NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
PUSHED INTO AN AFFAIR....
Good Day Stella and my fellow BV’s.
I’m a regular blog visitor who actively comments with my name....
I'm going to go straight to the point, I’m 32, married, professional with 4 kids. I met my husband at 20 and got married to him at 24, he was actually my first. We have been through the normal ups and downs but I have always been a good, reserved wife. He has cheated on me on countless occasions, the last one was when my house help told me he’s been pestering her for sex and therefore she can’t stay with me anymore but because of the way I treated her she just wanted to tell me and leave.
This event shattered me, I was suicidal and very depressed but he kept saying she was lying. He always says he’s busy, we don’t spend time together as husband and wife and it is by accident that we even make love sometimes, in short I do not get the love and care that I would want as a wife.
I have tried on countless occasions to talk to him about it but he maintains that since all the kids are boys he needs to build a solid foundation for them. I have talked to his parents about it but no one seems to think it’s a problem.
Well along the way I met a client in my line of work ,he is an MD of a company, married with kids but lives in a different state as his family, about 3 months after I did his work he told me he wanted to have an affair with me knowing my status and me his, I totally abhorred the thought of cheating on my husband so I told him and we were like friends but his constant care, complements and the worst of it was that he would call me almost every night to talk to me to keep me company because my hubby always returns to the house after 12mdnight,did I mention he is an importer who seem to be always busy.
Well after a while I began to feel attached to the guy and kept looking forward to his calls at night, one night we talked and along the line he asked me the last time I had sex which was like a month then, the conversation became kind of erotic and we ended up having phone sex, afterwards I have gone to his house twice, to tell you the truth I love kissing but my husband has not bothered to kiss me in years, he smokes socially and in order for us to kiss I have told him to stop but he isn’t bothered, when I went to the guys house we talked to the extent that I was so emotional, I remembered all the emotional trauma I have gone through with my husband’s cheating ways and when the guy kissed me I just lost control and we ended up making love.
I have developed so much attachment to the man that any day I don’t hear from him I get pissed off, his wife recently came to visit him and I nearly died out of jealousy, he has told me that he wants us to be in a lover-friend kind of relationship keeping in mind that we both have families.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband I just think he has taken me for granted, Stella for the love of God I am just 32,I am crazily intelligent but not geeky,I dress well to suit the occasion I always have on good fragrance and do subtle makeup, why the hell does he have to leave me ‘un-husbanded’ in this age where some men are only attracted to married women, I am ashamed of what I did, I am ashamed that when my kids hear it they might not understand me, I can’t believe that I could fall into the category of women who commit adultery because I have always been a strong willed woman.
I am however surprisingly not a tad bit guilty when it comes to my husband, in fact I have become more accommodating of his neglect and nonchalant attitude and I do not even bother when women call his phone.
The deal is, I am getting so attached to this new man that I practically yearn for him, I know everyone is prone to mistakes, my husband has made his and I have made mine, how do I extract myself from the feelings I am developing for this guy, or should I continue with him to keep me in my marriage.
Thanks Stella.
Make una dey comment,i still dey sleep,i will read comments when i wake up.
Ghem Ghem!
ReplyDeleteStells, please how is this worse than yesterday's narrative? I felt like I had to get intoxicated to continue reading through his write-up.
ReplyDelete#1. Honey pie we are all capable of doing what we thought was impossible, if we are tuned to the right channel and opportunity presents itself. That's the frailty of humanity.
You do see the irony in this, though? Your Mr lover man is the bane of another wife who may have written a similar sob story or is yet to write in, asking for how to win her hubby's affections back. You are doing to her what someone else is doing to you. Your lover isn't as sweet as you think, you've been so starved of love and affection that your senses will over-exaggerate his loving gestures. A married man who has pre-planned a sexual liason with another married woman, is of questionable character and isn't much better than your hubby. The fact that he isn't with his family is not an excuse, if he must cheat, why not do it with a single lady? While we are on this, please resist the delusion that you are the only woman he's bedding apart from his wife. You'll be sorely mistaken. So perish any faux romantic illustration and embrace it for what it is. SEX between two adults! Sweetie, he isn't your prince charming.
The reason you don't feel guilty and even indifferent to your hubby's obvious cheating moves, is because you feel justified. That temporary satisfaction you feel after you embark on a quest for revenge. As women, we need an object of our affections. So once we have something or someone to transfer affections to, we can deal with rejection from anywhere else. You've transferred your affection from your hubby to your lover, so even if you walk in on your hubby getting his freak on, a part of you would even feel glad because in your mind, your affair is further justified. If you make the mistake of falling in love with your lover, it will get to the point where you'll start doing whatever to get rid of your hubby.
The euphoria you feel right now will soon fade into normalcy , then resentment, then conflict and chaos. Like every new relationship, you get intoxicated with emotions and you feel you are with the perfect man who tells you the sweet words your hubby never did, showers you with the affection you crave and generally makes you feel on top of the world, yet he keeps his family intact. Why do you think he chose to have an affair with a married woman? Honey, I'm sure you are a beauty to behold but, I can assure you your beauty was just a bonus to what he really wants. He wants to eat his cake and have it. He has made his intentions known to you that this is purely a sexual relationship after all, both of you have spouses and children which is motive enough to maintain secrecy and he expects no complications when he decides to move on because you have something to lose as well.
You asked how to stop? Sweetie, you can't stop until you are stopped by a heartrending occurrence. That's the painful truth, how do you walk away from a man who just revived your comatose heart, who made you feel things you never felt before? You're old enough to know this is wrong and what's at stake, yet you're driven by passion. I feel bad for you because this will only end badly.
A million likes to ur comment. U ve said it all.
DeleteYou are a genius. Well said.
DeleteI love your write up. Its plain truth.
DeleteIkun jogede Ikun n'redi,Ikun o mo pe oun to dun ni'n pani meaning A squirrel feeling good while eating banana doesn't know sweet things kill.
Ronalda you write well. Quite impressed.
DeleteRonalda my love,oya chop kisses.
Delete@ Poster, you are not your lover's only love, this and many other reasons should make you put a stop to it. May God restore your marriage, and make you happy in it again.
Father Lord, i can't beliv this.let me sleep too am coming back for comments. oriegwu ohh.
ReplyDeleteStells, please nah begin upload comment
ReplyDeleteThis poster just spoke the mind of thousands of women. Some will easily cheat while some will hold on tight because of guilt feelings.
ReplyDeletePoster you shouldn't Have cheated though. Two wrongs don't make a right.
Secondly the same way other women practically took your husband away from you, that is how you are gradually taking another woman's husband.
Madam break it off now before its too late. If your husband finds out, you have alot to loose and believe me that other man will start avoiding you like Otapiapia.
Order for your wedding, birthday and all types of party cakes, chinchin, doughnuts, small chops etc. Click on my blog name to see pictures.
Confess to your husband and take whatever comes your way. Your lover will never leave his wife for you
ReplyDelete@poster I dont blame you at all
ReplyDeleteI mean everyone deserves to be happy
Just go to God in prayers
Retrace your steps and ask Him for forgiveness
Commit your marriage to the hands of God.
Concentrate on your kids and pray for the redemption of your husband's soul.
Believe me you will feel at peace afterwards.
Please discontinue all communications from that man.
It wont be easy but like you stated, you are a strong willed woman.
Some men sha..
The Lord is your muscle.
Plsssssss stay away from him.....he will destroy your home nd u wouldn't want that for your children. Better now than later cos truth be told, he will never leave his family for you as he has made it clear. You are the woman therefore be a good role model to your kids. Ask God for forgiveness and pray for the man you once cared for. *NEVER JUDGE SOMEONE EXCEPT YOU ARE IN THEIR SHOES
ReplyDeleteIphie dearie, no need going under anon. See your life. No na you dey send chronicle
ReplyDeleteThis advice is for everyone who is in a relationship, engaged or married who do not want to cheat. Please do not be close to someone of the opposite sex. God is perfect therefore he cannot make mistakes. There is something special about every human being. You cannot afford to be emotionally,physically or anyhowlly attached to someone else other than your spouse. It is very risky. In fact, it is the recipe for cheating. I always tell my friends, to cheat or not to cheat is ones decision. Poster, make up your mind on what you want. No one can tell you that. You know what, the devil is very tricky. He is on the prowl to destroy families. He actually used what you are lacking in your marriage to lure you to sin. I will not condemn you because we are all sinners and I am no saint. Please desist from what you are doing by respecting God, your self and the sanctity of marriage. Say no to this by severing all communication with this man. That is the only way. I pray that God will open your eyes to see the fruitlessness in the path you are pursuing.
ReplyDeleteDear Lord, I have
No boo
No good job
No money....
I know I should be asking for a boo first because of my age, but what I need most now is a good job for;
Self worth
Self development
Self improvement
Self income
And possibly
Self boo. Lol
Despite all these, I thank You for my life and all you did for me in 2014. Please answer my prayers this 2015. I want to testify to Your goodness and do a bigger dance than shoki ahh for bvs in this blog.
AMEN
My first epistle on this blog. *shinesteeth
Shut up!
ReplyDeleteBled for 5 years?
ReplyDeleteMy sympathies.
Wow! I was once in a relationship with a guy who didn't show he cared and gave me limited attention. Cos he had a host side botches and an army of female friends. I did the honorable thing of ending the relationship cos if we continued till marriage I would have been in this woman's shoes.
ReplyDeletePoster I feel your pain but I dnt support any form of cheating. Worse off is that you don't even have remorse because of the way your hubby treats you. At this point I just pray you have a personal conviction and resolve to end this affair.
Sin is sin..no matter how small.....don't let your husband take u to hell
ReplyDeleteThere is no justification for that......you are married and bound by GOD'S covenant
@Galore
Linda, so you are in support of infidelity??? Pleaseeee, it affects the kids badly... Poster, please stop now before it gets out of hands
ReplyDeleteU get sense at all??? How does dis relate to her predicament?
ReplyDelete@poster, I also got married as a virgin and never thought I would cheat on hubby...truth be told; you can tolerate him or stay in such marriage only if you have a 'companion'... I used the word companion because we all like to have that one person whom we can bare our hearts to and dear hubby isn't available. Be smart in the game and your kids will never get to know about it and please don't fall for them cheap and 'irresponsible' guys.
ReplyDelete#TeamDoItResponsiblyIfYouMust
Romance is dead after only 4 years?
ReplyDeleteWhen oldies celebrating 50 years of marriage are still gbenshing.
And you say you love each other? Something is seriously wrong with one or both of you o.
ewoooo,,jaw drops,hw do u look at ur kids Face wen u come bak 4rm cheating?wont judge u sha oo,i even noticed d tone of advice of dat bvs chronicle oF yesteday nd today's chronicle,lets nt b biase o
ReplyDeleteYippee! Stella...I made it! This is my first comment on your blog since the days of Olofofogal..ya get?
ReplyDeleteNow, to you cheating wife, stop it before you incur the wrath of God. It is bad enough that your husband is cheating, but two wrongs do not make a right.
Talk to your husband and let him know you are being tempted to cheat on him as he is doing to you.. that might help the situation. No guarantees!
Shout out to my favorite bvs - Iphie Dearie, Goldscent Diamond, Patt Ogar, General's wife, Cynthia Iyede, Galore, Jay em...BLOGLORD - I just love your mind! And to all the Anonymous bvs on this blog: God knows your house. lol.
Where is LINDA EZE?
Back to hibernation mode.
Waoooo. Poster? 2wrongs dnt make right. Adultery is not of God,neither is divorce. If u re nt happy in dere,kindly get out of d marriage instead of cheating. U don't kiss ur hubby cos he smokes rite? I guess ur story is only one sided polished just to suit ur reasons4 cheating. Mayb wen asked ur hubby wud av his own bitter tale abt u. Point of correction" I'm a Feminist & i'm on ur side. Pls for sake of those boys(ur kids) make ur marriage work&forget abt dat ur lover frnd,u can do it, thank God its not as if ur hubby abuses u domestically. Also pray,pray&pray for him. Godluck
ReplyDeleteI always shy away from chronicles because i'm too simple minded and emotional and reading this just breaks me even more...Poster, I know you've been hurt, I know you think cheating on your hubby will make you even but its all lies Sis. At the end of the day we all get separate judgements before God in heaven so this has got to stop. Cut all ties with that man you are seeing and try to always control your emotions in situations like this. I don't think there's any man out.there that doesn't cheat,All men at some point cheat. Just go back to being the woman of virtue that you have always been and i know God will see you through in your marriage.
ReplyDeleteI always shy away from chronicles because i'm too simple minded and emotional and reading this just breaks me even more...Poster, I know you've been hurt, I know you think cheating on your hubby will make you even but its all lies Sis. At the end of the day we all get separate judgements before God in heaven so this has got to stop. Cut all ties with that man you are seeing and try to always control your emotions in situations like this. I don't think there's any man out.there that doesn't cheat,All men at some point cheat. Just go back to being the woman of virtue that you have always been and i know God will see you through in your marriage.
ReplyDeleteDidn't u hear dat she has tried to talk to her husband but he has refuse to hear her
ReplyDeleteThe problem with men nowadays is that they are busy with other women while someone else is doing their own assignment.
ReplyDeleteI have confirmed it prince, u do not have sense at all
ReplyDeleteposter!no man or woman who has not walked in ur shoes has any right to judge u.All i will tell u is leave that married man alone.U know why? what if , just what if the ppl hubby is sleeping with outside are also married women?What if they also get jealous cos they think he gives u attention n not them?
ReplyDeleteIf u say its adultery that is sweeting u now , SALT will not say do not do cos u r only asking us so we will help u justify ur actions.
Pls if u must continue leave that poor innocent womans husband alone.
This vomnent got me!!! I know sin robs one of future blessings n causes demotion. Make peace with God. This man's craze shall pass.
ReplyDeleteMy dear I feel u
ReplyDeleteVery funny... To avoid anoda chronicle
ReplyDeleteHmmmm.......... Stella dis one don pass me ohoo am speechless, I won go sleep too cold to much.
ReplyDeleteI believe this case has technically been solved. By admitting she cheated and the morality of not wishing for her children to know, is good a enough reason in admonishing herself.
ReplyDeleteShe has to start disentangling every web of emotional psych the man's aura and aesthetics had entrapped her to.
In admittance, regrettably though. We men do know how to implode a womans mind against her will. To do things ordinarily given the choice again. she'd rather not do.
So with the same zeal and enthusiasm at which she started it, she must end it with aplomb. Two wrongs don't make a right. Her conscience will forever torment her until she makes peace, with her inner-self.
As for me, the man may not be better than her husband. At least we men always go about cheating like dating. The wooing, the calls, the smses, the emails, the care and prioritizing her importance. All of which will end when, he's tired of her.
She should put up with her husband, enhance and maintain her attractiveness then commit his case to God. Sit back and watch the turn around in her marriage. Since there is no battery in the marriage.
The truth is, her husband had always been a chronic and serial cheat. She may have failed to admit or realize it or ignored it to marry him. Hoping that marriage will change and make him responsive. Sadly enough, it never does.
Send ur story, let's read na
ReplyDeleteIf she wants she can birth 10, is it your money? Why so pained? Hian
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmmm. This is why I fear marriage! Everywhere and everyday I hear of cheating and affairs in marriage, what is the point?
ReplyDeleteWhatever happened to sitting down with your spouse and talking to one another? Instead the best solution is to make excuses and open your legs?
This entire write up is justification so that nobody will tell you what done is wrong. For goodness sake, you've said IT yourself that you're incredibly intelligent and have a good job so if you're not happy, why not make a new life for you and them? Or you like suffering?
Marriage isn't by force and if you don't wanna make an effort of fixing it the right way which is respecting your vows and body, then walk away!
Yes I know your husband is cheating but two wrong don't make it right, fix your home before its too late!
That man you're having the affair with does NOT love and respect you - that's the truth! You're a side salad to him.. His main course (his wife) will always be the one to satisfy his every hungry so stop fooling yourself!
Your a WOMAN for crying out loud.. Don't ruin another woman's home because you made the wrong choice in your marriage!
Wise up before its too late.
Goodluvk
my dear I feel your pain and what you are passing through; but just know that two wrongs can not make a right. marriage is not a bed of roses; when we stand in front of the alter and make a pledge before God And man; this the worse; in that pledge you made before God and you have to endure and carry your cross; as you pray and look up to God to change him.everybody has a cross that he is carrying in every marriage; even the couple you see kissing so passionately outside.and anyone that tells you; I have no challenges in my marriage is lying; because we are human and nobody is perfect.that makes me or my spouse humans that err.these short comings we have to bear in our various homes.how will you be able to tell or advice your child to face life challenges without giving in; when you can't hold on.you know our culture and how it holds women to ransom. your husband can be pardoned and accepted by the society but my dear; you will be stoned by the rules that hold our culture.a woman is the pillar of the house; not the men.when they scatter; we fix.why are you helping your husband to scatter your home.IMELU ALU.stop that affair now and mend your ways and your home.with God on your side and patience; you will get your husband bk
ReplyDeleteMen get away with a lot of things we know,especially in Africa..
ReplyDeleteMadam,what if the condom bursts one day and you fall pregnant for this man??
Num 1
Will you tell him and chase his wife away with 2kids? Will he even accept you?
Num 2
Will you pin the child on your hubby and watch him or her grow to unfortunately fall in love with his "sibling" unknowingly?
Num 3
Will you abort the baby and carry a guilty conscience all your days?
Num 4
Will you bear the shame,leave your hubby heavily pregnant,in a custody battle for your 4kids after being termed the "prostitute"
You see why I say women get the worst of the bargain? Go through this questions and make a choice today...
If you have an unsuccessful marriage,make it work or walk!! Do not demean yourself all in the name of feeling unloved. It hurts I know,but your integrity and up rightness is very key...
Thanks for saving me the strength to type what I had in mind.
ReplyDeleteYour comment is funny!!!
ReplyDeleteLmao @ wash your head.
Pele tie
ReplyDelete"A woman holds the marriage" poster na ur hand e dey o.
ReplyDelete"A woman holds the marriage" poster na ur hand e dey o.
ReplyDelete@ Dreyfus,U are so on point,I feel u jare. Good advice.
ReplyDeleteit is funny how this poster paint her story to suit herself and justify her actions, and to gain pity from bvs....and why are you guys not dishing her thesame quality and quantity of insults and curses that usually filled this kind of chronicle when it got to be the other sex?? just asking
ReplyDeleteGod bless you for this.
ReplyDeleteSDK FAN, I see ya!
ReplyDeleteyour name has been added to the register. lol.
welcome to the joint boo!
I roff u #plentyhomo# u are always spot on
ReplyDelete*time
ReplyDeleteLeave and remarry? If only it were that easy. Ibinabo's case is unique and not what usually happens. Remember she's older and has been single way longer than the poster. The poster is 32 years with four boys. Leaving a loveless marriage with kids is hard enough, trying to remarry is 10 x harder.
ReplyDeleteI'm not saying she should remain or not remain but the way the option of divorce is carelessly thrown around once a lady is in a bad marriage, gives the wrong impression about the complexity of a divorce. I wish Stella would put up a post where the pros and cons of divorce will be discussed. Do you realise the stigma society puts on divorced women? They are regarded as deformed and problematic individuals and that's quite unfortunate.
Let's be honest, how would you feel if your son or your brother brings home a 32 year divorced mother of four boys and presents her as his fiancé? Ok, so whose son or brother would you encourage to remarry the poster? Even divorced men still want single never before married, young girls as wives.That's why more emphasis should be laid on marrying the right person. Divorce isn't as easy as most people imagine.
Did she actually make him cheat??
ReplyDeleteHe calls you every night means he does not call his wife.
ReplyDeleteWell, who am i to cast a stone...
#jump and pass
Oga shift
ReplyDeleteOver righteous madam.
Get married first nau
Lobatan oooo .madam divorce your hubby and get a single man to date and have sex with , its not fair on the married colleague's wife.
ReplyDeleteThank GOD say i no dey naija
ReplyDeleteme sef fit don cheat on my hubby because the frustration no be here.
I suggest you leave your client asap! Just try exciting things with your hubby,change your style of dressing,learn new sex styles etc. You guys have been together for quite sometimes now,so it's expected.re ignite the passion do new things to capture your hubby's heart.but do not cheat!
ReplyDeleteWow!!!
ReplyDeleteI am more worried about the comments here.
I feel so bad for u hunny. All these people here judging u and insulting you would probably do worse if in your situation. In my opinion, although what you did might seem "wrong", you needed that attention that your husband wasn't giving u. You spoke to him and his family and yet nothing changed so when u went out and did your thing, small minded women on here start to hurl insults at you. SMH. I feelso bad for women . We are the ones that should always "pray and manage and hope he changes one day" . The man is justified in his behavior but the woman is a wicked whore who should leave her man to cheat, focus on your kids and hope for the best.
ReplyDeleteListen, the only thing you did wrong was cheating WHILE married. You should've left first and then did your thing cos now, you're no better than him even if u did it just once.
I hope you decide what's best for you. Ignore all the insults on here and try to focus on the actual advice. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck.
pls retrace ur steps and ask God to 4give u , then pray 4 ur hubby , ur marriage and see wat God will do in it. most importantly pls lets learn how to pray for D WILL OF GOD in marriage is very important
ReplyDeleteHmmm..the truth is..he won't leave his wife for you so, I don't know what you are rooting in for. Emotional distraction?, love?, attention?..with time, all that is left is self disgust and regrets.. Focus more on God and your children, pray for your husband..there is no justification for sin.
ReplyDeleteIn a society where it is normal to have unfaithful husbands, what other comments does one eeet but judgement upon judgement. Nigerians are bloody hypocrites! Only you can advice yourself lady,
ReplyDeleteNawa 4u.....she's human! U don't need to give mockery advice and I dont blame u ,she wears d shoes and she knows WHR it hurts
ReplyDeleteIf u gonna cheat on hubby,its a perfect tin,buh prepare for the worse...if hubby finds out,u out of the house,can you stand alone?I mean financially...good luck n pls don't ruin another woman's home just becos someone is ruining yours.if you don't have a mind for separation,don't...all d best.Babybeareyes
ReplyDelete1000 likes. Pls I wuld like to add dat u look for someone u can confide in and dat u can pray with, pray AGGREMENT prayer (it works oo) with d person preferably in d mid night btw 12 and 2 am abt ur husband but 1st ask for forgiveness frm God.
ReplyDeleteAll the best
this is not Linda eze....imposter!.Linda's written english has never been so good like the imposter's.
ReplyDeleteWhat about the man? Na your type go dey cheat onn your wife. He goat
ReplyDeleteGive ur advice to the Married men too, y do dey enjoy demoralising women for Gods sake ...some1 that was all lovey dove while u were courting ..then suddenly doesn't find u attractive anymore???
ReplyDeleteHmmn Aunty Ronalda..lol, eku ise opolo. You've said it all....God bless you abundantly!
ReplyDeleteHmmn Aunty Ronalda..lol, eku ise opolo. You've said it all....God bless you abundantly!
ReplyDeleteVery intelligent comment. Everyone has a breaking point. The sole responsibility of sustaining the home should not be on one person especially not the women who men see as weak, emotional bla bla bla. If a man cheats, we ask what the woman wasn't doing to make him look outside. When a woman cheats, we tell her no matter what she shouldn't have done it. Even as she explains what caused it, people are saying she's making up excuses. If a man chooses to explain y he cheats, we immediately turn to the woman and tell her to take note and change. Life is so unfair but sadly, we made it this way.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you.,its the best comment.Just what I wanted to write
ReplyDeleteShe is not making him do anything or didnt you read where he asked her to have an affair with him? Am not in support of this woman or her hubs attitude towards her, ive always said if youre not happy in a marriage n communication cant solve the problem, its best to leave the marriage before seeing other people. Marriage is not a do or die affair and seems to be overrated sometimes. Anybody wey come yarn rubbish under my comment na serious thunder and sango go ruin your lineage!! #inosendpersonthishotafternoon
ReplyDeleteAbi ooo
ReplyDeleteAs a young lady,you were busy giving birth to children,when you could have been working on your marriage.Children can not sustain marriage.BTW,you are now prepared to destroy someone else's home because you are not happy.Leave your friend alone,obviously he cares for his family but still wants you as a side kick.Wake up,its going to end in tears.Work on your man and stop giving foolish excuses for adultery.You must have seen the traces in him before
ReplyDeleteI was looking for 2 comments here, Goldscent's and Genny Baby's.
ReplyDeleteI know Iphie and TGW will be nice, they always are.
Only GD and Genny will 'hammer' the woman very well and I wasn't disappointed.
Na wa! All 'our' epistles don dey disappear small small. Very soon, we'll all just be dropping boring comments.
Shout out to the 'fools' (miserable, unhappy people) who bullied BVs out of their epistles.
You nailed it@May.cut all kind communication either via bbm,phonecalls etc.
ReplyDeleteSeek for forgiveness cos oonly him can forgive.
Concentrate more on your children and get involve in church activities.join the married women department in your church or mosque.
May God see you through.
chei. bros jupiter don dey spoil o
ReplyDeleteIf that young man falls in love with you,you are finished. So stick to the married guy
ReplyDeleteOur messed up Nigerian culture frowns on divorce especially wen it's d woman dat z doin d divorcing! Poster na onli u wana come, beta detach ur so kald emotional 'feelings' and knw wt to do wv ur life o. If na divorce u go divorce, divorce n face d world boldly rada dan bringing shame to womanhood in d name f retaliation
ReplyDelete@ poster ..have u seen d movie "temptations" by Tyler Perry.....this movie is my advice for you...if you've not seen it ...please go find and watch it ...
ReplyDeleteChei.
ReplyDeleteShe is roasting o.
No sex,no kisses
Withdraw from your lover
The man is even more sensible than you
My dear,conji is a bastard
but hold yasef u hear.
Hmmmmmm Stella no space for that your bed I for join you sleep come dey wait for comment because this one pass me
ReplyDeleteWow. Broke ass to broke ass?.
ReplyDeleteAnother ukwu sugat
ReplyDeletePoster you need external intervention in your marriage, any elderly fellow in ur FAM? To worsen d whole mess he's not available for intensed communication, sigh. I do not support wrong act of any sort but urs is very much understandable, still you going d wrong way. First, try to distant ursrlf from ur lover man, it will be hard and gon take a while but you can do it! Also think you need God in ur family its obvious something is lacking in ur home..may God help you to make the right decision and do that which is right in his eyes.
ReplyDeleteEvil woman, there you are cheating with another woman's husband and complaining of your husband. FUCK OFF!
ReplyDeleteNah wah oh what generation of married women do we now have. This is scary. Make una dey fear God oh. I just can't deal
ReplyDeleteWell said. I haf always said it dat d problem we haf in ds world is WOMEN! Women no longer gv a fuck abt anifin. Dat a man z cheating z woman(aw can u sae yes to a man knwin fully he z marid?) dat homes r breaking ds daes, d 'causers' r WOMEN! Y can't we women learn Hw to sae no to d devilish men folks n maintain some peace in ds world? We rili nid to start being WOMEN like God intended us to be
ReplyDeletePls why is nobody asking for IHN,? I'm tired of refreshing
ReplyDeleteWORD! Juicy bebe you've bluntly said it all and then some. Even i have picked up some words of advice
ReplyDeleteWooow.... Exactly
ReplyDeleteThis is a very brilliant comment @Tilda Touch
Your lover is there asking you the last time you made love while his wife is starving. Dirty people.
ReplyDeleteThis matter tie wrapper,adultery is a sin unless Gos has wiped it off his list recently lol
ReplyDelete#slapsBlogLordhard
ReplyDeleteWetin you talk?
Sha,many women have done what you did,Poster. So the decision lies with you.
Do you want more illicit orgasms or do you want otherwise?.
Stolen coitus is termed sweet but the consequemces no be here o.
My advice: Quit or at most,ONE FOR THE ROAD AND YOU ARE OFF.
Very soon this whole bull shit will blow up, your husband will throw you out, you will come back to us with an edited version of part 2 of your unscripted drama. Continue ( in Patience Jonathan's voice)
ReplyDeletewow! no blames o cos we are all human and we look for care and attention sometimes searching and finding the it the wrong places
ReplyDeleteAs the deed has been done,you need weigh ur pros and cons. What do you stand to loose if you are caught and will it be worth the benefits of this affair. Cos weather you ike it on not,one day one day fowl yansh go open.hehe. The way its looking,this dude you are having an affair with will not leave his family for you,so smarten up. You of all people should know that a woman caught cheating is worse than a man cheating. My advice to you is to fix what is wrong in your marriage.
@Goldscent tho,loooool the last sentence got me cracked up...just so u knw i just developed a tad bit of crush on u
ReplyDeleteI wont judge u but Pls stop sleeping with your married friend. Do not allow your husband's attitude frustrate you,engage in things that woulld take ur mind off his attitude,learn new things,be more commited with church activities,. It takes the grace of God to live with such a man and not cheat. I know a woman wit a similar issue,the husband didnt touch her for 2yrs too,thank God for answering the prayer of that woman,the husband doesnt allow her rest.
ReplyDeleteMadam poster I use the name of God beg u,pls and pls stop whatever it is you are doing with that married man,continue looking for ways to make your marriage work. Try midnight prayer for 14days(with fasting and faith) and leave the rest for God to handle.
One thing I know is that people always look for flimsy reasons to justify their cheating behaviour. Anyway man or woman that is cheating, has reasons for doing it jn other yo sleep well at night. I bet you madam , cheating has always been in your blood system hence you were only looking for the opportunity which has just presented itself. You love your husband indeed yet you chat on him. Wait until your husband catches you then you will know if your fellow adulterer will take you in. The man is only fooling you.
ReplyDeleteAs in eh,dont mind her
ReplyDeleteYou are obviously not happy in your marriage. Why not take the easy way out? Talk to your lawyers.
ReplyDeleteRun off with your man friend/lover & break his marriage.
Maybe you'd find the happiness that has eluded you.
I bet u,you don't take the trophy!
Good luck 🍀.
luv u joor, heheeheeee.am married with kids and l cheat now,mehn.its fun to b a side chic jor..live and lets live,men cheats all d time now women av taken over,,u will feel younger,sexier,oh d phone sex tin is out of d world,,my hubby too comes home late,Sweethrt,l dnt miss u no more
ReplyDeleteWhat do you want us to tell you? Clearly you aren't ready to stop. you have developed feelings for him to the point of being jealous of his wife. If every woman with a cheating spouse decided to cheat, what becomes of the children they are raising? What values will you impact in your kids?
ReplyDeleteAnyway you alone know how you started it and if you truly desire to end it, then find a way... Where there is a will, there will always be a way..
What do you want us to tell you? Clearly you aren't ready to stop. you have developed feelings for him to the point of being jealous of his wife. If every woman with a cheating spouse decided to cheat, what becomes of the children they are raising? What values will you impact in your kids?
ReplyDeleteAnyway you alone know how you started it and if you truly desire to end it, then find a way... Where there is a will, there will always be a way..
Abi? Ur husbnd dsnt evn regard u.
ReplyDeleteTilda touch, your comment makes alot of sense,this is the type of comment that comes from people with common sense only.
ReplyDelete......I say this one is strong. Bring the holy cane.
ReplyDeleteMadam poster, it is wrong hoo haa. Leave another woman's horseband.
Gbam. .gbamer....gbamest. Abeg chop e- knuckle
ReplyDeleteLmaooo! Stella dey sleep by this time. If I hear! Shit happens, I will not judge you. But i'll advice you do what makes you happy
ReplyDeleteStory For the Gods. Guessing u just got married. Soon ur song go change. We would be here waiting.
ReplyDeleteShut up, what do u know about marriage. Talking nonsense
ReplyDeleteAnyway poster, you can declined from this act, is possible I have been there, I experienced the same thing even more than, yours is a month, i do stay out of sex for 4/6months, and here in d office with so much pressure from bossman and some other guys.
ReplyDeleteBut I have to asked God for mercy, fasted, prayed and asked the holy spirit to help me, because once I remember the way the guys looks, his action, romance, sweet names, care, pamper, i will be wet, i long to be with him at all time, his family stays abroad.
I had talk with him that my spiritual life has dropped I cannot pray effectively any longer because of sin, that I want us to be just friend no string attached, tho it was hard but it worked, we stopped seeing in closed doors but an open place where nothing can happen.
God helping me today the feelings by God's grace has dropped. tho I still not get the love I desire from my hubby but I have to live for Christ and for my children and for me to pray and get answers. what some of us face in the hand of men or man you loved with all your heart and life is unimaginable, Poster do you know my hubby supposed to loved me piecesly, because I pay all his bills from house rent to feeding, children's' welling and well-fare, their academics, clothing,and my aged mum and sibling, but i dont get to be appreciated not even for once, and this I have been doing since 2009,I cant remember when last I dressed my hubby looked at me and say u are beautiful, or you look good, or I love you or the year he kissed me last, sex once he penetrate 2 scds he is out, and I will be burning inside me, who do I tell, God help me not to defile myself again, and he has really done that.
Try God and i am very convinced he will help, but you have to stop, because nothing is forever, in this world leave now the ovation is high, and he will forever appreciate you than both of you sticking together for too long till you start finding faults from each other and the love go sower.
A stitch in time saves nine.
God bless you.
Dear poster,its bad enough that the kids have one cheating parent but two is catastrophic.How will your kids grow up to be responsible adults if they find out that both their parents desecrated the sanctity of marriage.
ReplyDeleteIts tough and we all understand but for the sake of the kids you have to end the relationship
In another light,the same way your husband pushed you to adultery is the exact same way you are pushing the man's wife to adultery.So let's say the woman notices that her husband is cheating and as a result begins to sleep with another married man,then this other married man's wife finds out and begins to have sex with another married man and on and on and on,the cycle continue,what then is the essence of marriage?
I'm 23 and unmarried so its easier for me to say but I don't think I'll want my kids to grow up knowing that their parents were both dysfunctional.that what makes for delinquents in the society
You have sinned but God has not condemned you.Go to him on confession and then cut off connections with the man and concentrate on being a role model to your sons so that their wives will not come to you to complain about such irresponsibilities.May God help you
**lululiscious**
Poster stop d relationship.in d end,wat u hav is between you and God and he will giv u no excuse for cheating.i am an evidence of a child whose father is a chronic womanizer dat we thot it was ok for a man to be comin bak from work around 3am.it got bad dat we were grown UPS and we still hear him making love calls to his gfs while my mum was busy being a saint and not dat she told us abt his ways oh.we actually grew up and found out.someone who has not had xes with his wife for 20 yrs and yes dey say body no be firewood but in dis case my mums body was one..so my dear wat I'm trying to say is dat as der children..knowing wat is going on and we hav tried so much to stop him but no way.but one thing dat he didn't know he was doin was he made us develop an undying love for mum and an undying hatred for him cos both financial support he had it zero for us.u wouldn't wish dat kind of hatred from ur children trust me.because if u continue like dis..it will get to a point wen dia colleagues will be gisting Dem wat dia parents gisted Dem abt u guys and ur bad ways and where dey saw u or ur hubby in anoda hotels.dats my opinion..ok bye
ReplyDeleteMadam! You are worst than your husband, and yes I said "worst." What type of rubbish is this! Is it his wife that made you unhusbanded. Oh you've not had sex in a month and you think you re suffering? Go and ask those married women that have not touched or being touched in two years and still keep their legs closed. You re disgusting! Yes, you're. You re doing the same thing those women did to you and even worse because most likely your husband's GFs are single and if they are married you've reduced your self to their crass level.
ReplyDeleteYou're breaking someone else's home. A man that has respect for you, for God and for the institution of marriage that he is in will not ask you for an affair.A mother of four? Are you kidding me! If this man was single, I would have said what is good for the goose is good for the gander, and that revenge is best served cold and it's also a bitch too so you can go on but he is fucken married!!!!!!!!! to a woman like yourself with kids like you have and you have the effontery to say you were jealous when his lawfully wedded wife, the one he loves and respects came back to her husband. What nonsense? I'm so pissed ATM, I can't deal.
Oh madam BTW when your husband and kids find out, you're so in deep shit and mr lover married man's wife would still stay with him and you'll be sooooooooo goooooonnne from your home, and trust they will find out. I don't care that you sleep with men apart from your husband if they were single and for revenge but this is more than revenge, you're even in love with another's husband?!
Besides that married man is a weakling, he connot preposition single girls that have a ton of options for an affair because he knows he will have to spend on them and they entail a lot of work, he went for a vulnerable married woman and you poster being very myopic couldn't process and think and you let loose. He just got you where he wanted! Urrrgggggghhhhhh, I hate adultery! When I say every time that marriage is not for everybody, they say I should pack one side.
Ask women that have been married to their husbands and have been very faithful if it's every day, they make love. Mehn this is irritating! Stella please stop sending in these chronicles biko, that's how I read one yesterday of a man sleeping with his best friend's wife, there was also one on the ranting post that said she is fucking her boss, whose wife is her friend and her hubby is out of town and she thinks she's pregnant, so BVs should pray, like what????! Biko what is it?! I'm no saint ooo, but I hate it when people walk into the devil's house and don't expect to dine, like they didn't walk in there themselves.
I don't even get this whole issue of revenge by cheating back? I thought you didn't do certain things because of the fear of God not because of man.Youre even asking us if you should continue? I bet you're not the only one he calls at night, you're probably last on the list after single ladies without KIDS, then baby mamas followed by married women without kids then you! A man that can asked you in plain terms for an affair cares for nobody but himself! So please drop the he is caring part! I just pity you if that his wife is a prayer warrior and a faithful wife one too, when things start going wrong in your life and that of your children's you would not know what hit you.
My advice? Continue fucking a married man that sees you only as what you presented yourself to be, a sex tool to pick at leisure.Mistchewww.
Don't concentrate on the typos, they are a lot.
Genny baby, today I confirm you to be a very smart and intelligent woman. I made my comment above even without reading yours but you have clearly highlighted the same points I made. The man is just using her lol. Who doesn't like free p**sy ? I wonder how daft some people can be. Cheating has always been in her but she hasn't had that chance. Now she's got the chance, she is looking for every reason to justify her actions. Woman, write this down , If your husband catches you , you would wish you never started this affair. The love you claim to feel for that man will soon clear from your eyes when you are caught. Just see how you are using your hands to destroy your home.
ReplyDeleteShut d hell up. She was pushed. Can u tke ur man sexin or wantin to sex ur maid? Shes an adult in an understndin relationship she ddnt put a gun to d mans head
ReplyDeleteGOD BLESS YOU FOR THIS COMMENT
ReplyDelete@ Anon 12.48 as a married woman I can't even start to imagine what y'all are going through cos I know it much be pretty difficult but that said I remember reading something a counselor wrote 'No adulterer is ever Happy' I am happy 4 u that you have not done your own so pls rather than even think of it draw closer to God n pray more. When I have issues with my DH that is when I draw even closer to God so I can by God's grace overcome any temptation. Pray 4 God to change your circumstance financially n otherwise.
ReplyDeleteYes but it was accum Conji do the Woman. She should repent, Ask God for his Mercy and stay away from the Man
ReplyDeleteSo mastubation is nt a sin? Ok na
ReplyDeleteare Ruling** Thank me later. am sure its Typo
ReplyDeleteYou are a good writter. Always look forward to read ur comments
Epele o mother Theresa
ReplyDeleteNhgfdbbvxdrtuiiibvfxsaryhj did you understand that?I guess not!rubbish that's what you just spewed from that pit u call mouth
ReplyDeleteWho made u a judge over anyone?
Anybody could make mistake, no one is perfect, all you do is type shit with your leprosy infested fingers!
Just pray you don't find yourself in a very daring situation so that u wouldn't have to come back here to read your comments again and see how stupid you've been with it
The least you could have done was to give a consoling advice to a married sister like you!
You'd come here and be forming your husband loves u and your kids, how's that our business?! Even if his a beast u go tell us? Abeg take several seats jare..Mrs advicer, no be only mark your word one day your word go mark you, mtchewww
And to every other person condemning the poster are you holy? Please you guys should take a chill pill biko
The way you guys reason is so sickening!
Judgemental fools
Loool, u definetly av read d 50 shades triilogy.......
ReplyDeleteBest advice so far
ReplyDelete1000 likes.... Too many chief judges in d world,wit worst skeletons.
ReplyDeleteGenny u have said it all but u were to harsh ooo
ReplyDeleteStella Oge the Badooo
ReplyDeleteI can see why u reason this way because you live in Jupiter. Come to Earth and face reality of Life
ReplyDeleteIts ok for a man to cheat but a woman cant, cos shes super woman abi? Crazy ppl in d world judging up nd down. Awon were. Madam poster, pls go on likw 3 mnths vacation to gt ur groove bck. It helps. May God mend ur home. Dnt listen to d fools dat tear ppl down on dis blog. Quit seein dat man nd go on a vac to clear ur head. God b wit u
ReplyDeleteHmmmm I understand where u r coming from. D disadvantages of what u r doing out weighs d advantages pls stop nau it will be hard for u to do because u r used to d man but for ur kids sake find the will power and stop it completely the man u r risking ur tomorrow for is not worth it.please stop
ReplyDeleteStory of my life. I thought I was the only one in this kind of situation.
ReplyDeleteThough my conscience never allow me try anything with him.
I burn in the nights. Desperately seeking that which I can't have and not having that which am entitled to.
I pray for grace each time I start wandering.
Anyone who is not in this kind of situation can never understand.
Poster, be careful because illegal things are always sweet.
Anon12:26, pls tell dis hypocrist on dis blog to shut up, eg, Stella I dey ur side, Stella move make I follow u lay down, Stella move make I follow u sleep, Stella u have said it all, stella bla bla bla, PLS IF U ARE NOT MARRIED, PLS AND PLS DONT COMMENT ON DIS CHRONICLE,, WHAT DO U SINGLES KNOW ABOUT MARRIAGE, and d annoying part is dat d married ones here will keep on sending E hug, E kisses, na wa, general wife, Genny and Co married women, you pple should always say d true now, pls my sis leave dat ur marriage u hear, general wife, do u know why she is falling in love with d man friend, becos d man is showing her love and affection, dat her husband is not showing her anymore , dat is women for you. Madam poster pls don't fall in love uselessly, respect urself and behave urself ok. At least u work, not like some house wives in dis blog. Sorry I would have used my blog id to comment, but Mr husband visit Stella's blog and he would go tru d comment section. Anybody way wan follow Stella sleep, u are welcome to do dat
ReplyDeleteStella this one pass you... lmfaoooo!I love you jo!
ReplyDelete"Should incase" kwa???
ReplyDeleteWhat a grammar!!
Dokinta, you go school ni?
I just love you TGW and Irene B. I always love to read u two comments. And u always reply so maturely and sensibly. One Love. The GOC's Wife
ReplyDeleteWhich kind. Pray, Ohhh please, this men can frustrate someone,mine is close and the worst sef,i have just a child,beautiful and kind, to a fault, to an xtenten I'm 90percent a wife, mother, and a bestfriend, yet, this fool and an idiot choose to treat me like what I don't know, there's no day I step out without cars stopping and yet I choose to be a good wife, I never intend cheating on my husband but this year, im not only gonna cheat with one I will deal with him, the depression and anger wants me want to kill him one of those nights he comes in late, im a proud beautiful,intelligent woman,with a masters, I do business and I all the family burden lies on me, Infact eh, pray fire! I'm done praying for the animal, he can go on and do his rubish, I will only pray for my dear daughter and one day, soonest,I will boldly stupidly walk away from the frustrating bondage I call marriage, my dear, life taya me abeg! At my age I now look older because of depression,stress, biterness,anger, loneliness! God forbid! 2015 my mind is so made up, and if he tried to provoke me before I leave,i will disfigure him before I leaven with the anger in me! I swear down
ReplyDeleteOsheeeee! Chief Judge of the entire universe.
ReplyDeleteOk, amma say it like it is. Your husband is selfish and insensitive. He isn't fit to be a husband or a father. You probably married the wrong person. And you? You got loose character maam. The virtue of a woman lies in her ability to keep her self for her husband alone, regardless of the situation. A divorce would have been more honorable. So i am right if i say you lack virtue.
ReplyDeleteAs for your lover, well he isnt better than your horseband. His wife is probably as emotionally and physically starved as you are. Its just a ridiculous cycle!
Well she must not be like other women. What if her personality is kiss kiss?
ReplyDeleteIn summary, Your horseband is selfish and insensitive. You lack virtue and your lover is an opportunist
ReplyDeleteAnybody that judges this woman harshly is a hypocrite, and knowing the kind of hypocrites we have in Naija, I expect a lot or rubbish answers.
ReplyDeleteNow,madam, sorry for your circumstances. It is not easy. YOu are a neglected woman.
My advice is this: continue at your own peril. Why? well, because you are in Naija( I assume) and if they ever catch you na you go suffer pass.
However, if you have a good job (oil and gas or solid business), I advice you to leave and move on with your life as long as you can ensure that you will have access to your kids. If you have no stable source of income, then wait until your youngest is 16 years old or thereabouts and then move on. Stay strong. All the best.
Hehehe
ReplyDeleteYou couldn't have said it any better. Marriage na license to fuck na. Abi how una see am?
ReplyDeleteThe woman has needs too. Only person wey wear the shoe sabi where e dey pain am.
Well if you ask me. I think you should upgrade. Since its purely a sex thing, go professional, pay someone to oil and service your engine, no strings attached, it will reduce the possibility of you getting caught and useless drama. Since your husband is unrepentant, make yourself scarce too, enjoy your life, protect your children and brace yourself for the worst because nothing is cast in diamond and/or fool proof.
That's all I have to say about the matter. Uwa wu otu mbia!
Shalla to all the chief judges in this platform o! Una dey try.
Anyway poster, you can declined from this act, is possible I have been there, I experienced the same thing even more than, yours is a month, i do stay out of sex for 4/6months, and here in d office with so much pressure from bossman and some other guys.
ReplyDeleteBut I have to asked God for mercy, fasted, prayed and asked the holy spirit to help me, because once I remember the way the guys looks, his action, romance, sweet names, care, pamper, i will be wet, i long to be with him at all time, his family stays abroad.
I had talk with him that my spiritual life has dropped I cannot pray effectively any longer because of sin, that I want us to be just friend no string attached, tho it was hard but it worked, we stopped seeing in closed doors but an open place where nothing can happen.
God helping me today the feelings by God's grace has dropped. tho I still not get the love I desire from my hubby but I have to live for Christ and for my children and for me to pray and get answers. what some of us face in the hand of men or man you loved with all your heart and life is unimaginable, Poster do you know my hubby supposed to loved me piecesly, because I pay all his bills from house rent to feeding, children's' welling and well-fare, their academics, clothing,and my aged mum and sibling, but i dont get to be appreciated not even for once, and this I have been doing since 2009,I cant remember when last I dressed my hubby looked at me and say u are beautiful, or you look good, or I love you or the year he kissed me last, sex once he penetrate 2 scds he is out, and I will be burning inside me, who do I tell, God help me not to defile myself again, and he has really done that.
Try God and i am very convinced he will help, but you have to stop, because nothing is forever, in this world leave now the ovation is high, and he will forever appreciate you than both of you sticking together for too long till you start finding faults from each other and the love go sower.
A stitch in time saves nine.
God bless you.
Anyway poster, you can declined from this act, is possible I have been there, I experienced the same thing even more than, yours is a month, i do stay out of sex for 4/6months, and here in d office with so much pressure from bossman and some other guys.
ReplyDeleteBut I have to asked God for mercy, fasted, prayed and asked the holy spirit to help me, because once I remember the way the guys looks, his action, romance, sweet names, care, pamper, i will be wet, i long to be with him at all time, his family stays abroad.
I had talk with him that my spiritual life has dropped I cannot pray effectively any longer because of sin, that I want us to be just friend no string attached, tho it was hard but it worked, we stopped seeing in closed doors but an open place where nothing can happen.
God helping me today the feelings by God's grace has dropped. tho I still not get the love I desire from my hubby but I have to live for Christ and for my children and for me to pray and get answers. what some of us face in the hand of men or man you loved with all your heart and life is unimaginable, Poster do you know my hubby supposed to loved me piecesly, because I pay all his bills from house rent to feeding, children's' welling and well-fare, their academics, clothing,and my aged mum and sibling, but i dont get to be appreciated not even for once, and this I have been doing since 2009,I cant remember when last I dressed my hubby looked at me and say u are beautiful, or you look good, or I love you or the year he kissed me last, sex once he penetrate 2 scds he is out, and I will be burning inside me, who do I tell, God help me not to defile myself again, and he has really done that.
Try God and i am very convinced he will help, but you have to stop, because nothing is forever, in this world leave now the ovation is high, and he will forever appreciate you than both of you sticking together for too long till you start finding faults from each other and the love go sower.
A stitch in time saves nine.
God bless you.
Haaa? Lol this eedreams na case
ReplyDeleteAnyway poster, you can declined from this act, is possible I have been there, I experienced the same thing even more than, yours is a month, i do stay out of sex for 4/6months, and here in d office with so much pressure from bossman and some other guys.
ReplyDeleteBut I have to asked God for mercy, fasted, prayed and asked the holy spirit to help me, because once I remember the way the guys looks, his action, romance, sweet names, care, pamper, i will be wet, i long to be with him at all time, his family stays abroad.
I had talk with him that my spiritual life has dropped I cannot pray effectively any longer because of sin, that I want us to be just friend no string attached, tho it was hard but it worked, we stopped seeing in closed doors but an open place where nothing can happen.
God helping me today the feelings by God's grace has dropped. tho I still not get the love I desire from my hubby but I have to live for Christ and for my children and for me to pray and get answers. what some of us face in the hand of men or man you loved with all your heart and life is unimaginable, Poster do you know my hubby supposed to loved me piecesly, because I pay all his bills from house rent to feeding, children's' welling and well-fare, their academics, clothing,and my aged mum and sibling, but i dont get to be appreciated not even for once, and this I have been doing since 2009,I cant remember when last I dressed my hubby looked at me and say u are beautiful, or you look good, or I love you or the year he kissed me last, sex once he penetrate 2 scds he is out, and I will be burning inside me, who do I tell, God help me not to defile myself again, and he has really done that.
Try God and i am very convinced he will help, but you have to stop, because nothing is forever, in this world leave now the ovation is high, and he will forever appreciate you than both of you sticking together for too long till you start finding faults from each other and the love go sower.
A stitch in time saves nine.
God bless you.
Anyway poster, you can declined from this act, is possible I have been there, I experienced the same thing even more than, yours is a month, i do stay out of sex for 4/6months, and here in d office with so much pressure from bossman and some other guys.
ReplyDeleteBut I have to asked God for mercy, fasted, prayed and asked the holy spirit to help me, because once I remember the way the guys looks, his action, romance, sweet names, care, pamper, i will be wet, i long to be with him at all time, his family stays abroad.
I had talk with him that my spiritual life has dropped I cannot pray effectively any longer because of sin, that I want us to be just friend no string attached, tho it was hard but it worked, we stopped seeing in closed doors but an open place where nothing can happen.
God helping me today the feelings by God's grace has dropped. tho I still not get the love I desire from my hubby but I have to live for Christ and for my children and for me to pray and get answers. what some of us face in the hand of men or man you loved with all your heart and life is unimaginable, Poster do you know my hubby supposed to loved me piecesly, because I pay all his bills from house rent to feeding, children's' welling and well-fare, their academics, clothing,and my aged mum and sibling, but i dont get to be appreciated not even for once, and this I have been doing since 2009,I cant remember when last I dressed my hubby looked at me and say u are beautiful, or you look good, or I love you or the year he kissed me last, sex once he penetrate 2 scds he is out, and I will be burning inside me, who do I tell, God help me not to defile myself again, and he has really done that.
Try God and i am very convinced he will help, but you have to stop, because nothing is forever, in this world leave now the ovation is high, and he will forever appreciate you than both of you sticking together for too long till you start finding faults from each other and the love go sower.
A stitch in time saves nine.
God bless you.
Nara m aka!
ReplyDeleteDon't get caught! Simples.. Just ma me sure you put your children first before anything and always be in control.
Iji okwu... This is what I have been preaching. Don't get caught! Udo
ReplyDeleteMen always think they have monopoly over cheating. At times it's good to pay them back in their own coin. Why is everyone blaming the lady as if her DH is a saint himself?
ReplyDeleteRight now I'm so pained cos i just discovered my DH whom i thought we were best of friends cheated and the annoying thing is that he is still lying about it.
If no be belle wey i get i for even the scores make dey thing follow pain am. Mchewwwww...
KarenAlbert.... alias Blessed Mrs.
Men always think they have monopoly over cheating. At times it's good to pay them back in their own coin. Why is everyone blaming the lady as if her DH is a saint himself?
ReplyDeleteRight now I'm so pained cos i just discovered my DH whom i thought we were best of friends cheated and the annoying thing is that he is still lying about it.
If no be belle wey i get i for even the scores make dey thing follow pain am. Mchewwwww...
KarenAlbert.... alias Blessed Mrs.
All sins are equal before God,there's no strong ,small or big sin, sin is sin
ReplyDeleteBadt girl, I like u
ReplyDeleteBut the cheating men chest with women make,abi is it men they sleep with? The world better have a rethink
ReplyDeleteDis ur advice is very useless, what do u know, if u don't have anything to say, pls shut up. If u can't deal with, u read d IHN
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday to you.
ReplyDeleteUr comment is sense able, not all dis useless hypocrites, fuming jesus lo oba
ReplyDeleteOga shut up, and behave ur age, ohhhh I forget, go such breast.
ReplyDeleteAnybody that judges this woman harshly is a hypocrite, and knowing the kind of hypocrites we have in Naija, I expect a lot or rubbish answers.
ReplyDeleteNow,madam, sorry for your circumstances. It is not easy. YOu are a neglected woman.
My advice is this: continue at your own peril. Why? well, because you are in Naija( I assume) and if they ever catch you na you go suffer pass.
However, if you have a good job (oil and gas or solid business), I advice you to leave and move on with your life as long as you can ensure that you will have access to your kids. If you have no stable source of income, then wait until your youngest is 16 years old or thereabouts and then move on. Stay strong. All the best.
Genny bcos u ve a nice husband u don't know how it feels to be neglected
ReplyDeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteThere is one thing you should know, and that is, never justify a wrong. What is wrong is wrong. There is no lesser evil, they are all evil.
Your husband is cheating on you, he is wrong and he will face the punishment he deserves, some day. And now, for you to cheat because he is cheating is another wrong which won't pay you well. No matter how you look at it, two wrongs can never make a right.
I blame him for everything he has done from the beginning especially the cheating and even though our desires are often strong, most times they try hard to be stronger than we are, it doesn't mean that we can't fight it. Besides, Jesus suffered temptation after forty days of fasting and overcame.
In essence, in my opinion, it's better you end a loveless marriage and start afresh with someone else, (for pete's sake you are in your thirties, you are still young and gorgeous) than for you to indulge in an extramarital affair. It is so wrong. Remember the words 'what God has joined together, let no man divide' that's a proclamation, not just a statement. Cheating means that whoever has fallen prey to its fangs had gone against the words quoted above.
Everyone has needs, but the question is, will satisfying your needs make or mar you?
I wish you the best as you figure it all out.
Thank u TGW. Am not the poster but I really appreciate ur advice . I wish we could be friends if u don't mind. Am married and just confused
ReplyDeleteLonely wife, it is not easy, nobody has d rite to make anoda person miserable in a marriage, if d marriage is not working, pls leave, for how long will d person bear d misery, 10yrs, 20yrs ok 30yrs, haba now, marriage is not a do or die affair, crying and smiling outside, God punish d devil.Madam poster pls don't fall in love with a married man, u want to break his home, pls look for a widower, or divorcee, falling in love with d person and move on with d person, pls no E hug or E kisses abeg,
ReplyDeleteU are on point, let me anon, becos of my husband,
ReplyDeleteU don't need to blame urself, if you have work, abeg enjoy urself jare.
ReplyDeleteSmall pikin dey talk, what do u know, smally go and marry 1st
ReplyDeleteMy sister you are playing with fire oh please please and please again run as fast as your legs can carry.A man can get away with cheating but a woman? Is an abomination Thank God you have kids concentrate on them a woman committing adultery is a very terrible thing to do nobody want to know the reason you did it run now that you can before it ruins your life is even better you get a divorce. But remember if you get a divorce and marry someone else he might be worst than your husband good men are hard to find think about it. Keep praying for your husband that's the best I can tell you and concentrate on your kids. The consequences of adultery is something you don't want for yourself please please and please again stop now tomorrow might be too late that which you call pleasure will land you in a deep trouble if you don't stop a word is enough for ............
ReplyDelete.......
For once I agree with you
ReplyDeleteNa wao! with all this stories.
ReplyDeleteIt seems 80% of married women are so unhappy in their home.
Na wao! with all this stories.
ReplyDeleteIt seems 80% of married women are so unhappy in their home.
Dad is sleeping around. Mom is sleeping around too. This is why I always say Nigerians are big hypocrites. Instead of staying in a loveless marriage and running the risk of contacting hiv and worse, spreading it to your boys, won't you leave? Nigerians and pretense, suffering and smiling. Is divorce not grounds for divorce? Divorce the idiot, go on a vacation, clear your head from both men. You're asking how to forget about the man? Keep asking. A reply is coming inugo?
ReplyDeleteOh shattap Debbie! She's d only one committing adultery abi? I scrolled up to check again but didn't see where u wrote ill abt her hubby's 'SINS' abegiiii! I'm sure u are only a kid wot do u even knw. Well, madam, I'm not supporting ur actions, I really feel ur pains but pls adultery is never an option inugo? Just pray to God he wl help u to come out of dat man n also mk ur hubby realise he's got a wife at home n therefore amend all he had spoilt. Ndo nwannem. Some MEN are beast shaa!
ReplyDeleteLeaking Stella yansh, u don't have a brain of ur own, rubbish
ReplyDeleteMadam, I beg you in the name of God, please do not go near that man again. He is the Devil. THE DEVIL. Do not call him again. Break up the affair via text or email and leave the State for a little bit to clear your head, BUT AVOID THAT MAN LIKE A PLAGUE. I cannot scream it out enough, DISCONNECT FOREVER FROM THAT MAN. Repent Ma and as Goldscent Diamond implied, channel your energy into building empires(businesses) you can rule. Secondly, take a long break from your husband (please I did not say divorce o) if you have tried all else. So, you can breathe for a bit .
ReplyDeleteExactly what I said, u need to be happy, but not on another woman expense,
ReplyDeleteAll dis new bee in d hus, can lick Stella ass no be small. Stella dis, Stella dat, abeg make una go buy sense
ReplyDeleteWho be dis mumu, what is wrong with u, are u alrite, pls smell out
ReplyDeleteas a married lady who is struggling with the feeling of having a lesbian affair, i doubt if the poster is Happyabout whay she is doing. i have never been a lesbian before but i have been thinking about it for sometime now . if there is anybody in this same situation please email. thanks
ReplyDeleteYour horseband is a jackass.
ReplyDeleteI cannot condone the cheating with a married man, as you will only do to his wife what you have felt, but I would not stop you from seeking a lover who is unattached. Some men deserve to get burn, taking their wives for granted and acting like by marrying her they have done all that is required. This is why I would never save myself for any man, fck that shit. You have never even tasted good pleasuring and this man have taken you from your youth and put you on lock down while he gets to play. Even lacking the morals and respect he should have for you by seeking out your own house help..mofo needs a wake up call.
Whatever you choose to do just tread carefully. Be discreet and protect yourself. There are tons of youngins of legal age who would be happy to take care of your needs, some even on this blog..lol
To God who made me! I crown u the most sensitive married woman on dis blog. D likes of genny baby(tongue out! Die I used small g) goldscent etc re just pretenders or do I say Mrs holy nwejes..... Rubbish! U really advise with all honesty without any form of pretence nor being judgemental. I luv u babes. Wia do u live? Could we be friends? I live in Abj and wia do I send ur kisses? #Sommy
ReplyDeleteMen should stop cheating on their wives, bcos they are pushing them outside,madam cut ur relationship wit the man n concentrate on ur kids, look at them wen ever the monster husband is doing his nonsense n be prayerful too.
ReplyDeleteWhat?? Dont get attached to your single friends ke. Some of,you ladies are beyond silly
ReplyDeleteFire on Dr Sabo! By fire by force we don sabi say u be doc nkita(dogs) kwakwakwakwa
ReplyDeleteWell well well, wat can I say.......
ReplyDeleteWait o! Did I read where u said he's a married man? So wat do u need help on? U r mkn anoda man cheat ob his wife n complaining dt urs has a lot of gurls callin him. Hmmmmm watch urself ooo
ReplyDeleteAm out of dis ooo. Catch me if u can
ReplyDeleteWell said
ReplyDeletegbam..she is has no right to cheat too even though d husband is also guilty..retrace ur step madam
ReplyDeleteAsin!!!
ReplyDeleteGod is able...
ReplyDeleteWow smart one!
ReplyDeleteTooor. M speechless
ReplyDeleteOn point ooo!
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