Hmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
A LESSON LEARNT
I lost my boyfriend due to all these online advices. I was always calling him narcissist, fighting, expecting him to give when he already did but I wanted more.
I lost my boyfriend due to all these online advices. I was always calling him narcissist, fighting, expecting him to give when he already did but I wanted more.
I wanted to be independent but feminine as those coaches said but I was stressing him. If he did not call I would get upset even though he was truly busy and I knew.
He did so much for me and valued me but I kept insulting him and bringing up past offences of his until he got tired and stopped texting me, picking my calls etc.
After months, yeah I was that foolish, I realized that he truly loved me but I didn't contact him. I worked on myself, got busy, had my financial stability like he had and started taking more care of myself so I could post pictures on my WhatsApp.
Finally he called asking me why I did not reach him. Long story short I apologized for my behaviour, he apologized for his and now we are getting married on my birthday.
Ladies beware of external advice.
Only you know your man. There is no textbook on how to handle every single relationship. Stop following those so called woke ladies.
Either they are single or miserable in their relationship or marriage. All they care is making money off of you while painting a fake picture of a glamorous and happy life.
Don't be fooled. They are suffering and smiling because they have an image to portray.
Well thank you for the advice, at least you are lucky that you got him back, some dont and become bitter...
Well thank you for the advice, at least you are lucky that you got him back, some dont and become bitter...
Ladies sebi una don hear? Only you know your man!!!
I learnt this late ⏰ Congratulations to you
ReplyDeletePoster you are the narcissistic one. And it seems he had no one to advise him. He had no business going back to an ill-mannered woman.
DeleteNa you know whose advice you were taking at the time- e no go pass amotekun babes or low budget slay queens. Kmt
Exactly anonymous. She's the narcissist in the relationship. Narcissist and classy, words over used for wrong reasons. 🙄🙄🙄
Delete16:37, but that’s the whole point of this chronicle na, she admitted that she was the bad one, she further admitted that she was taking advice from women that were bad and miserable in their own relationships, so what are u on abt??
DeleteNdi feminist una don hear?
ReplyDeleteIt’s the audacity of this poster to think that feminists online are suffering and smiling. You wish. I bet you tell that to yourself so you can feel better.
DeleteShocker: many people are actually happy in real life as on sm. The earlier you make peace with that the better for you. Life no be like nollywood film
While I thank you for you advise that's if this isn't written by a man to drive down a certain narrative. I still wonder how peoples opinion on social media affects and controls your personal life, its really disturbing. Please ladies especially you poster it is good to listen to podcast or what so ever but always filter what you assimilate before applying it to your personal life if not you might likely continue your earlier display in marriage. A matured adult knows right from wrong and should be able to make decisions after listening to multiple opinions/advise, people opinions or advise should not be be your final decision.
ReplyDeleteIt Sounds like it’s written in a man’s tone… but whatever
DeleteI'm the poster and I'm a woman. I wrote it in yesterday IHN and Stella posted it as chronicles. Thanks by the way Stella🙏🏽
DeleteU kuku sabi.
DeleteYup. It definitely reads like a man pretending to be a woman
DeleteWhen some advice are being hammered on daily, it has a way of getting into one of care is not taken. Mine was wife not cook. That saying nearly damaged things for me. I acted it out in my home, it also affected the love I have for cooking. Thank God sense came back early.
DeleteAnon, that you decided to disregard the advise doesn’t mean it’s bad. It means you know your husband is deficient there and it’s not a deal breaker for you. Some people cannot marry a man that can help out in the home and that’s ok. Just try and raise your kids to be better humans than you and your husband
Delete*cannot help out*
DeleteLol..true, thank God he came back..
ReplyDeleteAll men are not the same,marry your own in Ur own way let me marry mine..
What works for A may not work for B..
Stop comparing your husband with other men..
Congratulations on your wedding..
K.
ReplyDeleteFan Emmanuel
Na really k
DeleteNneka, na here dem go see you.
DeleteYou insult and bring up past offenses… Nne apart from online advice, you have traits of being toxic in you naturally deep down.
ReplyDeleteYes, and when I realized that I changed for the better.
DeleteLeave her na. So real feminists were advising her to collect and keep collecting like a beggar, stressing somebody’s son.
DeleteMadam change your ways oo. Change your ways you hear?
-Poster you are the narcissist .
Delete-You bring up past insults
-you no dey forgive
-you are mean. Zero pity
-you are greedy
-You never apologize even when you’re wrong
-you blame others for your actions
-you listen to what outsiders say
-you seek praise and validation from public
-nothing your partner does is good enough for you. You are steady taking from him
- you’re haughty.
Try and change…..
You go like pity your husband…
Poster work on your self confidence and self esteem
DeleteI don't quite agree with you poster. You got all the advices wrong. You called him a narcissist and he was giving and you kept asking for more. Did they also advice you to keep asking for more when he was giving? You knew he was busy and didn't call and you were getting upset why>?
ReplyDeleteYou are supposed to sieve the advice that relates with you and not take everything hook line and sinker.
Then you knew you were wrong why did you not apologize
Emotional Maturity is when you are able to take responsibility for the repercussions of your decision. Stop blaming people !
Zendaya
When they want to accept rubbish that’s how they talk
ReplyDeleteIt’s my fault. I’m the one that insulted him first before he hit me
I know he was busy for a week that’s why he didn’t call 😂
The last paragraph is for you.
DeleteNo be today. She herself don taste outside see say nobody wan deal with her bad character
DeleteYou all are turrible😂😂😂
DeleteSo the advice you got told you to insult him after he was doing so much for you? Who insults someone who is doing good to them? Only an ingrate and selfish person does that. You sound like the type who go looking for trouble where there is none, you also sound like you have a princess complex, someone must cater to your every whim and put 100% attention on you at all times and fill your insatiable greed. Unless you fix your flaws and all that ugliness at the core they will show up again in your marriage. Sometimes the fix we think we have done is completely superficial and the ugliness is still there. A true fix requires a complete excavation and turning over of those parts of us and ripping them out. Good luck
ReplyDeleteI know the deep self improvement I made when I realized how toxic I was because I was following wrong advices coupled with my personal trauma and fears. I prayed, went to a therapist, deleted all social media, fasted and asked God to make me a PROVERB 31 woman. I didn't even think I and my future husband would come back together not to talk of getting married but I guess he did a lot of inner work too and here we are engaged and about to get married. We both apologized to each other for our shortcomings, he is not perfect and I'm not but we love each other. I just pray that instead of criticizing me we all learn not to compare any part of our life with others and to take any online or real life advice with a pinch of salt. Only you know your man/ woman. Pray, be of good character and the man/woman must do the same too. I know marriage is not easy. I know there will be ups and down but we've survived many storms together and I pray that God blesses my marriage.
DeleteAmen. Nne I wish you happiness. Let God take control. Congratulations too
DeletePlease stop aspiring to be a Proverbs 31 woman, just aspire to be the best version of yourself and have that version show up all the time., aspire for wisdom, discernment and a tongue of goodness. That Proverbs 31 woman don’t know rest, she is a workhorse from dawn until dusk, even while her family is sleeping she is working. Don’t start it if you can’t finish it, but if you have stamina and sure to have it all your days and stress can’t bother you, then go and quest for Proverbs 31.
DeleteGlad to learn you recognized the toxic person you were and did the work to fix yourself. I sincerely hope that your marriage grow from strength to strength through the years.
You for talk say you get bad character wey you fix. Why you come dey lead with feminists?. Shey Chimamanda Adichie asked you to be mean ? Or You know see how hardworking Beyoncé is to emulate?. You found people that were saying what you wanted to hear and you listened to them. Coming on here to throw blame or insinuate people on sm are unhappy is actually hilarious and reeks of suffering mentality on your own part
DeleteWe are glad that you worked on yourself
ReplyDeletePoster why are you writing like a Tata. So you just went headlong with all the advices that common sense should have told you they are wrong. Why do I think a man wrote this. Poster if this ever happened please hide your self In shame. Better learn maturity before venturing into this marriage. Good luck because you would need it
ReplyDeleteThank God you got him back.
ReplyDeleteKeep working on yourself.
I was born 51 years ago. I'm now a mother of grown up children. During my childhood women were not this bitter. When my two daughters read certain things online, they call and ask my opinion. I usually tell them that God created the different genders, he made them to compliment or complete each other not compete
ReplyDeleteI don't want my daughters to rival, compete or bitterly attack men. A peaceful life is the best life
I hope you don’t advise them to raise and mother their husbands. Cos this statement get as e be o
DeleteWomen were bitter 51 years ago
DeletePls open your eyes
Women were more bitter years ago. They just concealed it and suffered in silence, that's why some women use omugwo as escape in their later years.
DeleteCoddling men
DeleteIndulging foolishness
Carrying the entire marriage on your back as a woman alone
ARE ALL WRONG
Thanks for sharing and you said nothing but the truth. I smiled in joy when you said he reached out, sincerely repentant people deserve second chances. You had learnt your lesson and it was beautiful to see how you pointed the finger at yourself. Go and sin no more and happy married life in advance.
ReplyDeleteShe managed to point it at feminists lol. Feminists that preach having your own money as basic 101. She no learn that one. She was stressing the guy and called it feminism
DeleteAnon 18:25 where did I point fingers at feminists? Most of you must be sad and single or married and unhappy because I don't understand all this negativity. Something is triggering you, you should see a therapist. It will help you.
DeleteLmaooo. You haven’t changed at all. Na engagement still dey mellow you.
DeleteA leopard hardly changes its spots
ThankGod For You
ReplyDeleteCongratulations On Your upcoming Wedding...
Hello iya Boys
I love positivity like this. Congratulations
ReplyDeleteCongrats in getting your man back. I am happy you know these Amotekuns will only drive to whatever they acting in their lives. They ain't loyal.Remember they are faceless only you know what going on with your life. Now they pinning the Narcissist card on you. They forget words have meaning. It builds ideas in your mind.. You apologized and it solved the issue if na Amotekun he for be never apologize. Congrats once again
ReplyDeleteFrom your write up and comments here you still have bad character
ReplyDeleteYou’re just hiding it to marry
Congratulations .talk true you go knack another preek outside, your boyfriend go knack punna outside after rebounding una come back nice one lol
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean by online advices. Which of the online did you get the advice to treat a man that has been good to you in a bad manner? Where did you get the advice not to be appreciative of a good gesture. I hope you know you didn't get that advice from here?
ReplyDeleteThe narcissist is you. You are naturally greedy and an ingrate that's why you weren't able to differentiate between good advise and bad advice. You ended up taking the bad one. How can you not know when a person is being good to you?