FUSSY COMPLAINING MOTHER
My mother complains about everything, she complains about meals I cook(it's either she says seasoning is not enough or it is too much)
she complains about my colour(she is light skinned while I am dark)
she complains about the rashes on my face(it's because she is stressing me)
She complains about my size(I am a shapey plus size)
she complains about my job(I am a teacher)
she complains about my clothes too(she keeps saying I buy cheap fabrics with colors that are not appealing to the eyes)etc.
Nothing is ever good enough for her, her complaints are beginning to mess with my confidence and I have panic attacks whenever she is coming around because there must be complaints about one thing or the other from her(we don't stay together but she comes to my base once or twice in a month for some transactions and projects).
She is also the queen of silent treatment and attitude if she doesn't get what she wants e.g when she starts complaining and I fire back, she starts the silent treatment immediately or if I wear a dress and she complains about the color and I refuse to change it, she starts giving me attitude.
She wants to move to my base fully and she wants me to get a bigger space for us so we can live together pending when the project ends. I don't want this at all and I don't know what to do/say to discourage her. I want everyone to live in their different space when she moves here, I'll be visiting her twice or thrice in a week.
How do I go about this please´?
Who will pay for the bigger place? Just tell her the truth, she is your mum...Sit her down and tell her how her behaiour of complaining has damaged you and made you resent being close to her...Tell her that cos of this you cant stay with her cos she gives you panic attacks.....Tell her the truth and still refuse to let her movie in with you........
She may not mean it as bad as you have explained and it may be that her mode of delivery is wrong...You can start complaining about everything she does and she will avoid being anywhere around you....
You self no try for allowing someone to give you panic attack.
ReplyDeleteSpell it bodly to her face that you can no longer keep up with the pretense of displeasing yourself to please her.
Rubbish!
DOZZYBEST.
Maybe you should open a provision store for her to keep her busy
Delete😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣abi! Provision store in front of her house, at her base
DeletePoster your mom is manipulative in nature....Don't give in to her demands concerning moving to a bigger place......She is better loved from afar since it is obviously affecting your mental health......
ReplyDeleteKeep honoring her and if you give her monthly pocket money, continue to do so.....Why she wants to move in is to keep draining your energy and your emotions (reactions) are the supplies she needs.....
Be neutral around her, don't argue or engage in any exchange of words, be a lady of few words or give no response and continue to remain calm - Because that is the power you have & it keeps you in control of the situation....
All the best
How old are you?
ReplyDeleteTalk to her and forget about her reactions, she will come around, it just emotional blackmail.. Tell her if she doesn't stop, u will run away and she won't see u for years 🤣
Are you her only child? Was she the one that raise you or someone else?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, just tell her the truth.
Tell her that you would have loved both of you to live together but you don't feel like she loves you and it makes you sad.
My dear some mothers are like that oo, wetin person go do nah you won't throw her away nah just sit her down just like Mami Stella said the sitting down may even cause more trouble sef I understand but just try talk to her first then never allow her to stay with you it will cause more quarrel o and don't agree that you have money to pay for large space, the best thing is to give her space.But I must tell you keep loving and provides for her as much as you can ok she is your mother forever , God will see you through soon Cheers 😘
ReplyDeleteGood one Stella
ReplyDeleteTell her bring money for the new place. Get a place only for her. Simple
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWhere did you see mother in law now
DeleteNa her mama o.
Delete😳😳😳go back and read it again..
DeleteBlogbrity where did you see mother in law pls ?
DeleteAbi my eye dey pain me.
Please the poster did not say mother in-law. she is her mother. Please you can go back and read
DeleteMake una vex,I no dey with my eyes glasses 😍😍😍
DeleteYou need to talk to her about how her action is affecting you and if she doesn't change, stay away from her for a while, maybe try putting up with a friend. I'm hoping that would make her realise how much she's hurting you..
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, i really hope you do something for yourself that makes you happy...sorry for how this is making your feel.
My friend did this one day when she can't cope with her mum she told her that is returning to orphanage where she is adopted like she asked the mum who ll not be happy with their child .
ReplyDeletePoster it's like this from afar pls don't consider that living together she ll choke you to death
@Poster express yourself to her respectfully and politely, and hope she understands and changes. Don't forget to tell her that her presence is beginning to give you panic attacks.
ReplyDeletePlease try all you can to avoid staying together. It will get worst if that should happen. Visiting is fine.
ReplyDeletePele Dear, Me I just feel mama wants the best for you but she does not know how to go about it...
ReplyDeleteJust put her in your prayers sure she will change..
God bless you and Stay blessed ..
Hello iya Boys
Whatever you do, do not live in the same house with her.
ReplyDeleteStill honor her as your mum but you might need to limit how you guys chitchat if you guys do that, see finish has entered so ensure you don't speak much when with her and avoid arguments or confrontation
Honor your father and your mother so that your days may be long
ReplyDeleteIn all the advice you get HONOR her
Never disrespect her
While talking to her take it to God in prayer
God heal you and convict her
So she sees her error and stops it
Kpele dear
Because someone is a parent does not mean they are without flaws or toxic personality traits. Just tell her that you value your independence and want to continue living on your own to understand life better and yourself in the world. When you have the courage and strength to, you can do exactly as Stella says, tell her to her face that her ways are unhealthy and you cannot live with her.
ReplyDeleteIf she insists on you living together then show her a religious verse form your religion which shows that children should move on from parents.
Poster that's some mother's for you. in an attempt to sound corrective they do not know they are damaging the child in the process.Just ignore her for now and see how things turn out
ReplyDeleteIf this chronicle was coming from your sister in-law, you’d probably think she’s disrespectful but see, you can’t even live with this woman, and she’s your own mother, now I imagine her as a mother in-law and I pity the daughter in-law.
ReplyDeleteA lot of y’all know your moms are full of shit yet you bring someone into the family to be disrespected and verbally abused by someone who is supposed to be a mother.
Poster, tell your mom the truth because if an outsider says it before you, she might not believe. Your mom is probably still like this because no one has ever called her out
Anon 15:49
DeleteYour mom is full of shit
Respect yourself on this app
Stop insulting people’s parents
She is toxic !
DeleteDear poster, talk to your mum about how are action is affecting you, tell her how feel in a respectful way.
ReplyDeleteTell her the truth. Also ask her who will pay for the house? Open up to her and you can equally tell her to buy cloths for you since she's your mum
ReplyDeleteMao Akuh
Please let her know how you feel and how the things she has been doing has been making you stay away which is why you both can't stay together to avoid issues. I hope this will make her change for good.
ReplyDeleteAs a parent, she can correct in love and not discredit you all the time. It's not nice.