STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFUSING SITUATION
Hello, dear blog readers.
14 years ago, I was dating a guy who dropped a bombshell on me one day: that he had gotten a woman pregnant and had no intentions of marrying her. Instead, he wanted to marry me. I was shocked and disgusted. I thought it was wrong to abandon a woman and her child, so I ended the relationship.
14 years ago, I was dating a guy who dropped a bombshell on me one day: that he had gotten a woman pregnant and had no intentions of marrying her. Instead, he wanted to marry me. I was shocked and disgusted. I thought it was wrong to abandon a woman and her child, so I ended the relationship.
He tried everything to win me back, but my mind was made up. Growing up in a polygamous home, I despised the idea of polygamy, and I couldn’t deal with the complexities of a "baby mama" situation.
Years went by, and he ended up impregnating the same woman again, only to leave her and marry someone else. We stayed in touch occasionally, and one day, I reached out to him because I was having accommodation issues. He sent me money to cover my rent, plus extra to help out.
After a decade of not seeing each other, he called and said he was on my street and wanted to meet. We hadn’t met in 10 years, but we still communicated now and then, so I agreed. Okafors law played out and I’m pregnant. He wants me to be his second wife. He plans to get a bigger place and furnish it for us.
I’m 34 years old, and I feel so ashamed of myself. He’s financially stable, but I feel trapped. What should I do now?
Years went by, and he ended up impregnating the same woman again, only to leave her and marry someone else. We stayed in touch occasionally, and one day, I reached out to him because I was having accommodation issues. He sent me money to cover my rent, plus extra to help out.
After a decade of not seeing each other, he called and said he was on my street and wanted to meet. We hadn’t met in 10 years, but we still communicated now and then, so I agreed. Okafors law played out and I’m pregnant. He wants me to be his second wife. He plans to get a bigger place and furnish it for us.
I’m 34 years old, and I feel so ashamed of myself. He’s financially stable, but I feel trapped. What should I do now?
LMAO!!!:
You didnt marry him because he was about to have a baby mama and now he is married and you are about to be his baby mama...My Dear you are even lucky he wants to marry you....#Please go ahead and marry him and i wish you all the best with the polygamous situation you will encounter...
And please whatever you do, dont hurt that baby...
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
ReplyDeleteWho am i to judge? Nne same polygamy you so much despised is what you plainly walked into saying that Okafor law played out.
Lol, na Okafor law made you open your cookies for a serial cheat? and tomorrow same mkpi will pregnant another lady and you will be wailing.
Good luck to you Dears.
Cheers1
DOZZYBEST.
Anything that involves finance damn the consequences. I'm very sure you ran away at first because he his still a struggling young man. But now he his financially stable, suddenly you don't care what will happen. When we say stay clear of your ex, this is what we are talking about. The world is changing ladies, we now have almost equal opportunities, you can also make your money as a lady. To avoid stupid chronicles like this...
DeleteYoung Men, Just get moneyyyy, she ran away from him because of baby mama but now she is willing to be the third wife, because of what? moneyyyy. Leave them and all this supposed standards and concentrate on getting the funds. Once that's in place every other things will just align the way you want...
DeleteI have some questions.did you only have sex once before you became pregnant and did you have sex without protection with someone you haven’t seen in 10 years? Irresponsible is your middle name. You no even fear for your life, infection, hiv etc.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!
ReplyDeleteJust enjoy your second wife position in peace, I guess no man was coming forward and he is also financially comfortable.
You don't need to be confused, introduce him to your family and start your antenatals.
How does this okafor's law happens sef....
See the advantage of meeting in a public place.
ReplyDeletePoster really what should you do is what you are asking us? I was cheering you on, thinking you were smart enough not to fall bait only to be disappointed at the tail end of your writeup....
ReplyDeleteYou are desperate because you felt there was no better man out there and then you decided to go back to your 'vomit'.....So it had to be him to ask for accomodation funds ba....
See where your longer throat has landed you...Congratulations 3rd wife....Get ready because he will impregnant another woman soon....You think say you wise **in Asari Dokubo's voice**
Use your tongue to count your teeth....
All the best and wishing you a safe delivery.....
All I have to say is
Delete"CHAI" "Na wa"
Mao Akuh
@saint, the rent issue was 10 years ago. Also, you don't talk to a pregnant woman as you just did.
DeleteLmaooo. How do our people say it again?. You no dey chop horse meat, but you dey use teeth cut am divide for others.
ReplyDeleteThis one na generational curse..
ReplyDeleteLike this is exactly what you've been avoiding but ended up in..
U are pregnant already, don't kill an innocent child..
Nigerians. You’re always down, so I won’t type what I had in mind.
ReplyDeleteJust join the harem. His wife is an understanding wife lol. Make una know say wife number 3 still dey come. Don’t delude your self thinking you’ll be the last wife
Ur chronicle poster is wife number 3 na, he is married, he has a babymama with 2 kids, the one because of whom the OP left the guy, then the poster that is now pregnant
DeleteBut she’s wife number 3 na. This kind of man who sleeps with anything and anyone, after impregnating that First Lady two times, she’s as good as his first wife cos I’m sure they will still be sleeping together when he goes to see the kids or just ‘when he’s on her street’.
DeleteOmoale
ReplyDeleteThis Situation right here is indeed an Irony.
ReplyDeleteLike How naaaa?
You slept with a married man. Lol.
ReplyDeleteLatter they will say there is nothing wrong in being friends with your ex.
Like..... Very disgusting attitude.
DeleteYou have no business with being close friends with your ex, especially the married ones.
She had a principle of avoiding polygamy, but because she wanted to eat her cake and have it, she fell into a situationship.
There were certainly a whole lot of people she could have gone to for help, but she chose her ex, the act was deliberate, but you weren't expecting the consequences.
You don't taste what you hate. At 34 you should know better. The deed has been done. It's either you choose between being a baby mama or 2nd wife
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing like okafors law here
ReplyDeleteYou slept with a married man and got your self preggy chai
This has to be a generational curse cuz I can't believe what you did to yourself
It's well. You were destinated to be the second wife. Age is not on your side. There are so many second wife that are happy. Cheers
ReplyDeleteSee your mouth like okafor's law and you didn't bother to use protection during the time of megbswegbe.
ReplyDeleteWhy do you've to be collecting things from your married ex.
And why should you even date someone for a whole 10 years.
His money is entering your eyes.
Welcome to polygamy .
WTF did i just read?
ReplyDeleteI bet if he wasn’t “financially stable” you won’t open legs for him.
ReplyDeleteYou’re already using the term “us” so go ahead and bask in your polygamy bliss.
Na wa if you really despise polygamous home as you claim, you wouldn't even have intercourse with him talk less if getting pregnant but because he is now financially ok and you want a soft place, you decided to get pregnant for him and want to marry him. Go ahead but be ready for serious battle as you already knew that polygamous home is not easy at all.
ReplyDeleteI don’t believe this story you carefully crafted to make u seem innocent. You are nothing but a home wrecker!
ReplyDeleteWhat a world? 🤔🤔🤔
ReplyDeletePoster why are you asking us what to do when you are already pregnant? Just take your 3rd wife title in peace and leave us alone.. Nonsense 😏
ReplyDeleteHaaaaaa destiny can't be swarved, spirit of polygamy still located you....... Being 2nd wife or baby mama o, no difference though. Just be prepared to live life to fullest
ReplyDeleteSecond wife no, baby is okay,pls don't abort the baby!and thank God he's financially stable.
ReplyDeleteSo for 14yrs you never developed yourself to reach financial freedom and was still hanging on to this ex ? Your life really remained stagnant which’s pathetic! Then you went ahead to have sex with a married man ? Unprotected sex ? And you’re here asking jamb questions?
ReplyDeleteMy fren getat !😂😂😂
Chaii e no get meter ooo, o sister it is well
ReplyDeleteThis is dicey..at this point. The ball is truly in your court. Now you're automatically the 3rd wife.
ReplyDeleteSidenote: this is what most people confuse as generational curse. The polygamy you were running from is what you're about to get into and this is your doing. If we are trying to run away from something or a pattern, we have to consciously and prayerfully try to deter it from repeating itself in our lives.
Making mistakes and missteps will always be part of the human journey. I cannot tell you what to do, you know best your life and condition. Your values made you not to want to continue a relationship with him because of how he was and yet those same values could not protect you from sleeping with a married man. I wonder if you were a judgmental person in the past and this is your humble pie.
ReplyDeleteIf the offer he is giving you is better than all other possibilities then perhaps it is best to take it. Have you spoken to God for direction? Whatever choice you decide to make, I wish you a good and safe pregnancy and a bright future. Do not become complacent and dependent on him completely. Try to improve yourself financially and in your career. If you accept to be his wife then be his wife and respect his first wife, don't go about being a busybody or troublemaker. Let her live in peace as you would hope to live in peace.
A very good advice here.
DeleteThank you for being kind.
Meanwhile, I think women should learn to know those who love them genuinely. It can be smelled if you are sensitive enough. The guy loved her and she knew it but she over-rated herself when she was younger.
Please single ladies in the house should learn from this.
Married women too that easily threatens to pack out if their husband cheats, take a cue from this, most of you will eventually cheat with other women's husbands and you may be disgraced if caught.
Manage your situation and keep your home.
There is time for everything.
No 17:02, if you have decided to stay with a cheating spouse that goes around impregnating women, it is ur choice and we must respect it, but please do not go around telling other women that have also made the choice to pack out when their men cheat to take a cue from this one. I’m sorry to say, this poster is not the standard of what women should do with their life. There are women that have standards, we’d rather take a cue from them.
DeleteI guess you have lost hope on yourself of finding a man of your own at 34. You might feel d world has ended on you. Too bad you went back to lick your vomit.
ReplyDeleteKnow that the wife won't spare you. (If she's not a Muslim). Aside that , you are about to cause commotion in a home and probably scatter it.
If you were to be in d wife's shows or her sister, how will you feel? Would you come here seeking a confirmation to marry him because you're 34?
No excuse you make is good enough. Leave the married man alone and wait for yours.
That man must really be laughing at you behind your back.
See what you have reduced yourself to.
No vex ooo. Nah you ask for advice and I decided not to pet d situation
Nawaoo, stay off your Ex we won't listen. The polygamous home you dreaded is right before you and at this juncture the ball is in your court. But ma, whatever you do as Stella said ''do not hurt that child''
ReplyDeleteLol..
ReplyDelete10 years ago Baba no get funds..
But today, Baba is financially stable..
Na Una way sha 🤣
Talk am as e be, no dey whine yourself
Oftentimes, people are in haste to make decisions when faced with challenges instead of them realizing it's a phase which at that particular time God is either passing a message to them or needed their lives as an instrument for the manifestation of his miracles.
ReplyDeletePoster, you have already complicated this situation by getting pregnant. Well, it's a choice you have made and I hope you are physically, mentally and spiritually ready for the battle ahead.
Your first paragraph is very apt. May we always find the grace to pass the tests of life
DeleteThat man go portable you
ReplyDeleteNo other man found you worthy after 14 years
If na me shame go finish me
I'm speechless. What you ran away from 10 years ago has returned to toy with you better.
ReplyDeleteIf you had married him ten years ago, your child would be ten years old today.
He impregnated the same girl twice; I'm sure his wife has children, and with you, the guy is a serial baby daddy. There might be more baby mamas.
We shall be keenly waiting for the Chronicles UPDATE.
Although this situationship could have been avoided but you carelessly allowed it. Brace yourself up and face the challenges head on.
ReplyDeleteGood luck n safe delivery
It’s hard to believe Some chronicles because I just can’t believe that there are some human beings who do not take themselves seriously like this.
ReplyDeleteSo after all the shakara, shame allowed you to sit down and plan with him how to rent a bigger house for ‘us’. This is more than a decade after you spewed your sanctimonious drivel of not wanting a polygamous home to him?
Like this now, do you think this man will take anything you say serious now? You Dey 4k up walahi!
What exactly do you want people to advise because you are way past the stage of receiving advice. this was supposed to be an easy matter, just stay away from your ex,…but as e be now, na you know wetin you don do yourself,
I'm sure you were dating someone who is not well financially ok before you saw him after 10years.You open legs for him..Na pussy you be ooo..
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you were dating someone who is not well financially ok before you saw him after 10years.You open legs for him..Na pussy you be ooo..
ReplyDeleteThis is just so messed up..you're already 34. No need to remove the pregnancy. Just keep it
ReplyDeleteOkafor law don suffer
ReplyDeleteSince I sympathise with your situation and cannot tell your story better than you, nor could I say I had been faced with a similar dilemma in the past, your post just didn’t quite add up. It's obvious some interesting aspects of your experience were missing, and that I understand. If not for any reason being this transparent takes courage. The disgust you feel and the reality before you seem to have overwhelmed you. As disgraceful as this embarrassment is, it has kept you stuck in this extremely emotional circumstance. But let me remind you that this moment does not have to dictate your future, and shame does not define you - nor should it define anyone.
ReplyDeleteYou decided to leave this man years ago because his behaviour went against your morals. Now, you find yourself at a self-inflicted crossroads, in bed with the same death that once scared you, facing polygamy, a child on the way, and a man offering financial stability. Perhaps morals got blindsided by this stability? After all, stability is beautiful in every sense of it. And like the child who is focused on having a bite of the melting cake but forgets the messy fingers and stained mouth, it will leave behind, stability can be addictive too. That brings me to the question of 'what do you genuinely want?' Are you compromising your peace and principles out of fear, convenience, or both? Oh yes, convenience is always attractive - the 10 years in between says it all.
It's difficult to share affection, attention, and loyalty when you're polygamous. Can you endure this for a long time without getting angry? Or becoming vindictive? Or would you feel more at peace if you left and concentrated on raising your child and creating a life that matched your values? Here, you still have control. One alternative is co-parenting. So is bringing up this child by yourself - I forgot, financial stability is important! But so is emotional and spiritual fulfilment.
You are still worthy and you are not stranded. Give it some thought. You are strong; therefore, have faith in that. You can live with your decision, knowing that you have honoured your truth, even though it will have an impact on your future, whether you admit it or not. You still have control over what occurs next in your story. And how you decide to write these next chapters are important. Whatever your choice, don't lose sight of the innocent child who didn’t ask for the ship you sailed with - Okafor was just an excuse.