Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: OPEN LETTER TO MTN.....Really Funny

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Saturday, January 11, 2014

OPEN LETTER TO MTN.....Really Funny



I got this on BBM broadcast and had a good laugh,thought i should share with you in case you havent seen it...whoever wrote this is a genius!


''I write this letter with so much pain.
On January 1st 2012, GEJ Government took Nigerians by surprise on New year's day with their fuel subsidy wahala.
Little did we know you guys were jealous of the attention we gave them.
January 1st 2013, we all celebrated the new year expecting another surprise from our president before the end of the day but alas, nothing happened.
January 4th 2014, I offered a recharge card vendor a 200 naira note in exchange for 200 naira worth of MTN airtime but she returned the money to me saying I'll need to balance her extra N20 naira.
I walked up to another vendor and met same fate. On further investigations, I found out that you, MTN had topped an extra 10 naira to your 100, 200 and 400 airtime packages.
Literally, the cost of fuckery (pardon my bad language) has increased by ten naira. We have been told by MTN that the cost of those tools they have been using in torturing has risen and as such, we should pay an extra ten naira to make up for this.
I am tempted to ask, why the sudden price increment?
To rid off some customers?
To offer us good service?
Or is MTN broke?
Oh broke? my bad!
Are they not the ones that gave out an invisible aeroplane to an eighteen year old female subscriber a year ago thereby converting her from a student to a pilot?
Are they not the ones that usually give two million naira to a lucky subscriber daily IF AND ONLY IF he/she will text WIN NOW to 33314?
Are they not the ones that gave CHRISTY a toyota camry because she texted YES to 7070?
Are they not the ones that gave OGECHI a honda four weeks ago because she texted WIN NOW to 5014?
What of the N100 that was deducted from my sim and that of other innocent subscribers after MTN informed me via sms that Nigeria's flag is green, white, green?
Are they not the ones that offered us N400 airtime (though their terrible network didn't let us utilise the airtime till they took it back from us two days after) free of
 
Charge because we updated our SIM regstratn details?
Oh God, I could go on and on.
Of course I have every right to rant. Didn't I mention some weeks back I am in a serious relationship with MTN.
Don't even tell me about abusive relationships. I have had my fair share with MTN.
I subscribed for a data plan last week and MTN had the guts to bind and destroy my network till my data expired.
Last year, I was walked out of an exam hall by the supervisor because my phone rang!
One missed call from 180!
The painful part of everything is, its difficult to leave them!
Those yellow guys have hypnotised me.
I can't count the number of times I've gone to a mobile shop to get another line but walked out after thirty minutes with another MTN sim.
I have it all. The 0803, the 0806 and the 0813 numbers. Three phones, three MTN lines, silently praying, hoping, and wishing one day everything's gonna be alright.
Oh! Didn't I say that in 2007?
Its been eight long years of endurance, patience and tolerance.
MTN were the first to send me a New Year SMS but not without taking my ten naira with them. I paid for spam!
MTN had me googling if I mistakenly killed the Late Nelson Mandela.( My number had not rested because I have refused to subscribe for Mandela's callertunez)
I wake up every morning with a goodmorning sms from MTN N informing me of my chance to win N1m before the day is over.
I go to bed every night but not without my goodnight sms from MTN N informing me I may not have been lucky today but tomorrow is another day.
The days I expect a credit alert on my phone are the days the oga behind the 4100 sms falls in love with my number.
I receive an sms on a weekly basis informing me of the current cost of dettol.
WTF!!!
Even dettol no longer cares! Why should I?
I engage in frivolous conversations and the next thing I get is an sms from MTN telling me to subscribe to 33114 to receive tips on how to get a job.
I think of marriage and the next thing is an sms telling me to subscribe..

70 comments:

  1. Lol this funny, open letter is the trend now. Nawa o!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true.I still keep my MTN line because most people have that number but I will never subscribe for data using it.Kia MTN will rip you off definately without apologies.

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    2. Buhahahaha.cant stop LMFAO.Nigerians with good sense of humour sha.i work in Glo and its so embarassing how customers r taken for granted.it isnt better anywia.crappy crappy crappy

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    3. Lol, naija and mediocrity

      For all your party cakes and cupcakes, email Tokunboh1314@gmail.com, Cheers

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    4. MTN can make one's life miserable, and they won't borrow u credit sef, dats wat pain me most

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    5. Mtn keeps harrasing me n evry1 i know wt unsolicited sms 247...there shld b laws restrictin dis esp d midnite ones dat wake me up o!

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  2. Hilarious, Buh so very very true, MTN own is fucking tooo mussshhhh, Gosh!!!

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    Replies
    1. The rate MTN is going? One day we will wake up 2 see an sms like this "Tonto Dike have not had her shower in 4days. Text 33111 to smell her armpit"
      MTN this una own don 2much. Waking up every morning and seeing 3 message envelope on my screen. Thinking is something important but Boooommm...is MTN! *smh* nawa oo!

      Delete
  3. I call them "Empty Hen"


    Take Heart sweery . . . Everything's gonna be alright one day!

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  4. Please its annoying. As I am now, I don't have a single call unit in my phone. Please someone should help me with their twitter handle, lemme ask them how to port to another network.

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    Replies
    1. Stopped using my eMpTyNetwork wen I noticed they were going overboard with dia tarrif.Abeg no be by force to use em.

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  5. Mtn the 'Shylock'! Bloody south Africans have brought 'telecomms~ aparthied' to us! Dstv,mtn bla bla bla keep raising prices. What's our rich Govt saying in order to stop this?

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    Replies
    1. The Govt is been enrich from our sufferings, so why should they bother about us? Naija matter don tire me :( I just wish I could move my family out of that hell hole to join me for good. SHAKI

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  6. LMAO! This is very correct.Maybe this memo had gotten to them that's why the sms has reduced on my line these days.

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  7. Hahahahaha.. Mtn - most terrible network.. Long hiss

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  8. Too funny can't stop lafin

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  9. LOOOOOOOOL!...this got me laughing like cray!

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  10. =))=Dlaffº˚˚°º≈wanº˚˚°º≈tearº˚˚°º≈myº˚˚°º≈belleº˚˚°º≈=))X_X =))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º‎​=)). Can't stop laughing. I love this piece. The person that wrote it is so good. The part that he said mtn is so annoying yet he walks into a shop to buy a line n end up going out wit mtn sim got me laughing. same wit me. I ve other network but still die wit mtn even wen they become so annying. Loving this

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  11. Hahahahhahahahaha...funny enough Stellastica,they are still the best....others are worse....

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    Replies
    1. Who told u, for where,etisalat is d best wen it cums to calls and internet sevices,dey r d best,I use to use mtn,u go subscribe for BIS for 1month u go only enoy d service foe 1 wk if u r lucky which kind of network is dat.No offense be reasonable

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  12. MTN,! Money Thief Network
    **Stella Oge*

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  13. Seriously, MTN is getting on my nerves! I can't count how many times they have stolen from me. I remeber the whole of new year day the network was so bad in my area, we didn't enjoy new year calls atall. Stella please warn them,they should stop sending me those their useless messages, I get not less than 4 daily, here are some of them:

    35 year old Public servant; Charity from Owerri has won a Brand New Toyota Corolla. You can be the next to win! Text BIG to 5045 NOW! N100/SMS
    Y¿llo
    For inspirational tunez, text 046296 to 4100 for GodFessions, 046016 for Wealthy Possibilitarian and 046069 for drive to stay alive at N50
    “Y’ello! Keep your callers dancing to the hot new single by Banky W, “Jasi” on MTN Callertunez! Text 20 to 4100 to get it now! SMS costs N50/tune”

    In honor of Mandela, Text 95 to 4100 for Harrysong’s TRIBUTE TO MANDELA caller tunez. Free for a month!

    HAPPY NEW YEAR! Prayer for the new year callertunes; To use MY YEAR OF BREAKTHROUGH, text 034354 to 4100; for DEVIL IS DEFEATED, text 034355 to 4100 @ N50/tune
    What a stupid network!!! The one that pains me most is when you call their so called customer care, they will play stupid music for you for like 30miins then hang up on you. If someone manages to pick, they sound so rude and frustrated. MTN ndi oshi! I hate you. I have promised myself I won't be recharging my MTN line again. Nigerian govt should throw them out Asap!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eh ya sorry buh to be candid MTN is still the best try other networks n know wasap... Thank u for choosing MTN ave a lovely day....

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    2. Mtn customer service welcome,everybody knows etisalat is d best,u shuld try n c

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    3. correct itshekiri babe11 January 2014 at 19:51

      Etisalat all the wayyyyyyyyyy! MTN is fucked

      Delete
  14. I jus couldn't stop laffing. So on point. I actually tot I was d only one suffering this issues wit Mtn. I do wish something can b done to end this telemarketing. Stella darling, I am addicted to ur blog even though I rarely reply cuz of d immaturity that some readers show. Keep up d good job, d sky is jus a stepping stone for u. Stella of life, big hugs

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  15. Evn as it might sound funny,really mtn is kilin naija pple.dis days we buy card 1it xtra 10 or 20 naira.it is terrible

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  16. Lmao,oga poster,u be genius indeed

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  17. My MTN line belongs where it deserves to be, in my Nokia torch light phone. Stupid network, I would pay BIS of 1500 and they will still charge me for browsing! I ended that r/ship with them since 2012

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  18. hehe! this one is funny open letter. but it is just the fact.

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  19. Lol at "I call them "Empty Hen"", but the truth of the matter is that the open letter is so true. The bitter truth however is that, in my opinion, MTN has the widest coverage in Nigeria. I am sure that no matter where I travel to, even to the 'remotest' of places in Nigeria, my MTN line will have service. I think that is the reason most people, like the poster, still put up with them. In my case, I have other lines that I use in major cities but when I go to remote locations, I can always count on MTN to work.

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    Replies
    1. Yea right in your dreams

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    2. True MTN is world wide.I traveld to brasil n I told my gf I was out of d country,she called my MTN line it rang,n she called me a lier.but they r thiefs sha,bcus DAT 1min call DAT foolish girl made cost me 1k Nigerian moni.

      Delete
  20. MTN d most annoyin network !

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  21. The memo is so on point! Those useless text messages keep flooding in when one's expecting credit alert.I suggest an open letter to multichoice/dstv too! They are birds of the same feathers

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  22. Well. MTN stole more than airtime from me.....they stole my business proposal......cloned it and didn't have the decency to contact or compensate me....mtn sucks......but its my oldest line though I've got2 other lines from diff networks.....I pray sm1 calls them to order

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  23. Very stupid network. Dey sure hv lost it dis tym. I won't even buy mtn cards aqain till dey chanqe or if oda network joins dem in d theft.

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  24. MTN is the best here .when u recharge u will automatically get free airtime and at nyt we make calls for FREE ! MTN is the best no doubt about it

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  25. Dis person is very correct! even visfone too.the calls from '484' is annoying!God help us in dis country

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  26. It was written by Nsg! Naija Single Girl! Her blog is still on WordPress!

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  27. Its the truth and the way they are treating their customers is from bad. 400 naira card, you pay 20.00. I no de recharge the line again, I don de patronise my airtel and etisalat. I don't even understand the role of NCC in this country. There are busy collecting ogunje from these telecoms and turning serious blind eyes to their actions and activities.

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  28. Very funnY letter.

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  29. Very funnY letter.

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  30. This writer is just so on point,I ll give him an A grade.mtn managers are worse dan d so called yahoo boys,dem b pure 419 wtf. I can't even count d numba of calls or sms I get fromm dem daily. D worse is dat dem force me giv me callertunez o,I don beg tire to stop am dem refuse.........Pretty T

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  31. So true...worst network

    MOA

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  32. Port to t-mobile, sprint or at&t or simple mobile. Lol. Just teasing. When I was in Nigeria,I loved my celtel network .*loyal customer* . I never liked MTN. Many promos equals Many fakes

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  33. Lol...i have ported to etisalat and retained my mtn number..old contacts can get to me...no shits anymore....

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  34. @Sowetogirl, I guess you are in South Africa, the home of MTN?, I seeeeeeeee

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  35. This is so true
    The sms re so annoying
    Runninig peoples bat3 dwn

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  36. To become a virgin again, Text Close to 33270. Powered by MTN, All sms is free...

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  37. Agreed guys,
    We can keep the criticisms going on forever. Have we tried to give these guys d benefit of doubt. I have been close to them at least have worked in 2 telcos in Nigeria and trust me, they keep trying daily to improve the customer experience. There are lots of factors that contribute to some of these issues. Question is? What can we do to make a difference? I'm thinking of one... I'll sure share when I'm done.
    I'm sure they are also open to suggestions from you brilliant minds on how to make the experience better. Be an agent of change.
    ...DIYES

    ReplyDelete
  38. D day I feared MTN was wen they kept deducting my airtime, and wen I called to complain, they said it showed on their systems that I used d airtime around 3am. To browse I was so shocked! I was like, "I'm a nursing mother wat will I be doing wiv my phone around 3am instead of sleeping". They were like " I'm sorry madam but that is wat I'm seeing on our system. Since then wen I notice my credit has been deducted I don't bother calling dem.

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  39. From the day I join pple that uses mobilephone GSM I have been using MTN line n will forever be using MTN.Is the best of all the other lines I haved used.the issue of the N10 is caused by the MTN distributors who is taking advantage of the low supply of the recharge card to the high demand for it.So don't blame or insult them cos for me they are still the 1st and the best.YellowwwwMTN.worry does not take away 2mrw's troubles... it takes away 2da's PEACE

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    Replies
    1. Welcome MTN worker, go and eat shit with this your stupid lie, MTN is full of shit and the worst network ever

      Delete
  40. This Letter is well articulated and it's obvious that some serious vetting was done on this Letter prior to its publication. . . Probably by their haters to De-market MTN and its products and services and raise the urge of subscribers that eventually subscribe to this article to embrace the Gospel of Portability; why evils?

    I'v @ a time sworn an oath that I'd never use my MTN lines again. . . But after sampling all the other networks randomly, I am now back to the starting point!

    MTN isn't as bad as it's painted here bíko Nne

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  41. Mtn!!!!una revenge no be here ooo.continue doing wateva you like to we nigerians.

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  42. Am seriously thinking of porting to Etisalat. Down here MTN #100 - #110; #200 -220; #400-#450; #750- #800. And NCC hasn't batted an eyelid. Sad

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  43. Dis letter was originally written by a talented nd funny upcoming blogger by d name NSG. http://naijasinglegirl.wordpress.com.
    Stella pls give her d due credit. Haba

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  44. try recharging at the ATM...u wont get charged extra....

    and yeah, mtn at its worst is still better than glo...
    airtel data service is wack..to watch a video can take a full day

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  45. My mind,spoken out by another person.. Damn! I guess we're all trapped wit dis "Empty Hen"

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  46. Culled from NSG blog. She is a great and hilarious writer. The pastor and puzzay story as also written by her

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    ReplyDelete

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