Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Most Embarrasing/Hilarious Moments

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Sunday, November 16, 2014

Most Embarrasing/Hilarious Moments

We have had posts on this blog where we recounted our most embarrassing moments which were so hilarious that most of us are still laughing ......


I had an encounter yesterday at the Mall that just made me realise that some of us must have had new encounters that are embarrassing and funny as well.


OK,so i was at the mall yesterday shopping and then i got to the part where
they had chicken gizzard packed up and a German lady was looking at the various prices and as I checked I realised they were really large and had like four in a pack and cost the same amount as when i bought them fresh in another mall....

So we looked at each other as we were checking the prices and we smiled.I said to her 
''Expensive but really so delicious...''

And she smiled even more and said

''Expensive yes but I cannot tell if its delicious directly but from what I can tell they must be...''

I told her
''OMG they are delicious in tomatoe sauce eaten with rice and cooked Banana''

She said ''I will have to ask my cat then...''

And I said ''Excuse me?''

She replied ''I buy them for my cat,I dont eat the insides of a chicken,so I would have to ask my cat about eating his with cooked banana and rice.....''

The lady eavesdropping near us almost fainted from laughing and my mouth hung open in a big 0 form.

I wanted to say something but my whole face went red and too many people had started laughing cos it was a loud conversation.I joined in the laughter weakly and did a moonwalk out of that section of the mall.


Share yours please....





379 comments:

  1. Hahahahahahaha....as in...very funny

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha stellz stellz...I actually had 1 2 nights ago at the ikeja city mall.after watching the much talked about 30days in atlanta .I decided 2 get some stuffs at shoprite. after getting my stuffs I saw people rushing for fried chips and chicken. It was a long queue but my long throat elder sister insisted that we must buy.well it was my first time 2buy that frm shoprite. so when it was eventually my turn after my elder sister .I told d guy 2 sell it well o and he shld add* fisi or jara* (whatever its called) he wld bring his head up and ask if it was enuf and I was like no add more...he continued until my pack was almst full.then I told him 2 give me d biggest chicken and he did.then he took mine and my sister's food 2d microwave.i was really feeling like a sharp babe.i told my sister that I am smart and I felt so good wit my little achievement. u guys wnt bliev wat I saw wen d guy came 2deliver our food.my money almost doubled my sister's, stella I didn't know they weigh it.so they charge according to the weight . I was sooo embarrass .thank God I had my card on me

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  2. Hahahahahaha
    I will read comments.
    Chair please.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes oh. And please nobody should come here and tell us any yeye secondary school story oh. Biko if you don't have it hilarious, embarrassing and funny, kindly read other people's own and laugh it off and don't give us any narrative of the supposed moment wey no make sense, na beg I de beg una. Eg how u pecked a dog and co. Thank you.

      Delete
  3. Laff wan tear my belle!! Dat women gaaan!!me my friend was telling me that I snore in d afternoon I said she was lying!!she recorded it and when I woke up she told me that I should pls call her fone that she can't find it,i called and heard a funny ringrone then I asked her why she will use the croaking of a frog as ring tone she said it's my ringtone that it is me snoring and not a Frog!! I almost cried

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  4. Stella, you dey chop cat food!!! I don laff tire. Do not worry, you are not alone. In any case, the cat must be of Nigerian descent :-)

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  5. Hahahahha....sorry stella. ..I can just imagine d embarrassment. .anytime u dey eat gizzard now, u go dey think say na cat food u dey chop. .hahaha. .please any bv in South Africa? Please where can I get good human hair to buy around gauteng? Thanks.

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  6. Lmao! Choi black people don suffer. The same way I'll be hustling for"shaki" and the whites will be staring at me in the mart then.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is this d Adaorah that graduated from FGGC ibusa now in d USA?*LEENDAH*

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  7. Lmao, I remember cooking shaki one time and my oyibo sister in-law said it smells like poo. She was even laughing when she said it.

    This post is going to be interesting..waiting to read comments.

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  8. See embarrassment o, bwahahahaha...

    I remember some few weeks back, I was at a friends hen party and we got talking. There was this very loud one, very outspoken indeed and soon she began to sound like an I.T.K. I was just observing, as I'm very calm and reserved. Then someone asked where she works, she answered PWC (I guess, she's heard about d coy from someone that they pay well, but didn't know what they do). Wow, i said. What department are u? She jumped d question pass, she mumbled some words n said loudly "you know it's public water corporation, we are neither here nor there". Shuu? Water corporation bawo? Laff tore my pants that day o!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @ Lara, lol. PWC can b that too. Go and mend ur pants jor.

      Delete
    2. @Lara
      1. A few weeks back or some weeks back
      2. Friend's

      Delete
  9. Hahahaahahhhaahahhahaahahahhhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahah

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  10. Hmmm,mine was during my service year my room mate and her mischievous friend accused me of stealing there indomie.....30naira then or so,i cried my eyes out and was very embarrassed.But pple really stood by me cos dey knew I can't do dat.

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  11. Staco, you cannoy helieve it o. I was on official assignment that has to do with security documents and cannot by any means loose site of it for any reason. Suddenly, there was "rumble in the jungle", I could not hold back. I asked for their rest room and rushed in to do justice to myself without checking the environment for necessary things that should be in place. Zipped down and fired down the WC, when I was done, there was no tissue to use and no running water.
    How to clean up became an issue, confused and dismayed, I prayed for God to intervene. Finally, the documents I was to use officially was then and there sacrifised to clean my y..h.
    I thought hell will be let loosed in my office when I got back, but after explaining the situation to my supervisor, he laughed and closed his nose and ordered me to go home and clean up well and rescheduled the meeting for another day.

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  12. Hahahahhahahaha

    I have plenty Buh Lemme start wit this one

    The General and I were hosting some peeps and We took dem to one Swanky restaurant for dinner...It was Sooo Beautiful...

    They served d most delicious food...
    And i was Sooo happy and got carried away...LMAO
    So happy that i didnt know wen d Waiters came to clear d table...Chai

    I use dentures oo and i had wrapped it up in a serviette while i ate and wen i got maself,the table had already being cleared plus my dentures.....Kai

    The General sat beside me and i tapped him and without saying a Word he knew wot was up....
    He went and told dem and dey said they hadnt seen it Buh Wil look through the dishes.dat We should wait...Kai

    I was just There seated and fidgeting...
    I had mouth Buh could not talk...Chai

    And i had promised dem a story After d meal and d wives of d guests were like "I Cant wait for another of ur stories....Chai

    I was there eating and eating.eating and eating....so i wouldnt have to talk...LMAO
    All d nyamanyama food i skipped,I started "re-eating" all of dem o...

    My eyes were just getting bigger by the second....
    I wanted to cry Buh couldnt...

    I was just dere,eating and waiting for the phone them to call dat dey have found my stuff....Buh for where

    I must have waited for 30 Mins or so

    Next thing a smiling Waiter apperared bearing a somewhat large tray and before all of us and my Wide eyes,he politely said "I believe this is yours Ma'm

    And right There on d tray were my dentures....hahahahha

    It was embarrasing Enough having d waiter bring it to d table Buh to wear it back on while all d guests stared eh.....

    Since den ,i have being more careful of dem...hhahahahahha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahahhaahahahhahahahahhhahaha I wan die for laugh ooooo

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    2. Bwahahahahaha..Dem pack ur teeth for tray carry give u.

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    3. The General's wife and her pot of lies.

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    4. God forgive me!

      Dont know where i got my craziness from....Hahahahaha
      I have dis bad habit:

      When the General and i are in church,i will be teasing him (he can concentrate in church for África,even During announcements and stuff...LMAO

      So i Wil just look at him and say "Bad ass Man! U just dey form Holy now"
      Hahahahahaha

      He will ignore me and d more he ignores me d,more persistent i become....hehehehe

      I Wil just use style n look around to make Sure no eyes are on me and Then i Wil peoceed to start touching His Sugar stick...LMAO

      And all d while i will be like "Hehehe,Holy Nweje.See how serious u are.Igba Mbe Igba Mbe(and i Wil be laughing quietly and he Wil just bone) ahahahahhaha

      And i Wil just continúe,oya laugh.u dont want to laugh.Superman.okay if u dont laaugh i Wil give u one million...Hajahhahahaha

      And by den d poor Man Wil be near breaking point and next thing he will give in and smile hahahahah
      And i Wil be like "Got u" and he wil just look at me and ask me Why is d Devil using me ....hahhahhaha

      So one fateful sunday i started d game o.and was getting to d part where i wil win and next thing i heard was "What do u think you are doing Young Lady'

      I just froze!
      All eyes on me!
      Wanted the ground to open up dere m den....Chai

      I coulndt even look up to see Who it was Buh wen the Man Passed,i saw a flowing white gown meaning it was one of d Rev Fathers in our parish.

      The General confirmed it and since dat day eh,i no dey near dat Father...

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    5. @The General's Wife
      1. Had already been
      2. Appeared
      3. I have been more careful with them

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    6. Hahahahahaha! Lol , If I were u, I would deny.... hahahaha! Chai, u must hv wished d ground would open ......lol!

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    7. @ GW, you r officially the first person who lost sth precious n wasn't happy finding it. Pele.

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    8. Chai dentures at this age pkele oh.... Funny shit man.....

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  13. LOL OMG.
    Stella, that was all shades of embarrassing.

    I can't think of any embarrassing moment now, I'll come back.
    I remembered the last embarrassing moment post, it was fun!

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  14. Hahahaha . So funny. Sorry though. I can't remember any recent embarrassing moment. Let me scan my brain. Nwanyi Oma

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  15. Hehehhehehehahahahahhohohohoho. Omg. I can't imagine the look on your face. It must have been epic. And to imagine what would have been going through her mind, while u were reeling off your gizzard rice and banana tales....hehehehheh. She must have been seeing the cat in you. Chai.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol. Seeing the cat in you ?

      Damn, I'm dead from laughing.

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    2. @ La Effizzy, u have not well o. Seeing the cat in u?

      Delete
  16. Lolz...'ask my cat'...
    Well here is mine,am in a postgraduate class in a northern university,where everybody seem to have an automated level of maturity. OK so,went to class with jus N230,on a Saturday,it was last card,but hey,am fine,I know how to manage my life,then we had to contribute this token for class upkeep @N200 a student,the collector came to me and I pleaded to leme bring it next well,after all its not the sch fees,in the process of explaining this lady jus dragged the cash outta my hands while explaining my weekend situation to her. Had to start following her about class to plead so she can refund my saviour for the weekend,all plea jus dey enter deaf ears,Haba! So I had to call one or two class mates to help reason with her so she go coperate,still a No,now closing time everyone is going home,my frustration don reach Eiffel tower,Omo,I jus provoke for the lady say Wetin happen? Abi dem send u to me ni?...then came the weather of embarrassment I was trying to avoid by not going around to ask for a soft loan of jus 200,after all I have my own "200"...thots bad belle guy from class wey dey beef my 6" height jus dey shout for my head...'Mr man stop shouting at the lady cos of 200' choice Na dere pple gather ooo...I felt like the ground Shud consume at that point,I was so pained and embarrassed, I cud not even collect the cash again as the lady don go arrange the money having seen I was serious about getting my money back,all class mate come dey gather gimme 200,with consolations 'its OK,its alright'of course I don discharge comot from the scene,only to be blocked by the same guy again venting trash,if not for sch rules on fighthing,I for test my Muhammed Ali skill for him face, but consolation don pass quarrel! Shame dey catch me to attend class next week self,

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  17. Hahahahahaha SDK Pele. You for fall her hand too.
    Mine happened like 7yrs ago, anytime I remember it I get embarrassed.
    The was no light in my hostel that night, I was already asleep I was wearing a negligee , my next door neighbor knocked on our window to say he wanted to put on his candle from our lantern, I brought the lantern for him, he lit the candle and I went back to sleep, 2minutes later he came back, after lighting he was just looking at me in a funny manner and he didn't want to leave, I smiled shyly and said Goodnight, in my mind he was tripping.
    Well, my roomie turned after he left and was like "Jesus!" I said what? , she just pointed at my chest area, I looked down.
    Hmmmm....!! my nighthy strap had slipped, and one of my Boobs was fully exposed. I wanted to die. God! The next day he had this smirk on his face, I wanted the ground to open so I can enter.
    Dude prolly thought I tried seducing him, I hated him for coming back, I'm sure he put off the candle on purpose.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha lol.
      Nigga had to come back for another free show.
      LOL.

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    2. Buhahahaha, free show for the guy that night. If no b ur roommate, d guy for patrol ur room tire.

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  18. There was this sunday that we had combined service in our church. I normally go for the first worship service.

    On this particular sunday, it was combined. So we were all rushing to get sit down stairs. I was this ankara gown my tailor just made for me. It was a straight gown with a not too high heels shoes.

    As I just got inside, the ushers were just directing pple to their seats. Before I knew it, I was on the floor. I just stood up quickly and went to the nearest seat. It was so embarrasing.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Lmaooooooòoooooooo. Lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
    Buhahahahhahahahaha
    Rotlf.
    Jeez! Stella, that woman killed you. I can't deal. Bt seriously I would have told her she shouldn't worry abt confirming from her cat cos my own dog has testified already. Lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *tears paent* Where are my comments? *tears bra* Stella, where is my comment?? *grabs dagger*

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  20. Hehehehehehe madam stella that's real gobe. Gizzard that we munch over here she is giving her cat???.

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  21. Lol,mine happened when I was still in secondary schl.lol.I was in ss1 or so,there was this girl I was eyeing and I really liked her.I was in the boardin sch btw.so on a faithful sunday evenin,after we had finished having dinner at the dining hall I waited patiently till she finished eatin then I went to cross her wantin to chyke her.lol.Naso I stood right in front of her and was stammerin and the next tin I said was "Bose,how are you?"And I went blank,didn't knw wat to say and she jst left me standing.The 2nd day whch happened to be a monday,naso Bose dey yarn everybody for class say I come meet her and I no fit toast..Chai!Throughout that week I didn't go to the dining hall thinkin d whole schl had known what I did..Hunger beat me ehn,but Bose you are still on my TO DO List..yeah!!Fstc ijebu imushin..LOL.

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  22. Lmaooooooòoooooooo. Lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
    Buhahahahhahahahaha
    Rotlf.
    Jeez! Stella, that woman killed you. I can't deal. Bt seriously I would have told her she shouldn't worry abt confirming from her cat cos my own dog has testified already. Lol

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  23. Stella check your Gmail.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hmmmm,boarded a bus to the bank recently, as I was coming down something dragged my leggings (but I no reason am) so I entered the bank...I went up straight for my transaction,the banker and I gisted,i said I saw him in winners chapel, himself say that was his ist time in that branch..Finished what I was doing,climbed down and went outside, while waiting for a bus, a girl came to tap me "sorry your leggings is torn" I say where?She pointed, people of God, na my nyansh region....Directly under my left bum, was a hole, that tugging I felt in the bus, na the iron of the chair o, it dragged the leggings..I shame no be small,a house of shame came upon me instantly, so all those climbing and gisting nobody could tell me?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I av laff tire

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    2. Lmao. People of God, na your nyansh region. Lol ha.

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    3. Lmao.pple r wicked. They don scope d nyash tire..hope say u wear "good pant" dat day...

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    4. Lmao! Maybe d guy actually denied not being a full member because of what he saw. Omg!

      Delete
  25. The comments on this post last time was so hilarious. Lemme sit back n read today's own. Can't recall if I hve any embarrassing moment to share.

    ReplyDelete
  26. ooooh i ususally repeat/make up conversations that i like or that i fantasize about, so i was walking down this lonely road back in uni and i was "toasting myself"...literally toasting myself!!! i was going back and forth on the convo in male and female voice...i was over ten minutes into the crap when the guy behind me started laughing hysterically...i was so deep i didnt realise someone was following me. i just hailed a cab and ran away

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I swear to God you are a confirmed nut case Choi I have laffed and peed my pants

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    2. OMG...I have laff shege...chai..this is the funniest abeg...

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  27. Awwww so funny but embarrassing

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  28. Lol Stella! I think I just died from laughing too hard.(typing dis from heaven) chai! dat woman is heartless ooo!!!!...lemme try n remember mine. Would be back...Mo'Nick!

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  29. Haha if na naija e happen i trust ur mouth u go pieces d woman.

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  30. Ok! Here Goes.

    It happened today, at noon. DH & i have two hefty dogs, and I needed to give them lunch. I opened the back door and the female pure Rottweiler saw me pecking "her master" and started barking.

    We thought it was funny cos there was no reaction from the male. I decided to go further and peck him all over and her bark and growls became worse (whenever I stop pecking him, our Rottweiler stops barking too). She proceeded in looking for a way out of her cage to attack me. She found a small open fissure and tried inserting her full body through it.

    Up until this minute, she barks & growls whenever she sees me. Oh well, I need to start avoiding her henceforth (until I bribe her with rich bones) before she chews me for dinner *whew*....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How is this supposed to be hilarious, funny or embarrassing? Still expecting the continuation or you don end the tory like this?Abeg find better one like the blowjob deeper life tory abeg.

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    2. Hian..Dis one follow for embarrasing moment?

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    3. i regretted readin ur story

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  31. Lol epic, mine was in the airport where I was asking d person I went there for if he is waiting for the person am waiting for also.

    Can't explain it well but it was embarrassing.

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  32. ....white people and their silly sarcasm. She just insulted you but in a nice way Stella. Same shade they throw here but I have lived here long enough to provide an even better"come back".I remember chewing my chicken bone at my desk (ite wasnt even the whole bone. Just the ends of the drum stick) and my colleague says "ewww, how do you even eat that"...and i responded " thé same way you lot eat bloody steak and end up with all kinds of diseases"...

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  33. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haaaaasaaaaaaaaa! Chai! I no fit. I'm embarrassed on your behalf sef.

      Delete
  34. This may not really count as an embarassing moment but I just have to share before I self-destruct... I was on a news website earlier today, the site is holding a poll to know whether people are in support of the french presidential candidate's plan to annul gay rights to have children by surrogacy or whatever means(I'm on the fence with gay issue, no offence, i'd neither condemn nor applaud)
    So there was this Old man, who rather than vote decided to drop a comment by saying "African women would accept to be surrogates for a fistful o groundnuts, just like african footallers they are so cheap" I felt weak after reading this comment, I made a screenshot of it,with the name of the commenter, I was going to post it online somewhere but i'm busy prepping for my interview tomorow.

    Wish me luck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The man is so right! Why so pained?? Na the bitter truth he yarn.

      Break a leg tommorow!😉 all d best

      Delete
  35. There's dis really young n cute doc that attended to me at the hospital during my first pregnancy. I was quite shy when it came to him seeing me naked. Then fastforward to my delivery date. I went to the toilet severally saying I was pressed,I will come back n tell oga,the poo went in again. I went for the last time and as I was going back my water broke. Before then no pain just some discomfort. Then the pain started. I screamed n started crying(I had a paper the next day). I was taken to the hospital n thhe baby don dey come,so no enema.
    Mothers,hope ya'll can guess what happened on the delivery bed. The thing smell o. Ohhh,and my cutie doc took the delivery,with some other medical personnel.
    It was embarrasng to me then but now,I no send oooooo.

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  36. Hahahahahahahah.coming back

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  37. Hahahahahahsga..... That German lady bad ooooo, so Stellastica, you dey eat the same food with her cat.... lwkmd

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  38. Replies
    1. Wia av u been, madam?
      I don miss u die.

      Delete
    2. Wia av u been, madam?
      I don miss u die.

      Delete
    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    4. Ezemoney na eli ife gbalu agba..I've missed ur comments like kilode? How are d twins doing?

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  39. Kk,
    It was during this ileya festive period, like 5yrs back.
    Popsy was given a ram in d office and it was delivered to the house.
    We weren't ready to kill it back den, for 1 my popsy na confirm 'ole' e no fit kill ram. So we had to wait till we got som1 wu cld do it for us.
    So which meant we had to keep and feed dis ram till we were ready to kill it. Along side feeding the ram, me and my sisters grew attatched to this animal. It got so bad, dat as soon as we can't stand the heat during the day, we had no choice dan to go upstairs in2 the house, but as soon as we leave this ram, it starts bleating.
    So once in awhile if we can't stand the bleating me or my sisters wld poke our faces out thru the entrance. My mum, wld be like 'its like u ppl are forgetting dis ram na meat, stop treating it like a pet' even my sister went ahead to name the ram 'Dan'.

    Now to the main gist, dat period I just met my ex ooo, and d guy dey disturb me dat time, to come visit him. So dis faithful day na, na so urs faithfully deck, as I deck finish, I knack popsy perfume for body, knack sandal. This babe was looking gud n ready to leave the house.
    Oboi! I don reach top of the street finish ooo!
    Guess what?!
    This guy for my street, that av neva eva spoken to in my life, just stopped me and was like, sister?! Am like Yes?
    Something dey follow u for back ooo!
    OMG!!! I wan enter ground dat day.
    Oh I forgot to mention the ram was neva tied down.
    The animal almost headbutt me,sef in it usual playful manner.
    Oboi I just take style do abt turn, and lead the animal back home, called my sister and asked her to watch my back, till I left.
    Did I mention we killd the ram, made peppersoup for every1 in the compd, and we enjoy am with small stout(Na lie oo), and yes my sister fake one nonsense cry like dat while pickin her teeth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *Titanium @ lead!(Kk na led) #ShinesTeeth!

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    2. *Titanium @ lead!(Kk na led) #ShinesTeeth!

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    3. Lool, reminds me of the nursery rhyme: mary had a little lamb

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    4. Lol @ ur sister faked one nonsense cry while picking her teeth.

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    5. It is a 'fateful' day, b.
      Before you'll say dog bit someone in your family naw.

      Your story was a bit funny, though.

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    6. OMG! This is d most hillarious...I'm rolling on d floor laughing..Pink Shell u are sooo funny...Bwahahahahahahaha!

      Delete
  40. I farted during sex. AnonyPretty

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    Replies
    1. Pussy or ass fart?Either way...YUCK!

      Delete
  41. My most embarrasing moment happened last nite. We thought the entire house had gone to bed so hubby and I were laying on the couch in the living room watching a movie. One thing led to the other and the next thing I was on my knees giving hubby a blow job. Next thing my Deeper Life father in law walks in and turns on the light and sees the whole thing! HMMM The look on his face...I wanted the ground to open. I still haven't left my room since morning. Will be sneaking out of the house to work tomorrow. His son thinks the whole thing is funny

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahahahahhahahahhahahahaa I cover face for u oooooh funny and embarrassing @same time...... ahhhahhhahah

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    2. U live with ur father inlaw?
      See as d shame leave u, come dey catch me.

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    3. Lol. Morrow morning he'll be starring at your lips singing praises during mornings prayers. I can imagine what will go tru his mind then. Abeg make him fashi you joor, na ur DH dick you chop nur be him own

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    4. Oh my goodness!!!Haha haha banana haha....lmaooo

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    5. U for tell am say na mouth u dey brush..hehehehe.

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    6. Hahahaha
      I have died of laughter abs resurrected. Your dad inlaw will use you and preach tomorrow.

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    7. Hahaaaaaa Hahaaaaaa! ! O'mine world!...lolz

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    8. Rotflmao! What was he looking for in the sitting room at that time. No biggie jare, na ur hubby.

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    9. Lmaooo I cnt even imagine hahaha....

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  42. so like play like play... no Sunday laugh huh...

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  43. Mine was my first time of visting uk,i went to one mall in manchester with my old cargo man friend,in the middle of the mall the thight pant rubber i wore loosed and everything went down,and was walking around unknowingly and they gathered watching before one good sameritan tapped me.up till today i still believe its not ordinarly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its not ordinary bcos na person husband carry u go shopping..

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    2. Your village oracles are not nice .. They like seeing the nakedness of young gals

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  44. Abeg Wey Sunday laughs

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  45. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I would wish for the ground to open oooo. #IdontTakeTheInsideOfChickenTooThough

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  46. I was alone in my room one day and decided to freely release one very bad fart..only for my cute neighbour that has been toasting me since to knock once and enter without waiting for a response coz my door was kinda ajar. Omo, his face jst changed immediately and he quickly excused himself and ran out! Hahahahahah..I died of shame but no be my room? Girl gotta mess freely.
    In btw, stella, I would have slapped dat woman @d mall

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahhhahaha I can relate to dis. Lmao

      Delete
    2. Lmao.
      I just pee-d on my body.
      He excused himself sharply before he'll die from your toxic flatulence.

      You must be a fine girl, na una mess dey smell pass.

      Delete
    3. BTW means By The Way...There is nothing like In btw.

      Delete
  47. Lmao. Oyibo lady just 1uped you. Hahahahahaha. This just made my sunday Stella.
    No mind her o jare. Gizzard dey sweet esp when you spice it well well.

    ReplyDelete
  48. My only formal date in sch was an embarrassing one. The girl tapped me on d walk way wen she saw me wit a James Patterson 's Novel " Kiss The Girls" and we got talking. Convo drifted to Jackie Collins's works n we got to d risqué images she creates wit words. As a Sapioxesual being, I was hooked. I took her number n asked her to meet me at a popular restaurant in town. It was end of semester. I got to before her wit d lil money left for my days' upkeep before I sling my bag n ditch town. I was waiting anxiously, then a bike stopped and I saw her n another girl alight. I said a silent prayer that the other girl shud b a coincidence but I wasn't fast enuf. She had come wit a friend. My palms became sweaty, my hairy head was itching. My tongue got dry n I started licking my lips reflexively. I managed to welcome em. Her fone rang n she was furnishing someone on d other end d address of the eatery. I wasn't done being viscerated. We settled down n ordered malt drinks n got chatty. Then another girl came n we became 4. On top how much? After d drinks, my budget had bled profusely. I asked wat they will eat, while silently wishing d other two girls would choke on their drinks, fall sick immediately n leave us. My date said ' a plate of garnished snail'. The two FOLLOWERS echoed her requests too. I was sweating so much now that d industrial fan close by wasn't enuf. 4 PLATES of GARNISHED SNAILS not meatpie. I refused to do d stupid calculation cos I KNOW WHO I AM( my pocket).  I crawled to d 'counter' n explained my 'condition' to d attendant. He said I shud settle him. So I slipped him N200.00. He said he will tell d girls  that they want to make a fresh batch for our table since they don't v enuf to go round. I was relieved. I gave him my number to call after 10mins n I would cut  n pretend to b answering d call. 

    I walked back to d table wit a new level of confidence. Warri no dey carry last. We got talking n laughing n d waiter came over to play his role. They thanked him. Mins later, my fone rang n I pretended my late dad was calling. I told 'dad'  I was very sorry I didn't know he had left for sch to pick me this early so I went out but would b on a bike to join him immediately . I was literally stuttering. Wen I dropped d call, they asked Wats up. I told em, my dad was supposed to pick me from sch by evening but he had left too early n he is now close to sch gate. They said sorry, that I shud hurry then. I gave em transport n flewED out. Hopped on d next bike n shouted Okpetu whefia ( may trouble pass me by). Cos I dey speak King's English, she think say my pocket foreign too. 

    I never tried asking a girl OUT again in sch. IN is better. May this not happen to u guys in Jesus name. 

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahhahahahahahhahhahahahhahahhahahhahhahahaa dis jst made my day shuooo u b real warri akpako

      Delete
    2. Lol. Such glee.
      You should thank your late dad for flashing you. Lol.

      But, some girls are impossible.
      It's a date, not a family meeting.
      Greedy lots.

      Delete
    3. Lmao!! Correct guy man. Some babes can do eeehhnn. It was supposed to be a "Date" not a fellowship.

      Delete
    4. Hahaaaaaa. You see watin pass you! Lolz

      Delete
    5. @ Chick Felix, no vex, na condition cause am. Lol.

      Delete
    6. I used to have a greedy girlfriend like dat in abuja..she too follow follow..i'm dat kind of person dat dont like going out on a date with friends..Anytime she managed to follow me,na she go first order for dis and dat,she go order mine and even order for s guy that took us out..She can order up to five dishes at a time but wont finish it..She talks like parrot too...my male frienda hate her soo much..They warned me to stop bringing her along dat she is a nuisance...There was a day my friend wanted to take us out to a garden,she screamed she wants chinese restaurant..my guy vex carry us go chinese restaurant,when they brought menu,dis girl dont even know what to order..she just dey look d men up and down..at d end of d day we settled for chapman,chicken and chips...

      One day she begged one of her to take us out..d guy gree..he asked us to go to a place call "mango tree" at abuja and take whatever we want dat he will join us later,dis my girlfriend come call two of her friends to join us oh..As we dey chop fish bbq and drink wine we dey wait for d guy..d last time she spoke with him he said he is almost at d place..30minutes pass we no see d guy..she come call am for phone d guy switch off kpatakpata...d guy actually saw us from afar come tear race..by den we don chop 5 whole big fish bbq and four bottles of red wine plus energy drink wey follow...Can u believe none of d girls came out with money..My girlfriend had only 500 naira with her for taxi...I thank God i came with mu handbag..i dont go anywhere without it..my friend even asked me to keep my bag at home but i refused..it was pur saving grace cos i had my ATM card and 2 k with me...i had to rush out to d nearest atm machine to withdraw 20k to offset d bills before yawa go gas..
      I was soo anoyed with my friend fornd embarrasment..This is a lady dat much much older than me behaving like a child..I cut of from her immediately i put to bed bcos of one attitude she displayed...selfish himan being..she no dey respect her old age daz why she is still single with her beauty and money..

      Delete
  49. Mine was the first time i took an elevator. God knows i avoided it but dude was like come to my office,so i finally entered with him thinking it was not going to be much of a big deal,the thing just started going up with somuch speed that i lost my balance and fell down yakata like a mumu; Dude laughed small sha becos i take one eye look am, chai fine naive girl don fall for elevator but wetin concern me...Now a pro sha and glory be to God.

    ReplyDelete
  50. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahahahahhahaha

      LMAO @ Okpetu whefia ....hahahhaha

      Delete
    2. Kehinde...because you know your yansh has been previously opened on this blog so you had to address that one as 'the only formal date'. Chai...so others brought their market to your feet and you sef chop clean mouth. Lol

      Delete
    3. @ General's Wife, lol. U sound like u know wat it means.

      @ Viva, why u dey call am market na? Pls don't b remembering my yansh opening o. Old things have passed away o.

      Delete
  51. None 4 now......I just came 2 read comments n have a good laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  52. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…Now that was funny! .HAHAHAHA… I love gizzard and almost everything inside the cow, but you need to see the face of my hubby and the children when they see MOI eating all that. lol.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Fuck you all. Mofos

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Many are mad
      But few are roaming in the streets

      Delete
  54. Yeeee! Hahahha aunty stellz o. This is funny. I remember my days in the University when lectures was about to commence and by mistake I farted. Jeeez! It was so loud! Lami made jest of me to the extent that for a week I was called one funny nick name. It wasn't funny at all.

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  55. I witnessed a funny moment in my class some time back. I teach kid's sunday schl (8-9yrs). So on some sundays we get new interns that would have to introduce themselves to the class and all, and afterwards some of the kids get to ask the new interns any question about them. And so it was time for question and one of the kids asked this woman who was probably in her early 50s " what do u want to be in future?" Lost for wat to say the woman said "ehn" so i tried to jump in and save the woman by saying she is in her future next question!!. And thesame child unrelenting said "okay what are u in d future" mhen!! I pitied the poor woman as she no even knw how to answer dat kain question. She was a food vendor. Bt thank God we made it through.hahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dis one follow for embarrasing moment? Hian!

      Delete
  56. Lol.
    Stella o!!!!
    Really can't remember any for now,
    I'm still thinking
    Will be back!
    Lmao

    ReplyDelete
  57. ANGELRAY SAID
    Hehehehehe dat woman na yeye woman, Stella u wey get bad mouth don c person way pass u.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Ok, I wanted to send dis as a post but its too long a story so I'll just summarize it here. I really wouldn't have believed it if it didn't happened 2 me. We grew up together with 3 of my friends. Attended d same school & graduated, we were inseparable. Our parents & mutual friends have names for us like 'spice girls', destiny's child' charlie's angels' etc, yeah, dats how close we were. Well it happened dat 3 of dem got married b4 me & am still single, d last one got married a year ago, we're all in our late 20s(to d best of my knowledge dat is). Well we still see & hang around tho less dan b4. Now dis happened just last week. I went to hang out as usual on a saturday. My 3 friends were gisting outside. I was like 'what's up, what did I miss' den one of dem said dat I should excuse dem cos dey've formed a grp of married women, (dey even have a name for it which I can't remember). Ok @ first I thought it was a joke of course, but Stella dey were serious! To cut it short, I just stood up & left, while dey're trying to explain dat when we can still hang out whenever dey're not in "session". Imagine!!! If only u knew how close we were! Ok its bad enough dat pple were talking behind my back since dey got married but this??? I've read on dis blog abt pple being ridiculed by married friends but has anyone ever had it dis bad??? Am not 'choosy' Stella but I refused to settle for less. For d past week I think I've lost weight, even my work has suffered. Ok can't type anymore but I seriously need ur prayers cos am loosing it!! Sorry 4 d epistle, God bless u all

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eeeya...nne dont Mind dem
      Ur own hubby Wil locate u at God's own time,ok?

      Just thank God he exposed dem to u on time...Fakies!

      Delete
    2. They have formed a group cos they're are ashamed of discussing their unhappy marriages in your presence. They envy your freedom and that you still have a chance at a happy life.

      Delete
    3. Then this means you just realised you never had friends.

      Delete
    4. Then this means you just realised you never had friends.

      Delete
    5. @ anony 6:11pm love ur comment God bless you am single and waiting upon the Lord.

      Delete
    6. I can absolutely relate wit ur ordeal babes, ur friends are so insensitive but maybe they felt ur ways of thinking is quite different from theirs now, thus d segregation. Anyways, they are just plainly selfish n insensitive...
      Don't be depressed, learn to be happy with ursef. They aren't ur source of happiness n livelihood, find solace in yourself n being.

      And enjoy being single darling, it doesn't last forever...E-hugs!

      Delete
    7. Here is a hug for you
      Do not be depressed
      Your God sent heavenly boo is on his way to you
      The way they would turn around and want to be your friend
      BT then,you wouldn't even need them as friends because they deserted you
      Do not be depressed anymore

      Delete
    8. Your time will come Dear! Just hold your head up high and don't give a damn!!!!...*remember the water you will drink can never leave you*
      Enjoy your life and make new friends and limit your humble self from them, they are still in their honey , time will come they will be looking for your attention, then you are way way forward.

      Delete
    9. Anon 6:11, what if its the other way round? For you to think this way, oh wow! That must be the speech that consoles you whenever you're down.
      Oh well...

      Delete
    10. Pele dear,i wonder why ladies do that,i'm married and I keep my single friends. It's even they that started avoiding me and I had to ask and they were like they thought they had to give me space as other female friends do avoid them when they get married I'm like wtf

      Delete
    11. Exactly at anon 6:11 ..

      Thats d only explanation!!!



      Delete
    12. I was wondering why they would do something like that until I read anonymous 6:11s comment.. that's the reason! don't feel bad inugo they formed a support group before their marital problems leads them to suicide.

      Delete
    13. They were never your friends, dnt worry your own hubby is coming.smile Jesus loves u

      Delete
    14. You shall have a better marriage than them in Jesus name amen. Don't worry your husband is on the way just continue to pray.

      Delete
  59. I opened SDK blog on my fone in church and my I my face ws bent as I read thru d. Posts wiv my fone on my laps..
    Next tin I heard was my name as my pastor shouted dt I shld stop sleeping in church...wetin SDK no go cause?..dt ws rily embarrassing to say the least.
    Am a church worker and YES! My pastor kns evry one by name

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Must be mushroom church

      Delete
    2. @ anony 5:28 Fear God.

      Delete
  60. I remember growing up in warri as a teenager, in my early jss 1 days. I was 12yrs old and just started menstruating. And so i dint realised i had to put on tight panties to hold my pad in place (tissue o) na so i de waka go house after schl. I was almost home oo, naim devil strike! Tissue comot for position com begin do im own journey down my leg o and na market side i don reach,very populated area (okere market). Na so i just stand still, squeeze my legs togeda to hold d tissue inbtw my laps o. But how i wan take waka naim b wahala. Was there standing still for almost 4minutes sweating n thinking of wat to do. At dis tim ppl don begin wonder wetin de do dis pikin. Na so i just give up, slight release my legs to let go of d tissue. As d tin fall for ground i quitely pick my property for hand begin run go my mama house. I learn lesson dat day no b small

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @ SB LAMO love your courage jare.

      Delete
    2. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..This got me rolling on d floor..I can just imagine u picking up d tissue & running away..

      Delete
  61. Stella where the f is Sunday laughs? I introduced my friend to your blog and we hv bn waiting for Sunday laughs since. He almost died of laughter cuz of Saturday laughs. Pleeeeeeeaaaaaasssseeeee. Fan from Ibadan.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Lol,ok my most embarrasing moments was 1-i meant one hot(when I say hot I mean hot)and rich guy and we got talking for some time,he isn't based in nigeria so he came back and as usual I have 2 look hot (cos this fish is my well of God)so I wnt 2 see him on reaching there I was so pressed(kai I neva shit for daysssss),I quickly went in2 d toilet I dey shit dey percieve am kai I started praying that dis guy won't enter the toilet,cos if he does my job done knock badly,so immediately I came out I shut d door immediately behind me and lo and behold my well of God just rushed in!!if you see d spend e use come out,come open all the windows and his hotter friend was there,chai I was so ashamed ehhh,his frd was just looking @ me.(Mind you I been apply phonetics as I bin dey talk but I just had 2 respect myself and return 2 base).2- am not so good on heels but I had to wear it,so I was just feeling cool with myself(4 my mind I done finish work),Immediately I came out from transcorp(that entrance)and a lot of people was just standing there and waiting for their rides nah so me just fall flat for transcorp of all places,some yeye girls and their gay frds just start to they laugh,wetin pain me pass nah d guys wen I fall close 2 no fit help me up till I beg dem 2 abeg help me up(thank God my cab guy jus pull up wen e hapn)I just ran in 2 d car,my driver just dey talk sorry sorry sorry,I just tell am abegg move ooo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just look at my plenty gbaguns!!fine geh like me.*walks away*

      Delete
    2. Just look at my plenty gbaguns!!fine geh like me.*walks away*

      Delete
    3. @ Shugabarbie Lol sorry o laugh wan design my belle.

      Delete
  63. CHISOS, STELLA IYAAF DIED OO, I DUN LAUGH FOR CLASS EVERYBODY THINK SAY I DEY MAD SEF, ALL THE EMBARRASSING MOMENTS ARE FUNNY.. AND STELLA AM NOT SO NEW TO THIS BLOG BUH EACH TIME I GET HERE I GET STUCKED, YOUR BLOG IS A VIRUS THO.. THIS IS A COMMUNITY AND I RUFF YOU

    ReplyDelete
  64. Lol.....I remember when I was serving and we went for this MDG ish but I was ON and am aware of it but to my surprise I got stained and didn't know.i walked to a guy who had his jacket so I begged him to borrow me that I need it but he refused and was taking my plea as a joke.I was forced to tell him am stained.I was embarrassed though but I guess he was more embarrassed for not giving me on time.he later did sha...

    Another one was at d airport when I was travelling to maiduguri, so I went to use the ladies,hmmm to use tap na war,i press am,twist the neck of the tap tire meanwhile I see others using water so I kuku dey use scope like say I sabi and was tryna look@d mirror as if I was not ready to wash hand chai I no fit laff,later a man came and I was hoping he would use the tap,na so the man put hand under the tap and water came out.i was so ashamed of myself hehehehehe I told them@home,my dad couldn't stop laughing....Exposure is really good ooo

    The third I will share some years back during my cousin's wedding@LTV 8,being the family naw,someone walked up to me and asked for the convenience,i dint know what it meant lol so I jst told the person that "am not sure ooo",ask that guy lol I could see the lady's suprise look worefa atleast my answer was not too bad.i now rushed to ask a friend that came with one of my cousin that what's convenience?she said "was the person invited too" lol Anu if you are reading this I hail oooo lmao.... someone heard us and just smiled that it's the toilet haaaa I was like imagine....That one do....Make una no laff me biko

    ReplyDelete
  65. My most embarrassing moment.

    I remember wen I wuz still attendin jamb classes yrs ago. On dis particular day, I wore dis nice mini skirt with a nice top to class and I wuz filin lyk d finest babe in class. While in class, I sneezed and u nid to see d quantity of phlegm dt came out of my nose. I wntd to die dt day. On a normal day, I dnt leave hme witout my hankie cs den I dey always get catarrh but on dis particular day, I no carry hankie or tissue. Na so I bend my head o with d phlegm. Na one guy wey siddon near me give me hankie wey I take clean my nose. Cudnt luk at deir faces wen I raised my head.

    Perfect Nails and lashes, Lagos

    ReplyDelete
  66. I went for an interview in Glo Head Office in Lagos, I was gisting comfortably o but as soon as it got to my turn, my tongue froze and I became blank, when the interviewer asks me a question, I wuld repeat exactly what he said and then blab some more. At the end, when I stood up to carry my two left legs out of the place, that was when the hand of my hand bag decided to cut and all the junk in my bag spilt on the floor. Na so I squat down begin pick comb, make up bag, chewing gum, Pen, tissue paper, always ultra etc. Of course I didn't get the job and that was the final stage. Shame wan finish me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lmao. The oracles in your village were responsible for that. They tired your tongue and made you more confused than the word confusion.

      Looool

      Delete
  67. Hahahahah Laffº°°ºwanº°°ºtearº°°ºmyº°°belle !!! Very funny especially d blow job!

    #from versace***

    ReplyDelete
  68. anonymous 5;27 i feel you jare...mehn im the only umarried person among my friends currently and i honestly don't believe how manage...cos im the most beautiful, most financially stable, funniest, you name it..my friends love me or so i thought until the clique started ooh. now i am not invited to hangout and they purposely leave me out of whatever they are doing...ive literally lost it cos i dont thimk i deserve such but fuck that!!! leave them joor...

    ReplyDelete
  69. anon 5:27 forget that bunch joor...i have all married friends and me im single, they wanted to form nonsense and i put them all in their place. they are simply exchanging sob stories wishing they are still single. i know sometimes its good to have someone but look beyond all those "i love my hubby" dp. na wash! thats how educated people will be doing as if marriage is olympics medal... mtchew

    ReplyDelete
  70. Hehehe. Ok, this reminds me of my embarrassing moment with DH last year...
    DH had just bought I-phone 5s for himself. So, on this day he made me soo mad and I was boiling and thinking of the best payback. he was about to go drop me in school when my phone rang. The truth is, the number was not stored in my phone so I did not know who was calling. But I went ahead and picked it, I did not hear anything on the other end but I pretended to talk to someone saying, ''I will call u back later, am about leaving home'', then I dropped the call. DH asked me who was calling, and I replied, 'a friend'. After a minute it rang again and this time I just pressed my ignore button. By now we were entering the car and it rang again, my dear hubby asked me to pick the call, I reluctantly did, still acting my drama. As usual, nothing; after I listened for like 15 secs I said to whoever was on the other end, 'will call u later'. Then I switched off my phone, to the full view of DH. So, he got a little mad, asking me why I had to switch off my phone, and if there was something I was hiding? I said, 'no, just want to turn my phone off'. Hehehe. By now I was happy that he was jealous and wondering what was happening. We did not talk about it until later in the evening when we were going out. He calmly asked me, ' baby, who called you on the phone earlier?'. In my mind I was like, 'yes!!!, he's still thinking about it'; well, I still told him it's just a friend. Then he laughed and I asked 'what's funny?'....he just took his time laughing, and then he brought out his phone, touched some things and then the call came through my phone again. I was like, 'you must be kidding me!'. This time he laughed the loudest. All I could do was punch him severally. What happened was that he downloaded an app called magic jack that generated a number which was the number that showed on my screen. He was just trying it out when I decided to act my drama. Was really embarrassed cos he even played along making me feel like I achieved something. He said when I started acting he was surprised and decided to find out what I was up to. LOL
    BVs, b4 u start preaching that it was an expensive joke, I already know and have learnt my lessons.

    ReplyDelete
  71. I remember when I went to d cinema in uyo for the first time. Bought a drink n wanted to get a straw..only to see one container that had straws which I could see cos the top of the container was transparent...to cum collect straw na waya. I was busy looking for how to open it n was getting frustrated,d girl selling dint even mind me until one guy came up behind me n pressed one thing n d straw rolled out...chai! I wanted to die. Bush me...Mo'Nick

    ReplyDelete
  72. This is even better than Sunday laffs..I don laff on top all of Una stories..chai

    ReplyDelete
  73. I moved, recently, to one of the south south states and went looking for "ewedu" in the open market. I kept on describing the vegetable to most of the veg sellers until I met one who said in a loud voice " Yes Aunty, I know Ewedu. I dey see Yoruba pple dey chop am when I visit my in-law for Lagos. But we no dey chop am for here. e dey grow for bush well well and na goat dey chop am for her.
    Lets just say I now "import" my ewedu from Lagos.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Back in secondary school,in ss2,my maths teacher was asking me out,a physics teacher was also asking me out. And I wasn't even a science student. But the maths teachers owns was too much because he would come to class and make me follow him after class with silly excuses just so he would ask me what my reply was

    So one day,after class,he asked for my note book and gave it back to me,I didn't check for anything as I just put in back into my bag. When I got home,at night my mom removed my books from my bag to rearrange the books I would take to school the next day( she always does this),then she tried checking the books in my bag to see if there was a paper I needed that was in it only for her to find a card

    She called me and asked me why I had a card from my teacher and I told her I didn't know he put it there. The card was all about how he felt about me blah blah. I explained to her everything but she didn't believe me so she said she would check if I was a virgin,that's how she asked me to spread my legs wide open and she inserted an egg but it didn't go in so she said God save me that I was a virgin

    As if that wasn't enough,she told my dad about the teacher but told him I wasn't having affair with him but my dad been very protective said he must come to my school. Ha,he came and warned the principal,vice principal but I wasn't in the office with them. I was sent for from my class and when I got there,teachers were already gathered and I was asked to mount a table,there and then my father warned all the teachers o . hah,I was so embarrassed like couldn't he just warn the maths teacher alone. Because it was in the staff room and you know some students that came to do something with some teachers were there. It was a long talk o. I missed one period sef untop matter. That's how news travelled far and I became the daddys gal that had her father coming to warn teachers

    ReplyDelete
  75. All the embarrassment was so funny if I tell una my own infact una go laugh even ffor una dream. I enjoyed myself today more than the Sundays laugh but hope to see it tomorrow Stella thx a lot and keep it up. God bless you all Queen Eliza has spoken.

    ReplyDelete

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