STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
HOW TO EJECT AN UNWELCOME RELATIVE.
I need advise please.
My cousin came to Lagos for interview and ended up spending 2 weeks. Left and came back for another interview last week Saturday with more load. His mom who does not call often now calls with plenty prayers.
My anger is this....
1. I am not working tho hubby is but we have a toddler and my female cousin hlihing with us already - she is working.
2. It's only a 2 bedroom flat with a narrow balcony
3. The annoying boy got an offer through another cousin to start this week in Saki, oyo State on a salary or 30k but refused. When he has free Good, transport accommodation in Saki oo
4. He rather would stay here doing nothing watching tv and chatting waiting for uncertainty.
I have enough on my neck. Please how do i send this boy back to his parent's. I did not really mind until the job rejection which is annoying me seriously. He's just lazy lazy and lazy.
1. I am not working tho hubby is but we have a toddler and my female cousin hlihing with us already - she is working.
2. It's only a 2 bedroom flat with a narrow balcony
3. The annoying boy got an offer through another cousin to start this week in Saki, oyo State on a salary or 30k but refused. When he has free Good, transport accommodation in Saki oo
4. He rather would stay here doing nothing watching tv and chatting waiting for uncertainty.
I have enough on my neck. Please how do i send this boy back to his parent's. I did not really mind until the job rejection which is annoying me seriously. He's just lazy lazy and lazy.
Ah,I really dont know how you can pull this one off at all...
Hmmmm.....i am coming
ReplyDeleteI have seen cases like this one and it is annoying, I understand how you feel but have you taken time to ask him why he rejected the 30k job with all those benefits? You know it’s easy to judge people just by looking at them but ask him why and if his reasons aren’t good enough then give him an ultimatum. He is your cousin and it’s your house. Tell him how upsetting it was for you that he rejected the Saki job and let him know the number of days he has left to live pretty in your house. Call his Mum and also let her know else he’d end up staying longer that you’d want while inconveniencing you.
ReplyDeleteHe is not a baby either and he needs to understand that life is tough out there and the earlier he starts to hustle, the world wouldn’t wait for him. No one likes a liability even if you can afford to keep him, it is not not right for anyone who can work to live off anyone. He should get a job even if he still needs to put up at your place for sometime before he gets his own accommodation sorted.
According to him, it's a sales job that requires meeting target. Atleast give it a shot and when other opportunities cone pull out.
DeleteJust wake am up for the middle of the night and shout:
Delete"You are hereby ejected with immediate effect for laziness?"
Mpama.
Leave him na , just pray he finds a job soonest so e can leave .
ReplyDeleteEni lari o , kosi eni to mola!
If you feel he is lazy , just give him some chores to do am sure he won't refuse doing them , and if he does that's the best way to tell him to leave . abi . simple as ABC
Permit me to say this.
DeleteI live by that principle but some cases just annoys you. His friends told him to come to Lagos that they will connect him. It's over a month na not a single connect. They ended up telling him to send cvs everywhere. You practically moved to my house without discussing with me. It's not done na plus I am not working....seriously looking for tho.
In my own opinion,mama nuku make sense with this advice,pls poster try and tolerate your cousin afterall you are relatives,he is your brother huh,bear with him till he finds a good job,i'm sure he will always appreciate your help later in the future when things turns out good for him,like nuku said,no one knows tomorrow,you may need his assistance too later in the future,betterstill helping him till he finds his feet will be a thing of joy to you that have the privilege to be helpful.
DeleteAnonymous Bug
Don't allow any family member, come put problem for your marriage,no privacy,you can't please him and displeased yourself...sometimes you have to be selfish to save yourself from enemy.Not all family members are good.From J👑
DeleteExactly, I agree! There is no privacy in your home. I have a similar situation where my husband's male relative has been living with us for a almost 2years now. The boy was just downloading everything happening in our home to his mother. So she was always calling that she heard so, so, and so. Until one day she texted me again that she heard so, so and so..., I did not reply ooo. That was the last time she contact me with such information. Also, the very annoying part was that any time their relatives call my phone and I dont pickup for whatever reason, they will call the relative phone to come give me the phone - even when I am in my bedroom trying to sleep. How rude is that? Now, I just keep mute, I have stopped asking my hubby when is his working full-time grown ass relative is going to move out.
DeleteThere's nothing I cherish more than my privacy, you better change to him totally and the handwriting will be written on the wall, what nonsense.
ReplyDeleteFirst,speak to ur man to know if he is ok with the boy staying with you it should be an heart Ti heart discussion and if he feels bad then u have to send him back politely.
ReplyDeleteThe easiest way is to tell him u guys are travelling and u can't leave him all alone at hone for personal reason
Mc pinky
You people like to put things in your husband. Hubby is not complaining. She should make her decision and live with it
DeleteKai this one hard o. Tell your hubby so that both can agree and promise to send him monthly upkeep as the house is not big enough to contain you all.
ReplyDeleteWahala full everywhere and people don't know what others are passing through but will come and add more problems
God will give you an insight on how to go about it without hurting anyonem
ReplyDeletejust tell him out rightly, there is no need to please him and displease yourself. tell him that you cannot afford to live with him citing your financial situation and his lack of courtesy to inform you he would be staying for a long time. please just tell him your mind. i would do the same
ReplyDeletePoster, it is easy oo if you have the mind for the consequences which is spreading the talk in the family that you chased him out. Is your hubby in support of him leaving?.. If yes, you will call him one day,one on one and tell him your husband's cousin too is coming and you can not accommodate everyone so hr should please understand and give you space for a while.
ReplyDeleteWhy not allow him to stay until he gets his dream job. He wont stay with u forever abi.. Who knows tommorrow. He might be of great help to u or ur children in future...
ReplyDeleteYou make sense die
Delete😂😂😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteIs that shiii right in anyway... u Berra come correctly and use ur upper...listen to me, there is a solution to this.. if na me oo I will tell him to back home and since he is my own family member and not from hubby’s...
Sit him down and talk to him nahh..
ReplyDeleteTell him it's high time he goes out to hustle and contribute in monthly upkeep. Tell him that this satrts next month.
ReplyDeleteThis your cousin is probably younger than you abi? Mine is my husband's 3rd abi 4th cousin, 45 years, single but hoping to get married, has refused all the jobs we got for him. Even his intended wife is getting annoyed. Does nothing except eat, sleep and follow my husband like a fly & that one is indulging him saying that his cousin s very stubborn. Takes food at will, opens my kitchen cupboards as if he forgot something inside, riffles through my fridge and freezer as he likes. I'm tired and fed up. Unwanted and annoying visitors are not it at all.
ReplyDeleteNow tell me what to do to this fly that has perched on the scrotum? 6 months and counting and he's still showing no signs of leaving.
This is why I like women!! Women are fair. The poster is family to the guy and she is not comfortable with him staying and behaving anyhow. Anonymous 16:25 though is also uncomfortable but the discomfort is a relative of the husband. But hubby no feel wife’s pain!! Men are selfish! Because he is not the one tending the home front, he can’t talk to his cousin. Poster, give him work to do and make sure he is well engaged with house work. If he is the lazy type, he will flee.
DeleteEleyi gidi gaan
DeleteThis is so easy just call your mum or dad or whoever is related to his mum and tell them your hubby wants the guy out of the house as it’s not convenient so he can find his level. This is why I no allow anyone know my house o or u can tell him your mother in law is coming so let him bounce
ReplyDeleteHave patience and help him pray that the second interview lands him a job. 30k job. Can you take 30k job? Just let him know that he cannot stay with you permanently. He should go back home after his interview.
ReplyDeleteThis is why I love myself, no time for nonsense, just tell the idiot you can accommodate him. Life is too short for bulshit
ReplyDeleteOf course she "CAN" accommodate him.
DeleteCan't even express yourself.
TAnon, ypjee just being unnecessarily mean. You want to tell me you didn't know that must have been an omission..but no, you want to show your perceived superiority by being mean to her.... That speaks more about the type of person you are than the commentator..
DeleteTo be frank with you, its a tough one since he is part of the family. Chasing him out in whatever form will cause problem with you and the mother.he is relax because he sees you as his blood. I think he would have taken the other job if he was living with an outsider. How wished he knows your heart.
ReplyDeleteJust the same way you play "eject" for tape recorder or CD player na.
ReplyDeleteWoman wey dey "sell fish"
If na ya younger brother you go eject am.
My brother would ask me and o can easily without much thinking eject him. It's that simple.
DeleteNa so foooolish women dey carry them own hand eject themselves for them marriage.
ReplyDeleteif you can help him, please help him, he is not lazy, he is just not sure what is expected of him, I'm sure if you give him.chores to.do, he will glady do them.
ReplyDeletethat stage of life is very tough, trust me nobody wants to be a hangers on but you know how the country is.
please help that guy, that is a better seed to sow than dashing rich pastors money. sow into his life and help.him through this difficult stage of transitioning into adulthood and job palaver, you will not regret it.
nobody is too poor to help.
maybe he grew up in Ibadan and wants to come to lagos and "husstle" big city dream and all. we all have that. please help him if you
I don't understand you poster. It's your house. What stops you from telling him to go until they call him for another interview? Please tell him to go and tell him to call you next time he wants to visit (You are on your own if he calls you and you allow him to come sha).
ReplyDeleteMine is even worse. My sis in law who is over 32 years has refused to leave me to enjoy my home since I got married last year. She has been living with my husband for over six years and also she has been working for more than 5 years.
ReplyDeleteYet this aunty has refused to rent her own house and leave me to enjoy my marriage in peace.She has fought with everybody that advised her to leave us. from friends to family members. My husband earns just 50k above what she earns but she cannot save a penny. Instead all she does is to buy clothes and shoes on credit and pay with all her salary once she receives her salary.
I contribute all my salary in the running of the house and taking care of my little baby. I do all my house chores alone and I mean alone! Even cooking and all errands with the help of my husband. She cant do anything for me not even when I'm sick.It's my husband that has to cook food or clean and she must eat.
I am tired and i just want her to go but my parents-in-law will not hear of it and I am trying to be careful cos I am not of the same tribe with them. They have asked her to continue to live with us in our tiny two bedroom till whenever she can get married. The annoying thing is that no matter what I do, she still carries my gist back home to badmouth me and make everybody hate me yet she will be forming friendship with me. I never knew until their cousin warned me to be careful of her and told me all that she use to say about me to them.I am just tired!!!I just feel she will eventually destroy my marriage if she continues to stay with us indefinitely. seriously need advise on what to do too.
Just pray for her to get married soon ooooo
DeleteWhat right has your parent in law to tell her to stay there till she get married? Gosh,it not easy to be a woman in Nigeria. Your husband is a weak man,mehnn...I hate weak man. I feel so sorry for u.
DeleteAt dis point u need to just neglect her
DeleteNow this your case is a proper chronicle. Compose it properly, send to Stella, she kuku said recently that folder is almost empty.
DeleteSister, endure. If you take a wrong step, they'll attack you. Maintain as things are, and keep praying for self control and keep being the more mature one. Love your husband dearly, focus on him and your baby. One way or another, she'll leave, and sooner than you think sef. Never ever confront her even when she's being a bitch. Pele, its not easy. So you mean you can't walk around your house naked and make love to your husband on the couch?? Chai! Anyway, e remain small! Don't worry, be happy!😊
Talk to the guy and let him know he needs to man up. He is no longer a kid but a man and he needs to face the fact of life. As a man he won't get things at a platter of gold. If you can help him secure another job opportunity pls do. And please not he is human and nobody knows tommorow so be mindful how you talk to him. Be gentle and sweet in your words and not telling him outrightly to leave because his over stayed his welcome.
ReplyDeletePoster.....call the mum and explain yourself. Let the mother be the one to instruct him to come home....
ReplyDeleteLet him stay for a while
ReplyDeleteI will advise you encourage him to take the 30k job so he would have working experience and his CV won't just be empty,tell him he might even get another opportunity while there.One has to be very careful when dealing with family members because the way they will narrate the story won't be funny.If he doesn't take the job,start complaining about your inlaw who wants to visit and you don't know how to tell them not to come.No matter what,don't tell him to leave.
ReplyDeleteHe’s already in, and he played smart coming in. You don’t have to condone his cunny ways. Therefore, have a sit down with him. Don’t involve his mum because she didn’t ask you when he brought his things to your house. Abi? He’s an adult and frankly the fact that he turned down a 30k job doesn’t mean he can’t get a 300k job tomorrow. Be part of this success story and move to Lagos, but be firm about what you can tolerate.
ReplyDeleteTell him you are out of job and when he is a man in his own house, he will understand that a wife’s relatives filling up the house isn’t the best for a small family. That you already have one here and you can pardon her because she’s a female and needs more protection. Remind him that he is a man and would have to go out and fend for himself. He can go out and look for jobs, he can go to job agencies and drop his Cv. He can apply as an intern, so he gets into the work system and builds networks outside his ojoro friends. Lol. Tell him that you can only house him for a specific amount of time (set a deadline in his head, s’il vous plait) and that between then and now you need to see him actively putting his life in order by going out to find another job since he doesn’t like the offer he got. Be plain about the fact that you don’t need a liability, cos really it’s only in Nigeria that we feel we must accommodate full blown adults and be feeling guilty about encouraging them to stand on their feet.
If he doesn’t move, give him chores and plenty house work. No be person go tell am 🤣
Poster, take this advice.
DeleteI don't know why people find it hard to express themselves. Poster, i want to assume he is younger than you..call BIM and take to him like you would your own blood brother..
1. Poi t out to him he said he was going to just come for interview nad not stay
2. You arent working and things are hard
3. He is not helping with anything which makes you feel isn't contributing anything to the house and is not integrating into the household.
4. You'll give him time till a certain date to get something, anything to do.
5. Do not frown, tie your face or anything such move. Instead treat him like a younger brother. Send him message. Tell him when you want something done. Give him the baby to hold...something
This is the best advice. It is exactly what i'd do cos I love being part of people's success stories no matter how little.
DeletePoster, have a proper so down with him; make him has come house.
My aunty dealt with her own in laws by leasing a farmland & turning them to her labourers. No be person tell them to run back to where they come from.
ReplyDelete😁😁😄😄😄 wish I can do same . 🤣🤣
Delete