensitive to the issue at hand?

      Delete
    5. Like seriously? Who asked you? This Lucinda shld be restricted from commenting on this blog. She has the stupidest comments ever. Gosh!!!!

      Delete
    6. her bunny is kicking her ass now

      Delete
  4. 99% of men are like that. So save all these. The point is majority of men will cheat if not 99% of them. Cheating can be worse you know. If you writing this would have received beating yet you still there. Let all carry their cross.
    Mrs perfect and counselor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wetin this one they talk??

      Delete
    2. My dear no be small nonsense talk. Complete off point

      Delete
    3. I never see this kin o p before in my life o! People no dey read gist b4 commenting? Na wa o @ anon 5:05 do go back and read d update first n then comment biko! Olodo!

      Delete
  5. This looks like friction. Haba! Which man will not fall into any of these categories. The wait for the "Mr Perfect" continues. A's much as I don't support domestic violence. All these talks will cause more havoc than help for ladies. No two situations are exactly the same but ladies will start copying ideas from this post and paste wrongly. Ladies do worst things and yet the guys are getting all the blame. All the best to all the ladies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If u are a man and u exihibits some or all of these characters, u better start working on yourself and stop talking nonsense about fiction.

      Msheeew

      Delete
    2. BBC where u dey o? U dey slack no b small! **u exhibits** huh? People still dey speak this kin English??????

      Delete
  6. GOD has delivered me once from an abuser,i cannot thank him enough.singles open your eyes these signs are real.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Stella, thanks for all your efforts to stop domestic violence and get people out of abusive relationships. You're saving a lot of lives. Please keep at it. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  8. So true, I was in an abusive relationship, he beat me blue and black, apologise and blame me for making him hit me... It took strength to eventually leave... This gut basically controls all my activities and get jealous easily

    ReplyDelete
  9. Co-signed

    CP (space) show biz blog of the year (space) Stella Dimoko Korkus send to 33121.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Okay I really really luv my bf bt he alwaz joking says I wil beat u one day wen I do somn wrng and he slaps me jokingly 2, am very stubborn yh and I hit him first atimes bt he jus takes it and jus warn me 2 stop! I think he's isn't capable of hittin me or.... Ms posh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mmmmmm Ms Posh na style dem go take giv u black eye one day! Stay there dey do slap jokingly till one day one serious woooza go land ur face, ntoooor!

      Delete
    2. Lmao...asssss in!e go b like film trick

      Delete
  11. Mine is the perfect perfectionist! OMG!!! But its not that bad. He makes me want to be better.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hmmmmmmmmm gals stop faking it am sure many are goin thru wat is stated up there

    ReplyDelete
  13. Chai!!! My eyes have been opened. My bf finds fault with every thing I do. He is a perfect example of the above mentioned... Time to run av reach

    ReplyDelete
  14. All these r true,cos i once dated a woman beater who potrays all the attributes,he s always scared of the unknown,i think it has to do with inferiority complex,when i threatened to end the relationship,he blackmail me by threatning to reveal to my parents that i av had abortions before,n many other things,thank God i now have a good man i wanna spend the rest of my life wt

    ReplyDelete
  15. All these r true,cos i once dated a woman beater who potrays all the attributes,he s always scared of the unknown,i think it has to do with inferiority complex,when i threatened to end the relationship,he blackmail me by threatning to reveal to my parents that i av had abortions before,n many other things,thank God i now have a good man i wanna spend the rest of my life wt

    ReplyDelete
  16. I was dating a man like that. He calls me stupid, evil,... Accuses me wrongly, even refused to open the gate for me cos I delayed a bit at the market due to rain and I was supposed to make soup for him. This is a stupid man that refers to dining table as lining table. I broke up with him about a month back and I'm about to teach him one or two lessons.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Project Alert please you guys should extend your works up North because the men here are hmmmmmm.......

    ReplyDelete
  18. And some foolish girls will think that a guy that is stupidly obsessed with them is in love with them.
    Ladies, if he can't allow you visit your friends freely or is always acting jealous, its time to tell yourselves the truth! *FLEE*

    ReplyDelete
  19. @treasure, U̶̲̥̅̊ tuk d words out of mouth!!! Jeez, dose hausa guys v complexes n I thank God I didn't end up with my hausa boyfriend cos by now I might have died or turned into an handicap!**rolling on d floor tanking Jehova**

    ReplyDelete
  20. Very well said.

    ReplyDelete
  21. My husband has 2 of d listed,already left him and I took my kids wiv me,idiot of a man.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Lord help us

    ReplyDelete
  23. They push men for commitment

    They get what they want

    They lose interest in sex

    They become attracted to someone else

    They start cheating

    They become angry and resentful

    They begin telling their partners that they need time apart and start pushing for a separation

    They blame their partners for their behavior...and eventually, after a long time of vacillating back and forth and several failed attempts to give up their affairs, they end their relationships or marriages

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abeg go siddon!!! Woman beater oshi!!!yes people make mistakes cos life didnt come with instructions...instead of you to find a way to make yourself better u are here spewing shit...oloriburuku somebody!!

      Delete
  24. Dis tinz are always so glaring bt somtimes we ladies are jst too jumpy to settle down* we see black nd try to convince oursefs its white wit a lil stain*lol* put God 1st in all u do and allow him to direct ur path, u wud neva go wrong* mind yu, I'm single & waitin on God to perfect mine*Hopeful* #Sugarous Sugar

    ReplyDelete
  25. I identify with a few of the signs listed because trust me, I have been there! Thankfully, it didn't lead to anything, but i did gain a very beautiful, smart and intelligent son from it. He's 4 yrs old now and is the true love of my life. My life task? To train and raise him not to be ANYTHING like his father was!

    ReplyDelete

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