Hmmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
UNFULFILLED SIT AT HOME MUM
I'm a sit at home mum, I decided to put career on hold so as to nurture my kids, but I'm not just a furniture, I'm a quick thinker and solution finder, this makes my husband to consult me before taking any decisions, infact he sends his office memos or report to me first to read and make any possible amendments before he submit to his superior, this is someone at a top management level in one of the biggest manufacturing companies in Africa.
My problem here is I feel unfulfilled, I want to start something like business but my husband is now used to me being an housewife for more than 10years, my family thinks I'm lucky to have a man that adores and spoils me but I think there's more to my life than being a mother and wife.
I want to go out and work too, my husband likes being on phone with me all through so far there's no major work at his office, but I'm tired already
First off, cant your hubby be paying you for helping him out with his Office work?At least you will earn something ..
First off, cant your hubby be paying you for helping him out with his Office work?At least you will earn something ..
Second off, cant you open a super market or small shop with provisions outside your where you live or you rent somewhere for it?
It's time you discuss how you feel with you husband. Continue until he understands how serious this is.
ReplyDeleteDiscuss with your husband and tell.him.how you feel
DeleteBetter advice from stella
ReplyDeleteFrom your narration, you must be a very intelligent woman. It will be a great disservice to allow it go to waste. Discuss with your hubby and I hope he will be reasonable. I am a man by the way, and I won’t want my 2 female kids to end up just being house wives.
ReplyDeleteStella, I don't think she will be fulfilled even if her husband pays her.
ReplyDeleteShe wants to be productive and part take in other aspects of life apart from motherhood and wifehood.
Poster, see if you can get a job even if if a small low paying job and start there . You can keep upgrading yourself and looking for better jobs and grow from there. Knowing that you are not working for the money, you can stop anytime you get your desired fulfillment or you can continue as long as you wish.
Best wishes.
My dear...take care of your kids and family if that's what your hubby wants. Don't use your hand and attract problems into your marriage.
ReplyDeleteNowadays, u don't need to leave the house for you to work, I understand the need for a well read person to want to contribute their intellect, ability , et am to an organisation's growth, you can for a remote job online wch u can do from the comfort of your home.
You could also start a business like Stella said, supermarket or a high-end boutique for your rich friends.
If u sit down and check it, there are many things u could do without destroying the status quo. Palm oil will soon be in season, have u thought about purchasing it in bulk, store in a warehouse and sell off when the prices sky rocket towards the end of year. You can store other food items like egusi, ogbono, etc. All these pay well and u will do them from the comfort of your home with your phone and data to communicate with your customers.
All u need is a good capital why I guess your hubby can provide u if u ask him. Kudos.
Exactly! Good advice.
DeletePoster, do you want to leave your kids in the care of house maids and outsiders while you are away working in a cooperative organization? You know how perverted people are right? Please don't expose the kids to evil people. The best you can do is start up your own business where you can take a break at will. Or any business where you can have your kids stay with you there when ever they are back from school . E.g supermarket...
Enroll for online professional courses get remote jobs and earn depending on your academic background..
ReplyDeleteGbam..
DeleteYou have to find something to do please. Even for only activities. Because many of the businesses outside now is not profitable.
ReplyDeleteStella thanks for posting. He gives me enough money, infact I woke up to another alert this morning, he said just to appreciate me. But I feel unfulfilled, I want to make myself more useful in the society.
ReplyDeleteYeah, just like I posted up there👆 even if he pays you, you wouldn't still be fulfilled. I understand that feeling. Sometimes you will be wondering,"did I go through the stress of going to school, do NYSC, etc. just to cook, clean, care for my children, sleep, wake up, eat, press phone, sleep again and stay idle?"
DeletePlease get a small job, even if it's teaching so that you can be occupied and productive, then you plan how to grow from there.
Best wishes once again.
Discuss with your husband. We can't help you to ask him. Speak with him about your feelings and see what he says. Don't fight about it.may wisdom prevail.
Delete😂 Stella and provision store.
ReplyDeleteYes Ma, you can put yourself to better use while at home. There are sites online that you can sign up to proofread and get paid in any currency. Or your register for Data Analyst training for 1-3 months I believe. After which you can start working remotely at your convenience and still earn a lot. It also requires a lot of brain work which you have mentioned to be good at.
No need to leave your house. Do online training(s) and start earning at your own pace and timing.
Discuss this with your husband and see the out come
ReplyDeleteDiscuss this with your husband and see the out come
ReplyDeleteDiscuss this with your husband and see how it goes
ReplyDeleteMi dear, forget paid work/salary. Open a provision shop, a mini shoprite stall, etc. Infact have an office in the shop with all the trappings and still continue being your hubby PA.
ReplyDeleteI feel you. And it would get worse when your kids all enter secondary school. Can you start looking for courses you can learn online that can help you get a job remotely? I'm sure you'll love it
ReplyDeletePlease have a sober talk with your husband. Life out there at work places is not so rosy o, you can get remote jobs to do and still be satisfied. Don't mortgage the peaceful home you have because of ambition. May God guide you
ReplyDeleteYou can open a consultancy firm. You can choose your jobs and have more control over your time. Part-time employment may be the best option for you, that way the home life is not disrupted too much. Having the privilege to guide your children, protect them and build them up in the morals and values you and your husband share should never be understated, it is a blessing that will show its rewards in adulthood.
ReplyDeleteSpeak to your husband about your desires. I rarely hear of a husband opposing a wife wanting to work part-time, it’s when they want full-time employment that they will push back. Please also keep in mind that some men are very dependent on the support and input of their wife, your husband sounds like such a person. Do not let any work interrupt that synergy you have together. If you do take on work, do not let it impact the harmony of your household. Your marriage is good for a reason and it works because of certain pieces being in place.
Poster please follow Mammi Stella advice, provision shop go suit well or you buy and keep in the house then sell online like expensive hair beacause your husband friends and well wishers go patronize you well but if you no Sabi well don't go into it oo or you discuss with your husband seriously with your husband he will be in right position to choose what you will do sef
ReplyDeleteWishing you good luck
Stella this ur comment no follow abeg. She already said her husband spoils her silly, which payment you dey talk about again? Pls don’t destroy someone’s home o. Poster like most people have said, talk to your husband about a business but have a proper business plan before you table it to him. God will continue to bless your marriage.
ReplyDeleteGenerally speaking, I understand the important need to sacrifice for home-keeping, especially during the earliest stages of raising a family. But it hurt to find creative or innovative business or career-oriented women wearing the robe of a full housewife without putting a timeline or exhausting the discussion with their husbands on when to get back to their grove. Apologies, I am not disparaging full housewives, because history has shown that some found fulfilment or their life purpose being a full housewife. I wear my badge of the scars of womanhood proudly.
ReplyDeleteHe met you doing something tangible, something empowering, something resourcefully rewarding before making the bold marital decision. So why cut off completely from a worthy growth path, that has been developmentally rewarding with value-added propensities? While it is much easier for business-savvy ones to improvise their business demands and work from home in some cases, it can be a bit tricky for career-focused women to work remotely; most are rigid to their pattern - flexibility is a skill. Switching off one's life purpose is living an unfilled life - destiny unfulfilled. We, as humans have a call to pursue. Everyone was created with a life purpose. And no woman's destiny is defined as a full housewife.
Dear poster, you’re not just a housewife; you’re an unpaid executive assistant, a strategic advisor, and an intelligent woman with untapped potential. And the worst part? You know it. That’s why the money your husband gives you isn’t hitting the spot - it’s not about the cash. It’s about autonomy, purpose, and the need to prove to yourself that you’re more than an appendage to your husband’s life.
To be brutally honest, your husband enjoys your availability. You’re his emotional and intellectual crutch, and he’s comfortable with things as they are. That’s fine - for him. But you’re suffocating. You don’t need authorised permission to live your life, and you don’t need to negotiate your right to contribute to self-growth and society - these are deal breakers empowerment defines on us all to hold on to. If you wait for his enthusiastic support, you’ll still be waiting in another decade, resentful and drained - most men are not keen to give women the freedom and guidance for their self-development. And who knows a curated life might just have been stifled and allowed to waste away in the shadows of womanhood. I understand that not all life purposes can be pursued or will be pursued. But if we don’t have the grace to dream, where will the drive of fulfilment come from?
Now, for the practical bit. Forget small side hustles unless that's what you are passionate about - meaning you have to want them at least. You’re clearly a high-functioning, analytical thinker. Who could be destined for something big tomorrow? Why waste that on a provision store? You’ve been proofreading reports and refining high-level documents for years, top-notch management skills - why not monetise that remotely? Editing, copywriting, research assistance, or even virtual executive support are all viable options these days. Since your husband already trusts your judgment in business matters, ease into consulting or freelance administrative work. No need for a grand rebellion - just start, without destabilising or uprooting the peace of your family.
If his constant calls are a problem, set boundaries. “Hey love, I’ll be working from 10 AM to 2 PM, so I won’t be available.” End of story. He’ll adjust and adapt to your routine as well. You don’t need permission to evolve; you need a kind partner with a discerning spirit who understands the rich value his wife can add to his life - who knows, as erratic as fate can sometimes be, you might even be the table through which your husband will be made a king. You just need to start. Married life was not created by God for us to abandon our purpose. It is meant to be the torchbearer to our growth, fulfilment, and divine calling, illuminating the path to a life of love, service, and legacy.
There has to be some kind of etiquette to commenting on other people's story. What the hell kind of long advise is this? Over sabi sabi syndrome, empty barrel, biggest noise. Long hiss!
Delete00:14, what kind of etiquette? Ultimately, the responses are for the the person who sent in the chronicle, not anyone else. Only they can decide what is worthwhile. Ebony adds value to the comment section with her deep, well thought out and long responses. Plus, she keeps to herself and never bothers a soul.
DeleteMadam online business is for you. You can become a virtual assistant or copy writer online. Not everything is provision shop. You can help business owners craft emails and reach out to potential clients etc while working from home. All you need is a decent laptop and the flexibility to work in different time zones.
ReplyDeleteSame issue with my aunt but it wasn't until she "strong headedly" got a job without his knowledge that made her find out the reason why he was spoiling her and keeping her indoors. HER HUSBAND HAD ANOTHER FAMILY WHICH EVEEYONE KNEW AND RECOGNISED
ReplyDelete