One would think with all the stories we have read on the three parts that we have heard it all
but more woman are getting brave and coming out to tell more shocking stories...I call them beyond belief true life tales....too shocking to be spurned into a movie.
Click on the pictures at the right section of the blog to read Domestic violence diaries 1/2/3.
In Diary 4,we stat with the story of MSPEE who lives in the Diaspora.
MSPEE is not her real name but an abbreviation of her name.
(just like we coined MSKAY to protect identities)
Read,be wise and decide!
Hi Stella,
ReplyDeleteIt's very interesting coming across this wonderful blog of yours exposing
what I call a killer disease that kills most women and they die untimely in
the name of being submissive in marriage.
I'm a victim and I have been seeking how to express what I went
through for 19 years until I came across your blog. I want share my
own experience which I know can be a 'home movie with series of parts'
and when I start, people reading will never believe it to be true. They will
think it's all fiction.
It all started like a dream.I Grew up in a decent home and the eldest of
5 siblings. My maiden family is a loving type and we all have this bond of
love binding all of us together. As a very beautiful young girl (as people said)I had lots of suitors that I missed out on and When this guy came my way, I thought i had eventually gotten what I wanted as he showed lots of care to my family and younger ones.
We dated for 11 months before getting engaged traditionally. He started
showing me some signals when I moved in with him after the engagement.
One day,whilst we were talking about me furthering my studies as he had promised when I was finishing my College of Education, he picked offense and gave me the worst beating of my life.
Then we and his immediate elder brother were sharing the same bedroom while his mum,younger siblings & friends occupy the other room.
He was into trading then, he was somehow comfortable but
unfortunately,he didn't invest it wisely. Before he does anything,he had to ask his mum or elder sister but I kept believing God that one day,he would change.
he was always accusing me of gossiping with my fellow females and sleeping with any male I exchanged greetings with,so because of that i became a recluse and stayed on my own.
There was no love or affection. He only climbed on me whenever he needed sex and once he satisfies himself hes off. I dare not complain!
My mum had warned me to always remain submissive in all things and I tried to obey her. I kept everything to myself because if I dare say anything or tell anyone, I will be dealt with.........Beaten mercilessly without anyone to rescue me.....
More parts coming
As shocking and as extremely emotional this is, I do rejoice with you that you're out of that bondage. I'm happily married & I'm grateful to God for blessing me with a good husband. However, I want to plead with you to move on with your life don't let the past hold you back, fall in love again, get married if u want to prove to your children marriage is not meant to be a bondage it is supposed to be a blessing n not a curse. Let them see d man u were married to was just an animal not a husband so they don't live with the stigma of all they went through! Never ever did I imagine commenting on this blog, I guess sometimes God just wants us to stretch out a helping hand. Fall in love wisely & never EVER commit yourself to a physco in the name of trying to make it work because at d end of d day if God forbid u loose ur life in the process, he will gladly move on to the next. Have a positive mind, say to yourself my past is gone, my future is going to be brighter than I ever imagined. Always say positive things to yourself it works my darling.
DeleteAll these pushed me to knowing God,i had no choice.whilst all this was on,the babies kept coming,then I had my 1st baby, 2nd, 3rd & 4th(which he denied he wasn't responsible until we went went together for an ultrasound & the doctor showed when I took in).
ReplyDeleteHis denial was as a result of him sleeping with a married woman for
2 years, I confronted him but he denied.
So my last baby came after I complained of him not caring, we
slept together and that was how my last baby was conceived.Throughout
the pregnancy,he maltreated me and some point gave me serious
beatings and he was asking if I hadn't died. I hung on and kept on believing God that everything would change...i hung on......
I can't even begin to talk about my experience in the hands of my killer husband. married him for 12 years. lost one of my kids when he was trying to defend me from my husband. he wanted to hit me with an iron rod, my son tried to shield me, the iron landed on his head, he slumped and died. did my husband change? No! I can beat my chest and say I was the best wife ever. up to the point of turning into a 'mumu' because I wanted to please him at all times.
ReplyDeleteHe was a very jealous and insecure man. I am a very beautiful lady. fair skinned and despite my 3kids (one is late now, my husband killed him in the process of beating me).
He would plug electric iron and burn my buttocks and any part of my body. he always tried targeting my face but somehow I always succeeded in covering it while he had access to my body. lots of bruises, burns all over me.
Run to family? they kept sending me back. my parents are late and I am the only child. I would cry to his folks but they kept telling me to pray and persevere.
He was full of pretense as wel. very likeable and sociable. people thought we had the best of marriage. some of my friends even envied me thinking I was married to the best man on earth especially when they see how gorgeous I looked plus the expensive cars I drove. it was all a farce.
My husband was a very rich man. I spoke with a friend and she adviced me to get all the money I can and run away. my husband would not let me work. he would say men will not lay off me. he made me his slave.
most times after he beats me, he comes begging with expensive gifts. two of such apology gifts were a range rover evogue and a bmx x6. I sold the the evogue and lied to him I was robbed and the robbers forced me to tell them about the tracker which I did under duress. he still beat me for it but I sold it and saved some millions. I started pilfering his money, sold almost all expensive jewelries till I raised about 50million.
One blessed day, I took my remaining 2 kids and left before he got back from his trip.
I left and never looked back. the best decision I ever took in my life.
Oh God , tears in my eyes reading ur story Eva. sorry for ur loss. I am also a victim of domestic v and am still with my hubby. I don't know how to leave because of shame. mine is mainly emotional , verbal, financialabuse . I will post my story later.
DeleteNkechi
OMG!! Am so sorry for the death of ur baby, May God grant his soul rest, that would ve bin you dead u know, thank God u have left him now. May God's grace never depart from your life, he will alwyz gv u reasons to be strong and happy, Amen.
Deleteamen!
DeleteAnon, someone is telling a terrible part of her life and you call it a fabricated one? Are u serious? You don't know half of what goes down in some marriages.
DeleteThank God for your life. I truly hope you're still not believing in God for him or any one to change their character. There's no where in the Bible where we are instructed to do so.
ReplyDeleteSubmissiveness should only exist where the man in playing his role as well. The Bible says Christ loves the church and gave His life for the church. A man should love his wife like Christ loves the church and a woman submit like the church to Christ. So please you cannot submit to a violent evil man. It is a sin and God will not answer your prayers.
spot on there!
DeleteNever thot of it like this. All I hear is submit, submit, submit but the man just does whatever he wants. Its such a one sided commitment.
Delete
ReplyDeleteThis lingered on for so many years but I kept believing God that he will
change but no way. He started experiencing some hardships in his
businesses which he said that am the witch in his life. He kept telling
even his family members and friends. But I kept to my faith. He was
monitoring even how much I earned from my salary & took the whole
money but gave me little out of it. I never had anything I wanted. This
pushed me into telling him lies about my salary even when I had increase in my pay..i lied so that I'll have some to use when am in need.
He never wanted me to have mobile phone as he said that I would start making & receiving calls. All the phones I had used were given to me by people.Things became tight for us as my salary couldn't take care of
us. My mum showed her own support but yet he kept lamenting.
It got to a point that his sister living abroad had to make some arrangements for me to come over to work which was eventually a reality.
I traveled leaving my kids,the youngest being2yrs old and my mum helped in caring for my kids while I was away.
When I travelled, God was with me and was working then I planned to
bring the whole family over to stay together. Initially, one of his sisters
was against my plans but I thought it will give the family a meaningful
life. I got their visas, came down to Nigeria and we all came over after
the mum's burial.
Meanwhile, when I was alone abroad alone I fell into temptation
of falling for a male colleague that was showing me some support in my
work because I faced some challenges before I got used to the system. Being first time of seeing a man showing so much concern, I fell for him. We were fond of each other but never went to the extent of having sexual
intercourse because of the of the country we were in.
I confessed to God and begged for forgiveness-that was my only fault so far in the marriage. I confessed to pastors as well & wanted to tell him but was scared that, that might end the marriage.
We came over here & I continued my work & gave my salary everytime i was paid so that he wouldn't feel that I was the one getting the money.
(He couldnt easily get a job because he wasnt a graduate but i didnt care,all i wanted was a loving man and home)i was ready to give him all so as to keep him happy but no way!
At some point, he stopped me calling my widowed mum & siblings accusing me that why we were not very rich as he expected that I was sending money to my mum & siblings (which i wasnt doing), that i was building a house in my home town.
Eventually, I got a job in the country's Oil Company but yet, he still
doubted my salary. Saying that I manipulated my salary & brought home
little- all these were all lies......
Electric iron?
ReplyDeleteBurning of buttocks?
Killed his own child?
Am I hallucinating or actually reading this?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteHe usually comes around my work place to create some nuisance saying
that I go out with my boy friends while at work. He drove me to & fro
work. But yet beat the hell out of me when we get back home. If I get a call from any unknown number, he takes me to the service provider to
retrieve the number & call. If any call comes for me, he instructs that I
put in loudspeaker so that he hears all the conversation. He seized my
phones and later swapped the number I had and gave me the one
he registered in his name and from time to time he demanded for the
call record from the service provider. When he is leaving the house, he
takes my phone, the land phone & disconnects the internet so that I don't
have access to communicate with people.
I lost 2 pregnancies as a result of beatings. The last one died in my
womb & I didn't know until after 2 weeks when I began to feel it.
He became so fetish that he began to consult native doctors on phone. They would tell him all sorts of things. There was no peace at all.
They told him I was sleeping around which was never true but Because I was innocent of all those accusations, I encouraged him to consult any genuine man/woman of God. He did but the evangelist told her the truth about me ....that I once fell for a man but not for sexual intercourse but yet he wasnt satisfied.
Hian!
DeleteHe stopped making love to me for 3yrs and used to cook his own food as instructed by the native doctor
ReplyDeleteOne day, he drove me home and asked me where I went to from my
work, I told him nowhere as I was very serious with my work .i was the
only black & Nigerian working in the place.
He asked my kids out, dragged me inside & asked me to undress and I did out of fear. He inserted
one of his whole hand into my private part, saying that he wants to
punish me for sleeping around.
his whole right hand went into my vagina, he brought out his hands, put it in my mouth & asked me to lick it. I did it with the fear that he might kill me! he said i was sleeping with different men gave men and began to call me awful names like; harlot, prostitute before my kids.
I was screaming.... calling my kids to help but they were helpless. He then used his mobile phone to snap photos of my vagina.
I asked for a glass of water, he got it for me but the whole water
ran out of me immediately I drank it,fear is real.
He forced his penis into my mouth and asked me to suck & I should not bite him or else..... I obeyed.
As that was happening, he pulled out about 16 strands of attachment
from my hair. God hid my life somewhere that I missed to die that day.
*tears*
DeleteYou married a psychopath. And you had self esteem issues which he fed off.
DeleteThe man is a devil,
Delete
ReplyDeleteHe repeated similar thing, but this time, he said he's not gonna beat me
but punish me. he Pushed me down, snapped my private part as usual,
pulled my right leg to the back like the wrestlers do to their opponents.
He started stamping on my breast with his feet. I kept on screaming but
he never cared. In the process of that, he broke his big toe & because of
the pains, he gave me beating that I will never forget. I called out to my kids that I was dying but he covered my mouth with the kids teddy bear but I bit his finger. It was all nightmare that day.
Another scenario was the day he kicked me on the breasts and after that,
he asked me to pick my bag to go for a part time job I do to add to my
main salary(he was actually checking the time). I politely told him that
I've got no more strength as I hadn't eaten since morning & came back to
meet that horrible situation. That I hadnt rested but he was only
concerned about the money I had missed other previous days due to the same scenario. He calculated and reminded me how much I had lost by not going. I just told myself, this man might kill me here and my kids will suffer so I agreed and left the house. He came out and found out that I had run out to the street limping. He came begging that I should get up & go get the money from my part-time job. It's very ridiculous!!
Oh my God.
DeleteNo No No.
This is too much.
All this for a lazy ass hole? He was not working, depends on ur income and still want to snif life out of you! Thank God he didn't kill u on this day cuz that man is devil sent from the pit of hell!! *inserted a full hand into u? Lord ve mercy!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteU were not being truthful to yourself!
DeleteU could have reported this monster to the police!
Its not Nigeria that the Police is crap!
I'm not being insensitive,I'm just being direct!
You were selfish in a way! You didn't think of how these incidents was affecting the kids!
Was he that good in bed ni?
You have said u were the breadwinner,so why were u condoning him!
Even a "chicken" protects her chicks from danger!
I'm sorry but I were not wise at all!
I'm so angry cos I know the experience would have scared the kids!
I agree that the man was a monster,but u need to take responsibility too!
You could have helped yourself and the kids!
There's no gain in self pity!
To all women out there,when u see that ur endurance is affecting your kids,get out!
I'm not married but I've been in a few bad relationships,one violent one and even though I was real,I made a concious decision to get out and I'm sure that I will be more responsible if kids were involved.
Please be wise and let's reduce the number of dysfunctional kids that become adults with the background of DV.
MSPEE,thank God HE saved u.
Thank you.
ReplyDeleteHe came back & asked me for a blood covenant that I will not go after
other men and I did, even up to 2 times. At a point, he asked me to resign and I called on some prominent people to beg him as my job was our only source of livelihood. But he didnt want to listen. He took all the money I had in Nigeria when he was relocating to join me.
I finally resigned .
I agreed to go with him to the shrine(Nigeria) as requested by one of the
native doctors because i couldnt take it anymore. My life was actually going out of me then. I only wanted to take my life ..i had no one,it was a lonely life,i had no one calling me,no friends,no family,no one.
i became so lean that people started rumouring that I have contracted HIV/AIDS. If you had seen me, you wouldn't doubt the rumour cos I looked like one.
The devil was in full coontrol of your marriage at this point hence the blood convenant and shrine visit.
DeleteThe man is sick yes, but you are responsible for your life and your kids. If you had died, my dear I'm sorry to say but you wouldn't have made heaven. Blood convenant and shrine just so you remain a Mrs? No one is responsible for the spirit of another adultm
This is 2 much,when all dis was happening,U̶̲̥̅̊ re d bread winner all U̶̲̥̅̊ would Đ½ÂªvΣ done is 2 take ur kids n take off,U̶̲̥̅̊ Đ½ÂªvΣ ur salary,n y will U̶̲̥̅̊ b withdrawing ur whole money n giving it 2 a man dat don't care.dat man needs 2 b punished as well
Delete
ReplyDeleteWhen I agreed to come to Nigeria for the shrine issue, he instructed that my mum & siblings shouldn't know that we were coming. I obeyed...obeying was the only thing i knew how to do even in the face of all the abuse.
He called a meeting of his family & friends and told stories of how he took me abroad but i started sleeping around with men.
In Nigeria, he kept me in his relatives place but they didn't
support him to take me to a shrine. We eventually went to church where I
took some oaths but yet, things didn't change.
Then my family got to know about my arrival in Nigeria they sought & found me. They were not happy how I looked. They inquired from my husband as they had heard from people but rather he started insulting my mum telling her that she killed my dad that I can't kill him. That am sending money to my mum but she (my mum) would not live to enjoy the money. These all happened before me but i kept pleading. After that scenario, people advised that he should go & make peace with my mum but he said over his dead body.
ReplyDeleteMy family later took me away as people's effort to to settle the issue was fruitless. He called police to arrest me and other things. He took some of clothes to native doctor for charms but when people confronted him, he burnt it. He seized all my academic certificates till date . He denied ever seeing them.
He finally left me in Nigeria & traveled back but My family raised some
money for me to come back but decided that I should not go back to him
least i die all in the name of staying Married,. I heeded to that.
I finally filed for divorce which has been granted me with my kids
custody. It's not easy at all. Living as a single mum is not easy . This is
not what I expected from marriage as a christian. It was not an
easy decision to pull out,IT WAS NOT EASY but I wanted to live for my kids. I wanted to be there for them as they are the only thing I have got. I had lost out on love and marriage but my life was more important than any of these...if i had stayed and died,life would still go on for everyone else .
Thank God you woke up eventually!
Delete#rme
Sorry but it seems you didn't really learn from your experience. First of all, based on this story, you are not a Christian as you claim. Which scripture instructed you to allow your self to be dehumanised to stay married. My dear. Have you heard of Ephesians? You served a man not God. Second, your immediate reaction to the end of this torture is that being single is not easy. I find that to be very immature and ungrateful of you. You have your life and your kids. Third, you did not decide to pull out of the marriage, the man abadoned you and his kids. So there was no breaking point for. No point when you said ENOUGH! If not for you then at least for your kids. If he had not returned abroad without you, you could possibly still be with him.
DeleteYou say you missed out on love - you never had love.
After reading about the beatings and the sexual assaults, the native doctor and evangelist who mysteriously knew about the man you fell for, I am of the impresssion that you have some psychological problems to have gone along with the madness. If you do not seek the proper help - a councelor not shrine- you will without a doubt enter into another abusive and frankly ridiculous marriage.
Lord Jesus pls have Mercy
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI hope that God will help me to be stabilized financially to be able to care
for my four lovely kids.
I've bounced back to my former self. I no longer look like a HIV/AIDS
patient. I was so scared & ashamed initially and never wanted to discuss
this with anyone ,not even my family and friends.
and I had no friends then as he deleted all their numbers and deleted them out of my life..i was kept isolated but thank GOD i have got my family and friends back.
I thank God for my life today. Each time I remember some of the things
that had happened to me, it motivates me to worship God for I know he
reserved my life for some purpose.
I tried to put the whole thing in concise because this is what started over
19 years ago but I kept believing God that he's gonna change for good
but rather the worst happened...Once it starts,it never gets better
I will alwz rem u in my prayer! Jezz!! U went tru hell. My happiness is dat u came out alive. The lord who kept u alive kept u for a purpose, his tot are of gud to make u prosper! God wil never leave u, his wil must come to pass in ur life. You are a Victor!
DeleteIt's good that people share stories like this. The signs are always always always there. But again marriage is a journey with parcels that you have to open everyday of your life. New day, new surprise. Marriage is a trick God uses to draw people closer to him. It's only takes the grace of God walahi!
ReplyDeleteHonestly I don't know whether to be annoyed or pained at your story mspee. Like you said it sounds like a movie. Even movies are not as unbelievable as this. I'm not going I say you are lying. I'm just a bit apprehensive cus I simply can't imagine going thru all that in the hands of a man. I probably would have killed him a long time ago. Iin the first he wouldn't have seen any visa to move abroad and secondly I will not live in a developed country where all I have to do is go to the police and report and have him thrown out of the house, and then I won't do just that??? Well anyways, only the person wearing the shoes knows where it hurts. Lol
ReplyDeleteGod bless u menh , mspeee all naa lie abeg dis is a yoruba movie whr I guess u were in Ghana not anywere near UK or US liar liar oshi
DeleteGirls its so possible. But it depends on the will power the woman has. A man can really make a woman feel useless if she allows him. I have a bf who hasn't touched me yet but the signs are there and I see them clearly. I'm at the door. Sometimes I think to myself that finding someone else might not be easy but I'd rather be single for the rest of my life than allow a man abuse me for one second in my marriage. The signs are always there but u have to be so strong and sensitive to see them because once it starts, it kinda takes over u and you can't get out. There's also the issue of brainwashing. It's real. Once a man starts to say you're not obedient and submissive for silly reasons, voila! There u have it..... pack ya load nne.
DeleteMe too,I just tire for dis story.
Delete#speechless# sobbing* Lord pls save me cos it seems am about to fall in to dis same situation, cos wen he gets Angry he hits me n later blame me for pushing him God pls am begging you Direct my foot step reading all dis am tired, weak,sick N ma head is Banging thinking about d future cos d foundation seem faulty already.
ReplyDelete@Doyin Read the signs girl.In capital letters!
DeleteMspee,ur story sounds like a horror movie.Why did u have to wait 19 yrs to get a divorce?
Which future? And what foundation is shaky? A man beats you like a dog and then blames you for it. Because you want to marry. You have zero pride. If a women were to slap you I'm sure Yoruba babe like you can kill her. But because you want wear wedding dress you're asking silly questions.
DeleteJESUS CHRIST! Mspee am actually shedding tears of anger! I am really angry. I just can't describe how I am feeling at this story. God forgive me but I wish that monster you called your husband endless sorrow, agony, perpetual pains and most of all may his death be gory and pathetic! I pray your life will be filled with peace and abundant joy. God bless
ReplyDeleteThis is jst too much nau haba...y ll you wait til you suffer al dis, its senseles really!
ReplyDeleteNa wa ooo , Lord have mercy. #speechless#. Men?
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteHeaven knows i am not exaggerating these stories. My eldest child who's a teenager knows all.
Sometimes, the younger ones act play with what they have seen. I started
from the scratch to make ends meet to the extent that I went to houses of
my former colleagues in the Oil Company until I eventually got a job with
lesser salary. At some point, I went for begging at a shopping mall to get
things for my kids to eat. I promised my loving kids that I will always be
there for them. They have seen my sufferings but I hate to discuss all
those awful/painful experiences before them as he's still their dad.
Since I left him, I have been having some suitors who wants to care for the kids & I but I promised God that I will not fail Him or disappoint my kids. Who knows the kind of person the next suitor will be???. Even my girls are scared of getting married because they think that all marriages is like what they saw their father doing to me but I always use my younger sister who is happily married as an example.
May God use my story to help you see where you are blind and may those of you who are still in bondage know that if you use the kids as an excuse to stay,you might not live to see them become adults.
Thank you and God bless you....I feel free after sharing my story.
Lord have mercy, MSPEE you went thru all this in the hand of a "beast" and you are still alive, GOD LOVE YOU SISTER-GIRL.....Ladies we need to shine our eyes well oooo, and listen to that inner voice God gave us.
ReplyDeleteSometimes we can feel, see it that something ain't right but we still go ahead. No one can change anyone, except God. Don't go into marriage thinking you can change your wife or husband nasty/ abusive behavior.
And I repeat it is better to be divorcee than to be six feet under. Don't let society outlook, family influence, pastor advise make you stay with a killer. Because when you are gone, all of them go attend your funeral and lives goes on. Better to be alive than to die untimely death due to spousal abuse. TO ALL THOSE IN THE SAME SITUATION, FIND A WAY TO ESCAPE NOW NOW NOW!!!
EVA, I salute your courage for leaving...may the soul of your son rest in peace.
ReplyDeleteLadies we sincerely need God's direction before going into marriage o. With all these stories about spousal abuse everywhere am now developing cold feet towards marriage.#na wah o#
ReplyDeleteBabe no be only u o. Marriage de fear me o
DeleteMSPEE, pls in which country/CITY are you? IS THE MAN STILL LIVING IN THAT COUNTRY? DOES HE STILL VISIT THE KIDS? DO THEY CONNECT WITH HIM? WHAT DID THE MAN DO WITH YOUR NAKED PIX? JUST IMAGINING WHAT YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH . . . GOD'S GRACE! ONE LAST QUESTION PLEASE; WHY DID YOU NOT CALL THE COPS ON HIM WHEN ALL THESE STARTED?
ReplyDeleteMSPEE. Chai. May God comfort you.
ReplyDeleteI simply can't comprehend it.
The only way I can rationalize what your crazy ex-husband did is to conclude that he had serious mental illness. And he used some fetish means to stop you from leaving him, despite the inhuman suffering you were subjected to.
So you believe that his actions were HIS mental state and hers completely out of her control? Miss Pee was also responsible for what she went through. From the first time he hit her she should have left. They didn't have kids then so what was she staying for? She did not look after herself at all.
DeleteComing all the way to Nigeria to swear at a shrine? On top the same infidelity issue?
ReplyDeleteI think he wanted to use you for rituals but God saved you.
May God continue to protect and provide for you.
Mspee,you took on a lot!Many women go thro shit!it baffles me wen women who re battered and keep it a secret,despise unmarried ladies who dnt want to make same mistake!let's stop pleasing society oooooo!!!Many ve gone!Mrs,Ms or Miss should not validate or invalidate anyone!Signed:wide eyed!
ReplyDeleteI can just picture MSPEE limping out to the street after being kicked. And then being asked to go to part time work again. After the normal day job?
ReplyDeleteWhat was the mad man doing all that time? No job? Or he was doing correspondence course in herbalist apprenticeship.
Depending on a woman who he treats worse than a slave. No need to curse him. He has cursed himself
MISSPEE...may God kip granting u d strength n d means to tkia of urslf n d kids; as 4 ur ex-hubby, his case is in heaven!...love u much...Zi
ReplyDeleteEhn? Was dis happening for real or its fictional?don't want to believe u actually condoned such bestiality?hope u are out of there now? God!!!.
ReplyDeleteOmg.....I wudda killed him d day he killed my son...
ReplyDeleteI am telling you! I don't understand how women wait so long in this dv issue, it's been drummed in my head from day1 , he lifts his hand, even if na play? Run!
DeleteEhn? Was dis happening for real or its fictional?don't want to believe u actually condoned such bestiality?hope u are out of there now? God!!!.
ReplyDeleteIv seen worse! Just still too painful to share my story after 8 years! **sob** sobb***
ReplyDeleteA problem shared my dear...just share
DeleteU too like gist abeg
DeleteThis sis just too much to take..that man is a bastaRDo....may thunder faya him wherever he is
ReplyDeleteI recollect vividly that at the age of 3 or thereabout,my dad beat my mum so terribly that she had to run with us(my brother and I) to my grandma's. He stopped caring(he never cared actually) to the point that he disowned us several years down the line.It was a struggle for my mum to cater for her too kids and see herself thru school as well.My dad came back to apologise to my brother and I when I was about to finish high school but he had a hidden agenda:he began telling us tales with the aim of turning us against our mum. I grew up bitter and suicidal (no one knows this till date) and in my quest for validation,I fell into the arms of this charmer in my university.Gosh!!! When I think back,I wonder what I was thinking.He wasn't a violent person but the emotional abuse was on another level.He would cheat with anything in skirt and I would be the one to beg and plead with him to take me back at a point I lost all my friends cos they thought he had cast a spell on me. I lost focus of why I was in school had problems in my academics in my bid to be at his beck and call. He knew he could get away with anything so he kept be abuse coming. He graduated and went to serve,but went it was my turn to go,he wanted me to be a ghost corper so he could monitor my every move but I would have none of that.By then I had started asking myself some serious questions.I had had enough and told him so. At first he thought I was kidding but when it dawned on him dat it was for real,he sent peeps to beg me not to go but there was no going back for me dats six (6) years of my life down the drain. But I was scared about something else;the dreaded virus so I braced myself and went to get tested.Luckily it came back negative #whew!!!. Now i'm unto the next phase of my life with bright prospects as for my dad,I still don't like him but what can I do? It's a known fact that daugheters marry their fathers be he an ogre or a prince. So chics should be on the look out.Mothers in abusive relationships should take their kids and run far from the beasts because it would mess ur kids up psychologically and enlighten ur daugheters on the signs to look out for. God saved me!!!
ReplyDeleteYou and your mum showed more sense and basic self respect than MissPee.
DeleteYou and your mum showed more sense and basic self respect than MissPee.
Deletehmmmmmmmmm....i think i kow mspeee......
ReplyDeleteEvangelist you don reach here?
DeleteEvangelist you don reach here?
DeleteHi Stella,
ReplyDeleteI just bless God's name for you. My prayer is that women should not in the name of marriage remain in a home until they die painfully leaving behind innocent kids to suffer. The moment a man start raising his hands, that is a dangerous signal 'RED LIGHT.' Before I backed out, I was seeing it as a taboo for a devoted christian mother to quit her marriage. I used to advice people to stay & work it out that with prayer everything will change. But in this case, NO! Especially when he became fetish. Then I knew that anything can happen. Just like a day after a very busy day at work, came home the news he gave me was that one of the native doctors (a woman this time) said that she saw me standing on the road signifying that soon am gonna die. Coming back, he called the lady to speak to me direct. She spoke to me that am gonna die soon that it's better I come to the shrine, confess & there will be absolution. But I told her, if I had sinned, I sinned only to mu hubby & God not which I have sought their forgiveness. That it's unfortunate am Jesus'Daughter, she was offended hearing that name & said that am now calling that name that he should leave & mind his kids that soon am gonna die. When the call ended, I cried to God that since this woman is an agent to break my home, that she's gonna die but surprisingly, my ex hushed & said that am gonna die not the woman. God delivered me. If had died then, I will go to hell because all my prayers then were all complain. Was not myself; psychologically,emotionally and otherwise. My self esteem was thrown to mud. I was always confused in what to do. I was at some point referred to a psychologist and neurologist as my health was deteriorating. But I still thank God for HIS, CARE, PROTECTION & MERCY. I am alive today by HIS grace. My comforter when am lonely. I still pray for his repentance though.
If you are in such situation beloved sisters out there, first of all, go to God in prayer and HE will make ways of escape for. You're not gonna die. He will surprise you if you remain faithful. Stay alive for your kids. God will guide you.
Still Many Thanks Stella.
Sum Pple kip sayin divorce is against d will of God & I kip asking dem dt is it until dt persn dies dt dey'l all knw dt divorce was an option? MSPEE, am hapi dt u r alive... I saw dos abussive signs b4 marriage & I still went ahead wt d marriage. Ma in-laws weren't hlping mataz too: I suffered physically, emotionally & sexually & I kept on enduring bt wen I cldnt, I had 2 flee for ma lyf. It was jst too much, ma moda in-law was in support of ma hubby's flirting around 2 d extent dt wen I saw sum hotel receipt in his pocket, I tld ma moda inlaw bt all she cld tell me was dt her son is still very young 2 stick 2 jst one woman dt I shd let her son be. Sum moda inlaws r jst terrible. Ladies dt r nt married, wen u see dos abussive signs b4 marriage run 4 ur lyf, he's nt going 2 change wen u get married it will only become worst. Bolanle
DeleteMiss Pee, you were not a Christian during your marriage. Christianity is a lifestyle. You live it. Its not about taboos that are convinient to you. You accepted the influence of native drs and suspicious phone evangelist in your marriage.
DeleteNote to the world : If somebody is about to kill you, you better run oooooooo! Don't sit down there and be saying divorce is not God's will. You'll just die inside "God's will" , if you want to obey God, leave and then don't marry again, so you won't commit adultery, but you must leave o!
Deletenawa oo, things wey pple dey see 4 der marriage plenty.my advice 4 pple is if u cant bear d pains jst quit b4 u die.cos pple are not worth dieing 4.if u eventually die someone gat to replace ur position
ReplyDelete/// he wanted to hit me with an iron rod, my son tried to shield me, the iron landed on his head, he slumped and died.
ReplyDeleteHe would plug electric iron and burn my buttocks and any part of my body. he always tried targeting my face but somehow I always succeeded in covering it while he had access to my body. lots of bruises, burns all over me. ///
This was reported in the newspapers, didnt think the woman lived long enough to tell the gist
All i want is for dat beast to b punished... I knw he can never go free. He will never see peace since he had the mind to do dis to do dis to a good wife he had. Jst be strong mspee! U r nt alone Jesus is with u. Amen
ReplyDeleteIf he repents God will forgive him. Please pray that God will be merciful and turn him away from his wicked ways. The Bible says God can turn our hearts of stone to hearts of flesh. Making us kinder and more understanding of each other. Please be aware that in spite of the devastatingly horrific nature of the man's actions, liars, thieves, fornicators, magicians, cowards, and murderers will receive the same judgement as he will. So let us aim for healing, peace of mind and forgiveness.
DeleteChristianityRocks*
If he repents God will forgive him. Please pray that God will be merciful and turn him away from his wicked ways. The Bible says God can turn our hearts of stone to hearts of flesh. Making us kinder and more understanding of each other. Please be aware that in spite of the devastatingly horrific nature of the man's actions, liars, thieves, fornicators, magicians, cowards, and murderers will receive the same judgement as he will. So let us aim for healing, peace of mind and forgiveness.
DeleteChristianityRocks*
i doubt if this man has the capacity to ask God for forgiveness. And God will surely give this man seven fold of what he did to his wife. The bible says so. Bullshit!!!
DeleteHe does have the capacity to repent. That is the salvation bought by the cross. Joyce Meyer's father sexually abused her for many years but God used her to bring him to repentance. Child sexual abuse is a million times worse than what MissPee went through. Children have no choice. MissPee wanted to remain a Mrs against all odds. That was her choice and if she does not accept some responsibility for what she put herself and her children through and repents she will repeat her mistakes.
DeleteNa wa O. May our good God guide n protect u IJN Amen
ReplyDeleteMy heart is really bleeding @ D̶̲̥̅̊ thought of all dis happening to HUMANS. Wat kinda endurance is dat. Am sorry, I can't take shit from any man aldou I pray to av a stable and happy home. I pray dat God will deliver all dos goin thru DV from D̶̲̥̅̊ clutches of devil in disguise in D̶̲̥̅̊ form of dia husband. and may God help D̶̲̥̅̊ single ladies to choose right
ReplyDeleteAnon 4:34pm u are an insensitive bastard. What do u mean 'liar liar'? Is she asking u for money? Of what use is her lie to absolute strangers on here? U are a moron that needs to be confined into the eccentric dept of any mental institution! Your shallowness beats me. An absolute stranger has come out to share her very heart wrenching testimony so that FOOLS like yourself will not fall prey..but no...you say she's lying?? I pray you experience same in 7folds. Bloody irritant!
ReplyDelete@MsPee I salute your courage. Thank God for u. But u say being a single mom is hard? U were already a single mom even before the marriage ended madame. You were not into a marriage as far as am concerned...you were enslaved. Even house gals we hire these days cannot endure what u did in the hands of a person who's suppose to be ur 'lover' and the father of ur kids. Pathetic.
@Eva. I swear down I love your common sense. You did very well, u are just a sharp woman. Very well done for saving that much money from the lunatic. And btw, why isn't he in jail? If he 'killed' his own child eventhough it was a mistake? That alone is will suffice it to put him behind bars for life. Bloody animal!
Domestic help are employees so don't really get your comparison. I mean, a marriage is harder to leave than a job regardless of the circumstances.
DeleteOr are you just a wicked madam to your househelps? I think so cos you sound harsh.
Stella pls delete annon July 13, 2013 at 4:18 PM's comment.. Mj
DeleteMay God see mspee n oda ladies tru....men r evil
DeleteItz not so easy to work out u know. Pple around wud ask u to leave but Itz not as easy as you think. Eventually u will work away but the society we live in and sometimes our parents and families makes it hard for 1 to walk away. It's always too gud to be true til d monster in him strikes. I walked away within a year coz I love myself too much. Bless my wonderful father who's been so supportive. My advice is "okele gbigbe pelu irorun o San ju chicken pelu ekun" damn finance or society and save your life.
ReplyDeleteThank God you left with your life intact!! God has shown that HE loves you sooooo much, many women didn't go through half of all u went through with their lives intact and stories to share..I pray you get your kids back.
ReplyDeleteSingle ladies like myself, let's shine our eyes well before marriage. Marriage no be do or die affair
Sugar says:
ReplyDeletei must say this. Now i am in the Lord so... Back in school i dated this Yoruba guy. He wasn't my first boy friend but he was the first i ever slept with. Then friends will say the first guy you sleep with will be like heaven and you will never leave him. One day, i lost my virginity to him. I was so scared, my face got swollen. I didn't want to get pregnant, then i began to take precautions but the thing was that i had to beg him to help out in that regard. He was stingy. If i went out of town without telling me, he'd say, i hope you are still the same way i left you. The day i heard that i was shocked beyond belief. The beautiful thing here is, i wastched my dad abuse my mum so it was easy to spot the signs early. And this was our first month in the relationship.... And i don't forget easily. He will cheat, make sure i cook his meals before going to school that is whenever i spent the night, hated PDA, quarrelled every time and that drained the life out of me. I would even use my money to cook for him sometimes. He cheat on me with the worst of persons and i wondered is this the level i have been reduced to. A man doing this when i ha ve a history. I got angry and we broke up then got back together again after much pleading. One time i asked him for money to help my friend out but he refused saying he doesn't give women money and i the idiot loved him or so i thought. It might have been that the last heartbreak i suffered did not permit me to want to be out of a relationship again (how callous). When he said that i knew that i will not be staying long cause there is NO WAY in this world that i would stay with a stingy man. I was soooooo good to this mofo. One day, he told me he wouldn't be spending the week in his house but in his friend's place. I had not seen him for a few days; i'd missed him.
Sugar says:
ReplyDeleteSo one day, went to check him out at his friend's place but he wasn't there. His friend knew what he was up to so he gave the t-fare to go see him. I went there in the night while it was raining with the intention of sleeping over only to see that two females were playing court. I got in, removed my jacket and began to clean up the kitchen. I must say i got a very rude reception from him. The house became tense, the chic got angry, wondering what was up. He could send me away. I hadn't eaten, he gave the food to the dogs in front of me. I took of my clothes, went to wash my hair in the bathroom while i took my bath, then i stepped out again to ask him to come wash my hair for me, only for him to shout at me. I got back in, finished bathing and changed into his sweats shirt. I came into the bedroom where he and the girls were watching tv to sleep and he began to shout that i won't sleep here. I shouted at him back. He couldn't match me cuz then i was unstoppable when angry. He had to leave the bedroom for the other room. I was livid, cried inside my heart, i was in pain. At 5a.m. the girls packed their things and left. I stayed a bit, took my time and packed everything that was mine in his house. Meanwhile, a friend of his visited him, it was on front of this friend that he swore to beat me up while that friend told him to cool down. What was my offence? I wanted to ask a question? I just chuckled silently then told him i was going. He didn't escort me beyond his gate but asked me when next we will see and i said, you know my house. I knew fully well that he will not visit cause he had messed up big time. I suffered emotionaly in that relationship, my school work suffered. I got so many Fs and Ds, had so many carry-overs. It was pitiful.
Sugar says:
ReplyDeleteNot long after this we went on strike. I was happy cause that would mean, i will take the time to get over him properly and get myself together. See a man that i did his laundry by hand??!! During the strike which lasted for 6months, he was dealt with by another girl then he went around looking for me. There were no mobile phones then and he didn't
have my e-mail. He had to go to my friends and ask them. They refused giving it out cause they know how i would react to that. My mind had long been made up and when it bets to that level, it is difficult for me to make a u-turn. I got back from the strike to see two long apology thesis from him. This was something he would never do before. He was begging like a dog asking his master for meat. I was a young undergraduated and he was worling at the time. Hmmmm.... I didn't heed to that. After he came with a stranger with tribal marks on his face to beg. I later call that man his traditional ruler but i refused. To put myself through that mental torture a third time will be foolish. I refused. His friends that i know would not want to beg. They infact endorsed my move. After that, God showed him pepper. A lady whom he had duped, traced him to his house from western nigeria and had him arrested, he was detained then released to pay up the money. What did he do? He ran away from his house, put a statue of Jesus at his gate as a decoy of some sort (so i heard). Then relocated to a village then began to live in a house that was decripit, dilapidated. The day i saw him, i was shocked but i had no pity for him. Cursed man he is! Life became better for me. I couldn't have allowed that charlatan or any man beat me, i was not into martial arts for nothing. I am born again now and i have been taught to know my worth. One of the things taught in my cnurch to us girls is our worth is of inesteemable value, so i hold my head high. I am not married yet but i am so not in a rush. Ladies, the signs are always there. This relationship i write about lasted only a month. That was the much i could endure. Please, do not tie urself to the apron strings of tradition: no man is worth it. Do you know why? They are ordinary men and in the day God created man and woman he called both of them Adam in the day he created them (Gen 5:1-2 KJV)
Anon July 14 at 8:12pm - ure so mean. Her point is u shud read between the lines and don't let any man treat u less.
ReplyDeletethank you Stella! you just deleted those comments.... 8chop kiss*
ReplyDeletePlease take off ur sun glasses of myopic blindedness before u attempt to comment in this diary.i have been deleting comments that i shouldnt have enabled in the first place becos some some pple are wickedness personified.
ReplyDeleteThis is a diary where pple are opening up and sharing their pain,if you think their story is unblieveable,pls sutff ur opinion down your throat and dont leave it cos i will be deleting insensitive commenst in the diaries from now on.
I sincerely apologise to anyone who might have been put off from sharing their stories.
thanks babe! Chop knuckle
Deletethis is so heart breaking.no body deserves to go through such wickedness in the name of marriage.God comfort all the women suffering all forms abuse.Amen
ReplyDeleteWhoever you are and where ever you are ,i want to tell you about one saving grace to whatever ure going through in your marriage or relationship right now.its a solid rock in times of trouble and that is God.i am not talking about religion and infact i dont even know what religion is.i am talking about the God who created you and put you in your mothers womb.the God that created your abusive partner and also holds him or her in the palm of his hands.i want you to use the weapon of prayer to change whatever might be going on in ur marriage and believe that God has the ability to change your situation.im also not talking about church,because so many times,even the church has let us down.im talking about waking up in the morning and laying all your issues and problems at Gods feet just like you are doing on this blog now.Talk to him as if you are gisting with your bestfriend.you will be suprised that God hears.so many people have tried it that even the demons in their spouses have heard to leave forthem to enjoy a peaceful marriage.every man and woman has a right to enjoy peace in their marriage. i want you to know that its a journey,as you talk to God you will hear God speak to you in so many ways.open your heart and believe that He is able to help you.however i want you to start this journey by simply saying;lord of my life,Jesus,come into my life and start this journey with me.let your spirit guide me and lead.i have tried to do this on my own and it hasnt worked,so im doing it your way this time.let me experience your love.thank you lord.
ReplyDeletei promise you that it wont all go away,but at least you have the assurance that someone is on your side.
MSPEE, well I have read your story and I want to tell you that God has already comforted you. Please try and let your girls know that NOT all men are like that.
ReplyDeleteCan't still believe what I read about you is the truth!
God bless you with the man that will comfort you for all the pains.
HERO