As an empathic person, it is very easy to please me. I decided to get closer to my uncle's wife. That was her home. She deserved to be happy. I also felt my uncle would be happy too if I bonded very well with the wife who was not my blood relative. Blood will always sort itself out.
Her sister came on a three month visit too. I realised that if she could treat her own elder sister that introduced her to my uncle terribly, who I be?
I became her gist partner. She preferred to do the cooking herself. She was a very good cook. I assisted whenever she told me to. Occasionally, she would use part of the foodstuffs I brought from Nigeria. I would smile because I thought I came empty handed.
Once in a while, I also took her out to our favorite restaurant. I bought gifts for her and the kids. When I got paid, I gave her some money to assist in paying bills but they refused to accept the money.
She was happy with me. So, I thought!
I came on this trip with my fourteen month old baby. Whenever I wanted to go to work, I would drop her off with a Nigerian woman that came for Omugwo.
I came on this trip with my fourteen month old baby. Whenever I wanted to go to work, I would drop her off with a Nigerian woman that came for Omugwo.
On one fateful day, I called Mama that I was coming. She said she was in Atlanta. I had one hour to get to work. Nowhere to keep the baby. That was how I lost my job with my sweet old lady.
The original Princess told me to sort the baby issue out before I could use her papers again. She didn't want to have issues with the Nursing Board.
Chinyere, my uncle's wife's sister, assisted in watching the baby whenever she was around. When I went to get job application forms, she watched the baby. As long as I didn't get the job, my uncle would say I was gallivanting and prostituting.
The original Princess told me to sort the baby issue out before I could use her papers again. She didn't want to have issues with the Nursing Board.
Chinyere, my uncle's wife's sister, assisted in watching the baby whenever she was around. When I went to get job application forms, she watched the baby. As long as I didn't get the job, my uncle would say I was gallivanting and prostituting.
If I stayed home,he would shout,"is this how you will survive in America? Why are you at home kissing your baby when your mates are outside making money?"
If he was Chinese, his name would have been Confucius. Very confused and confusing human being.
There was a day I went out. I was just thinking about my life. I met a lady from Haiti who was in love with an Igbo man. She called me her in-law and I spoke with her guy. She told me, " if you want to survive in America, forget who you were in your country. Dont trust anybody completely but never look down on anybody. The people that would help you may not look like the people you were expecting ". I felt better.
In order to increase my network of acquaintances, I joined a dating site. I was not searching for love. I just needed friendship. I met Ababio, a Ghanaian who was just dripping of milk of human kindness all over. He was a nurse. We became friends. I opened up to him. He was a good person to me. My story would not be complete without him.
A few days after I met Ababio, I went out with Chinyere to New York. She told me there was an on-going recruitment at her workplace. I told Iheoma where I was going to. When my uncle came back, she told him I went to see my sister in New York for a job. My father had an American daughter whom I had not seen in 21 years. She was aware I was around.
If he was Chinese, his name would have been Confucius. Very confused and confusing human being.
There was a day I went out. I was just thinking about my life. I met a lady from Haiti who was in love with an Igbo man. She called me her in-law and I spoke with her guy. She told me, " if you want to survive in America, forget who you were in your country. Dont trust anybody completely but never look down on anybody. The people that would help you may not look like the people you were expecting ". I felt better.
In order to increase my network of acquaintances, I joined a dating site. I was not searching for love. I just needed friendship. I met Ababio, a Ghanaian who was just dripping of milk of human kindness all over. He was a nurse. We became friends. I opened up to him. He was a good person to me. My story would not be complete without him.
A few days after I met Ababio, I went out with Chinyere to New York. She told me there was an on-going recruitment at her workplace. I told Iheoma where I was going to. When my uncle came back, she told him I went to see my sister in New York for a job. My father had an American daughter whom I had not seen in 21 years. She was aware I was around.
My uncle called my sister. She said we didn't talk, much more see. That was around 2pm. It was not midnight. My uncle called me. I told him exactly what I told the wife. When I came home, he slapped me. He didn't know I recorded everything. He said his wife would not lie to him. I was not working. I didn't have money. I decided to be a fool. I knelt down and apologized to both of them. I even told them I was bored at home and just wanted to go out. I took Iheoma out for lunch two days after,on Mother's day.
I had reached my elastic limit. My husband told me to come back. I would have but Chinyere told me to see my humiliation as a stepping stone. She told me I would make it shorter than I anticipated,going back would mean giving my uncle and the sister the victory. I decided to go with Chinyere. Whenever these Senior Apostles of the devil wanted to start an episode, I would record it.
I had reached my elastic limit. My husband told me to come back. I would have but Chinyere told me to see my humiliation as a stepping stone. She told me I would make it shorter than I anticipated,going back would mean giving my uncle and the sister the victory. I decided to go with Chinyere. Whenever these Senior Apostles of the devil wanted to start an episode, I would record it.
To avoid more issues, I was going out everyday, pretending to go to work. My uncle's wife found me a babysitter. The old lady watched her son when he was younger. Some days, I would go to Princess's house or Ababio's with my baby.
This old lady coincidentally was related to Ababio. When I introduced them as my family from Ghana, that was when they found out they were related.
Mummy Ghana knew that my uncle and wife were psychiatric cases, so she had compassion on me. She didn't charge me daily. On the days she charged, she would tell me not to bother bringing baby food. She gave the baby her food and took care of her very well. She also told me about some CNA jobs. Her daughter was a nurse and gave her information. My husband also thanked them for being my support system.
My husband and sister raised me enough money from Nigeria. Princess, Ababio and Mummy Ghana found rooms for me but i liked the one recommended by Princess. I paid for it.
My husband and sister raised me enough money from Nigeria. Princess, Ababio and Mummy Ghana found rooms for me but i liked the one recommended by Princess. I paid for it.
On the day I moved, I dressed up for " work" as usual. I took my baby to Mummy Ghana. I went to Ababio's house and told him it was time for me to move. I waited till his day off to move. When I knew my uncle and wife would be at work, I came back and packed my things. I opened the freezer, dished out enough food and ate very well. I also finished a bottle of wine, to transport the food. After all, I was in my uncle's house.
After battle, comes victory. I had my celebration. Ababio was in the car waiting. He put my bags in the trunk of his car. I dropped their keys and locked the doors. Never to return. I sent my uncle a text, thanking him for his world class hospitality. I told Chinyere I moved. She was happy.
As for Iheoma, I looked at her number and pressed "delete".
Chinyere told me that when Iheoma came back, she was mad. She wanted my uncle to throw me out. She didn't like that particular rapture. Chinyere also claimed ignorance of my action. For days, Iheoma was restless. She thought I was a fool but I surprised her.
Chinyere told me that when Iheoma came back, she was mad. She wanted my uncle to throw me out. She didn't like that particular rapture. Chinyere also claimed ignorance of my action. For days, Iheoma was restless. She thought I was a fool but I surprised her.
The abroad life
ReplyDeleteStanding ovation mehn, I hate people that just treat you like fools, your uncle is not serious but some mehn love their wives to the point they can do anything for them. I am happy for you, she must have been really mad lol
DeleteIf they didn't take money from you or even kick you out of their house, your uncle and his wife aren't so bad IMO. The fact that you packed out of the house of someone who accommodated you and fed you for months without telling them in person but rather through a text goes to show your kind of person you are.
DeleteYou're a married woman and under their care taking trips to different cities without discussing with the people you're living with is disrespectful. You joined a dating site, befriended single men an expected an applause? In this story, the only person I feel sorry for is your husband.
Amya, you are a wicked person.
DeleteBitter Truth. You just spoke my mind.
DeletePoster. You're my kind of woman I swear. Gbamπͺπͺ
ReplyDeleteAye...Sometimes we just need to grab the bull by the horn...Bey's Hands for you sweet thing.π
ReplyDeleteHonestly don't feel sorry for you, why go when you dnt have papers and you joined a dating site ,my dear u no dey look for friend and papers you dey find
ReplyDeleteIf na paper she find, na your business? Na your paper? Jealousy no go kill you. Is she asking for sorry?
DeleteUngrateful bitch,why did you move out in their absence!!!! That is so wrong.most of you are always fond of doing this sort of thing after someone house you abroad.Afterall they accommodated you and not just you,you were with a little child.ibtgink your uncle and wife tried their best the way they could help you out.some people will not even take you in at all
ReplyDeleteAccommodating somebody does not mean you created that person. you must be those type of ppl that think accommodating people abroad is equal to giving them life . So she should stay and die of psychological torture?
DeleteHahahahaha, this one na real abroad wonder.
ReplyDeleteNa wa Oo!Families abroad no de get loyalty. Which kain uncle and wife be ds
ReplyDeleteApplause.
ReplyDeleteREMINDER TO MR. PAUL OKAH...PLEASE COMPLETE YOUR GIST AND the other part of it.
what a story
ReplyDeleteAction Lady is what I will call you..
ReplyDeleteGood moves
Poster iso na ife olu nye.
ReplyDeleteI like your story
Wow, the abroad life is the survival of the fittest.
ReplyDeleteLovely story. Victory at the end
ReplyDeleteSweet story Abroadian... your writing prowess is bangdadadangππ... please give us more gist pleaseeeeee
ReplyDeleteNice story, but y would u leave ur uncles house in died absence, and inform dem f ur departure via SMS. That's cruel and wicked period.
ReplyDeleteSee no matter what they did, u have no right to leave their house in died absence and d worst of all, informing them through sms
ReplyDeletePls who died?
DeleteI like your story. So how are you coping now? No blame me na Stella teach me.
can you please go back to nursery school and come back after 6 years? We might understand your point then. Don't you dare blame autocorrect.
DeleteU are a strong woman. I enjoyed reading ur story
ReplyDeleteYou have good writing skills, you keep the reader intrigued and amused. Well done.
ReplyDeleteHowever, u have painted urself as a saint and ur uncle (+ wife) as the devil. I know there are wicked ppl o, esp relatives but I have to ask;
Why did u really join a dating site as a married woman? U sure Ababio is just a friend? Does ur hubby know him? Does ur hubby know u joined a dating site & are friends with someone u met there?
I find it hard to believe ur uncle slapped u, a grown ass woman and mother simply because he didn't believe ur New York story. There's more to it. Why didn't u prove him wrong by calling ur friend who told u about d job there?
Despite all these, they sheltered u and ur baby and fed u. U may not be happy with them understandably, but for the good they have done,they deserve more than an SMS. It’s messed up on ur part. U would have told them to their faces on d day before u moved out or same day. All the same, congratulations on ur freedom ma.
Are you minding her? If we ask the uncle and aunt we would hear a completely different story. You can even tell she has sketchy tendencies. I’m sure they noticed she can do just about anything to survive, even sell them sef.
DeleteHmmm you are a strong woman, can't wait to read more .
ReplyDeleteI have been calling the number you put up on the santas post and it's not going through, please what is your size and your location
DeleteStrong Lady your own better oo,your husband still send you money what a nice man, this your Stori never End shaaaa, I believe it Ended in Praise.
ReplyDeleteAll these ungrateful inlaws with a self entitlement mentality. That was how my husband's sister packed in and out of my home with no acknowledgment. if she tells her biased story now, I'm very sure she won't include the part of her walking around stark naked, never washing the bathroom or even bed spread she uses and boyfriend showing up unannounced.
ReplyDeleteThey always forget that they are women too and will also have inlaws.
This kind of woman sef who was eager to abandon her 1 year old baby with husband in Nigeria and also hanging with a single guy in his house, that's was a giveaway to the horrible character she is. Oshico PLC!!!
Life abroad is hard for families without papers. It would have easier for you to hustle if you were single. The Haitian lady was right.”the people that would help you may not look like the people you were expecting “ so true.
ReplyDeleteNice story.
its better you left them before they threw you out. How can uncle maltreat his niece because they are living abroad. Na wah
ReplyDeleteChoi this is a sweet something
ReplyDeleteRappakatakata, I was bothered that Stella did not post my story on time yesterday and I did not bother to type. My boss ran away from the office since yesterday,so I'll type the full gist and post tomorrow. I'm packing my bag to travel tomorrow,but enough gist dey...
ReplyDeleteWow!
ReplyDeleteI love you already!
Your writing prowess is that π
Sweet story..
ReplyDeleteI love this post, moving out was the sweetest revenge.I can imagine Iheoma's face when She found out you had left...lol
ReplyDeleteππππthis Is truly American wonder ....iheoma shame unto you all power belong to Jesus
ReplyDeleteLife ain't easy. May God help you.
ReplyDeleteThe part of packing out when they are away, I did that too. After suffering like a fool for 3 months because I was trying to find my feet. I was even told to avoid ironing my shirts because it wastes electricity. We thank God for God now. I have my own house, my aunt still lives in a council flat!
ReplyDeleteWhen I travelled and saw how ppl were behaving I prayed and asked God never to change me from who I am. God will never let me maltreat a guest. How many beds will they sleep on? How much food can they eat? I will give you what I can afford if it's not ok you are free to buy what you want, simple. why make ppl uncomfortable just because they came to your house. Rubbish.
DeleteNice story. But you should have told them you were moving out
ReplyDeletePoster I feel for you, some people make you feel less than a person just because they are accommodating you. It happens in Nigeria too, not just abroad. Let those young graduates living with relatives while searching for jobs tell you their experience. I'm glad your husband is supportive oh but try get a paper and go back home to your husband since he is well off. I was at Enugu when one man died at ogui road while waiting for his wife who travelled to us like you, left their two kids with him and got trapped cos of papers. It got to a point the man was begging his wife to forget about paper and come home but the woman no hear, till the man dropped dead out loneliness and exhaustion taking care of the two little kids.the woman came back for burial though I do not know if she came without getting the papers but the in laws told her not to step in as she is off no use their brother in his dead state. They sold the land the man bought with the money sent by the woman to finance the burial.
ReplyDeleteYour uncle and his wife even tried. If I was the one, I won't even have let you stay in my place. I'll get you a hotel for one week. So you came with a baby, they let you live in their house, you didn't have plans on how you were going to legalize your stay, you felt because he's your uncle, you're entitled to live in his hose while you find your feet. So your uncle should have supported you over his wife abi? You left your own husband in Nigeria to come and cause trouble in your uncle's house, accusing the wife up and down, even if she didn't like you, sense should have told you she was in her right, it's her home. I'm sure if she comes to say her own side of the story now, it's something else we will hear.
ReplyDeleteYou are married, you went on dating site to find connection. You can't attend a church and find comnection abi? So Ababio that was on a dating site was only looking for a friend in you abi? Abeg madam, just dont annoy somebody.
This is why people don't like letting people stay in their house abroad, in the end, they'll paint you as a devil.
You are a stingy original devil for starters. Nobody needs to paint you any other "color". You see ya life?
DeleteIf you don't live outside Naija, you may not understand what it takes to host someone in your home in such societies. I've hosted at least seven families (strangers) since I moved out of Nigeria because I strongly believe in the ministry of hospitality.
ReplyDeleteHowever, the last family I hosted 3 yrs ago was my last as far as long term stay goes.They were a family of 5 people and I hosted them for 6 months.
When my guests moved out, I supported them with rent, monthly groceries, paid phone bills etc.
All it took for me to be a devil in their eyes was my refusal to bring half of their 26kg luggage from Naija. Dis regarding the fact that I have to pack things for myself and others as well and they were not willing to pay fees for the 26kg extra luggage to ensure everything was brought for them.
Truly some visitors make life a living hell for their host which makes you wonder if it was a good decision in the first place. Hosting involves emotional committment because you have to share their pain, sadness, disappointment, joy and all. Some guest don't understand it could be overwhelming for their host when they throw tantrums, nag, become envious or complain too much. Many
Of them are have no patience at all. Their actions could even put their host in harm's way.
Life is a journey in which everyone has to go through a phase to reach their desired goals( some guests want to be you right away and they can't even hide the feeling; asking you to get them to your level, not understanding you might not have a clue what they even need to do especially if you didn't migrate illegally like them).
My conclusion is that humans are hard to please; just do your bit ( both host and guest) and leave God to reward each and everyone.