COMPLICATED SITUATION
Ella and I were friends in secondary school. We got admissionion into the same University far from home.
In our 3rd year, the president of our local government association in school called me and asked me to contest for the position of vice president of the association as the incumbent is going out. I refused the offer because I am naturally a shy person. I spoke to my friend Ella about it and she saw reasons with me. Few days later, the president called to say Ella has indicated interest in the position but he still prefers me.
Note, Ella did not tell me she was going to contest. I still told the president my position (No). He said he has already bought the form for me and dropped the phone. Ella started underground campaign without telling me. I saw her poster one day somewhere and asked her, she said I should not mind our outgoing president, he is forcing her into the race.
I told her it's not a bad thing if she is interested, I promised to help her campaign as we already have someone in the race. In her words.. ''babe I am not interested , I don't have that time''
I did not print any poster but told people in the association my intention to run for the VP. I also posted my picture and intentions on the association WhatsApp group
On the election day, I won Ella and our friendship never remained the same.
I did not print any poster but told people in the association my intention to run for the VP. I also posted my picture and intentions on the association WhatsApp group
On the election day, I won Ella and our friendship never remained the same.
She stopped attending our association meeting till we graduated. Fast forward to four years later, her elder brother proposed to my younger sister and Ella vowed her brother will never marry my sister.
She called my family traitors and all sorts of names. Her mum is supporting her. My sister is torn and needs my guidance. Please I am seeking your advice on how to navigate this situation.
Thank you.
Ah this one is really tough!!!... Why did you let your sister date her brother to the point of Marriage? did you think she would agree? I dont care the story you narrated up there, you both are traitors to each other......Why didnt you also inform her? You didnt win her, hte President favoured you and gave you the post please.
Whatever you try to do now wont work, dont let your sister marry into that family cos she will see shege!.
I dont know what to tell you at all....
Tell your sister to run away from that guy and his family. Hold her ears. I know she may not listen but tomorrow you will surely tell her I WARNED YOU
ReplyDeleteFan Emmanuel
Both you and your friend Ella deceived yourselves. Tell your sister to abort mission, except she's ready to face whatever shege she sees in that marriage. BTW, is she aware of the story you just told us? If not, let her read this post.
DeleteAbeg leave the sister out of your childish troubles
DeleteLet her marry the guy
Abi do you want him and you’re not saying again
The president or vice president you guys want to kill yourselves for is it vice president of Nigeria or the rubbish school own that has been forgotten when u guys graduated?
DeleteKai! People get serious problems for this life oh!
@Nk, am surprised too o. Something that happened back in school, you both offended each other & like Stella said the President helped you win & your friend knows. Abi you think say na you win by yourself? Both of you were wrong & should have apologized to each other since...now it's haunting your families.
DeleteI don't see a big deal here if they both love each other, you can call your friend & do the apologies as the peaceful one. My fear now is the mother supporting your friend, only God knows stories they have fed her. Pls tread softly.
Wahala wear bone straight. If the brother is truly a man, he will stand for your sister which is his wife to be regardless of age. Since her mother is supporting her, tell your sister to go pray and ask God to send her a new partner.
ReplyDeleteDo not even think about apologizing to Ella.
ReplyDeleteJust let the whole thing play out on it’s own. What will be will be.
I do not like “friends” like Ella, they are dangerous and poisonous.
Veey poisonous
DeleteN envy dey do Ella just stay clear of her and her family. She is treacherous
DeleteExactly,slutty,me I disagree with Stella about both friends being traitors BCOS Ella is d one with d problem.abeg tell Ur sis to run away from dat family abeg.Ella is dangerous biko.
Delete@ Lyric, I don't see what the Poster did wrong from this story, it seems the president wanted her, Ella was jealous and wanted to outshine her but it didn't work out, so the friendship collapsed.
DeleteAs for the sister, it's depends on the type of person the fiancé is, if he is a type that can hold his ground, let him go ahead and marry her and protect his home from Ella and his mother but if not, make she waka abeg.
Wahala
ReplyDeletePro max!
DeleteNo be small wahala ooo
DeleteSee the way Ella carry her hatred to your Sister
This one mama Ella come out mouth again..
My dear avoid any avoidable ooo..
Hello iya boys
I don’t know what business you have with her now. If a man loves a woman, he stands by her no matter what. If he truly loves ur sister, this is a non issue, he would handle his sister and convince his mom that whatever issues u had wt his own sister is not their business. Remember, sons always have a way wt their mom, he can convince her, except ofcourse he doesn’t love ur sis like that or he is not man enough, in that case, tell her to abort mission.
ReplyDeleteWhat is Ella's brother saying about the all thing? I'm sure he's aware that his sister doesn't want him to marry your sister and he knows why? Is he still interested? It depends on him and your sister.
ReplyDeleteIf this story truly happened the way you narrated it, then, I'd say Ella is a very jealous person. She's envious!
The lovers have the final say if they want to be together against all odds.
The family go show your sister pepper Sha, since the mother is also involved.
This is a messed up situation. Even after 4years she's still mad at you.
ReplyDeleteDid you try to make amends or is there more that you aren't telling?
Whatever the case is, please tell your sister to forget about the marriage with Ella's brother. Imagine her prospective inlaws attitude towards her now that she's yet to marry their brother.
Enemies disguising as friends. Be thanking God everyday her true intentions were revealed the year it did. Imagine doing life with someone that bitter. It would ve been worse.
ReplyDeleteYour ex friend and her mom are not in support of your sisters marriage to their son and brother. That marriage hmmmm. The years of bitterness and resentment will be transferred to your Sis. The decision is hers to make but tell her everything that's happened years ago.
Bitterness eh.. Very bad.
How can you allow your brother to be married into such family full of traitors and wickedness?
ReplyDeleteE be like say he no wan last.
Nawaoooooo.
DOZZYBEST.
Have you tried dialogue and possibly apologies with Ella? If that won't work your sis is going to be hit with not so stray bullets ooo.Marriage is a lifetime.
ReplyDeleteSimple..
DeleteWhat did u do after winning?
Both of u were never friends but u should see her and talk things out.. Let ur sister leave that relationship..
You think people like Ella will ever forgive from their heart? Please there is no need asking for her forgiveness because she will never forgive her genuinely even though she (Ella ) is the one who is at fault.
DeleteHey na wa oh... wetin happen for school una bring am inside making life decisions...Both of you betrayed each other plus giving confusing vibes.
ReplyDeleteWhich kin friendship una get...so much unforgiveness because of school elections.
Abeg let your sister see reasons that the families cannot be together.
All the best
You were asked to contest, you said no, but still told prople about your intention to run. Ella on the other hand contested for it, but lied about it, and you still remained friends. You should have cut all ties with her. If you sister marries into that family, Ella will make her life hell, if she is not a strong person.
ReplyDeleteBoth of you betrayed each other. Position that you initially declined, you decided to jump on it coz your friend decided to run. Two chameleons.
ReplyDeleteWomen and competition against each other🤦🏾♀️
DeleteLol
DeleteDon't mind her, she might not have even told us the truth here. you didn't want to join but you later campaign and won
DeleteFrom her narrative, it seems the president wanted her and convinced her to run, why didn't Ella tell her outrightly that she was interested in running? Why did she stop attending because the poster won? In my opinion, Ella is a jealous and competitive person.
DeleteYou weren't interested in the position, and you were upfront about it. You shared your reservations with your friend, and she 'understood'. I am sorry, she didn't understand a thing. Her readiness to understand your decision to reject the post hinged on the fact that she was already eager to clinch the position for herself; otherwise, she would have encouraged you to have a re-think.
ReplyDeleteYou were open about your fears, insecurities, doubts, etc. with her as a supposed friend, and you let her know you would turn down the position. If she was a good friend, she was meant to have opened up to you about her desire as well. The same way you opened up to her and at that very moment. That was her cue to say, "Okay then, Samantha, since you are not interested, can I contest? Or, can you tell the president to put up my name instead, when next you see him... can you put in a word for me?"...
I remember I once told a friend that I wasn't interested in a man asking me out and she told me, "Gaby, if you don't want him, please I do. He is cute and I am very single. Can you introduce us?"
So why couldn't Ella have spoken up too?
Others may say, "Maybe she was scared, and she didn't know how you would have reacted, so she went behind your back." That she knew you were still going to figure out her plans in the end yet kept it from you, says a lot about how disingenious and sly she is.
I don't blame you for not telling her afterwards, that you have changed your mind. After all, your intentions were bare for all to see in the WhatsApp group. She was a member, and she already saw it. Besides, she wasn't telling you things, so why continue to be transparent with her?
On the other hand, I believe you weren't interested but changed your mind when you saw she was running for VP as well.
If you hadn't seen your friend's posters everywhere, I wonder if your disinterest would have suddenly turned to interest overnight. You could say the president's insistence that you contest and the fact that he bought the form in your name, propelled you to pursue the position, but you can't deny that seeing your friend's determination coupled with the fact she secretly went behind your back, triggered something. It subtly encouraged you or aggravated you.
Your sister would do well to avoid your ex-friend and her family
My point exactly, I don't get it with people and competition. You openly didn't want a thing but you went all out to gets it because of your friends intentions
DeleteSee as you like 'talk', so tay your comment is triple the chronicle count. You lack simple courtesy of keeping your input brief.
DeleteAbi na novel you de write?
DeleteGaby , you are on point. Don't mind those anons
DeleteGaby! Your response na project work! All in all Ella is still angry because of all the benefits that were attached to the post. Let your sister make her decisions concerning her relationship. It has absolutely nothing to do with you!!!
DeletePoster you too no good. You probably changed your resounding NO up there to a treacherous yes becos your friend indicated her interest. See how you 2 she showing your true selves becos of local student politics. You 2 will kill people if it was Federal seats like Senate or even state like governor na. You are a couple of envious frenemies.
ReplyDeleteShould she have opened up to her friend the second time after all she did?
DeletePoster you didn't narrate this story very well, is it not obvious you both betrayed each other? Lol. Maybe it's the karma of una action be this o😁
ReplyDeleteTell your sister to abort mission asap because that family will never accept her no matter what.
It is a horrible thing for a WOMAN to marry into a family where she is not wanted. It is even easier for a man to marry into a family where he is not wanted or loved. It is far worse for a woman.
ReplyDeleteYou can marry into a home where you are not loved, but never marry into a family where you are ACTIVELY HATED!!!!! You will spend a greater part of the marriage fighting wars, visible and invisible, actual and imagined. You will be exhausted.
Your joy will never be full. Let your sister let go, if she can (if she has age on her side and other options), she should. If she cannot, she can continue, but let her know that the battle will not be easy, even time will not diminish the battle.
I know this from experience.
The way some families are sef you mean as you guys are close they don't ask after that your friend since it's from childhood and you didn't tell them some things in passing, for you to be close to her like that ,then your sister fated her brother to the point of marriage and you re not aware,abi the man just came as a suitor.
ReplyDeleteWell tell her it's nit possible since she has vowed her brother won't marry her it's as simple as that, cos premium she gets dey unless she wants to endure I told you or as long as you re happy slangs
It doesn't depend on you it depends on Ella brother whether he I man enough just tell your sister that it has nothing to do with you but her fiance and herself ;since it is in the past and it wasn't that you intentionally did it even though it is your right to contest,you sister should know you are not the problem
ReplyDeleteFrenemies both of you,with friends like you and Ella,who needs an enemy? Just tell your sister to find another man,to be forewarned is to be forearmed. Such deceitful people. 🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteAs in ehn... two envious people.
DeleteI like how you painted yourself a blameless in the whole narrative you posted up there. But still you still came off as an ass.
ReplyDeleteYou both played each other but yours was worse since you knew your victory was assured.
Your friendship wasn't worth more then that position so you kept malice with your friend until you graduated.
Now these little pettiness will likely cost your sister a chance at married life. Everything depends on the young man who wants to marry your sister.
This level of bad blood can't be good.
Poster.
ReplyDeleteI love the way you painted the picture to make it look like Ella betrayed you and you are a saint.
Sistur both of you fits each other. Traitors!!
As for ur sister. Tell her never to marry into a home that she is not welcomed.
It's not early to call it off. Broken engagement is better than a broken marriage. (Or how ever they use to say it sef).
As long as the in-laws are totally against it, your sister can never find peace in that family.pls advice her to let him go for her sanity sake or they will frustrate the hell out of her.
ReplyDeleteToxic friendship. Both families can't be trusted
ReplyDeleteWhat's the man saying in all of this? If he can stand up for his girl, your sister should not get married into that family.
ReplyDeleteThe enmity will last a life time ooo. Tell your sister to leave that guy.
ReplyDeleteEspecially since the mom is against I t too.
Except she wants to be fighting battles all her marital life.
Ladies do not marry into any home the family don't like you and are kicking against it.
Pray to God to clear that love from your eyes. This is Nigeria marriage is not just between
the couple alone, extended families are involved too.
The shege in it, hmmm. You don't know what it means to be surrounded by people who ha.te you. And nothing you do I s ever good enough. You will be constantly set up, turned against your husband, lie against, keep defaming you and doing all what not to scatter your marriage.
They will directly or indirectly fight your union.
To the extent the love will vanish because of too much wahala.
Your mental health and well being should be more important to you.
So long as the guy is independent of his sister the he is not depending on family for accommodation, upkeep, etc. if he is an established man that she can marry and not be at their mercy, if he loves her and she is mature and wise, let her marry him.
ReplyDeletePoster you are the traitor and not a good friend. You confided in your so called friend that you’re not interested in running for the position and she went ahead to run for it. Yes, she did wrong by not telling you she was interested in running but I believe she doesn’t see you as a friend as you see her and so she felt she owed you no information as to her interest. You saw she has invested money printing posters and knowing how much that cost for a student. You called her your friend and you also categorically told the president you’re not interested in the post. As a good friend you should have put in a good word for her to the president and stood your ground on not running for the position and also supported her all the way bu campaigning for her to win. Instead you went ahead to contest for the position and after you won and she stopped attending the meeting, did you reach out to her to make peace. No you did not cos you’re selfish and competitive. Now your sister has gotten a proposal from her brother, you want your family to enter hers after what you did to her. I wish you and your family good luck. Indeed what goes around comes around. Note: you are the bad friend. I don’t blame the girl for not wanting her brother to marry your sister.
ReplyDeleteBoth of you are traitors in my own opinion, you didn't want something and told your friend, but later contested for the post after your friend did, maybe your friend contested for the post because she thought you weren't interested, but didn't tell you because deep within her, she knew she supposed to encourage you and was feeling guilty, your friendship weren't genuine.
ReplyDeleteYou knew deeply that telling you she wasn't interested was just to cover face, you shouldn't have contested again after you knew she was also interested and had started the campaign.
As for your sister, if she's ready to face whatever comes out from the marriage, no wahala, but I will advise she should weigh her cons and pros very well before she enters, it's not good to marry into a family that don't like you especially as a woman.
That marriage is dead on arrival.
ReplyDeleteI feel bad that your friendship deteriorated to this level. You have no choice than to tell your sister to look elsewhere or leave in a toxic environment for the rest of her life
ReplyDeleteYes
ReplyDeleteAt this point it is the guys call ..
ReplyDeleteThe man who wants to marry your sister has a big role to play here. The marriage won't be easy but if her man is capable both in finance and being man enough. He can talk to his family and tell them his decision is final after all he is Ella's senior brother and not junior. It will only take years but then it's Ella that will be at loss because the relationship will not be there again especially if the man has his own personal house
ReplyDeleteNot be force. Let your sis front. If what you said were true, she will get hers.
ReplyDelete