RELATIONSHIP RULES
Hi Stella
Pls I want to know if I am wrong. I met Kunle on a dating site. Thankfully, our area is not far from each other..... we went on our first date in an eatery and it went well and I noticed Kunle usually chat me up anytime.
I told him I like chatting more than calling because I work in an office with large crowd. I only like receiving calls in the night and he said he prefers call when we went on date,,,
Kunle didn't ask me out directly he only talked about general things. I told Kunle to define the relationship, are we friends, sister and brother or lovers and he said that's why I can't progress from being friends with him to relationship with him if I can't start from being his friend.
I told him I can't entertain long calls if am not dating the person but for a friend I will,,,,
Kunle is right!!!....You start from bring friends and not jump into a relationship..You are desparate oh, ah ah.YOU ARE SO WRONG!!!
Someone you met on a dating app should be ready for relationship not friendship that he will use and chop you anyhow without any commitment.
ReplyDeleteFan Emmanuel
If u like someone u tell them,I like you,let start something gradually to see where it leads us.. define what u are to him, before he ask you if he ever asked you out in the nearest future..
ReplyDeleteNa wa. Talk, be comfortable with each other, become friends. What's this defining relationship rush. I hated that ish when dating. I prefer things flowing naturally. When E set, you go know. I never asked my wife out. Even she tells her friends, they are usually shocked. No need for unnecessary pressure.. That's for me Sha. That question can always come later
DeletePoster where are you rushing to?? Is it not from friendship that dating starts? Or which other ways do you want him to do it.?? He calls you and you go out on a date which is right.
ReplyDeleteAbi you want him to tell you I want to marry you immediately, that's what most girls want to hear.
Calm down and ride with him,you are just starting, definitely you will get there if it's meant to be.
Fow how long have you guys known each other? Do you hang out constantly and consistently?
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen what the guy has done wrong if your friendship is still fresh and he is very receptive in his communication with you.. he is just taking his time to get to know you well. He seems like an intentional man , but with the way you are moving he may lose interest and keep it moving. You want him to ask you out without knowing if you are the kind of lady he truly wants right? then when he finds out later after jumping into a relationship with you that he doesn't gel with you and he decides to break up you will now be feeling bad. Not everybody likes gathering exes like medals. A lot of guys take their time as well before rushing into relationships. It is not all men that like self control or focus and just wants to date any body.
🔥🔥🔥
DeleteThanks a lot for this.
© TEEJAY
Nope she’s right
ReplyDeleteIf we meet on a dating site, we are not friends
We are getting to know each other on a dating level
Then if we decide to progress, we’ll become gf and bf but not friends
Friends first is usually a scam
It’s a real scam, which kind friendship on a dating site. Many are playing the field, talking to girls while in relationships or just unserious. Women, stop being a
Deleteplaceholder. There’s enough information nowadays for us to be wiser. Men are very intentional so sit up.
Your mind should be: If we’re not dating, move on so I can continue with my dating plans.
Tufiakwa this how most of you enter one chance
ReplyDeleteWhy can’t you take things slow where are you rushing to ? Why do you sound like you’re so much in a hurry tomorrow you’d send another chronicle instead of getting to know this person . Please chillax and explore friendship .
Sorry. The guy doesn't like you. If he was into you, it's him that will initiate everything..let him be
ReplyDeleteYou’re right. If he wanted to, he would.
DeleteDear Poster, I am an advocate of defining relationship but at this conjecture, you came on too strong and direct...You should have allowed the date be about knowing yourselves...
ReplyDeleteKunle is not wrong; good friends makes a good relationship. I know you both met on a good dating site; but you don't dive deep when you don't know the depth of the water....
Going forward, please relax and get to him better...See how far with him in the next 3 months..
All the best....
*At this juncture
Delete*Good friends make a good….
I think it should be friendship first before relationship. From the friendship period you will tick the boxes and then upgrade to the relationship status.
ReplyDeleteHe's definitely right on this. You're trying to rush him and this is one of the reason some guys will lie to you women and once they get what they want, they bounce.
Desperation is all over you. You should even be concerned for someone you met on a dating App.
© TEEJAY
© TEEJAY
Stella wrong again as usual. If he is not happy to say whether you are dating or not,lose him.
ReplyDeleteWhy did he not go to a friendship site? Dating sites are for dating period
Exactly. If he’s building a friendship then the poster should keep him as her friend and she should carry on looking for someone to date.
DeleteRobin, we are many who don't see life from your perspective. Many people believe in casual friendship first. You can state your stans without demeaning other people. It's very OK to have people who disagree with you. I am sure you are not mature enough to know this. What do you mean by "Stella wrong as usual" ? As usual how?
DeleteCalm Down Dear,
ReplyDeleteJust Be Friends With him
Mayben with Time He will Ask You Out..
Hello iya Boys
Poster stop rushing or forcing someone you just met to define what sef 😳 it makes you to look so desperate
ReplyDeleteHe might even come for cruising and you are talking marriage, follow him gradually
Use your head abeg.
If he is not interested in you, do you think he will be calling you or hanging out with you??. Abi don't you see it as a green light?., Don't always expect him to say more when he is already giving you a green light .From what he discuss with you when he calls, will show you whether he is serious or playing. Some of them guys don't know how to express their feelings. Slow down before you will use desperation and chase him away.
ReplyDeleteYes some guys do that
DeleteThey just need someone to talk to
Don’t be deceived by attention
I tire o
DeleteMust everything be spelt out in black and white? Read the non verbals and use your head.
It seems a lot of Nigerian females lack relationship sense
Start by being his friend first, then see where it leads to, in my own opinion and experiences, most guys that bring relationship talks within a short period of time are red flags.
ReplyDeleteJust be careful. If you are friends with him, let it be friendship. Don't open your leg or it will turn to friends with benefits and he will drag you along a long lonely road.
ReplyDeleteI don't always believe in 'marry your friend'. Most marriages that started with over familiarity does not always last. Rather , make your spouse your friend. Build friendship with your partner.
For now, pls keep on dating until you find your person. If a man wants you, he will be the one asking the right questions. If he is not, then he is indecisive.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
I don’t see anything wrong with the question the poster asked. They met on a dating site not a friendship site so which one is he’s getting to know her slowly. When it’s not like the Penpals we used to do those which clearly indicated ‘Pals’ .
ReplyDeleteIf what he’s offering is not what you want and you aren’t ready for any yeye friendship, pls free him.
Just go with the flow, don't rush things so far he's not asking for too much
ReplyDeleteYou made it sounds like you're so desperate for a relationship. You should have just flowed with the whole thing
ReplyDeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteTake it easy. However, don't let anyone use friendship to waste your time or use you in any way. It is not fair to go on a dating website looking for friendship that leads to relationship with ambiguity. However, relationship starts from somewhere and friendship was the beginning of many successful marriages. If your relationship is not defined from the beginning, especially if you have gone on many dates, he wants to communicate with you frequently, with gestures and actions that make you feel there has to be some clarity on what/who you are to each other, pay attention and be patient. If you want more and that is not his goal, perhaps it's time to evaluate what you need and what he needs, plus what you can offer each other.
This life we keep meeting wrong people. I am #team casual friendship first but I keep meeting people like this poster who would want us to start dating immediately.
ReplyDelete