'' Hello Stella .how are you doing? i.am one of your regular blogvisitor ..and I believe my problem can be solved through the advice I get from your blog readers(please don't mind my typo am at work ) .
Am a 35 year old single lady with a child and I live abroad .there is this guy I met sometime last year and a week into our relationship he had told me what he wanted in the relationship .he jokes about how he wants me to have his baby and start a home with him.i go to his house and I never see any trace of a woman in his house .
A month into the relationship I travelled to Nigeria for about five months .though the plan was to go for 2 weeks but my plan changed and I ended up staying for 5 months.
Me and this guy do talk but it got to a point we stopped talking not that we broke up but we just drifted apart because I left for a long time. Fast forward ...I came back from my trip and I called him he was mad at me but still he forgave me and we continued from where we stopped .
The first one month was so nice .we saw almost everyday.we made love without condom and he said he's not scared of me getting pregnant .
he is so nice to me and my daughter .
i go to his apartment and cook for him and still see no traces of a woman.
Stella ,as a matter of fact I purposely leave some of my things in his apartment and still come back and see them there .he always reminds me how he loves me and respects me and how he can never hurt me or leave me for anything.
A month ago,he told me he was expecting some visitors from Nigeria .the visitors came but since they came i have not been going to his apartment anymore.
So many times I cook for him and he comes to pick the food up .before then he told me he wanted me to get an apartment because I live with my family,he said he would pay for it .
Since his so called visitors came we have been having issues ..I accused him that he probably has a woman in his house and he denied that ..he still tells me he loves me and he can never hurt me .
i got the apartment two days ago and he gave me the money to pay for it.(500k Nigerian currency) I see less of him but he claims its work..biz and all that but he always tries to make up ..he showers me with gift and all this make me so confused.
He told me if the apartment is ready I would definitely be seeing him a lot .my fear is that I feel there is a woman in his house and he doesnt want to tell me .i feel something happened while I was away in Nigeria,because he had once joked about that what about if along the time I travelled he got a girl pregnant against his will but left with no choice than to accept it .
I know some readers would advice me to talk to him..i have done this several times.i spoke to him ..I even threatened him that if I later realise he's been lying to me I would leave him.
I have fallen in love with him... please help me I need advise ..he really tries his best to make me happy ..I dont know what to do. Am a single mother I and dont want to make another mistake .wot can I do ? I dont want to invade his privacy by going to his house without telling him .waiting for your response.
thanks in advance .
ADDENDUM----.i forgot to add the guy is 39 years and with no kids .he's never been to Nigeria since he left and .he's always so excited when he's talking about having kids.
Madam, use condom. AIDs is real. E na ko love.
ReplyDeleteHaa! You must invade that privacy o. Okay, don't you have any "Tafia" friend that can help u spy? Hmmmmm, I'm scared for you o, looks like you are in for a looooooong thing!
ReplyDeleteMy thot exactly,pls a friend should help u investigate ,maybe ur friend should go and knock on his door while he's @ work
DeleteOpen ur pretty eyes my dear...some men can be very selfish oh....they can use their two hands to hold 20 women down at the same time. If I were u, just to satisfy my conscience I will get him investigated...no bi obodo oyinbo u dey...don't even try slacking. Pay a private investigator jor.
ReplyDeleteWhen u find out the truth pls sing this song as u run: I have decided to have peace in my life , I have decided to have some peace, I have decided to have some peace no turning back no turning back! Thank me later!
LMAO!!!! Dude/dudette, you just killed me.. Lol. Seriously have a friend spy for you...
DeleteWhy are you confused.....women should always trust their intuition, it's never wrong, you know there's something wrong,you just need other people to tell you....Grow up woman, you have a child that looks up to you...If he can't introduce you to his so called "visitors" then he's not serious about you...he's just playing you dear, so I advice you show up at his place unannounced and get it over and done with already, the sooner the better for you, so you start the healing process...Be strong and expect the worse.
ReplyDeleteMy dear....its better u go 2 his house and see dos visitors urself....if he wasn't hiding something he won't stop u 4rm cmin 2 his house in d 1st place....abeg shine ur eyes nd don't dull
ReplyDeleteMy dear you know what to do but I think you re scared of loosing him cos of the money/dick pls go and visit him
DeleteMy dear there is No way you will find out the truth if you don't go to his house because at this point that is where the truth lies...you used to go there before why can't you go now if he's not hiding anything from you, it's not an invasion of privacy it's knowing the truth and your status in that relationship. I wish you luck.
ReplyDeleteMy dear there is No way you will find out the truth if you don't go to his house because at this point that is where the truth lies...you used to go there before why can't you go now if he's not hiding anything from you, it's not an invasion of privacy it's knowing the truth and your status in that relationship. I wish you luck.
ReplyDeleteHow can u make love wit a man who has not married u witout a condom madam? U clain u don't want to mk another mistake bt am sowi u are towing dat lane.. Ah ah! Now u are sounding confused abt his behaviour already wat if ur expecting baby no2?.
ReplyDeleteThis guy seemed caring but u ve to be careful wit him,,. Talk to him abt ur fears and tel him to look 4 a way to easy dat fear from ur heart. I pray he is not even married in naija already sef!!
Lol...this is trivial! I suggest you sit him down & let him know your fears, it's possible he's seeing someone else and it's also possible he isn't. Talk to him & follow your instincts!!!
ReplyDeleteLucinda
U are a brainless citizen of kenya..or whereva the fuck u are from...cant u read the part she said she has spoken to him but all to no avail??? Ewu kenya..scare crow.
DeleteAnd what's funny didirin? She said she has talked n talked to him. Madam biko go to his house unannounced n see for urself, make sure u call him with ur landline just before so he believes u r @ home n doesn't send her to a supermarket or wherever, u will know what his routine is like so u can have ur friend pose like they wanna deliver a mail when he's not home n see who opens, name of parcel recipient or just find a way to know those visitors sha
DeleteBut I see nothing wrong in going to his house to find out things urslf. U can tell him b4 going and know his reaction first. Men and their 9 lives!
ReplyDeletei really feel for u on dis one,been someone who had seen such b4 u wont want to go thru such again. I feel u shld sit him down and hav a heartfelt conversation wit him. i experienced a similar tin and not only did dis guy have a wife who came back,he was a serial father!!!!!!it hurt alot,but i hav gone past dat now. if truly he has someone, u jus hav to move on,wit tim u will heal,and find someone beta. but 1st deal wit d issue now,find out d truth and knw wat his motives are for keeping u away frm his place
ReplyDeleteIt is beta u go 2 his place without is notice, men re snake. Dere is anoda woman inside d house.
ReplyDeleteAbeg, which specie of snake is ur dad?.
Delete*Men are SNAKES* not * Men are SNAKE*
DeleteTanx 4 d correctn.
DeleteLol @which specie is ur dad buhahaha
DeleteJust a few questions: How old is he? any kids?
ReplyDeleteI feel you pain but this sentence got me suspicious
( A month ago,he told me he was expecting some visitors from Nigeria .the visitors came but since they came i have not been going to his apartment anymore.)
Why? If he loves you so much why couldnt you see his visitors? You cook and he is willing to come and collect it? who pays for the meals??
Then he got you an apartment, why cant he suggest you move in with him? (Its not ideal but why didnt he even suggest it?) From your story He does not seem very open with you the whole think stinks of married man. Thats the vibe I got from reading your write up...
Don't u know the road to the house again?pls go there whether in his absence or presence and find out things for yourself just don't cause a scene if things don't look good over there. Don't let him know u are coming or going.goodluck.
ReplyDeleteAt 35, you need to do this yourself, nobody will do this for you. Go to his house unannounced when you know he's home, I know U.S. apartments have controlled entry, but let someone else let you into the building and find out. You don't need to cause any trouble/drama but ask him some questions right there in his apartment and in front of his visitor(s) and go from there. Shikena, no need for wahala. Don't dull yourself, time is going at 35 years old.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, women, women! first of all sit down alone in your room for about 30 mins and think, what dose your instinct tell you? what ever your instinct tell's you is very correct! No 2, go straight to his house yourself after all you have been going there before, don't waste time and money on investigators, you have the answer why ask question? Madam wake up! He has another woman period! If you don't catch him red handed he will not confess, why? he want's to eat his cake and have it. ( most men are like that. )
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry but I disagree with the majority on this one. If you believe that he is lying to you that is the exact reason you should NOT go to his house unannounced. You have no right to. You are not his wife. It takes more than cooking and sleeping with him. From your comments like - he's 39, has no kids, loves my kid, is excited about having. Kids- its obvious you want to get married. Its obvious to him too. You gave too much girl. Access to your child should be a priviledge to him not a luxury to you. I know we females are emotional beings but in relationships its best to think like a man. All the signs are there, and the rent money was just guilt + love nest. My dear, listen to your instincts and then use your head. Leave this man alone. He is not ready for you and your child. Ignore all those scenarios playing in your head. Stop trying to rationalize his behaviour. Stop crying. Stop calling him. Stop cooking for him he's not your husband. Stop sleeping with him he's not your husband. Don't look back in anger or regret and have a great life. You will move onto better.
DeleteI'm sorry but I disagree with the majority on this one. If you believe that he is lying to you that is the exact reason you should NOT go to his house unannounced. You have no right to. You are not his wife. It takes more than cooking and sleeping with him. From your comments like - he's 39, has no kids, loves my kid, is excited about having. Kids- its obvious you want to get married. Its obvious to him too. You gave too much girl. Access to your child should be a priviledge to him not a luxury to you. I know we females are emotional beings but in relationships its best to think like a man. All the signs are there, and the rent money was just guilt + love nest. My dear, listen to your instincts and then use your head. Leave this man alone. He is not ready for you and your child. Ignore all those scenarios playing in your head. Stop trying to rationalize his behaviour. Stop crying. Stop calling him. Stop cooking for him he's not your husband. Stop sleeping with him he's not your husband. Don't look back in anger or regret and have a great life. You will move onto better.
DeleteCan't he introduce you to his visitors, if you mean that much to him?
ReplyDeletePls go to his house unannounced! That is where d answers to ur question lies.I once met a guy that warned me never to invade his privacy and I knew in my heart that na dat privacy gan gan I go invade pass! I went to his house anytime I liked and funny enof, never caught him.So my dear, if he is lying or saying d truth, ur paying him a surprise visit will do u a lota good.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePay someone to spy him 4u...d man might b hiding somthing 4rm u.or u go to his house wtihout telln him ur coming...don't b a victim
ReplyDeletethere is nothing like sitting him down to talk ur fears etc coz from what you wrote you've already done dat. Go to his house or have someone spy for you and make sure u investigate him very well even to Nigeria. Men and their 9 lives.
ReplyDeleteOk... If he can't introduce you to his visitor(s), then two things are involve; is either he is not proud of you or The visitor is his WIFE from Nigeria. Surprise visit will settle this don't ask him anything again.
ReplyDeleteOk... If he can't introduce you to his visitor(s), then two things are involve; is either he is not proud of you or The visitor is his WIFE from Nigeria. Surprise visit will settle this don't ask him anything again.
ReplyDeleteThe answer is simple baby, he has a wife in that house. He got you the apartment so you guys will still have sex since he can't let you go to his house anymore. My advice to you is...Go to his house when you know he's away and confirm things for yourself. A woman's instincts are always right.
ReplyDeleteSoma, God bless you o.
ReplyDeleteWhy did you stop going to his house when his visitors came?
Did he ask you to stop? If he did, that's a serious red flag. I would have thought he would proudly introduce you to whomever they are.
If you stopped on your own, why?
You both are too old for this shit. Talk like adults and set a master plan for the relationship.
Babe, sister to sister...damn his privacy. He's had sex wt u au naturelle the privacy has bn fucked off.go to his house unannouced. But b4 that get more money from him. He has to pay for d pain he has caused n about to cause u. No dull o! Na naija babe u be. N yes I'm ibo.insist on meeting d visitor but if he refuses...well at least make sure u r smiling all d way to d bank afterall u need money to buy comfort food n all
ReplyDeleteSweetheart, u spoke my mind....the guy naija wife and kids come yankee, them hire u house ask u make u siddon 4 there...r u a learner?
DeleteGet the money, go to his house and confirm. Make sure u are not expecting baby number 2 sha
Money ke? For what na? Is she a prossie. Pls she let him have sex with no condom not the other way round. The dude's family married some chic for him while you were gone for 5 months. To you y'all didn't break up but what about him? Did you guys discuss it when you returned or just went straight to skin to skin? Some men don't do confrontation well. They'll do anything including paying for a hideaway just to avoid facing reality. Whether or not you go to his crib, the plain truth is you guys broke up when you travelled and lost touch. Anything after that is fling. Sorry dear.
Deletemrs. Woman what are you afraid of, biko nu? At your age you should be thinking with your head and not your heart. The education you are getting as a single mum never do you? He knows you will soon find out so he has given you severance pay, abi how you see am? His has visitors; you can't come and see them; he comes to pick food; if he gets a girl pregnant and has no choice but to accept it...; you think all that one na Nollywood scripting? Dudette, that is the real deal the guy is gi ing you as appetizer. When you start cry wolf he'd remind about the conversations, abi you were thinking of the kissing and smooching when he was telling you. Sugar, remove that love gele you are wearing and put on your thinking cap. You need to think with your sneakers on? Go the hell to his house, knock on the door, enter when he opens it and sit down. I did that once. I was in my twenties then. I began having doubts about my guy especially after he quarrelled with me on a friday and wasn't calling. My spirit told me he was cheating. So, i obeyed and after service on a sunday morning, i paid him a visit. Bingo! Another babe was there! She had to leave sha and i broke it off. See, you must learn to trust your instincts and be brave in your approach. You are not a lil' girl. What in the hell are you scared of? It is better to cry now that to cry later. Ok, girl?
ReplyDeleteMy dear go to dat house o. U must! There is another woman there sha. She has moved in wt her man, so hez keeping u in another location, so he can eat his cake n have it. Trust me I know cos I've been in dat situation b4. U haven't been seeing traces of any woman b4 cos he has been making plans for her to come over. Now d plans clicked.he may truly luv u n want to keep both of u, but is that dd kind of life u want for urself?he doesn't mind having kids wt u aswell cos he feels upto d task, but is dat wat u want? Don't u need some stability? Do u know his family? Do u speak to them on fone?his Mother, his sisters? Brothers and uncles are tricky aswell cos they too can cover up his ass for him and call 20 other women our wife aswell. I'm guessing u paid for d apartment monthly, so that 500k rent is for howmany months? And if u took d apartment from an agent wt contract are u financially strong to complete d remaining payment on d contract if kasala burst? If all things don't go well, make sure he pays o lol. Cos nothing do u for ur family house b4, he shouldn't put u in unnecessary gbese. Annoying thing go be say e go be one kin small girl, girl wen no reach u. Cos men sabi see person finish like dat. Mtchewwww. Pls give us a follow up to this gist. Make we know ow u take waka.
ReplyDeletePlease invade that privacy. Pay him a visit. If he loves u as u calim, he should show u 2 his visitors. Is ur relationship now secret @ 35. Hell no dear. I don't believe in invading a man's privacy but when it becomes necessary and important, please men are pathetic liars, dnt let US live fool u.go there and d truth lies in that house.
ReplyDeleteone advice.introduce urself to the visitors.get familiar! when u do this,the truth will show itself.trust me,im talking from experience.i failed to introduce myself to the visitors not knowing they were his wife's family members.i found out when it was too late
ReplyDeleteSo long a letter!You say he's never being to nigeria?hmmmm.loose end for me!you travelled and lost touch for 5months?Big disconnect from a man u claim to love!So for 5months you were incommunicado and u didn't ve a naija love interest?if you didn't,permit me to assume he did or said stuff that made u not attempt to send a text message or flash him to get his attention!How do you expect him to clive to u after that long break?Now that u re semi back together and he won't let u visit his home,u don't need a 5 year old to tell u his very married!You collected ur rent cos u kn he's married.Accepting the money means you ve taken on the role as mistress.why the tears?Wipe them dear and be a dignified cortesan!But take heed,cos madam @ the top can get wind of ur tryst and come head butt u!Watch ur back!Signed:wide eyed!
ReplyDeleteI wish they was a like button. I like u nne. truth! I didn't even think of it from that angle.
DeleteWhy are people going on and on about condom? She 35 people!! Duhhhhh!
ReplyDeleteNne back to you. You say u no know wetin to do. Na wah for you o! Are you learning? Moveeeeeeeeeeee on. Wetin u wan ask? Who u wan pay surprise visit? Men like to eat their cake and have it. If u sit him down to talk about this, he's already seen it coming and he's waiting for you. If you pay him a surprise visit and his visitor happens to be his wife, both of them can gang up and flog the hell out of you then she will deal with the husband later. Darling, if he loves you, He will do the right thing. Men know the right thing to do all the time it just never favours them that's why they act so selfish.
Tru tlk! Words of wisdom:" Men knw d rite tin 2 do all d tym" bt it cn neva favour dem cos of dia selfish nature..dey don't evn tink abt d emotional trauma d lady mite be going thru as a result of d harm dey av caused.. I am tlkin 4rm experience, pls sis, dnt go 2 his house: jst let him be! His conscience will definately be pricking him & guilt won't let him rest. He's nt ur man, dnt fall a victim. Adunola
DeleteIts one of 2 things eitheir there is a woman in dat house(someone u know)or he is also gay!I advice u shd not go there cus he can harm u, just get a trusted friend to do dat for u! Or call his home when u know he won't be in but not with known number! But be assure something is most definatly fishing
ReplyDeleteD guy is obviously lying to you. Why would someone I claim to love can't come to my house? Am a guy and telln u wot we r capable of. He obviously has another woman in the house and the only way to find out is if u go there. Your instinct has told you the truth but u r afraid of losing d guy. Save yourself more heartache by being sure and moving on. Go to his house PERIOD.
ReplyDeleteMy dear ,things u shld not do to yourself.if u kno u want to settle down wit dis guy, u will av to burst in.
ReplyDelete2)If he is cannot introduce u to his family or his so called naija visitors at dis stage ,then he's not for real
3) If at dis stage he is askin u to go rent a house wen u guys shld be plannin on gettin married or stayin together, he's not for real o!
4) If u donot kno his friends , he's not for real
5) If u donot fear confident to burst in on him then u are not for real
It happened to me, my relationship of 13yrs went dis way. I was scared to burst in, until he got some else pregnant and then I realised she's been stayin wit him all d while. I was in lag ,he was in abuja. U better shine ur eye and kno if u are wasting ur time or not!!!
This story is incomplete. have u considered that this guy may be into some impure dealings? What does he do for a living? am a guy, and I know that if truly loves you, he would have asked you to move in. Maybe the Visitors from Nigeria are his yahoozee friends. Just saying
ReplyDelete@Julit-ur comment is the best so far.
ReplyDeleteThe earlier we women realise hw selfish men are, the better for us. Omo! With a man, I look out for my interest oh! Cos check it, any man u hv anything to do with is only looking out for his interest. Not urs. Check it, once there's any discomfort they back out.
That said, why is it so hard for women to move on? ESP when the truth is starring at you. Too bad! U are 35. If I were 35, with a child, no one wld f**king tell me what to do. I will go head long with my life in my hands. Anuofia MEN!
Sweetheart! I know exactly how you feel and I think i'm partially in this kind of situation, but I don't know yet till I travel back to meet mine.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, love is a beautiful thing and with the way you have explained, I guess he shows you a kind of love you have never really felt before "not talking about sex now". That love touches your heart down till your soul #there are men like that#
Secondly, true love doesn't have boundaries or limitations. You know this, but i am very sure it's because of the way you love him, you decided not to invade his privacy, even though you know it's the right thing.
Thirdly, considering your child, age and mostly financial needs, you are scared because you don't want to lose him.
I am still single with no child yet, but I truly i'm in love with mine and he cares so much that whenever we talk or chat he always claims he is waiting for me even though I have doubts about him based on proof.
Now, you have to think wisely before you act. Treat this situation with a 50/50 chance. It's very difficult to hold on having doubts about the one you truly love, but put everything into consideration and conclude if you have a lot to lose.
But everything starts with you still finding out one way or the other if he has another woman he is keeping, if you are sure going to invade his privacy won't work, get someone do that for you and make sure you can trust that person #it might take a whole week or 2 but make sure the person doesn't come back telling you the wrong things #if he/she has to keep a recorder in his/her pocket.
Then, if you find out he has someone else, pls, don't react immediately, just have it at the back of your mind till you get what you want. If you think you are financially unstable, pls, make money out of him. If you think he is in another serious relationship, pls, search for someone else during this period so you don't have to lose. As time goes on, I know you won't be able to bear it anymore, once you are satisfied getting everything you want out of him, get him dismissed one time.
THE TRUTH IS THAT, a man that could create unnecessary boundaries that wasn't there in the first place does not truly love you PERIOD. Except he is willing to send the other woman out of his out then you could still manage with your eyes wide open. It will hurt you, but it's the best for you.
I'll like to keep up with whatever goes on there after, you can have my email if you want janevemmanuel@yahoo.com. MAY GOD SAVE OUR HEARTS
Sweetheart! I know exactly how you feel and I think i'm partially in this kind of situation, but I don't know yet till I travel back to meet mine.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, love is a beautiful thing and with the way you have explained, I guess he shows you a kind of love you have never really felt before "not talking about sex now". That love touches your heart down till your soul #there are men like that#
Secondly, true love doesn't have boundaries or limitations. You know this, but i am very sure it's because of the way you love him, you decided not to invade his privacy, even though you know it's the right thing.
Thirdly, considering your child, age and mostly financial needs, you are scared because you don't want to lose him.
I am still single with no child yet, but I truly i'm in love with mine and he cares so much that whenever we talk or chat he always claims he is waiting for me even though I have doubts about him based on proof.
Now, you have to think wisely before you act. Treat this situation with a 50/50 chance. It's very difficult to hold on having doubts about the one you truly love, but put everything into consideration and conclude if you have a lot to lose.
But everything starts with you still finding out one way or the other if he has another woman he is keeping, if you are sure going to invade his privacy won't work, get someone do that for you and make sure you can trust that person #it might take a whole week or 2 but make sure the person doesn't come back telling you the wrong things #if he/she has to keep a recorder in his/her pocket.
Then, if you find out he has someone else, pls, don't react immediately, just have it at the back of your mind till you get what you want. If you think you are financially unstable, pls, make money out of him. If you think he is in another serious relationship, pls, search for someone else during this period so you don't have to lose. As time goes on, I know you won't be able to bear it anymore, once you are satisfied getting everything you want out of him, get him dismissed one time.
THE TRUTH IS THAT, a man that could create unnecessary boundaries that wasn't there in the first place does not truly love you PERIOD. Except he is willing to send the other woman out of his out then you could still manage with your eyes wide open. It will hurt you, but it's the best for you.
I'll like to keep up with whatever goes on there after, you can have my email if you want janevemmanuel@yahoo.com. MAY GOD SAVE OUR HEARTS
HMmmm! My own advice is don't go to his house. But tell him, u won't make love to him again unless its his house. And tell the agent that got you the new house to refund your money cos u will use it to console yourself when you eventually break up with him. Tell him to give you more money for furnishing the house. Collect as many money as possible you can from him. He will be the one to tell you he is married, if he is or he will tell you to move in with him, if he is not married. Play your own games well, don't let him know you are hurt by his actions. Show him what a bitch you can be, I know men prefer bitches to good girls. Don't ever give him the opportunity of sleeping with you in a hotel or at your place. I know its not easy but try and control your feelings especially when you are around him. Another advice to ladies is that, if you sense a guy is about to dump you, borrow a substantial amount of money from him, in that way when you dump him he will feel the hurt more than you. I did it to my cheating boyfriend, guess what he has been apologising to me since then to take him back but I ve move on with his money. Lolest julie
ReplyDeleteYou are in a country where people are allowed to carry gun, by this reason would not advise to paid him an unscheduled visit,more so, the memory of how this South African amputee killed his girl friend is still fresh. Just take things easy and play your game to suit you.The fact is that grab what you can grab and make good use of it. Please avoid violence .
ReplyDeleteMy opinion...what if he's not married, what if he's into something shady. Ok I said what if he's not married cos according to the story u said he comes to pick ur cooked meals if he has a wife she will be doing the cooking,he's into something sisnister that's y he dosnt want u to come becos if u come to his house u will know the truth and if u know the truth u might be killed. Pls don't go his house alone,its either u go with some1 or u send some1 he dosnt know.all I can say is dat he's not pure just be careful dear.trust me a 50yr old lady can make mistake once u are the one in the position ur head will be clouded so don't mind all these peeps saying @ 35 u are still asking 4 answers.best of luck.
ReplyDeleteact on time by going to his house b4 the visitors leave. bcos u dont knw when dey r leaving bcos surely dey r jst visiting. prop from another neigbouring state/city/country.
ReplyDeleteComment 43 gbam.
ReplyDeletePoster you mean you need someone to tell you to go to his house???? you are so stupidly in love, He claims he loves you and gave you money to rent an apartment instead of asking you to move? Babe abeg wise up joor!!!! abi you no be naija babe?
ReplyDeleteEVERYONE WILL TELL YOU WHAT THEY THINK....BUT LET ME SAY THIS...NOBODY KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU EXPLAIN TO US....
ReplyDeleteBUT YOU MUST PRIORITIZE YOUR STUFF....YOUR CHILD IS THE MOST IMPORTANT...AND THEN YOU...YOUR JOB....BEFORE ANY MAN.
YOU SHOULF UNDERSTAND THAT PEOPLE LIE...PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES AND PEOPLE ARE COMPLICATED. BUT IN ALL THAT ....YOU AND YOUR CHILD ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT.
NOW BACK TO THIS MAN...MEN GENERALLY DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN YOU POKE IN THIER BIZNESS...ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE NOT LIVING WITH THEM....SO I WOULD SAY THAT...CONCENTRATE ON YOUR CHILD AND YOUR WORK.....AND JUST GO WITH THE FLOW....YOU HAVE TO BE HAPPY...NO MAN SHOULD MAKE YOU UNHAPPY...D
you need people when their eye tear reach back my dear. thats what you need. someone to give you info about him. where in nigeria is he from? let one or two people do some snooping around for you or contact cheaters joey , if you are in the states. lol just joking but seriously if you are this worried let someone snoop around even if you have to pay a professional. biko which kain abroad you dey, when person dey give you money for house? its well o.
ReplyDeleteSomething about this story doesn't quite add up. For instance, why did you disappear for 5 months? It seems you both have children now? Since you're both approaching 40, such games should be beyond you. Speak to each other directly and communicate openly and you should be able to sort this out
ReplyDeleteDEAR BELOVED BABE; YOU ARE GIVING YOUR SOUL FOR MATERIAL THINGS. THE LORD ALONE IS THE GIVER OF HUSBAND. MUST YOU OPEN YOUR LEGS TO GET A HUSBAND? YOU CAN ONLY THINK STRAIGHT IF YOU CLOSE YOUR LEGS AND BEGIN TO READ YOU BIBLE.
ReplyDeleteMatthew 8:36WHAT GOOD IS IT FOR SOMEONE TO GAIN THE WHOLE WORLD, YET FORFEIT THEIR SOUL? 37OR WHAT CAN ANYONE GIVE IN EXCHANGE FOR THEIR SOUL? 38IF ANYONE IS ASHAMED OF ME AND MY WORDS IN THIS ADULTEROUS AND SINFUL GENERATION, THE SON OF MAN WILL BE ASHAMED OF THEM WHEN HE COMES IN HIS FATHER’S GLORY WITH THE HOLY ANGELS.”
Why is he single @ 39 or is he really single @ 39?
ReplyDeleteBABE, HAS THIS MAN EVER PROPOSED MARRIAGE TO YOU? HE SAYS HE NEEDS KIDS AND IS HE SEEING YOU AS A VEHICLE THROUGH WHICH HE CAN GET KIDS? IF YOU GET PREGNANT, THIS MAN WILL BE HAPPY. IF THIS MAN ENDS UP NOT MARRYING YOU; HE HAS NOT " COMMITTED ANY CRIME AGAINST YOU" BECAUSE HE NEVER PROMISED. EVEN IF YOU ARE BOTH MARRIED, IS THIS HOW YOU RUN THE UNION; HIDING SECRETS AND VISITORS? WELL SUFFICE IT TO SAY THAT YOU STARTED WRONGLY; WITH THE WRONG IMPRESSION; SEX FIrST.
ReplyDeletePink berry wait till u ar 35years old and come back to tell us if used condom with the man who finally says he wants to marry u. Shio
ReplyDeleteMy dear confused lady, FIRST..Don't let sex turn you into a mother before love turns you into a wife!!!!.....there's more to it that meets the ordinary eye. I believe u 2 are in love, no question about that. And yes it seems he got himself hooked up with another lady while u were away for 5months. If this is what happened I seriously won't fault the guy.
ReplyDeleteU are as apprehensive about things as much as he is too. No matter how bad we may say men are, they also deserve fair justice emotionally. He prolly didn't want to hatch all his eggs in ur basket alone not knowing whether u may have entered into another relationship while u were away too! So its both ways! That's that
And the other possibility could be that whoever he's hiding from u now was existing before he met you. And maybe the person only just got the opportunity to be moved into the country where u both are. Or could be a new babe. And if they are his 'relatives' from Nigeria, and so? Don't they see human being? Are they cannibals?? Why can he not introduce u to them? Afterall he says he's in 'love' with u. He's a 'single' guy as far as u know. So why can u not visit his apartment???? Pls lady whether he spoils u with monies or sleeps with u well shouldn't cloud ur reasoning for transparency.
Give him an ultimatum to allow u meet those people or u are done with him. Sentiments apart! 'There are visitors from Nigeria in my flat'...was d same story my ex husband told his ex girlfriend whom he dated just b4 me when he married me. She also lived in a fool's paradise until the lies came out that he had just married..ME! So I knw what am saying o! And besides ur man could be holding on to u along the ghost lady for the reason of conception to see who'll get preggy FIRST. So he's playing a grand monopoly game with both ur lives. And it is possible that if u get preggy he may then concentrate on u fully and perhaps marry u. But I will NOT suggest u focus on being preggy..NO! D main contention should be LOVE and YOU first, not any baby.
I am not going to ask u to stalk him or go to his flat unannounced. I have done it before and its a terrible thing I have sworn never to do again. Yea it works for some pple but it may not work for u. So I suggest u don't subject urself to that ridicule!