Child molestation is a crime involving a range of indecent or
sexual activities between an adult and a child
This is a very sensitive issue and i have been thinking about posting on this for a while now.........
Child molestation is far more serious than the Domestic Violence posts we saw.
It shouldn't hurt to be a child but for some children it does.
A lot of children are being molested in various ways and people are
keeping quiet because they are too ashamed to talk about it...Helping to hide a crime that
should be reported.
The Domestic Violence posts that we discussed on,we saw that celebrities ALL OVER THE WORLD are not excluded from this:The child molestation we are about
The effects of child sexual abuse can include depression,post-traumatic stress disorder,anxiety,complex post-traumatic stress disorder,propensity to further victimization in adulthood,and physical injury to the child, among other problems.Sexual abuse by a family member is a form of incest, and can result in more serious and long-term psychological trauma, especially in the case of parental incest.
We have adults who are hurting from their past,we have children who have been mentally damaged from the
abuse they are going through as you read this.
Before this night is over, some children will be molested.
We need to lend our voices to the silent cry to stop child molestation around us.
Another young woman I know cannot have Children today because her womb was ripped apart at the age of four by her father....the secret was kept in the family but today she bares the scars.
don't keep quiet,we can all lend our support to get those in positions of power to have another look at the laws protecting our children.
Children are angels from God and you will never know peace if you 'touch' them.
*Please do not come in here to swear or drop insensitive comments.if you have nothing to say,just sit back and read.
Please tell your story if you were molested and how you have coped with this.
It's a memory that keeps lingering, and affects ones sexuality. It makes you fearful of people that really like or love you.
ReplyDeleteAt the age of 7, I was molested by my cousin. I didn't understand what he did till I got to high school. In high school, I found out what my cousin had been doing was wrong. It made things very had for me, I couldn't trust anybody. Sex became for me. Ever since then I have never had sex, and I promised not to have sex till I will marry. Currently engaged, and I tried having sex with my fiancée. I was shaking and passed out. We are trying to see a sex therapist about it, but can a therapist understand the pain or fear I have within me? No one can understand my pain only if the person went through the same pain I went through.
It hurst a lot. Whenever I see my cousin, he disgust me. I don't respect him, he reported me to my aunts and mom that I don't respect him. How do I respect such a person that disrespected me? I am 26 years old now, and I can say I will try my very best to get pass it, but it is not an easy journey.
Thanks Stella.
Ah! Even if u poison him u won't go to hell.Foolish Idiot He goat
DeleteAh! Even if u poison him u won't go to hell.Foolish Idiot He goat
DeleteIt's a memory that keeps lingering, and affects ones sexuality. It makes you fearful of people that really like or love you.
ReplyDeleteAt the age of 7, I was molested by my cousin. I didn't understand what he did till I got to high school. In high school, I found out what my cousin had been doing was wrong. It made things very had for me, I couldn't trust anybody. Sex became for me. Ever since then I have never had sex, and I promised not to have sex till I will marry. Currently engaged, and I tried having sex with my fiancée. I was shaking and passed out. We are trying to see a sex therapist about it, but can a therapist understand the pain or fear I have within me? No one can understand my pain only if the person went through the same pain I went through.
It hurst a lot. Whenever I see my cousin, he disgust me. I don't respect him, he reported me to my aunts and mom that I don't respect him. How do I respect such a person that disrespected me? I am 26 years old now, and I can say I will try my very best to get pass it, but it is not an easy journey.
Thanks Stella.
Wow stella God bless you for this post.
ReplyDeleteI don't know whether mine could be called molestation, but when I was about 7 years old. I remembered this older man, would take me into a carpenter workshop and begin to touch me inappropriately, rubbing an gyrating himself upon me. He would pull my pants up, but can't remember if he penetrated.
I remember after about 2 or 3 times, I used to go and look for him when I was allowed to go out and play, from what I remember it was as if I loved him, he used to give me roasted corn, and some small Maria note.
However, this later affected me seriously, as in later life I became addicted to anything sexual, pornographic, this I was also exposed to as early as 6 years old. If not for the power of Jesus it almost ruined me, as I was never able to be satisfied by my husband until I watch some pornography and then pleasure myself. I used to see people make love to me in my dreams and all. It was so sad.
But thank God for the blood of the lamb of God, I am healed, still get ungodly urges but God will always show up and I will overcome.
All I can say is it is hard to really protect our children but God will always protect them from evil preying eyes. In my case my mother did her best, this man was a prey and found a way to get me, maybe because I lost my father at a young age and found some love in him, I don't know.
I am glad I got the chance to share this here as it has been a burden on my mind. Stella God bless you. Please continue to lift me up in your prayers.
Stella I was abused as children from my cousin to my neighbor,but I made a promise to God my children will never go thru what I went through,as little as 2yrs I have started telling them to tell me if any body touch their sex organ,no holiday in any relative house.
ReplyDeleteYour on point n remember to kip ur children very close to u alWays
DeleteYour on point n remember to kip ur children very close to u alWays
DeleteNawa oo..this is really a serious matter!
ReplyDeletesince i have been visiting and dropping comments on your blog this is by far the best post for me.
ReplyDeletewe can shout about domestic violence and other ills in the society,but the worst by far is child molestation.children cannot defend themselves,they cannot express themselves and they have not even had a chance to have a life yet.
children first suffer in the hands of their molesters,most times who is known to them and whom they will probably see every single day,who threaten them not to tell anyone now they eventually build up the courage to tell their parents who most times will snap/shout at them that they are lying …the abuse continues until by luck the molester is caught and the police get involved.
some friends and other people will come beg the parents to settle out of court,offering them money and using useless african traditions to pacify and justify..when the pressure becomes too much the parents agree and the case is withdrawn and thrown out
so the child has been failed by the molester----the child has been failed by parents---the child has been failed by authorities..coupled with this is the attitude of the society who most times unfairly label the child as wanton,prostitute who must have encouraged it…
when a child is carrying all this burden around from the age of less than 10 to the age of adulthood why won't they turn out flawed or bad?
@anon
ReplyDeletepls dont make excuses for your parents or anyone involved,it is partly their fault.the job of a parent is to make their children feel comfortable and free enough to approach them and tell them anything.
if you did not disclose to your parents,then it can only be because you were ashamed,scared or apprehensive of their reaction a child who is free and 100% comfortable with their parents will not feel this way..
also when a mother bathes their child,they check both her extremities and examine internal areas of her body and if they discover anything and in doubt they can go to the doctors..
it is easy to protect children if we are straightforward and strict with it.
first and most important we must define borders for children,a child must know that it is not acceptable to sit on any uncle's laps or roll around,it is not acceptable to even do some things with his/her dad or any adult.
when children know where the borders are and are trained to respect it,they won't go beyond the borders.
we should also let all the adults around know where the borders are..if you make it absolutely clear that under no circumstances must anyone me in the room or anywhere alone with your children and take proper actions if it happens everyone will respect your principle.. i know a friend of mine who will not allow anybody to swear or say anything negative where is less than 1yr old baby is,if you dont like it leave his house
hmmm mine started when I was 7yrs. My uncle that nomally stay with us during holidays use to run his penis on my private part when we are sleeping, I was too scared and ashamed to protest or tell any body. My mum later stop us co-sleeping with him. She even ask me if her brother was touching me, I didn't have the courage to tell her and I still regret not telling her , She is late now . I wrote in your domestic violence post that I was later raped by another of my uncle when i visited him and his family and still I couldn't tell . I feel so ashamed anytime I remember it. the last time I saw them was 6 yrs and they pretended that nothing happened . I am 32, married with 2 kids and are over protective of them . I don'twant to tell my hubby because I believe he will use it against me when we have problem. I have trust issue and don't want any male relative to live with us .Stella thank you for letting me share my story .As for those uncles of mine I Will definitely REVENGE.
ReplyDeleteGod would definately punish them just wait n c, they shall never be happy
DeleteThe bible says, it is better for a stone to be hanged around anybody's neck and thrown into the river to drown rather than to hurt any child! [matt 18:6]
ReplyDeleteGod does no joke with children and it hurts me so bad to see adults taking advantage of innocent-so-trusting-children.
It is people close to us that perpetrate this hideous act! People don't speak out to protect the child or culprit of shame and stigmatization. But there are changes now, and mothers are getting pro-active.
I was molested by an uncle and a neighbour, I was ashamed to tell anyone about it but today I'm married and over it I'm glad I let God take control although wen the neighbour died I didn't feel bad as 4 my uncle he has 2 daughters now n I pray nothing happens to them.
ReplyDeleteYou have a pure heart.God bless
DeleteThis child molestation is now so rampant. I'm scared for my baby girl because what I hear and read freaks me out. I visited a friend over the weekend and she told me how her daughter who just turned 6 narrowly missed being molested in church. She said her lil girl went to the rest room to ease herself. On entering the toilet, a guy followed the girl in. He succeeded in forcing the girl to remove her pant.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, my friend has taught her daughter that her private part belongs to her, that no one has the right to touch her there and that a mans penis will cripple her if it touches her.She also told her to scream when anyone tries to touch her there or whenever she sees a man's private part. So when the stupid guy brought out his rotten dick, the little girl screamead at the top of her voice. The guy got scared and ran away before anyone got close. She was rushed to the hospital, and luckily she was still intact.
If these perverts are in church and other places of worship, then where is safe? Mothers should encourage thier children to always open up to them. They should start on time to educate thier daughters on these things. They should call no one "uncle" except thier real uncles. Every other male should be refered to as Mr this or that. Teach your girl child not to sit on anyone's laps especially men. Tell them that they are pretty so they wont get excited when a stranger tries to flatter them.Teach your child never to accept gift from anyone especially if you are not around. Teach your girl child how to recognise sexual advances(I learnt that early and it really helped me). Make your children to be free with you so they can confide in you. Trust no relateve,inlaw,neihhbour, colleague, family friend or any male even female,with the safety of your daughter. Most importantly, we should be prayerful. May God help us all. Keep up the good work Mrs SDK.
Stella it shall b well wit u ojare, it happened twice, at three and at six my landlords son would wrap his d**k in a celophene n use it on me. He threatened to kill me if I ever spoke out. He kept using me. I remember one of d days I refused he put me in their deep freezer. I got addicted to sex n porn, and I hate guys wit a passion, but I beliv God to help me get my sef bck. D after effects r terrible, sumtyms I hate mysef. But its gud to knw we have d opportunity to prevent it from happening to our children. I love yu stella.
ReplyDeleteAm opening up for the very first time. Cudnt even tell ma mom but now am a lot stronger. I was molested in by a neighbour in shop nxt to my mum shop wen I was 12. He kept touching me in places I didn't like. Tried 2 leave but he held me closer. Was finally able 2 escape wen a customer came 2 buy something frm him. I neva went back there again. Neva had a BF until ma final year in d university cos I jst cudnt trust guyz. Alwayz had d mentality of "attack is d best form of defense".Am very protective of any female child around me and I will be very protective of ma female children wen dey come. Thanx stella for dis topic. U r d best.
ReplyDeleteWhen we moved to our own house, my parents invited my dads broda n his friend to do d wiring job of our house. They did that which they were asked to do and even did more. I was raped. Dunno if I should call it rape cos my mum was actually at home on that day. He penetrated, did what he wanted to do n warned me not to tell anybody. I did not tell even till today. Later in life, my mums friend(she helped him when he moved to our base in d capital city to settle down. He stayed with me n my dad.) was on d verge of raping me again when my dad was indoor..M old enough to have a relationship but I have never had any meaningful one. It just sticks especially when everyone expects you to be a virgin. I know it is well. I protect my little sister like craze n can't afford her having a past not worthy to reminisce.
ReplyDeleteYea. Itz gotta stop.
ReplyDeleteEva alodiah just talked about hers.
Its so sad. I dropped a comment dere 2.
Cried crazy while doing so becoz it took me to that place n' time I call "past"
Today, I wuz officially the Godmother of a beautiful lil gurl. While I carried her, I told God to put a light n' angels on her path. All children nid angels wif swishing swords.
Eve.
Child molestation is a more rampant than we think. A lot of kids are being molested right under their parents noses. Men molesting young men and even women molesting young women. A lot of molestation crimes being hushed down due to shame or disgrace to family. I thank SDK for bringing this issue to light. Continue your good works.
ReplyDeleteJust found out yesterday my aunts,driver had bn molesting her 10 year old daughter for the past one month, he's in police custody now. Still don't know what to say to ma Lil niece am just disgusted angry and hurt.
ReplyDeleteMine was when I was 8, he forced me to give him a bj and said I must swallow his cum and I did,he had a knife to my neck. I told my parents and he denied, it was hushed as expected. I am 37 now with 2 kids, I remember d 1st day my hus asked for a bj, I froze and I was suddenly 8 again in that cold stinking room!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt hurts so much to even type this as this is the first time I'm speaking out since I did back then.
ReplyDeleteThis happened when I was eight. Our mechanic. He fingered me... It happened just once but I knew it wasn't right so I summoned the courage to tell my parents the same day. It was a terrible period for me but I take delight in the fact that the animal was punished by the police.
I later saw the animal about a year later and he was smirking at me and my mum.. I remember being so angry.
Before I got married I had a pattern of trying to validate myself through relationships... Usually with losers who wouldn't respect me. It was just one terrible cycle, I became addicted to masturbation at such a tender age. I'm crying so hard as I type this.
Met my husband, who treats me like a queen. I used to feel like I didn't deserve him, that I'm damaged goods. I was so used to being treated like crap that I almost let go of God's gift to me all because he seemed too good.
I thank God for God. Today I'm happily married with a baby on the way.
The way I see it now, I went through all this for my children, both male and female cause boys are molested too. I know what to look out for, I know the warning signals of predators.
I'll guard my children with my life
CELEBRITY EVA ALORDIAH SHARES HER STORY part one
ReplyDeleteIt is some months before August, the dates running all theway back into the calendars of the early 90s. In a few months from this day, she will turn 7 years old, maybe even have a big school party like her friend Aisha had weeks back. But today, while she's still 6 years old and counting.
He will satisfy the incessant needs of his groins. He will have her to himself and make her feel like he was right and she was wrong to refuse him. So he towers his tall lean frame above her, looking down on her as he intimidates her with his size.
She's scared, confused and lost all at the same time.
'This is Uncle Emeka,' she reminds her poor little head. 'Uncle'. Not by blood or family ties, no. But Uncle, cause he is friends with Dad and Mom.
He picks her up from the floor and props her on his chest, all the time saying,
"You know I'd buy you some more buiscuits when I come tomorrow eh? Did you like the ones I brought today?"
She nods. Barely knowing what else to do but nod in fear.Not too far off from the house just outside, she can hear her brothers playing in the yard. The maid is out on an errand and she is here by herself... With Uncle Emeka, who said he had come to see Mommy.
.........................
CELEBRITY EVA ALORDIAH SHARES HER STORY...part two
ReplyDeleteShe feels his finger as they begin to find room big enough to fit,in the wells beyond the cotton lining of her baby panties.She yelps in pain.
He closes her mouth with his, swallowing her screams down his throat as he kisses her without shame, his finger still gliding in and out of her.
It is painful. It burns like hot coals of fire. She lets the tears roll. He tells her it is right.
"Am I not your best Uncle?" he asks with a smile that curves his bushy moustache into an awkward arch.
She nods.
She was only 6 years old. But this was to happen again three more times before her 7th birthday, each occurrence bringing with it several wraps of biscuits and candies. "Don't ever tell your Mommy," he'd say. "She'd beat you very hard. Do you want her to do that?"
It's many years ago. But I write this now and I tell you, that little girl was me.
Was. Because with time I overcame that. I found the strength to walk away from it and not feel like such a dirty, good-for-nothing girl as I felt everytime it happened.
For a couple of years after that, I asked myself several questions I was not to find answers to if I didn't seek help. So I did! And I let it all go.
But not until I made sure I didn't feel like such a whimp of a girl who couldn't defend herself.
And so I grew up into a tough, smug, tomboy of a girl. I hated boys, but I had them as best friends. My playmates were the biggest boys in the class. My toys were water-guns and toy soldiers. I wanted to be tough. I wanted to be able to defend myself.
I was involved in sports, and every other thing the little girls in my peer group thought was too dirty to do. I didn't care about dresses, and skirts. I hated them. So I wanted to be dressed like my brothers, and look like a boy.
For years I let myself believe -"If he was ever giving me anything, he wanted something in return." This was the logic with Uncle Emeka, wasn't it? Every time I got a present, or cookies and candies, it was because he wanted me to keep my mouth shut about everything, because he wanted me to be happy, because he wanted to come right back to prop me up on a wall and give me pain.
So I learned to get mine. I wanted to have what I needed on my own terms. I was never to ask for help from any boy, I was never to accept gifts, I didn't want anything if I couldn't get it myself.
I don't exactly come from one of the richest homes. I have parents who made sure we had what we needed, and on time. I watched my dad and mom put in work, from morning till nightime tirelessly just to make sure we were okay. It began to dawn on me very early in life, if I didn't start getting it myself now, I might never have the chance to when I am older and I might have to depend on taking from boys.
I didn't want that!
CELEBRITY EVA ALORDIAH SHARES HER STORY..part three
ReplyDeleteIt reminded me too much of Uncle Emeka. It brought all the pain from the past right back with hot burning tears each time I thought of it.
I wanted to work. I wanted my own. I loved school, I excelled at school bringing my parents much needed joy for all their hard earned money.
But school wasn't to be over so soon. I had two more years to be done with secondary school and then to face another four after that for university.
I couldn't wait.
At age 13 I realised I loved to read and write, So I began to write... and write even more! My dad applauded my stories, said I'd make a great writer and tried to get me published. But that was tossed in the wind as I fell in love with Eminem and focused my writing on Rap music.
I took my first job as a photography model at age 15. It wasn't much of a job but it was a period in my life where I got to know much about business first hand. I didn't take anything for granted. I had the sharpest, piercing stare ready for any guy who dared look at me like he wanted something!
"I'm not here for rubbish, I don't have anything to give you, I don't want your 'gifts', I will get mine." I repeatedly told myself.
At age 16 I had auditioned for 2 movie roles and was successfully cast to act in them.
On my first day on set to shoot, the director told me he loved me and tried to touch my young tender breasts. Wasn't that the same thing 'Uncle Emeka' said many years ago?
I got up, fired him my 'I'd kill you if you ever try that shit with me" stare and walked away from location never to face my acting dreams again.
By the time I turned 18, I had taught myself makeup artistry. I had also learned how to sew clothes from watching my mom sew in the house late at night after a long day at work. I was at university to study Computer Science at the time and I was by now a full time business woman. There I was, investing my N20,000 pocket money on bend-down select clothes from Yaba to sell in school and making over 400% profits each time.
I was finally beginning to get mine.
It was "Work Eva, Work!"
I would hate to take you on a journey through a long post reading all about my experience to where I am now as a rapper/entertainer, so I will stop here.
Look at me. I have strived hard to get to where I am today. I did not happen overnight. I am hardly where I want to be, but God is ever faithful. I have done just about anything to make sure I never had to feel like a whimp. To never feel like I had to give myself up to get anything. To never feel like all I was good for was satisfying a man's needs down-south for a gift in return.
Now, I'd tell you - I never granted an interview to anyone with the aim of revealing the fact that I was molested as a child. There's no pride whatsoever in that. I was put in a tight situation, asked my opinion on "Child Not Bride" - and I apologise for not being able to control my emotions while I let my answers spiral out of my small mouth. We are talking about underaged girls being married off and having it right by law!
How do you think I feel about that having read my story now? This is rather too much of an emotional and delicate subject matter for me and I couldn't help but relate to these young girls. And so I did say in passing without making that my focus - "Hey! I can relate, I had bad things happen to me as a child and I was molested."
CELEBRITY EVA ALORDIAH SHARES HER STORY----part four
ReplyDeleteIf you are going to find a punchline to draw attention to your blog, on a matter such as this, as a writer - how much effort would it have been to relay the emotions under which I said it in your post? Instead you chose to make me out to look like I was mouthing off and being proud about being molested as a young 6 year old child!
Is it just me or wasn't that pushing a little too hard for the negative attention?
I'm not asking that you care about me. I'm asking that you care about the situation, I'm asking that a woman be a woman for another woman. In an attempt to drive traffic to your site, do not portray my story for me like I was out to brag about it. In an attempt to "not care" and just be a gossip poster at least be a woman for another and not make my own story look like a cheap attempt at quotations for fame.
But who am I to talk here right?
I was molested! I had my 6 year old vagina prickled with fingers and nails that left sores for days! I felt like a total loser of a girl. I was traumatised for a long time.
There are probably thousands of children in Nigeria, molested everyday. By their teachers, house maids, uncles, aunties- even their own parents! This is a serious issue, not just for the family but the society at large. I have kept this to myself for many years and never expected I'd break down emotionally and let it out in passing to express my opinion on #ChildNotBride.
I almost died weeks ago in an auto crash. But I am here. Alive. I did not intend to put my sad story out like this, but it is here now and I refuse to run away from it. So while I am alive now and can use my story to hopefully inspire one person, I stand for every young girl who has gone through even a tiny bit of what I have.
Talk to somebody. Anybody. Don't keep it to yourself. Talk to your parents about it. Don't feel bad about yourself. You must remember that you are beautiful, very beautiful. You must see yourself in the purest of forms. Everyday.
To every parent out there, I implore you please, guard your beautiful children under your wings like the mother hen. You might not be able to do that 24/7 because you must go out to work and fend for them, but you must, I beg of you, be ready to ask and be there to listen.
I am here. You are there, reading this.
I don't know what you have been through, but I have talked to a great many people who were molested as kids. Boys. Girls.
So I do know that I am not here alone, and you aren't either. What I went through was disgusting, but it propelled me daily to where I am now.
I am not traumatized anymore. I did not let this consume me. I am asking you now not to let it consume you. We sometimes think everyone else is perfect until we hear their stories. I have no idea what yours is, but this is mine.
This is not something I'd ever wish on any child. It is not anything to be happy about. I was molested, I am not proud about it, I am proud that I rose above.
These child molesters are human and live among us. Some are even reading this post and the comments. Please for the sake of God, stop. It is wrong. It is evil. It is sick. Please find less harmful ways to satisfy yourself. You're bringing curses upon yoursellf and your generation yet unborn. God is a forgiving God but He is not a fool. For every pain you have caused an innocent defenseless child you will receive it back in a million folds. And to this I say a big AMEN.
ReplyDeleteVALERIE.
Amen.
DeleteI was molested time without numbers and @ a point, I began enjoying it...I knew that to get something, you had to give something. First time it happened I was 7 or so, my neighbor's son. He was in d university...he fingered me and bruised my vagina...fast forward many years...some1 close to ma dad that we all call Uncle...hw always wantws me to come to his place for weekend stays..I was just 12...that's d first time I had a rotten d**k rubbed on my vjayjay...I stopped going there and never told any1. Then, my mom's step brother and my dad's younger brother...
ReplyDeleteI am 28yrs and married and I protect my lil' gal so much...sometimes, the whole thing makes me weak and I think I love sex too much bcuz of it. I told my husband a lil' bit of the story and he feels my pain and helping me get through it since he too was molested as a child by his aunt.
I think we as parents need to teach our kids a lot of things...God help us.
I don't remember many things from my childhood but I remember that afternoon when 5 year old me was introduced to lesbian sex by the house help. She must have been about 19 or 20 at the time.naturally my parents thought it was safe to leave me alone with her, and that afternoon she joined me in bed as I took my siesta, I was still groggy till I felt her handin my pant as she forced her finger into me and kissed me forcefully. I can still smell her body odor even now. And the she made me suck her boobs. This went on for about 3 years, she'd make me pleasure her, give her head, finger her, kiss her, whatever she wanted and all along I thot this was normal. Once we were left alone I knew what was to follow.
ReplyDeleteWhile this did not traumatize me, it exposed me to things I hd no business knowing at that age, while I was still a child I was already attracted to girls. Yes, she also introduced me to pornography. Fortunately I learnt right from wrong and while I used to fantasize about women and still get turned on by women, I was able to stop myself from being a lesbian. Sometimes it's very tough. What mainly keeps me from going it is that I fear once I do I would like it too much and become fully gay.
It's a battle to control my urges but I do, child molesters, I don't know what drives you to sleep with little children, to be turned on by them, but its not normal and you can control it if you just fuckin try!
VALERIE.
I don't remember many things from my childhood but I remember that afternoon when 5 year old me was introduced to lesbian sex by the house help. She must have been about 19 or 20 at the time.naturally my parents thought it was safe to leave me alone with her, and that afternoon she joined me in bed as I took my siesta, I was still groggy till I felt her handin my pant as she forced her finger into me and kissed me forcefully. I can still smell her body odor even now. And the she made me suck her boobs. This went on for about 3 years, she'd make me pleasure her, give her head, finger her, kiss her, whatever she wanted and all along I thot this was normal. Once we were left alone I knew what was to follow.
ReplyDeleteWhile this did not traumatize me, it exposed me to things I hd no business knowing at that age, while I was still a child I was already attracted to girls. Yes, she also introduced me to pornography. Fortunately I learnt right from wrong and while I used to fantasize about women and still get turned on by women, I was able to stop myself from being a lesbian. Sometimes it's very tough. What mainly keeps me from going it is that I fear once I do I would like it too much and become fully gay.
It's a battle to control my urges but I do, child molesters, I don't know what drives you to sleep with little children, to be turned on by them, but its not normal and you can control it if you just fuckin try!
VALERIE.
I was molested time without numbers and @ a point, I began enjoying it...I knew that to get something, you had to give something. First time it happened I was 7 or so, my neighbor's son. He was in d university...he fingered me and bruised my vagina...fast forward many years...some1 close to ma dad that we all call Uncle...hw always wantws me to come to his place for weekend stays..I was just 12...that's d first time I had a rotten d**k rubbed on my vjayjay...I stopped going there and never told any1. Then, my mom's step brother and my dad's younger brother...
ReplyDeleteI am 28yrs and married and I protect my lil' gal so much...sometimes, the whole thing makes me weak and I think I love sex too much bcuz of it. I told my husband a lil' bit of the story and he feels my pain and helping me get through it since he too was molested as a child by his aunt.
I think we as parents need to teach our kids a lot of things...God help us.
Tear rolling down my eyez as I type this. I was about 6-7yrs old cnt rilly remember, my parents were divorced so my mum had a bf which I called uncle. He was from togo cos my mum used to travel to togo to buy clothes to sell as a biz. My mum was out that day, the maid was in the kitchen, my siblings were playing in the parlor, uncle called me into his room. He started forcing his tongue into my mouth and I remember feeling so disgusted then he pinned me down and brought out his penis and rubbed it on my vagina but he didn't penetrate. He told me not to tell my mum cos she will beat me if I did.I remember leaving that room feeling confused and dazed. I was withdrawn from that day on and it happened exactly like that twice. I remember feeling dirty. I told no one not even my mum, siblings or husband. Fast forward-mum died we had to go live with dad, dad raped my sista and this time around she told only me but we culdnt do anytin abt it even tho it happened wen we were in our 20's. Dad is very influential so he will win the case I guess. I have a boy and girl nw and I dnt even trust my daughter with my husband or anyone else. My husband has neva given me cause to doubt him but I just dnt wanna take chances.
ReplyDeletePart 2:
ReplyDeleteI resonate so much with Eva's experience cos I also became a tomboy growing up,hated men, gives a I will kill u stare if u hit on me or even compliment me. I hate sex thinks its a dirty shameful act even tho am married. Even tho I have a maid, I make sure I bathe my kids myself and I check their genitals whilst doing that. Dnt knw if my kids will undastand if I tell dem to report to me if anyone touches them cos they are still too young but I will try doing that today when I get bck from work. Pls note that both boys and girls get molested cos just last week my bro confided in me that our maid wen we were kids had full blown sex with him several times. So anyone with expertise: how will a mother knw if ur son has been molested sexually cos the evidence isn't visible on his genitals???
STELLA GOD BLESS YOU,I CANT REMEMBER WHEN IT HAPPENED BUT I WAS YOUNG ,I HAVE NEVER TOLD ANYONE BUT I HAVE FOUND MY HEALING .MY PATERNAL COUNSIN WILL INSERT HIS DICK INTO MY LITTLE VIRGINA AND UNLIKE OTHERS I WASNT EVEN REWARDED WITH GOODIES ,NOT LIKE I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO BUT WAS ALWAYS THREATENED,HE LEFT US AND LATER DIED.AND FOR A LONG TIME EVENAFTER MARRIAGE SEX WAS AN ISSUE.I HAD TO TELL MY HUBBY NOT TO SURPRISE ME WHEN HE WANTS SEX COS IT TERRIFIES ME.THANKGOD FOR JESUS ,BECAUSE HAVEN GIVING MYLIFE TO HIM I HAVE LET EVERY PAIN GO....I AM SO VIGILANT AROUND CHILDREN,I DODNT LIKE ADULTS MALE OR FEMALE HANGING AROUND TOO MUCH AROUND MY NIECES AND NEPHEWS OR COUSINS OR EVEN FRIENDS KIDS.
ReplyDeleteFunny world. Lost my V at 8 to a neighbour's finger. Later, he would cum all over my dress. I never told till this second. The most painful part is I wouldn't recognise that man today and it haunts me. I wanna see his face and tell him what a pervert he is so I can find closure. My step-brother also abused me later on, I told my step-mum and she said it was my fault. Till today, I have never had an orgasm during sex cos I see it as a chore and my mind is elsewhere. It led to many bad decisions. Here I am, a single mother of a 10 year old and an 8 year old at just 27, unable to love or be loved. I want to, I just can't. But I await the day any man or woman will attempt anything on my kids, God will receive two visitors that day. This is my story.
ReplyDeleteafter reading eva's story in bleed in my spirit course i cant cry out loud as am in the office. it takes me back memory lane, i too was molested as a child by my cousin Eze n neighbour whom we call musa though he is igbo. i cant remember how old i was exactly but i ws btw the age of 6/7. i couldnt tellme mum even though anytime i complained to her that my peepee is paining me she ask if anybdy touched me there. growing up i tried to block it out of my mind completely but anytime i feel down or sad i can still remember his sweaty smelly body odour as he did some nasty things to me. one tym my brother saw us an tormented me with it till it got to my parents ear. Eze was bundled like a baggage out of our house.
ReplyDeletethe effect n aftermat of child molestation lingers even till old age, no matter how hard we try to block it out or pretend it never happened.some how it has made me an introvert, lately i've been praying to God to help me forgive them cos i hated them with a passion. growing up i found it difficult to ask for favour from any guy cos i believe they'll always demand something in return.
i vowed to protected every child i meet, i am married with a baby on the way, i prayed to God to help me protect my babies.
thank you stella for giving us this opportunity to talk about the bad did to us, a burden we couldnt tell no one. even though i hide in the face of anonymous i believe the first step to healing is letting out that which i have hidden for so many years.
mine was terrible, cos my father moslested me.
ReplyDeleteℓ̊ was sexualy abused by ma dad's cousin son wen ℓ̊ was 11,Jss1 †̥̥Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ b precise. He jst finished his sec. Sch and den came 2 stay wit us. ℓ̊ didn't kϞ☺w wat was apenin 2 me den. All ℓ̊ knew was D̶̲̥̅̊A̶̲̅τ̲̅ he kept insertin his fingers into ma private part wich was alwys painful. ℓ̊ cudnt tel ma ppl cos ℓ̊ ∂ση'†̥̥ kϞ☺w hw d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ'l take it. He ended up havin his way wit me, ℓ̊ saw hell, ℓ̊ was broken! Ƌ̲̣̣̣̥Ĩ∫ has been affectin ma self esteem cos doe I'm older nw, ℓ̊ find it difficult 2 say Ŋo̶̷̩̥̊͡ 2 sex from anybody ℓ̊ dated. W̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ Ʀε̲̣̣̣̥ stil i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ talkin terms but τ̲̅ђع xperience I̶̲̥̅̊s̶̲̥̅̊ stil very fresh on ma mind. Pardon ma typos.
ReplyDeleteWhen I ws 8yrs old,my fada's younger bro came 2 live wit us,after some months,he started 2 touch me inappropriately on my breasts,my thighs and all.....I ws alwaz scared of him cos as young as I ws I knew it ws bad,anytym am alone in my rum n he is around,I lock d door or hide in d bathrum til my sisters come back 4rm dia lessons,he wanted 2 try dsame tin wit my younger sis but I vowed 2 him dat if he tries it,I wuld kill him while he slips,I told my younger sis to alwaz tell me if uncle touches her bumbum or breast,I alwaz made sure he neva stays alone wit her,it ws beta he ws molesting me dan molesting my little sis,I ws too overprotective of her and we were very close,and tank God,he neva tried anytin wit her cos I wuld av killed him,I swear,d bastard! Til I got 2 my junior secondary skul,he ws stil touchin me sexually aldo he neva penetrated me.I culdnt tell my dad cos he so much trusts his bro and I culdnt tell my mum cos she is very fragile n wuld av broken down @ such a news,I luv my mum too much 2 c her heart broken,my sisters weren't alwaz @ home,wen my uncle got married,he came 2 d house n wanted 2 try it again cos I ws alone wit our maid in d house,she ws washin @ d backyard,wen he brot up his hands 2 touch my breast,I held his balls n told him,d next tym he tries dis,I wuld personally squeeze dem til dey break den I wuld use a razor on his face......since den,he neva tried it and he has bin avoidin my house lyk a plague.it has bin over 10yrs now.am so hapi my lil sis dint go tru such,I talk wit her evryday n try 2 make her wiser n bold n confident.no relative of my husband or mine wuld eva live wit me and my children,I will not permit it!we wuld rada b sendin moni 2 such relatives 4 upkeep dan let dem stay wit my kids,Godforbid!
ReplyDeletehmmnnn! I remember i was also molested as a child,we had an uncle living with us then,he would touch my breast and finger me to the extent i started enjoying it.I would go to his room just to get fingered.he never penetrated but i remember as a kid i started getting really addicted to his touch to the extent i forced him to suck my genitals.when evryone was asleep i would sneak to meet him and get fingered.the day my romance with him stopped was d day he tried to penetrate and i can remember screaming and running away bleeding lightly cos he could not get deep.
ReplyDeletethen back in sch i went to an all girls sch.i had a mate who would make me press her breast and also insert my fingers in her pussy.ryt now i cant tell what my problem as i get attracted to boys and girls alike.
i have abstained from sex presently and i hope i am able to conquer that urge cos i am trying to abstain from premarital sex.SO HELP ME GOD!
BUT MOST TIMES WE THAT ARE BEEN MOLESTED ACTUALLY KNOW THE RIGHT THING TO DO BUT WE DON'T DO IT EITHER COS WE ARE SCARED PEOPLE MIGHT LAUGH AT US OR BLAME US OR WE TOTALLY ENJOY IT.COS IN MY CASE THE MOMENT I TOLD MY UNCLE OFF HE STAYED AWAY FROM ME AND EVEN APOLOGIZED FOR ALL D TIME HE TOUCHED ME AND NOW WE ARE FRIENDS AGAIN.we relate like it never happened.
we should always try to be observant and defend ourselves and people around us no matter what cos children of nowadays are even more experienced than some adult.
parents should pay great attention to their kids both male and female.and teach them about sex education.(all the part of their bodies that shouldn't be touched by anybody)know when ur female children start and end their menstrual cycle cos my lil cousin actually got pregnant ryt under our nose and nobody knew cos she and us didnt used to take note of her menstrual cycle. mum got very vigilant afterwards with all of us.lol
when I was 8, our neighbor used to rub his fingers on my vagina and den graduated to using his tongue at first I did not like it and he used to threaten to tell my mum and I was so scared of my mother den so I went along. It got to a stage I started enjoying it.I started having sexual dreams at that age.but luckily for me I did not lose my virginity till I left secondary school but I knew I loved sex. am 27 years and I have slept with 38 guys.i masturbate lyk 3 tyms everyday. I have prayed hard to God to help me cause I know it is not normal and he has been faithful. right now I am not a fan of sex again. I am keeping myself till my wedding night with my husband and am a much happier person.
ReplyDeleteI will kill any man dat tries wat I went tru on my dota,I will cut out his devilish penis and kill him and I won't av any regrets! I swear I will By God!!all dese motherf**kers step bros,uncles even dads n brodas,effing demons!oh God!am shakin as I remember wat happened 2 me but I had my revenge,OH so sweet a revenge,I poisoned his fud,yes,I did,we had rat poison @ home,he bot some a wrap of moimoi 4rm a hawker,I sneaked in2 his rum n put in a little rat poison in d moimoi he bot,he dint die but his lungs got damaged and he stil suffers 4rm d pains til date,he takes medication evryday,I wrote him a note wen he ws hospitalised,I wrote"u wil neva in ur lyf touch any oda girl sexually,I wish u death" he culdnt tell any1 abt it and no1 suspected me as d poisoner.yes,I wil do it ova and ova again!I ws 12yrs old wen dis uncle wuld come 2 my rum n open my clothes n rub his rotten smelly privates on my vagina,I ws too scared 2 tell any1,he did dat a few times and I knew dat he wuld very soon penetrate me so I did wat I culd by poisoning him and I am so hapi abt it!anytym I see him,I just gve him dis evil smile and wink!lol!cos he knws I almost killed him!:)
ReplyDeleteWow.....lol
DeleteIts funny but I'm hapi u stood up to it....
Good!!! That was the best punishment.
DeleteI was almost molested by my dads younger brother. Thank God for a seven year old child I was very sharp and i knew what hour was trying to do was wrong, so each time he came to the house I would run into the room and not come out till he left. There way a time he wanted me n my sis to come spend the holiday with him but my mum has been a very alert woman that checked our body n panties any time we came back from an outing. So she refused to let us spend any holiday with any stupid relative. So far by the help of God my mum was always vigilant. God will punish all those people that hurt little defenceless kids.
ReplyDeleteI'm a 27years old, single, pretty and intelligent lady, with BSc and MSc degrees from two prestigious UK universities. I have an enviable job in Nigeria which comes with all the perks. I plan towards getting my PhD because studying has given me a sense of fulfilment and achievement after years of emotional, physical and psychological abuse from men who came into my life. This started from child molestation/abuse at age 6. This is how it all started.
ReplyDeleteIn lagos where I lived with my parents and three brothers, as the third child I enjoyed competing and playing with my brothers. My parents wouldn't allow us play downstairs unsupervised but perhaps they felt it was safer playing in our neighbours' flats or in our landlord's huge loft above our flat. After all he was our dad's maternal uncle and business partner, whom we simply referred to as chief. My brothers and I loved running around there because it was spacious. However, chief had a driver/cook called Joseph. Joseph watched us play, sometimes he carried me on his back (he knew I liked that). He also knew I liked the Okin biscuits (the round ones. I'm sure most of you know it). Therefore he gave me what I liked.
I was fond of wearing shorts like my brothers but that day i was wearing a dress because Joseph had warned me prior not to wear shorts because I'm a girl otherwise he wouldn't carry me again or give me biscuits. Thus, on that particular day, while my brothers were playing 'hide n seek', Joseph sat me on his legs and I could feel his fingers parting my pant to the side while he rubbed my clitoris. I had no idea what it was but I must have thought it was part of 'playing', besides he was carrying me so I didn't flinch but I noticed that he stopped whenever my brothers ran past us. The weird thing was that I liked it. It happened a second time and if I remember correctly, from then on I was the one going back to look for him hoping that it would happen again. Sometimes he'd rub my clit, other times he only carried me. Today although I know I was abused, I wonder why I enjoyed it then. I guess that was the reason I never told my muomm. He didn't threaten to beat me, neither did he give me biscuits all the time but I kept going back to him and kept quiet. I was sad when I heard he had ran away with chief's money and Mercedes benz.
Besides that episode with joseph, I was also abused by my parents (without them realising it). At that same age 6 or 7, after our dinner at 7pm I saw my parents having sex. How did this happen? We always said 'a thank you' to our parents after each meal, if they were around. On that evening while the house help was washing up and my brothers watched cartoons, our parents had gone into their bedroom but I couldn't settle down to watch cartoons without thanking them for the meal (I guess i wanted them to praise me and reward me). So I got up, headed towards their room and without knocking I opened their door. The blue light was on so it was a bit dark but I stood there for a few seconds until I saw an image which looked like my dad moving up and down on my mum. I didn't know what they were doing but I ran out immediately my dad snapped as he asked: "who is that"? But I didn't wait to answer, I was quietly seated watching 'tom and Jerry'. I was scared because I thought I had seen something I wasn't meant to.
...cont.
ReplyDeleteAfterwards the image I had seen played back in my head for a long time while I tried to make sense of it. It haunted me. I remember wishing then that I could stop being distracted from my cartoons by those thoughts coupled with the episode from Joseph. But it wouldn't stop. I had lost my innocence at 6/7years. In retrospection, I remember that after dad had yelled, he didn't come out immediately to inquiry again about who had been in their room, not until after a few more minutes (I guess he wanted to finish with the action first). After that day, mum taught us to knock before opening their door.
The abuse did not end there. When I was 8yrs or less. We travelled to our home town during the summer holidays. There I met my maternal cousin, Nonso (he's late now). He came visiting with him mum. It was dark in the evening, my parents had gone out so we had to wait till they returned to turn on the generator. Nonso was a teenager (probably twice my age). His mum was babysitting us while we sat at the balcony as she told us stories. Then it started to rain and Nonso took my brothers into one of the rooms but I wanted to stay with aunty because I was scared of the dark but Nonso got upset and asked him mum to send me in. After much cajoling I went in only for someone to pull me down to the mattress. So I screamed but he covered my mouth while I felt his hand going up my skirt with his fingers rubbing my pant against my clit. The voice told me not to scream. Alas it was Nonso. He stopped when the light came on and I ran.
He didn't stop. He laid in wait for me behind doors or at the staircase landing, as a predator lays in wait for its prey. Then he'd pull me again. I felt he played too roughly hence I avoided him not knowing what he intended. While my cousin and brothers watched 'commando' in the parlour downstairs, I went to the parlour upstairs to look for mum because I wasn't a fan of action movies. Nonso must have followed behind and hidden behind one of the huge sofas. As I walked pass he pulled me and pinned me to the floor, covering my mouth, telling me not to scream because i'll enjoy it. He touched my clit with his finger (the usual) but then he placed his dick on my clit (now that was a first) after shifting my pant to the side. In confusion I laid there quiet. He didn't penetrate. It didn't happen again, because he left with his mum and we returned to lagos. That became another disturbing yet 'pleasant' memory to haunt my childhood memories. I replayed it in my head.
Stella, this is slightly emotional for me....I'd like to ask if early molestation increases the urge for sex?
ReplyDeleteMine was from a female(she started it) and I'm female by the way.....I was too little to remember who it really was, my mother was a young mother and never really knew what went on in her home...it was the MAID.
It went on for so long, primary school all through to secondary school...after which I swore it would never happen again, funny enough Midway through Primary School - I got groped/fingered by a male and swore I'd never get married.
In Uni i had females make passes at me...but i didn't succumb.. I've never let a man come an inch close....i've got raging hormones but I just can't get the real deal done, call me chicken ...issorai!.
I seriously think these things have a way of ruining a child's psyche.
The downside of it for me was:
1. Since I had an inquisitive and creative mind ...id go to any length to read erotic and sexually stimulating material(Yes even from Primary School)
2. Mental sex...became "IT" for me...i'd never let anyone touch me but would always conjure images in my head and get off on these images.
3. Finally got into some heterosexual relationships but ALWAYS do the "bolt"when it dares to get physical and touchy feely.
I still struggle,(Oluwa ranmi lowo, mo fe iranlowo e kankan) with the mental sex thingy and HATE Pornography passionately.
Mothers should educate their children on issues regarding sex and molestation, its never too early to start. When I finally told Mumsy, I'd become an adult she wept so hard...and wished I'd told her way back then when it all happened.
@ Valerie...I identify with you, I'll watch mine like a Hawk, when I finally have them.
God bless u Stella.
...cont. #3
ReplyDeleteThe following year, at about 8years, my dad took us to the village considering the expected riots in lagos. My mum stayed back but this time we didn't go to our country house, my dad dropped us off at chief's villa so his family could look after us while dad returned to lagos pending when it became safe again. Chief had a son who had a girlfriend. His girlfriend had a younger sister who was about 13yrs. But I guess she had been exposed to 'things' at her age because she wanted to try them with me. That day we had seen her older sister kissing chief's son. I giggled as she pointed towards them. later that day she suggested we do what we had seen the older ones doing and I agreed. She took me into the closet...and she kissed me...tongue and all. One more thought which would play back in my head...even till this day. My hormones were awaken, I started developing breasts (which I hated because I couldn't bathe with my brothers without being teased. At 9years (primary 5) I got my first period, skipped primary 6 to jss1 (10yrs). Became a lover of Christ and the choir at 12yrs (jss3), Lost my virginity at 13yrs (sss1) to a 21yr old guy at church who thought I was about 15 or 16 because of my height, physical development and sense of maturity (well, most of my classmates and friends in the choir were older than me). Dad became a beast at home and I found 'love' in this guy at church who became my boyfriend. He fondled my breasts and had sex with me. This time I was penetrated...it hurt this time. I had thought that I had already lost my virginity when Joseph touched me, when Nonso rubbed his dick on my clit and when that girl kissed me. How naive I was. I felt I was already used and filty and no more a virgin but unbeknownst to me I still was...technically. So I laid there while he gently thrust into my virgina (how unusual). I got to find out from him that I was still a virgin...but not anymore. I had lost it without having a chance to guard it jealously. My cherry had been popped.
Just when I thought the child abuse was over, the emotional abuse took over. All these have affected me psychologically. I have issues with having a boyfriend and when they get too I withdrawn due to fear of commitment and getting hurt emotionally again. Hence I focus on self actualization, career and academics, which makes me happy. This is my story.
Children can be abused in so many ways as I was. By all kinds of people, related or unrelated, through what they see or watch, even by their parents unknowingly, or through an unhappy home which pushes them to seek love outside which is misunderstood as sex. I would never want my children to grow up the way I did.
I was molested wen I was 4, by a neighbor's son, he should be in his teens then, it was so bad dat I could only feel the pain but cant speak out bcos I was ashamed, scared of wat my parent and siblings will say, so I kept to myself till dat. at 15 my uncle wanted to do same but then I was wiser so I confronted him and told him I would stab him to death, but later told my parent I never saw him again. growing up I saw sex as love, will make love to a man d first week we met, and I bcame addicted to sex. until 18 wen I was converted and gave my life to Christ I was delivered completely with the help of deliverance team and self determination but d thought of it still affect me till dat. but am tankful to God. now am 19 and a Sunday school teacher in my church to help children come out of such, and I told my children not to allow anyone touch their sexual organs except their mum. tanks aunty Stella am most grateful for the opportunity to come out of this after so many years.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm...i could not help but remember my days whilst growing up. I was repeatedly molested by our house help and our neighbour's son. Though they did not penetrated but they sure have their fill in digging my young vigee with their fingers. It came to a point after the pain and just no one around to hear me or listen to me, cos my parents were not living together and i had to stay with my paternal grand-mum, i began to enjoy n find comfort in it each time they came for it. I wonder why they never dis-virgin me then?
ReplyDeleteNow that i am grown-up and in my 30's, i have been engaged in self masturbation without the help of any man. I enjoyed it so much i never yarn for the touch of a man cos i know i can do it all by my own without their help.
The greatest gift i ever had was CHRIST, He changed everything and gave me the reason to love and be loved again.
He has blessed me with the world's most wonderful man who will be my husband later this year. May God in His mercies help me to take care of my children when they start coming especially from these demons parading in human form.
It pains me even now wen i see my aunt leaves her young daughter of only 10 to visit uncles and aunties in their homes at the slightest 'holiday/free day declared". It bothers me because i dont seem to see that protection of a mother hen traits in her over her young chicks. Wish she could read this and take necessary steps NOW b4 its too late.
May God help us all
MOI
I am in a relationship with a wonderful man, but it hurts when i can't express my feelings 4 him the way am supposed to. Always defensive, trying to be the hard girl so dat nobody will take advantage of me again. Its a secret i've been keeping for long nobody undrstands why i act d way i do not even my family members. It started when i was 4, first by my cousins ( 2 brothers), then my lesson teacher and my neighbour till we relocated to another town when i was 6. As if dat wasn't enough my uncle raped me at d age of 14 and again by armed robbers when i was 17. Thru Out my secondary sch days i never spoke to any boy, i hated dem, i never return greetings or handshakes from any boy at a point i was called a lesbian but i didn't care. Calling me a lesbian was far better than associating myself with devillish beings. Am 25 now and a graduate and i havn't been able to keep a relationship. I just pray God should help me get over it cos i hate sex wit passion, it disgusts me, i dn't even watch sex scenes in movies. #sorry 4 d poor english, am trembling as i type.
ReplyDeleteI was molested by several men, my neighbor, my teacher, my friends dad... I still remember those times, I was 6yrs or thereabouts. I wanted to talk 2 someone abt it but I couldn't cos my mum lived separately and my dad was very strict so I thought he would kill me, one day my dad caught my neighbor in d act and he almost killed him.
ReplyDeleteIt has made overprotective and very watchful with my kids...
It's good to know I am not alone. The worst part for me was always blaming myself. I even always questioned if it was an abuse because I enjoyed what he did so much, I severally went searching for him.
ReplyDeleteI also started touching other people inappropriately and engaged in several sexual acts with boys and girls older and some younger than I.
My childhood was rubbed from the tender age of 6 years old, by uncles living with us watching Pornography right in front of me, from neighbors molesting me, 'so called' uncles, etc.
It got so bad I only enjoyed masturbating by watching porn, I became addicted to porno, it was sickening.
Lord, I thank you for loving the imperfect me and putting me. On the right path, also for giving me my amazing husband.
Will definitely talk to my children about their private part early and tell them no one is allowed to touch it.
I was 6 when my father's nephew living with us began to put his fingers in me. He later left for the university, then a neighbor who is a tribe's man that my mum took close began doing same. He would use the pretense of sending me on an errand, and when i come in, he would do it. Once he laid me on the floor and brought out his penis to rub against my private-part but did not penetrate me. All this continued until i was 7 and i got fed up. One day, i summoned courage and told my mum about this neighbor. Hell was let lose! He was beaten and arrested, i was taken for medical check-up and was found to be still intact and we moved out. I didn't tell him about my daddy's nephew because as young as i was then, i knew i didn't want to cause trouble between my mum and dad's family.
ReplyDeleteI began avoiding him anytime he comes for holiday from school, but he was smarter and still cornered me since we were alone at home when my parents went to work. This molestation continued until i was 10 years old, but he never brought out his penis. One day, i became bold and told him I DON'T LIKE THIS! HE SHOULD STOP IT! I began playing outside with my friends and stayed in the midst of my brothers more, to avoid staying alone at home or near him. He got the message and the nonsense stopped!
This is my first time i am ever sharing this with anybody. He is married with children in the university but his marriage is in turbulence. He taught i and my brothers to watch pornographic with him and his friends!
Then my father driver wanted to start touching me when i was 11. He began playfully touch my budding breast whenever he came to drop the key, after doing it twice, i learned to stay away from him. He was also my tribe's man!
Since then, i knew how to avoid men until i became old enough. I got married and have daughters and my 2 BIL came to stay with us. My 2nd daughter at age 3 was complaining of her private part hurting her. I and my husband took a look at it to see if it was rashes but saw nothing. We thought i was scrubbing too hard when bathing her, so i reduced the pressure there when bathing her. When she complained the second time, we took another look, her hymen was still intact, but we became suspicious and we were watchful. When she complained the 3rd time, that was when i lost my cool and began shouting in my house I AM TIRED OF MY DAUGHTER COMPLAINING OF HER PRIVATE PART! I AM TIRED! My husband immediately rushed out of the bathroom summoned his 2 brothers into the room and began scolding them severely, that if anybody was tampering with his daughter, he would deal with that person and lay a curse on him! That was the last time my daughter complained of her private part and i don't let her go into their room to play again!
We suspected the youngest brother, because the younger one was with me when i had my first daughter, and i had no such problem, but when the youngest one came to stay with me, that was when my 2nd daughter began having that problem. And immediately we warned them, the younger one came into my room looking so dejected, to exonerate himself. While the youngest one did not say anything but went away for a week to stay with their mother before coming back.
This happened 7years ago, but we have educated my daughters so much on sex and allow them to read stories on sexual assault and told them not to trust any uncle or friend or neighbor or anybody, and they should always confide in us.
Whenever the youngest brother comes to visit or spend the weekends, i don't go anywhere! Either i go out with my children or we watch tv together. The younger brother is married with children already.
Parents don't trust any relation especially close neighbors. An outsider cannot perpetrate this hideous crime when they are not close to you expect it is clear case of rape.
Thank you Stella for this opportunity to clear this off my chest all these years.
My heart is so heavy, thank you Stella for this forum. I was molested btw age 6 to 7 by my uncle. He did it for so long that i got used to him and honestly used to look forward to it. But when it started and it hurt, he assured me that he mummy would never believe me because he's her brother and she raised him. He eventually stopped when i turned 7 and hit him on a day he asked me to give him a blow job. However i didn't know it was wrong until my ss3 when we were educated at school. I lost all the respect i had for him and made sure everyone knew, unfortunately i lost my Dad that same year so he never found out. I have forgiven my uncle but i must say his actions scarred me for life. When i eventually started having sex, it was almost like an addiction for me and it's always so painful. I eventually migrated to pornography and masturbation to get some pleasure. I'm seeing a therapist now because lately i have not been able to look at myself in the mirror without feeling disgust. She told me that my actions towards sex is because i'm trying to get the feeling i had when i was molested as a child and that i have to get past that. I love God so much and i'm praying hard to be free of this. I hope that by the time i get married and have my kids i would protect them with all that i have learnt so- far. Dear mothers, the people that molest kids are usually related to your family or very good family friends. Please educate your children as early as possible and protect them with all you've got.
ReplyDelete....Pearl....
@anon49
ReplyDeleteYES IT DOES, one of the symptoms or side effects of long term child abuse is the victim's love for sex amongst others…this is a combination of self loathing and low self esteem..due to the experience they have had in their formative years, some crave validation through sex since an older person who had carefully groomed them and lied to the child that she was the best after molesting her.
most victims also dont have any emotional connection to sex so they see it simply as a physical exercise to crave love and validation from men or women…
talking about it like many have done here is the first and most important step of dealing with it,apart from shifting a large load off your mind,it will give clarity and compartmentalise the problem making it easier to destroy rather than the problem occupying their whole life
This is really worrisome. Everyone, same story.
ReplyDeleteI was molested by two neighbours and my mum's step brother .I can't even remember my age when it started. But I rem ember one of the neighbours (he must havebeen 30ish at d time ) molested me when I was 11. He would force me to fondle his pen is. He kept it at that until he forced him to give him bj.. ..I shudder in disgust.
The other neighbours who was like 30 years older than me fingered with his dirty grubby cursed fingers. I can still remember the pain. Both threatened me not to tell, and knowing how easy my mum was with the rod, I preferred to keep mum for fear of being punished.
The relative about 8 years older did same in my mid teens. Coming from a background of abuse, I couldn't stop it. I won't be surprised if this happened to my sisters as well. Sad.
Now in early 30s married. I d. My husband knows just a bit of the whole story. I have two daughters now and I can't wait for my two year old to start talking/understanding something so I can teach her how to prevent CM.
THANK YOU STELLA.
@anon 36
ReplyDeletethe best way is to make the children totally free and unafraid to approach you…no matter any question they ask you how silly, dont shush them like we do kids.. listen to them and pay attention.if anything happens they will definitely tell you as it is both confusing and frightening to a child.
educate them about boundaries and always ask them questions in a warm loving and careful manner
I think the time is right 4 me 2 share my experience,I was molested as a child @ age 8 by my fathers brother who was a medical student at dat time,he does dat anytym am home alone wit him,fingers me nd touches my breast,it was frequent nd I started enjoying it at sme point,fast forward @ d university I was raped by a robber who bursted in 2 my room,I had 2 change skl although I told my mum who took me 2 a doctor,I got admission in anoda university,dat same year,armed robbers came 2 our haus nd I was gang raped again in d presence of my father,I almst died of trauma,d scenerio kept on hunting me,d worst was dat I got pregnant,I had no choice dan 2 abort it,d most painful part is dat I nevr had a boyfriend before nd after d both events,imagine me going tru d pains of abortion without having 2 enjoy proper sex willingly,fast forward,few months after,I also had anoda terrible experience nd I was questioning God on ow nd why he would allow all dis happen 2 me,I was jst 22,dis time around I was also raped by 2 men,I hated men,I cried,I refused 2 pray @ some point cus I vowed 2 marry as a virgin,but poor me,it was stolen 4rm me by perverts,wen I met my fiancee,aving sex wit him was hell,I nevr let him touch me,until I opened up 2 me,but I nevr gave him all d details of d experience I had ,I jst told him d ist rape experience wit d robber cus he gave me a scar on my back while struggling wit him.but 2day I give glory 2 God cus av gotten over dat experience.nd I pray my enemies ll nevr experience such let alone my children.this is my own ugly experience.Tolani
ReplyDeletecontd anonymous 59. I remember this youngest brother buying biscuit for my 2nd daughter only! I told him to stop it. If he cannot afford to buy for the rest children,i collected the biscuit and threw it away! This was when he came back from his one week self- leave. I became wary of him and watched my daughters like a hawk whenever he is at home.
ReplyDeleteWhen wives say they don't want relations staying with them, they call her unprintable names!
God please continue to protect our children from these demons in human flesh!
Thank u Stella for dis avenue
ReplyDeleteI'll try not to try for d pain mine hz put me tru I've never told anyone abt dis
At d age of 5/6 I was molested by a girl at dat young age anytime I'm alone in d room she wil com in nd start rubbin my genitals nd insertin her tongue in my mouth she will also order me to finger her or kiss her or gyrate on her it went on for so long dat I tot it ws normal nd I actually started havin somtin like an orgasm at d end of it my female cozin nd oda female relatives also did same to me it evn got to d point of somtin like incest wit my sister which dey encouraged I'm suprised no adult noticed all dat or did dey jus pretend dey didn't knw? I took d disgustin habit to secondary skul nd was lynched for lesbianism which haunted me all tru my stay my so called partner left d skul I was to remain wit d shame nd guilt I felt dirty ugly nd was genuinley suicidal I took pills to kill myself its a miracle I'm still alive I was addicted to masturbation
It was wen I gv my life to Christ I constantly prayed for a change nd refused to b a lesbian God hz bn helpn me as for d masturbatn I'm 22 nd still strugglin bt der is progress I'm uncomfortable evn holdin hands wit a woman cos I feel dirty I dnt evn hv much female friends cos I run I knw my healin will b complete bt is not bn easy God help us all
Sabrina
All this are common stories or should I say it has become a social problem,mine started before I knew me,by my father's sales boy,and like that to another and went on till I was 12yrs.wasn't funny couldn't tell anyone,carried it with me all my life but has always been on alook out for all kids,if I catch any adult doing that to anychild,the life of that adult ends right there,as in jungle justice.
ReplyDeleteThis experience made me not enjoy sex atall,I can stay a life time without it but masturbate a lot.
I pray for God to heal my heart,my soul,my spirit and my mind: amen
May God never spare anyone who has,will ever moleste a child: amen
i have tried forgetting mine, i was about 7-8 when this useless uncle,was touching me appropriately, he did it like 5 to 6 times that i got addicted and i kept going for more. am addicted to porn amd masturbation, am a virgin cause i can't trust a guy ontop of me. i doubt if i will ever enjoy sex, planning on seeing a therapist. up on till now, i have placed this thought at a never go to part of my heart. i swear to protect my kids with my life, no useless uncles or aunties. l know i have to face my fears one day and i trust in God to help me go through it all.
ReplyDeleteIt's odd that no guys have left comments on here. Boys get molested too. I am a guy and I was molested by my neighbour's cousin when I was around 6yrs. He didn't penetrate me but he made me suck his dick. I was molested again by another neighbour a couple of years later - again he made me give him bj. Funny thing is I didn't realize what they were doing was wrong. I just thought it was playing. I have never confessed this to anyone and will probably take this to my grave. I am not yet sure how the abuse has affected me because I am pretty strong-willed and i hate adopting a "victim" mentality.
ReplyDeleteMay the memories, minds and relationships of all who have suffered molestation and abuse be completely healed by God's redeeming power.
ReplyDeleteMay the memories, minds and relationships of all who have suffered molestation and abuse be completely healed by God's redeeming power.
ReplyDeletei was 9, i remember clearly, i had to live in my mums aunts house for a good year. my older cousin would come into the room every night with a box of chivita and slide under the covers, with his sisters on the other side of the bed.. he would violate me with his fingers and try to stick his thing in me while everyone was asleep.i was in his house...what could i say? or do? i would stay up every night and wait for him to come and be over with it. i had given up struggling a long time ago. i am 17 now and my mum found out a couple years back. its a painful experience , it makes you fee unloved and abandoned. at least to me, i know thats how i still feel till today.
ReplyDeletewow i am speechless. God help us. so much evil in the world. Why cant innocent children enjoy thier chidhood?
ReplyDelete