Hello Stella,I have been following your Encomium colum gistscafe and was quite excited to find your blog and find that it is interactive.I need help,this is the last sane alternative I need to my predicament. I never knew ill ever write a touchee story for public consumption.I need advice from your mature readers on what to do.
I'm 30yrs old and a graduate. I met my boyfriend in my 3rd year in school and he was my first, also as regards sex! I come from an over strict home. My boo is my ideal guy and without pretence, an extremely nice guy. Its been 8yrs we started dating and before anyone crucifys me, I'm not stupid. We planned marriage right after NYSC, but naija's economy hasn't been funny.
He just got a small job last year and I'm presently unemployed(we both made very good results and capital for biz hasn't been easy cos that's the line I'm towing).mind u, we aren't looking for a very expensive wedding, but just enough to start our home. I'm well known and accepted in his family cos ours is a distance affair and my boo is the last. We had our wedding plans set for this December until the shocker!
........My boo has an elder brother that has been in the USA for many years. A Doctor who is now more onyiboish than a nigerian in his ways. He is/was still very single at 45. Now, he came back to Nigeria to inform his parents of his plans to settle down and naturally everybody is happy until it turns out the fiancee is my elder sister's phone boyfriend from the USA!
My elder sister is the first girl in my family and single at 39yrs so you can understand this is all the miracle she needs. This is the first time they are seeing and they are planning a september wedding.
Stella, I'm going mad. I've known my boo all the years his other siblings met their spouses and I even attended their wedding. Now, everyone thinks I should give my sister a chance and my boos family, excluding him were/are happy that the 'runaway' son is back! A friend advised me to get pregnant and I'm seriously considering that.
What do i do?
Thanks,
Naomi.
THIS IS AN ADDENDUM FROM NAOMI
''This is Noami and the story above is mine. For those asking why my sister and I can't marry same brothers? Yes, its culturally a taboo in the south eastern village where I come from. Otherwise, I wldnt have asked for advice. Thanks Stella for posting my story and also those that have replied
*Sterra faints*
shebi two sisters married from the same family here in lagos sef. those twobthat own one popular cosmetic line (cant figure out the name now). if its not a taboo,nne 'di di uko'. bt let those that no d tradition enlighten us here.
ReplyDeleteshyla
This is Noami and the story above is mine. For those asking why my sister and I can't marry same brothers? Yes, its culturally a taboo in the south eastern village where I come from. Otherwise, I wldnt have asked for advice. Thanks Stella for posting my story and also those that have replied
DeleteMiss Naomi, I dint get ur plight initially.....So you nd ur sis, getting married to brothers is a Taboo? Ogaoo' What kind of F**ked Tradition/culture is that? Not trivializing, this isn't 1650's. Are you for Christianity or Tradition? **hangs mic**
DeleteSoma what r u talking about? R u not ibo? Can You marry ur sister's mother in law? Then why should u marry ur sister in law. I am ibo and she is right. In my village close in laws like this cannot marry. That's why we ibos are a superior tribe. 'Dont care what tribalistic haters have to say' tongue out' chi.
DeleteAbeg make una no talk wetin una no know o. Person talk sey na taboo 4 her place una dey tel her about Christianity. Where I come 4rm, it is a taboo. I am 4rm Delta State, Aniocha North LGA. Ukwu_nzu village.
DeletePoster just talk 2 ur sister and both parents. U all should b able 2 settle dis with maturity and God's leading
Did a lil findings about this issue, its not so in my Village Two brothers can marry from same family. Like wise two sisters from a family
DeleteCongratulations on ur research! Now SHUT UP and grow up
DeleteSoma are u sure u are ibo? go and check youself very well oh in ibo land it is a taboo for two sisters to even marry frm the same family talk more of marrying brothers
DeleteSoma, they have helped me to reply you. I wanted to ask if you were from the forbidden forest. All this lagos ibo boys claiming to know tradition. I doubt if you even remember your grandmother or even your village. I laught at the fact that you had to research this topic. This is what you should know as at the day you were born. You had better watch out so you won't impregnate two sisters. With love...lol
DeleteIts also a taboo in Yorubaland, certain Yoruba cultures won't even let cousins in law get married not to talk of brother and sister in law so please stop with the superior tribe thing.
DeleteWho told u Somadina has ever been to Lagos? him never even cross osha main bridge b4. Na proper Osha boy, u can even tell long ago from his write up
DeleteSuperior tribe my ass! Ode oshi! These pple be getting ish in their heads...
DeleteWo! Naomi go to the registry with ur bobo, host a couple of fam n frnds that support u in a small wedding reception (as witnesses) n get preggy, this is not biscuit or a seat that u can give up n look on, it's ur man n ur life, so fight for it coz if u give in due to sentiment or unnecessary pressure, u might remain a single miserable woman n sentiment won't keep u company or father ur children in ur later years, don't sacrifice ur happiness for any1. Lock that man down! 8years is not moimoi...Finish!
Somadina is Igbo and I know Igbo brothers that married Igbo sisters. In my place, it is allowed. So stop bullying Soma on her facts. If it doesn't happen in your place, it happens elsewhere.
DeleteSo effing what?! What's the biggie in your fiance's brother getting married to your sis? Is that an abomination in Nigeria?...cos I don't see what the problem is!
ReplyDeleteLucinda
Aunty lucinda, madam kenya, maybe in your community you even marry your children. But in nigeria we respect our tradition. From your pix you are dressed like a snake girl. Shows you are not even sure if understand your tradition. Please go and weave your basket jare. Sadist. With love...lol
DeleteOhmygosh!!! That's serious! Sorry dear. My advise is this: your sister and this guy are only phone friends. Ask her if she really is in love with this guy. A man of 45 in oyibo land turning up suddenly??? It's a bit weird. It's not because your elder sister is 39 that she should fall straight into his arms. She needs to get to know him first. I can bet my right arm that she will marry him in September and regret it for the rest of her life. You, on your side, have known ur sweetheart for 8 years and can vouch for him any day. At least you know what you are getting into. Ask your sister if she is really ready to marry this 'stranger'. God's Grace. Chi
ReplyDeleteNice reply. May God continue to bless mature and wonderful people like you. Stella you should be handing out gifts to the best answers. With love...##
DeleteThanks, I think this is good advice.
DeleteOde! U r hyping urself, same manner of typing! Kmt! So many deluded pple. U can bet ur right arm, mschew, u'll become handicapped for nothing, how can u be so sure when u r not God, n then if she asks her sister n her sister says she wants to marry him @ all costs, what then? Naomi go for ur man! Simple.
Delete@anon 2:53pm
DeleteLmao...
My dear you can still get married to your boo. I confirmed this when I went to the court to apply for my wedding months ago. Go to Ikoyi registry, they will give you a list of who you CANNOT marry under the nigerian law, "brother in law" is NOT one of them so you don't have any issue at all.
ReplyDeleteLmao. ..really. .Hehehehe
DeleteI don't see where the problem is here, i think it is ok if you really love your fiance and your sister loves her's too, there is nothing whether spiritually, culturally or otherwise stopping both of you from marrying brothers.
ReplyDeleteMmmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteseriously there's no Ish here! Asin I can't point out any bad thing here....
ReplyDeleteHow is it a shocker? *confused face*.
ReplyDeleteLike seriously,I don't see Your point. Of course two sisters can marry 2brothers. So kini big deal. Abeg free ur sister oh.she's 39 biko.di di uko.marry urs let. Her marry hers
ReplyDeleteMy ϑε̲ãr u don't have a problem at all. U can still marry Ï…̲̣̥r̲̅ Boo. My younger sister is married Ï„̅☺ my husbands younger brother. I got here first though n i hv 3kids. My sis comes here whenevr she's on break from school. My Bro in law saw her and liked her ane eventually they got married. And its been smooth. Her home is just 5mins drive from mine. No one is complaining. Everyone is happy! So i see no problem here at all. Except maybe it isint right in Ï…̲̣̥r̲̅ village. But its ☺ķªª¥ in nig. Chi
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing wrong in this one naaa....both brother can marry both sisters. u never hear twin brothers getting married to twin sisters? My dear, you guys should go ahead and get married. you can even do both on same day to cut cost. since the oyinbo guy should be loaded, that will save you some wedding expense you and ur boo would have expended if you were to plan a separate wedding.
ReplyDeleteI don't think marrying from the same family is against the rules, dunno what part of nigeria you're from but where I'm from its not considered an abomination.
ReplyDeleteI dnt see a problem here. Is it a taboo for two sisters to marry from a family? Never hrd of such! Do you think you have to get pregnant? Does it stop their own wedding?
ReplyDeletewhy is this a problem for you please? I just do not understand your plight.
ReplyDeleteMy dear there is no big deal. I ve seen a thing like dt where 2 sisters married 2 brothers. Their own happened dt d 1st son got married 2 d younger Sister while d 3rd son married d elder sister $ dey are all living happily.so pls dear marry ur boo $ let ur sis marry her boo bcs age is no longer on ur sis side abeg oh!
ReplyDeleteI see nothing wrong in you getting married to ur boo. Except there's something you aren't telling us here
ReplyDeletehttp://sleek-lady.blogspot.com
i wonder when we Nigerians will liberate ourselves from useless archaic customs that have no meaning in the modern world.
ReplyDeletewhy should that be an issue when you are not related? who even started the culture/tradition and what is the purpose?
i am 100% sure that the sister will never leave the "last minute.com" american bobo so a lot depends on how enlightened and forward thinking your parents are
Lmao at "last minute.com, hilarious
DeleteLuca, thank you oh.
DeleteCulture this, culture that!
Please, who formulated all these culture stuffs you all are following?
As for me, culture won't determine how I will live my life; the Word of GOD is my guide!
Culture will deny some their destined partners. As long as y'all aren't blood related, I don't see anything wrong with it.
Poster, have you prayed about it? Remember the plan of your maker for your life SUPERSEDES any culture.
My dear don't let sex turn u into a mother before love turns you into a wife !!! It is not bad @ all that his brother wants ur sis !!! I even think its a blessing , ur fiance Is not financially strong so u guys can take advantage of d situation and wed on the same day !! The bible doesn't kick against it so why are u bothered ? Better thank ur God that this is happening cause now both families can save asuebi money and u guys can rent a very big hall for the reception !!! I think its a wonderful idea to wed on the same day and to the same family but my number 1 advice for u is 2 put it to God in prayer
ReplyDeleteFirst comment; the Sleek girls. Ebele and Ify Ugochukwu nee Iyizoba.
ReplyDeleteUre a very big fool.
DeleteReally? U r such a retard for this!...duno who the name bearers are...bt u r indeed a very big fool
DeleteHow is Fanstuff a fool na? I'm confused....
DeleteHe helped to remind d 1st person that commented of d 2 sistas dat got married to 2 brodas, hence the same maiden n surnames.
Na wa o...the way u pple use d work 'fool' ehn, one will think its doesn't come with a curse anymur
Hmmm.. Go ahead and get married to this guys ( the two of you ) I don't know who to tell to step aside.
ReplyDeleteIs it an abomination where you come from? i have even heard of twins getting married to twin sisters. It happens even in this Nigeria, there are a set of twin brother musician who did it. calm down and ask your parents. everyone knows you guys have been dating for ages. good luck
ReplyDeleteOjiemi!#ishan# please let me pick my jaw from the floor cos it fell wen my mouth opened like the cat in the pic!o girl,this na predicament 101!Firstly,is it forbidden to marry an inlaw in your place of origin?if it is then u need to kiss your age long fiance goodbye.your sisters wedding is already in 2months and yours is still a hopeful deal!I know twin brothers who re in showbiz.They both planned to marry twins to make name or whatever!About 12yrs ago they succeeded in marrying a set of identical twins like them!The brothers were told by some uncles that they must not marry from same house that its forbidden!They went ahead and did anyway!it was all over d media!They achieved the aim of more popularity!Today the twin couples re still hoping for kids!Call it superstition or coincidence but it would ve been a lot safer to obey the laws of the land;after all even christians do traditional weddings!so if u think its crap,why do it?However,if ur people say its ok,go ahead!I see nothing wrong with it!Your kids will be cousins all the same!so...Choose what will augur well for your future!God lead you dear!Signed:wide eyed!
ReplyDeleteWide eyed so you're my Esan sister? Hey gurl! Na real ojiemi. Ojiemi a mie! Are you talking about the Mamuzee twins? Hmm. Na wa.
DeleteAm proudly Esan!ishan babe!Nothing do us!Oyeeee!as per the twins?Read my mind!I no mention names o!Stella,help me with bitter leaf spiced with bitter kola and some alamo bitters!Save me!Signed:wide eyed!
DeleteHonestly I dont think there is a big deal here at all, please plan your wedding as you wish..
ReplyDeleteSo what is your point Miss anon cos i don't see anything wrong in what your sis is doing. Please live your life and allow your sis biko. Don't involve stupid drama abeg.... Mchewww!
ReplyDeleteIf u claim to be a strict christian then culture should nt scare u.Put ur fears in God and he will see u thru it all
ReplyDeleteTaboo in what village please?
ReplyDeleteNne i neva heard of dat as a taboo...pls make una 2 marry dose guys oo...husband no easy to find dis daiz
ReplyDeleteIt is a blatant lie that 2 people cannot marry from the same family. there is an igbo saying that "Uzo di nma, a gaa ya ugboro abuo". Get your facts right. I am from Abia State and My sister married my Uncle's wife's younger brother. The uncle is same father with my mum. Go investigate.
ReplyDeleteThank You.
DeleteTaaaaa!!! Somadina, go and sit down biko. What are u thanking her for? U have seen backup and ur fingers are quick to type ryt? ##
DeleteWhat is your sister and your parents saying about it if it is a tabbo? Are they expecting you to abandon your relationship for your sister's?
ReplyDeleteHun, don't u think u r being too harsh and over zealous here? The narrator said biological siblings of same parents and not cousins/uncles. Pls read again. I dunno Naomi, but I tell u guys quick to condemn under the guise of religion that she's in a big fix! I'm happily married and my hubbys cousin is also married to my cousin, but its forbidden to marry sister or brodas. Pls u guys shld be considerate in give advice and sympathy rather than condemning. Its obvious the final decision to choose doesn't lie wt d narrator, but her parents whom maybe core traditionalist. Pls read carefully and advice wisely
ReplyDeleteThis baBe just want drama or madam stella forge this story. Shikena!!!
ReplyDeleteI swear!
DeleteThis is a lie of the century!!! She is even contradicting herself. If you are a christian. Why do you care about the culture? Abi na bad belle de worry you say you sister wan marry b4 you and probably a better man than yours. You can forget about the guy at least you are not yet 39. My advice to you is... If it is a taboo, let your 39yrs old sis marry this Americana abi naaa. Abi you want make I say make your sister forget this last chance because of you? No way!!! I think you are just jelous. Pack well for me jare enemy of progress. There is no where in Ibo land where such culture exists. Mention the place or the town. Onye ufu Obi!!!
ReplyDeleteYes I'm ibo too and I've never heard about such, I know a lot of sisters married to the same families. Go to the court and get married, its selfish of u to want to get pregnant just to spite your sister.
Deletewhich yeye taboo is that?! Look my dear, go to the court and verify then do court wedding secretly. No-one will know. There is no taboo in that. Please do not leave your fiance for any reason. This could be an attack on your destiny. Be careful
ReplyDeleteStella wake up ooo. Make I go call baba aladura for you.
ReplyDeleteNaomi dear, go ahead and marry boo.
I do not see anything wrong in two siblings marrying siblings from same family.
ReplyDeletethat una tradition be as e get ohhhh!
I attended a wedding some weeks ago and the
couple(s) are delta ibo.
it was two sisters marrying two brothers. same family. the wedding was spectacular and the inlaws were even happy saying "thank God the love is big in the family"
so what do you want to do now? compromise? hmmn! Good men are sure hard to find these days my dear!
Blog lord, even you too, u are here. Have you left linda ikeji's blog? Traveller! Please don't come and cause commotion here. Must you be present at every wedding? Wl##
Delete^^^Bloglord has been here for long. I guess you are the newbie here.
Deletewhat is wrong with ya all blog visitors?have you peope commenting thought for a moment that one or both parents cannot have both their kids marrying from one home?
ReplyDeleteNaomi is desperate because its either her or her sister that can marry into that family....meaning that she is silently being asked to step aside for her sister to get married becos time is not on the sisters side...she is being asked to forfeit her relationship becos her boos brother has come home and must marry.
she is thinking of getting pregnant to tackle the situation and is asking for advice.she asked for advice and not for a lecture on history....please dont forget that this is an emotional thing to be asked to let your sister marry whilst you step aside.
Naomi is not the one forbidding both marriages,i think her parents or his are.
Naomi please study the situation carefully and if possible go and marry your boo secretly,with time your parents or whoever thinks it is a taboo will forget the drama but please do not get pregnant to trap the situation,it might backfire.
Think well,act wisely and God bless you.
please people read her mail again before ya all cry wolf in the city.
Biko give me your email addy gist dey.
DeleteStella, u are officially my mentor....Love uuuuuuu for this response. With love...##
DeleteAbeg Stella, ro ra.
DeleteOmo wale o.
Wetin dey vex you wey you dey throw insult up and down? You wan force your opinion on us?
If she had made her mail clear in the first instance, there won't be ambiguity and confusion na. A taboo in her village is not a taboo all over. Sleek sisters are married to brothersd. No be now you add addendum? Abeg free us o
God bless u Stella! I'm a 68yr old granny and yes I enjoy ur blog although I'm commenting for the first time. I'm glad u had to comment and reply to most of d childish replies I've read so far. To those who didn't bother to ask if such union was forbidden, if the parents are the ones with the final say as per the union. And those claiming more religious than Jesus, forgetting that situations like this can tear a hitherto happy family apart. And the godly advice is for her to defy her family? I'm also at loss for advice to give, but ill rather pray and offer my sympathy, than write trash.
ReplyDeleteNaomi its a big lie.I am from Anambra state.My 2 elder brothers are marrying two sisters and they are from anambra too.Am talking of same mother same father brothers,marrying same mother same father sisters.Funny enough my eldest brother married the youngest of the sis.So if u want to marry ur guy go ahead and do so.U guys can even fix the marriage the same day.Its a good thing my dear,don't turn it to something else.The unity that exists btw the two sisters and their husband is so amazing.Just don't listen to anybody that is telling u otherwise okay.
ReplyDeleteGod bless u Stella! I'm a 68yr old granny and yes I enjoy ur blog although I'm commenting for the first time. I'm glad u had to comment and reply to most of d childish replies I've read so far. To those who didn't bother to ask if such union was forbidden, if the parents are the ones with the final say as per the union. And those claiming more religious than Jesus, forgetting that situations like this can tear a hitherto happy family apart. And the godly advice is for her to defy her family? I'm also at loss for advice to give, but ill rather pray and offer my sympathy, than write trash.
ReplyDeleteStoree. Na for slate u dey write ya own comment? Laya laya
DeleteIn as much as I want to believe the story, it has a lot of doubts. While your sister was talking to this her so-called lover, she didn't know his last name or that he could be related to your fiancé. I feel your sister is the selfish one. How many years did they date for that she didn't know he could be related to your soon-to-be in-laws.
ReplyDeletePls pray about it, and I know God will lead you right. Don't leave your first love for traditions.
I mean, what exactly is the point of this story. I even felt its sometin terrible. What is the problem in ur sister marryin ur fiance brother.its not against the law or religion. I don't get the gist or are u just tryin to get our attention. And why did stella even post this?.
ReplyDeleteWhat is wrong with ya all blog visitors? Lol ....Nothing is strong with us *Durrrgh* Madam stell haff vex.
ReplyDeleteMiss Naomi, Oya allow ur Elder sis, she's 39 already...consider her,Since na advise you want.
But u dint tell us the name of ur Village, The tradition/culture doesn't apply to all south eastern states. I already asked, I can marry my brothers wife sister! **Dancing**
Mtshewwwwwwwwwww
DeleteWl##
Stella biko give me ur email addy,i get gist for u
ReplyDeleteShebi this sisters that own sleek got married to brothers of same parents and yes the are igbos
ReplyDeleteits not proper for two sisters to marry in d same house,if dey re cousins it a different thing ....but blood brothers nd sisters it a No!if it one brother marring d two it not a problem...such dnt happen frm whr I come frm..
ReplyDeleteAnon 12:08am u are such a big FOOL so two sisters can't marry two brothers?but a guy can marry two sisters?u are jst an idiot FOOL I know ur type.
DeletePls madam Stella bring us d exculusive story of funke akindele marriage scandal biko.
ReplyDeleteIt's a taboo in her villa for sisters in a single family to marry brothers in a single family. It's a taboo in some villas in 9ja for an uncircumcised girl to get married. Yeah..uncircumcised girl folks, that stuff happens for real. I can't really advice getting pregnant as a solution because The BIG GUY upstairs go vex, but I would advice getting married legally, and secretly, before September. THAT'S THE BEST THING. Deal with family issue later.
ReplyDeletePaz leave that moron. It takes a fool to know one. Anuofia that made no contribution to the discussion.
ReplyDeleteGet preggers joor that will end the discussion.
ReplyDeletePlease don't listen to Stella and the people telling you to go ahead. If its a taboo, don't do it. The sources of all these village taboos and supersitions are linked to powerful forces.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is the custodian of the taboos that go out of their way to punish offenders. If you can both elope and travel far, you may go ahead.
My advise is that you begin to look for another guy.
me nor understand this kind story oo...two sisters nor fit marry for same family again? *confused face* or i didn't read the story well...let me go back and read again...
ReplyDeletehehehe.
ReplyDeletecheck my profile you will see that I follow just two blogs committedly. (S to D K's and Lindastic Ikejegbish, I no hide am naaa)
ehen the wedding? so make I no go function wey dem invite me again?
I bow to you ohh!
abeg leave me to go chop rice and 'shicken' jare. lol
Sdk na vex u dey form? Me vex pass u.nne since u said is taboo 4ur village.oya allow ur sista to marry since age is not on her side.menopause is fast approachn.if u like ur sista
ReplyDeleteI don't know what part of South Eastern Nigeria you are from, I stand to be corrected that it is not a taboo in Ibo land because even 2 sisters can marry one man not to talk of siblings. Ask well, unless there is another reason why your family is against it, it is neither morally or religiously or lawfully wrong.
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time I'm hearing something like this.. I'm from anambra state(nnewi north) and there's no such tradition there neither in abia state (obingwa) my hubby's hometown... So sista Naomi were exactly are you from bcos this your case e be as e get
ReplyDeletedear lucinda did u see the addendum? be smart for once and dont be daft> she said it is a taboo frm where comes from! offer advice or else keep shut for life
ReplyDeleteI believe it's more like a curse and not tradition in her village. God will nullify every curse.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteWe know every taboo has a repercussion attached to it.
What her folks should be after is how to break that repercussion forever instead of insisting she ends the relationship.
My own is what if that guy is her GOD destined husband? So because of tradition, she will let go of the one GOD has chosen for her?
Some aspects of our traditions are neck deep in idolatry and not at par with the things of GOD.
Strongly seek the face of GOD and forget about getting pregnant; you would only complicate things. You need to tackle this SPIRITUALLY!
Pls I'm from imo state n I hv never heard of siblings marrying into d same nuclear family a taboo.infact it is even a good thing that two sisters r marrying into d same family meaning That they r of good behaviour. For all of u dissing somadina, go get ur facts right. I don't know wat part of ibo u r from.
ReplyDeleteam from anambra east LGA its a taboo oooh!!! alu!!! it happened in my family,my cousins(female) married two brothers.The eldest married first,when the second one(female) wanted to get married everyone kicked against it,she still went ahead having been supported by people who will gain from the union.Today nko?she is full of regrets because no one associates with her and the husband.Naomi please one of you will need to sacrifice for the other.
ReplyDeleteNaomi dear...I understand your plight & I am also from the East (Never heard of such custom anyway). Traditionally, its a taboo abi? but is it a sin? Hell NO! Do you know that twins were taboos before? do you know that it was a taboo for pregnant women to walk outside in the sun before?, a taboo not to scrape a widow's head with a blunt razor? a 1001 'useless' taboos. Yes I call them useless coz that is exactly what they are. Unless you are not a christian & I mean truly a child of God then that is when all these will have a hold in your life.
ReplyDelete39yrs & counting & your sister has a man to walk her down the aisle & 8yrs & counting; you & your man has saved enough to start a family of your own & then BOOM! this taboo that is trying to steal away the joy God has in store for you & your sister. Babe if am in your shoes, My sister & I will go ahead & exchange vows. I have a friend who when he was about to marry his gf was told by her family to get her pregnant if not she will not take in (he's Igbo, she is yoruba) that her sister & brother have the issue cos they flaunted the 'rule' rme. He told me & I asked him whose account do you believe in? God's account to make you & yours fruitful or an age old traditional bond? a girl that you swore not to sleep with cos you said you are a christian? 10months after their marriage, she gave birth to a baby girl.
What am I saying? As long as its not a sin & you make God a partner in your marriage, He will prove himself faithful on your behalf.
Naomi, God will help you to make a decision. Assuming your fiance has fixed a date, ur sister might be asked to step down, now dt it's the eldest son, they'll definitely choose his over ur fiance and it's a taboo even in yoruba land where I come from.
ReplyDeleteSo I'll advice you call ur sister, and have a tete a tete with her and even involve ur pastor. And if she insists, dere is nothing prayer cannot do. If he is meant for u, God will surely intervene. I really feel ur pains. It is well with u.
Funmi.
Taboos are made made and like someone has already listed, there are many things that were taboo that are now norm. How many things are taboo in Leviticus that people who are closer to heaven than Peter don't follow? How many christian women sleep in the house with their periods when they are supposed to be excluded from the home for seven days? Abeg make I heaar word! If you ask all those supporting this taboo the exact reason why it exists, they can't tell you because they don't know why. There is NO medical reason why two sisters can't marry two brothers. I can understand if genetically it would work against you but outside of that this makes no logical sense.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to say Naomi but your sister is one SELFISH person! Where was this guy all this time while you've been with your guy for 8yrs? If you give up the love of your life for her or anyone else then you only have yourself to blame. Sit there and listen to people and their foolishness.
Marry your man and create your community with those who love and support you. All those who are not onboard with the program can kick rocks! Eight years of your life to go to waste just like that because your sister's old ass couldn't find a man and now she wants to show up with this old dude and put your life on old?
You would be crazy to allow her to do that to you. She's the oldest sister, she should sacrifice herself for her younger sister if it comes down to it but guess what age and the fact that he's a doctor is going to determine her response.
Marry your man o if na him be the one God done give you. To find good man no be beans o!
pls which part of south east do consider that as a taboo? i am from soth east and i haven't heard of this taboo before?
ReplyDeletePlease can she tell us what part of Igbo land she comes from? and pls dont say Imo State, cos NO SUCH THING exists in my place. My mum's older sister and their brother's daughter (my cousin) are married to two brothers in the same family bearing same surname!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely not Imo state.
ReplyDeletenaomi.put ur sympathy for ur sister aside.u av to be selfish in this case.marry ur boo 1st b4 september nd let the family members know.ur relationship is based on love while dat of ur sister nd her oyinbo fiancee is based on desperation nd compromise.dey r both settling cos dey r old nd not truely inlove.which is a recipee for disaster in a marriage.how will u feel if u allow ur sis marry dis man nd u let go of ur own fiancee nd few yrs down the line.their marriage breakes up? both of u will loose out if u dont take the 1st step.PS ur not responsible for ur sis misfortune.its alright to be selfish once in a while.and i hope ur 1oo percent sure ur fiancee wants to marry u b4 making me type dis long tin.abi wetin una dey do for 8yrs.ow much be court weddin? lol sassy
ReplyDeleteI will advise you allow your sister marry. Age is not on her side and it will save her the embarrassment of being single in her 40's. If your family refuses to let you marry your boo stay with him and have a family with him, make it clear to your parents that this is what you will do. Marriage is not the end of the world. Yes, it is important but atleast everyone pretty much knows you are married to your boo considering how long you two have been together. It will primarily be up to your parents to decide whether they will allow traditions cause them to have 2 married daughters or one daughter who will never get married for the sake of the other. I wish you luck in your decision, Please do not get pregnant as a solution, at least not before you let your parents know that that will be the consequence of their decision. And also make sure bringing a child into world is something that you and your boo can conveniently manage before you decide to get pregnant.
ReplyDelete