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Sunday, June 09, 2013

After Years Of Domestic Abuse Man Abandons Wife For Facebook Lover!

                            

She is calling on human rights groups, association of physically challenged persons, Ministry of Women Affairs and other relevant agencies to fight for her.
           

     
Culled from Daily Sun

 Is it a crime to fall in love? That is exactly the question that Mrs. Folasade Esther (surname withheld)has asked herself a million times.


She has been seeking an answer after her heartthrob, who works with an oil company in Akwa Ibom State, reportedly turned his back on her and their two children to marry a lover he met on Facebook. Daily Sun gathered that when Folasade, a physically challenged lady, got married, most people thought it was a marriage made in heaven.

Unfortunately, the one-time happy union later turned to hell on earth. Although the bride counts herself blessed for having two lovely children, she does not hide the fact that the six-year-old marriage had brought her more tears than joy.

Folasade said her husband, who she met 15 years ago in Lagos, suddenly broke his marital vows after battering her for years. The proof of her agony could be seen on her body, full of indelible scars from bruises allegedly inflicted on her by her husband. Folasade said she bore her sorrows in uncomplaining meekness, casting her hopes on the Christian assurance that all would be well again.

To her disappointment, things got worse. Her heroic endurance was shattered recently when the father of her children fell into the arms of another woman on the social interactive site, Facebook. Since then, things fell apart, as he allegedly subjected her to rounds of beatings and starvation.

Grieved by the incident, the young lady recounted with tears how she laboured for five days in the hospital for the delivery of her baby, regretting that her husband neither showed up nor called. She said his uncaring attitude at that time was a clear message that he had something up his sleeves.

“He never called to ask after my condition. I was later transferred to the General Hospital, Uyo and they had to carry out a caesarean section on me. By then, the baby was so weak and it passed away the next day,” she lamented. With songs of sorrow on her lips, Folasade’s hypertensive condition has deteriorated so badly that she has to live on drugs. Struggling with a crutch to support her disabled leg in the face of her present health crisis and at the same time fending for her two under-aged children has left the 36-year-old lady truly traumatised.

She told the reporter that she had to wash her dirty linen in public because her husband made her life so miserable. On whether they were live-in-lovers, she said they got married in the law court six years ago. “We were in courtship for several years. During the courtship, I got pregnant for him and gave birth to my son. Later, we wedded legally at the Akwa Ibom registry in 2007, about six years ago.

I have already had my son before that court marriage. My son will be 10 next month. After the court marriage, I gave birth to a baby girl,” she said. Folasade said trouble slipped into her marriage when her husband started dating a strange woman on Facebook. According to her, the new lover was a divorcee and mother of four children. “Our problem started when they started online dating. Last time, I went to give birth to my baby at UK.

That was about three years ago. I noticed that anytime I travelled, the lady would come over to my marital home and stay with my husband. I have been noticing other changes in my husband’s attitude towards me. So, I started suspecting my husband.

It is a case of a dog that wags its tail whenever it sees you, but all of a sudden, it will see you and start barking. I knew that something was wrong,” she said. Folasade said her curiosity to find out the problem from her husband earned her merciless beatings.

The case got worse whenever she summoned courage to complain to his friends and relatives, pleading with them to intercede on her behalf. Such step, she said, won her more beatings and the stoppage of the N30,000 monthly feeding allowance for the entire family.

Folasade said she did everything to make her marriage work and possibly win back her husband’s love but her matrimonial home kept falling apart.

She said her husband, at a point, abandoned her and the kids for about a month, leaving them without any money for their feeding. “When these troubles began, I called some of his bosses to explain, pleading with them to talk to him. But anytime I called his friends to help us make peace, things would get worse. I noticed that if his family tried to talk to him, he would never listen. He is the breadwinner of the house, so, nobody can fault his actions. If they don’t support him, then, he will starve them too.”

The aggrieved mother said the height of her agony came on May 15 when he turned her to a punching bag. Aside battering her, she narrated how she became a public spectacle when her husband allegedly tore her clothes to shreds and threw her outside the gates of their house at night.

She had to seek refuge at the Police Station, Eket, she said. According to her, she reported the matter to the police at Eket, while some Good Samaritans provided clothes to cover her nudity. “The police came to arrest him but he refused to open the door.

The way he beat me, I couldn’t see anything, not even my phone. I was tattered when I got to the police station at Eket. The police came back again but he refused to open the door. He later called the DPO to complain that armed robbers came to his house to rob him. He saw the officers that came in police uniform but he turned the whole story around, calling them armed robbers,” she said.

When he finally showed up at the Police Station, Folasade said the Divisional Police Officer (DPO) ordered him to take her to the hospital for treatment.

But she said he only drove her home and left for work. She said her agony worsened in the night when his lover came to their house with another lady and they slept with her husband in the bedroom. Folasade said she and her children had to sleep in another room. But she was yet to experience the worst.

According to her, she was returning from the hospital on Friday, May 17, where she had gone to treat her wounds, when she sighted a big truck in their compound. Her husband, aided by his Facebook lover and the woman’s sister, allegedly removed every item in the house. Not even her personal belongings or those of her children were spared, she said. Folasade said she kept her distance to avoid further trouble. And when the truck drove off, she walked into an empty house where, in her words, she wailed in agony. When it dawned on her that her tears could not restore her lost fortunes, she hurriedly went to pick her children from school and they left their home empty handed.

“There is nothing I brought out of my house. Not even my underwear were left for me. I lost everything. My children had nothing to wear expect the school uniform they wore to school on that day. It is as bad as that,” she said.

When our reporter contacted the husband on the telephone, he said he wouldn’t join issues with his wife on the pages of a newspaper. Further attempts to persuade him to open up met a brick wall, as he abruptly hung up.

Although the husband has chosen to be silent, Folasade is shouting at the rooftop. She is calling on human rights groups, association of physically challenged persons, Ministry of Women Affairs and other relevant agencies to fight for her.

With her two children by her side, the task of building from ground zero seemed daunting. But she had vowed never to allow the custody of her two children in the hands of a strange woman that lured her husband away from their marital home. “I am handicapped. There is little I can do. He should take care of his children.

He should provide money for the training of these children. I want to beg human rights groups, the association of physically challenged persons and concerned activists to save me from the hands of this man that subjected me to all these abuses over the years.

He turned me to a punching bag, starving me and throwing my children and I out of the house. He believed there is nothing I have or that there is nothing I can do. But I have God,” she said.



*JESUSCHRISTOFNAZARETH Please come to this womans aid!*

33 comments:

  1. Hmmmmmmmmmmm...... The Lord is ur strenght... Hold on to HIM"GOD... I keep telling people, marriage is not a do or die affair....

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    1. Exactly o,its not a do or die affair at all.she saw the writings on the wall,but did nothing about it.naija women carry husbands ontop head,must you marry with ur soul?or a man must kill you first before you'd realise he's out of love?na wa o

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  2. This man is a beast in human flesh,i feel so sorry for her....Govt shld plssss do something to protect women's rights in this our country.....kuku

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    1. Hmmm govt ke?that's a complete story for another day o

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  3. I am weak in the knees.

    Marriage has become so scary for some people.

    No marriage is easy though, but after reading this I must say that "the rat wey dey some people house big pass the one wey dey others own o"

    I pray she gets all the help she needs. God! I don't even know what else to say.

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  4. Most women usually see the handwriting on the wall,but refuse to act on it immidiately instead they remain there to get killed.when you notice a man's strange behaviour,and all efforts of seeking solution aint working,my dear take a walk,make the first move and get outta there.but a typical nigerian woman would stay there until she's killed.can you marry a man when you're dead?how on earth can you still be with a man who beat you up and turned you to a 'vegetable'?naija women make una wisen up abeg,nothing wrong in divorce o especially when na death u dey see so,don't 'gree die' there and be chanting 'bcos of my children',bcos when you die,those kids will live o.

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    1. You people keep saying "take a walk" do u tink its so easy to take that walk. Look at Ms Kay, it took her years to take a walk. Just pray not to be in that shoes. He who wears it, knows where it pinches

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    2. Anon 1:16,ngwa don't take a walk,remain there and die.he'd definitely attend ur burial with the 'other woman'.naija women with una rubbish mentalilty,mtchheeeew!

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    3. We're do u take a walk to. Wen u have kids to pay fees feed and cloth, houz rent and oda necesities. Wot ur pay isn't high enuf to carter for u and dem. And u dnt have a supportin family. My case is not even upto dis. Mine is a case of neglect and selfishness, am feed up. Want to take a bow but dnt no which way. To go wit d kids. Its not rily dat easy

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    4. Anon 7:27 you can start from somewhere,my dear life no get duplicate o.why suffer in an unhappy marraige,leave the bastard and God will surely make a way.let me tell u my story,I was 8months pregnant with our 2nd child a girl,when my husband got into a relationship with this lady.I was beaten,neglected,cursed,abandoned cos I hardly saw him.at that time our first child was a three yrs old boy.I kept praying for things to change.family intervened but it only got worse when they left cos he'd just pack his bags and not return for weeks.he beat me up severely one night when he returned and I ended up in the clinic(shell clinic ph)cos he's a shell staff.I had a ceasarean birth,he was with this lady when I put to bed.I continued taking all the bullshit,hoping he'd change,praying,I literally looked mad cos of marital problems and lack of peace in my home.my daughter was ten months old,when my ex walked into the house one nite with his mistress and 2 policemen to arrest me,I was locked up immidiately we got to the station ,and I saw them laughing and kissing outside while I was writing my statement.long story short,family intervened and he bailed me the next day,I was still breastfeeding.I continued to endure,so scared to stand on my own.but I took a decision one good day,I summoned courage and left him,dusted my certificate cos I'm a graduate but never worked throughout our marraige cos he didn't want me to.I took my kids,got a job,his woman moved in with him and I totally kept him in my past,cos I went thru hell,only a fool would want to keep suffering like that,mid thirties and all i said to myself,'go on you're still young,you can do it'.and I did it,my dear,today as I type this the bastard is begging,my daughter that was barely a yr old when I left is 6 yrs old now,my son is almost 9yrs old.didn't work between them,no kids and he wants his family back.is it possible for me to go back to that monster,hell no!I left his house with my toddlers with just 7k in my purse,straight to my younger sisters house.please if you're in a terrible,deadly situation in ur marraige with no means of reviving it,pls DO TAKE A WALK,life is most important.

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    5. Tanx madam, I sure. Wil do sometin abt. It. And am serious

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  5. I guess the marriage was ill-starred and I'm sure she overlooked the writings on the wall. How sad. You were trying to save your marriage with a Hoo-doo, see the outcome. My sincere prayer for you.. Let the God of the Helpless and of justice intervene in your situation. You gonna smile again IJN.

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  6. Every woman should be financially INDEPENDENT!!! When you have your money you won't take SHIT from no one!

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    1. God bless u 4 dis comment....I say only foolish women and I repeat only foolish women wil marry n become full housewives,by d tym d man starts misbehaving,wat wuld u do?where wuld u go 2?u wil av no choice but 2 remain in d ill marriage wit ur kids suffering all d battering n punching.be financially 2 an extent and dnt be a fool!

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    2. No matter d amt u have, u cnt take care of u and kids. So many women are tired but just can't. Leave coz of dat.

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    3. Please why can't U̶̲̥̅̊ leave,if U̶̲̥̅̊ can take care of ursef? Let me tell U̶̲̥̅̊ dt,its fear of †ђε unknown dt make so many women stay wit a man dt constantly beat dem.I knw our society frown @ divorce,but den if †ђε man kill U̶̲̥̅̊,U̶̲̥̅̊ ll die like a chicken n suffer ur innocent children. Stop suffering in silence,take a bold step n leave,U̶̲̥̅̊ won't av all †ђε luxury but U̶̲̥̅̊ ll av ur life and if U̶̲̥̅̊ re determined 2 make it,U̶̲̥̅̊ will make it.

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  7. Folashade clean your tears help is on the way our God will not let you down .what a wicked world.

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  8. Take heart, i knw God will nt leave u in ur trying tyms, cos he said he won't give us any challenge we can't overcome, jst hold him 2 his word, it's a pity we live in a country were women affairs aren't taken seriously..

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  9. Some kinds of things which some woman can do before making there man later called husband do for past before marriage no dey make me believe all there stories,,becos things are not always being the same every year,,becos fake things do fail in due time,,but woman take hearts and pray much now,,with God all is well

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    1. Anon 3:54 abeg abeg abeg,don't you ever write on this blog again,cos you just gave me a serious migraine all in a bid to read the nonsence you wrote.write in pidgin next time else don't write at all,haba!bullcrap!

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    2. Anon 6.25pm,my dear I thought I was the only one oh! I didn't just have a migraine, I had a partial brain disconnect. Ogara school amaghi akwukwo.

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    3. @ AnonymousJune 9, 2013 at 6:25 PM

      Your nonsense is not spelt correctly too!

      Physician,heal thyself!

      ​​​​​​​​​​=))º°˚˚˚°ºLmaoº°˚˚˚°º‎​°º‎​=))

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    4. @fearless,seems you're so stupid with ur useless comments.so you've never made a mistake by typing incorrectly before,onyeara,anuofia.right back at you bitch,lmao.stupid foolish idiot!

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    1. I pray God gives u strenght and I know HE will provide for your needs!

      The decadence in marriages of nowadays is so scary,I pray that the evil will never come near me!

      That's why I'm praying to God for a man after HIS Heart!IJMN,Amen

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    2. @fearless,you will never get a man,not to talk of the one after God's heart.btw aproko sabi sabi,this is how to spell STRENGTH,thank me now.hypocrite,take out the log from your rotten eyes,so you can see the speck from someone else's own!anuofia,karuwa banza!

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  11. The truth is as women, if any man says don't work I've got this say no thanks! See how this poor woman is suffering. Its good to be independent as men even respect such women. I just hope there is something good out of this.
    Also, when women say they are praying for it to get better it pisses me off. GOD doesn't approve of you staying to get killed. Move out and pray for your marriage from there. Infact once a man cheats, you have every reason to dump his sorry ass.
    I just hope she and her kids don't end up too badly.

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  12. Oya where aunty Abike Dabiri nd aunty joe-akin Odumakin this woman needs help oh! Shame on the Eket police DPO na God go punish am obviously the oil nigga bribed d fool. Folashade God will turn ur story around nd for dat facebook *binsh* ur own punishment no go be punch oh omo na smackdown, RKO, Spear{WWE tins} na im b ur portion.

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  13. I agree with Moi... A woman has to be financially independent because realistically, no man wants a liability.. The woman should forget about the man for now and get something doing to provide for the kids...

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  14. I use to tell myslf dat when I finally get married, mayb I wldnt av children for a year, n see wat apens!

    I don't tink I wld lik to drag my kids into any form of marriage tussle!

    Marriage scares d living day outta me!

    BUT CAN 1 B TOO CAREFUL?

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  15. 30 thousand naira? And he is even refusing to give that? Hmmmm, some people r really suffering!!

    The Nigerian police is also part of the problem.so long as they keep calling domestic violence 'family matter' and sending the women right back into the hands of the abuser, even making them out to be the evil one, this menace will not stop!!!

    Until they begin prosecuting and jailing these evil men, no body will take it seriously!

    I pray an NGO gets involvedn a strong one that can fight for this woman and even join the 'facebook' lover in the suit. Yes, you would bv surprised at what you can get from the court just because you asked!!!

    Againn shame on the Nigerian police!

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  16. anon no.26....u re a strong woman,i admire ur courage.May the lord continue to uphold n strengthen u.U will surely reap the fruits of ur labour in Jesus' name.
    @ Folashade....may help come ur way in Jesus' name.U have ur life so there's hope for u.It is well....

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