Marriage Diaries -2

We want to share what some women go through in marriages but can't share with people around them because of certain reasons...it is a closed door but this might help you find closure knowing you are not alone...

PART ONE HERE

Then one night...........
I was holding his phone and a message popped in from whatsapp. Oga was deeply asleep. The message was from a girl, an undergraduate.

Am team snoop. Proudly learnt my skill from the Ogas at the top on this blog.

Team snoop on SDK, please blow kiss for your sister in the comment session.lol

But in my case, I didn't need any software. We had each others password.
But surprisingly, anytime I checked Ogas phone. I found nothing. So I concluded Oga was not cheating. Oga did not change in the house. The only thing that slightly changed was the amount of time Oga spent in the rest room.

NOTE
"I knew porn was keeping him, I didn't mind. Since I can't satisfy him and I wasnt enjoying it either. I requested that we talk to a counsellor in church. Oga say No, sex therapist nko, Oga say MBA(No). Oga said if we talk to anybody. They cannot arrange us on the bed and watch us to the do. He can be very sturborn and adamant.I simply concluded that at all at all na him bad. He was still a companion. I only prayed that it won't send him to the ER.

I cant remember why i had his phone at the time.
I stopped snooping since I always found nothing".


The message was a reply to an earlier message he sent to her. I scrolled to see earlier message, none was there. Oga deleted as he sent. No traces whatsoever. The girl replied at the wrong time. 

NOTE
" I am a temperamental person. The heaven can fall when am angry. But I am not violent. But you see this my mouth, (lol)you will prefer I beat you".


All my emotions were skyrocketing out of control. I was angry. No!I was livid, as in MAD. I prayed in my heart for control. Holy Spirit didn't bring one on time. I wanted to practice all what we were taught during counselling, all those Christian sisters thing, what the Bible says about that particular incidence.
For where? The spirit was willing, but the flesh no allow o.
Oga stirred in his sleep at that time.(His guardian angel woke him up)lol.

NOTE.
In all that was going on in our home. We still prayed together morning and night. We hug, peck each others cheeks as well as plant kisses on each other while he is going to work and when he comes back. God never left our home. But the devil was trying us.
He asked me, what are you doing with my phone? I calmly gave him the phone with the message still on screen. Oga kept very quiet.
I asked for explanations, Oga said she is a colleague. That she was just playing. OK agreed a colleague, why did you trash previous messages?.
Oga said they were discussions that I wouldn't like to see. That I will be suspecting him as I was presently doing. So I went inside our bedroom and I went to carry Bible.

NOTE
"The Bible I carried was not the regular one we use for religious purposes. It is not the one I carry to church. It is like my own juju. The Bible I carried is a symbol of a covenant between God and I on my marriage. 

God approved of my marriage to him through my dream. So He must stay with me.(sobbing). He must make things right.The Bible is one gifted to me during the traditional wedding. The one that the bride will be asked to pick during the engagement ceremony. It was the same Bible we used in praying together on getting to my new home for the first time. I used it only for VERY SPECIAL PURPOSES".

He was scared. With tears rolling down my face, I asked him to swear if he was telling the truth. I was no longer angry. I was broken. I was weak. 

NOTE
"It was more than a heartbreak to me. I arrived this earth without love, I got none growing up. Am I going to live my entire life without love again. Am I going to be alone again. Am I going to be like mum who was with her second husband. Is this not generational curse. Am I going to be the senior wife like Hubby's own mother too,or be separated like her.My mother in-law fled polygamy. She trained all her kids by herself. A lots of thoughts were crossing through my mind.
Despite my "golden hymen" tag, which kain Second hand sales I go enter. I was shattered.

Suicidal thoughts began to creep into my mind. Nothing was working. No love!No money. Despite my faithfulness to God.I am a diligent worker in Gods vineyard.

Then he starts to confess. He says they haven't gbenshed yet. But she had given him "Beejay" in the Car. Then he started to go defensive. That I caused it by refusing him "Beejay".

NOTE.
" I must have kissed him that day when he came back from work. Can you imagine?".

I packed a few cloths and said I was leaving. Its too early for this. It's just 8months of marriage and you can't be patient?.Then I remembered a lots of reasons why I couldn't just walk away. I still did the shakara now. I walked slowly to the door. The time was 11.35pm. I was pregnant too.

NOTE
I would have walked away truly. But for where? No liver.Then I started to remember that in my tribe, pregnant women don't go outside when its dark. I cannot add an abnormal or spirit looking child to my list of problems. There is no bike to the main road at that time of the night where I stay.

I also remembered that walking out means I will find where to sleep. Where do I go? My parents place? Yes they stay pretty near. But that means mum won. She will mock me and still send me back. My mum controls what my dad does.
I also remembered that my other two friends were doing fine in their husband's house. At least I was seeing their show of love on social media.Three of us got married as "fargins" at practically the same time.

Another thoughts that strayed past my mind was I lost my job because of this marriage. Where do I start from?.
Dear Hubby is a true son of the African soil. He was not truly remorseful but a bit sorry.


NOTE
"This was someone that knelt down to beg me many times while we were dating and courting.Can you Imagine the effrontery?
He was never unfaithful during our dating and courtship.At least not to my knowledge."

We both concluded that we will not be telling anybody about the incident. So till today, no third party knows except God.
We also concluded that another must not happen and that I will Start to give him the "Beejay". 

At least the Beejay led him astray. I forgot my "yanger". I deleted my reasons for not giving him at first from my mind and head. I just wanted this marriage to work. I just wanted to make things right. 

I didn't mind if it will bring me to an uncomfortable zone. I also did not mind that it made me sad. I cared less.
Its a life contract. Baby is on the way.She must grow up to know her Father.
But something had changed in me that night. He disgusted me. 

Note
"To be fair, the lady was not as beautiful as I am. She didn't even have all my correct features. I have curves and bumps in the right places but unlike me, she could use her body well for the gbenshing game".
The next morning, Oga wanted to gbensh but wanted his appetizer first " Beejay".
As a good wife, I tried my best. Its the first time of doing it. Oga liked it. I was happy.
Finally breakthrough in my marriage. At least I can sexually please him now. But my village people no free me o.

I started to have sore throats after the acts. Then I concluded that it was the "Beejay". I rarely had it before. I cannot come and willingly have throat cancer (if there is anything like that) because I want to stay married and please my man.


NOTE.
"After marriage, I discovered that when hubby goes to poop in the toilet. He will clean on himself. As in a full grown adult stands up and starts to pour water on his bum. The water stained poop will wash down his leg and and land on the bathroom floor. He baths only once. He sweats a lot. He will never agree to bath before we start the gbenshing game.

His reason, his hand will not reach his bum while sitting on the toilet bowl. Someone without any form of disability. I have complained to his mum. But she thought it was too small a thing. She said I should tolerate him".


So my brethren, I was ready to stop it. I STOPPED IT. I have had enough. I have made sacrifices. I have left my own comfort zone. Let him also compromise now.
So Dear Husband made a new rule in the house. The rule is..........

*What a forking dirty man!!!

That shit part got to me and stirred my OCD nerves,I am so irritated that I need to have a bath,like right now!!!