Saturday In House Gists..

Saturday in house will make you laugh but if you dont laugh,at least you will learn something....shine ya eyes.....

GIST ONE

Hello Stella, great work you're doing. Keep it up! My gist may out be out rightly funny but I hope someone is able to learn one or two things from it.

So one Sunday like that in December, we were outside our compound gisting wen we saw this our wealthy neighbour of about 80yrs old hitting a woman of about 40 with stick, broom and his hands. Shuuu. 

Wetin happen na?? 

He was hitting her so hard eh and staggering at the same time.  And instead of running, the woman kept holding on to him pleading. His wife was by the side trying to plead with him to stop hitting the woman. He eventualĺy drove her out and locked their gate. The woman cried for a while, gathered her things and left.

As aproko na,after much digging. We found out that the woman is his first daughter. Things fell apart for them more than 10yrs ago when the lady married a man he didn't approve of. And since then this lady has tried everything to make him  forgive her to no avail. 

The daughter and her husband are still childless and all the lady has been asking for was for him to bless their marriage. He said  he would forgive her on the condition that she leaves the husband, which she has refused. The woman and her husband are not doing so well, and this man has refused to help them in any way. He was even said to have willed his properties to his other daughter  whose husband is equally very wealthy and he now sees her as his first daughter. He was also said not to be in good terms with his only son. The son chose business over working (he got a job for him in a bank and he refused to work there). 

Infact almost everyone in the neighbourhood have one complain or the other about the old man, as he is seen as a wicked old man. Children dare not play any where near his compound.

On 14th feb. the lady brought valentine gifts for her mother. They were inside the mother's shop which is in front of their compound gisting when the man came back. As usual, he started shouting and  hitting her with anything and everything he could lay hands on.

 I dey my window de observe them. Lol.He drove her out of the shop, telling her that he never want to set his eyes on her again, he angrily collected the gift from his wife and threw it on the floor outside the shop and went inside angrily.

I was watching the whole drama from my window as I no go any where on val day. I thought the drama was up when the old man came out again with a small container which contained petrol. He poured it on the gift which was wrapped and lit it up. I was trying to see the content of the gift when the next thing that happened was fuuuuum.  

The gift exploded.

 He was shouting help! help! As his wife and daughter were a bit far from where he was. He was badly burnt. His face, hands and body were badly burnt.It happened that there was body spray among the gift which made it explode. The man just  came back last weekend after spending months in the hospital.

I heard he is yet to forgive the daughter oo, infact his anger has tripled as he accused her of trying to kill him.

But Why so much unforgiveness for so long? And he has ended up dividing his family as some of his children are on his side, while others and their mother are on another side. Instead of the old man to put his house in order before he dies, he's busy creating more problem upandan..

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GIST TWO

I remember when I was in the university in 2013... I had friends that bleach and I use to envy them but I couldn't afford it. Then I remember  my mum's sales girl who was so fair than anything and each time I go to her house I used to see one pink container, and she says that is what she uses.. 

One good day, I went to the market to buy food items then I saw this cream in one womans store, so I asked her the price she said one #150.. I was happy that I asked the woman over 100 times if it bleaches and she said yes and that I should use it in the morning. 

That is how I carried rose cream go my hostel, the following day Saturday, I had a nice bath and I began to rub this cream,my body just dey white, the thing refuse to go, I no just mind I just they rub for my body. Na so I comot for room go play outside, one of my friend just saw me and shouted... 

''madam what is this'' with confidence I said it's bleaching cream, so she asked me to let her see it.. lo and behold I was using Charley(I hope I get the correct spelling) to rub my body before she now explain to me how they use it, shame no gree me use am again na so I troway the Charley abi na rose..

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GIST 3

Stella, this happened sometime back.

I bought this beautiful skirt sometime back for a whooping sum of

#3000!!!  hungry student like me. so I said everybody must see the day

i will wear it to church.

As sunday reach na, i come kit up nack one four inches heel join. I

look myself for mirror give myself thumbs up becos i know say me sef

try.

If you see the kain catwalk wey i throway reach church ehn. my friend

just the give me side eyes.

As we reach church na, mass wan almost start so church don full

already. na only few seats remain for back seat. the church warden now

adviced us to use the back door. for my mind i say shuuoo? see this

kill joy ooo. after all my kit up i go come follow backdoor make

people no see me? it cant fit happen abeg.

Na so i come follow the front door, as i reach centre of church make i

genuflect (the catholics will understand this) na im i get the

attention wey i don dey find since albeit in a negative way.

the slit of my skirt do prapraaaaa. i feel cool breeze for my nyach.

lo and behold! the thing tear reach the waist come leave my stretch mark

infested nyach to public view as na only g-string i wear to avoid panty

lines.

People of God! I just freeze for there!!! na one lay reader carry him

robe come give me to tie. how i left church that day still remains a

mystery to me. my friend laugh sotey cough catch her.

*Who is last weeks winner?I think someone from the comment section...The person is yet to make contact with proof