Saturday, June 15, 2013
Blog Visitor Says ''Women Are Too Troublesome!''
ARE WOMEN TOO TROUBLESOME?
Enjoy this soft arguement on how women can avoid being beaten by their spouses.
''Aunty Stella. I love your blog and I'm a huge fan. I have several things to say on domestic violence and I don't know how to say some. I'm a lady, 26yrs old and married. Let me start by saying Not All Men are Evil, some women put the evil in the men. I use to have a very bad mouth and a very hot temper when I'm upset and sometimes I go too far. Thank God for the grace my husband has to calm me down and not raise his hands to beat me those times. It takes only d fear of God and its not all men that have that grace and fear, most times I thank my stars for not marrying someone as hot tempered as I am because we for don kill ourselves finish..
Have you ever asked those women what they did to push those men? I'm totally against violence in d home and can't stand a man beating me. But women need to stop frustrating their men. Times are hard now and men are struggling to meet ends. They go to work all day and come home to nagging wives and wives that cannot ease their pressure but instead wahala them more (I'm guilty of it too).
Some women don't understand their men. They don't know when they are going through stuff inside and don't wanna be bothered. Aunty stella you are a woman and so am I. we both know we can be troublesome and we pick fights over unnecessary issues, some times we even hit them first if they ignore us or are not meeting our demands.. It might be at a point when the man is thinking about issues at work or thinking about sending money to a sick parent or so. At those times, learn to speak peace into your man's life, pray for/with him n leave d fight for another day. There is no excuse for a man to beat a woman but what I'm trying to say is that some women need to stop frustrating their men, stop picking fights over little issues and understand them more.
Everybody has a breaking point. Though I know its in built for some men and the woman don't have to open her mouth before the man pounces on her. I pray God have mercy on those ones. But for d rest of us who can prevent it, Please Let's give our men peace and in turn the violence stops''.
46 comments:
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@poster GBAM,GBAMMER,GBAMMESTEST,e go beta for u,now we r waiting for the vile,stubborn feminists to bring it on. Them no go gree,u neva know dem shior =))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º=)) . And am a woman o,not a man.
ReplyDeleteHmmm Stella this is so true, am not married yet but something like this happened to me, am hot tempered and I talk to my bf anyhow, it takes a man with self respect and fear of God not to hit a woman, it dawned on me when he wanted to break up with me, he told me everything I say to him at any slight provocation, if I was a boy I won't pray for a gf like me, no man has the right to beat any woman for whatever reason but we as women need to be careful too and learn to respect and pray for our man, he is the best man any woman can pray for, he is soft, good romantic, doesn't cheat, not much of a drinker SDK when I though of all these I said I have to change my ways I can't afford to lose him. Now we are taking it slow and trying to rebuild our relationship, I almost ruined it with my WAHALA. Thanks for sharing this post an glad I was able to share mine too.
ReplyDeleteI thought I was d only one. U just described me and my relationship, I couldn't have done a better job.. I pray God gives me d grace to always put my temper in check..
DeleteSame ere.....am also 'over hot tempered'but tank God for my man....he is really changing me!Can't remember d last time we had any serious quarrel!
DeleteThis was written by a man!signed:wide eyed!
ReplyDeleteWhoever wrote, just know that I love you ,I always try to explain this to people . p.s I am a woman.for those who have habitual wife beaters as husband, God will definitely reach out to you.
ReplyDeleteThis is sooooo tru. I knw some men r evil n its in their nature 2 beat up d women arnd dem. But sm others r pushed 2 violence by their women. I hv a neigbour who made d mistake of marrying an isale eko babe n he regretted his lyf. Every tym dey hv an argument she locks him in d house so he can't leave (even wen he has 2 go 2 wrk) she'll hold him by his shirt like a tout n smtyms slaps him. D 1 I witnessed she threw a coke bottle @ him I ws amazed! It ws just God dat saved his lyf dat day. He ends up landin her sm hot slaps n thus gettin d oportunity 2 leave d house. He finally had 2 send her back 2 her father's house. U can't live wit such a woman na. D last incident she had a cut on her eye n she showed every1 d pic of d injury n he ended up takin all d blame even tho 75% of d blame ws hers. We women nid 2 b mindful so we don't turn our husbands 2 wife beaters!
ReplyDeleteYes women are troublesomw and men frustrating, it doesnt give any man the right to turn a woman into a punching bags or verbally abuse her. If the trouble is too much, then take a walk and not taking out ur ftustration on her.
DeleteI am so sick and tired of women always trying to find an excuse for another women getting beat up by her husband. Always blaming the victim. It is like telling a rape victim: "well if you had not worn those revealing outfit, then you would have gotten raped". Please stop blaming the victim. Under no circumstance should a man lift his hands/fists on a woman, period, point blank. If she is very troublesome, he should learn to leave walk away
ReplyDeleteHey Madam, there is a circumstance: if during argument or whatever, the lady goes physical first, slaps and kicks the guy. It will only take the grace of God for the guy not to pummel her. And yes. I have seen 1 or 2 girls like that
DeleteWell said Ma'm, But I do not totally agree with YOU! You're making the Men look like they are Saint. On a scale of 1 to 100, I agree on 40%.
ReplyDeleteForemost, it sounds rather irritating, when I hear people say they are Hot Tempered, lol...who's cool tempered? Nothing like being hot tempered its being Unreasonable or being Foolish. Talking about hot tempered is when you act violently without thinking/considering.
Most men also are to be Blamed. Times are hard and they try to make ends ok, in some cases or most case they return Home frustrated. That Period "some" Men turn to be the one NAGGING, No matter how hard the wife tries he doesn't appreciate, You talk calmly he complains, he won't take corrections, he won't Listen, he won't appreciate the wife cos there are pressure from all angels coupled with his frustrated state. Some men also bring out the beast from a loving and caring wife.
IN that case when she's had enough, at the slightest drop, she gets beaten by a Frustrated Fool. And they say women talks too much. Most men ignite the TROUBLE!
Wearing Trousers,Getting an Erection and pouring sperms doesn't Guaranty a MAN!
(Ewu Hausa**passes the mic to Haters** Oya Collect the mic from Ewu Hausa)
Except for some few gbagaun,u are on point today.keep it coming son
DeleteNo Ewu awusa for now
U 're so on point
Somadina, you couldn't have said it more objectively! Thank you.
Delete@Somadina =))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º=)) go on so on a deke dafun e
DeleteAnd when she hits he first he should still walkaway? I guess u r one of those women who throw bottle @their husband u better change
ReplyDeleteDnt mind her na dem dey lock door beat deir mother in law come scream say help oooo my mother in law is beating me.change ur ways troublesome women,learnnn n adjust,times are hard dnt kill ur husbands,if u do d family wud hound u,tear u apart and ur kids wud bear d brunt spiritually and physically examples lie everywhere,husband's family can be very wicked n evil once deir son is dead n dey kno u r troublesome,a word is enuf for d wise!!!if u like argue till Jesus comes na una sabi!!
DeleteDnt mind her na dem dey lock door beat deir mother in law come scream say help oooo my mother in law is beating me.change ur ways troublesome women,learnnn n adjust,times are hard dnt kill ur husbands,if u do d family wud hound u,tear u apart and ur kids wud bear d brunt spiritually and physically examples lie everywhere,husband's family can be very wicked n evil once deir son is dead n dey kno u r troublesome,a word is enuf for d wise!!!if u like argue till Jesus comes na una sabi!!
DeleteThis writer is so on point.. The only violence I can't advice a woman to bear is when the husband goes out and drinks to stupor,then comes back to beat the hell outta her,that I won't take. But aside that one,women,can sha talk...
ReplyDeleteI went to visit a friend 2weeks ago,and her neighbour was fighting with the husband. The arguement obviously started inside the house,but the woman brought it outside. He wanted to leave the house cos I'm sure he didn't want to beat her,u needed to see the way this woman held the husbands cloth,the man was even begging her to leave him since neighbours were watching she said lailai,he must give her the 20k of which he has given her 16k inside the house but she insisted he must complete it
Do u know the man emptied his pocket for all to see but this woman refused. There are 3flats in the compound aand they are the only married couple. When the man wanted to remove her hand,the woman just landed him slap,every body screamed,my friend said that's how she hits the man all the time and the man doesn't hit her back.. People where still trying to drag her outta there and she landed another slap,the moment the man was free,he drove off.
So in this case,if they man had dealt with her u sill still blame him abi? Not all men have that kinda patience. Watch the things u say to ur husband when arguing,don't go calling him horrible names or insulting him and expect him to be calm. Ada might try it and get away with it but stella wouldn't .
If u are a good woman,u don't talk back at ur hubby,u respect him and do all he wants and he still beat u,its either he has a spiritual problem or he is demented but if its ur mouth,please curb it
truth be told, Some not all, women have got very bad mouth. but the majority do.
ReplyDeletesome even dare their husbands...."what can you dooooo? beat me now, beat me"
you know like some market women ish.
but a true gentle man should walk out of it.
If only most men know that silence and walking out of the situation is the best form rather than hitting...
*the woman go worry diee! too many thoughts running in her head, she go begin call her hubby number endlessly* lol
Dear Men, Please do not beat up your wife no matter the situation, just walk away to clear your head. beating defines you as weak, walking away defines your strength and what you are..A REAL MAN!
somadina buahahahhahahaaaa. OMG! your comment made sense and cracked me up at the same time.
ReplyDeletevalid dimension of reasoning. on point!
As innnn bloglord ori somadina pe baje,d boy get sense,I gbadun d passing of d mic to ewu hausa =))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º=)) Somadina keep it up o jare.
DeleteBEST RESPONSE HERE:
ReplyDelete"somadina obi said:
Well said Ma'm, But I do not totally agree with YOU! You're making the Men look like they are Saint. On a scale of 1 to 100, I agree on 40%.
Foremost, it sounds rather irritating, when I hear people say they are Hot Tempered, lol...who's cool tempered? Nothing like being hot tempered its being Unreasonable or being Foolish. Talking about hot tempered is when you act violently without thinking/considering.
Most men also are to be Blamed. Times are hard and they try to make ends ok, in some cases or most case they return Home frustrated. That Period "some" Men turn to be the one NAGGING, No matter how hard the wife tries he doesn't appreciate, You talk calmly he complains, he won't take corrections, he won't Listen, he won't appreciate the wife cos there are pressure from all angels coupled with his frustrated state. Some men also bring out the beast from a loving and caring wife.
IN that case when she's had enough, at the slightest drop, she gets beaten by a Frustrated Fool. And they say women talks too much. Most men ignite the TROUBLE!
Wearing Trousers,Getting an Erection and pouring sperms doesn't Guaranty a MAN!
(Ewu Hausa**passes the mic to Haters** Oya Collect the mic from Ewu Hausa)"
Pleaseeeeeeee! Who wrote this rubbish? Speak for you damn self! Some women oh, all women oh, no man should put his hands on his wife. Who doesn't have bad mouth or sharp mouth? Talking as if all men are saints. I don't understand why some women like to blame themselves for the bullshit their husbands put them through. If you know you are a troublesome person and your husband is in a bad mood, then stay away from him! Go and watch tv in another room, read a book or find something to do instead of bn in his face knowing that shit can hit the fan! Abi was MS KAY troublesome before her husband abused her for 19years? Nope! Sit there and be writing to Stella blaming your fellow women for bn troublesome oh.....if you like insult me like some of you like doing here, I won't reply you. Hiss!
ReplyDeleteI still wonder why violence is the way out, if a fellow man insults him, he wont fight him. If his boss (lady) at the office treats him like crap he dares not touch her, highest he'll resign. Walk away if u cant take it dnt beat her cos u can or cos u r stronger.
ReplyDeleteThe issue here is nt weda she provokes him or not for goodness sake he might even be provoking her more. The koko here is dt you shouldnt result to violence haba, if women were stronger dis DV wont be an issue. Lets all work in making ourselves better.
Let the head be up and let the neck carry it well we all have a role to play,our women copy bad things and I don't know from where our men suffer a lot I mean real men not lazy people,please women help us men remember satan got adam through eve...
ReplyDeleteBiko nu
Let the head be up and let the neck carry it well we all have a role to play,our women copy bad things and I don't know from where our men suffer a lot I mean real men not lazy people,please women help us men remember satan got adam through eve...
ReplyDeleteBiko nu
Me noo gerr comment o,buh our boy somdina has made a gr8 name for himself today,he nailed it!All una beeferz,trippin for d poor boy come out straight k!ask for his number under anonymous,even una wey dey tlk say e dey gbagaun,hw many pple helpz u read thru b4 u drop comment!Abeg som,wateva!U made a huge point,n even do most tymz!(Note,am a lady n not som...under anonymous!H to d L=H.L
ReplyDeleteSomadina is all grown up. LOL.
ReplyDeleteComment #20 very true.
I agree with what the writer said oo. My mum could sometimes be a typical example of a troublesome woman to my dad. Sometimes she nags the hell out of my dad. What my dad does is just to simply ignore her and concentrate on the tv or he sometimes walks away to the other flat and leave her in the other apartment. I really admire my dad for this and always pray that the man I get married to exhibits the kind of patience my dad has towards my mum. They have been married for d past 35yrs and are always together. But my mum can go overboard sometimes sha!. Anyways it is adviceable that women should always learn to bridle their tongues and have total respect for their man at all time. The same should always be applicable to the male folk too. Love and treat ur better half and all other females like the queen they are and the world would be a better place to live in.#thatsmy humbleopinion!#
ReplyDelete"Everyone has a breaking point".
ReplyDeleteAs long as women disrespect their husbands and say hurtful words, DV will worsen and the world would not end. As long as Mankind has deviated from the laws of God who made marriage, problems will not seize. Its like operating a machine against the directions in the manual.
The crusade against DV in blogs is BLIND, ONE SIDED and HYPOCRITICAL.
There are 2 sides to a story or argument.
If U tell men to have self control, is it so hard to advice the women on their conduct to win their husband's love?
This is a sick failure in the crusade. Someone here says the strength of women is their mouth. So, what is the strength of men? As long as U run ur mouth against him or anyone for that matter be strong enough to take a backlash!
Advocate peace and one family not divorce!! God!!
God bless you. That summarised everything. Exactly my thought. Cheers!
DeleteMrs Stella,
ReplyDeleteWhat about the Mister whose wife disrespected him? I remember the family meeting was held yesterday June 15th; has he notified you of the outcome?
Sir if you are reading this, please what is your family's stand and how did the meeting go?
Thank you in anticipation.
Anon 21, we never heard from Mr KAY so your comment about Ms Kay cannot be verified. Honestly, I'd love to hear Mr Kay's side of the story.
ReplyDeleteI sympathize with Ms Kay but believes she didn't paint the whole picture.
@anon 12:32,you made a strong and reasonable point
ReplyDelete@ anon 30 5:31am.......please don't bring that here. Who the hell wants to hear from a man that abused his wife for 19 years? Verified or not, what difference will it make? I don't think MS KAY or any of the women who are/ were domestic violence victims asked for your sympathy so I don't know what painted picture you are looking for!!!! What is wrong is wrong.......if a man loves his wife, why should be beat her? Aren't there other ways to deal with the situation? Abi is anon # 27's dad not a man who chose to ignore her mom's nagging? And they are still together after 35yrs. Must a man get physical with his wife before he gets his message across? No...........
ReplyDeleteRESPECT, UNDERSTANDING and TOLERANCE is the watchword, motto in Marriage.. Both men and women needs to do the right thing.. Two can only stay together if they agree to, not disagree...
ReplyDeleteMen love,appreciate and treat ur women like a queen(like ur mother or do you beat ur mother?). Women treat him like a king understand ur man, his moods, his utterances, and know when to approach him to discuss issues, do not add more pressure to what he is going through.. It takes two to tango. Women should watch their tongue(control & modesty in everything you do). Undertsand that you can't win an argument with an angry or frustrated man. Do not frustrate ur man till he hits his boiling point. All in all, Husbands & wives should always seek for peace and not violence(uncontrollable tongue or anger) in everything they do..
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletekedra pls shut up abeg.....it seems people think a man can do all he wants or says all he wants but the woman has to be patient? why can men learn to take what they dish out to women? why is it the woman that must stomach everything.....we women to have a right to be angry as well and the man shl also be patient at at that point.....while i agree you have extremely badly behaved men and women no man or woman has the right to hit another person......NO MAN HAS THE RIGHT TO BEAT A WOMAN PERIOD
ReplyDeleteI DONT SEE ANYONE HERE TALKING ABOUT THE FEELINGS OF THE WOMAN.....IT SEEMS WE HAVE TO WORSHIP THE MEN REGARDLESS OF HOW WE FEEL ABI? WHAT OF MEN WHO TALK ANYHOW TO THEIR WIVES, CHEAT SERIALLY YET COS YOU DONT WANT TO INCUR A BEATING YOU HAVE TO BE GENTLE.....AL WE HEAR IS TALK GENTLY, DNT FRUSTRATE HIM, READ HIS MOODS ETC......HOW IS THE MAN TAUGHT TO LOVE HIS WIFE LIKE THE BIBLE SAYS? HOW IS HE TAUGHT TO READ HIS WIFE'S MOOD OR BE GENTLE WHEN SHE IS ANGRY? LIFE IS NOT ALL ABOUT THE MAN IN NA MARRIAGE AND AM SICK AND TIRED TO HEARING CRAP..ALL PROBLEMS IN MARRIAGE CAN BE SOLVED IF BOTH PARTIES ADMIT THEIR FAULTS BUT MOST MEN WHO BATTER WOMEN BELIEVE THEY ARE PERFECT AND ALL WOMEN ARE SUBJECT TO THEM....ONLY A MAN WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM, LACK SELF CONTROL AND A COWARD WILL BEAT A WOMAN.....NO MARRIAGE IS WORTH SACRIFICING FOR...IF HE BATTERS YOU LEAVE HIS LOW LIFE SORRY ARSE....
ReplyDeleteShe gets me angry and I don't feel her anymore, I slap her she cry stella publishes it, pple comment, and I laff. She do it again, I beat her. And den divorce her. And if she offends me too much and I divorce her and marrys anoda woman, stella says woman snatches me as if am a hand bag.
ReplyDeleteIf your little child nags you when you are in a bad mood, do you beat him or her to a point of death? Women are to be protected. Men and women do not have equal strength, just as an adult and a child do not.... Violence is never the answer. If a stranger will offend you and you can walk away because it is uncivilized to fight at every sight of provocation, why then pour that energy on beating your wife, someone you claim to love. O ga ooo
ReplyDeleteIf your little child nags you when you are in a bad mood, do you beat him or her to a point of death? Women are to be protected. Men and women do not have equal strength, just as an adult and a child do not.... Violence is never the answer. If a stranger will offend you and you can walk away because it is uncivilized to fight at every sight of provocation, why then pour that energy on beating your wife, someone you claim to love. O ga ooo
ReplyDeleteI wonder oooo
DeleteIt is cheating that make women go BALLISTIC!!!
ReplyDeleteMy dear there is no excuse for DV. Even calm women are brutalized by their men. Pls speak for yourself and stop this male glorification. Pls I beg u.
ReplyDeletesome women are troublesome to say the least. they look for loopholes when there is none and try to dwell on that fact. they talk you into doing things you dont wanna do. i am ashamed of myself when i first raised my hand on my girlfriend because as teh saying goes, no matter what the girl does and i mean no matter, no man should beat a girl. but most girls forget that every guy has a break point. what i just do now is if im angry, i just tend to be quiet and walk out to get myself as when girls shout and no one answers them, they will surely keep quiet and when i come back, she knows i wouldnt eat, so i just climb the bed and sleep. when the time is right for us to settle, it will surely come. being in a relationship is really daunting as when you see singles, you feel they are happy but to be honest, i love my girlfriend die!!! but on the other hand, 'it is better to live in the desert/wilderness than to pitch your tent with a nagging woman (Proverbs 21:19 )
ReplyDeletewhen there is an arguement, walk off!!!!. God help us