TTC Stories -Part 3

To every couple TTCing ,here is hoping and praying fervently that you find strength,courage,hope and knowledge on how to handle yourself during this trying journey in JESUS name.

The Decision To LIVE- 

Attending naming ceremonieshave to be the most awkward scenario for a woman TTC,especially in this part of the world. I really didn't just jump into this conclusion,but after attending a reasonable number of naming ceremonies,I was faced with a subtle yet uncomfortable truth- As a woman TTC in Nigeria,naming ceremonies will bring you face to face with the brutal yet subtle way in which we are stigmatized.


Here I was at a close family member's naming ceremony(I Love babies,always have and always will). At the venue,I went round greeting everyone(a necessary culture requirement,and "as a dutiful wife as I is nasi went to greet elders,friends and family).


Instead of getting a 'Thank you' response to my congratulations greeting,I got Ire-Akari meaning the blessing will go round. Don't get me wring,I love prayers and I am thrilled to hear that you are praying for me,but how about we keep it in the closet and stop being such an emotional terrorist?


Hearing this over and over and over again was overwhelming I almost went to hide myself in a corner out of shame and just basically wearied from feeling like I had a disease of some sort.


The pastor arrived and conducted the ceremony,then came the prayer point- 'If there is anyone here praying for this wonderful bundle of joy'- at this point I wouldn't even lie,I opened my eyes slightly and true to my thoughts,a couple of people were staring at me!!!!! chai,shame catch me no be small.


I said to myself- Babe,if you do not make a conscious and daily effort to take charge over your life and LIVE,nobody will do it for you.Two things can happen after this,I could either raise my head up,smile,square my shoulders and enjoy the party OR Cower under the emotional bombs dropped left,right and centre.


The tests are painful enough,the struggle is hard already,I couldn't afford to have people steal my life and peace by brooding all over the place. With this decision,I stood up and went straight to the caterers stand,got two portions of Ofada rice - Best decision I made that Day (the rice was amazing,I almost went for more,but decided to allow others eat as well). After eating,I hit the dance floor and really danced away my pain and shame.


My IUI journey-


Body and system fully rested,we(hubs and i) got a recommendation to a fertility hospital with a commendable record in assisted conception.


Quick prayer:- I pray that GOD blesses every couple TTC in JESUS name,may. flood gates of heaven be open upon you,your works/businesses and also lay it on people's heart to bless you in JESUS name.


Why did I pray? well fertility treatment odi very very expensive(read this in deep igbo accent). We stepped into the hospital and were handed the flyer's(Nna mehn,I had to pour myself a cup of cold water at from the dispenser to cool down my nerves) The great thing about this clinic though is that compared to other places,this is affordable.


We paid for registration was included tests for us both (talk about value for money) then prepared to get the tests done.


Depending on your age,IUI is said to have just about a 25% chance of conception but for us and our pockets at the time,that was good enough.


while preparing for our first test,we heard shouts of joy, a 52year old woman had put to bed and that for us was an amazing rush of joy,hope and happiness.


First test was to get my Husband's semen(I don't know any other decent word to use for this)so I went in with him for moral support. As weird and nollywoody as this may sound,our conversation was:-


Hubs:- It quickly remove your jeans let's do this


Me:- This is a hospital Babe,try to control yourself


Hubs:- Wait ooo,how else do you expect me to produce the required semen?


Me:- gave option


Hubs:- Don't waste time,lie down sharp sharp when I you heard the 52 year old that just gave birth,besides a bed wouldn't be here if they didn't want us to..........


Long story short,we did and took the specimen to the matron. Little did we know,that the lab analyst would ask for the mode of retrieval.


My husband's response was in low current as I could barely hear him mutter 'intercourse even though I sat right beside him.


After the results,I went in to get my medication which included injection shots to start from Day 2 of my cycle. The shots are to be administered either at the upper tight of under belly- it's nothing to worry about as it's not painful at all(the needle is quite small)


After day 1,you will probably be brave enough to do it yourself on the other days. Next is the follicle monitoring to ensure that the meds are working as required.


GOD's Intention for Couples

- Is that we will be fruitful,multiply and replenish the earth
- That he he blessed us with the blessing of the womb and of the breast
- None shall be barren in the land as we serve him.


There are alot of promises concerning childbirth and I say them to myself over and over again to encourage and strengthen my mind,for his words will not fall to the ground.


The day of insemination came and everything seemed good and we were set for the procedure. It's completely painless,so rest easy. You will just be required to lay back for a few minutes then get a good sleep afterwards.


Date was given for the pregnancy test result,and not being anxious is easier said than done. We decided to go sight seeing in another state just to get our minds off the issue at hand or worrying about what the final test result will be.


On our visit to the hospital to test for pregnancy,the silence was just killing. Plus I had gone out to buy baby things,cleared out a part of my wardrobe and arranged the clothes and booties.


The consultant wasn't around,so his assistant attended to us. Took my blood sample to the lab and we waited for our result. The minute she stepped into the reception,I knew the result was negative- Her body language and her trying so hard not to keep eye contact said it all. She must have gone back into the lab and out into the reception at least three times(this was clearly her first sad news to break).


After parambulating,she finally invited us into the consulting room and I said to her - 'it's okay,the result is negative right? and she said 'Yes. Everything else she said,sounded far because my mind had wondered off in deep thoughts.


I couldn't cry,I was just numb. The amazing part for me was this- I was at peace within myself regardless of the news I just received and I knew I wasn't going to give up on trying. So I asked her when we could come in for another procedure,and was required to wait for at least one or two more cycles. while we wait,they will also go over our history and the procedure to determine what went wrong.


I don't know how we got home That day,but we did. No talks at all as we drove in silence,both thinking on what could have happened and why the result was negative.


meanwhile,I still had to open my wardrobe and stare at the clothes that I couldn't even bear to look at anymore..............


For HE makes everything beautiful in HIS time.


Next log will be about my next IUI and IVF by GOD'S grace.