Time for the Couch.....
There have been lots of talks in recent times that marriages are not the same as it was in the time of our parents. Several theories have been put forward on why Marriages are crashing and divorce rate increasing....
So what do you think is the number 1 reason marriages fail in Nigeria? We are focusing on Nigeria....
Is it increase in domestic violence,lack of love, issues with finance, Infidelity, Sex, Communication problems, what? what?what!!!
What is the solution?
Personally, I feel marriages dz days fail bcos d two people involved wnt it to fail.. full stop...
ReplyDeleteYes u are right, the bible says, can two work together expect they be agreed
DeleteEven if one partner is willing and the other isn't, it still will fail. Simple.
To me Infidelity is the number one reason marriages break up in Nigeria because most husband and wives cheats and think it's just lack of prayer because devil has really eaten into the marriage institution. Abeg am tired jare don't know why marriages are crashing in nigeria.
DeleteShut ur mouth!!
DeleteSo if the man is violent and wicked, she should continue believing all will be well and not find her way out abii? Crap
Stella why are we focusing only on Nigeria? We'll also like to know why white peeps divorce like no tomorrow!
More marriages fail abroad plus there are no specific reasons, all marriages are different. Just ask for wisdom and grace and be committed except it's a life threatening condition. Instead of throwing in the towel as modern day people. The basic problems are PRIDE and UNFORGIVNESS.
Delete1. Ladies are now co-breadwinners. Why will I take shit from a man when I fulfill my God given responsibility and his at the same time? By shit I mean swallow ur infidelity, disrespect, physical abuse etc. Why should I? Just to answer MRS? Not worth it. And I still contribute in paying bills. What exactly is the man bringing to the table?
Delete2. After seeing the sufferings, pain, shame, tears and embarrassment my mother went through in the hands of my dad. Causing her to develop High Blood Pressure whilst the man is running around hale and hearty with his community penis. I am not ready to go through the same oh Biko. I will not come n die on top man matter. I will rather be alone with my kids. Thank You
3. Sexually Transmitted Diseases full for ground. I love my life
4. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. U sleep with any girl u want and I'm restricted to ur frail I satisfying penis that can't even make me have an orgasm? Biko Waka dey go. When my dildo and vibrator does a better job than you
5. You have an Msc I have an Msc. Why should I accept bullshit and disrespect from you? What makes u superior? A penis? Taa Gerarahere mehn
6. I am willing to make things work if the guy is too. But if he isn't oya bye bye
7. Most women do well in all aspects of life without the "Nigerian" man holding her back. My husband once told me he can't let me do better than him. He can't let me hold a position of authority in the government or corporation. That my duty and work is only in the house. If I hear. Let that time reach. If he tries to stop me we can say bye bye.
8. Marriage in the past is not the marriage God made for his people. It is simply slavery of the women folk. Domination of the male gender over the female. That shit they practiced then was NOT marriage QED!
Let me stop here. Ok bye
Because the people involved enter it with different mindset and opinion about marriage.
DeleteMost ladies enters marriage (1)because they desperately want to settle down (2) because dude is rich 4get the essentials of marriage.
On the men's side,they enter into marriage because the lady is beautiful or from a wealthy home.
Do u expect a marriage built upon a sliding foundation 2 last?
It will definitely collapse.
People enter into marriage sometimes because of what they tend to get or should I say because of their own selfish reasons.
They don't put the essential of marriage into consideration.....that is what they really want in their spouse.
Enough said!
4give my typos...no time to prove read
Wrong expectations. When each of d couple expects something different from d other in d marriage
DeletePeople marry 4 d very wrong reasons from age, pressure, money, sex, food, kids etc.
DeletePeople forget compatibility and companionship and very important. Also the fear of God. Cos if you have the fear of God, there are alot of thing you will never do to hurt ur partner.
I just wonder why people marry and get preg in like 2months...it baffles me cos then u wont have enjoyed the marriage. Her mood swings will cm cos of the pregnancy, she gets irritated easily etc, then u start stressing over babies and all.
NB
Dear future wife, in as much as i love kids, my nieces and nephews are enough for now so atleast 1yr after we marry b4 u wee say u r preg biko...i wanna enjoy u very well with undivided attention in my young age b4 kids start coming to put assunder. Thanks
Marriages fail due to lack of understanding, bad temper and greed. How can the wife of an average civil servant want the same car that the chevron man's wife is driving? That's greed and competition.
DeleteHow can a man after 3 kids say his wife is no longer attractive and decides to cheat with some skinny bitch? That's greed too.
Or a lady that cheats cos her husbands dick isn't big didn't she see it before she agreed to marry him? That's greed too. Or your husband goes broke instead of being by him u're finding greener pastures. All greed.
Bad temperament is also one big issue in marriages. Bad temper leads to violence. Both man and woman is guilty of this. A woman get angry and runs her mouth, the guy gets angry too and hit her. Control ur temper, if ur spouse is unable to control his or her's control urs.
Let's be contented with what we have, stop marrying becos of money or fame. Stop marrying cos all ur friend are getting married.
Rush into marriage and I bet u'll rush out.
Destinies differs.
Mine is lack of love, we don't seems to love each others.
DeleteLack of finance, nothing good as come out of it.
Sex, he's a 2minute man, after having first round, his dick won't erect for 2nd round. That's how its going to be until in da next 3weeks before he will have my time again.
There's no kid between us close to 2yrs of marriage.. I'm thinking of leaving him.
Interfering mother in laws from hell.....breaking up homes since forever..
Delete@ Anon 13:56 your head they there. Everything is not prayer you need wisdom as well the kind of marriage our parents practiced many years ago can't be the same as now. Both men and women have to change their mentality to face modern day challenges in marriage.
Delete@anon 14.29: that's unfortunate. But have you told him that the lack of intimacy, love and finance bothers you? I think you should complain and if it gets worse or is still the same then maybe u may consider seperation. But just remember if you are a Christian that your grounds for seperation or divorce are not valid. It's for better for worse unless on the grounds of physical abuse or infidelity.
DeleteLoll @potable Viv u no dey ever get time to 'prove read' wetin illiterate wan 'prove read'? Mkpi
DeleteDidnt u knw he was a 2mins man bfor u married him? No child 2yrs is it his 2mins dats d fault?hw long dos it tke sperm to swim u beta go for check up n drag him down for check up aswell or u go n meet aboki to mix somtin for hes 2mins.....I dunno... mayb na u dey weak d man sef, obago, Na only u waka come.....
DeleteAnon 14:29,this ur own,eleyin gidi gan!! Wahala dey ooo. Serious one!!!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteCommunicating as often as possible and respecting each other.
ReplyDelete@lauretta andra.This is why people fail woefully!'.The question is why Marriages fail!....so invariably what you typed as your over know comment is why marriages fail abi!!..Stella marriages fail because people don't even understand what it is all about in the first place,people marry for the wrong reasons,some see negative signs and still go ahead,living in denial,couples don't even pray together ,couples are not ready to make things work when there are issues...(except of course DV o!) I don't think I can work that one out o!..stella BVS go write the rest abeg.
DeleteOuch!! u forgot the part where Stella asked 'what is the solution'.
DeleteU were so quick to vomit nonsense that u also forgot to read that part. Will u gerrarahere punk!
Referring to @the original
DeleteMumu....cant u just make ur inconsequential comment and move along....it's ms andra's opinion and u should know beta Dan try to insult her....anu ofia
Delete1. Getting married for the wrong reasons.
ReplyDelete2. Lack of tolerance.
shopping, let the married ones say the rest.
See ya!
Waiting for comments
ReplyDeleteHmmm!
Delete1. Most times lack of patience causes divorce- all men have ego, even the lazy ones that a woman is footing his bills, but a woman is too impatient to follow him 'small small'. Most men are babies, a woman should be patient when married...I'm not saying patience when d man has beaten u like 3times o! Pack your load and leave if its domestic violence.
2. 'The buy a new shoe instead of fixing the old shoe' attitude. Marriages in our generation fail becoz both parties feel if it is not working out for them, they can always leave and marry someone else, at the end of the day, none of them wants to work on their difficult marriage. When it gets tough they just up and leave.
3. Our Nigerian culture encourages men to be promiscuous without any consequences, once adultery is involved, the marriage is at the brink of breaking. Women r getting bad also.
4. Parents of nowadays DO NOT TRAIN their children properly, maybe because parents throw their wealth up and down, or don't allow other people in the society correct their children when they go astray. Those days, my mum's friends and fellowship members will see me misbehaving and start beating me till we reach my mother's front, that's not the case again. With all these, parents breed wife beaters, lazy children, bed hoppers, immoral and selfish kids.
5. Technology and foreign influence - children are trained by the media, they see foolish things other cultures portray, they end up picking these habits and becoming hooligans.
#misskay#
DeleteYou make some solid points
A lot of children are growing up not being BROUGHT up (poor or no home training)
The mindset that a man uses to enter marriage. They have been told that they are the head and therefore they should act like such. Some take it to mean, they are the head and should suppress the woman. Women nowadays are entering marriage with the mindset that they contribute almost equally towards the family, no man should try to dictate to them. Even my boyfriend now keeps telling me that I am rude because I try to make my points and pass my opinion. He is always almost short of telling me to shut up. I am just looking at him.....
ReplyDeleteNothing to look at
DeleteIf there is no correction now
It will not go away
No reason! Lol. It just fails. Hahahaa cos some marriages did not fail after passing thru all of the above. They emerged wiser n experienced.
ReplyDeleteLack of love, finances and committing/fidelity.
ReplyDeleteMarriage fails when two people that are not compatible marry each other.
ReplyDeleteI concur
DeleteIt fails cuz they rather run their mouth on social media instead of facing each other. 85% of our mothers face dis violent yet they still married. It called dignity. They believe not only armed roberry is a disgrace. So when they r bn violated they endure. Most of dis days wives r more or less street whore. Any arguement am packing den cookup a story just to b held on social media.
ReplyDeleteYou can't even write goo English..See your mouth like cookup story!
DeleteShame on you, Mr Elmorijah. So you loved the misery our mothers used to be in. You see why I say staying on 'because of the kids' is counter-productive? Because you are invariably sending the message to the children that that's the way to go...and the boys will end up maltreating their wives and believing they should endure it, after all their mother did.....
DeleteHmmmm please go and endure your violence alone. So violence is a must in marriage. Maybe your mother experienced violence, mine didn't and I'm sure many other mothers didn't.
DeleteSo what are you saying?..
DeleteI should stay and endure domestic violent because our mothers did??...
Hian!..
Thunder fire u!!! Just say Amen..
Delete*violence...
DeleteImagine the rant of an uneducated, no English speaking, no proper grammar writing chauvinist.
DeleteThere is no particular reason as to why marriages fail in Nigeria;its actually different strokes for every couple out there..
ReplyDeleteBut in my opinion,i think what tops it most is this two..
1) Lack of love in the marriage which mostly leads to insecurity and infidelity
And
2) Lack of finance to run the home(financial incapability) which probably leads to frustration and with time if the couple dont understand themselves;Hatred coupled with regret sets in and the love dies,then every other thing becomes history..
@MARTINS ABOY
@martins aboy, sometimes I get confused if you're really a young guy or an old man,cos your level of maturity baffles me,you speak wisely compared 2 so many youths of nowadays. Keep it up dear.
DeleteExactly my thought @ anon 19:07.
DeleteHe is full of wisdom.
Married people problem
ReplyDeleteI'm still single af
@chi exotic, single @ 37
DeleteThe power of sex as in love making cannot be over emphasized. Alot of marriages fail because of lack of sex, then communication. If two people ve a good sexual connection, they always find a way to settle their differences.
ReplyDeleteBig lie. My hubby n I make love like rabbits,passionately, still he cheats! We settle until I got myself a side boo. He's so naive,hahahahaaa, he's happy I ain't nagging again,unknown to him, I'm having a swell time n getting paid for it. We lock our phones so it would take a dibia for him to catch a cat like me. Hahahahaaa been 3yrs now with my SB, when I'm tired, I change him. No complaints.
DeleteSex ke?...
DeleteIs sex food?...
Sex without food or the good things of life is rubbish in marriage!...
Will sex sponsor your summer vacation?...
Abeg swerve!...
I think the reason why marriages fail is because when there is little or no understanding between couples, when they can merely tolerate one another without any slightest provocation, when you don't Marry your best friend. When a woman forces a man to marry her or uses pregnancy to try and hook him, all these leads to forceful marriage and when the two partners aren't in love then they start having problems and that could lead to early breakup in marriage. It's like a guy who has a girlfriend in Lagos and loves her so much but the parents insists he must Marry from the village, he eventually gets married to someone he barely knows and their marriage starts having hiccups, whose fault is it?
ReplyDeleteI don't know of others but the only things that can make me leave is domestic violence.
ReplyDeleteI grew up in abusive family and swore not to let any man panel beat me.
Before I got married, I dated a guy that tried to hit me ones and i bet his finger so hard that he started pleading for me to stop. That was the end of that relationship.
Marriage is not a bed of roses. It requires a lot of hard work from both partners.
Humility, obedience, faithfulness and thinking before talking are some of the keys to a successful marriage. Couple should try to overlook some certain things in marriage. Marriage is sweet.
Story!!!!
ReplyDeleteYoung women now believe in themselves. They are not waiting around for husband to bring money for food. They are also bring in the coins hence can't tolerate any domestic violence. Men on the other hand wants more to contribute financial but also sit down at home and take bullshits like our mothers did
ReplyDeleteOur mothers didn't know any better. They has no source of income so they stay in unhappy marriage. Girls, now know that life is too short to waste being unhappy in a marriage.
Deception, money and ojukokoro
ReplyDeleteEnd time couch
ReplyDeleteMarriages fail because the couple recite their vows like it's some nursery rhymes
ReplyDeleteNo respect whatsoever for the institution
Many things leads to a marriage failing
You just listed some
Most marriages have faulty ungodly foundations, when the foundation is bad what can d righteous do?
ReplyDeleteLack of respect and understanding..
ReplyDeleteNo one wants to work on their marriages anymore. The core values have disappeared into thin air. Small problem like this, it's to have an affair. Communication has gone with the wind.
ReplyDeleteMarriages fail because of d parties involved live their lives to other people's standards. It could be d neighbours, d church, in laws, parents, colleagues, friends etc.
ReplyDeleteLack of enough Patient. when the man is angry that when the woman too will be angry
ReplyDeleteThis your gbagz is another reason.
DeleteIt takes one same person to keep a marriage, but I feel it fails because there was no love from one of the spouse
ReplyDeleteYou too no prove read abi?
DeleteAnony, u too no proof read abi?
DeleteDrop his contacts, let me date him so u can leave d marriage. Thanks.
Delete@blackberry I no need to 'proof read' but she needs to 'prove read'.
DeleteGo read potable Viv' statement before sticking your ugly bent snout in what is not your beeswax.
Next time you cross my path, you will regret it, cretin.
Ok stella i hope thjs gets posted.....My reasons are as follows
ReplyDeleteSocial Media :social media has made pple xpect so so very mch that are not in existence.They keep comparing their spouse to that man or woman on social media that looks fab in his picture
Ojukokoro :Wen ure not satisfied with wat u are getting theres bound to be trouble
Misplaced priorities:i ask sm of mt frnds wat dey ask in a man stella ull be shocked...im 28 i hv frnds most of dem are a bit older nd single...nd den i hear he has to be tall broad chested bla bla bla...to me its misplaced priority...Now u marey this tall fine man forgetting oh theres more to marriage than all this fine things u see
Another one is greed ...stella my sister....dis babe on my bbm ...i am not yabbing her buh i am so so sure the kind of xpensive hair dis girl wears her husband cannot afford it...she recently celebrated her30th bday..big bash..its either her husband is tryn so so hars to meet up or she is chukn anoda man.Social media has spoilt many things.they want to wear what iniedo is wearinf or wat mercy aigbe is wearing
If you want ur marriage to last pls pls pls be real..Seek God.Let go of unnecessary diatractions.If na darling yaki ur husband fit buy manage am md be happy.
OGE
What if she works and can afford it herself? You are still in this 'husband buy' mentality? Oschisco
DeleteDollar oh....dollar could be the problem
ReplyDelete355 comment 2016
Buhari is also the problem. Hahaha
DeleteWomen are getting more exposed and educated while men are trying to enforce the continuation of Male domination and inexposure of women. unlike the days of old where damaging information was passed down from mother to daughter i.e my father cheated on/beat my mother so if my husband does same its is normal, a womans role is to sit home and take care of the children and furniture so its my role to do the same women get informed from different sources these days. Formally the girl would grow up thinking in that same line of tot but these days women are getting wiser and empowered. Knowledge is power and men fear their role is being threatened .
ReplyDeleteBecause people marry for wrong reasons, I'm a married woman I have seen that even love is not enough to marry someone, you have to have 100% understanding Fitbit to work,, cuz things r different in marriage, there r thing love can not stop in marriage, so you can imagine when a girl marries a man for money, I have a friend who is getting married to s guy she met on social network, he stays abroad, comes back once in a while,, and doesn't stay more than two weeks,, she go gree take advise? Everyone is getting married so she has to,, tell me how it ll work.
ReplyDeleteI personally think marriages fail because people have too much expectation while going into marriage.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is not another life. It's the same you. The only difference is that you have to incorporate another individual into your life.
Marriages in Nigeria fail simple because of decrease in communication and lack of tolerance. Two people getting divorced those not necessarily mean that they have fallen out of love but the tolerance level has exceeded it elastic limit.
If you say financial situations makes people leave their marriages, I will tell that those leaving their marriages are those who are very comfortable.the struggling ones stay put in it hoping for the best one day.
Infidelity on the side of the woman can contribute to end of marriage afterall it's a man's world where their excesses is seen as normal but not the other way round. I have never heard that a man went on his knees to pray for a cheating wife but I know of so many women who fast and pray for the strange woman in their husbands life to leave and their men return to them.
Finally, most people that wwent into marriages were not really ready for marriage but pressure from family and society made them think it's time for me to get married.
*Does*
DeleteAny marriage that lack fear of God, tolerance, endurance, patience, respect, caring, intimacy is bound to crash.
DeleteSexiest mother, you have summed it all!
DeleteIts actually very few reasons that cause the alarming rate of collapsing marriages, having the minor ones overlooked or seen as insignificant till it hits the bigger card like the domino effect.
ReplyDeleteBelieve it or not, technology is part of the reasons marriages arent anymore rigid.
Nigerians lack the sense of setting priorities straight, constantly putting C before A, maybe bcus it worked for a colleague or you just landed a new job, the next bell ringing will be marriage.
Abeg i de wedding, lemme not jinx it for th latest couple in town, make i stop here.
One of the major issue is finance. When there is no money, most marriages can't withstand it. Another is infidelity.
ReplyDeleteSomeone please help me, I need to get rotring pen before my exams commence. I will provide you with all the evidence you need. Thanks
ReplyDeleteYou are anony and you've left no means of contract or where you stay.
DeleteVicobrown@yahoo.com
DeleteA lot of people rush into marriage without knowing themselves very well and getting fond of each other. In the days of our parents, they courted long and observed each other before making the commitment but these days a lot of people rush into marriage without looking beyond the present. Emotions wear off after a while so what keeps a marriage is are d two people involved ready to stick together no matter what they face or is there an emergency exit for any of d partners if they want to run out. Our parents courted for long and in d process of courting they were taught team play and perseverance but these days some people get married two months after meeting each other, that type of marriage is a gamble, full of uncertainties and most likely susceptible to failure
ReplyDeleteSame reason y it is failing in other countries..women empowerment. It makes women less submissive and feel they can rub shoulders with men. Equality my foot.
ReplyDeleteWomen feels because they have money they forget in a hurry that a man is the head of the family and deserve to be respected.
DeleteMany mothers now leave their motherly duties over to their maid. They have no time for their family. No manner of approach at all.
You are not totally wrong .I preach equality but I still think women are beginning to neglect the Bible given rules for marriage. A submissive woman is the wise one. I have seen homes where wives refer to their husband as Sir and kneel before serving them. Some will scream slavery but the truth is that the men Don't joke with their wives. Sometimes the MIL and others will think it's jazz but the woman knows the secret to a man's heart. I asked alot of men to choose between respect and love; majority of them chose respect. As a working lady, do you differentiate your work and wifely duties or do you leave wifely duties for your maid? Talk for another day.
DeleteI think marriages fail cos of all of the above and more..
ReplyDeleteI think the mistake people make is going into marriage just for the sake of love.
Don't get me wrong, Love is a beautiful thing, and its very important,but love is not enough.
There need to be understanding, patience, tolerance, and most importantly, kindness.
Most couples in "love" are not kind to themselves, they don't understand themselves, the wife is not patient, the husband is not patient, its a recipe for disaster.
Do you know that most of the turbulent marriages,esp the DV filled ones,once started with a relationship and lotsa "I love you" and "I love you more"
Love most times, makes people so blind to see what they ought to have seen.
Love is very important in a marriage, but it should go hand in hand with other virtues.it shouldn't be the sole purpose of a union.
For instance, I'd rather get to know, and get married to someone that I understand perfectly, and who understands me same way.someone that would tolerate all my excessess,someone extremely kind to a fault, someone that I can share comfortable silence with,someone that wouldn't give me financial worries.
I'd choose someone with all of the above, and learn to love the person, over accepting someone that lack those and getting swooned all in the name of "love"
So finally, after all this my epistle, the key to a lasting marriage is understanding and love.and when its lacking, every negative thing that can lead to a marriage collapsing kicks in.
And no, this is not contradicting.
There needs... Not 'need'
DeleteCouples-each other... Not 'themselves'
Who lacks... not 'that lack'
'Getting swooned' seriously? Getting???
Capital letter after every full stop not small letter.
'And this is not contradicting'?????
LMAO!!!!!!
O chim o dem don buy market lollllllllll
DeleteThe problem is so many people enter marriage for the wrong reasons,especially the ladies imagine a lady want to get married because her demographic set of friends are married not because, she has found the right man for her,but because she wants to answer Mrs.
ReplyDeleteI think some marriages fail cos they were not meant to be in d first place. Like when u get married cos ur partner got pregnant and not cos u wanted it or maybe peer pressure and stuff too
ReplyDeleteNot because they re nt meant to be but because many people change after marriage due to one thing or the other. Lack of communication. Lack of tolerance, endurance and all that
DeleteThere are some marriages that were just not meant to be.
DeleteI think lack of communication, and when you don't marry your friend in the first place, cos at times you might fall out of love, but that friendship will keep you both going before the love will rekindle again
ReplyDeleteLack of good communication, infidelity, the feeling from d guys especially that since thev already lured u to marry them..shikenan no meed to fyt for that love again..facing dsame i must say
DeleteBecause people don't want to make efforts anymore... selfish people getting married... people prefer what is gold plated to what is truly gold... and more they tend to put eyes into other people's business forgetting that every Mallam with him own kettle...
ReplyDeleteGreed
ReplyDeleteThank you, Selfishness kills a marriage faster than a bullet. Maybe greed is the right word. *Godliness with contentment is great gain*
DeleteThe problem is so many people enter marriage for the wrong reasons,especially the ladies imagine a lady want to get married because her demographic set of friends are married not because, she has found the right man for her,but because she wants to answer Mrs.before getting married u have to be ready,,, I mean ready if not u will end up been in a failed marriage.
ReplyDeleteI think it's lack of communication, and when you don't marry your friend in the first place, because at times you may fall out of love but that friendship will keep you going before the love rekindle again..
ReplyDeleteEven those that married their best friends still fall apart. When people try to compromise in marriage is when it starts failing because one day you find out that those things you forfeited are what really makes you happy.
DeleteFeminism is on the rise. Our mothers endured polygamy, embraced it, our fathers made it look normal, the sons took the bait n continued with the polygamy race.
ReplyDeleteCheating is on the high side, most girls no longer have shame, flaunts their lovers right into their wife's face, sex is so cheap, all thanks to FWB, hook ups, rich lifestyle, I-want-to-belong.
Communication is dead, women wants equal rights with men, don't know when to keep quiet, don't know how to appease their husbands, don't want to play the fool, both male n female are working hence d need to share responsibilities and finance.
Men feel too big to apologise to their wives, ego, taking their wives quietness, homeliness as been a fool, they wanting too much sexually, all thanks to porn forgetting the fact that all these porn stars are paid, gets high before doing anything and they are doing their FREAKING job. Lil courtesy like opening d door for their wives, please, thank u, carrying their wives when they fall asleep on the couch is no more there.
Social media also has its own contributions : BBM, whatsapp, badoo, Mico, Facebook n d likes. Then, no girl wants to start afresh with any guy, they all want ready made but I don't blame them cos men then to open eye when they are made, forgets when they had nothing, then they know Bisi is beautiful, Shola is endowed, I'm a man, she came to me, I'm human etc.
All in all, marriage is a two way thing and it takes two to tangle plus Marriages these days is just by the grace of God.
Forgetting that most already made guys have someone that was there while they were still cooking.
Delete-Lack of understanding...
ReplyDelete-Women are now wiser and independent...
And lastly,most people of nowadays don't settle their spiritual partners before getting married!....
Spiritual mama.
DeleteWhich one is settle spiritual partner again.
DeleteHow can someone settle his/her spiritual partner? Linda I need answers.
DeleteWhat exactly do u mean by ur last point? U're just an itiboribo.
DeleteBwaaahahhhahha....Linda isi na o spiritual partners kwa??? Nne eh, truly I would to meet you in person....Sometimes,u really make a lot of sense, other times you are comic relief.
DeleteYes,there's no way you would enjoy your marriage if you don't settle your spiritual husbands and wives....
DeleteMost of these spirits penetrate into our homes when we are not prayerful...
They break into our homes through...
-low finances...
-childlessness...
-domestic violence...
-fornication...
-sickness etc..making the couple to be fed up with each other and going for divorce...
Most actors and actresses have these spirits following them...
To overcome these spirits,you have to be born again!...Ezigbote born again!...Asin deeper life kind of born again...no icho nma...
OR
You can settle those spirits through the traditional methods for people wey no get strength for prayers...
This method dosent come cheap oh!...you will spend a lot of money...
Failed parental up bringing.
ReplyDeleteIt is failing because men of today are refusing to accept the fact that women of today are not those of our grandmothers' time. Women now have a say and voice which is infuriating men. They want to be treated as gods and should not be questioned on anything.*yinmu* . FOrtunately or unfortunately women are waking up. They no longer take any dirty dish thrown at them. Especially when they know they have alot going for them. This is my humble submission.
ReplyDeleteWaking up? How exactly are they waking up?
DeleteOur parents endured a lot, that's why their marriage lasted. If you ask them to tell you their journeys in this thing called marriage, no marriage of these days will be able to survive it unless they endure. In those days, a woman that knows her husband is cheating will still be cooking for her husband, but these days who is going to tolerate that? Definitely not me. The word 'divorce' doesn't come to their minds, they keep tolerating, even if they find out, their husband fathered children outside. So be it lack of communication, domestic violence, finance etc, they keep enduring till old age. Ask your parents and they will tell the atrocities of their husbands. I' m gonna borrow a leaf from them, I don't want to have a history of marrying two or more men in my life time, except in the case of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
ReplyDeleteGban
DeleteSo true..we hurriedly left our culture to embrace d western way of life. I Neva new one of my cousins was a child from a concubine.my uncle wife does not v a child of her own.they all lived happily .ahhh na d same story make this lawyer girl take commit murder so.
DeleteSo true..we hurriedly left our culture to embrace d western way of life. I Neva new one of my cousins was a child from a concubine.my uncle wife does not v a child of her own.they all lived happily .ahhh na d same story make this lawyer girl take commit murder so.
DeleteAnd it is proper for a man to father a child outside his home???? And society expects d woman to accept it????
Delete1)The fear of God is missing in the home.
ReplyDelete2) Lack of communication
3)Absence of love- people get married for the wrong reasons ( age, money, prophesies etc )
4) Anger, presumption ( remember that it is a sin) lack of trust.
****100%****
DeleteGbam.
DeleteIt is failing because men of today are refusing to accept the fact that women of today are not those of our grandmothers' time. Women now have a say and voice which is infuriating men. They want to be treated as gods and should not be questioned on anything.*yinmu* . FOrtunately or unfortunately women are waking up. They no longer take any dirty dish thrown at them. Especially when they know they have alot going for them. This is my humble submission.
ReplyDeleteGbam
DeletePoor communication between couples. Infidelity, especially men they usually feel that they can't do without cheating. Finally, finance a huge factor why family crumbles, love is essential but where there is no financial muscle, love tends to jump outta windows.
ReplyDeleteInfidelity.
ReplyDeleteMoney problem kills love faster than anything
ReplyDeleteThe only reason, in which all other reasons are under...is simply that they refuse to include the author of the institution GOD..in running the institution. Full stop.
ReplyDeleteThe only reason, in which all other reasons are under...is simply that they refuse to include the author of the institution GOD..in running the institution. Full stop.
ReplyDeleteSpot on. Any family that fears and respect Gods words will hardly crash.
DeleteI think its greed people are so self centered these days No love anymore.my two cents
ReplyDelete1. The men aren't well prepared or ready for marriage n only get married for dese reasons
ReplyDeleteDey av a gud job
Dere frnds are married too
Pressure from the babe n his own relatives.
2. For the ladies its d same as d above, except for additnal reasons like
Done with university
No future ambition
Old age mentality
I wan born metality
And cos of d stupid lots dat use d term ' aunty gwegs'
I feel if ppl take dia time, n are prepd mentally, emotionally n financially for marriage, even if na only one of d partner, marriages wld turn out better, we wld hear less abt ppl enduring dia marriages.
If a woman is ripe doesnt mean she is ready for marriage.
Even if a man is 50 doesn't mean is prepared for marriage, until wen society get did try dia skull tins won't improve.
Pinkshell,longest time??...
DeleteMarriages fali because of submittion,domestic violence and infidelity and also lack of communication.
ReplyDeletePersonally I feel it's infidelity. Married folks don't even hide it anymore. 90% of married women now cheat with no chill,something our mothers never tried back in the days.
ReplyDeleteThat's what happens when a woman marries a 2 minute guy who has no money. My own reasons for cheating on my husband.
DeleteNope, dat is what happens when a faithful and loyal girl marries a cheat....at some point, she is so broken she dishes him back what he gave.....my own reason for going to start cheating on my husband .
DeleteWhy marry him in three first place
DeleteI think it starts from communication problems coz that's where friendship stops too n breeds all this other secondary causes.a failed marriage is one that lacks true friendship
ReplyDeleteInsecurity is a major challenge while effective communicaton is a key factor in strengthening a relationship.
ReplyDelete1. Ladies are now co-breadwinners. Why will I take shit from a man when I fulfill my God given responsibility and his at the same time? By shit I mean swallow ur infidelity, disrespect, physical abuse etc. Why should I? Just to answer MRS? Not worth it. And I still contribute in paying bills. What exactly is the man bringing to the table?
ReplyDelete2. After seeing the sufferings, pain, shame, tears and embarrassment my mother went through in the hands of my dad. Causing her to develop High Blood Pressure whilst the man is running around hale and hearty with his community penis. I am not ready to go through the same oh Biko. I will not come n die on top man matter. I will rather be alone with my kids. Thank You
3. Sexually Transmitted Diseases full for ground. I love my life
4. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. U sleep with any girl u want and I'm restricted to ur frail I satisfying penis that can't even make me have an orgasm? Biko Waka dey go. When my dildo and vibrator does a better job than you
5. You have an Msc I have an Msc. Why should I accept bullshit and disrespect from you? What makes u superior? A penis? Taa Gerarahere mehn
6. I am willing to make things work if the guy is too. But if he isn't oya bye bye
7. Most women do well in all aspects of life without the "Nigerian" man holding her back. My husband once told me he can't let me do better than him. He can't let me hold a position of authority in the government or corporation. That my duty and work is only in the house. If I hear. Let that time reach. If he tries to stop me we can say bye bye.
8. Marriage in the past is not the marriage God made for his people. It is simply slavery of the women folk. Domination of the male gender over the female. That shit they practiced then was NOT marriage QED!
Let me stop here. Ok bye
Spot on. You made a lot of point
DeleteWow! Your parents really screwed you up. You should have gone for therapy before getting married... Continue like this and your marriage would crash before you have time to say bye bye.
DeleteYou made so much point
DeleteIt's easy. infidelity and domestic violence. If you took away these two issues, I believe 80% of the failed marriages would have survived.
ReplyDeleteI think in Nigeria it has to do with finances,
ReplyDelete80% finances
5% snooping
10% marrying for sentiments
5% thinking thinking will come back
If only women will stop depending on their spouse to give them money for them self and. Family ,if only 80%of Nigeria men will stop gold digging business ,if only both women and men be employed some how
It all balls down to trust and lack of understanding.even siblings fight talk of when two strangers decide to leave 2geda as husband and wife, if dey don't understand each other, wteva tin dey re trying to build or portray can never work.so to my own opinion I fink UNDERSTANDING plays a vital role when it comes to marriage and has to be there for the two parties to stay togeda.*side eyes at stelz*
ReplyDeleteMoney, infidelity..women now know that they do not have stick around for rubbish
ReplyDeleteImmature minds getting married,
ReplyDeleteMarrying for superficial reasons,
Elationships with faulty foundation,
External influences,
Financial difficulties,
Lack of self-control,
Incompatible character,
Religious factors,
Incompatible mentality towards marriage goals,
Lack of team spirit,
Sexual problems,
Unhealthy habits and associations,
Under-valuing of one's spouse,
Infertility and gender choice issues,
Complacency and lack of effort to keep the spark going,
I have arrived mentality plus laziness,
Excessive focus on children at the expense of the couple,
Body changes and unrealistic fantasies,
Insecurity arising from low self esteem,
Abuse of any kind.........major issue now,
Unnecessary comparisons.......tryna keep up with the "Obiageri's"
I might start repeating myself but..............................
Basically,.......Lack of fear of God and his knowledge of the purpose of marriage is the biggest cause of breakdown of marriages.
*Back to sleep....,..okaman by monique seka on replay.......perfect indoor weather.....kisses to the rain*
Well said.
DeleteI want to learn from married couples today
ReplyDeleteLack of communication and respect
ReplyDeleteI think marriages fail in Nigeria because women now realize that marriage isn't everything and so have refused to take shit from anybody in the name of marriage,which is good except that the men have refused to adjust their thinking and attitude.when both parties start treating eachother as equals,with full respect to the responsibilities attached to their respective roles in marriage,then marriages will last.a man should know his job as the head of the family and do it while bearing in mind that his wife's job as his supporter is just as important.if they have a common goal of making their marriage last,this is the only way.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is no longer important to people.subconsciously,they are thinking,if this packs up,I move on.they don't see it as a mission,a life journey.so they enter into it without having the emotional,spiritual and psychological maturity required for this journey.People marry for silly and ephemeral reasons .even what they call love because except there is something rock solid as proof,love is an illusion.the only thing that would make love tangible is a long-lasting marriage.so if really love was your reason,the marriage would be important to both of you as proof that u really did love eachother as u claimed at the beginning.people marry because of the pressure of age.why would they stay together when the pressure is no longer there?some say they can't live without eachother.oya die let's see.
Marriage wahala plenty abeg.govt and exchange rates not helping matters at all.
Lack of communication,love and attention.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm on a serious note, most marriages in nig fail cos we take it too serious, for instance u claim to marry ur best friend yet once u re into the so called marriage u let go of the friendship,the moment u stop seeing ur partner as ur friend everything else fail.
ReplyDelete2ndly, marriage in nig is over rated and most people see it as work instead of agreement,it takes 2 to tangle
3rd is communication, dis is very vital in any union,we have to learn to express ourselves to one another no matter how difficult or insensible d issue may be,by doing so in d right manner. don't pile up hurt against one another n correct in love not harshly.
Lastly is God which ought to come first in all, make it ur foundation as d saying goes the family that prays together stays together.
Am out
Reasons include, and are not limited to :
ReplyDeleteIncompatibility : You know you both cannot agree to disagree, but you go ahead and get married to each other.
Desperation /Peer/Family Pressure :Some people, females especially, because of societal pressure, get married to the wrong people. Most of them then remain in an already failed marriage, because of what people will say.
Infidelity: It's said that all men cheat, but not everyone believes that (I includrd). So imagine where you get married to a man who is supposed to love and respect you, but he refuses to keep his dick in one place; your vagina. Not cool.
Domestic violence : We're usually adviced to try to work things out in our relationships/ marriages ;but not when your significant other, is trying their hand on murder,with your as the victim, on a regular.
Chronic Lying : Some people lose all trust they've got for their spouse, when they discover that the said person, has an affinity for constant lying.
Lack of Communication:This particular one is a relationship killer, be it friendship, dating or marriage. When there's no communication between two people, they gradually become stranger to each other. Plus, it clears the air concerning certain issues, that is, talking about the said issue, rather than sweeping it under or bottling it up.
Broke Asses: Well, I don't need to say much about this one. At least on this blog, we've all seen how lack of finances, or getting married to a lazy person, puts a strain on some people's marriages.
Waiting to read other BVNs' views.
#WhiteDiamondOut
You are so right
DeleteI see a couple of typos.
DeleteMake unu ignore, abeg.
I no dey correct them o...lol.
#WhiteDiamondOut
Infidelity, lack of trust and love
ReplyDeleteI strongly feel that the main reason is because these days, people marry for the wrong reasons such as pressure from peers/parents, wealth, age, etc
ReplyDeleteIf you marry for love, it will be easier to tolerate your loved one's excesses. But if u don't love the person and he or she is messing up, hian... that when you will hear of domestic violence.
If a man loves his wife and cheats on her, his conscience will disturb him but if he doesn't. He can spend his wedding night with another chic
*where my weed at*
Going in for the wrong reasons,when drd is little or no money
ReplyDeleteLike everything in life, it has to do with the foundation. Marriage has to be between two people right for each other and voluntarily getting hitched for the right reasons. You can't be unequally yoked and expect any reasonable progress.
ReplyDeleteUnequally yoked, though a biblical term, can be all encompassing. It happens when a man with high libido settles for a lady who is irked by sex. It could be a lady used to the good life, marrying a man who can barely cover his own expenses let alone hers. It could very well be marrying a partner whose religious beliefs are incongruous with yours. When it comes to marriage, not all opposites attract. The opposites which attact are those which sterm from similar foundation. For example, an introvert who appreciates extroverted activities will blend well with an extrovert.
Personally, I wouldn't advice anybody to get married without being in love with your partner but as profound as love is, sadly, it isn't enough. It must go with compatibility, patience, understanding and the ability or capacity for the man to provide for his home. It's like a cake recipe. Remove 1 item and the cake wouldn't turn out right. Money is very important but so is love. Love is almost indispensable but so is compatibility. For marriage to last, they must go together.
Most people marry for the wrong reasons and with the wrong mindset only to find out months later that fairy tales are usually fiction. That's not to say marriage can't be blissful, it can. After all that's what God intended. However your expectations must be realistic. If you are lucky to marry your prince charming, remember he is the human version of the cartoon character, which means he will certainly get under your skin once in a while so you must learn to be forgiving and vice versa.
I remember counselling a 19 year old girl who wanted to get married to her 33 year old lover. My issue wasn't necessarily the age difference, rather it was that she was way too young in my considered view. Her parents are pastors who, surprisingly, were ok with her decision because they'll rather have her marry a virgin at 19 than "tainted" at 25. So the little darling told me point blank that the reason she wants to get married is to have sex without judgment. Unfortunately 2 years later she threatened suicide if her parents wouldn't swallow their pride and allow her file for divorce and the rest, like they say, is history.
There are many reasons why marriages fail but the major reason is marrying the wrong person for the wrong reasons. The more we evolve, the easier it will get to end a wrong marriage. Unlike in the days of yore when our grannies and great-grannies endured all sorts in order not to shame the family name, we are now more aware that certain conditions trump shame or ridicule.
Ronalda, beautiful piece.
DeleteThis is my first time commenting on this blog and I read thru all d comments bcox I want to marry and I am worried. I wouldn't say scared. If u can leave me ur email I'd appreciate it. U seem like someone who is capable of telling it as it is
DeleteI agree a 100% and more
DeleteHi ronalda, can I have ur mail pls??
DeleteCorruption! The world has corrupted the idea of marriage and given it it's own definition. Now there's nothing modern about marriage. Marriage in itself is an old idea so we must not judge it by contemporary standards. The bedrock and foundation of a good marriage is love and submission. Men do not love their wives and women do not understand submission. Some men take advantage of a woman's submission and women can be disloyal in many circumstances. God says men should love their wives just as Christ does the church and gave his life for it. Then says women should submit to their own husbands and submission means in all things. But come on, submission doesn't mean slavery. Its a divine command. Now as ancient as this may sound, it's the foundation. And many gifts and blessings that come with marriage are tied to it. It's a fundamental principle. To the men, love who you marry. And to the women, submit to that man that God has placed above you. When you do, there's nothing you agree on that'll be impossible.. Money, children, peace, etc.. Seek knowledge before making far reaching decisions. I may not have all the answers, but this is surely the foundation.
ReplyDelete@willie Funny thing is, we humans love to complicate things. The laws given to us in the Bible are all very clear straightforward and SIMPLE. Yet, we must always infuse what is and what isn't. Life is easy if you live it according to the manual specially created for it-the Bible.
DeleteWe should be able to show appreciation to our partner.
ReplyDeleteI feel it's mainly because roles have been interchanged as such both the man and d woman forget their God given duties as man and wife.from the beginning God said :husbands love ur wife and provide for her,wives;honour and respect ur husband.but as roles changed,the woman finds it hard to respect d man if she's d one providing for d home,which is d case in many marriages.hence d beginning of crisis!and d men lately want to eat their cakes and have it:no young man wants to marry a liability wife(as they call it),they all want financially stable ladies.meanwhile in d days of our mothers many of them were housewives!the men catered for and protected them,why won't they be submissive.
ReplyDeleteInfidelity plays a major role.my hubby hasn't slept wit me now 4 2yrs n 3mnths.he neva sleeps at hme.honestly I alwys wish I can leave but whn I tink of my kids I hold bck.we hve been married 4 6yrs wit 2kids.dated him 4 9yrs b4 we got married.married but livng single.I wonder where I get d strength frm 2 still be faithful.its God's grace.hw long can i hold on.God help me!
ReplyDeleteYour marriage is practically over. Your husband is obviously cheating and badly too up to the extent that he doesn't come home. What a shame! If I were u, I would have filed for divorce since. Of what use is it staying in such a marriage , kids or no kids smh
DeleteTell us d full story madam.. Pls watch war room and stop floundering about
DeleteCommunicating with each other 2/4/7,respecting each others privacy ain't the solutions only but communicating with God is the ultimate solution, ,bible says wife be submissive to ur husband and husband love ur wife without fault as Christ loves the chuch,,u can see from that verse that three people wre mentioned, ,the wife,the husband and Christ. Rather than go about spewing ur marital problems up and down if one person is adamantly blunt, just take the issue to God in prayer..marriages collapse coz when two individuals get married they automatically forget about the first priority in their lives which is Christ followed by love and obedience
ReplyDelete1. Desperation to marry out pressure from parents and friends leading you to marry the wrong person
ReplyDelete2. Not working on the friendship aspect thinking only love can sustain
3. Lack of communication
4. Infidelity or broken trust
When a correct Ibo woman claims not to know how to cook and relies on fast food for the husband. No be sey na oyibo Ibo oh. Ogbono, ugha, bitterleaf soup, and co. Didnt your mother train you at all?Its not all about gbenshing in the room. So by the time oga starts looking for home made food, all other things will be added to it.
ReplyDeleteIts not about tribe here cos I too belong to the tribe.
Lol...hmmmn
DeleteThe way you are sounding, you are currently fucking someone's husband but continue and let the full wrath of God come upon you. Stop it now. You will get your fingers burnt
DeleteAnon, are you high you silly piece of shit! I am refering to a family member, mumu Africa. Oya come back here and wank on my reply. Eze umu anumanu.
DeleteTell that to your generation. No fuck people husband again. I know you
Delete
ReplyDelete1) Some people are not looking for love anymore, they are looking for help!
2) Deceit! telling someone you love them when indeed you heart and soul belong to another.
3) Lack of communication and respect
4) Family interference.
5) Witchcraft things
Lack of knowledge of the holy book,self discipline and communication style.These are things my parents do.they will be celebrating their 45th wedding anniversary soon,its has been working for me for the past 15 years.life is not fair and it will never be ..marriage is a risk,just like a partnership biz,whatever effort d partners put into it will determine its success or failure.
ReplyDeleteOkay if domestic violent will be the only reason for you to leave a marriage, wait till all communication ceased and not moving forward in any area of your marriage including trying for a child. And you found out he his a mummy's boy, Mama keeps reminding you that if you offend her son, he would ignore you for as long as possible (when the only thing you did was ask her son to be a man). Enough said.
ReplyDeleteCommunication is very important, If people tells you he is quiet, that he doesn't talk, please take a walk, anyboy can be quiet if they wants to. Ladies, Do not marry because of pity or whatsoever, the regrets will hunt you forever.
Lady!! Don't be shy to ask him qustion about his finances. If he ask you to lend him some money at an early stage of your relation, it mean he hasn't got any saving, so it's up to you.
The list is endless but I think it's only God that can hold a marriage together.
Anon 14:29
ReplyDeleteYou listed 3 factors as your reasons for wanting to walk:
In your words:
Lack of love
Lack of finance
2minute man... I presume Premature ejaculation right?
Firstly,why did you get married? Reflect over what attracted you to that man in the first place..remember how it used to be,the laughter,the love you shared.. within you somewhere,you can still make it work. I believe the choice to love is ours to make.
Secondly concerning your finances. No job? Or the money isn't much? Both of you can still manage with the little that trickles in. If you were used to the good things of life before marriage,you can always lower your standards,look for affordable things for the home... explore options of going to source for food items where it would be cheaper. Let your immediate families(yours and his) know you can't spare much for now so they won't put a strain on the already dwindling income/resources.
Don't try to be like someone else or keep up appearances.
Some wealthy people you see today struggled before they could attain their enviable positions. It is not enough to leave your home for. Pray for breakthrough instead!
Lastly,cases of Premature ejaculation have been treated here severally. Make good use of your data..
Generally,marriage can be amazing if the two parties involved are willing to make it work. But sometimes, one party can still bring back the spark,in this case..it might be you.
As long as he is not abusive or an unrepentant cheat..babe,work on that marriage. Most marriages are worth saving.
You wrote that you are trying to conceive,please see that both of you are making progress financially and emotionally before bringing a child to this world..doesn't have to be 100percent,but make an effort.
Thanks.
Spot on Iphie
DeleteIdigodu 100 Percent right.
first of all, people don't even understand what marriage entails.They marry for the wrong reasons.Nobody wants to admit to any wrong doing,everyone want to be in charge.
ReplyDeletePlease patronize me,i have the latest female and male original UK plimsolls for sale at a very affordable price.Watches,t-shirts and phone covers.BBM:58bfd06f 09095063679
Marriage fails because we only think of now, and not tomorrow. We look for stupid qualities like riches, handsome, beauty, slim, tall etc.
ReplyDeleteWhat will you do if you face financial crisis? If with time any of you gain weight and the physical figure that attracts you changed? All these things we look for in marriages is little compared to what you will experience when reality set in.
Marriages fails because people fall out of love, they can't endure or face any test, e.g TTC, finance or being faithful to their spouse.
Everyone thought it will be rosy always, and we compare our marriage with others, whereas they are pretending to us.
Wrong advice from friends that are going through horrible marriage and wish his/her marriage will be like yours, will be telling you they can't stay or tolerate your spouse nonsense.
Wives will start abusing husband verbally comparing him with his mates due to friends advice, husband will panel beat their wives because that is how you can tame her according to his friends too.This is what leads to domestic violence.
What crashes marriage is lack of patience, endurance, kindness, love and mostly God.
We no longer invite God into marriages or follow his decisions, but we invite family & friends. We did not only follow and apply their decisions, we live our marriage through them.
In conclusion, we look at the outward appearances of the person we want to marry, not what is beneath. There are many wolves in sheep clothing, we are easily carried away with silly things when making our decisions. We live in our own understanding not God's own.
When God has already said d man is the head of d family. So women still wants to drag to b d head. It will fail
ReplyDeleteI'm newly married, marriage is 7/8 months and I feel like I've made a mistake as we are already having it shaky. I think we got married too soon(dated a year+) and for the wrong reasons. We had a long distance relationship all through and didn't really know each other too well even though we thought we did initially. After marriage I have seen so many new personalities in my husband that I didn't see when we were dating. I also think my husband married for companionship than anything else because according to him he was tired of staying alone. I married him because I thought he was responsible and ready to have a family but I was wrong. Sometimes I seat back and wonder if I married a man or a boy. He's the last born of his family and still partly depends on them for certain financial assistances(a red flag that I wish I had payed more attention to but I wasn't worried because I thought he had it under control). He's still running a school program and doesn't work at the moment. Strictly dependent on loans. We have gotten married, I've moved in with him but the lack of adequate finance is hunting us. I know very well that if there was money in this marriage things would have been smooth and life would have been sweet. We can't even have a child and a proper home because there is no money for all these 'luxuries'. Currently I depend on myself and take care of my needs with my own money. My husband doesn't do anything for me. He blames it on his financial situation. My husband is 30 by the way (he's a late bloomer). My point is that finance plays a huge role in the success of a marriage... Love is not enough. Also we both have tempers and when ever we have issues, it's a bit hard to rectify the problem. As a newly married couple we have terrible sex lives. My husband can go weeks without touching me, he's also a one round, 5 minute guy. But I've learnt to overlook all that, it doesn't bother me any more.
ReplyDeleteIn summary, I will emphasize on this , marriages fail because of lack of finance, love , intimacy, understanding, infidelity. One thing is clear these days, many people are not happy in their marriages but they try to cover it up
I swear u just narrated my ordeal. I thought I was reading my story except the age and baby part. Mine is shaky too bcos the hubby expects me to take care of myself and also contribute to d house from my own money. And still worship him like a demi god. Sex is a bore with him but I'm used to it. I just went out and bought vibrators. He lasts less than 5mins and does not believe in foreplay. He just puts his finger into d place and 2seconds later it's his dick and 5mins later it's over. I dread sex with him. I always have to go n apply lubricant in secret cos he doesn't get me wet and it hurts wen I'm dry. His oral sex game is dry i just sleep off sef. Finance- whack. Sex -whack. Getting bored by the day n wondering if I can endure like this forever. As in my life forever with no sexual pleasure. Ha
DeleteI swear u just narrated my ordeal. I thought I was reading my story except the age and baby part. Mine is shaky too bcos the hubby expects me to take care of myself and also contribute to d house from my own money. And still worship him like a demi god. Sex is a bore with him but I'm used to it. I just went out and bought vibrators. He lasts less than 5mins and does not believe in foreplay. He just puts his finger into d place and 2seconds later it's his dick and 5mins later it's over. I dread sex with him. I always have to go n apply lubricant in secret cos he doesn't get me wet and it hurts wen I'm dry. His oral sex game is dry i just sleep off sef. Finance- whack. Sex -whack. Getting bored by the day n wondering if I can endure like this forever. As in my life forever with no sexual pleasure. Ha
DeleteAnon 19:45,
DeleteDidn't you date him before getting married to him or you guys were doing no sex before marriage?...
Carry your cross mehn...remember it's for better and for worse...
Watch war room
DeleteJust because a marriage did not end in divorce does not mean the marriage was a success. Folks need to change their mindset of what a successful marriage is, until that is done there is no point having this discussion.
ReplyDeleteMarriage fails because d men can't stop cheating.
ReplyDeleteMy friend in America married an American White, marriage was going well, he was always open, she cld answer his calls, social media etc.
na so bobo say he's moving to Nigeria, got a job there, she was wondering, even I Nigetian I don't wanna move, it was a 18mth contract, hence he went alone since she was working in d US.
The guy became smthn else having being in Nigeria, started cheating like no 2mrw, dis was a guy dat use to be faithful. He was sleeping with a colleague in d office. He's own is so bad, even when he came on hols, started sleeping with a Ghanian also, she saw his what's app msgs.
She's just tired.
Is dis the way Nigeria even corrupts oyinbo men?
I'm not saying whites don't cheat, but becos d guy started making small change in naija, he lost his head.
My own is sex if u sex me well ull have a happy marriage with me ,if not na hell fire o.
ReplyDeleteStella why don't you make this a personal post for divorced people
ReplyDeleteThey can go anonymous and say why they left their partners or why their partners left them.
There will be a lesson or two to take home...
Hafiza King
Good idea
Delete