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Sunday, December 10, 2023

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..

 Hmmmm...


STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
RIGHTS OF CHILDREN BORN OUT OF WEDLOCK

A Man got a woman pregnant and she gave birth to twins but Because of his family, the man didn’t marry the woman, he later married another woman that gave birth to four children. 
The woman he married told the twins that they were born them out of wedlock and they don’t have right both physical ,financial and spiritually in the mans house 
 ….The wife drove the children away from home and some people are saying that it is true that they are born out of wedlock……….
My SDK, I want to understand something...
*What are the advantage or disadvantage if a child that is born out of wedlock?
*what should they do, to have right both physically, legally and spiritually?
*what are the traditional rights that children born out of wedlock cannot do?
*what can they do?

Hmmmmm I really dont understand all these but being born out of wedlock is not a crime and a good man will accpet his children w
hether born or out and will do the right thing...... I dont whether the woman was right to say such to your twins but thats a wicked thing to say.......She may have felt threatened.
I dont know what rights these kids have, maybe someone else will explain better.

55 comments:

  1. If the father of the twins accept them as his, then the kids have everything right like the other kids from the look legitimate wife.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gbam, it all depends on how their father treats them, if he accepts them whole heatedly then they have all the right they need!

      Delete
    2. A lady had this same issue and she decided to go to court so her children can lay claim to inheritance only to discover that all properties, company registration etc was done in the name of the legal wife and her kids. Having kids out of wedlock has a lot of consequences especially if you are not even living with the man and is not known as his partner, it is a tough battle for many, people make it sound easy that kids born in and out of wedlock has the same rights but it is not always so, even if you win in court, are you going to change the tradition of a whole tribe or village if they say No, can Nigeria supreme court decide for the Northern muslims if they say their religion frowns at something or can you decide for the East if they are against it,can you arrest a whole village or live amongst them when you're not wanted. People get married for a reason and if you have kids out of wedlock,talk to the wife, kinsmen and the man and let them see reason with you, use the court when necessary but I would advise not to be too bothered about properties, if they gift your child one that's okay but dont force it because it's a tough battle. Such matters require patience, calmness, consistency and pleading in some cases.

      Delete
    3. 18:54
      A man can Will away his property subject to law. But he is responsible for all his children till they reach 21 years or till he dies before then. Wills begin to be applied only after the death of a person.

      All traditions contrary to a father being responsible for his children till 21 years cannot stand in court against the Nigerian Constitution.

      You are right that it is better to be conciliatory - patient, calm, consistent - in handling matters like these.

      But if the mother and her family cannot fend for the children, the mother needs to use the law. The children should not be treated as expendables by the wife of their father.

      A lot of evil gets done this side of the world because people are afraid of using the law. No tradition can stand against the Constitution and or a statutory law. This has been proven several times. All those archaic customary laws against female inheritance, woman to woman marriage, etc. have been repeatedly cancelled at the courts.

      Delete
  2. It’s all mind games
    She can say that and the twins can say first born na first born
    But all these is dependent on the man
    Na him supposed arrange him house

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  3. Out of wedlock or not, they are the man’s kids. If one of the twins is a boy, the law recognizes him as first son. Nor mind the man stupid wife.

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  4. Whether born in wedlock or out of wedlock, they have the same right as the other children, except of course, the man didn't claim responsibility over there

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  5. That woman is very insensitive and wrong to have treated them that way.

    Behind every child's maltreatment, there's a weak man standing by and complicit in the act.

    The husband is to be blamed. The woman have no right to chase them away if the man was a responsible or respectable husband.

    No woman can try that shit with me. Those kids are his biologically no two ways about it.

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  6. First of all, are they Nigerians? If your answer is yes it means that they are 100% entitled to their father's properties. How old are the twin ?
    If they are under 18 please read child right Act 2012 & if they are adults read VAPP Act 2015 for more understanding of their rights.
    The most complex B

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. De play 15.20.
      Where I come from, a child born out of wedlock belongs to the woman's family. Na now people de tear eye de claim child support.

      Delete
  7. It all rests on the man really. Before the 1999 constitution was adopted, children born out of wedlock had know legitimacy in Nigeria so he or she could not be regarded as a valid heir of the man unless the man explicitly acknowledged that the child is his or he goes ahead to formalize his relationship with the childs mum by marriage.

    The 1999 constitution however takes a different path. Once the father acknowledges that the child is his or the child can provide sufficient evidence that he or she is the child of the man, then that child fully qualifies for anything a child born in marriage qualifies for.

    The 1999 constitution equally recognises the rights of the legitimate and the illegitimate child. It further holds that no citizen of Nigeria should be denied his rights to property based on the circumstances of his birth.

    OP didn't mention if the man is still alive and what age are the kids? Get a lawyer and take the man and his estate to court. What the wife did has no basis in Nigerian law.

    In my side, culturally, the first son is the first son. There is nothing like legitimate or illegitimate. For us, a man doesn't need to marry a woman before her children can possess their rights to his property. At his death, everything is shared equally among all. The illegitimate child has his own say in his father's house and partakes in everything the legitimate children do.

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  8. I don't know what that means that they don't have rights physically, financially and/or spiritually.
    Thank God they have rights as humans sha.

    Meanwhile, where is the father in all this magana. What is his own view?
    Because he got married and they had 4 kids, that's why they are perceived that way. If they didn't have, the man will obviously know their value.

    Are you their mother or. Please take care of the twins.
    They are great blessings.
    All these tradition talks made by men

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  9. That woman was wrong for saying that to the children, why is the man silent about it cos he has the final say. Those children are innocent and should not suffer for anything.

    Men do well to protect your children weather born out of wedlock or inside wedlock.

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  10. The woman that did this is simply evil. Those children are innocent. The man must be weak for her to chase his children out of his house. When God has not rejected a person, who are you to reject anyone? People should fear God atleast nah. May doors open for those children. I was born out of wedlock and my father rejected me too lol. Thank God say God no be man. He rejected me but God nursed me and cleaned me up. At the end of the day I am even happy not to have a father in human form. Radarada as yoruba will say.

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  11. Make the woman give her children quality education and good exposure na them go carry the right to look for them 🤢

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  12. As long as thier father acknowledged them as his children and made it known to his family and kinsmen, they have all right.

    Also, it depends on the culture or tribe of the mother of the twins.
    Does your culture allow a baby daddy to claim children born by their daughter without custom rites? 🤷‍♀️ It does not have to be bride price.
    In Igbo land, the man can't claim the kids because igbos will accept their grandchildren and give them support both spiritual.

    So, your tribe and the baby daddy tribe will determine the answer.

    I would advise you to keep your children by your side and take care of them. It won't be long, you will eat the fruits of your labour. Don't let another woman direct the affairs of your children psychologically. Protect them.
    By the way, what is their father saying?

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  13. So long as the children are the man's, they have right to their father's home and property whether they were born out of wedlock or not. What is their Father's stance in all of this?

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  14. I'll come back to read comments. I'm a single mom myself and my son's father is not in his life. According to what I've heard of where I come from, any man that marries me can adopt my son as his or my brother can claim him as their brother That being said, if my boy wants to look for his father tomorrow, I'll give him all the support I can.

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  15. As for having rights, I don't know much about that

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  16. *What are the advantage or disadvantage if a child that is born out of wedlock?
    Depends on their mother's attitude to life issues

    *what should they do, to have right both physically, legally and spiritually?
    Spiritually - Seek God.

    Physically - Feed well, develop body by exercise, develop mind by reading and experiential learning.

    Legally - Their rights are Constitutionally guaranteed and protected.
    Section 46(2) of the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, 1999 (as amended) states that: "No citizen of Nigeria shall be subjected to any disability or deprivation merely by reason of the circumstances of his birth."

    The section entitles them to seek and get child support from their father. His wife cannot stop him from paying all fees for their care and upkeep till their age of majority.

    The section was also applied in the case of Nwariaku v. Salubi. Poster goggle it and read it. The Supreme Court held that children born out of wedlock have the same inheritance rights as the children born by the same man under a registry marriage.

    *what are the traditional rights that children born out of wedlock cannot do?
    This depends on the native and custom applicable in the father's family and the father's "village".

    But generally, under the native law and custom of most parts in southern Nigeria, once a father accepts paternity of a child, that child is a child in the extended family irrespective of what the man's wife says, and takes his or her place in the traditional levels of the family.

    The child is called to perform all traditional rites and to take related benefits. Unless there is a superior community law or custom that limits that child's rights and responsibility.

    So acceptance of paternity by the father is the key.

    Even some good families who know their son(s)' ways, disregard their sons' denial of paternity where there was opportunities for it and or are clear evidence of it.

    *what can they do?
    Seek help from a lawyer, FIDA, NGOs involved in family related matters, Human Rights Advocacy NGOs, Government Agencies or welfare departments of Ministries of Youths, Social Affairs, etc.

    Summary: The children have full rights all round as human beings.

    #TheLegalTrainee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well-done. You have stated the correct position as it is.

      Delete
  17. Where is the one who fathered these twins in all of this?
    It's his encouragement that is making his wife talk badly about the twins.
    In some cultures, payment of bride price makes children have claims to a man s name as well as family.

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  18. Children born out of wedlock don't have right because they are not recognise by family and the man don't have right to claim them because he didn't pay pride prize but they can go to,their father to ask for something depending on the bond between their father and mother..

    The man don't have right over the kids because he born them out of wedlock..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not true.

      Children born out of marriage have same rights as children born in marriage.

      If their mother claim them because no bride price was paid, and their father allow her to do so, good for the woman and her children. If the father refuses to leave the children for their mother, he has the full constitutional right to claim the children without paying any bride price.

      If the mother wants the father to be responsible for the children, she can go to court and the court will order the man to make financial provision and care for the children.

      That tribal custom that a child born by a woman without bride price payment belongs to the woman and or her family is unconstitutional. The day it is tested in court by a man claiming his children born without bride price payment, the custom WILL FALL and it will be officially CANCELLED BY THE COURT.

      In any case, this post is by or on behalf of a woman who wants her children to have legal and traditional rights in their father's house and family even though no bride price was paid by the man.

      Delete
  19. The man had better write a Will.

    A Will supersede whatever rules and entailment tradition provides.

    Even all those traditions that gives most assets to the first born or those that stimulates that only the female child inherit their mothers assist becomes void when there's a Will that states otherwise

    If the man like, make him carry everything give outsiders, so shall it be, and no tradition can interfere with the sharing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not completely so.
      The Wills Laws of some States make a Will subject to native law and custom.
      Under the Wills Law of Edo State for example, a Bini man cannot gift his Igiogbe by Will. Only the first son who has done the full traditional rites for the Bini man (his father) inherits the Igiogbe of his father. A gift of an Igiogbe to a second son is treated as void under the Wills law of Edo State as interpreted and settled by the Supreme Court of Nigeria as at today.

      Delete
    2. 16:28 pls we are taking of property

      Delete
    3. You're right.
      Nothing is absolute..
      Like all general rule, there are always few exceptions..

      The igiogbe rule was modeled to that of the Bini monarchy system from the reign of Oba Ewuakpe that it is the Oba's surviving eldest male child that will succeed his throne and also inherits his estate provided he had performed alone the customary funeral rites of his father. This became the custom of the Benins till date.

      Igiogbe means the house the man lived and died in and also possess their ancestral shrine.

      So the same way the Oba cannot Will the palace to any person is the same way the Igiogbe cannot be Willed..

      It's just an exception to the general rule I stated. Will solves a lot of problems

      Delete
    4. Dante,
      Correct. Thanks for the added information.

      16:50,
      Read Dante's comments together.

      Delete
  20. Is their dad Dead? If not I think he's in the best position to decide

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  21. Under Nigerian civil and custom's law, those children have all rights.

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  22. Their father himself, what is he saying or doing about it? Hope he is not the 'gbewu dani' type, if so, the twins are in for a long thing.

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  23. Under the constitution, they should be recognized but if they are Igbo, those children are believed to belong to their mother's father (i.e. their maternal grandfather) since their father did not pay their mother's bride price. They will need to go to court as the villagers will side with the married wife.

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  24. Everything depends on the man. His decision over the issue is final. Where I come from. If you did not pay a woman's bride price. You don't have legal right over those children except the woman decides to release the children to you. Moreso if a man who' did not marry your mother traditionally or legally refused to accept you as his child even though he is your biological father there is nothing you can do. The kins men can't accept you without his consent.
    Why worry over someone that does not care or accept you. You can answer your mum's sur name. Do traditional rites to be accepted legally in her family. Life goes on. . Huzzle hard, if you are successful tomorrow,, That man will look for you

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  25. Pls make you no dey talk about the man property before he disowns them

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  26. It depends where you are from. In my side, the child has no rights to his father properties, and the father doesn’t have any rights on the child if the bride price of the mum wasn’t paid. The father can gift anything secretly to the child but not mandatory. Such Children suffer the consequences of what wasn’t their fault.

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  27. Everything is in the man's hands, especially now that he's still alive.😎

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  28. Did the children go to visit their father when they got driven away? They have a right to visit their father in his home. They have a right to have a relationship with their father. And they have inheritance rights too, it is not through marriage children gets rights, it’s through DNA; however, the man has to write a will to ensure the twins are assured an inheritance, left up to his wife they would get nothing, not even recognition that they are his children. So, it his he the man who has to declare them publicly and ensure everyone knows they are his children and accepted 100% as his and write a will.

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  29. The man needs to put his house in order.so just because he didn't marry the other woman legally then the children should suffer? this is unfair.The children should sue him.he needs to make a will immediately.

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  30. Is the man not alive, he should accept his kids biko

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  31. Every child was made in God’s image so introduce them to Christ & they will be fine spiritually & in every way in Jesus Name. My own take, no offense is the seeming obsession with inheritance among our people. I don’t know who lives in my parents house, nor do I care at my age.

    Train them well, they will do very well. “ Bill Gates & many Rich People Who Won’t Leave Money to Their Kids”…..Zuckerberg, Warren Buffett etc and many lesser known rich people do not want to leave money for their children but for charities they care about. Btw didn’t some insinuate a musician couldn’t claim a child because he hadn’t paid bride price? Is the culture inconsistent across ethnic groups? Well the law in Nigeria is not. How do people feel calling themselves or their children heirs of a young man or woman, I don’t care if you are the legal spouse or not? I see that a lot on Naija SM. Well, many are living to 99 or more years old. Henry Kissinger the former US Secretary of State died a couple of weeks back at 100, Betty White of Golden girls fame at 99, Charles Spanger, Warren Buffet’s business patnerp died last week at 99 and these are the well known ones… a couple celebrated 81 years of marriage. Rosalyn Carter died at 96, her husband Jimmy is 98….

    Hopefully with financial help from their dad they get a good education, land good jobs and are even more successful than their parents like so many that the parents money becomes like nothing to them. Did you actually have such a conversation or you are just anxious & assuming? YouTube has all these Naija vlogs speculating about “heir” or not of even a 31 year old (which to me is creepy & wicked). Our own prayer should be that our children become much more successful than anyone in their generation in Jesus Name.
    Asking about will can make him uncomfortable & suspicious of your intentions so focus on raising successful children. The founder of Calendly (arguably the only $bil of naija origin with no mago mago or government contract, concession or looting) lost his dad to armed robbers at 12 years old in Lagos, they relocated to the US, his mom died shortly afterwards, but he founded a company that was $3bn as at 2020! Most Nigerians in Naija do not even know him. They know the goverment cronies & contractors, politicians families & friends who looted the country blind. With no dad since 12, he still became a $billionaire not a Naira billionaire! “Be anxious for nothing”.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you dear..
      A lot of Nigerians tie up their destinies to other people's actions and reactions.
      Just like yesterday's chronicle.

      If the man was broke ass, this poster for dey talk another storyline.

      Delete
  32. From this narrative a wise people will know that the man didn't accept those children and from the write up the man went and marry another woman and the wife now said those things which means the man didn't accept them so nothing could be done because if they are accepted by the man,the wife can't even try any nonsense not to talk of rejecting them,so the girlfriend should shown them who is their real father and let the father take up his responsibility but if it is the same man then the women not the children should fight for his children right by any available and legal means

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  33. I sincerely hope young women are learning from these stories on this blog. There are long term consequences to today’s actions. From BBL, bleaching (wait to see the remorse in 10-15 years) to the birthing out of wedlock (Baby mama) situation. Children suffer the consequences & at some point they will blame the mom not just the dad. I suspect this poster never had an actual conversation with the wife but is just anxious and rightly so about her children’s financial future. First my suspicion is the writer added “spiritually, physically” to divert attention from the real issue which is usually “finance” or money. Many are in church for deliverance from spiritual implications of where they were born so this writer isn’t asking about spiritual rights or physical which is innate via eating & breathing, merely living.

    Her concern is purely financial or inheritance. Having read chronicles for years, I notice the spin they put to elicit the desired response. The challenge is that many assume assets were acquired by the MAN so it’s for all his children. What if his wife was the owner of what she thinks her children ought to have rights to. Women cover up financially for their husbands more than many people realize. Assumptions cause more anxiety than reality. Train your children with their dad’s financial & emotional support & watch them succeed more than their parents.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Points well made. Action = Consequences.
      As actions have consequences for women, they do too for men.

      Where the wife owns the house and all, the man should come out to say so (what is hidden in this life?).
      Whether a man is living on his wife wealth or not, he has the duty to personally provide for his children till 21 years.

      A wealthy wife whose husband goes rogue should arrange her estate to benefit herself and her children. She should let the man sort his mess.

      It is not fair for wives (first legally married wife, second wife after divorce or death of first wife, polygamous wives, etc.) to drive away children of their husbands; and more so if the children were born before the marriage.

      I am a man.

      Delete
  34. Give them good education and love them, they will do well in life.

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  35. No one chooses how and where they should be born. It's not the kid's fault that they were born out of wedlock. They have rights in their father's house and should be recognized

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  36. Ma men dey cause family problem. Tie your 3rd leg una no fit.

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  37. Even if they are born out of wedlock, it is wickedness and witch craft for a woman to drive the husband's children away and not to at least have benefit from their biological father.

    ReplyDelete

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